the

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:16, archived)

board

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:16, archived)

yeah yeah ok ok that will fucking do
Shitty rainy day here in Top London today, but other than that everything's OK really.

How bow u?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:44, archived)

yeah ok ta, just had a roofer round to look at my valley

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:45, archived)

IBYD

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:47, archived)

YDOB

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:49, archived)

va wi
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:00, archived)

All good here , I ordered that single and now the bloke is offering me other tatu stuff, I don't want it you nonce

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:49, archived)

heh
you'll be getting invites to 'private chat groups' next
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:58, archived)

Plod's man on the inside, might be decent money in it

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

Sounds great, sign me up!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

Nonce b4sh

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:09, archived)

NONCE BASH BEBBEH

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:31, archived)

It's probably because of all the things you said.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:32, archived)

feeling better today
had a lie-in this morning and my stomach seems to have sorted itself out

might pop down the park later
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:57, archived)

+o

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:58, archived)

no, my stomach's better now

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:59, archived)

good stuff, my guts weren't 100% right after Saturday until yesterday
I can get back on the spicy grub again now, hurrah.


Bonus hurrah: Mrs Q has just been told by the doc that she can start looking for work again, massive news
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:02, archived)

That's fantastic
Here's hoping they snap her up

bonus: you can celebrate with a curry now
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:06, archived)

it rather is
actually going to make shwarma-spiced pulled lamb flatbreads and home made hummus
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:45, archived)

Wow, this is extremely good news!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:26, archived)

yes it is, but she's shitting it now, hasn't worked for over two years

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:35, archived)

That's understandable
Getting over that hurdle will be the hard bit. Once she's back at it, it'll feel like she was never away
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:47, archived)

Its like riding a bike

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:52, archived)

Is she a professional cyclist?
Because that job is exactly like riding a bike
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:41, archived)

west end cycle courier, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:56, archived)

fingers crossed m8-o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:05, archived)

that is rather excellent news

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 15:26, archived)

Ups and downs m8
U?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:21, archived)

samesies m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:32, archived)

Got an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to have a look at my knee
Hilariously, the current theory is that my weight loss has caused it. The cushioning layer of fat that's now gone has allowed stuff to move and now the pins in my leg are rubbing on the back of my knee.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:29, archived)

That's patella-va story!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:31, archived)

^no one can cap this!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

I knee-ded to hear that, m8!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:34, archived)

have a joint to celebrate!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:00, archived)

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

I thought my new-found cycling mania had wanked up my right knee, but actually I think I must have whacked it and it's just bruise
#kneechat
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:32, archived)

Cycling is one of the few things I can do, nice and low impact

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

sounds like you 'kneed' to see a doctor!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:34, archived)

you 'kneed' to fackin shut up, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:08, archived)

just open it up and grease the pins every so often

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:50, archived)

I'm 'greasing the pin' as I type this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:07, archived)

*something about grease nipples*

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 13:28, archived)

Bright sunshine here
And the wind has died down, so it's not as cold as it has been
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 12:44, archived)

thoughtful?
what defines that?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:16, archived)

Barry Manilow did not write his hit song "I write the songs"

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:41, archived)

i didn't nose that

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:43, archived)

Me neither.
Turns out it was written by one of the beach boys. Who would have guessed.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:45, archived)

who would have cared?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:53, archived)

well, i would prefer it if my heroes didn't lie to me in song

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:54, archived)

maybe that's why he's got such a massive konk

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:03, archived)

Put a konk on it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:49, archived)

You really git me

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 11:04, archived)

Everytime me drive me car police a stop me superstar true me drive a fiat and a Mercs, seeweh me Lancia so more time when me go a east london fe check some cockneys, them a tell me to produce insureance, licence and m.o.t
But me say ...
(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:52, archived)

police officer, give me no producer

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:53, archived)

I suppose anpr police cars have rendered that song obsolete, thanks very much technology

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:56, archived)

the future is really bleak

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:57, archived)

I don't get all these new hip song references

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:04, archived)

I'm fucking jarjar fucking binks m8

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 7:54, archived)

man he was fucking great, RIP
seen this? some dude made a book of photos recreating the sleeves of old British reggae records

www.thevinylfactory.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Cockney-Translation_ps.jpg

blog.discogs.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/image4.jpg
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:09, archived)

That's cool

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:53, archived)

morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:05, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:27, archived)

Why do you insist on lying so much

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:52, archived)

I can't help myself
I'm just desperate for attention on the internet
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:22, archived)

You know,
I have a boiled egg every morning. Today I was told it was depressing that I eat the same thing every morning, but really I look forward to my boiled egg. I'll have had a really stressful day, and be really tired and get in to bed and just knowing that soon I'll have a nice comforting boiled egg makes me feel at peace.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:49, archived)

my wife likes a boiled egg too
I like that she likes a boiled egg, as it means I have cover for my noxious guffs of a morning, everyone's happy
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:55, archived)

That's the key to a long healthy marriage right there.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:59, archived)

wr sh
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 8:34, archived)

big fat cocks

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:05, archived)

were Credit to the Nation completely shit?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:27, archived)

completely shit, yes
cf Spearhead, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy

