eveeroneposirttinf an ouirr new holls shoukd be di==simnmilsyeed

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:20, archived)

(4,3)

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:24, archived)

piss, sht

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:38, archived)

disapointing wwasnk

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:46, archived)

Speak for yourself

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:34, archived)

I was standing alone in the gardon
When I felt the approach of a hardon
My pants made a tent
At the front was a vent
Where my helmit popped out and said "pardon?"
.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:36, archived)

This is fucking hilarious

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 15:03, archived)

^

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 15:08, archived)

Haiku?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:31, archived)

gesundheit

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:36, archived)

NO U

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:46, archived)

I was offered a ten bag of billy
To refuse it appeared to be silly
So I bought the wrapper
Wanged it down me japper
And now I have cance of the willy
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 17:52, archived)

I have cance of the willy
it smells like aged Caerphilly
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 19:25, archived)

Are you A) heavily intoxicated, B) having a stroke, or C) being a lolwaki cunt?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:57, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ABC_(band)
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 15:08, archived)

They sound well bent, m8.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 15:10, archived)

Camper than a row of rainbow RVs

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 15:38, archived)

robot vacuums
ragged vaginas
rape victims
(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:18, archived)

yes

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 20:44, archived)

honestly this has such strong TS Eliot energy I can't even
( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 22:32, archived)

pardon?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:16, archived)

i drank a litre of pimms and ate 2 vals so yes

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 12 Jul 2026, 3:20, archived)

Off to see Garbage at Edinburgh Castle later,
obviously they're shit and gay but I like them and I'm sure I'll enjoy it.

Got a freebie stay at my wife's aunt's brother's airB&B, 3-bedroom penthouse flat in central Edinburgh, it's fucking lush.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:03, archived)

uncle?

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:21, archived)

don't be perverse

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:27, archived)

what else am I supposed to do?

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:37, archived)

whatever the opposite of that is

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:45, archived)

sounds a bit boring ngl

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:54, archived)

yeah i thought that once i'd typed it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 17:23, archived)

No, her mum's brother's wife's brother.
We've never met the cunts, nice place though
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:35, archived)

'her uncle's brother in law'

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:40, archived)

her granny's son's sister's daughter's uncle's wife's sons' uncle

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 18:27, archived)

oh! why didn't you say so!

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 18:45, archived)

In the old days you didn't need to go to a busy city, you could find Penthouse in hedges almost everywhere

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:26, archived)

Hedgy porn

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:54, archived)

fuck you(r own hand) hedgey

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 16:55, archived)

Mrs Tuggiwinkle

( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 18:19, archived)

Ahahaha, that is actually brilliant.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 18:56, archived)

Innit doe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 19:23, archived)

I'd say I was ashamed of how much I laughed but it simply wouldn't be true

( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 19:37, archived)

Dermot Murgghhhn.....aargghh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 12:27, archived)

De mort

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 12:27, archived)

Is that the authentic Gaelic spelling?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 12:32, archived)

Yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 12:34, archived)

Gae-lic, lolololol.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 13:22, archived)

alright 'Ali G'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:09, archived)

*annoying finger-slap gesture*
Aaaiigh!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:55, archived)

stop i'm going through customs

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:09, archived)

Do you say
Galic or Gaylic

LOL gay
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:28, archived)

Gallick is Scots, Gaylick is Irish
hth
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 15:42, archived)

What about Garlic?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 18:56, archived)

shit!

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 13:31, archived)

and piss

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:04, archived)

Dermot MOURNahan

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 13:33, archived)

Deadheads

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:04, archived)

I know :(

( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:23, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 6:55, archived)

Already?
*blink blink*
( fross Read your email on, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 7:25, archived)

what would you like for breakfast, fross?

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:23, archived)

you missed breakfast so now it's only the lunch menu
bollock cysts with creamy sauce

or nose polyps pie with avocado if ur 'ard enuff
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:05, archived)

Damnit
Is that creamy sauce homemade or store bought?
( fross Read your email on, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:19, archived)

deppends how i'm feeliing
rite now i'm feelking quite drunk
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:43, archived)

Oh what a beautiful morning
Oh what a beautiful day
I got a beautiful feeling
U r all gay
( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 7:44, archived)

evereyone is gay on the inside if thir bumholes
i once put my thumb in a girls bum during sex

it didn't go up well. came out fine tho.

i got the impression she wans't into that. HOIW WAS I SUPPOSED TO know,]]


also, smell my finger
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:12, archived)

There's a frog living in my shoe.

