Will anyone marry me?
I can't offer much, but I can brew a good cup of tea.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:53, archived)

I will, pretty please.
I think it's legal in Cuba.
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:55, archived)

are you
brother and sister then? I think it's legal in East Anglia too.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:59, archived)

It certainly is
but it's more common for fathers to fuck their daughters instead.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:01, archived)

Unless they
are Sally Gunnell, ugly and runs like the fucking wind.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:03, archived)

"if she aint good 'nuff for her family she ain't good 'nuff fer ours boy, you ain't a-marryun that gel!"
/punchline to Suffolk/Norfolk joke
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:06, archived)

Golf Gag #1
:)
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:09, archived)

I will
we'll have to move to Masachussetts though
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:55, archived)

THREE-WAY WEDDING!

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:57, archived)

That means 2 rings each,
so to speak.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:59, archived)

lucky
you
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:02, archived)

I don't like tea
and I'm already married, otherwise I would have considered it
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:56, archived)

Don't like tea?
I'm no head doctor, but you need help. You're not normal, you!
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:06, archived)

I'm trying to marry off my sister, if you're interested.
You'd have to live in Brighton and (pretend to) be gay, but she's a lovely lass once you get past the whole scary, control freak side of things.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:00, archived)

You certainly know how to sell her

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:05, archived)

Does anyone remember this?
A while ago (couple of months?) someone posted an image of a kitten playing with a clock saying "No human I said it's fluffay teim now!" Who made it, and is it still online somewhere?
Cheers,
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:53, archived)

I saw it over there
somewhere but I think a dog ate it
( homonk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:55, archived)

Bollocks m'jollocks...

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:58, archived)

try the kittinternet,

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:56, archived)

so, weddings and shack ups aside
where are the best bars/clubs etc to go to in Amsterdam for a stag do (apart from the banana bar)

any suggestions?
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:42, archived)

Dunno
But im sure thers some good stag places where stags can shag AIDS ridden whores:)

Well i hope so
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:43, archived)

I really don't see the sexual appeal of gardening equipment.

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:45, archived)

gotta try a good
dutch hoe
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:47, archived)

*towels off*
Edit: CHEVRON!
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:48, archived)

You Hoe!

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:48, archived)

Mykeyboy smells of wee and likes to stick fish fingers up squirrels' bums.

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:49, archived)

Hire a suite in hotel...
order in alcohol, drugs and hookers... the only way.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:44, archived)

I'm not sure if I'm thinking 'batchelor party'
or that unpleasant one where they have to chop up the body and then keep arguing and end up as cripples
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:47, archived)

oh that film,,
the one where the guy runs down the other into a wall and smashes his legs in.. everybody in the cinema went "ooohhhh ouch" simultaneously.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:03, archived)

I'm off there next Tuesday. Not on a stag do though.
(stop looking at my goats you bag of spunk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:45, archived)

der Grobe Daves Baare an Gruille

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:45, archived)

Ta
/edit
Big Dave's Bar and Grill - you can't beat them for originality
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:52, archived)

The Grasshopper
start at the top for a steak, go downstairs for a drink, go in the basement for a spliff. Marvellous.

Also the Hill Street Blues (not sure if the name's right), you can write everywhere. I left a message in there toward the back on the ceiling.
( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:46, archived)

I'll look out for them
thanks
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:52, archived)

it them. I also recommend going to the Anne Frankenhaus and go on a canal tour.

I think there's an area where there are ladies of the night. Not sure where it is, you'll have to look carefully ;)
( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:54, archived)

apparently we will not be far from the ladies
I don't know if we'll be sober or upright enough for the serious stuff but you never know

I'd like to see the Anne Frankenhaus but I suspect that some others would imitate the theatre-goer in New York who, while watching a rather poorly acted version of the diary, stood up when the nazis first showed up and shouted

she's in the attic
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 22:00, archived)

flapjacks
house
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:48, archived)

where is it?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:54, archived)

I don't know,
ask him when he comes on.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:55, archived)

Anyone watching c4?
It's hillarious.

Loads of silly southerners talking about how they thought they could die...

in their cars stuck in traffic when a few inches of snow fell.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

I'm still watching Live8

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

Is it me or has Murrayfield got the shittest acoustics...
all those echo-o-o-o-oes :(
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:34, archived)

it's not great is it.
I've not yet spotted anyone I know there yet. most of my family are there
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:35, archived)

I don't know it sounded fine in 1990

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:37, archived)

We think its because they've put the stage in the wrong place,
and the sound is bouncing off the empty stands.