The latter being strong contenders for worst name ever, even beating LA's 'The Nonce' - who I've just discovered were part of 'Project Blowed' lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:36, archived)

What did they think "the nonce" meant?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:43, archived)

'the spanishfly'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:45, archived)

I honestly have no idea

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 9:50, archived)

Was meant to be "then once"

(dribble, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 10:13, archived)

hello, good morning

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 10:56, archived)

My wife just ordered 10 sugar cookies online for $155
That includes delivery, plus an optional free gift of 14g of Blueberry Diesel.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 2:57, archived)

not heard that one before

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 4:42, archived)

I just ordered 28g of you'll-get-what-you're-given for £220. No cooky option.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 14:00, archived)

Anybidy know whose side we are supposed to be on in burma these days? She seems like a genocidal cunt and millitary ain't all that

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 19:49, archived)

She has big ears, not sure if that’s important

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:09, archived)

it's very important

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:21, archived)

Then perhaps this whole thing needs to be settled according to ear size.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:29, archived)

Alexander Armstrong must be shitting it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 23:11, archived)

Noddy will be worried lol

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:28, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:30, archived)

Perfect construction of a lol there

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:44, archived)

And straight onto the populol page

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 3:00, archived)

Lucky it's not tooth size or Dave Hill would be at greater risk

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 23:14, archived)

Fuck knows
But if there's money to be made, war is usually the answer
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 21:29, archived)

I'm pretty sure it was the military what did all her genociding for her.
Don't worry, the ghost of Captain Tom will go over there and sort them all out, Raiders of the Lost Ark style.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 21:36, archived)

The Rohingya

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 22:22, archived)

burmas are deaf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 23:08, archived)

^

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 23:32, archived)

What's the best thing you ever saw on b3ta?
"Optimus Prime isn't even in my top 10 favourite Transformers" is one of mine. Also, that time that bloke told everyone how he hacks girls emails, then claimed he was looking when everyone pointed out how creepy (not to mention illegal) it was.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:08, archived)

Any time someone has a full on breakdown is funny
Unless it's an actual breakdown, of course
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:09, archived)

it always is

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:50, archived)

Does the one where that psychotic australian claims to have doxxed everyone to their employers still exist?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:20, archived)

yes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:24, archived)

I think they quietly removed off topic without me noticing.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:29, archived)

Also if anyone can post a link to psycho Australian or Wormulous flounce I would be thankful. Just been reading through most of Pooflake vs Monty which kept me very entertained.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:32, archived)

Closest I could find
b3ta.com/questions/internetmeets/post1401103
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:46, archived)

Cheers Cheers!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 17:02, archived)

That guy that turned out to be a paedo.
Or the trousers at the wedding
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:18, archived)

If the clothes are so important to you then why don't you make the clothes the God-parent instead of me? If you want me to the God-parent then let me wear my own God damn clothes

(dribble, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 19:08, archived)

Sexface getting his nose broken for fucking some other forum users missus

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:19, archived)

i thought that was Hexface

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:35, archived)

Hexy was a nonce.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:24, archived)

guy i was working with today swears theres a straight double of jimmy saville wandering around
totes unfussed about the apparent likeness

now, it does make me wonder, did he ever really die?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:40, archived)

Yes

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 0:03, archived)

cough BraynDedd cough

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:51, archived)

Wormulous’ epic flounce

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:21, archived)

And his mate , the comedy at the George bloke

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:23, archived)

Free entry for b3tans
If the search feature wasn’t fucked I’d post.a link
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:26, archived)

And a free touching up from a dirty old man in his 50s

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:28, archived)

Teh Hoodbutter b4sh

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:30, archived)

rip
b3ta.com/questions/notme/post1356853
(dribble, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:27, archived)

"I DONE A LEAPING FUCK INTO A PROZZIE AND DONE A CUM OUT HER BUM"
is pure poetry. Wherever you are, Mumps, I hope you and your family are well. I mean that sincerely
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:41, archived)

he's in Glasgow

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:58, archived)

poor bastard.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:57, archived)

EdsMeds
A genuine IRL, on-the-fucking-news Walter Mitty nutjob

I can't remember the details sadly but hopefully someone autistic like dozer will
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:39, archived)

he claimed to be a doctor or a spy or something
He would send creepy, bullshit-filled gazzes to Lady Boarder's
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:42, archived)

wohoo, nice one 'search'
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1219741/Victim-lying-Major-TA-girl-fell-serial-fantasist-said-hed-Army-medic-fighter-pilot-psychiatrist.html
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:44, archived)

collarspace was pretty funny, as was emvee's lego porn stuff
and Resident Loon's motorola startac
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:54, archived)

Oh shit, the Lego. Forgot about that one

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:56, archived)

ah yes, 'stentorian tones'
b3ta.com/questions/Gettingothersintotrouble/post1761437
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:18, archived)

You're just not putting the effort into your lies these days.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:26, archived)

I look back on that one with a mixture of amusement and embarrassment tbh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:29, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/thingskidssay/post1974955?highlight=answers-post-1976077
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:30, archived)

It's such a shame all those valued forum chums were bullied off the site by the horrid /talk trolls, isn't it?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 15:12, archived)

a cultural crime of brobdingnagian proportions

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 15:14, archived)

ye gods what a bunch of shitty dick fucktards

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 15:42, archived)