( mongychops, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 8:02, archived)

Hope it is at least paying rent.

( Octo I ruin everything., Sat 11 Jul 2026, 8:25, archived)

If it's eating flying cunts it can stay. Too many of those. The geckos have lost all control.

( mongychops, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 8:33, archived)

One got in my house last year. Surprisingly fast little feckers.

( Octo I ruin everything., Sat 11 Jul 2026, 8:36, archived)

Not a patch on skinks, those guys.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 8:49, archived)

i always wanted a pet blue tongued skink
i ended up settling for a monitor lizard.
and a python.
and two boas.

now i just have semi-tame wild pets, which is better, i think. free to roam.
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:25, archived)

you have head lice

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 11:36, archived)

-head +pubic

(piss and shit, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 12:09, archived)

no i have friendly birds i;vbe workeed withb foir3 yeatrs

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:16, archived)

Eventually mongy would come to regret his former use of skinks in times of moderation uncertainty

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:58, archived)

Of course there is, it's open-toed

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 8:57, archived)

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 9:01, archived)

Fucking hell mate, get some help.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 9:04, archived)

He'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Jul 2026, 9:48, archived)

\o/
:))))
( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 9:49, archived)

it's okay, he's got anura one!

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:14, archived)

I just woke up, and this.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:58, archived)

your num tajking akkntyhjen cred

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 14:18, archived)

Hooray

( broadsword, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 11:34, archived)

small frog living in the shoe I dropped
take these broken legs and learn to hop
( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 9:55, archived)

don't step on my blue frogged shoes

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:04, archived)

Everybody needs a place to rest
Everybody wants to have a home
Don't make no difference what nobody says
Ain't nofroggy like to be alone
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your footwear coz that's what we do
Everybody's got a frog living in their shoe
( vladimir, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 10:35, archived)

hullo. i'm new. how does this work?

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 23:39, archived)

no it's full

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 23:50, archived)

tell ur bf to stop bumming u then lol

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 23:58, archived)

TEN DOLLARS

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:26, archived)

*pays without question*

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:27, archived)

I see we've met before

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:28, archived)

thank you for your service

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:28, archived)

It's what I do, 8 hours a day

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:37, archived)

whilst i obviously appreciate it i do have a restraining order

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:51, archived)

I'll do it for 9

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:52, archived)

you just can't make me feel the things he can
wait, 9 hours? i was thinking about price. 10 dorrah 9 hours. dealz
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:56, archived)

I PAID TEN DOLLARS AND I WILL FINISH THANK YOU

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:52, archived)

no, thank you

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:59, archived)

TEN DOLLARS NOW

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:25, archived)

What makes you think it works?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:10, archived)

TEN DOLLARS

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:26, archived)

i want to be your sex pigeon
again
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 1:41, archived)

it;h wersfi,g a ,hi,v\iz

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:26, archived)

TWENTY

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:27, archived)

now i feel like i should ask a question

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:28, archived)

how long is a geronimo's mo?

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:30, archived)

11p

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:30, archived)

correct! for both questions!

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:31, archived)

(in old money)

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:53, archived)

(in old honey wouchers)

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 0:57, archived)

Hi spacker's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 15:38, archived)

I need a shit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 15:39, archived)

I've got one, you can have that

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 15:39, archived)

You're a real pal

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 15:47, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8479921
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:42, archived)

no

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:51, archived)

yes

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 18:01, archived)

Personal Arse Licker?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 17:41, archived)

Don't mind if I do

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 18:18, archived)

Reach out and touch taint

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 21:06, archived)

Holding Out for A Shit
By Jobbie Tyler
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 17:38, archived)

written by Jim Stainman

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 21:13, archived)

Have you heard the 'funk til you spunk' album
My favourite song is 'spacker'
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 10 Jul 2026, 15:47, archived)

