hiya internet pals!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 12:16, archived)

yes thanks

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 May 2021, 12:47, archived)

Sympathy reply

(Runcorn shitty limits, Mon 17 May 2021, 12:47, archived)

b3ta

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 13:16, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 May 2021, 13:20, archived)

Just having My first indoors pint since dec 13th, big day

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 12:59, archived)

I'm having an indoors pint right now

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 17 May 2021, 13:18, archived)

time seems like it's stopped altogether for me
this afternoon is going to take forever
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 13:37, archived)

alright, Sympathy reply

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 May 2021, 13:20, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 13:33, archived)

Just heard of a drag queen called Phyllis Navidad
I'm quite amused.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 May 2021, 15:24, archived)

Huzzah!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 15:25, archived)

Avatar 3 confirmed

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 15:41, archived)

12 years and counting between films, hopefully I'll be dead before that one appears.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 17 May 2021, 15:54, archived)

I never saw the first
didn't like the sound of it
(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 15:58, archived)

He's probably got another 8 or so lined up
gone full ridley with his david cinematic universe
(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:00, archived)

heh
like that "For Lease" sign on which some wag wrote "Navidad"
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 17 May 2021, 15:44, archived)

I'm struggling with these, what is the joke pls

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:00, archived)

Before your time

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:01, archived)

feliz navidad is spanish for merry christmas

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:04, archived)

Ok , I think drag queens and their funny names are all shit anyway ,

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:10, archived)

it's not my bag either tbh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:15, archived)

^
no judgment on anyone who does like it, but I just...don't get it
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:18, archived)

^ Monet Xchange

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:20, archived)

^ Fanni Phayrte

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:28, archived)

So funny this stuff , carrys the whole act

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:31, archived)

my new favourite name for a drag queen is Bob the Drag Queen
does what it says on the tin
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:38, archived)

^ Chutnée Pherette

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:39, archived)

ok now it might be this one

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:44, archived)

That was my favourite drag name, too.
Big black fella, IIRC.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 May 2021, 17:26, archived)

And yet he fell on love with your ginger arse , so cruel

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 17:32, archived)

Can we dress up

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 17:27, archived)

Morbidly Obese Angel

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 17:35, archived)

Is 'fat metal' a recognised subgenre now?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 May 2021, 18:12, archived)

M(ard)ukbang

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 18:29, archived)

Dim sum borgir

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 18:48, archived)

Drag performers mainstream deviancy and are yet another example of the degeneracy and moral bankruptcy of this Godless age.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 17 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

Sarah Plegic.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 17 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

What’s a wag?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 May 2021, 20:33, archived)

There's a funny tale behind that

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 21:47, archived)

Forget that, what’s a buff? As in, film buff.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 May 2021, 23:09, archived)

Then we’ll move on to ‘boffin’ I think.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 May 2021, 23:10, archived)

hello
i am very full of food
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 17 May 2021, 15:48, archived)

^me in about 2hrs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 16:55, archived)

i'm not your pal, buddy

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Mon 17 May 2021, 20:48, archived)

not you, earlier
youtu.be/9dhcPZue0xI
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 21:18, archived)

exactly

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Mon 17 May 2021, 21:49, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:03, archived)

it's here at last, indoor pints and grub
hooray
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:05, archived)

I'm certainly not doing fuck all work today

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:14, archived)

Mondays are always busy for me unfortunately
But at 6pm at the absolute latest I am off out for a curry and I don't care if I have to queue for an hour for a table.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:16, archived)

My plan is to find a greasy spoon and have a nice full english around 10

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:19, archived)

happy days are here again - for good I hope

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

There certainly seems to be an increasing rush to vaccinate everyone I do hope it's not because the stable door was left wide open, again

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:27, archived)

they should have shut Indian travel down long before they did, for sure

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:35, archived)

Just prior to partition

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

your mate brb is going to love this one

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:46, archived)

Don’t forget to kick the Dins out

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:26, archived)

hahahah

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

Definitely nothing to do with our shithead PM trying desperately not to upset India's shithead PM
as he casts around for trade deals to replace the ones we needless shredded when left the EU.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 May 2021, 9:33, archived)

as long as it's mainly people from Bolton who'll die as a result I think we can write that off as 'collateral damage'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:35, archived)

later oni
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:38, archived)

Ooh, very good.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 May 2021, 9:42, archived)

innit doe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:44, archived)

morning queef, fuck yeah monday

( broadsword, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:50, archived)

morning m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:58, archived)

Morning
Day off today, so I'm taking the parents for an anniversary lunch
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:52, archived)

nice one, have fun

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:58, archived)

Went to one of those "not gonna have a big one" Saturday afternoon parties
got to sleep at 5am on Sunday.

It was kind of a leaving get-together for some mates who are moving to Portugal so very much looking forward to staying with them later this year.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:55, archived)

Lisbon is top of our list for a long weekend Eurobreak once we can afford it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

I think they're pretty far north
it's just on the border of civilisation before going off into a big national park area - big walks and bicycle rides are the order of the day. Sounds absolutely idyllic.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:01, archived)

I'm a cities/culture kind of guy, nature holidays just aren't for me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:07, archived)

it always amazes me that a man such as you, that loves culture, is such an uncultured boob

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 May 2021, 9:21, archived)

it's shocking, isn't it?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

I'm bi-cultural
I love a gallery or an ox bow lake.