Gah.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:39, archived)

I abseiled off the top of that fucker few months ago
All in the name of chaaa-reeeteeee

If you're interested:

Weeeeeeeee!
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:38, archived)

I'm jealous
I've got the choice of CNN and NBC

NBC said that George Bush met John Mcculloch, Scotland's Prime Minister earlier today.

'nuff said
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:35, archived)

I'm looking forward to seeing
Eddie Izzard playing the piano later
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:36, archived)

question is
how many read that and thought nothing of it?
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:38, archived)

Tell me more

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:34, archived)

A wella-wella-wella HUH!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:39, archived)

imagine
dying while watching Big Brother... your last moments spent listening to some c*nt drivel on about something inane.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:36, archived)

just like
b3ta.com/talk ?
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:37, archived)

good point...vawvnr
Dad Watches Porn has become deceased.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:39, archived)

Dying would be preferable.

( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:37, archived)

hippy

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:38, archived)

watching Big Brother reading B3ta.
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:38, archived)

pfft!

( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:44, archived)

And why in fuck are you censoring the word 'cunt'?
Jesus man.
Swear it out.
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:46, archived)

So, seeing as ww and badger are shacking up
How long till she gets knocked up

Im giving 4-1 odds on four months
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

or how long till he gets BANGED up?
.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:29, archived)

Banged up the arse?

( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:30, archived)

only good and proper like.. only spit and shove...
bleurgh.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

Pfffft!
Spit and Shove! Not heard that one before

*adds to list*
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

my pleasure.
(or pain)
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:37, archived)

2 months.

( Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:30, archived)

Im afraid it might be hard to take odds seeing as hes dumping her for oz soon
So in fairness we should take odds on the amount of hookers he does

Roll up! Roll up!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

As you're...
...buying a house in Glemsford can we rent that off you?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:35, archived)

Pfffft!
You're FREEZING.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:30, archived)

Is she already knocked up?

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

knocked up sleeping with other men
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

Why not both?

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:34, archived)

is that why you've got that pin
and that packet of condoms?
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:30, archived)

A week.
*pokes holes in condoms with a pin*
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:31, archived)

The mindpiss is strong this evening
I see.

'ning chaps!
(FluffehNinja, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

evening

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:34, archived)

4 years 2 day and forty minutes,
in the back of a ford transit, in Ipswich
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

That's FAR too long to spend in Ipswich
/West Suffolker
/Unfazed by snow as lives in the arse end of nowhere
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:36, archived)

I like it there
oddly enough. Will I need thermal underwear?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:40, archived)

It can get shockingly draughty
We have lazy wind here, it goes right through rather than round.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:42, archived)

does that mean I have to
actually start wearing knickers?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:44, archived)

Only outside the house

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:50, archived)

*grins*

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:56, archived)

mmmmm
Transit
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:42, archived)

Took you a long while to spot that missis

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:42, archived)

I wasn't really paying attention

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:48, archived)

*bangs spoon against wine glass, coughs loudly* If I can have your attention please?
Just a brief announcement to say that as of an undecided point in the nearish future myself and the very lovely WW will be shacking up together in sunny Suffolk.

Ithangyou.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:19, archived)

Getting
married?
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:21, archived)

At some stage
*checks bank statement and cries*
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)

awww even better :D
congratulations :)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:25, archived)

guy at work got married and said
he could've used the money to buy an audi TT instead


vrrooooooooooooommmm I say, vroooooooooooooooommmm
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:26, archived)

stop that

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:29, archived)

I wouldn't get an Audi...
...it would have to be an Aston Martin.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:31, archived)

I'd live in sin
for one of those ;)
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

Damn right you will

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

After paying the solicitors from last time,
I'd just live in sin.

*Thanks god he didn't marry*
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:34, archived)

shush you

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:36, archived)

Nono, I wish you all the best!
It just didn't work out for my interweb started relationship in the end.

We had some great times, and are still friends. It's just that we weren't to be.