'Faecal Miasma' is my favourite

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 15:50, archived)

Fucking hell
Anne Widdecombe was murdered to death!!!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:03, archived)

that was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:04, archived)

You are Anne Widdecombe ??
From beyond the grave?!?!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:05, archived)

Yep
Mental or what

Fancy a go on my spooky minge?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:07, archived)

I’ll join the queue
They’re calling it the ghost fuck train and it’s dripping with nazi ectoplasm
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:09, archived)

hhhnnnng I'm gonna Widdecum

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:23, archived)

ghost rider
It's free joint friday too, purple ombré cake today
and i didn't put that poncey accent over the e, it was autofrenched
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 16:50, archived)

BALLSWEAT

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 17:04, archived)

Anthony Dropped-kins

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 19:10, archived)

-kins +Beats

(piss and shit, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 19:13, archived)

AInthony Slopkins

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 19:13, archived)

NONONONONONONONONO

( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 20:50, archived)

alright Ray Slijngaard

(piss and shit, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 21:13, archived)

Anthony 'Not Fucking Dead But Has Just Released An Album' Hopkins

( .Yeti., Fri 10 Jul 2026, 20:53, archived)

Try a bit harder plz yetso

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 22:18, archived)

For this place? Not frickin' likely.

( .Yeti., Fri 10 Jul 2026, 22:52, archived)

Four / seven so pretty darned good show
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2wzdznqgpo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:56, archived)

1/7 urge to beaker rising

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:59, archived)

Turtle power!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 11:10, archived)

55/3 gnome with a hardon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 11:00, archived)

glitching here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 14:06, archived)

2/7, GUNTSTENCH

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 11:18, archived)

1/7 stick shit up your turd in some sort of shitty turducken

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 12:15, archived)

turshitten

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 12:19, archived)

4/7 It's a girl!

(piss and shit, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:14, archived)

What is?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:17, archived)

no what's on second

(piss and shit, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:21, archived)

I was over under

( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:54, archived)

A heat source used for cooking

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:29, archived)

5/7 podka dots

( broadsword, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:43, archived)

2/7 Bernard Cribbins anal gape video

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:58, archived)

Michael Bentine's Potty Time

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 14:02, archived)

7/7
- London Bombings
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 18:17, archived)

omb umm
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 18:30, archived)

Anne Deaddicombe

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:12, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:14, archived)

Michael Elphick's backside scrambles to 'manufacture' oar without you
or something
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:25, archived)

Channel islands cop buys half a round at the bottom

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:38, archived)

Ah yes, good old Lovejoy Semicircleanus.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 14:35, archived)

gooch gouda

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:17, archived)

KNOBSTENCH

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:27, archived)

Fumbled bonk on way to get tattoo leads to male hygiene problem. (9)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 8:00, archived)

An hour and no guesses, you should maybe give a clue
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:00, archived)

I got that it starts with knob (“fumbled bonk”)
but then I got bored and didn’t go any further.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:50, archived)

OH
that's the bit I couldn't get, well done
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 11:48, archived)

Tangled meat is about right for a wrestler and actor, we hear (2, 3)

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:03, archived)

Cryptic crosswords are stoopid

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:04, archived)

I'd honestly rather get dementia

( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:05, archived)

alright Paul Gambaccini

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:14, archived)

GOD he sets my teeth on edge

( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:17, archived)

sorry Paul :/

( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:17, archived)

It's OK, he won't remember.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:20, archived)

pfffff guilty laugh
If you're reading this and think I'm being awful, I literally will develop it myself, so Paul will have the last laugh
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 11:47, archived)

Although with dementia you might find yourself reverting to old routines, living in the past to try to make sense of the world

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:24, archived)

wait do I have it already
yesss get innnn
( vladimir, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 11:49, archived)

Cryptic crosswords I
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:18, archived)

MR TEA! :D

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:18, archived)

If you keep doing these, I'll have CROSS WORDS with you!!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:59, archived)

OK, but the problem with 'KNOBSTINK' is that it's not a word.

