GOOD EVENING MY SMELLY LITTLE SAUSAGE WILLIES

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:44, archived)

too many adjectives you fucking stupid adjective cunt

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:49, archived)

right, i'm going to bed
then having a shower then going to bed again

good night. i'd like an alarm call please, and some nouns.
( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 0:03, archived)

sponge

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:08, archived)

dynamo

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:08, archived)

fulsomeness

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

Japan

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

can't think of any more
- soz
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

thanks

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 9:40, archived)

How many willies do you have?

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 11:43, archived)

prix!

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 16:19, archived)

Grand

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 17:53, archived)

Sharp individual fundamentally wealthy but a counterfeit member with no heart, propping up the saloon (8,7)

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:03, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:07, archived)

indeed

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:08, archived)

Just going by the letters, because fuck trying to work out whatever the fuck that shit is

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:08, archived)

Lazy cheating fecker

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:22, archived)

I reckon you asked Semen Khaidanko

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:22, archived)

Charged him 20 DOLLARS
You, I charge 10.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:25, archived)

Do you accept BITCON

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 0:35, archived)

this is worse than all the limerick threads

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:12, archived)

Go and read one of those 'GUNTSTENCH' posts as many times as it takes for your urge to beaker to subside.

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:21, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8479777
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:32, archived)

At least the limerick threads were an attempt at humour

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:42, archived)

True
I forget sometimes that this message board can only be used for SERIOUS INTERNET™️
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:44, archived)

GUNTSTENCH, I mean

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:45, archived)

I think you *actually* mean MINGEWHIFF m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:08, archived)

Then how about, cryptic limericks, cryptericks
with a concealed backwards joke in them
I'm sorry I've written a crypterick with a concealed backwards joke in it
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:24, archived)

Queef's "there was an old man with a beard" is still genuinely funny to me

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:30, archived)

MINGEWHIFF

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:24, archived)

Can I say Hitler?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:27, archived)

no

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:40, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:25, archived)

-s

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 23:35, archived)

'Computer-literate penis in pussy? That's a feminine delicacy.' (4-9)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:52, archived)

My brain just doesn't work in this manner
Strikey in this manner, well done
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:48, archived)

-work in this manner +exist

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:17, archived)

I've not got anywhere with this one yet; I suspect I'm out of practice.
I've been doing the current Private Eye crossword this afternoon and I've solved only eight clues so far.
( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 18:00, archived)

tech- something ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 18:29, archived)

Nope.
Think abbreviations.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 19:02, archived)

Just checked
I thought you were trying to complete this month's viz craptic crossword. But no, these are new clues.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 18:31, archived)

I had to email the QA manager because I couldn't get past the second step of the Customer Feedback wizard on QPulse,
and I didn't even think to include the YOU CANNOT PASS Gandalf meme, I am ashamed of myself
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 19:56, archived)

It's alright, Porky.
If it makes you feel any better, we're ashamed of yourself, too.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:46, archived)

Cunt-Camembert
although i'm reading "computer literate" as "cunt", could equally be cock i guess
or dick
camembert is right tho
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:14, archived)

C(omputer) lit(erate)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:44, archived)

ah, ok, now what about
b3ta.com/talk/8479743
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:56, archived)

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit stupid.
I blame the heat.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:50, archived)

bollocks
Two of a kind = a pair (as in, "grow a pair")
looping throw = lob, back = bol, match for quays and keys = locks
bollocks
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:00, archived)

Ahh, very clever.
Although is a lock really something associated with quays? Canals, yeah, sure. But I don't know about quays.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:16, archived)

Well, they're in the same sentence, doesn't that count for something?
man-made water-craft-based amenities, i rest my case
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:17, archived)

Yes, and 'penis in pussy' is clearly CATFUCKER

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:18, archived)

ca(member)t

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:45, archived)

'Queef's delight: French beauty dropping ecstasy with Stilton.' (10)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 13:55, archived)

More of this sort of things.
The clues, that is.
( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:40, archived)

I'll write you another one once somebody solves this one.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:41, archived)

*sigh*
belle - e = bell + stilton = bellcheese
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:13, archived)

Excellent.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:14, archived)

Weapon missing the end of a widow (8)

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:21, archived)

Sorry, I can only solve them if they involve poor genital hygiene.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:59, archived)

Gun + Twankey - ey = GUNTWANK

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:26, archived)

Two of a kind, looping throwback, with match for quays and keys. (8)
bonus link, not a clue
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:22, archived)

no takers?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 20:09, archived)

eat + dog + anus = eatdoganus

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:20, archived)

eatdoganus

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:40, archived)

GUFFCHEESE

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:42, archived)

Ah yes, 'guffe', the French word for beauty.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:42, archived)

None of your foreign muck, thanks

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:43, archived)

There's a tennis player called Coco Gauffe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:11, archived)

I'd rather have a bowl of

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:48, archived)

Virginia Guffe was pimped out to Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor by Jeffrey Epstein

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:13, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:53, archived)

Ghislaine Maxwell has a cute puppy in her comfy room but she is still sad, who will help her?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:06, archived)

I don't come here to fucking think

(piss and shit, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:23, archived)

don't come here to
th st
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:08, archived)

Well you're missing out then because there's a lot of really thinky thoughty stuff on this forum

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:10, archived)

thi wa
( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:23, archived)

was forum

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:24, archived)

THEN WHO WAS FORUM?