Grand

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:31, archived)

Is that some kind of performance-art trolling? No one is that ridiculous.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:24, archived)

oh shit, and pooflake's meltdown

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:59, archived)

Was Pooflake Poo flake or Poof lake?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:16, archived)

Poo flake, I believe
Think I asked him once
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:22, archived)

A mystery solved.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:27, archived)

I don't like not knowing things

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:37, archived)

Pooflake!
Pooflake?
Pooflake.
(Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out a poo flake. He places it on the counter)
No, pooflake!
Well there you are, pooflake!
No, pooflake! Lake for poof!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:32, archived)

*canned laughter* Right, now I need a fat blackock

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:27, archived)

I like this thread

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:07, archived)

Either 'Kill Your Parents' or 'B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Birmingham, POW' maybe.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:26, archived)

more than ten people at the same time

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:36, archived)

Some of the old /board flounces were fun.
I think they're all just redexes and long-gone replies by deleted users now, like tears in rain.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 15:22, archived)

I blame Monty Boyce.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 15:30, archived)

You know what?
I have no idea
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:21, archived)

I liked the time Queef's mate cut off a drug dealer's head with a samurai sword and bunged it down a rubbish bin chute
and the rozzers were like, well done m8, top work there lad, have a pint on us.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 Feb 2021, 16:27, archived)

invisible simpsons

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 19:24, archived)

I didn't see that

(dribble, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 19:48, archived)

Well that was alright
I like it when people talk about things they like
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 19:25, archived)

Generous posteriors

(dribble, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 19:48, archived)

CVMA

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 20:24, archived)

I'm wearing a snood
What are you wearing?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:14, archived)

Thin.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:20, archived)

how small

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:26, archived)

regular I suppose

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:36, archived)

Sandwich toaster at Amazon.co.uk
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:27, archived)

socks

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:28, archived)

disgusting

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:36, archived)

my heart on my sleeve

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:41, archived)

Down to a nub.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:49, archived)

Chemise, doublet, jerkin, hose & codpiece, usual Tuesday shizzle

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:56, archived)

A green robe
And some slippers
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 12:09, archived)

sounds like you've slippered into something more comfortable

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 14:41, archived)

A nice pair of jeans and a push up bra

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 13:08, archived)

Urban sombrero

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 Feb 2021, 3:00, archived)

Beat on the brat, beat on the brat, beat on the bat with a baseball bat oh yah, oh yah, oh-oh
Just kidding - don't actually do that please.

How are we all today? Dry and relatively bright here so off for a stroll at some point. Other than that, nothing amusing or entertaining to pass on, soz.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:28, archived)

How can anyone not love The Ramones, they were hilarious
V sad I never went to see them, had loads of opportunities but never got round to it, then it was too late.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:29, archived)

loads of snow here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:52, archived)

I'll pass that on to the families of The Ramones, I'm sure they'll be thrilled

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:55, archived)

kool, ta

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:56, archived)

Heavy snow here, was supposed to be running but F that yo

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:37, archived)

the frozen wastes of the impoverished North

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:52, archived)

I’ve heard it’s pretty grim up there

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:56, archived)

it fuckin is

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:57, archived)

Still, at least it isn’t the south

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:01, archived)

fiver a pint mate, fuck that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:02, archived)

fuken hipsters the lot of ‘em

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:05, archived)

running in heavy snow sounds like the sort of thing only a nutter would do
Such as our garold
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:57, archived)

Running in snow is great, breaking your neck slipping on ice not so much

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:59, archived)

Heavy Snow sounds like Darrin Kenneth O'Brien's nu-metal side-project.
I can't decide if that would be awesome or terrible. Oh no wait, yes I can.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

Now I’ve got his terrible ‘song’ in my head
Cheers tosh, Chosh
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:13, archived)

INFOOOOOOORM-AAAAARGH

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:17, archived)

I didn't realise for a long time that it features MC Shan who is very much *not* terrible

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 11:28, archived)

heh, that's in my head now
weather straight out of Fungus the Bogeyman here

might have a cheeky lunchtime pint
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:45, archived)

have you ever seen It's Alive?
man it is fucking fantastic

youtu.be/2u6afveLJ2s
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:57, archived)

never have
Edit: watching it now

26 minutes long, 28 songs: Ramones confirmed
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:59, archived)

5th row back , my mate Jim

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 12:12, archived)

lucky guy
they were absolutely killing it at that point - and in the UK they were superstars, whereas in the US no-one outside New York gave a shit, so the band are loving it as much as the kids
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 12:21, archived)

Oh yeah he loved all that , still loves his music now

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 12:26, archived)

I'm alright, hometime soon, and just heard that the drs will be visiting my dad with his vaccine Friday

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:49, archived)

oh nice one
my mum's mrs had hers Sunday - they are going great guns at the moment, but I would think we're going to run out soon enough
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:55, archived)

Well,
The longest song title ever is Hoagy Carmichael’s 1943 “I'm a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu Mama Doin' Those Beat-o, Beat-o Flat-On-My-Seat-o, Hirohito Blues.”
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 7:50, archived)

you're on fire with your music facts at the moment m8
Vaughan Monroe and his Orchestra have the shortest song title ever: 'I'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 7:57, archived)