( .Yeti., Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:43, archived)

It totally is, you massive knobstink.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 10:47, archived)

knobSINK
amr?
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 12:46, archived)

Let that knobsink in.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Jul 2026, 14:25, archived)

MORNING

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 0:01, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 0:05, archived)

YOU WOULD SAY THAT

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 0:08, archived)

Alright

( mongychops, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 4:52, archived)

Anne WiddeGONE

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 6:36, archived)

Man, she was a hot piece of ass. So sad

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 6:37, archived)

Anne Wouldhavecomebutimdead

( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 10 Jul 2026, 7:03, archived)

Appeared on Strictly and then died, ominous precedent for Josh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 7:53, archived)

How many letters?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 8:06, archived)

R.I.P.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 14:05, archived)

Anne Catacombe

( $$ ✅, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 8:12, archived)

heh

( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 10 Jul 2026, 9:07, archived)

Ello

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 7:18, archived)

morninġ

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 8:19, archived)

*wipes phone screen*
oh
(piss and shit, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 13:20, archived)

afternoon

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 14:14, archived)

word of the day: friedelite

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 14:30, archived)

+ Every now and then I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming 'round

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 14:36, archived)

I reckon for many brits of a certain age, the phrase "bright eyes" is only ever going to evoke that kid in the rabbit suit on TISWAS

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 15:55, archived)

Conor oBURST

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 18:37, archived)

"I'm a professional daydreamer" - Conor Oberst PD

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 19:13, archived)

bright japs
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:35, archived)

Every now and then I fall apart
-Every -and then
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 16:00, archived)

I'm cool mate. Got 20 more days in Thailand. Then off. Nam again I think

( mongychops, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 19:41, archived)

nice

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 20:46, archived)

The islands at the southern tip of Nam look amazing
Lol tip
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:36, archived)

PAUL. FRANCIS. GADD.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 20:33, archived)

AKA 'The PFG'.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 20:34, archived)

Still has a gang, apparently
Listen to Gary Glitter on Spotify. Artist · 582.5K monthly listeners.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 20:47, archived)

also, having just looked at a fairly recent photo - if you're going to draw your own eyebrows on, why would you go for "cartoon villain"?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 20:54, archived)

It's almost as if young children find them fascinating

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:00, archived)

Dastardly Dick

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:33, archived)

"I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for my meddling with kids"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:35, archived)

I remember when that pervy Olympic gymnastics coach (or one of them, anyway, there have probably been loads)
got jailed for noncery, and some wag came up with "And I'd have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those medalling kids!"
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:40, archived)

I laughed at this, I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:59, archived)

That was me m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:52, archived)

Who's worse: Queen, or The Eagles?
Both are instant skip, but who's worse and WHY??
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 21:51, archived)

Eagles,
because it's mainly just the one song so it's like jabbing at the same nerve over and over,
and that one song is not just dull and seemingly fucking endless,
it is an actual genuine example of COD REGGAE
and is therefore basically a vile aural insult to pretty much every person on the planet.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:06, archived)

Also: you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:07, archived)

I like Queen, and I quite like the Eagles.
Shove your opinion up your arse and listen to Trent Reznor's opinion of both bands, you tiresome judgemenal wanker.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:16, archived)

everyone likes eagles m8, the're majestic as fuck. just like queens.
dunno what he's on about.
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:22, archived)

The Queegles: idea for a kids' movie franchise
Little toothy fellas who ride horses and go on about cowboys, yes AI but tastefully done yeah, none of your slop.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:32, archived)

the queegles of balmoral common are we

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:50, archived)

Poor Andy

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:12, archived)

worse than wombles :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:23, archived)

uncle andrewbia

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:24, archived)

I think he prefers Mountbatten-Windsor

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:26, archived)

Trent Reznor covered Queen pal, not so sure he went near Don Henley.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 22:34, archived)

Freddie Mercury was quite vociferous about fucking the devil in the back of his car

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:13, archived)

I don't recall that video

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:16, archived)

You do, he wore a mini skirt and Trent Reznor played with the hoover pipe

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 23:27, archived)

-with

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 0:07, archived)

+hide the sausage in

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 0:09, archived)

+then set it to "blow"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 2:16, archived)

ah, the mega maid

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 10 Jul 2026, 5:07, archived)

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:26, archived)

Bonnie's blue

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:27, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8474202
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:50, archived)