You will be the bestest, I know it :D
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:40, archived)

It would have to be a fucking big wedding to pay for one of those
From what I remember, ours cost about £20K in the end. Itwas a good day though and we're still together and luvin it.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:35, archived)

HOW much????
mine cost £4k and that included the hotel, meal and drinks for 60 people, evening buffet for 110, ceilidh band, disco, all the outfits for me, four bridesmaids, kilt hire for the best man, photographs, video, all the flowers, stationery...
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:40, archived)

Would it be alright
if I just got married in the registery, jumped over a broom then went to the pub and got pissed?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:42, archived)

How about getting pissed,
vomiting on the registrar and then tripping over a broom? :)
(FluffehNinja, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:45, archived)

truly
a wedding all the family can enjoy
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:47, archived)

Sounds perfect
It's not what you do on the day that's important - it's what you do afterwards.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:49, archived)

I know
I wanted to fuck off to Mexico and get married with no-one around - just me & her. Maximum cost - £5K

She was well up for it until her Mum spoke to her and, well, it's the bride's day, isn't it?

And her Dad paid for most of it.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:45, archived)

hey, he can always splash out
a photographer and my good (pulled off the street) self were the only witnesses to a wedding in Edinburgh

nice couple from wolverhampton who appeared to have eloped
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

don't be daft
father of the bride and all that

*looks forward to shotgun wedding in the registery*
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:26, archived)

weddings don't need to be expensive
I cringe at people saying their weddings cos upwards of £10k. there's just no need for it. I had a really lavish day but we kept within our very limited budget. I'm always available for handy hints and tips when the time comes ;)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:30, archived)

I'm fairly happy with
a minimum of fuss - booze is the most important bit of course.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

If I bring some
can I come to the wedding?
(FluffehNinja, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:38, archived)

of course
you can do anything as long as you bring booze
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:43, archived)

*buys shares in smirnoff*


ooh, also congratulations to you both!
(FluffehNinja, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:46, archived)

Aww!
She can wear a vinyl dominatrix wedding dress and carry a whip instead of a bouquet...
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D
how domesticated ;) that's lully :D
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:21, archived)

ooooh, you mucky devils!


congratumulations
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:21, archived)

She's becoming a Southerner?
Fackin' 'ell!

Edit: and congrats to you both. I've never met either of you but you seem like decent enough sorts.

And from the pictures I've seen of WW's norks I think she'll be an asset to the southern counties.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:21, archived)

East Anglian
SOUTH starts at round That London as far as I'm concerned.\

edit - well East Anglia needs more hills
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:22, archived)

well
it starts at Knutsford, but works it's way around East Anglia.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)

I always thought it started at the Holmes Chapel exit on the M6...


Edit: and congrats of course.
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:25, archived)

Aww!
You get to feel her every single night!
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:22, archived)

it's so romantic :)

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)

I bet he farts in bed.

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

we
just know she does.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:25, archived)

Not as loudly as she does.
Would you like to earn babysitting money?

the idea of you baby sitting Reece appeals greatly to my warped sense of humour somehow.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:25, archived)

Oh dear God yes.
I could expand his vocabulary greatly.
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:26, archived)

he could quite possibly challenge you
in that department ;)
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

Or I could turn him ginger.

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:32, archived)

I'm from Suffolk originally. Constable Country is a true rural idyll.
Thinking of moving back there.. no one to shack up with though except parents. [thinks of how lonely he is and cries onto his keyboard] sniffle sniffle.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

farts in bed. likes boys
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:26, archived)

Well that was pretty obvious
From last nights WW outburst

god you're like CNN
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)

I missed that
so it's news to me
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

Oh shut up you curmoudgeonly old git...
....I bet you're rushing to buy a new suit as we speak.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

you're only jealous
because you want him so.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

hurrah!

( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)

You!
Msn
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

GAZ!
/predictable
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:27, archived)

congratulations

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:23, archived)

On that note, I might as well dink a glass,
and say me and my girlfriend of 2 years are making the big step and renting a one bedroomed flat in the west end of Lincoln.

Congrats btw!!
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

Congrats to you too
West end, eh? You classy bastard - staying away from the Skegness side*...





*I know it's nowhere near, but the smell travels quite far on a warm day...
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:33, archived)

Ooh, lovely!
I hope you have a great time together.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:26, archived)

INTERCOCK LOVEMATCH ASPLOSION!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:29, archived)

Congratulations you two! :D


are you done with the wine glass?
( Shoosh up your lips Not state-funded, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:34, archived)

B.O Season
Body Odour Season has officially started... two Tubes on the way home.. two very stinky individuals sat in my carriages on both trains.

