/board is deader than ever and atomic has gone full MAGA, otherwise much the same(, Wed 27 May 2026, 6:43, archived)
yeah, I guess we can't be 100% sure he's not just trolling, but he's gone method if he is(, Wed 27 May 2026, 9:00, archived)
Yes, I can see it! It's the b3ta.com talk board ...... specifically the "popular" page showing the most upvoted recent posts.
B3ta is a long-running British comedy/internet culture community.
The current top posts include a mix of classic b3ta-style nonsense:
A pun about a copper statue of Jimmy Shand ("Cu Jimmy")
A groan-worthy joke about balancing a croissant on train tracks ("a level croissant")
Some French nonsense involving a character called Jacob Dyer and Barnaby the Bear
A pixel-art emoji illustration
Various surreal one-liners and in-jokes between regulars like mongychops, Mr. Tea, Cheers, and The Porcupine From Purgatory
.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 21:46,
archived)
And let's hope it never deviates from this tried-and-tested formula.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 22:06,
archived)
I see you've missed off the best thing on there at the moment, mongy's god-tier absolute bodying of a poster who fully deserved it
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:07,
archived)
It's not me vlad, this is from Claude ai, who sees us, and who knows things about us that only a machine could understand In fact:
"There's also an archived post from 2008 that someone dug up, which is very much in the b3ta tradition of unearthing old forum gold.
The community seems to still be ticking along, if quietly — one post even notes
'it's nice that even tho nobody posts anymore the list gets longer.' 😄"
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:17,
archived)
Based on the site's archives, mr horrible has been active since at least 2005 and continues to post as recently as 2023. Their user tagline appears as "up yours, dickface" — a bit of irreverent self-description that fits the site's tone. They also display the badge "I helped save b3ta!", indicating they contributed during one of the site's fundraising efforts to keep it running.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:21,
archived)
MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP WHAT THE FUCKTHIS IS LITERALLY MY LAST REFUGE
I CAN'T FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:23,
archived)
RIGHT I want someone to come up with the online words equivalent of a dazzle paint job pleaseI want to be able to poke words into other people's eyes and brains but not into all the rest of it, I should be allowed to do this, I don't want my best most delicious wordspunks to be creamed off like this, it's not fair, internet is a place to share words with other humans, telling me you're going to stick your bits up my human words, fuck off, simple as. you've made words dull you're WORSE THAN PISTON
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:26,
archived)
wait. wait. wait. WHATIS WHAT I PUT HERE BEING FED INTO FUCKING CLAUDE? WHAT THE FUCK. NO. I DO NOT CONSENT. FUCK OFF CLAUDE. SHOVE IT UP YOUR COLD DEAD AISHOLE
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:22,
archived)
This. Is exactly. What he said. You'd say. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:34,
archived)
seriously, i wanted to know what that kind of ascii art is called specifically so I gave claude the link(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:39,
archived)
:((((( this is distressing I am very unhappy about all of thismany degrees worse than a burnt neck. fml
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 22:44,
archived)
it's cool, he made a little local web app for me so I can make those pictures by hand, it works like ms paintso I won't have to ask him again
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 23:01,
archived)
OK I've calmed down nowI hadn't quite understood that you were artisanally hand-feeding it in there, I thought it was some kind of gigantic, automated, all-points scrape. I'm sorry for shouting. You can do no wrong and I am obviously devoted to you
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 23:05,
archived)
Well obviously. I'm probably a lovely man with many endearing qualities.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 23:14,
archived)
...and in case you're seriously upset, all of this goes straight to google, you can google a post just minutes after making it. so giving a session-scope ai the link to /chat is probably redundant, it can just use google, it was just a shortcut to speed up the response.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 23:10,
archived)
Stealing 400 grand and then treating your wife to some 9ct gold jewellery is the most Scottish thing I've ever heard.www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg5pp2pee7go
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 11:24,
archived)
Using embezzled cash to buy a motorhome and a Jag...and Grand Theft Auto.
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 11:39, archived)
I dunno, my dad knew a bloke called Donald McDonald. He lived in Cardonald.That's 'pretty Scottish'.