I love music and I love facts.
And in some ways, I love you.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:06, archived)

there's a lot of love in the (chat) room right now

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:09, archived)

There
Hi dad, hope you're okay too, I cant think of anything specially I'd like for my birthday x
(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:31, archived)

Cash?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:34, archived)

I'd like to get her something for her 18th

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:38, archived)

oh dear, that's not much help is it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:39, archived)

Fucking useless

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:40, archived)

A gold or silver fine-chain necklace
something very simple that won't date.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:52, archived)

Yeah I've been looking at nexklaces, as you say id rather get something practical to wear

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:54, archived)

I don't envy you
Choosing something for an 18 year old to wear that isn't 'lame' or 'sad' is a tough call
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:55, archived)

I found this a few weeks ago, and the ex said it was lovely, but it's some composite gold instead of actual gold
www.mynamenecklace.co.uk/Product.aspx?p=4008
(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:06, archived)

there must be something similar out there in the proper stuff

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:09, archived)

Oh there is, not spending that tho
www.tiffany.co.uk/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/tiffany-1837-makers-bar-pendant-in-18k-rose-gold-24-68146844/
(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:27, archived)

that's very nice though eh
you've been working lately, why not splash out? Only 18 once
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:35, archived)

I think she would rather have a car or something

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:39, archived)

well there you go
surely you could get a decent enough used car for less than that
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:51, archived)

Cars are cheap
it's the insurance that costs an 18yo fucking thousands.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:51, archived)

I'm not buying her a car anyway, she will be off to uni September so wont need one

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:54, archived)

has she got a place yet?
I cannot fucking believe that my kid did her GCSE options last week
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:56, archived)

She's applied to a few , wants to be paramedic now apparently

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:09, archived)

hats off to her, fuck that shit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:19, archived)

Some diamond stud earrings, a gold link chain or a watch would probably make most sense
either they'll be worn and broken/lost but get some use or put in a box somewhere and rediscovered when they're older. In years to come "yeah, I remember that for my 18th I got a pair of diamond earrings/gold necklace" is probably a good thing to recollect. Better than "yeah, I got a sensible winter jacket." but then what do I know.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:08, archived)

^queer eye for the web guy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:09, archived)

The shortest song ever recorded is "You Suffer" by Napalm Death
at 1.3 seconds long
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:01, archived)

They are a good band.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:06, archived)

^music facts

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

I used to love going to see them in the 80s
Stage diving was a big thing, and people would get caught out by the super short numbers and would be in mid air when they ended, and would as a result crash to the floor, v amusing.

One show in Salisbury some wag in the crowd chanted 'you fat bastard' at the bass player, who promptly took off his guitar, jumped in the crowd and decked him. In fairness, he really was a fat bastard. The same night my mate Biddy threw up on the mixing desk and we had to leg it. Good toimes.

Extreme Noise Terror and Sore Throat were great too.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:06, archived)

You are really really old.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

the word is 'vintage', m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

Delapidated

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:12, archived)

'seasoned', m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:24, archived)

Covered in pootina

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:28, archived)

Decrepit

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:29, archived)

shane embury really is a morbidly obese cunt

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:40, archived)

Well, I know what to have as the only song on my
music-to-have-sex-to playlist
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:07, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

A quick google says both you and the Guinness book of records have made fools of yourselves
dmdb.org/cgi-bin/plinfo_view.pl?SYN053324
(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:08, archived)

Why would you take this from me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:10, archived)

well now I don't know what to believe anymore

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:10, archived)

This is upsetting and has really put a downer on the start of my week

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:11, archived)

You cant handke the truth

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:27, archived)

the internet's just a big mouldy cauldron of fake news these days

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:16, archived)

I really wish people wouldn't just lie online.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:16, archived)

terrible netiquette

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:22, archived)

FINE. HAPPY NOW

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:20, archived)

Thank you. I hope this little hiccough doesn't negatively affect our ongoing Internet relationship

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:27, archived)

you know what windy?
You're alright you are
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:47, archived)

Yeah, well you're a spastic shit cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:04, archived)

yeah.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 10:17, archived)

It's not as long as one I just thought of

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:22, archived)

I bet you love thinking about long stuff.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:28, archived)

You'd win that bet

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:50, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:41, archived)

Hi

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 2 Feb 2021, 9:35, archived)

morning
Say morning to queef for me tell him i miss him and he has a lovely face
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 5:32, archived)

Why!?!?!?!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 7:34, archived)

I got drunk and was mean so he put me on 2.0

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 7:44, archived)

You do your own kiss-and-make-up dirty business
I'm sure you've got another account you can use.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 7:48, archived)

nope

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 2 Feb 2021, 8:11, archived)

*'Won't Get Fooled Again' YEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*
not really, hi there
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:51, archived)

my old man says they got 6" of snow last night, and they live in the South (US)
they're on the same latitude as the very southern tip of Spain, so I think that's rather unusual
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:55, archived)

haha, how funny would it be if someone made a joke about penises!!!
oh man that would be hilarious
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:56, archived)