July brings out the stinkers.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:17, archived)

I'm soooooooo glad I don't live in London any more
I hated commuting on the tube when I was pregnant and my sense of smell was enhanced
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:19, archived)

This...
...is one of the myriad reasons I am emetrnally grateful I live in Suffolk.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:21, archived)

Suffolk
isn't a patch on Scotland though
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:27, archived)

I don't breathe through my nose in vehicles.

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:19, archived)

carry stealth deodorant
and spray them
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:19, archived)

Would Pepper Spray do?
;-)
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:20, archived)

but then you'll lose the benefit
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4653139.stm
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:22, archived)

ha ha.. Shall I be dominant? Shall I use a whip?
.
(Dad Watches Porn "I like it when it's cold", Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:25, archived)

take it up with jesus

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:20, archived)

with jesus the arse
( just a man sitting on a chair eating a biscuit, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:28, archived)

A chap at work, who's surname is 'Morrell'
(We add an S, ie Smorrell) smells like a fetid badger corpse.

He sweats from 7:30AM, and wears the same shirt for days. We know this as, like a tree's trunk, his underarms have rings - Lighter from the previous days stinking sweat, and darker where that day's is slowly seeping outwards.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:22, archived)

Dont shower for two weeks
And then other people's B.O. wont bother you
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:24, archived)

apparently not GC
and quite nice, have a go with kitten

www.airtightinteractive.com/projects/related_tag_browser/app/
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:14, archived)

mmmmm
I want
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:19, archived)

WHY?!
I have a killer headache - so retreated to my room, fell asleep fopr about half an hour and now my neighbour has decided that 8pm on a wednesday would be a really good time to mow his lawn...
so now I have a headache and my hay fever has got tons worse in the space of about 10 minutes:(
*cries*
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:05, archived)

God, lawnmowers are fucking horrible.
Why can't they make a silent one?
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:07, archived)

They did

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:11, archived)

Then why doesn't anyone use it?
Did you eat it or something, you fat cunt?
( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:13, archived)

No

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:16, archived)

You smell like a bat in a mangle.

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:18, archived)

because noisy
ones are cheaper.
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:17, archived)

they did,
but it involved goats, and car batteries
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:11, archived)

Wank.
It does apparently help relieve pain.
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:08, archived)

do a shit in
your hand and throw it at him out of the window.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:10, archived)

I had a splitting headache last night
and the Tour De France went right past my hotel window yesterday. Cue loads of fat drunk German tv crews in the hotel bar until about 3am this morning.
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:11, archived)

how lovely of them
The lawnmower ahs now been joined by a steam train...

I love living near the train station...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:12, archived)

Do you also like living in the 1960s?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:13, archived)

Nonsense,
Green Day didn't exist in the 60's
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:15, archived)

shh you
apparently it was the Orient Express...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:17, archived)

They did
They used to be called 'The Colourful Period of Time' and had hits such as "Weave Me a Basketcase of Flowers", "Good Riddance to Ruby Tuesday" and "Walking Down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams in my Loon Pants and Giving Flowers to Strangers".

/encyclopaedic* knowledge of music


*non-existent
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:20, archived)

Why did you change "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"?
its named after a James Dean photo...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:21, archived)

Cah!
You can't argue with Paul Gambaccini's 'British HitSingles of the 60s'.

A James Dean photo has a name? How pretentious?
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:27, archived)

What's wrong with you, woman?
Get drunk and sing loudly. That'll show the fat bastard!
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:13, archived)

I did that last night
and this is the first night in months that I haven't been playing drums...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:20, archived)

Collect all the dog eggs in bags
from those bins by the park, and plant them like mines in his garden.

He'll think twice about mowing the lawn ever again.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:13, archived)

Right my bash-location bitches
It's my birthday in September, and Badger was thinking it was time for an East Anglian bash.

How many people would do a night out in Cambridge?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:59, archived)

noooooooooooooooo
come to Embra! I'll look after you both ;)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:00, archived)

when are you thinking of doing an Edinbash?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:01, archived)

this Monday
and possibly a weekend one in July too and then one between September and Christmas that fits in around the Reading bash and any other bashes that happen
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:02, archived)

I shall try and make an effort to come up for it

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:05, archived)

grand :D
the July one or one later in the year?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:07, archived)

Oh later
I shall be bashing bunny for a while before that
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:10, archived)

We will be coming up to Embra at some point
as we have been promising to do this for MONTHS.