( .Yeti., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:47, archived)

I've never got into crosswords, which surprises me as I'd have thought they'd be right up my street.
I just can't be fucking bothered with them.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:46, archived)

My grandmother used to complete the Times one every day
Apparently when you get to know how the question setters' minds work it gets easier

But yeah cba either
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:54, archived)

Yeah, my mum says that. Why waste my life on that?
My mum, I mean.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:55, archived)

I like word games and logic games, but sometimes I look at them and just don't want to give myself a made-up problem to solve
just don't want to give myself a made-up problem to solve they're too difficult
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:06, archived)

like my mum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:11, archived)

I sure do m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:12, archived)

That's not what I heard.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:33, archived)

I notice you're inserting your mum into everything, instead of

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:48, archived)

Im usless at the cryptic ones

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:10, archived)

like my mum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:11, archived)

We all like your mum m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:06, archived)

Do wot m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 15:50, archived)

SMEGGYSMEG

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:06, archived)

That's the next one not this one, all you're doing is proving you're clairvoyant, no one is impressed.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 16:15, archived)

BABYBELEND
Queef, Mr Tea just called you a nonce
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 21:21, archived)

Morning
I may try to get back to sleep. But it’s really lovely watching the sun come up…
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 5:14, archived)

oh sorry i didn't see this
naturally my morning has committed seppuku
( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:09, archived)

i watch the sun come up every day. then i close the blackouts and skulk around like gollum for the rest of the day

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:15, archived)

Alright Andy Serkis

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:14, archived)

Well I didn’t want to say anything
I’m about to put a second load of laundry out then I’ll cycle into work. Will be jolly tired tonight.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:18, archived)

ah. cycling. i've cycled some cycles in my time.
100km in the pouring rain. ahhh. cycling.
( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:45, archived)

that reminds me to set up the turbo trainer
i am a bit unfit atm. *wobbles*
( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 6:47, archived)

<s>cycling.</s> time to die

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 12:36, archived)

Bladecycler

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 14:11, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 7:36, archived)

Hiyas

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:41, archived)

Hello everyone
May your day be blessed with multiple sweaty patches in inconvenient places.
( Octo I ruin everything., Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:36, archived)

Waaaayyyyyy ahead of you

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:41, archived)

Newport Pagnell

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 8:54, archived)

One of the funds in my pension has done 35% growth since 1st Jan. Nice work.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 10:55, archived)

*penis joke*

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 10:58, archived)

LOL WILLIES!!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:06, archived)

I think he prefers to be called Nigel Farage

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:45, archived)

'work'

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 17:11, archived)

As far as I am concerned, it’s just a waste of time dealing with them. They are liars.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:11, archived)

/links, you mean

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 11:48, archived)

"There is something wrong with them. They are cuckoo", no I think it's about birds this time

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 13:32, archived)

morning.

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 12:06, archived)

Hi Will

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 12:11, archived)

🎚️

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 13:33, archived)

Can you guys help me out with today's Guardian cryptic crossword? I'm stuck on 6 across.
'Privates "lack right fish pong."' (10)
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jul 2026, 20:35, archived)

well it's certainly making me cross

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:29, archived)

PRIVATIONS

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:31, archived)

The BreakdownThe Definition: "lack" (privations are states of lacking basic necessities).

The Wordplay:"Privates" tells you to use the word PRIVATES."lack right" is a deletion indicator telling you to remove the letter R (the abbreviation for "right"), leaving you with PRIVATES - R = PVATES.

"pong" provides the remaining letters. A "pong" is a bad smell, or an ODOR (4 letters)."fish" acts as the anagram indicator (meaning to "fish around" or scramble the letters).

If you take PVATES and combine it with ODOR ("pong"), you get the 10 letters: P, V, A, T, E, S, O, D, O, R. Scrambling ("fish") those letters spells PRIVATIONS.
( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:31, archived)

you fucking stupid fucking cunt

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:35, archived)

*belms*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:48, archived)

there was billions and billions of ultra smart technology behind that answer

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:57, archived)

GUNTSTENCH

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:53, archived)

oh my god that's amazing. what are you?

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:58, archived)

Private slack = GUNT, right fish pong = sTENCH

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 21:59, archived)

i take my kaks off to you

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:02, archived)

Privates = grunts, -r = gunts, + tench = guntstench

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:14, archived)

Well yes, to be fair I just thought of my favourite 10 letter word and worked backwards.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:17, archived)

guntstench = tench + gunts, = +r, grunts = Privates
( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:22, archived)

Private tench grunts, +rrrr

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:27, archived)

fucksake

( MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:29, archived)

Is the correct answer with the correct reasoning.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:34, archived)

👍🏻

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 22:06, archived)