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 11:40, archived)
It betrays a certain lack of imagination, that's for sure.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 12:17,
archived)
It's a shame this guy doesn't live in Keithuk.linkedin.com/in/keith-mckeith-8162ab141
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 12:32, archived)
I can beat that.I used to have a customer called Hamish McSporran
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 26 May 2026, 14:40,
archived)
I used to sleep in the kings cross railway sidings with Wee Jimmy McHeroin(, Tue 26 May 2026, 14:53, archived)
Spoke to one of my SNP lifer neighbours about him last night.Well, first thing she said when I walked past with the dog was "... and don't talk to me about Murrell!" but then she spoke about him anyway. As expected, she knew him since he was 18.
Same neighbour whose campervan was torched last year, terrifying experience for them and us, but I dun a lol when she herself said "what is it with the SNP and campervans?"
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 11:44, archived)
If I ask very very nicely would you dm me the specifics on this, I am prepared to be very grateful in payment
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 11:55,
archived)
I'm not a hack, just incredibly nosy on what real people really say
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 11:57,
archived)
She really didn't say anything other than that she can't believe he did it.Seems to be a lot of that going around in SNP circles.
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 12:03, archived)
Do you have any idea why your neighbour's campervan was torched?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 12:11,
archived)
Just opportunistic neds, it was prominent on the corner.They were never caught, as far as I know. Pretty sure it wasn't an inside job because they had Sturgeon's lesbian lover in it or anything.
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 12:16, archived)
It's been par for the course for terminally online headbanging ScotsNats to dismiss this sort of thing as an unfounded smear by the perfidious Sassenachs for years,but that explanation is rather scotched (so to speak) in this case by the fact he's admitted it.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 12:21,
archived)
Yes, I was amusing myself earlier by looking up some of the outrage when the tent went up.(, Tue 26 May 2026, 12:29, archived)
The SNP went from being a small operationto the government of Scotland in a very short time. They never went through the process of building governance over time, and they never got to make mistakes along the way and be forced to be transparent and accountable. The problem is, they've not suffered electorally from this so they won't be under pressure to face up to their issues.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 26 May 2026, 12:50,
archived)
Oh there were plenty of attempts at governance, it was just shut down by the clique at the top.(, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:04, archived)
I hear you but my theory is they all wear too many leggings(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:10,
archived)
That's to smother the fire in their pants BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL LIARS, SEE?(, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:13, archived)
do you think he bought lots of pairs of fancy leggings, bet he did, probably the kind that cost seventy-five pounds and are meant for yoga(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:29,
archived)
You seem to know an awful lot about it vladimir, or should I say NICOLA?!?(, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:31, archived)
GOD though doesn't it always seem so pathetic, in the end, what we all sell ourselves out for so cheaply. a handful of magic beans that aren't actually magic. a car, a few trinkets, the shiny nothings that weigh so very much less than all the stuff that actually has worth
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:32,
archived)
David People's first draft really was shit before Rutger Hauer changed it.(, Tue 26 May 2026, 13:37, archived)
I don't want to stir up any trouble, mongs, but I think he was talking specifically about you.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 14:12,
archived)
The world will be a better place when you've been tortured to death?(, Tue 26 May 2026, 15:22, archived)
"Gaz mongychops, for he is omniscient"(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 May 2026, 17:02,
archived)
A Jewish hippy who never had a proper job or got laid, and went around causing lots of trouble? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 17:24,
archived)
Now that's not quite fair.I don't recall Gonz causing any trouble or being much of a hippy.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 17:50,
archived)
Well like I said - he never caused any trouble.(Although he was always ready to KICK THE FUCK OFF if anyone dissed his Quean of Hart's, Lady Di.)
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 19:48,
archived)
The older she gets the more she looks like Mary from Rab C. Nesbit(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 26 May 2026, 15:53,
archived)
She pals about with Elaine C Smith all the time, could be worse, she could start looking like Val McDermid(, Tue 26 May 2026, 16:11, archived)
I'd go for a night on the tiles with those threeI bet they'd start with a bottle of Buckfast.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 26 May 2026, 16:14,
archived)
I'm quite sure they wouldn't, that's an odd stereotype to lunge for(, Tue 26 May 2026, 16:24, archived)
Did you know, McDermid comes from a working-class family in Fife.[1][2]
She studied English at St Hilda's College, Oxford,[3]
where she was the first student to be admitted from a Scottish state school.[4]
I didn't get this from wikipedia
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 26 May 2026, 17:45,
archived)
She studied English at St Hilda's College, that's where I, caught her, aye
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 18:35,
archived)
I said, pretend that you're not scottish, she laughed and said oh you're so comic, I said yeah well, I can't see anyone else from scotland here
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 18:38,
archived)
I always liked Frankie Boyle's Braveheart joke:"Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot, but look at him now. An alcoholic racist."