But yes, Lisbon is a lovely little city and it's a couple of hours on the train to the gardens of Sintra - really worth the trip:
www.martinrandall.com/gardens-of-sintra
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:51, archived)

noted, ta

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 11:17, archived)

Sintra is cool
go to the moor castle and sintra castle opposite. superb
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 17 May 2021, 11:33, archived)

just need to get the mrs back working again first

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 11:54, archived)

Loads of brothels in Lisbon

( mongychops, Mon 17 May 2021, 12:13, archived)

bingo - 'working holiday'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 12:28, archived)

Yeah, but what's she gonna do while you dole out the hand jobs at €5 a pop?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 May 2021, 13:13, archived)

morninh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 9:12, archived)

wankeh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

bit rude

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

morning, hugs are legal again, drinking indoors is legal again, the sun is shining,
i might stop for a pint on the way home later
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 May 2021, 9:19, archived)

Don't forget to hug your barmaid

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:26, archived)

Last week I heard "...and hugging to resume in Scotland from Monday" on the news, and wondered if I was watching The Day Today.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 May 2021, 9:26, archived)

hullo wind-o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:33, archived)

hullo
i'm back at work, yet there is no work to be done. which feels silly
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 May 2021, 9:59, archived)

that's going to be more than a little boring then eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:03, archived)

b3ta, you mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 17 May 2021, 11:34, archived)

Morning
Might hug a Hornbill now that it’s legal
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:27, archived)

good morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:11, archived)

yo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:32, archived)

Hands, face, space

(dribble, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:16, archived)

Hans, faeces, species

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:32, archived)

morning
might have overdone it a wee bit last night

surprisingly little collateral (or colonial) damage though
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:32, archived)

same here m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 May 2021, 10:33, archived)

Back from the pub
How's it going? Glorious sunshine.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 16 May 2021, 18:04, archived)

Same pissing down here though, but not cold

( mongychops, Sun 16 May 2021, 18:17, archived)

+ by this son of York

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 16 May 2021, 18:33, archived)

Thunderstorms and torrential rain here
Thank god you can actually go inside a pub from tomorrow

#thirdwave
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 16 May 2021, 19:24, archived)

I'm letting the bodies pile high as I type this

(dribble, Sun 16 May 2021, 20:05, archived)

Went through town last night
people everywhere and the pub gardens rammed, certainly no careful or cautious behaviour on display
(dribble, Sun 16 May 2021, 20:08, archived)

Guess we’ll find out if the vaccines really are working over the next few weeks

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 16 May 2021, 20:25, archived)

Those people are too young to have had one
Still, what's a month of coughing followed by lifelong impaired lung function, yolo
(dribble, Sun 16 May 2021, 21:40, archived)

Just stopped raining
But I've been in work all day, so I didn't get wet.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 16 May 2021, 20:41, archived)

Morning. I'm hoping for rain today so I can stay indoors under a blanket eating junk food without any guilt. What do you hope for?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 8:29, archived)

It's nice here this morning
Off for a walk in a bit then doing a full scale roast beef feast, I'm hoping today's as much of a laugh as yesterday
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 16 May 2021, 10:18, archived)

You lucky duck. My missus doesn't eat red meat so I haven't had a roast beef joint in a long time.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 14:05, archived)

FOOOD RACIST

(dribble, Sun 16 May 2021, 15:48, archived)

Beef loin matters.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 17:46, archived)

To finish work before 7.30 tonight
And that my mum and dad have a happy anniversary
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 16 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

No-one should have to pack sushi on God's day.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

Strikey fudge

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 16 May 2021, 15:06, archived)

For our toddler to stop needing night feeds and our cats to stop puking in the house.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 16 May 2021, 12:19, archived)

youtu.be/sQs8RQdibh4
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

Wow, that looks like it might actually be helpful. Thanks!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 16 May 2021, 14:24, archived)

You're welcome Mr Tea.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 14:56, archived)

World Peace
But otherwise I’d settle for a nice sandwich
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 16 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

"50 Most Popular Sandwiches in The World - TasteAtlas" www.tasteatlas.com/50-most-popular-sandwiches-in-the-world
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 16 May 2021, 14:52, archived)

Right now I need about £2,000,000.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 16 May 2021, 14:33, archived)

is this an entry for qotw debt pron?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 16 May 2021, 14:42, archived)

That's a lot of money, is there a specific big aim in mind or lots of little aims?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 16 May 2021, 14:59, archived)

The aim is 2,000,000 I think

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 16 May 2021, 16:21, archived)

Yes.
I reckon I can live out the rest of my life quite content with an extra £2m.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 17 May 2021, 0:21, archived)

I'm prepared to make you an offer. I'll give you half the money but I want 60% of your business.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 16 May 2021, 16:45, archived)

Sold!

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 17 May 2021, 0:19, archived)

I hope that our neigbours dog dies as soon as possible

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 16 May 2021, 16:47, archived)

I hope for 2can to start using apostrophes
Properly, not just thrown about at random.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sun 16 May 2021, 17:21, archived)

Dog die's

( broadsword, Sun 16 May 2021, 17:36, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite minor character from The Silmarillion? I'd have to say Ecthelion of the Fountain.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 9:49, archived)

Tom Bombadil
the book just didn't mention him because Tom is already the oldest and fatherless. also, he wears a blue jacket and his boots are yellow. fuck yeah!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 15 May 2021, 10:08, archived)

Good lateral thinking there.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 10:20, archived)

Bright blue, his jacket is.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 17:34, archived)

Hey nonny nonny!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

Brace himself

(dribble, Sat 15 May 2021, 22:24, archived)

Although Telchar of Nogrod is a close second.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 10:20, archived)

morning
alt: dunno, ask Stephen Colbert
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 15 May 2021, 10:25, archived)

Jambalor steward of Grimbleflad. Bane of Wackanackanoo.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 15 May 2021, 10:55, archived)

*brb racism klaxon*

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 15 May 2021, 11:04, archived)

What did I do?! That thing goes off for everything.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 15 May 2021, 11:13, archived)

it's like the lunk alarm at Planet Fitness

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 15 May 2021, 11:20, archived)

