morning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 7:04, archived)

Indeed

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 7:38, archived)

monster

(piss and shit, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 8:17, archived)

They did the piss
They did the monster piss!
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:34, archived)

cheers

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:13, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 8:44, archived)

ning

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 9:30, archived)

cunt

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:13, archived)

I wonder what Garth Girth is up to today

No good, if I know the Garthmeister!!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 9:32, archived)

Pure guesswork here
I don't actually know Garth Girth. Never even met the cunt, truth be told
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 9:34, archived)

My nephew the space cadet is meeting me on Thursday in the dam. Wants us to go Ravin. I'm far too old man

( mongychops, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 9:49, archived)

Are you bollocks
I saw Doc Scott at Metalheadz in Hackney a couple of weeks ago. Had the time of my life mate
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 10:24, archived)

See how I'm doing Friday night, I don't remember any raves in Amsterdam

( mongychops, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:10, archived)

as long as you stay away from the gabber you'll be grand

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:52, archived)

Looks like it maybe falling from the sky. 26c to snow. FFS

( mongychops, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:14, archived)

I just hope tits is ok after drinking that poisonous champers

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 9:38, archived)

Yeah what is this shit? I witnessed it in Greenwich spoons
‘It’s ridiculous’: publicans bemused by rise of single-file queues to get served | Pubs | The Guardian share.google/iZR10Tq51PTdgrTvy
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 10:26, archived)

I've heard about it, but not experienced it.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 10:28, archived)

sex with a lady, that is!!!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 10:29, archived)

Classic Spoons!
I'm bemused by the fact that article isn't by Adrian Chiles.
( .Yeti., Sun 1 Feb 2026, 10:57, archived)

See it all the time round here, I just walk to the jump

( mongychops, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:18, archived)

It's the only way they'll learn
Weirdos
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:49, archived)

I assume that fit birds still get to jump to the front?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:50, archived)

Went for a jog
It all hurts these days. I used to run 30 km on a Sunday for fun; now 6 km is hard work.

Probably because of the 2 years off from surgery, but I'm scared it might just be age.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:16, archived)

Alright garold

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 11:20, archived)

gender reassignment+

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 12:30, archived)

- reassignment
+ affirming
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 13:04, archived)

botched penis-enhancement+

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 13:02, archived)

W b
j w
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 13:07, archived)

Jogging is for blobbing birds and woofters.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:37, archived)

Can I take it that you're an unfit lazy cunt then?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 17:31, archived)

You can take it that I run at a manly pace and not at a slightly-faster-than-walking mince with my boobs all flopping about and everything

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 17:56, archived)

oo so butch
- you must be very proud
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 22:04, archived)

<s>ge</s> ids

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 15:47, archived)

Hi gunt's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:12, archived)

Cracking day out today
Top end luncheon, I'm a touch wazzed now
Mother in law is about to croak, sadly
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:15, archived)

*frog pun*
sorry to hear that
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:39, archived)

:(
Sorry to hear that, Chief Queef.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:55, archived)

She's been mentally checked out for ages
Now non verbal and wheelchair bound.

Dibnah eh eff
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:58, archived)

What's her /links username?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 22:02, archived)

Smegg Wallace

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 22:22, archived)

Hello
Massively tired tonight, think this week is finally catching up with me, I'll probably be in bed by 10.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:29, archived)

Been in bed all day
Now my back hurts from lazy bastardness
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:39, archived)

I recommend a brisk half-marathon before beddy-byes.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:54, archived)

me too m8
my back is fine tho
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 22:22, archived)

IMPORTANT NEWS it was -17c here this morning
also, my annual bloodwork came back fine, I TOTALLY ACED THE TESTS
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 23:30, archived)

nu
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 1 Feb 2026, 9:26, archived)

Shat her day

( Octo I ruin everything., Sat 31 Jan 2026, 14:24, archived)

Found a bottle of champagne in the loft... 21 years past the use by date
Y/N
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 17:43, archived)

Insert it gingerly into your anal cavity

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 17:49, archived)

Corked?
Y/N
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:02, archived)

Y, use plenty of lube

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:09, archived)

Is vaseline ok?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:43, archived)

Expired French alcoholic beverages are preferred as a lubricant

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:59, archived)

Depends, what's its use-by date?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 19:24, archived)

Dunno
The reduced sticker has been placed over the top
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 19:28, archived)

Y

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:11, archived)

Since when did champagne have use by dates?
I don't think I've ever seen one.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:20, archived)

Does it have the classic Tesco Value logo on the label?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:22, archived)

Marks and Spencer

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:39, archived)

and by 'one' you of course mean 'a lady's fanny' lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:24, archived)

Excuse me, I've been married to a lady for two and a half years.
Oh wait, you're right.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:28, archived)

Mingelol

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:41, archived)

No date on it
but the missus got it for her 21st birthday... I will not divulge her age though
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:41, archived)

If only you'd inadvertently given us a clue

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 19:25, archived)

She is 42
stone unfortunately
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 19:27, archived)

Depends
Which producer and year? Might be foul
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:20, archived)

Worth a try, though

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:28, archived)

v see below

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:44, archived)

^see above

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:44, archived)

Depends
Is it poultry? Might be fowl
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 20:13, archived)

Champagne's not famous for aging well.
You've got nothing to lose by trying it.
( .Yeti., Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:33, archived)

Tummy ache incoming

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:42, archived)

The loft?
Where it will have been heated to rather high temperatures? It’ll be vinegar, but worth trying as you’ll know the moment you taste it if it’s drinkable.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 20:27, archived)

^on the vinegars

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:01, archived)

+ strokes
is this it
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 31 Jan 2026, 21:38, archived)

MORNING!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 7:59, archived)

Hiya

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 8:23, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 9:17, archived)

I'm on my way to Bath for a day trip
U cudnt make it up lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 10:41, archived)

U need a bath m8 lol

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 11:04, archived)

Gonna be one of his wives?