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 14:51, archived)
Trump's nothing like Hitler.There's no way he could write a book.
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 14:55, archived)
The Art of the Deal was ghostwrittenDunno if there are any others purportedly written by him, CBA to find out.
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 15:23, archived)
And Hitler's book in it's original form was unreadable. Till it was completely changed. (
mongychops, Tue 26 May 2026, 15:46,
archived)
It won't be what he wrote. His was the ramblings of a madman(
mongychops, Tue 26 May 2026, 16:35,
archived)
It's about time Hitler's ghost wrote Mein Kampf 2(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 26 May 2026, 17:58,
archived)
Fucking thing's not even in English, for a start.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 26 May 2026, 17:51,
archived)
there's no way I'll be able to find it but there was a fantasic long read by the ghost writer of that very book, mainly about what a cunt he is, as far as I can recall. Mind you that's a bit of a barrel-shoot, isn't it, as a theme
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 16:08,
archived)
well...that was a lot easier than I thought it would be
www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/25/donald-trumps-ghostwriter-tells-all
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 16:09,
archived)
OH LA DE DA NEIL, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?(
Octo I ruin everything., Tue 26 May 2026, 15:25,
archived)
going to imagine you and cheers as vikings having this chat, just casually planning a raid
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 9:58,
archived)
oh FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WRONG SITE AGAIN, WRONG SITEfml :(
(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 11:58,
archived)
Days like this I have to remember the pertinent lyrics of crocodile shoes by Jimmy NailWine, beer and spirits take me down
The lights are low and there's no one else around
The waitress sure looks pretty and that's a bad sign
I smile at her still yo're always on my mind
(
$$ ✅, Tue 26 May 2026, 10:30,
archived)
What is Jimmy Nail's favourite reptilian meat-based profiterole?Crocodile choux!
(, Tue 26 May 2026, 10:58, archived)
When a woman fell over in front of Jimmy Nail, what did he say?Aint no doubt it's plain to see, a woman like you has hurt your knee
(
Octo I ruin everything., Tue 26 May 2026, 10:59,
archived)
oh christ I've got it wrong again haven't I, what a mess(
vladimir, Tue 26 May 2026, 7:34,
archived)
what's the French for fiddledeedee?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 25 May 2026, 15:04,
archived)
Looks like you've got severe diaresis. You might want to go to the doctors.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 25 May 2026, 16:26,
archived)
JE SUIS UN GAY DÉBILE ET J'ADORE ME FAIRE ENFONCER LE CUL PAR D'AUTRES GAY DÉBILES(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 25 May 2026, 16:22,
archived)
Je m'appelle Jacob Dyer et j'habite en France. J'ai la voix de Barnaby l'Ours. J'aime bien Barnaby l'Ours. Une fois, il est allé à Bristol. Je suis allé à Bristol. Mais un gamin m'a brûlé le cou. Je n'ai pas aimé ça.(, Mon 25 May 2026, 16:26, archived)
they don't have a word for it, just like we don't have a word for those flaky buttery breakfast pastries the french eat. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 25 May 2026, 18:06,
archived)
Got a bit stuck with the puzzle I was doing this morning"Already flaky and past trying, first thing in the morning (9)" That's right...it was a croissant clue \o/
(
vladimir, Mon 25 May 2026, 18:35,
archived)
It took several hours but finally I was able to perfectly balance a flaky buttery breakfast pastry on some train tracks That’s right, it was a level croissant
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 25 May 2026, 18:50,
archived)
Their lack of whimsy prevents them from having one (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 25 May 2026, 18:35,
archived)
Être pirate, c'est tout ce que tu peux être.