MC Jizzy Kecks

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 May 2021, 11:06, archived)

MCheers Cheersy Cheers, you mean

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 15 May 2021, 11:57, archived)

Homre Silmarillion

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 15 May 2021, 12:36, archived)

the lead singer, Fish

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 15 May 2021, 12:47, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8301652
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 May 2021, 13:10, archived)

heh
'Nobody' gets two thumbs up from me, it was brilliant

some really snappy direction, which is always nice to see
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 15 May 2021, 13:17, archived)

I was going to say "I likes Fish lol" but Boyce beat me to it
So I'm going to go and have a swastika tattooed on my head, and then pwn noobs by saying "actually, it's a hindu peace symbol, yeah?" instead
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 15 May 2021, 13:31, archived)

That sexy elf fella

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 15 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

Stupid sexy Feänor!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

Supermatt, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

"You look like the internet made flesh"

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

Best. Flounce. Ever.

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 May 2021, 14:23, archived)

Every now and then I think about it and smile.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 14:25, archived)

Alright ‘Bonnie Tyler’

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

I’d like to know more about this. I remember Supermatt.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 22:26, archived)

Obviously Thranduil.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 15 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

He's such a bellend in The Hobbit.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

He's the one who started the war because one elf sang out of tune, right?
If not, whoever that is is my favourite.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 15 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

Don't remember that bit.
He locks the dwarves up for trespassing.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 14:48, archived)

Ecthelion of the Fountain

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 17:32, archived)

Great minds think alike, eh?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 18:01, archived)

What are the chances?
I almost said Telchar of Nogrod.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 22:25, archived)

You nerd twat

( mongychops, Sat 15 May 2021, 17:46, archived)

Alright mongs.
Guilty as charged.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 18:01, archived)

I think as a kid I had a copy of it. All of the books are not for me, or the films. I believe the author was a terrible cunt too. There

( mongychops, Sat 15 May 2021, 18:42, archived)

I've never read it.
I've read The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, but never felt the need to go any further into Middle Earth. Is it worth it?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 15 May 2021, 19:15, archived)

I enjoyed it.
I think its reputation as very hard to read is greatly exaggerated.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 20:35, archived)

So it’s moderately hard to read?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 22:27, archived)

Well it's somewhat more challenging than Harry Potter, but it's not, you know Gravity's Rainbow.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 22:49, archived)

So, like, Harry Potter and the Rainbow of Gravity?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 23:07, archived)

Gurthang, sword of Túrin Turambar
I read the Sillmarillion recently, and it has a talking sword (Gurthang) not disappointed!
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Sat 15 May 2021, 19:59, archived)

Good choice.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 15 May 2021, 20:16, archived)

i'm here for you people
tell me your problems
i can help
( scott,, Fri 14 May 2021, 23:05, archived)

I fart out the front

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 May 2021, 23:09, archived)

i know
in a way i love you for that
( scott,, Fri 14 May 2021, 23:13, archived)

Whoah, blast from the past.
I think I had a pint with you when Tony Blair was still PM.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 23:35, archived)

Howdy and stuff.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 23:36, archived)

hello Mr. Tea
yes I'm sorry about Tony Blair, but I remember the pint was good.
nice to see some old-time b3tans still here.
( scott,, Fri 14 May 2021, 23:48, archived)

Still hobbling along, mate. Good to see you, however briefly.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 23:50, archived)

Johnny Hates Jizz

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:50, archived)

is that a lost Chuck Berry song?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 14 May 2021, 19:00, archived)

mama sang tenor

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 19:14, archived)

Cum-41

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 19:25, archived)

Jobbie Henry

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 20:09, archived)

Too bad, that's what he's for

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 19:36, archived)

Not to be personal or anything, but have you started blobbing yet?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 22:53, archived)

No
Going to have to see the doctor next week
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 15 May 2021, 5:53, archived)

I can only apologise for the poor quality of this thread

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 May 2021, 21:12, archived)

Actually it’s ok. I’m feeling pretty positive about it.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 May 2021, 22:47, archived)

POW! In your face with another new thread!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:03, archived)

Please try to grow up. You lot act like stupid kids.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 11:07, archived)

Please try to grow up. You lot act like stupid kids. mgggnnngnnng I'm a gay spaz who likes it up the bumbum from other gay spazes
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:12, archived)

Yes. Yes, you are.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 12:44, archived)

Back once again for the renegade Queefster

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:12, archived)

hiyas

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 11:14, archived)

Just been to the dentists
the hygienist fella scraped away two years of plaque, moving my head is now a much easier experience.

The dentist lady who checked me teeth said I clearly didn't have a high-sugar diet. Nice lady.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:14, archived)

Huzzah!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 11:17, archived)

you said it!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:22, archived)

hang on a minute
you had so much plaque that it prevented you moving your head?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:19, archived)

No, I'm just very sensitive
and the removal of a few micrograms of material from my teeth have improved the balance of my head.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:22, archived)

got you

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:30, archived)

Your teeth are coated in LSD?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 13:28, archived)

Um... yes? No. I don't know.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

Only think I can think of that could affect the state of your head at the level of micrograms.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 14 May 2021, 15:08, archived)

I should really go to the dentist too, but they are up near my office and that's fucking miles away

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:24, archived)

I can't believe nobody's done the obvious strikethrough yet.

pla spun
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:32, archived)

Sigue Sigue Spunquenik

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 11:38, archived)

Daft Spunque

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:29, archived)

Johnny Hates Jizz

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:50, archived)

Cum-41

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:54, archived)

Jebbie Harry

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 May 2021, 14:11, archived)

The Small Facials

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

DJ Cash Moneyshot

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 14:50, archived)

Cream(pie)