But the East Anglia bash would be good too.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:02, archived)

No protesting though

( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:07, archived)

come up during the Festival
and see some good shows
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:07, archived)

We might if we have all of the money
which we might not :(
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:11, archived)

ahhh
better coming after the Festival then, cos everything's expensive then
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:16, archived)

Me! ME!

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:01, archived)

*pats you on your ginger head*

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:02, archived)

*purrs*
Unlike Comma's I can actually make it :-(
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:04, archived)

can you actually go into pubs though?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:05, archived)

Maybe if I wear high heels and a dress
and try to flirt my way in.
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:07, archived)

it worked for me
but I had fantastic breasts
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:09, archived)

*hrumph*

( Comma, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:06, archived)

NO !
Where are the South East/South West bashes :(
(Borderline Schizo, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:02, archived)

I believe there's a Brizzle bash on 20th Aug?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:04, archived)

But, I will be in the South East then :(
And I bet there will be a Brighton or somewhere bash when I am back in Exeter :(
(Borderline Schizo, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:08, archived)

Norwich
every time. I fucking love Norwich, I do, I do, I do.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:02, archived)

It's a bit out of the way for a lot of people though
Cambridge is fairly easy to get to.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:04, archived)

Great Yarmouth!

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:03, archived)

This
extraordinarily difficult to get to, and shit.
The wax works is funny though.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:05, archived)

and we can taunt death at the pleasure beach

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:07, archived)

Yarmouth -
The Las Vegas of East Anglia - complete with Circus Circus and an air of disillusion
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:09, archived)

I have yet to 'experience' this

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:14, archived)

suits me
*doesn't have far to go*
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:15, archived)

haven't been on the picture board today
is it worth it?
(Brad Dice, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:56, archived)

better than this dull shite
but not as good as 4rthur
( rob, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:56, archived)

haha
honest
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:58, archived)

You seem to have mispelled 'utter cunts' as '4rthur'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:01, archived)

I tried the
cling film egg thing at lunchtime. As a warning, do not use cheap shitty cling film, it melts to your skin and into the egg.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:01, archived)

I haven't been on the picture board
in months if not years. I don't have time to 'shop any more
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:57, archived)

Apart from the
shop lifting you do to support your glue habit.
( DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:00, archived)

Shoplift glue
and cut out the middle man.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:09, archived)

I need a favour.
If one of you would kindly let me send you a .xls file through MSN, could you kindly convert it into a wordpad/notepad file so I can read it??

Danke.

edit:// 88% overall. I needed 75% to keep my job.

HAPPY!
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:53, archived)

use a xls reader
www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=c8378bf4-996c-4569-b547-75edbd03aaf0&displaylang=EN
( rob, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:55, archived)

Sorted,
I need it to view my second work review. If it's bad, I get the sack.

/nerves
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:56, archived)

how big is it?
I'll do it if it's not too big, cos I'm feeling lazy
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:55, archived)

If the xls reader doesn't work,
can I still use you as my back up?
( grindforcolumbine Terrorism is bloody rude., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:57, archived)

aye
I'm not going anywhere

MSN details in my profile
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:58, archived)

ZOOMBINIS!

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:43, archived)

no, they're still quite slow

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:43, archived)

A what bini?

( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:51, archived)

FTL FM is go!
djrich with usual mix of stuff :)

www.ftlfm.com main site and board

83.149.101.8:8014/listen.pls direct listen link
( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:42, archived)

I shall listen to this
As it is good
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:43, archived)

:D

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:47, archived)

Yay for Shoutcast!
Listening now :)
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:51, archived)

Me too
and the hotel has got a shitty slow wireless network as well
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:53, archived)

I'm playing some tunes
81.110.218.153:8000/listen.pls
hopefully until djrich gets on air on FTLFM

No I haven't sussed out how to use the mic yet
and
no, there isn't a playlist




but if you don't want to think about what tunes to play...I'm your man

edit: bugger that was quick, djrich is on :)
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:41, archived)

I'm watching Live8

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:42, archived)

Bugger
sorry
( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:42, archived)

no probs
I'm listening to you now :)
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:44, archived)

Didn't know you were getting into teh broadcasting :)

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:45, archived)

only when
you guys aren't on.