( mongychops, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 11:23, archived)

Chaucer gags, the world needs more of em

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 18:26, archived)

Fucken love Bath
Shame Vintage & Rare closed down though
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 11:42, archived)

I've never been to Bath
AND YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE I STINK LOL
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 11:53, archived)

bath girth

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 12:00, archived)

birth

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 12:22, archived)

Bath Marenghi's Girth Place

( .Yeti., Sat 31 Jan 2026, 13:30, archived)

YFSFC

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 14:11, archived)

I went to Bath. Some kid splashed my neck

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 12:54, archived)

<s>d</s> g

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 16:10, archived)

WRONG!

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 12:52, archived)

SHIT

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 13:19, archived)

PANNICULUS FETISH

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 14:11, archived)

cheese and crackers y/n?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 22:28, archived)

Not at this time of the evening
- no
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 22:30, archived)

boo.

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 22:41, archived)

Absolutely yes.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 30 Jan 2026, 22:35, archived)

YES!

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 22:41, archived)

bit racist

( .Yeti., Fri 30 Jan 2026, 23:47, archived)

I prefer to say Queso y Honkies
But then I am a member of the Londonista Intelligentzie
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 0:57, archived)

of the Londonista Intelligentzie
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 7:43, archived)

n

( broadsword, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 4:36, archived)

actually y

( broadsword, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 5:21, archived)

Not at this time of the morning
- no
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 7:42, archived)

Just met a few peeps down the pub, we introduced ourselves and one guy claims his name is Garth Girth
Nobody laughed like it was a joke or anything, did I mishear and should I ask him again or is it possibly his name?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:37, archived)

Mind your own fucking business

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:44, archived)

Garth?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:46, archived)

Party on, Wayne

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:00, archived)

Girth?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:01, archived)

I mean...
If my surname was Girth, I would definitely call my kid Garth

Probs bollocks tho
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:05, archived)

What about Meaty, or Pencil? I'd like some credit if either of those are used, ok

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:07, archived)

dick girth
is dick a name? no it's a normous!
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:25, archived)

MASSIVE GIRTH

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:07, archived)

Part of the duo who founded Massive Attack

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:34, archived)

Daddy G(irth)

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:35, archived)

It's pronounced Gareth, the original band name was Massive Gareth

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:37, archived)

They had to change their name to just Gareth during the Gulf War

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:43, archived)

the girth war

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 20:04, archived)

He’s probably mates with Dirk Diggler

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:44, archived)

No real names please

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:46, archived)

Probably Gareth, and he thought you didn't hear, so he repeated it, but you still didn't hear apparently, Gareth is pretty sick of your shit ok

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:09, archived)

Garth Gareth
That is even more shit
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:10, archived)

NO YOU NUMBSKULL IT'S GARETH GARETH IS THAT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:11, archived)

I asked
It is Garth Worth

So you can all just fuck off

Pencil? WTF
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:13, archived)

He’s got a brother called Wotsit

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:41, archived)

Bit cheesy m8

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:44, archived)

your helmit, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:45, archived)

You nose it

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:50, archived)

Pencil Girth is a fantastic name, I've been making up names for a long time so I can tell
it's also a fantastic insult
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:33, archived)

Gareth, Gareth, you've torn your dress!
Gareth, Gareth, your face is a mess!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 30 Jan 2026, 20:03, archived)

Cadaver O'Hara

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:57, archived)

Serves him right for coming at Bruce Lee with those bottles.

( .Yeti., Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:22, archived)

Come out to play!
Best ps2 game ever
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:27, archived)

Worriers? Too angsty for me.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:36, archived)

Keep making those names
Gotta be a winner eventually

Slow down on the weed bro, you're on the brink of broken 😘
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:48, archived)

The weed is one of the things just about keeping me together, tits.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 20:26, archived)

also: fuck you, pencilgirth

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jan 2026, 1:08, archived)

Have we all had a wank over Catherine O'Hara?
Info needed for the eulogy, cheers.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:27, archived)

tasteful tributes please

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:37, archived)

Collectively?
Dreams can come true
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:50, archived)

might have accidently made some kids life shit. i was on the beach feeding the crows and a group of lads of about 15 came over and were interested in what i was going. handed them some nuts to throw, chatted for a bit and one of them went 'just wait until we tell ben dover'. involuntary ha! from me. is that a nickname? no that's his real name. you're kidding? no.

well.. don't you know... actually forget that. never search that name in google.