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 15:10, archived)

Thelonious Spunk

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:48, archived)

Johnny Hates Jizz

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:17, archived)

Cum-41

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

Jebbie Harry

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:21, archived)

The Small Facials

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:23, archived)

we've let ourselves down badly here :(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:39, archived)

That's not the half of it
scraped away shot
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:50, archived)

oh my

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:54, archived)

Lost a filling months ago
Waiting for the tooth to snap, as it's pretty much just the from left. I'll need a crown then, gonna get a gold one
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:09, archived)

you, when this happens
www.artandobject.com/sites/default/files/styles/gallery_item/public/10395-barron-claiborne-notorious-big-kony-king-new-york-edited.jpg
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:13, archived)

I'll turn into a middle aged black man?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:47, archived)

Is that how they are made?
for real?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:51, archived)

I don't think so

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:53, archived)

he died aged 24

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:11, archived)

They look like 24 hard years
s'all aaaah'm sayin'
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:18, archived)

he wasn't known for his love of wheatgrass smoothies

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:26, archived)

tooth Labour Party
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:30, archived)

shouldn't be long now

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:33, archived)

Sad but true

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:46, archived)

Oh, thank fuck!
Not pregnant!
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:01, archived)

me neither, great innit!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:11, archived)

Quickest 9 months and birth ever

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:43, archived)

I peed on a stick

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:54, archived)

Matt murdock filmed it

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

Trump denied it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 16 May 2021, 3:14, archived)

Lol, buck house have decided they're no longer going to dignify with a reply hewitt jr's constant clamouring for attention

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:45, archived)

excuse me, I think you mean DESIRE FOR A PRIVATE LIFE AWAY FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:57, archived)

LET'S HIDE HERE... ON OPRAH'S TV SHOW

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:05, archived)

Bet that was an interesting meeting with the bank to discuss their new business model

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 14:02, archived)

2/7 monkey spunk

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:58, archived)

I got just one
fucking hell
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 May 2021, 12:53, archived)

2/7 I hope you go blind

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

I hope you find peace

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 May 2021, 15:21, archived)

+ restaurant

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 16:18, archived)

and carrots

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:17, archived)

polite way of saying 'I hope you die very, very soon'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:52, archived)

1/7, Sour Diesel shatter

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

What a load of old wank

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 May 2021, 14:11, archived)

innit doe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 14:33, archived)

b3ta, you mean

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 14:44, archived)

Well....yes
What else would I have meant?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 May 2021, 15:15, archived)

This thread in particular

(dribble, Fri 14 May 2021, 15:50, archived)

Oh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 May 2021, 16:04, archived)

Just got the text for my 2nd vaccine next Thursday

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:03, archived)

thought they'd have done you in the first round gramps

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:04, archived)

Oh suddenly she has an opinions

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:20, archived)

Fyi miss is working in a juicer and is 18

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:29, archived)

staff discount?

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:37, archived)

Probably, too fancy for me , looks foreign, zingaras or saink

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:38, archived)

paint your trotters and get up there, might do a smashing long island

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:48, archived)

menu looks alright

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:51, archived)

It probably is, bit of a young crowd for me

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:08, archived)

Just glare at them, they’ll fuck off soon enough

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 May 2021, 3:35, archived)

isn't that on cbeebies?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:44, archived)

that's great, nice one
17th June for me but I keep checking back on the NHS site to see if I can move it forward, before all those Bolton pricks nab all the stock
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:10, archived)

Just under 8 weeks between the 2 for me

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:24, archived)

fantastic
that did seem to have come around quickly
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:49, archived)

Think old bojo is banging on about 2nd jabs now,

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 17:51, archived)

strikey an intern

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 18:19, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:00, archived)

morning
feeling betta today, like the fish
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:04, archived)

good stuff
weekend with the nipper ahead for me, can't wait
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:07, archived)

yesssss

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:08, archived)

Morning
Nice relaxed breakfast and the fellowship of the ring before the cleaner gets here
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

sounds alright
going to watch Mirai with jr tomorrow, bought her the DVD about a year ago but haven't been able to watch it yet
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:43, archived)

Not seen that one

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:58, archived)

when it came out I got us tickets to see it at the cinema
when we went there it transpired that I had bought them for 3 months in the future, like a fucking spastic - the date I'd got them for was not one of 'my' weekends so that was that
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:05, archived)

cool story bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:12, archived)

My local cinema is great
A community cinema, run by volunteers, dirt cheap and has nachos with proper nacho cheese. A ticket, a large drink, large popcorn and nachos comes to about £12
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

the one we go to in Whitechapel is owned by ex film industry types
they do genuinely decent pizzas and have a great bar, family ticket for 3 of us is £15 - the sweets cost a fucking fortune though
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

*paging agnostic antichrist*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 9:40, archived)

That's where they make their money
My cinema gives more screen time to kid's films because they know kids get their parents to spend a lot more than the parents would do on their own. They still show all the big new films, although they're a bit hit and miss when it comes to horrors
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 10:09, archived)

might watch 'Nobody' tonight
it's supposed to be good
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

That one I haven't even heard of

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:14, archived)

it's got Bob 'Better Call Saul' Odenkirk in it

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:15, archived)

I read a review of that, should be interesting to see him in an action role eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 14 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

yep, I want to see if he has action chops

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:22, archived)

i prefer pork chops

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 May 2021, 9:42, archived)

:(

( mongychops, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:44, archived)

cannibal

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:46, archived)

Looks interesting

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:31, archived)

here's hoping

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:46, archived)

plane-o recommended that one to me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:46, archived)