It snowed for the first time in yonks in Spain recently.
A lot of Spanish men made snow cocks for the lols.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:46, archived)

That famous Spanish humour, loved and respected the world over

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:47, archived)

N.W.L

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:09, archived)

there's a small label that reissues obscure old hip hop records called Diggers With Gratitude
they're jolly good, as it goes
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:12, archived)

haha, I like it

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:54, archived)

My old man said be a palace fan, I said fuck off, bollocks you're a cunt

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:35, archived)

given where I grew up, the lyrics of that there were 'Pompey fan'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:41, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:00, archived)

y
trying not to order records on 'the internet'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:09, archived)

strikey Fooked
/Brian Glover in Alien cubed
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:08, archived)

I've never watched Alien
I'm perfectly OK with this
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:10, archived)

the first one is the best one

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:13, archived)

that's nice, dear

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:14, archived)

It's just occurred to me that the first victim in Cube gets cubed
only took 24 years to work that out, well done
(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:24, archived)

YOU FUCKING THICK CUNT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:54, archived)

Godspeed

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:17, archived)

Lift Yr Upset Fists Like Antennas to the Internet

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:22, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8291545
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:18, archived)

the problem with the Who is that they were shit

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:22, archived)

you know what, I always thought the same thing, but I gave them another go in my 30s and finally 'got it'
Nothing past the early 70s though

They were fucking brilliant at Woodstock, and 'Live At Leeds' is a really great live LP, up there with the best of them I reckon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:25, archived)

you midlife crisis top knot mod prick

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:27, archived)

just saying hi to the popular page
Cheers
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:30, archived)

well I clicked it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:36, archived)

speaking, how can I help you?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:33, archived)

the thing is they weren't really a mod band apart from arguably their first single
Certainly not by '66
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:34, archived)

My mate davel 'Chanel' was an original mod and will have no time for anybody suggesting the who had anything to do with proper mods

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:38, archived)

their first manager Pete Meaden was a proper mod with all the connections
He persuaded them to change their name to The High Numbers and release 'I'm The Face'. He wrote the lyrics, cashing in on the mod slang of the day. They got rid of him straight afterwards - that's the closest they came to the proper mod scene
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:46, archived)

Yeah he told me about that . He cant stand the phil daniels shit either

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:00, archived)

haha, I'll bet mentioning Paul Weller doesn't exactly go down well either
It seems to be a badly misunderstood part of London history.

I'd love to spend some time chatting with your pal
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:21, archived)

Hes a great old fella . His older brother was a proper villain, nasty piece of work, dave worked for Chanel for 40 years

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:27, archived)

one of my old mates from the 90s hip hop scene's dad was (apparently) a famous jewel thief in the 60s
Apparently there's a movie about him, but in fairness I can't verify that.

My mate told me that his dad said that most people talk shit and he wasn't bothered by threats - but one person he was genuinely scared of was Jimmy Saville: if he was after you, you were fucked.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:44, archived)

even if you weren't an 11 year old girl in Stoke Mandeville hospital

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:45, archived)

So that's why everyone looked the other way

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:48, archived)

when he ran clubs up north in the 60s people were shit scared of him: kidnappings, beatings etc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:59, archived)

his coffin was on public view in spanishfly's hotel of choice in Leeds.
Make of that what you will.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 18:03, archived)

I wish yours was.
Make of that what you will.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 18:09, archived)

My grandad mentioned he was a hard cunt ince, and something about all Bevin boys being nutters, and he was a commando

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 18:04, archived)

afternoon q’ueef

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:30, archived)

hullo Cheer's
u ok hun
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 16:35, archived)

not bad m8, u?

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:18, archived)

not bad either m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:23, archived)

Nice 1

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:31, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:37, archived)

Look, I've wopped 'em out!
for the lads, as it were
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:31, archived)

COR!!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:36, archived)

WHIZZER & CHIPS!!!!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 20:34, archived)

*brb racism klaxon*

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:47, archived)

#infest

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 18:00, archived)

I think at this rate the festival is never going to end
one year's dates just merge into the next
(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 18:11, archived)

RIP dustin diamond

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 19:21, archived)

Younger than me

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 19:38, archived)

deader than you

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 19:44, archived)

In heaven having a good old reminisce with patrick moore no doubt

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 20:36, archived)

Les Dennis was by far the funnier of their duo
AH DEERNT RURLEH KNERRR

Haha, classic
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 20:44, archived)

I always thought Ted Rogers was unfairly harsh on him

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 20:46, archived)

Oh man, he was great
'MUSSUZ RAHBUNZUN ARE YOU TRYING TO SUHDUZE ME'

Classic, RIP
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 20:49, archived)

personally I always thought his best work was as the mascot for "3-2-1"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 21:02, archived)

 
(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 21:05, archived)

Oh man 'Son of a Preacher Man' is a tune, RIP

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 21:48, archived)

Oh man, 'Fresh Mode' is a tune, RIP
#AmusingMyself
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 21:50, archived)

I liked it when he was on GamesMaster
Lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 22:17, archived)

'noon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:12, archived)

Still don't know what to get my daughter for her 18th , only 21 days to go . I know nothing about pleasing 18 yr olds, and Google is disgusting

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:16, archived)

get her a custom Wu-Tang handle

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:35, archived)

She already calls herself DJ AsboSlut, after the vodka

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:49, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:23, archived)

This was no1 when she was born, might get it for the lols
www.discogs.com/sell/item/1298240436
(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:19, archived)

that's not a bad record really

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:37, archived)

Were they not fake Russian lessies in school uniforms?