Turn around bonnie. 😭

( mongychops, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:53, archived)

alright mongy, how's it going

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:09, archived)

Gonnie Tyler

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:09, archived)

Gaynoff Hopkins

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:37, archived)

Colding out for a Zero

( $$ ✅, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:51, archived)

Bonnie Dieler

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:51, archived)

NOT SO FUCKING BONNIE Tyler

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 12:24, archived)

👍🏻

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 12:45, archived)

Clocking Out for a Hero

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 12:43, archived)

Bonnet Styler

( Octo I ruin everything., Thu 9 Jul 2026, 14:09, archived)

morning
Alt: wake up MiseryCunt
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:10, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:55, archived)

You absolute roaster

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:56, archived)

Morning Invizard.
'Ladder-owning colourist had Gallic misadventure.' (5, 4)
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jul 2026, 7:47, archived)

It has just occurred to me that I always thought the line in the Wombling Song was
"The Wombles of Wimbledon, common are we"

and I've only just realised that it's "Wimbledon Common", not that the Wombles themselves are common. Which one of you is Mike Batt, I need to have a word.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 8:47, archived)

I thought that too!
Does it mean 'common' as in 'numerous', do you think? Or in the sense of working class?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:34, archived)

I always assumed numerous, wouldn't have known the working class meaning when I was a small child.
But no, lyrics sites confirm it's capitalised so it's Wimbledon Common the place. I'm sure Batt made it intentionally ambiguous to confuse children, if I ever get my hands on him I swear down I'll do time.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:38, archived)

Nonetheless, you were presumably aware that some of the kids at your school said "haitch" instead of "aitch" and lived in a house that smelled of cheap biscuits and unwashed dog.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jul 2026, 13:40, archived)

I wanna Womble like common people
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:36, archived)

i wanna fuck you like a womble

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:39, archived)

You are the perfect womble

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:41, archived)

She has the blood of womble just underneath her skin.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:46, archived)

It's the eye of the womble, it's the thrill of the fight

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:14, archived)

You and me baby ain't nothing but wombles
So let's do it like they do when they're dicovered on the commonbles
( vladimir, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 16:26, archived)

o when they're dicovered on the commonbles id in Belfast during The Trombles
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 9 Jul 2026, 16:54, archived)

ahahahahaha

( vladimir, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 17:22, archived)

been up since 0515 m8

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:39, archived)

Hullo

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:44, archived)

Bonnie DIEler

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:10, archived)

Total obstruction of the intestine

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 10:22, archived)

GOOD EVENING MY SMELLY LITTLE SAUSAGE WILLIES

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:44, archived)

too many adjectives you fucking stupid adjective cunt

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:49, archived)

right, i'm going to bed
then having a shower then going to bed again

good night. i'd like an alarm call please, and some nouns.
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 0:03, archived)

sponge

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:08, archived)

dynamo

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:08, archived)

fulsomeness

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

Japan

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

can't think of any more
- soz
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

thanks

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:40, archived)

How many willies do you have?

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:43, archived)

prix!

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 16:19, archived)

Grand

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 17:53, archived)

Sharp individual fundamentally wealthy but a counterfeit member with no heart, propping up the saloon (8,7)

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:03, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:07, archived)

indeed

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:08, archived)

Just going by the letters, because fuck trying to work out whatever the fuck that shit is

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:08, archived)

Lazy cheating fecker

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:22, archived)

I reckon you asked Semen Khaidanko

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:22, archived)

Charged him 20 DOLLARS
You, I charge 10.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:25, archived)

Do you accept BITCON

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 0:35, archived)

this is worse than all the limerick threads

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:12, archived)

Go and read one of those 'GUNTSTENCH' posts as many times as it takes for your urge to beaker to subside.