you know the first thing they did was probably search that name in google.
(lumpytesticle, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 23:40, archived)

Afternoon
Just realised I’ve not been into the office for almost 6 months.
What have you not done for at least 6 months, you can’t say ‘your Nan’
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:23, archived)

my Nan

(piss and shit, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:35, archived)

Standard

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:41, archived)

Alright, piss.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:31, archived)

Cheers' Nan

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:37, archived)

Impressive, she’s been dead for 33 years

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:41, archived)

hitler

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:44, archived)

Trump

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:58, archived)

Do you still have a salary coming in? If not you may have been fired.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:54, archived)

Fortunately yes
I work from home so according to the media I’m a workshy tossser
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:56, archived)

the media everyone I’ve met
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:56, archived)

I once got a couple of paychecks from a job I quit in a huff
because my manager didn't bother to tell payroll.

I only contacted them because I needed a p45 for my next job :(
(piss and shit, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:56, archived)

Bad luck m8

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:58, archived)

Why did you need a new job, you were getting paid

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:00, archived)

not enough

(piss and shit, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:10, archived)

bum's eggs

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:55, archived)

No thanks I’ve already eaten

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:57, archived)

Think back... around 6 months ago there were some suggestions here about shitting on a desk while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance
Do you recall giving that a try at the time? Did it get a somewhat mixed reception?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:56, archived)

Problem was, everyone was shitting on desks to assert dominance and eventually we had to move offices because you couldn’t move for all the shit

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:59, archived)

My impression is that all offices are like that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:01, archived)

Yeah, pretty much

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:02, archived)

Ours is like that, but instead of shit, we all express a powerful, musky fluid, from a special gland that grows in the space between the genitals and anus

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:24, archived)

That's nice deer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:29, archived)

I like to buck the trend

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:39, archived)

Musk be hard to get the right people…

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 21:44, archived)

taint musk but it's honest work

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:36, archived)

not sure

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 13:04, archived)

alright Luke Wilson from the film ‘Idiocracy’

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 15:06, archived)

alright

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 15:42, archived)

Your granddad

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 15:02, archived)

Impressive, he’s been dead for 34 years

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 15:04, archived)

I'm a necromancer on the side

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 15:55, archived)

Yeah I heard about you ‘raising’ the dead

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 16:00, archived)

You can't spell 'necromancer' without 'romance'.

( .Yeti., Fri 30 Jan 2026, 16:32, archived)

Gonz can

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:45, archived)

That made me cackle like a fucking loon

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 19:41, archived)

you are a fucking loon you fucking loon

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 21:25, archived)

I agreed to cover a sick shift to help my boss out today
Then had to stand in the street for 4hrs because the old bill had cordoned off Kings Cross, some bellend was up on the roof with a political banner.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 16:45, archived)

That was me m8 🇵🇸

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 16:54, archived)

Raising the roof awareness

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:13, archived)

Terrible bullying of Robin 'Robin Johnson' Johnson.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:32, archived)

flibbled my grobbel socket

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:15, archived)

DISGUSTING

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 17:34, archived)

i said i haven't!

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:00, archived)

Yes, it’s disgusting that you haven’t

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 18:43, archived)

that's true!!

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 20:05, archived)

Morning Glory
Up and at 'em
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 5:59, archived)

Up and at zem

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 7:05, archived)

Morning from sunny Malaga
It’s been lovely here so far…
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 7:12, archived)

Lots of dentists

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 8:03, archived)

Full of Arabs here , I must say I'm getting a bit sick of them . Rob dog cunts, they see us as shit but smile and are nice to you for money. Prefer the ones that blow themselves up. Be real ffs

( mongychops, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 8:11, archived)

oh dear

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 8:13, archived)

I do feel knowing a young girl was statutory raped in the toilet the other night has sullied this trip.

( mongychops, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 9:18, archived)

Classic arab behaviour

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 9:20, archived)

Awful, they don't give two shits about women. Makes this old fella sad

( mongychops, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 9:33, archived)

HANDS OFF COCKS, ON SOCKS!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 7:58, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 9:02, archived)

Mammary morning

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 9:06, archived)

Morning with tits?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 10:22, archived)

Morning to ( * )( * ), the user who posted this morning thread.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 11:12, archived)

again with the tits

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 12:47, archived)

Obsessed

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 30 Jan 2026, 16:10, archived)

Afternoon

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 12:09, archived)

Hi

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 12:26, archived)

Yeah, so?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 12:45, archived)

it is also *before* noon, if you consider all the noons to come
- there are way more future noons than past noons
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:50, archived)

I like your optimistic tone.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:52, archived)

The heat death of the universe is much farther away in time than the big bang
- and i reckon noon happens on every rotating body orbiting a star.

No optimism required.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:58, archived)

ah, but how long before the heat death of the universe will all the stars cease to emit enough light to illuminate any remaining orbiting bodies?
Perhaps noons will cease long before then.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:21, archived)

In about 10^14 years
Whereas the big bang was only 14×10^9 years ago.
QED
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:12, archived)

alt: I asked grok, and it showed me a picture of your big bang theory, iykwim

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:13, archived)

Did it somehow manage to make it both racist and noncy?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 29 Jan 2026, 20:25, archived)

roncy, yours etc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 20:27, archived)

archbishop rubert +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 21:35, archived)

I'm not convinced, sorry

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 13:19, archived)

Source?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 13:21, archived)

Sauce!
/babs
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:59, archived)

Grok, is this true?