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:46, archived)

something like that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:47, archived)

they certainly were

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:59, archived)

I think you're going to have to ask her, mate
You're not going to be able to guess this one
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:44, archived)

She will say nothing, or something silly cheap

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:47, archived)

mine does that now, she genuinely doesn't want/need anything it seems
I think it's a good thing
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:48, archived)

My oldest is like this, as is his mother
The youngest wants everything ever made. Which is more like me, to be fair
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:53, archived)

sad to say I'm with you two
At the drop of a hat I can come up with an on-the-spot list of 'wants' in any range of budgets you choose, piece of piss
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:11, archived)

between ten and twenty quid

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:17, archived)

that's the price of most reissue 45s, I could give you a list of 25 different ones within a few minutes
www.juno.co.uk/products/the-blue-beats-roland-change-your-gear/804790-01/
www.juno.co.uk/products/the-blue-beats-the-ska-finger-mash/804786-01/
www.juno.co.uk/products/prince-alphonso-the-tune-up-ska-reissue/799155-01/
www.juno.co.uk/products/cosmic-shuffling-eastern-ska/779946-01/
www.juno.co.uk/products/reggie-msomi-his-hollywood-jazz-midnight-ska/747789-01/
www.juno.co.uk/products/llans-thelwell-his-celestials-golden-horns/524591-01/

and so on
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:23, archived)

unblock me i was drunk :(

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:28, archived)

actualol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 17:34, archived)

w p
(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:20, archived)

pith you two?
Nice work, monster munch!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:33, archived)

Yep
Couple of grand? Guitar please. A quid? I'll have four fucken double deckers, and enjoy them
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:41, archived)

buy her a musical instrument
best kind of gift imo
maybe a guitar of bass guitar and a copy of Rocksmith
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:15, archived)

She's played violin since she was 5, I'm sure if she wanted to play something else she would've by now

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:18, archived)

just trying to help

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 15:23, archived)

agreeing with TH here
No problem with asking, I reckon - when I was 18 all I wanted was a load of e's and hash but I suspect today's hip young things want something different, maybe some nitrous and a vape or something
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:47, archived)

If jewellers were open I'd have half a chance, looking online is shit

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:50, archived)

I'd bloody love to get some hash for my birthday
Might ask my mum. That'll surprise her
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:54, archived)

I have literally no idea at all what I actually got for my 18th
It wasn't a load of e's and hash, that much I *do* remember
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:28, archived)

I know my mate got me a complete tray of clipper lighters and a bottle of blue smirny, he was working in the coop and robbing the place

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:32, archived)

what a thoughtful chap

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:36, archived)

hahaha

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 14:07, archived)

we all took acid round at my mate's house for my 18th, but I don't think my parents bought it
in fact, I think we got them for free from Eddie, the least profitable dealer ever
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:39, archived)

dealing LSD is a terrible way to make money in this country
All the risk of possession with intent for a Class A, and you're making a couple of quid on each one at most
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:44, archived)

if you post them to Australia, however, you can get £15-20 a trip
Bit more worthwhile and of course very easy to transport *disclaimer* or so I've been told

The Spanish will pay a good price too.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:46, archived)

Eddie never even made that much
he used to drop one before going out and then dish them out for free to all and sundry
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:48, archived)

I did hear that he eventually got run out of town by his suppliers, to whom he was quite in debt :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:50, archived)

what a divvy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:53, archived)

2 trips and some whizz or cash

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:18, archived)

alright slippery mick 👌👌👌👌

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:36, archived)

noonoonoonooonoo

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:22, archived)

joking is allowed on the upper qotw

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:33, archived)

Which Jamaican naysayer shares her name with where you might go for a wank?
Pawn Denn!!!
(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 14:44, archived)

^Windy Winehouse

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 14:16, archived)

morninging

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:10, archived)

Poop

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:11, archived)

Not so far this morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:15, archived)

WAY ahead of you bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:16, archived)

Well, did you know
Donald Glovers nom de plume "childish gambino" was created by this Wu-Tang clan name generator from 2002

www.mess.be/inickgenwuname.php
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:33, archived)

I did not know that, no
Rather disappointed that having put my own name in there, it came back with 'Zexy Dominator'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:34, archived)

ah, much better: I tried again with the shortened form of my name and got 'Irate Wizard'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:35, archived)

I got 'Lucky Professional'

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:38, archived)

not bad, not bad

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:38, archived)

I got Amateur Ninja

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:39, archived)

I got 'Sarkastik Bastard'

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:45, archived)

OH, did you REALLY?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:46, archived)

Ah, now this is the stuff, right here ^

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:51, archived)

'Respected Conqueror'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:59, archived)

I got ‘B-Real’

(Garold Huzzah!, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:15, archived)

Zexy Mastermind

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:38, archived)