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:21, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8479777
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:32, archived)

At least the limerick threads were an attempt at humour

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:42, archived)

True
I forget sometimes that this message board can only be used for SERIOUS INTERNET™️
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:44, archived)

GUNTSTENCH, I mean

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:45, archived)

I think you *actually* mean MINGEWHIFF m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:08, archived)

Then how about, cryptic limericks, cryptericks
with a concealed backwards joke in them
I'm sorry I've written a crypterick with a concealed backwards joke in it
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:24, archived)

Queef's "there was an old man with a beard" is still genuinely funny to me

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:30, archived)

MINGEWHIFF

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:24, archived)

Can I say Hitler?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:27, archived)

no

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:40, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:25, archived)

-s

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:35, archived)

'Computer-literate penis in pussy? That's a feminine delicacy.' (4-9)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:52, archived)

My brain just doesn't work in this manner
Strikey in this manner, well done
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:48, archived)

-work in this manner +exist

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:17, archived)

I've not got anywhere with this one yet; I suspect I'm out of practice.
I've been doing the current Private Eye crossword this afternoon and I've solved only eight clues so far.
( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 18:00, archived)

tech- something ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 18:29, archived)

Nope.
Think abbreviations.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 19:02, archived)

Just checked
I thought you were trying to complete this month's viz craptic crossword. But no, these are new clues.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 18:31, archived)

I had to email the QA manager because I couldn't get past the second step of the Customer Feedback wizard on QPulse,
and I didn't even think to include the YOU CANNOT PASS Gandalf meme, I am ashamed of myself
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 19:56, archived)

It's alright, Porky.
If it makes you feel any better, we're ashamed of yourself, too.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:46, archived)

Cunt-Camembert
although i'm reading "computer literate" as "cunt", could equally be cock i guess
or dick
camembert is right tho
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:14, archived)

C(omputer) lit(erate)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:44, archived)

ah, ok, now what about
b3ta.com/talk/8479743
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:56, archived)

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit stupid.
I blame the heat.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:50, archived)

bollocks
Two of a kind = a pair (as in, "grow a pair")
looping throw = lob, back = bol, match for quays and keys = locks
bollocks
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:00, archived)

Ahh, very clever.
Although is a lock really something associated with quays? Canals, yeah, sure. But I don't know about quays.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:16, archived)

Well, they're in the same sentence, doesn't that count for something?
man-made water-craft-based amenities, i rest my case
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:17, archived)

Yes, and 'penis in pussy' is clearly CATFUCKER

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:18, archived)

ca(member)t

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:45, archived)

'Queef's delight: French beauty dropping ecstasy with Stilton.' (10)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 13:55, archived)

More of this sort of things.
The clues, that is.
( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:40, archived)

I'll write you another one once somebody solves this one.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:41, archived)

*sigh*
belle - e = bell + stilton = bellcheese
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:13, archived)

Excellent.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:14, archived)

Weapon missing the end of a widow (8)

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:21, archived)

Sorry, I can only solve them if they involve poor genital hygiene.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:59, archived)

Gun + Twankey - ey = GUNTWANK

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:26, archived)

Two of a kind, looping throwback, with match for quays and keys. (8)
bonus link, not a clue
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:22, archived)

no takers?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:09, archived)

eat + dog + anus = eatdoganus

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:20, archived)

eatdoganus

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:40, archived)

GUFFCHEESE

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:42, archived)

Ah yes, 'guffe', the French word for beauty.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:42, archived)

None of your foreign muck, thanks

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:43, archived)

There's a tennis player called Coco Gauffe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:11, archived)

I'd rather have a bowl of

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:48, archived)

Virginia Guffe was pimped out to Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor by Jeffrey Epstein

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:13, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:53, archived)

Ghislaine Maxwell has a cute puppy in her comfy room but she is still sad, who will help her?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:06, archived)

I don't come here to fucking think

(piss and shit, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:23, archived)

don't come here to
th st
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:08, archived)

Well you're missing out then because there's a lot of really thinky thoughty stuff on this forum

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:10, archived)

thi wa
( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:23, archived)

was forum

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:24, archived)

THEN WHO WAS FORUM?