( $$ ✅, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 13:50, archived)

Grok, please show me a picture of Afternoon being taken roughly up the arse by Morning

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:00, archived)

While Evening watches

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:07, archived)

I didn't have my glasses on and read that as Attenborough

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:21, archived)

Morning Harambe
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:26, archived)

unless you meant Richard, in which case
Morning a velociraptor
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:28, archived)

50p

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:42, archived)

Got my mince pies tested on Tues. I need varifocals :'(

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:29, archived)

You *need* reading glasses
- they're trying to sell you varifocals as a solution to that.

They probably hide this in the small print, innit, lol.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:33, archived)

I'm on varis
Initially I bought readers from Boots but when I also couldn't read the display boards at Waterloo I knew the game was up
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:48, archived)

I got varis cos I couldn't read while using distant lenses
wtfayboa?
also by mine online from china at less than a 1/4 of specsavers prices
(piss and shit, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 14:50, archived)

^by curious

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:37, archived)

I *have* reading specs that I wear all the time.
And no offence, but I'll take an optician's professional recommendation over the opinion of some internet rando.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:06, archived)

he's a wizard, can't you read?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:29, archived)

he's not a wizard he's a very naughty boy*


*spastic cunt
(piss and shit, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:35, archived)

Oh yeah, my mistake!!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:40, archived)

I have verifocals too.
They are far more convenient than multiple sets of glasses. But it's still a convenience rather than a necessity.

Anyway, reading glasses make you look more professorial and scholarly, and pull hot students.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:17, archived)

My long and short vision are both fucked now, i have to be able to read road signs and dashboard info when driving
it's a very common situation
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:27, archived)

Yeah but mine are reading lenses in proper frames tho

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:29, archived)

And that’s why you lost your job as a Primary School teacher

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:52, archived)

I'm told* one should NOT google "pthc" either


* Told right here on beethreeteeay
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 17:17, archived)

Alright, captain placid

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 17:38, archived)

Percutaneous transhepatic cholangiography?
or child porn?
(piss and shit, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 20:03, archived)

Dunno what that first one is but it sounds sexy af

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 20:41, archived)

Can't use them in my job. Not that I've got one. But if I'm looking to wire something on the ceiling I need magnifying to look up. Shit coming down ladders too vari

( mongychops, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:36, archived)

what a pain

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:09, archived)

I just have 2 pairs of glasses

( mongychops, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:14, archived)

I'd be forever losing them

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:53, archived)

I've got the straps. I'm an old cunt. Fyi 2 weeks in sharm is too many, going Cairo next week

( mongychops, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 17:52, archived)

I have a mate who's a diving instructor in Sharm
From what I gather there's not too much to do apart from fanny about in the sea.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 17:55, archived)

Sounds awful.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 18:19, archived)

It is. Like a shit Butlins . Sand niggers get gobby too

( mongychops, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 19:16, archived)

oh dear

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 21:23, archived)

ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/640x360/p01h0r1h.jpg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Jan 2026, 6:35, archived)

*something about the crack of dawn*

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 15:28, archived)

So it is

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:01, archived)

alright 'Jim Mcdonald'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 16:04, archived)

To be sure, to be sure

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 19:33, archived)

Ahoy hoy!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 18:31, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 4:45, archived)

Fuck you, Smegg Wallace, fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 5:12, archived)

Fuck you, mr morningable, fuck you

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 6:54, archived)

morning
- there's an owl outside, hooting at the moon
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 7:02, archived)

Did it hoot back?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 29 Jan 2026, 7:07, archived)

no he just farted in its face

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 7:16, archived)

Eh, 'member Noel Fielding being "de Moon" with shaving foam on his face and a generic humorous foreign accent?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 29 Jan 2026, 7:27, archived)

No, because I sat through the first episode of that lolwaki shit and that was enough for one lifetime

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 8:07, archived)

you really don't like fun do you

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 8:36, archived)

There are lots of things I find fun, and The Mighty Boosh isn't one of them.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 9:12, archived)

-The Mighty Boosh +b3ta

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 9:18, archived)

Absolutely, b3ta is to be taken far too seriously to be considered fun.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 11:13, archived)

It’s very serious business

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 13:21, archived)

I saw a bit of it once, they were chanting about soup
I remember thinking that anyone who enjoys this must be a complete cunt.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 9:16, archived)

CHEESE IS A KIND OF MEAT. A TASTY YELLOW BEEF.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 9:22, archived)

it's a long way for the moon
- is this what happened in that film Moonfall?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 7:34, archived)

Happy birthday, Oprah Winfrey!