Annoyin' Bandit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:54, archived)

nnoyin' rse
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:54, archived)

I got 'Bittah Demon'
I'm not mad at that
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:07, archived)

X-cessive Professional
Sounds like a kind of hair care product or a rent boy.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:11, archived)

vulgar madman

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:14, archived)

K, reverse engineering this to find out everyone's details

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:41, archived)

Most of the people here know each others names anyway, I imagine

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:06, archived)

Oh was it only me who had to enter card numbers

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:08, archived)

Ah, I see what's happened
You didn't untick the "Yes, I'd like to join B3ta Platinum" box. It's not a problem, just email Rob and tell him he's a fucken failure in life, and he'll refund your money and cancel your account
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:10, archived)

I hate to think how barren this place would be if I didn't have all the enhanced content visible

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:13, archived)

Gentlemen assassin.
I like this better than my real name.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:26, archived)

he was great in Lethal Weapon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 13:10, archived)

Happy February

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:14, archived)

Today is direct debit day
huzzah!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:15, archived)

hullo gar-o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:16, archived)

Wotcha

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:20, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:32, archived)

I'm alright. You alright?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:34, archived)

y

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 8:54, archived)

STAY AT HOME
PROTECT THE NHS
SAVE LIVES
GO ON A FAMILY HOLIDAY TO BARBADOS AT THE AGE OF 100 AS THE SECOND WAVE SURGES AND NEW VARIANTS EMERGE, AND THEN GET HOSPITALISED WITH COVID
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:04, archived)

no u

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:06, archived)

I don't get it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:08, archived)

Captain Tom went on a family holiday to Barbados in December,
and now he's in hospital with Covid.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:10, archived)

It was a present from BA as a trip was on his bucket list , he can due knowing he ticked it off

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:14, archived)

Indeed.
Can't begrudge him that, but the timing was a bit off, what with it being when everyone was being told not to make any non-essential trips and to cancel Christmas.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:17, archived)

He should have took a few million and moved there, probably be alright instead of in hospital

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:24, archived)

I should imagine he saw the story of Tom's charity work and thought he'd let him have his ticket
Seeing as of course he himself ain't gettin' on no plane

Still, very generous of the man.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:24, archived)

What with the rise in value of precious metals
Mr. T must be worth a lot right now.
www.theguardian.com/business/live/2021/feb/01/silver-price-squeeze-reddit-traders-gamestop-ftse-dow-uk-factories-business-live
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:26, archived)

everyone called Tom is an abject fuckin prick, just sayin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:15, archived)

ok, first question, who is Captain Tom

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:20, archived)

could be a David Bowie tribute act eh

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:25, archived)

he's a national hero who proved that the nhs doesn't need funding from central government

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:51, archived)

It's funded a room the nurses can go to cry when watching thousands of old people die thanks to "eat out help out" all gets a bit much

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:00, archived)

UK's infection rate was like 1 in 20000 then , unlike London in December which was 1 in 30

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:03, archived)

I just like to lazily blame everything on that

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

no correlation i'm sure

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:03, archived)

Captain Tom is the new Skee-Lo

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:02, archived)

ok now I'm worried about the *old* Skee-Lo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:18, archived)

He did a charity walk around his garden
But it was for the spastics society
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:35, archived)

I wondered where dozer had got the money for his new wheelchair from
now I know.

Thanks, Skee-Lo!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)

He's a fucken million years old
And because of the UK's obsession with WW2, we all collectively masturbate over someone who was there, wandering around his garden
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:04, archived)

^ traitor

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:07, archived)

Sounds like a cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:16, archived)

Me you mean

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:25, archived)

Nice comma placement

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:10, archived)

Thanks, I've just had it done
/ac
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 11:11, archived)

I haven't had a garden wank for ages
roll on the summer
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 12:13, archived)

I don't think all that will fit on the podium sign

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:40, archived)

lectern

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:47, archived)

Wonder if there's a market for hannibal face coverings

(dribble, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:36, archived)

hellollo

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 9:13, archived)

i say goodbye, you say hello

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:20, archived)

I don't know why

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 10:49, archived)

Hullo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:01, archived)

Feeling better,? I've smoked a lot today.

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:11, archived)

Managed a roast but still dodgy
Going to have a big smoke myself in a mo and turn in
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:31, archived)

Oh fuck yeah me too

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 1 Feb 2021, 4:50, archived)

nullo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:33, archived)

I'm suffering from, what I've come to refer to as "kinky tube"
And it's uncomfortable as balls
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:40, archived)

I've got what Ive come refer to as 'ragged ring'
Great innit
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:58, archived)

god that's so fucking hot

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 20:12, archived)

4 real
currently enjoying watching all these hedge funds piss themselves
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:46, archived)

New xtube category?

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 20:22, archived)

'Day trader fucks entire block' could well end up being a category

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 20:24, archived)

I doubt they are now , I'd be surprised if it happens again

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 22:24, archived)

Eric Clapton is an anagram of Narcoleptic

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 8:37, archived)

Really makes you think

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:20, archived)

Not really.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:27, archived)

oh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:30, archived)

that's good to know
I've been sick as a dog since late afternoon, awful stomach ache, went to bed @ 7pm & am still not right now. Occasional relief from the odd guff but it's only temporary. Wtf is wrong with me?