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Mon 25 May 2026, 22:53,
archived)
b3ta/talk stop looking like the Other Sites challenge, day twelvestatus: fail
(
vladimir, Mon 25 May 2026, 10:53,
archived)
I really do think you need to calm down on the porn sites. (
mongychops, Mon 25 May 2026, 11:03,
archived)
They're a lot cheaper at Anne Summers (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 25 May 2026, 12:30,
archived)
Hullo bumstain'sBit of pub garden, bit of curry then early night for me I reckon. Can't even be arsed to break out the grill.
u
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 24 May 2026, 14:33,
archived)
I reckon I'm about 50% of the way to convincing my mrs that we need a £1k bbq (
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 24 May 2026, 15:21,
archived)
Given her domestic circumstances, I'd say she's lucky to get away with being merely minted, and not also infused with smoked garlic, chipotle chili flakes, and some obscure, poncy Middle Eastern herb blend none us plebs have even heard of.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 24 May 2026, 19:36,
archived)
I've just discovered baharat, is that of any use here?
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 20:23,
archived)
it's so good IT'S SO GOOD
like a warm breeze smacking you gently on the tongue
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 20:24,
archived)
if you haven't already...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berbere
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 24 May 2026, 20:34,
archived)
OH yesI make my own. true story!
that was actually my gateway drug fyi
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 21:01,
archived)
Nobody wants to hear about your fucking stupid fucking khat(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 24 May 2026, 22:18,
archived)
under your bed you got tissues tissues tissues(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 24 May 2026, 20:28,
archived)
Morning is hereby cancelled.Apologies for any inconvenience caused.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2026, 10:04,
archived)
Unrelated:https://i.ibb.co/pBBcbP1V/trek-title.png
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sun 24 May 2026, 10:13,
archived)
I genuinely still laugh out loud at the question mark then the fuck offone of the Great Works
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 11:12,
archived)
Sadly the original post seems to have vanished into the ether.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 24 May 2026, 11:57,
archived)
oh I think I have the text saved somewhere, brb I'll place it below for posterity if I can find it(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:06,
archived)
THIS IS NOT FOR THE INTERNETHELLO, INTERNET IS A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE CAN SHARE OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS AND CAN HAVE A LAUGH
TELLING US YOU'RE GOING TO PUT YOUR BITS IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND
FUCK OFF.
SIMPLE AS.
NOBODY ON THE INTERNET WANTS TO KNOW, KEEP IT TO THE GAZ BOX, I'VE MET YOU, YOU WERE NICE, AS WAS VODKACOKE, BUT I DON'T NEED THE INS OR THE OUTS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP, SUPPORT I CAN GIVE IF YOU BECOME UPSET OR ALL HELL BREAK'S LOOSE, I AM A CONSIDERATE CHAP, BUT KEEP YOUR PLAYTIME TO YOURSELF
SURE TELL US YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOUR LOT, THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, GREAT. I'M HAPPY, I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT KNOWING THE LAYERS OF THE OTHER STUFF, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE I'M NOT INTERESTED, YOU'RE LIKE PISTON BUT YOU'VE MADE SEX DULL, AT LEAST WE CAN LAUGH AT PISTON BECAUSE HE'S DULL AND LIES ABOUT HAVING SEX.
GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 21:40 archived)
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:18,
archived)
from the perspective of the twenty-fourth of May 2026, this is increasingly reading like a rather fascinating historical artifact revealing what the internet was considered to be by those alive at the time...I might go so far as to argue that the internet has evolved into a space with definitely a purpose, possibly even the main purpose, of telling everyone about how you are going to/are currently/have just put your bits in your girlfriend/somebody's else's girlfriend or that your girlfriend/somebody else's girlfriend/all other available genders are going to/are currently/have just put their bits in you
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:23,
archived)
Hang on, are you saying GMOS is no longer alive? :((
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 24 May 2026, 13:02,
archived)
I hope he's loving his absolute best life, he was a Star here(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 13:40,
archived)
I'd edit that typo but wth, stet. I want that for him too(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 13:44,
archived)
that's what I always tell the bishop when he Questions my Methods ;)(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 13:40,
archived)
I didn't say *which* god, mind you.It could well be one of those indescribably hideous, eldritch alien gods that H. P. Lovecraft wrote about, the sort that can send a strong-willed man permanently and incurably insane should he get just the merest glimpse of them.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 24 May 2026, 13:47,
archived)
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/98726/1779623385/b7efce0fab3832ff99cfd95b3fb3fd1b3120318503.jpg
(, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:50, archived)
The ever-relevant Bob Todd:b3ta.com/talk/5533516
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 24 May 2026, 13:06,
archived)
I got a jam rag in my pocket, and the other ones giving a high five (
mongychops, Sun 24 May 2026, 13:33,
archived)