( $$ ✅, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 11:32, archived)

She's a national treasure you know

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 11:34, archived)

She should be buried, then dug up in a couple of hundred years?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 13:32, archived)

Gayvening

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 22:06, archived)

Gaylander 2: The

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 22:44, archived)

The Dickening

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 9:47, archived)

your all gay for the afternoon

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:07, archived)

you bet your bottom I am

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:09, archived)

bit below the belt, m8

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:10, archived)

milk, milk, lemonade, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:30, archived)

round the corner your all gay

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:33, archived)

^ enjoys a Roddy Bottum

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:12, archived)

my all gay what lol

( .Yeti., Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:13, archived)

hello new person
oh no yourallgay.com is borked :( sadface
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:17, archived)

Well that's me getting killed then . Don't like homos here

( mongychops, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:14, archived)

they really don't. lucky nobody is a sausage bender there
holding hands is just friendly
( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:18, archived)

the russians are a bit anti-homo as well

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:19, archived)

And what about when afternoon turns to evening?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:25, archived)

On comes the evening dress

( Octo I ruin everything., Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:31, archived)

Gay.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:40, archived)

i have no penis and i must spunk

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 13:17, archived)

You *are* a penis m8.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:03, archived)

i knob m8

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 15:02, archived)

what's the mark up for changing the word order?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:27, archived)

<dyslexic>

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:34, archived)

Thank you, gayness fairy!

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 12:45, archived)

you silly goose

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 13:14, archived)

*honks*

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:26, archived)

phwoar!

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:32, archived)

g
y
es u
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 28 Jan 2026, 19:03, archived)

well this is awkward, I was planning a fairly hetero day to be honest

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 13:22, archived)

why tho?

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 13:50, archived)

habit i suppose

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 29 Jan 2026, 0:50, archived)

waaaay ahead of you

(piss and shit, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 13:39, archived)

-w +g

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 13:50, archived)

just burned my mouth on an almond croissant

(piss and shit, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:16, archived)

-rn +mm

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:31, archived)

Well that certainly sounds gay, so your story checks out.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:35, archived)

I've never come over a little queer!
Lol!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:16, archived)

Yes you have. I saw you
I was there.
( $$ ✅, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:32, archived)

Oh shit, yeah
Alright, well probably once. Certainly no more than three times
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:44, archived)

I preferred my granny's phrase for homosexuality.
She once quietly told me that a family friend was "a bit... AC/DC."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:37, archived)

That means bi, doesn't it?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:45, archived)

famously yes

(piss and shit, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 15:28, archived)

I don't think she was au fait with the ins and outs of the topic

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 15:42, archived)

it was a cover
she was secretly a bull dagger
(piss and shit, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 15:49, archived)

Presumably 'a bit' also implies bi-ness, as opposed to 100% totes gayballs

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:34, archived)

Unfortunately she's been dead for 29 years, so we can't ask her for confirmation.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:45, archived)

More excuses
Bad form, m8
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 18:04, archived)

Alright, fuck's sake, I'll dig her up and stick electrodes on her skeleton

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 21:08, archived)

It's a Long Way to the Bottom (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:45, archived)

For Those About To Suck Cock

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:58, archived)

We Skin Flute You

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 15:03, archived)

go on then

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:14, archived)

Sack in crack

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:35, archived)

Let there be cock

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:37, archived)

Bumderfuck

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:38, archived)

My aunt referred to someone as being "a bit light on his feet"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 14:49, archived)

my family used 'confirmed bachelor' as their euphemism of choice

(piss and shit, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 15:29, archived)

My grandparents said 'one of them'.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:08, archived)

Isn't that more for racism? I'd hate to get it wrong and offend someone.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:12, archived)

IIRC, this was nearly 40 years ago, it was said in relation to famous negro, Kenneth Williams.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:52, archived)

evil edna was a nazi

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:38, archived)

All xenophobia tastes the same
/really
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 21:07, archived)

Nuh-uh, my afternoon has boobies and a front bottom and everything.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 16:40, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:32, archived)

Yes but only lady ones

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 17:47, archived)

Chesticles

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 21:00, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 6:36, archived)

yes
- icy out

/MN blog
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 6:42, archived)

Manuel Noriega?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 6:47, archived)

Melson Nandela?

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 8:10, archived)

My Noblet?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 8:21, archived)

And I'm thinkin' about my noblet
When you gonna ring it, and when you gonna ring it
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my noblet
When you gonna ring it, when you gonna ring it
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my noblet
When you gonna ring it, when you gonna ring it
Yeah, I been thinkin' about my noblet
Oh, well
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 8:55, archived)

Hedgey Potter and the Noblet of Fire

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 10:56, archived)

noblet oblige

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 11:42, archived)

Irn Mong

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 7:44, archived)

alright Ricky Gervais, you haven't been funny since Extras.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 7:46, archived)

-since Extras

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 8:10, archived)

-haven't been funny +'re a cunt

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 9:21, archived)

Off on holiday today woo hoo!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 9:56, archived)

Getting a bit bored here. Looking to go somewhere else in a week of so. Not much choice from sharm airport. Might go Cairo, see if I can get in Rwanda or saink from there

( mongychops, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 10:34, archived)

afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 13:03, archived)

Off to the hospital to see mum.
Let's hope she hasn't shit herself too badly today.
( Octo I ruin everything., Tue 27 Jan 2026, 13:40, archived)

No mate, let's hope that she has.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 13:43, archived)

You would prefer it if she shits herself well?
You monster.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 14:09, archived)

Don’t forget to check-in on Facebook but without providing any context

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:34, archived)

<s>Facebook</s> b3ta

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 18:55, archived)

Alright garold

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 19:48, archived)

Not enough tedious irrelevant detail

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 21:38, archived)

I was about to drop £90-100 on an old hardcore record
More than I was happy to pay but I thought fuck it, I have to have a copy.