I have to listen to music and I might as well share a few tunes.
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:47, archived)

Rob, did you see my post
asking if you fancied sampling some booze this weekend?
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:49, archived)

no, sorry didn't see that one.
Hebden?
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:50, archived)

Yeah, or perhaps Manchester
I've been putting off getting my green tea from there for weeks now! I suppose it depends whether I'm needed at work, so might be short notice.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:53, archived)

went to manchester last week
so I can't see us going back there
so soon.
come to rochdale! cheap ale :)
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:55, archived)

It's an idea!
I can't remember if it's on a direct train. Are there any nice ladies in Rochdale who would let you play stare-out with their norks?
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:58, archived)

it's a direct train
£4.20 return and loads of norty ladies :)
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:59, archived)

I went to Rochdale for my 21st birthday
A mate of mine was managing a bar called Bojangles that managed to actually be worse than the name implied. Still, I got loads of free ale and crashed in the flat above the bar.

That's my memory of Rochdale.

Edit: This was about 9 years ago
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:06, archived)

I remember bojangles
don't think i ever went in though.
I'm sure it's gone now as well.

/not very interesting blog


are you from teh North too?
( robh, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:11, archived)

Notts originally.
Now fighting the good fight in Royal Berkshire.

If Bojangles has gone it can only be a good thing. It really was dire.
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 21:15, archived)

What then brushed inside a gate in octopus
land love sight recorded perferation of seeded in brain measure card toll.

'ning all
( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:39, archived)

GO DRINK GIN

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:41, archived)

Is that wise?

In my condition?

*puts one hand on her belly and the other on the small of her back, striking the classic pregnant pose*

*winces from the SPD*
( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:44, archived)

Juniper causes uterine contractions
I dont see the problem

I geniunely demand you call it Michael, whether male or female
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:46, archived)

Michaela?

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:48, archived)

Michael?
How normal.

I used to have a brother called Michael.

No we fully decided on Fox for a boy and Romany for a girl.

edit - stop telling me Juniper causes uterine contractions
( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:49, archived)

Romany? you want your child to be called gypsy?
Michael means 'he who is like god'

edit: Drink Gin
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:52, archived)

Michaela?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:50, archived)

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and a Welshman right.
And the Welshman, the Irishman and the Scotsman gang up and beat the crap out of the Englishman

Been watching Absolutely sketches. What a great show that was.
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:31, archived)

STONEYBRIDGE!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:31, archived)

It's TWUE!!

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

The best sketches are here
www.absolutelyandy.com/absolutely/videoclips/index.htm
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:35, archived)

Is this Scottish humour?
And do you have a license?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:38, archived)

I think it was a nationwide show
And here's my license officer

*produces Scottish humour license*
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:39, archived)

*kills you*
*runs your 'country' how he likes*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:40, archived)

ooooh
ta!
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:42, archived)

You know what you'd be sitting on if it wasn't for the Scots?
YOUR ARSE!! Thats what you'd be sitting on
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

did a scots man invent the chair?

( diffy maybs, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:41, archived)

Apparently so
They also invented hats and the English
( Dugs - The artist formerly known as Dugsybaws, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:43, archived)

the being run by the
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:47, archived)

fucking mick!:)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

LESBIANS IN TOP HATS!

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

A FUCKING GREAT FLACCID WHALE!

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:37, archived)

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and Michael Jackson walk into an all-boys primary school.
The Irishman visibily relaxes knowing that for once he's not going to be be the butt of the joke.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

i approve
of this joke
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:34, archived)

What I've learnt tonight:
Brass Eye is fucking brilliant.
( Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:24, archived)

this
chris morris is my god
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:25, archived)

chris morris is my god Mykeyboy gives me fizzy knickers
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:27, archived)

Mykeyboy gives me fizzy knickers
I love Timmy Mallet.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:28, archived)

I love Timmy Mallet. Mykeyboy fathered my son as im not man enough to produce sperm and my wife despairs of me
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:30, archived)

^Mallet's hard cock

( ArthurTheRat, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:32, archived)

As is fondling the breasts of a willing 16 yr old bird

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:26, archived)

bah
I had fantastic breasts when I was 16
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:27, archived)

So did I.

( Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:28, archived)

you have a lully body
even if you don't think you do
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:29, archived)

I didn't have any
really...

They appeared overnight, after years of people calling me 'pancake tits'
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:30, archived)

I was a C cup
by the time I was 11. that wasn't a lot of fun. I was 36F at 16
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

Photos!
Of course you still pale in comparison to other lady scots i know..
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:35, archived)

I don't have any photos of me from then
and now I'm not worth looking at
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:37, archived)

Rubbish!
I shall knock one out over you now!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:38, archived)

you must be feeling desperate then

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:41, archived)

I woke up one morning
and was a 36D.

Funnily enough they stopped taking the piss.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:38, archived)

I'm not surprised
norks have power
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:40, archived)

^
this
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:41, archived)

Nah we prefer video games

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:42, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621963
( Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:27, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/621974
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:29, archived)

Then you should try
this.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:26, archived)

thats ace
we have that
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:28, archived)

I want to get that
Chris Morris = fucking brilliant,
Peter Cook = best and funniest person to ever live.
( homonk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:31, archived)

I agree
x 10000
( homonk, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:28, archived)

Cake is a made-up drug.
It is great.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:28, archived)

joss ackland's spunky back pack

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:28, archived)

Arf! Had to look that one up!
Genetically, paedophiles are more like crabs than human beings. There's no scientific evidence for this, but it is a fact.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:34, archived)

pffft
dr fox, fucking cunt - and phil collins 'im talking nonce-sense' wankers
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:39, archived)

It was brilliant,
I don't understand what all the fuss was about. I also liked the 'secret sign' the guy did when he saw an unattended kid, I pissed myself!
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:42, archived)

my favourite
was that song he did about myra hindley
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:43, archived)

Let's clear this up once and for all:
Is the letter Y a vowel or a consonte a contsi a consininin not?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:23, archived)

which language?

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:25, archived)

It's a consonant

( Malchick, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:25, archived)

According to my
English homework book from year 5, its a part time vowel...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:33, archived)

It's a consonant.
The letter Y was historically a consonant, but the confusion arose in around 1863 when Wales was invented. Due to the strange Welsh voice-noises, the letter Y was essential in every single Welshish word. This led to a national Y shortage in the rest of the British Isles, and so a letter Y ration was put into place. In order to get around this, some people claimed the letter was a vowel - The wording in the bill rationed the 'consonent Y'; this loophole led to the Y revolution of the early 1900s, and the rest is history.
( Druid, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:47, archived)

why is it that
all passport pictures make you look not like you? I got some done today and i look like a fucking corpse.........or should that be cunt?

edit: its both, clearly
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:14, archived)

very occasionally you get a good one
but the general advice is that if you look like your passport photo you're too ill to travel

[edit] a passport pic of me when I was 16
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:15, archived)

i'd post the one i had done today
but teh scanner is b0rked - its a good job really
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:17, archived)

I can if you'd like?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:18, archived)

hmmmm
*considers*

oh fuck it, go on then....scare the good people of b3ta
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:19, archived)

Crap...err crap
I will have to find it
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:20, archived)

pfffft
you were hoping id say no
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:21, archived)

bloody hell woman
and you still love those kids!!!
( Dill, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:17, archived)

what does that mean?
that I look hellish-rough now?
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:20, archived)

no but
phwooarrr
( Dill, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:21, archived)

down boy :P
I was only 16

(though a very very naughty 16)
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:22, archived)

I'm sure you were
;)
( Dill, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:26, archived)

You are Traci Lords
AICMFP
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:17, archived)

who?

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:19, archived)

young porn star

ermm... not that I would know
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:20, archived)

but i
knew that also....
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:20, archived)

she was in Blade
as well.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:21, archived)

an actress
who's early films are her best
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:20, archived)

that is crying out
for a police number round your neck and the measurement things behind you
( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:19, archived)

Cunt is wibbly and hairy
You look good in them!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:15, archived)

yes
wear it like a hat
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:16, archived)

makes it easier to identify you after 6 weeks in a greek prison

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:16, archived)

I look stoned or hungover or something on my driving license
and I look drunk in my passport...the American immigration dude wasn't gonna let me in to the US...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Wed 6 Jul 2005, 20:20, archived)