-giving a high five +making a piss sign(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 24 May 2026, 13:50,
archived)
You're welcome :)(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 25 May 2026, 8:45,
archived)
GutentagMay your Sunday be full in the knowledge that someone, somewhere, is currently having the best sexual experience of their lives. Just not you.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Sun 24 May 2026, 10:41,
archived)
Octo, not you. Nobody complains when you have sex with them. They are already dead(
mongychops, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:36,
archived)
...also, horribly close to the bone? do I know you irl??(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:53,
archived)
so it's downhill all the way for them from here(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 24 May 2026, 12:07,
archived)
b3ta.com/search/talk?q=donkey+shit+is+like+horse+shit
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 23 May 2026, 23:54,
archived)
Watched the sunrise. Now I'm blind, I cannae seeibb.co/xSmjSmRk
(
mongychops, Sun 24 May 2026, 0:00,
archived)
Right now it's like some beautiful distant dream glowing just beyond the horizon, lighting up the sky, shit brownb3ta.com/talk/9000000
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 23 May 2026, 13:38,
archived)
just idly wondered about the previous digit and who was there and OH MY GOD LOOOOKb3ta.com/talk/8000000
(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 15:14,
archived)
I'll never make 9 million posts. Remember me, or not. Don't care I'll be dead (
mongychops, Sat 23 May 2026, 16:21,
archived)
also: "the ginger cunt" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAclassic beeta
(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 17:20,
archived)
Best day evar(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 23 May 2026, 19:23,
archived)
mind you, I got a new hobby for a few years.ask me how it went. ASK ME HOW IT FUCKING WENT
(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 20:04,
archived)
How it fucking went?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 23 May 2026, 20:09,
archived)
the Nazgûl come in many formsthat's what my learning boils down to
(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 20:40,
archived)
I don't feel I've learned anything at all from this(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 23 May 2026, 21:11,
archived)
I mean to be absolutely fair, my position is only very very mildly different to this(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 21:52,
archived)
Is it playing with model trains and Warhammers while having a crying, drunken wank? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 23 May 2026, 20:22,
archived)
Transhammers(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 23 May 2026, 21:08,
archived)
*twirls hair**blushes*
hi
*hand caught in hair*
*tries to untangle*
*situation escalates horribly*
*somehow falls completely over and into a bin*
(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 23:47,
archived)
*has spent the night in the bin*
*felt less awkward than getting out*
I like it in here
I might stay
(
vladimir, Sun 24 May 2026, 10:30,
archived)
been trying to place how I sung these two and finally got it. byker grove
(
vladimir, Sat 23 May 2026, 13:40,
archived)
Incorrect You have two options, one is Bodytalk by Imagination, the other is the vastly superior Dirty Cash by The Adventures of Stevie V
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 23 May 2026, 21:58,
archived)
Are you requesting a threadrush, in this heat?(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 23 May 2026, 15:20,
archived)
Demanding, one might say.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 23 May 2026, 16:04,
archived)
Oh for the haunting soundOf the flugelhorn. Paaaaarp!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 23 May 2026, 8:04,
archived)
alright g, any good far right rallies on the go today?(
broadsword, Sat 23 May 2026, 8:08,
archived)
Bit hot over there for marching innit? Hot here tbf, that's normal tho(
mongychops, Sat 23 May 2026, 8:25,
archived)
Pretty sure the far right love a bit of heat marching?Dunno just what I heard
(
broadsword, Sat 23 May 2026, 8:37,
archived)
Good moooooorning, You know me daddy snow,
Me goin' a play you,
Me lick your boom boom down
(
Octo I ruin everything., Sat 23 May 2026, 10:15,
archived)
You most certainly will not (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 23 May 2026, 10:44,
archived)
I wanna die right nowI'm Rob Base and I'm under the ground
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 23 May 2026, 10:57,
archived)
soon the candles will die- like tears in the rain or summat
Alt: g'night bummers
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:37,
archived)
Everything dies Entropy will always win in the end.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:50,
archived)
I used to do that self-tanning business but I was terrible at applying it. just looked all streaky with st. tropez always in creases
(
vladimir, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:57,
archived)
if you think this is bad, the first version I workshopped involved urban sprawl(
vladimir, Fri 22 May 2026, 23:03,
archived)
whisky, cider, spleef, pack of cheese and onion discos(
broadsword, Fri 22 May 2026, 21:40,
archived)
I'd be dissaponted if no one had done thatstrikeys are a bit of a dying art
(
broadsword, Sat 23 May 2026, 7:30,
archived)
Nothing I'm not hungry
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:18,
archived)
i had two wraps and now i don't want to movei can probably just about manage to crawl to the bedroom
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:31,
archived)
I weighed myself in occupational health last week I've lost 4 kilos and I'm not even trying. I just don't think I like Eating at night.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:48,
archived)
well donei don't think i can say the same. maybe if i stopped drinking beer.