Pray for me windy - this could be it for me
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:40, archived)

Did you eat any poison?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:41, archived)

only a little bit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:46, archived)

me, yesterday
4.bp.blogspot.com/_A_3-6iUz9DQ/SePJUwHLIhI/AAAAAAAADK8/q_sZUN9MF-o/s280/mushroom.jpg.jpg
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:48, archived)

I didnt know Clapton was a crazy racist
www.insidehook.com/article/music/eric-clapton-racism
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:08, archived)

he really lost his way in the 70s

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:17, archived)

He used the phrase "keep the wogs out"
That's pretty bad.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:27, archived)

an alcoholic and a wife-beater as well
lovely chap
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:29, archived)

Slowhands liked to throw hands.
At his wife.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:30, archived)

and he chucked his kid out of that window

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:43, archived)

Just to get a no1 single , disgusting really

(Nicki Minaj, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:46, archived)

didn't even say please

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 11:17, archived)

Not to mention the fact that he named one of his guitars "Blackie"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 11:24, archived)

gosh imagine how cross brb must be with him
wouldn't want to be in ol' Eric's size 9's, that's for sure
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 11:27, archived)

just so he could string it up

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:14, archived)

He loved putting his hands round its neck

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 14:24, archived)

youtu.be/LOrIBY16mXI
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:49, archived)

That might have been your mistake.
I do really hope you don't die.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:52, archived)

hope you dinnae die m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:50, archived)

I just feel like if i could only have a gassy, splattery shit I'd be OK but it's nae happnin'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:56, archived)

Try a prunes and stout coctail

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:17, archived)

egad

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

Are the guffs really eggy? Have you been burping?
If so, it could be gastroenteritis
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:22, archived)

no smell as such, just a really aching indigestion type of feeling

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:44, archived)

Have you been eating spoonfuls of baking powder?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:10, archived)

only a few

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

Sounds like you've eaten something that's given you a dose of the bloat
Try drinking boiled water, but don't let it cool down too much
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:19, archived)

I'll give it a go ta

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:24, archived)

fancy that
get well s'oon Queef Richard's
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:49, archived)

chz m8
Just throwing this out there

www.recipetineats.com/slow-roast-leg-of-lamb/#jump-dozer
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:55, archived)

lol
read at your peril
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:00, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:01, archived)

You know what? That IS interesting

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 10:23, archived)

Dunno why he's so anti-lockdown, then, if he just sleeps all the time. The fucking idiot.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 11:14, archived)

Doesn't like going to bed with a face covering just in case he sleepwalks into a supermarket

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 11:44, archived)

he was shit and a cunt

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:47, archived)

Windy, I mean

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:47, archived)

Cream had their moments

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 12:54, archived)

yeah I've a soft spot for disraeli gears from repeated listens when I was 15
but he was right to shit his pants when Hendrix turned up with some actual talent
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 13:10, archived)

ted nugent, you mean

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 13:23, archived)

NOW YOU OWN IT

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 13:25, archived)

Absolutely
Him and Paed Townshend knew the game was up
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 13:27, archived)

I love Cream
But I hate literally everything else he did
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 14:57, archived)

Tangled I mean

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 14:58, archived)

he did improve that ymo though

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 15:16, archived)

Like fuck he did

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 15:35, archived)

Blind Faith should have been great.
But weren't.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 16:26, archived)

I wouldn't be surprised if Morrissey turns out to be a paedo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 14:47, archived)

Instead of gay or as well

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 14:57, archived)

as well

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 15:14, archived)

gaedo
Maybe yours etc
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 16:56, archived)

The antichrist daggers?

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 18:06, archived)

at infest?

(dribble, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 18:06, archived)

amy childs has piled on weight but I still would

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 19:00, archived)

If I win the lottery tonight first thing I'm buying is a Maserati Levante V6 Sportivo X
I can't be any more specific than that sorry.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:55, archived)

bit rude m8, my thread was really beginning to take off

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:58, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8291330
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:58, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8291328
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 21:01, archived)

just sell your GME stock

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 21:02, archived)

I'll get a new toilet

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 30 Jan 2021, 21:25, archived)

my boss drives a maserati ghibli
it's 'quite nice'
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 30 Jan 2021, 21:44, archived)

Pretty sure anyone who drives a maserati is a twat

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:40, archived)

lol commie povvo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 31 Jan 2021, 9:49, archived)

Here, if you can afford a quid a week
theairambulanceservice.org.uk/your-local-air-ambulance/lottery/
(dribble, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 21:48, archived)

I'm scared of flying.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 30 Jan 2021, 22:59, archived)

If it was the only way to get you to hospital quick enough to save your life, I'm sure you could cope

(dribble, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 23:02, archived)

cope die
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 1:19, archived)

yeah?

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:21, archived)

no

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:30, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:35, archived)

says you

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:45, archived)

yeah

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:46, archived)

OK mate.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:46, archived)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:49, archived)

My weed came in bags that can be recycled tonight that's progress

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:53, archived)

very environmentally conscious 🪴

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 30 Jan 2021, 20:57, archived)