I already do, it seems. MNEURRRGH
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 13:49, archived)

If you sold it I recon you could get maybe £90 or even £100 for it, from what I hear
then you could buy another copy with the money you made. No. Wait. What?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 13:56, archived)

YESSSSSS

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 14:05, archived)

This is why you should add yr collection to discogs

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 14:06, archived)

It would take weeks
But yes, you're right. I wonder if insurance companies would accept it?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 14:38, archived)

Just do it in batches.
Re. insurance companies, no idea. I thought your collection was insured anyway? Nae doot there's an insurer that specialises in record collections.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 14:41, archived)

It's insured for a vague sum
Be nice if they could be forced to replace like for like though
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 16:56, archived)

Lol

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:32, archived)

They won't unless you pay a fortune. Same as watches

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 14:52, archived)

Slippery bastards

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 16:56, archived)

Pay about a grand a year. Never touch them. Golden

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:32, archived)

What record?

( broadsword, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:30, archived)

Rat rapping , 12". Still with our price stickers

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:43, archived)

"discounted to clear"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:48, archived)

I'll pay 1 million dollars

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:55, archived)

Classic

( broadsword, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:55, archived)

I asked Copilot to write a response to this thread and it just called me a fucking stupid fucking cunt

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:05, archived)

Vintage /chat

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:28, archived)

It works then

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 17:48, archived)

Too well

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 18:01, archived)

Morning
I’m gonna run into work. May get wet.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 6:14, archived)

how far is that?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 6:54, archived)

12km
It’s not as bad as I thought just passing London Bridge.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 6:58, archived)

Finished. 12.24km
I’m quite damp.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 7:53, archived)

Affa dreich the day

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 8:09, archived)

It’s drying out

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 8:25, archived)

I'm gonna punch myself in the face. May get a sore face

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 8:21, archived)

No pain
No gain
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 8:25, archived)

Still nice and dry, overall I'd say it's worked out pretty well.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 8:45, archived)

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 8:55, archived)

Some absolute willyhead on here/OT bitd was 100% convinced that Johnny Cash wrote that song.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:00, archived)

He didn't even write most of his 'own' songs ffs

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:17, archived)

I'll give them a RING OF FIRE IYKWIM

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:18, archived)

Everyone knows The Mike Flowers Pops did it first.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:17, archived)

I mean, that seems unlikely, even then the origin of the song was quite well known and documented online.
Are you sure he wasn't "trolling"?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:40, archived)

I think it was beloved, well-respected forum poster 'A Vagabond'.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:51, archived)

I met him a couple of times, he actually seemed alright IRL.
Pretty sure he was winding you up.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 10:10, archived)

Might see if I can be arsed to go the the beach. Got some red sea with a coral reef or whatever. Fishing is illegal so I'm not that fussed. Fishing illegal, madness, I put them back ffs

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:25, archived)

You put them back... post digestion?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:43, archived)

And away

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:45, archived)

Morning
I'm gonna do fuck all for now
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:48, archived)

oh MAN
I am back at work from Monday. Only two days a week to start with but still
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 11:14, archived)

Oof. Fuck that shit

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 11:29, archived)

yeah I am not amused

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 12:23, archived)

Mate I just paid 70p to visit the beach. Fucking world's gone mad

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 12:26, archived)

I had the runs at work
Many got wet
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 11:58, archived)

I downloaded queen greatest hits to travel. You popped in my head, no need

( mongychops, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 12:27, archived)

In b4 afternoon thread

( $$ ✅, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 12:44, archived)

Sly Dunliving

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 20:58, archived)

Robbed

(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 21:17, archived)

The arrhythmia section reunited

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 21:42, archived)

I'll never like puns, and every time one of you does one I think less of you as people. Just my judge of character. You all seem to enjoy it.

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 22:57, archived)

it's possible to think less of smegg wallace?

(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 22:58, archived)

Certainly. My scale goes down far. I'm like reincarnation

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:01, archived)

I'll always think that they're usually shit, and quite often that's the intentional joke, but occasionally they can be brilliant.
Different strokes and all that.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:14, archived)

It's a world wide web. If some threads of it are if no interest I chose another.

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:32, archived)

Being shit on purpose isn't funny. Tommy cooper managed it . A text based forum can't. It's rob closing qftw. There was none of this shit before. Wakki wankers. I'd fucking step any5doung this shit till it returns to normal. MTGA

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:37, archived)

Rob closing QOTW was the death of B3ta; I think we can all agree on that.

( .Yeti., Tue 27 Jan 2026, 1:56, archived)

Cheers

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 6:43, archived)

magic the gathering?

(piss and shit, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:22, archived)

Sly Dunfor

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 2:50, archived)

Yesterday I had the pleasure of entertaining my teenaged nephews
so we had a walk around Greenwich and after a quick mosey round The Observatory and the Naval College we ended up in The National Maritime Museum. The boys were very happy looking at swords, pistols, canon balls and old maps of London. When we went upstairs to The Nelson Room I spotted a very fine Admiral's jacket, wandered up and spotted a hole in the shoulder... the bullet hole made when a French sniper fired the shot that killed Nelson. The actual jacket he was wearing. I was struck tearful for a moment and the teenaged boys looked embarrassed.