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:51,
archived)
I'm menopausal So my body/brain/appetite/weight aren't exactly in my control, so I can't take credit for it. That being said, my pyjamas fell down last night.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 22 May 2026, 22:59,
archived)
before you know it you'll be on 8 wraps a day man(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 May 2026, 23:17,
archived)
(\_\_^__o
___ `-'/ `_/
'`--\______/ |
parp - / |
` . ' `-`/.------'\^-'
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 23 May 2026, 1:20,
archived)
I'd just like to report to the group that I read this earlier and howled like a wolf on a moonwashed hilltop for about five minuteswww.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/may/22/experience-found-baby-subway-now-26-year-old-son
Thank you for your attention to this matter
(
vladimir, Fri 22 May 2026, 16:58,
archived)
i'm his mum and so is my lesbian wife(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 22 May 2026, 20:36,
archived)
"howled like a wolf on a moonwashed hilltop"alright Mike Oldfield
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 22 May 2026, 17:17,
archived)
once on a hill stood a howling reader
howlyowdelowdowdelowdeyoh
(
vladimir, Fri 22 May 2026, 17:48,
archived)
they got upset, did they really need that?
nohdyohdohlodeyohdodearMEno
(
vladimir, Fri 22 May 2026, 17:50,
archived)
<s>m</s> lend(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 22 May 2026, 18:23,
archived)
I dunno man, I didn't find it *that* funny.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 May 2026, 17:26,
archived)
I mean, I had three wanks to the story but there were zero titters.(, Fri 22 May 2026, 18:57, archived)
I mean, I did, but I knew when to stop - it was around the same time everyone else did(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 May 2026, 23:11,
archived)
I'm the one who died, don't talk ill of me ok(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 May 2026, 23:12,
archived)
Two. Crikey...www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c04216r5n07o
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 May 2026, 13:40,
archived)
2/7 getting your balls caught in the gap between the door and the frame (
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 22 May 2026, 13:48,
archived)
Were those questions about German domestic policy (1933-45) and the relative proportions of the Caucasoid and Negroid cranium?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 May 2026, 14:09,
archived)
Ever read Himmler's Crusade?Strong recommend
www.penguin.co.uk/books/333736/himmlers-crusade-by-christopher-hale/9780553824278
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 May 2026, 14:42,
archived)
Yeah I saw you've got a proper heatwave . About time (
mongychops, Fri 22 May 2026, 11:05,
archived)
How about working inside, answering phones and emails, with people who smell?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 22 May 2026, 11:13,
archived)
Obviously not themselves or they’d do something about it.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 22 May 2026, 13:18,
archived)
It is pleasantly warm (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 22 May 2026, 11:09,
archived)
I had pheasant curry at the Glen Clova hotel after a walk last weekend, it was nice.There was a disclaimer in the menu that it may contain shot, but I didn't find any.
(, Fri 22 May 2026, 8:13, archived)
So you had pleasant pheasant, peasant?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 22 May 2026, 8:18,
archived)
Tragic to think there's only 12 breeding pairs of goths left in the wild.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2026, 9:04,
archived)
i am not breeding, so count me out(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 22 May 2026, 9:13,
archived)
You appear to be aflame. Congratulations. (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 22 May 2026, 8:37,
archived)
Wow. Bright in here.Candles!!!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 May 2026, 9:25,
archived)
Yay!- however, I'm always sad when the candles go out, and all these candley comments are left behind, looking silly
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 22 May 2026, 9:47,
archived)
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