I will let u know if it is any good m8

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 14 May 2021, 10:20, archived)

chz m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 11:03, archived)

morning
might eat some left over KFC for breakfast
( Richard Shitheels, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:41, archived)

morning
get it down ya
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:47, archived)

morning matey

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 May 2021, 9:43, archived)

hello pal

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:47, archived)

how is old london town?
amd how is G?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

Not too bad thanks
How are you doing? Feeling a bit better about the world?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:58, archived)

yeah a little, i'm back to work full time next week,
i reckon a bit more of a routine and some more human contact might help. Plus, seeing the old man and my brother and niece at the weekend will cheer me up no end
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 May 2021, 10:11, archived)

I'm sure
My mum turned 70 yesterday but we're waiting til July to celebrate it rather than go and stand in her garden in the rain this weekend...
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 10:17, archived)

How's tricks?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 13 May 2021, 22:06, archived)

're

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 22:11, archived)

Prestidigitation eh?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 May 2021, 22:32, archived)

Still a pair of twins and a dwarf

( mongychops, Thu 13 May 2021, 22:32, archived)

Very bad
Just realised I'm 3 weeks late. I don't want to be pregnant, not at 46! I was told this couldn't happen!
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 May 2021, 23:53, archived)

don’t worry
it’s probably just ovarian cancer
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Fri 14 May 2021, 5:12, archived)

don't worry
it's probably just the menopause
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 14 May 2021, 6:29, archived)

Oh I fucking hope so

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:02, archived)

it's probably because someone couldn't keep it in their pants

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 14 May 2021, 8:03, archived)

GREASY MOOBS

(sticklebricks, Thu 13 May 2021, 15:58, archived)

Texture like sun

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:07, archived)

John Barrowman strikes again

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:08, archived)

that prick gets around more than the fackin Beach Boys

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 17:24, archived)

you mean his prick does

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 13 May 2021, 22:04, archived)

Aw, mom you're just jealous it's the+

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:11, archived)

GREASY MOOBS RIDING THROUGH THE GLEN
GREASY MOOBS GREASY MOOBS WITH HIS MERRY MEN
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:12, archived)

Grea-sy MOOBS! doo doo, doo-doo doo-doo!
Greasy moobs, doo doo, doo-doo doo-doo!
Greasy moobs, doo doo, doo-doo doo-doo!
Greasy moobs!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 13 May 2021, 16:16, archived)

*moves away from the mic to breath in*

(Martin Anus, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:17, archived)

DOWN GREASY MOOB STATION AT MIDNIGHT

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:23, archived)

TAKE ME HOME, TO THE GOOCH, I BELONG

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 May 2021, 16:41, archived)

thank you for putting an image of Fat Bastard sumo fighting in my head
*shudders*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 May 2021, 17:09, archived)

thank you for putting Carl Douglas' perennial heap-of shit-homage to martial arts films in mine
of course everyone knows what the real kung fu anthem is

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYYFyhZXDKk
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 17:21, archived)

That is some serious roller disco shit

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 May 2021, 17:57, archived)

I'll have to take your word for this m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 17:58, archived)

I used to love roller discos

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 May 2021, 19:07, archived)

not kung fu, I know
but that reminded me of this
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 19:45, archived)

youtu.be/0JElywbkSbY
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 13 May 2021, 20:17, archived)

Mono-ii!
Gyōji's decision upheld.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 14 May 2021, 0:49, archived)

WHERE IN THE WOOB?+

(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 18:02, archived)

is Carmen Sandiego?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 13 May 2021, 19:35, archived)

There's a voice that keeps on calling me, GREASY MOOBS is where I'll always be

( broadsword, Thu 13 May 2021, 19:39, archived)

and iiiiii e-iiiiii e-iiiiiii have got greasy moo oooo oooo oooo oooo oooobs

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 May 2021, 21:44, archived)

arf

( broadsword, Thu 13 May 2021, 22:09, archived)

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landside,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to
Me, to me
Mamaaa,
Just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger,
Now he's dead
Mamaaa, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, oooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all
The time
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooh
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
GREASY MOOBS, GREASY MOOBS, will you do the Fandango
( Richard Shitheels, Fri 14 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

Shitty rainy fucking day here
might guff on a gryphon to celebrate
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:03, archived)

my poor mother is going for a substantial meal outside for her lunch today
Hopefully the heavens won't open during the cheese course. The last thing I want to hear is that my mother ate a soggy biscuit for her birthday treat
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:12, archived)

Get soup, it'll last all day

( mongychops, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:16, archived)

haha

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:23, archived)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 13 May 2021, 12:21, archived)

I'm not proud of myself here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:24, archived)

Tell her to go for the surprise birthday bukkecake instead
it's a lot more fun than blowing out candles
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:17, archived)

aye, it's a grim dreich day up here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 12:14, archived)

what's the English-speaking option?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:24, archived)

Danish

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:26, archived)

Just walked past Helen Skelton doing a vid, want me to get a pic of her trotters

( mongychops, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:32, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8301651
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:34, archived)

nah, but if you see Helen George about then 100% deffo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 12:58, archived)

5 scam calls so far today
All claiming to be from the police, saying my national insurance number is being suspended due to illegal activities
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:37, archived)

it's grim alright, glad I don't have to be out in it
also today is dragging on like you wouldn't believe
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:50, archived)

ain't it just

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:00, archived)

sometimes Keeley Hawes is proper stunning but sometimes she looks really plain, what's THAT all about????

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:14, archived)

That labour mp y/n

(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:17, archived)

Diane Abbott?
A big fat Y from me!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:21, archived)

Oh HO!