Have you shamed anyone recently?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:04, archived)

Yeah, the other day I done a spunk, right, and shit come out my helmit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:09, archived)

Shame Richie

( $$ ✅, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:29, archived)

I don't think I've heard anyone described as "teenaged" since the 19th century

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:33, archived)

Lol old

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:45, archived)

And I thought we were getting on a bit. I downloaded some albums , got some great Melli Mel tracks . Fucking queens do shit

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:40, archived)

He's an amazing MC
He was still killing it in the late 80s when most of the old skool guys were retired
This is one of my all time favourite records
youtu.be/n7Usfdv2heA?si=_MhDh9LJJZbp3e7X
I met him once, he's a fucking midget
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 18:39, archived)

What a time that was in new York. It's surprising how funking early nwa was too.

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 19:17, archived)

I shot my Nelson all over some upstairs boys

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:45, archived)

Bit unlucky to die from a shot to the shoulder.

( .Yeti., Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:47, archived)

It never happens in films, the goodie is always fine

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:52, archived)

Bruce Willis would have just slammed his shoulder into the wall and popped out the bullet.

( .Yeti., Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:55, archived)

These days he'd just forget he's been shot, problem solved

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 16:04, archived)

Way he moves snipers nightmare

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:41, archived)

I've seen a couple of those many films he did before he 'retired', they're very sad viewing.
He still has the screen presence but you can tell he has no idea what's going on around him. Dunno if it was a family cash-in or being taken advantage of by an agent, hope it was the former.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 22:41, archived)

I'm sure I read he took as many jobs as he could to build up money for him and his family

(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:00, archived)

Seems weird to be rooting for a rich man cashing in on his fame, but here we all are.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:16, archived)

It was sad. They had to give him everything to do them. I think he wanted to till he couldn't. You would.

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:00, archived)

Yeah, got to think of how he felt personally, he must have known he was diminishing but that was what he did.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:18, archived)

it didn't shame anyone but I did cry at an art gallery in 2024

(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:50, archived)

Usually, yes

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:51, archived)

Kiss me, Hardy
lol
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:53, archived)

The other day, I shit in someone else's pants
Right in them
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 16:21, archived)

Were they still wearing them or had they been discarded?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:07, archived)

I was still wearing them

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:09, archived)

On your head tho

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:44, archived)

standard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 18:42, archived)

I was once a parent chaperone on a school visit to there. My heavy explanation of the northern Ireland troubles and the Baltic exchange stained glass window were remarked upon by a teacher. I was told to keep it more child friendly.
Every man will stand behind the men behind the wire.
Free the 6 counties
( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:38, archived)

Cani say, there are certainly no orange men marching from bursted woods primary school that class 17 years ago

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 17:43, archived)

You know kids though, they love to rebel against authority figures and you sounded like one there.
I used to do regular work in a pharmacy in Kirkcaldy 25-odd years ago. Three of the daily methadone clients invariably came in wearing Celtic tops. One Saturday they all came in early, which was unusual. Then an hour later the drumbeat came up from the boulevard and then the Orange March went past the front of the shop.

It surprised me, I had always thought that Orange March bullshit was a Glasgow/west coast thing, but there it was in Fife. I think it was a locally niche concern with dedicated adherents.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 22:53, archived)

b3ta, you mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 28 Jan 2026, 23:18, archived)

I went to Windsor Castle last year and saw the bullet that made the hole in his jacket with a little bit of thread from the jacket still on it.
Didn't see any need to cry about it.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 18:12, archived)

Heartless

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 19:15, archived)

I'm going to get King Charles to have a word in your ear

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 22:54, archived)

otted a very fine Admiral's jacket, wandered up and spotted a hole in the sho
lder... the bullet hole made whe
a French sniper fired the shot that
ill
Nelson. The actual jacket he was wearing. I was struck tearful for a moment
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 19:20, archived)

l n
around Greenwich and after a quick mosey round The Observatory and the Naval College we ended up in The National Maritime Museum. The boys were very happy looking at swords, pistols, canon balls and old maps of London. When we went upstairs to The Nelson Room I spotted a very fine Admiral's jacket, wandered up and spotted a hole in the shoulder... the bullet hole made when a French sniper fired the shot that killed Nelson. The actual jacket he was wearing. I was struck tearful for a moment and the teenaged boys looked embarrassed.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 19:34, archived)

i wandered spotty as a hole

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 19:34, archived)

alright Superted

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 20:38, archived)

I've just had the pleasure of knowing that my supervisor has requested the last week of February off
Because she wants to go to her friend's daughter's destination wedding. I haven't told her that I've already had that week off approved for myself and they're never going to approve 2 of us off the same week.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 23:19, archived)

be prepared to get fucked over

(piss and shit, Tue 27 Jan 2026, 9:24, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 6:11, archived)

morning
- I have the day off. Might x a y later.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 7:37, archived)

Disgusting.
Having a day off, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 7:52, archived)

-x +g

(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:51, archived)

Are yous askin

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 18:09, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 8:11, archived)

smeggy

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 8:20, archived)

Might walk up the pub.