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:47, archived)

I've never got into crosswords, which surprises me as I'd have thought they'd be right up my street.
I just can't be fucking bothered with them.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:46, archived)

My grandmother used to complete the Times one every day
Apparently when you get to know how the question setters' minds work it gets easier

But yeah cba either
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:54, archived)

Yeah, my mum says that. Why waste my life on that?
My mum, I mean.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:55, archived)

I like word games and logic games, but sometimes I look at them and just don't want to give myself a made-up problem to solve
just don't want to give myself a made-up problem to solve they're too difficult
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:06, archived)

like my mum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:11, archived)

I sure do m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:12, archived)

That's not what I heard.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:33, archived)

I notice you're inserting your mum into everything, instead of

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:48, archived)

Im usless at the cryptic ones

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:10, archived)

like my mum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:11, archived)

We all like your mum m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:06, archived)

Do wot m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:50, archived)

SMEGGYSMEG

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:06, archived)

That's the next one not this one, all you're doing is proving you're clairvoyant, no one is impressed.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:15, archived)

BABYBELEND
Queef, Mr Tea just called you a nonce
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:21, archived)

Morning
I may try to get back to sleep. But it’s really lovely watching the sun come up…
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 5:14, archived)

oh sorry i didn't see this
naturally my morning has committed seppuku
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

i watch the sun come up every day. then i close the blackouts and skulk around like gollum for the rest of the day

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:15, archived)

Alright Andy Serkis

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:14, archived)

Well I didn’t want to say anything
I’m about to put a second load of laundry out then I’ll cycle into work. Will be jolly tired tonight.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:18, archived)

ah. cycling. i've cycled some cycles in my time.
100km in the pouring rain. ahhh. cycling.
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:45, archived)

that reminds me to set up the turbo trainer
i am a bit unfit atm. *wobbles*
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:47, archived)

<s>cycling.</s> time to die

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 12:36, archived)

Bladecycler

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:11, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 7:36, archived)

Hiyas

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:41, archived)

Hello everyone
May your day be blessed with multiple sweaty patches in inconvenient places.
( Octo I ruin everything., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:36, archived)

Waaaayyyyyy ahead of you

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:41, archived)

Newport Pagnell

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:54, archived)

One of the funds in my pension has done 35% growth since 1st Jan. Nice work.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 10:55, archived)

*penis joke*

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 10:58, archived)

LOL WILLIES!!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:06, archived)

I think he prefers to be called Nigel Farage

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:45, archived)

'work'

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:11, archived)

As far as I am concerned, it’s just a waste of time dealing with them. They are liars.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:11, archived)

/links, you mean

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:48, archived)

"There is something wrong with them. They are cuckoo", no I think it's about birds this time

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 13:32, archived)

morning.

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 12:06, archived)

Hi Will

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 12:11, archived)

🎚️

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 13:33, archived)

Can you guys help me out with today's Guardian cryptic crossword? I'm stuck on 6 across.
'Privates "lack right fish pong."' (10)
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jul 2026, 20:35, archived)

well it's certainly making me cross

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:29, archived)

PRIVATIONS

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:31, archived)

The BreakdownThe Definition: "lack" (privations are states of lacking basic necessities).

The Wordplay:"Privates" tells you to use the word PRIVATES."lack right" is a deletion indicator telling you to remove the letter R (the abbreviation for "right"), leaving you with PRIVATES - R = PVATES.

"pong" provides the remaining letters. A "pong" is a bad smell, or an ODOR (4 letters)."fish" acts as the anagram indicator (meaning to "fish around" or scramble the letters).

If you take PVATES and combine it with ODOR ("pong"), you get the 10 letters: P, V, A, T, E, S, O, D, O, R. Scrambling ("fish") those letters spells PRIVATIONS.
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:31, archived)

you fucking stupid fucking cunt

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:35, archived)

*belms*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:48, archived)

there was billions and billions of ultra smart technology behind that answer

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:57, archived)

GUNTSTENCH

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:53, archived)

oh my god that's amazing. what are you?

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:58, archived)

Private slack = GUNT, right fish pong = sTENCH

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:59, archived)

i take my kaks off to you

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:02, archived)

Privates = grunts, -r = gunts, + tench = guntstench

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:14, archived)

Well yes, to be fair I just thought of my favourite 10 letter word and worked backwards.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:17, archived)

guntstench = tench + gunts, = +r, grunts = Privates
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:22, archived)

Private tench grunts, +rrrr

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:27, archived)

fucksake

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:29, archived)

Is the correct answer with the correct reasoning.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:34, archived)

👍🏻

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:06, archived)