(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:21, archived)

He'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:27, archived)

...Man in negative.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:28, archived)

I hope she gets a facial tattoo

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:19, archived)

strikey-g tattoo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:20, archived)

Her kid's name across her cheek

(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:23, archived)

"Hire me, alright, wankers"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:30, archived)

er, I'm not a casting director mate
ps good to see that you're not STILL upset about an innocuous post on plopular cyber forum 'slash talk' regarding the employment prospects of fictional tattooed job seekers.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:41, archived)

why are you such a knob

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:43, archived)

it's my greatest skill

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

The tragedy is that you're not even that good at it.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 13 May 2021, 13:52, archived)

I'm just going to let you stew in your own tragicness on this one

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 13:46, archived)

ok

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

makeup

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 May 2021, 14:43, archived)

kuvat.huuto.net/v1/7062/96bc977707f1bd983c96b81f8c2/453231687-m.jpg
(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 15:06, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:06, archived)

Bonjour

( mongychops, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:22, archived)

cba today
might take the afternoon off and drink lager
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:24, archived)

That's my plan, although it's a bit murky out at the moment

( mongychops, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:27, archived)

looks like it's going to be like this until early next week at least

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:41, archived)

Ooh la la, tray sophisticado, mussieur!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 13 May 2021, 8:43, archived)

morning queefy

( broadsword, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:28, archived)

alright mate

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

Here she comes just a walking down the street singing
Doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-doo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:32, archived)

singing
Doo-wah-d wit dem big t
( broadsword, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

swinging, shurely

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

fair point

( broadsword, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:42, archived)

+s

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:53, archived)

morning
my knock-off brand GoPro has arrived

so, what is that, like, a GoAmateur?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:33, archived)

NoPro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

heh, that works as well

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

FauxPro

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:50, archived)

*chef's kiss*

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:52, archived)

*restaurant peas*
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 13 May 2021, 9:07, archived)

vg

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 13 May 2021, 15:20, archived)

GoPoo

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:37, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 9:07, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

Morning
2 days off, time to relax
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:12, archived)

nice one

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:19, archived)

I need it after yesterday
Was promised I wouldn't have to go to Prawnhub(nigiri), but the damn supervisor sent me there anyway. I told her I was told I didn't have to and she said go to nigiri or go home and don't come back. Bitch.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:48, archived)

:(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:54, archived)

fokkin' prawns

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:58, archived)

I'm *brbRacismKlaxon*ing this entire subthread

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 10:04, archived)

one for you nerd pricks out there:
just had an order from the Dr Whom production firm in Cardiff

I had one from Sadie Frost yesterday an' all, but that's not very interesting is it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:36, archived)

I just don't think anecdotes are your forte.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 9:37, archived)

Not sure someone saying they want to cyber men is necessarily working for Dr Who

( broadsword, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:38, archived)

maybe they'd have better luck making the Tardis into a public bogs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 9:42, archived)

About time they got cancelled, letting barrowman carry on like that and turning a blind eye
#bbc #totpalloveragain #savilelives
(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 10:00, archived)

Bob Marley and the Whalers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 10:10, archived)

b&

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 10:18, archived)

Give Restaurant Peas a Chance

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 13 May 2021, 11:18, archived)

Imagine all the peephole

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 13 May 2021, 12:57, archived)

How did you know? I've got this gem from 2006...
Pair of Brown Eyes...

There was panic on the set of 'Torchwood' when a vital prop went missing. The prop, essential to continuity, was a large glass eye, which will form part of a recurring plotline. Cue much rushing around and frenzied searching by all and sundry.

Eventually it was discovered by... John Barrowman who squealed, "I've found it!" Once he had everyone's attention he pulled down his trousers and bent over, revealing his brown eye and another... brownish eye, which he gently popped from its puckered mounting.

Martyr of the day was the props man who had to scrub the greasy eye before the other actors would go near it.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 May 2021, 10:19, archived)

Did he have to clean the glass one too?

(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 10:26, archived)

John Barrowman getting his knob out and Noel Clarke being a sex pest
clearly time travel makes you a horndog
wonder what John pertwee got up to
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Thu 13 May 2021, 11:43, archived)

That was his nickname, not his actual surname
That's all I am at liberty to say
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 11:45, archived)

Tom Baker never said no to a salami sandwich

(dribble, Thu 13 May 2021, 11:49, archived)

Anal

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 17:47, archived)

You could at least offer to buy me a drink first!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 18:09, archived)

Studioc

(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 18:30, archived)

Wave 3, woohoo!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-57075618
(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 18:32, archived)

four, surely?

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Wed 12 May 2021, 19:10, archived)

(4)

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 May 2021, 21:00, archived)

Depends on how you determine a wave

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 21:01, archived)

usvsth3m.gif

(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 21:51, archived)

Wasnt sage and sexy models saying it was always coming. Hopefully in the summer ?

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 21:02, archived)

manchester shipping c

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Wed 12 May 2021, 19:09, archived)

Anal queef

( broadsword, Wed 12 May 2021, 19:10, archived)

No. 5

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 19:17, archived)

DVDA

(Tony Shithouse, Wed 12 May 2021, 20:17, archived)

Not now, I'm tired

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 12 May 2021, 20:17, archived)

But Queef has already lubed himself up and got his favourite strap-on out for you. :(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 20:54, archived)

He’s strapped it to his head and lubed up his ears :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 May 2021, 21:01, archived)

man what a waste of time *that* was :(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 May 2021, 8:08, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 13 May 2021, 8:44, archived)

The bra is off, today is done

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 12 May 2021, 21:35, archived)

Good afternoon
The week's already half over. What shall we do with the rest of it?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:28, archived)