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 9:22, archived)

Without safety gear, like that Alex Honnold?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:12, archived)

free solo was horrific to watch
genuinely stomach churning
(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:23, archived)

it was, i got myself in a real state, i had $20 on him falling

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:31, archived)

Yeah very disturbing to see him coming out of that block of carbonite.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:39, archived)

I'm wearing a condom at all times

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:42, archived)

That's a conveen m8, stops you making a mess.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:37, archived)

heading off into a youtube rabbit hole :)
m.youtube.com/watch?v=4yynyfs3uCQ
(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:51, archived)

They seem to be having a lot of fun with that model
Nurses are filth
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 14:03, archived)

it wold

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 20:07, archived)

"so its not ok to say o my god that's a whopper it wold made me feel better"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 20:07, archived)

Morrning fellow content creators

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 9:28, archived)

under the influencers

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:56, archived)

It is morning
But I've gone back to bed just to see how long I can go before someone messages me to do something. How lost in this company am I?
( Octo I ruin everything., Mon 26 Jan 2026, 10:08, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:01, archived)

Morning.
You’ll all be delighted to know I got that new job I applied for. I’ll be paid 11p for every sailor I sexually satisfy.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:27, archived)

Big money over here , I just ended up with around 5 kilos of tomatoes for that. Only wanted a panda and tomato roll.

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:41, archived)

I hope they used fresh panda.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:59, archived)

Never from concentrate

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 14:12, archived)

Will there be one of those satisfaction button-press machines like at service stations and aiport toilet?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 11:41, archived)

what is that?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:03, archived)

Like this, but for sailors to rate how sexually satisfied they were after the service
brainybirdz.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/2016-12-04-18-05-27.jpg?w=500&h=667
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:21, archived)

Rate Your Oppression!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 20:06, archived)

If there is, I hope it’s wiped down regularly.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:57, archived)

The sad face "DISSATISFIED" button looked well-worn and the fact it never needed wiping clean
told its own, sad story.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 14:10, archived)

moming

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:03, archived)

Buffalo is a verb apparently, it means "to confuse"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:21, archived)

Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 12:22, archived)

there's also
buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo
(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:06, archived)

i herd the first time

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:41, archived)

I just got an out-of-office email reply from Robert Todd.
I don't want to know what it's got in its pocketses.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:41, archived)

If Sammi turns up run , run fast

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 14:17, archived)

I don't think it would need to be fast

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 14:46, archived)

^ fancies Sammi

( mongychops, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:01, archived)

No, I mean I'm assuming she was one of the short round ones,
you'd just need to go through a narrow alleyway to escape. Apologies if I've got that wrong.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 15:32, archived)

Fair fa yir honest sonsie face?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:07, archived)

Sorry, I don't watch Star Trek.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:15, archived)

You should. It's very good. I'd personally give up after next gen

( mongychops, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:35, archived)

Yeah, it did all pretty much turn to bollocks after that.
Voyager had some moments worth saving but DS9 was shite.
( .Yeti., Sun 25 Jan 2026, 22:11, archived)

DS9 started slowly but became great over time.
Voyager was a huge turd with occasional gems studded through it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 8:14, archived)

sorry, i've just run out

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:30, archived)

Haggis is great.
A Scottish mate at university ordered one in specially for Burns Night that filled the entire oven. Big as a Christmas turkey, and didn't shirk on the pepper.
( .Yeti., Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:47, archived)

It's delicious.
Great in a cooked breakfast with fried eggs. Also great as haggis scotch eggs.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 20:07, archived)

Lol, Bums Night.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:56, archived)

Get yer tatties out for the lads.

( .Yeti., Sun 25 Jan 2026, 22:14, archived)

Neeps tassles

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:44, archived)

which do you prefer? Heroin or Offal?

(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:52, archived)

Heroin.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 20:06, archived)

fair
the great thing about heroin is it's not a gateway drug
other drugs can lead you on to harder drugs, but heroin users tend to stick with it
(piss and shit, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 20:24, archived)

Might bang up a load of fentanyl

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 20:27, archived)

Completely different. You clearly don't like heroin. People talk suck shit about smack .

( mongychops, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:22, archived)

TBF I've only ever chased it, and that was about 30 years ago.
No intention of doing it again.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:24, archived)

You don't have to do it again, but there is a fucking universal difference. You can do a bit of junk , even recreational

( mongychops, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:26, archived)

Yeah not interested.
Don't even smoke weed any more.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:38, archived)

Get your neeps out for the lads

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 19:57, archived)

I liked that time on QI when Fred Macauley talked about Address to a Haggis being translated to German
and "great Chieftan o' the puddin' race" came out as "mighty Führer of the sausage people"
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:01, archived)

That’s my Grindr profile info section

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 22:01, archived)

Egyptian revolution day, we don't talk about that anymore really tho. Can't discuss why on this SIM card

( mongychops, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 21:24, archived)

#MEGA

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 25 Jan 2026, 22:16, archived)

alright Roy Ackerman

(piss and shit, Mon 26 Jan 2026, 13:08, archived)