Anal
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 13:44, archived)

sex can make your day, but anal can make your hole weak!
#hoaryoldjokes
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

celebratory steak dinner later
that's a decent place to start I reckon

it's my mother's 70th birthday 2moz also
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:55, archived)

that is a decent place to start
I haven't had a proper steak in ages

happy birthday to Mother Queef (sounds like a cabaret character)
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:59, archived)

her actual do will be in July when we can all meet up legally and safely
fortunately my sister has offered to host, and her husband is a superb cook
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:06, archived)

nice
I can't even remember the last time I cooked for somebody else

tiny violin, etc.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

wizard cowardly turncoat traitor
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

ha ha, what are you on about?
lol
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

get nandos on deliveroo m8, no need to cook eh
my brother in law was a Masterchef contestant back in the Loyd Grossman days and has a wine collection worth tens of thousands, we'll be well looked after
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

they always seem to be so modest about it as well
"I've just whipped us up something simple", before coming out of the kitchen with a mountain pike in a liquid nitrogen-seared salt crust and a leaning tower of Pisa made of macarons
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:25, archived)

Are you going to poke around his digs going "and WHOOOO would LIVE in a houze like THIZZZ?"
I bet he'd love that.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

I sure am!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:31, archived)

^ life and soul of the party ^

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:44, archived)

you betcha!
I'm a right jester and no mistake
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:53, archived)

Alright alias

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 15:17, archived)

I love that show, one of Cosgrove Hall's best
was very pleased when my nipper got into it too. The DVD cost a fair old whack though, must have been £25 or so
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 15:21, archived)

Jesus christ it's £60-odd these days

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 15:22, archived)

The thing about collections, is that you collect them, you don’t drink them. It’s a tragedy.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 May 2021, 17:41, archived)

dunno, might spend the rest of the week THREADSTOMPING A BELOVED BOARD CONTRIBUTOR'S THREADS WILLY NILLY.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:06, archived)

I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Are you implying someone has done that very recently?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 14:07, archived)

must be a reference to something from ages ago
there's been nothing like that going on today
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:08, archived)

no beloved contributors have been stomped today

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

None at all, as far as I can see.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 14:47, archived)

what, no 'lol willy'?
This country!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

what, no 'lol willy'?This I am an annoying
o
ry!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:16, archived)

MASTER OF THE STRIKEY-G

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

you seem to have an intermittent fault with what we in 'IT' call 'your caps lock key'
My professional advice is to destroy all of your digital devices immediately, and then belt yourself repeatedly in the genitals with a lump hammer
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:23, archived)

are you perhaps minded to suggest that I delete my account, then kill myself?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

that depends, are you a racist?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:30, archived)

oh I definitely am, I'm an unreconstructed pro-apartheid white supremacist, an avowed anti-semite, and firm believer in eugenics.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:39, archived)

in that case be very careful when you put your bins out, that's all I'm saying

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:52, archived)

it's alright, everyone's white where I live, no chance of being mugged by an illegal immigrant

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 14:54, archived)

it's brb you need to worry about m8, not immigrants

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:56, archived)

I doubt brb has the financial resources required to track me down, travel to my location, and then duff me up a bit simply for my political views.
BUT IT IS BIN NIGHT TONIGHT!!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 15:01, archived)

what, no 'Boney M' gags? Really?
This country!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 15:21, archived)

morning
lol
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 12:55, archived)

morning
lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

Sadly not very lol over here
towards the end of last year I heard a friend of mine had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She died yesterday. Her last few months were not very good.

Also been talking to colleagues who knew the young person at work who killed herself.

Not much fucking lol going around right now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:23, archived)

doubleplusunlol

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:25, archived)

Yep
not sure how my friend's funeral's gonna go. I'll have to be around for it but may not be allowed to attend due to numbers.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:27, archived)

since I'm not garOLD like you, the number of funerals I have yet to attend is unlol

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:35, archived)

pancreatic is the fucking worst
slightly related and more positive: today is the one year anniversary of my wife's transplant and she's doing pretty well
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:29, archived)

Some good news
very pleased.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:33, archived)

Hurrah!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 9:47, archived)

innit doe
apparently it's a big deal for those who've had them, mrs q has referred to it as her 'german birthday' in reference to the lad who donated his cells
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:33, archived)

I watched a video of a german lad donating his cells once

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:42, archived)

niche

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:46, archived)

just got this now, duh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:06, archived)

IBYDYDOB

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:43, archived)

so your wife is now part German?
wunderbar!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 12 May 2021, 12:20, archived)

she has a german immune system
rather odd really
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 12:27, archived)

Humourless yet highly efficient

(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:02, archived)

Me, I mean
in b4 brb
(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 13:02, archived)

jeez
I presume there were no outward signs from the person at work that anything was wrong, the way there usually aren't
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:32, archived)

There weren't
and it's not someone I've had direct dealings with (we're a big organisation) so it's not so tough for me, but we're all pretty isolated and I'm worried for team members.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

the past year and a half has done a proper number on people's mental health

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:37, archived)

Yeah
but ... this girl was still in her teens. I ... just. GAAAAHHHHH.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 9:39, archived)

my mate's kid was 12 when she tried last xmas, luckily she failed
really shocked me
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

Yeesh.
My girlfriend's dad died of that nearly five years ago. He got great care but it was more or less a forgone conclusion as soon as he was diagnosed. I understand it's one of the least treatable ones you can get.

Sorry to hear about lack of lols.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 May 2021, 9:48, archived)

And your last year of life falls during lockdown
just... so harsh.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

aye, what fucks everything up is that it becomes symptomatic only when it's advanced.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

I don't think "worse things happen at sea" is going to cut it here.
I hope your lols return soon.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

I have very fond memories
of being in a band with her as a kid as she belted out blues numbers. She was a lovely woman, huge fun, infectious laugh and wasn't shy with it. She's been a friend of the family for decades and my folks are both devastated, but have some fantastic memories. Gonna see if I can find some old pics on their HD...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:37, archived)

first

(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:23, archived)

not first

(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:24, archived)

in your face Kaol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:25, archived)

Haha!
Good work!
(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 8:27, archived)

Sup

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

feeling better today sir?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

Yeah, took it easy yesterday. Bloke onsite was saying how the manager keeps addressing the wrong person as the beadle, I nod along. And have now googled it and know wtf a beadle is

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:45, archived)

edit: I thought it might be a building site term, well I never

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:46, archived)

I thought it was just the name of the company that runs the building

( mongychops, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:52, archived)

well we've all learnt something new

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:56, archived)

uilding site term, well I never

+ out
(Martin Anus, Wed 12 May 2021, 14:07, archived)

haha, but on the other hand it's quite big!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 10:46, archived)

What is?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 May 2021, 17:43, archived)

I likes Paul McCardney
lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 12 May 2021, 12:18, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 12:20, archived)

morning FUCK YEAH WEDNESDAY

( broadsword, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:14, archived)

IT FUCKING IS, WOO

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

                  ___
                  `. \
                    \_)
    ____ _,..OOO......\...OOO-...._ ___
  .`    '_.-(  9``````````P  )--...)   `.
 ` ((     `  || __         ||   `     )) `
(          ) |[`  ````---__||  (          )
 `        `  ||) ,xx  xx.  //)__`        `  
  `-____-`   ,/  O`  O`   //,'_ )`-____-` 
           ,/     ,,     //  |//
          /      ((          //
         (   (._    _,)     (_) -OH YEAH!
          \    \````/        /
           \    ^--^        /
            \_   _____   __/
              | |     | |
             (   )   (   )
           ,--'~'\   /'~'--,
          (_______) (_______)

( broadsword, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:42, archived)

not long to the solstice now
lol
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:31, archived)

and once again a bunch of knobbers will descend on Stonehenge, blissfully unaware that they've turned up for the wrong one

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:35, archived)

people with face tattoos: do they want to be stared at, or not want to be stared at?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 10:45, archived)

haha, really makes you think eh!
you should defo put this sideways observation into your stand up act
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:49, archived)

haha - airline food, what's THAT all about????

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 10:56, archived)

haha, 'unexpected item in the bagging area' - doesn't that drive you mad???

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 10:58, archived)

haha, both working class people AND middle class people sometimes give their children silly names, what's THAT all about????

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 11:00, archived)

They want to be unemployable

(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:04, archived)

I wouldn't offer a job to anyone with visible tattoos.
Obviously I'd find an ostensible reason not to make an offer, wouldn't want to get my collar (space) felt for discrimination.

Then again, tattoos aren't a protected characteristic (unless you're a Maori, I suppose) so employers are perfectly entitled to discriminate on that basis.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 11:16, archived)

I'm pretty sure this is the least interesting thing I've ever read

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:19, archived)

you're just not putting the effort into your lies these days

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 11:20, archived)

that's nice, dear

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:25, archived)

thanks m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 11:28, archived)

So, I see that you have FUCK OFF written across your forehead.
Do you think your apparent lack of good judgement would be an asset to our company?
(dribble, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:42, archived)

I liked that time Sky had to can an entire series
because it turned out one of the contestants had nazi tattoos all over his face.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 12 May 2021, 11:47, archived)

that was Queef, m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 11:49, archived)

Yes, yes I do.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 12 May 2021, 11:48, archived)

Gone too soon , damn you
youtu.be/8mq4UT4VnbE
( mongychops, Tue 11 May 2021, 21:45, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 May 2021, 12:14, archived)

Hometime you mean

( mongychops, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:25, archived)

afternoon wank

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:28, archived)

spose

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:32, archived)

clogged penile arteries
hello alright, wankers

New research shows that if a man cannot "get it up" in the bedroom...
It's NOT because of his poor blood circulation and...
It's NOT even down to his low testosterone levels....
It's something completely different that you can reverse in 48 hours with the help of a potent "erectile tonic" that stiffens you up in 2 minutes or so...
Discover the potent "erectile tonic" men are taking to rapidly harden up in bed
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 13:03, archived)

""

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 13:06, archived)

sounds like superglue to me

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 11 May 2021, 13:10, archived)

Wonder if strychnine would get you stiff

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 13:50, archived)

alright, The Sonics

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 11 May 2021, 14:19, archived)

one of the best gigs I've ever been to
what a privilege that was to attend

www.uncut.co.uk/news/the-sonics-prove-it-was-worth-the-wait-at-first-ever-european-show-51755/
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 15:37, archived)

I bet you were fubar after that

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 11 May 2021, 15:54, archived)

most certainly

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 17:05, archived)

what garnish goes with erectile tonic?

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 11 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

ask brb, she's the booze expert

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 May 2021, 14:54, archived)

smeg

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 May 2021, 15:44, archived)

Restaurant peas, duh

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:35, archived)

-as +nis

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:36, archived)

Afternoon

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 11 May 2021, 13:50, archived)

Big ass tiddies

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

aye, paps oot ken

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 May 2021, 14:54, archived)

Aye
Bug fucken hooters
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:57, archived)

aye, tits oot

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 May 2021, 17:19, archived)

#sundaylunch

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 15:22, archived)

$$

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:57, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 17:16, archived)

well really

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 15:28, archived)

YES. REALLY.

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:32, archived)

my xbox one has gone menkle

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 May 2021, 15:03, archived)

"Hugging to resume in Scotland"
Great, another weekly doorstep-based neighbour shaming exercise
(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:20, archived)

If you're not happy being around others just yet, saucepan fondling is an acceptable alternative

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:22, archived)

I'm fondling my saucepan as I type this

( broadsword, Tue 11 May 2021, 19:18, archived)

Metal molester eh?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 May 2021, 20:08, archived)

Worst track on kill em all

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 20:14, archived)