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# Telegraph pic
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 9:26, archived)
# I found the 'real' original!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:09, archived)
# Excellent.
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:42, archived)
# Elsewhere on the internet. Not mine.


(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:58, archived)
# Haha class!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 15:02, archived)
# Soylent Green?
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:19, archived)
# you don't get it because you were born after 1949
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:08, archived)
# But that makes you 455 in dog years!
A different question. Why is he wearing a MacDonalds badge in the original photo?
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 20:24, archived)
# Even more excellent!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 18:00, archived)
# Wimmy wham wham wozzle!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:17, archived)
# hahaha
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:34, archived)
#
 photo trhstrhstrh_zps2c91825c.jpg
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:37, archived)
#
 photo saerararthathe_zpsfff8e512.jpg
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:55, archived)
#

(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:51, archived)
# was waiting for this one
(, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 4:28, archived)
# Kim Jong Fuck.
(, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 10:14, archived)
# Today's bit of muck
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 8:44, archived)
# oh my!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:49, archived)
# Teeth with tits!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 15:02, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 4:38, archived)
# DAT'S FUCKIN HOT
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 7:12, archived)
# Stretch Armstrong's new girlfriend
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 7:30, archived)
# well, that's an inprovement!
mind you, i think she needs to eat a few mars bars to fatten her up!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 8:31, archived)
# do you think her feet look too small?
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:10, archived)
# Too fat for my liking
:D
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:36, archived)
# but I bet she could climb the fuck up a tree
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:57, archived)
# If she can make me dinner up there I would approve.
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 23:32, archived)
[challenge entry] I think I heard this rite...
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 0:49, archived)
# Misheard lyrics <> Weird lyrics
Jus' sayin'.
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 7:11, archived)
# Is this her cover version of the Beatles
" Cum together ..... right now ..... over me " ?
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 8:57, archived)
[challenge entry] That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:33, archived)
# I really love those.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:38, archived)
# I really love...
...

...

*waits*

...those.

Sorry for the big paws.
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 5:25, archived)
# *spang*
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 8:02, archived)
# that's a neato what now right
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:12, archived)
# Pfft
:D
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:21, archived)
# I want that lamp
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:07, archived)
# Mine
Mine mine mine mine
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:19, archived)
# maybe her feet had just grow(l)?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:11, archived)
# Look it keeps me quiet and out of trouble on a Friday night OK?! Evening.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:08, archived)
# woo!! yay!!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:19, archived)
# Hahaha Nice Quo
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:22, archived)
# ARGH!
THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR
THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR
THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR
THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR THE FEAR
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:07, archived)
# How could I miss THE FEAR!
They are still nicely tucked up in the flying saucer I won at the B3ta auction. My best investment ever. Give it another 20 years and I'll be on Antiques Roadshow still looking for Fiona Bruce's Camel Toe while they tell me it's worth nothing.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:28, archived)
# lovely!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 5:29, archived)
# FLAN IS THE MAN
Woo yay!
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 10:06, archived)
# yeah fuck
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:15, archived)
# gloriousnessness

(, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 4:31, archived)
[challenge entry] Still think it says this
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:11, archived)
# i did
till i heard it on maxell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEe0qqPAC6E

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:33, archived)
# Re-record, not fade away....*
Re-record, not fade away....
Re-record, not fade away....

*May be Scotch.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:39, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 2:07, archived)
# Just like that Prince Buster song
"Pants you wore, I bought them / Judith Chalmers is your name"
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:56, archived)
[challenge entry] buried along with her name
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:29, archived)
# OK! WE GET IT, YOU LOVE THE BEATLES!
;)
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:27, archived)
# I thought it was Shakin' Stevens
-1 point.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:42, archived)
# haha
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:10, archived)
# needs more old piano
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:12, archived)
# i can't help it...
...i have a problem
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:26, archived)
# why does she plaster it to the outside of the jar --
i thought it was supposed to be inside
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:12, archived)
# *shakes fist at pedro*
(, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 6:29, archived)
[challenge entry] 0_o
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:21, archived)
# :)
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:24, archived)
# Impossible to police...
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:36, archived)
# Some kind of sting operation is needed
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:38, archived)
#

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:06, archived)
# Hello Pedro
Nice to see you to see you nice.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:30, archived)
# cheers! ...and Hello
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:44, archived)
# Oh my
Oh my :D
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:35, archived)
[challenge entry] .
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:55, archived)
[challenge entry] A sudden compo pea appeared!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:06, archived)
# is it really?
surely there was another one following it?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:33, archived)
# Not sure about that new sexualised Charlie and The Chocolate Factory cover.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:26, archived)
# looks like shit
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:35, archived)
# This is the first time I have made the mental connection between
Chocolate Factory, and Arsehole.
Charlie and the Anus.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:10, archived)
[challenge entry] It's all to do with the apostrophe.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:13, archived)
# She knows just what it takes to make a crow blush
the crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:18, archived)
# She'll explode ya.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:18, archived)
# She's a spaz.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:38, archived)
#
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:43, archived)
# Kitten Slayer
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:09, archived)
# Haunted by his past as a beast hunter
he wanders the wastelands looking for parentless puppies to raise as his own children.

And if they are not parentless, they will be soon.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:51, archived)
# Strudel shoulder.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:39, archived)
# FAN ART
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:16, archived)
#
thank you
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:32, archived)
[challenge entry] Not the weirdest of Beck's lyrics by a long chalk, but one I could illustrate

(It's a box of viagara he's holding)
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:36, archived)
# is it Metallica "Enter Sandman"?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:42, archived)
# Damn, that would've been more my style too!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:51, archived)
# with a 4 page description of how Lars licked his balls
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:53, archived)
# ...Hammett watches from behind a buckled microphone stand
furiously strumming at his enormous, absurdly bent erection as the fingers of his left hand automatically pick out the solo from Damage Inc on his shaft.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:56, archived)
# I thought people were just being cruel saying that Lars is a shit drummer.
Then came Glasto. They weren't, he is.
Used to think Enter Sandman was a good song, now all I hear is shitty drums. James Hetfield deserves more credit for keeping a solid rhythm over a shambles of a drum track.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:08, archived)
# He's worst on the ...And Justice for All album
But it's him and Hetfield who write the songs, so what do you do with your mate who you write with but can't play? Stick him behind the drums!

Still, he's far from the worst successful drummer.

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:57, archived)
[challenge entry] I may be small but I never forget
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:08, archived)
# Maybe his legs just had grow
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:45, archived)
# hahahaha
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:30, archived)
# hahahaha
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:32, archived)
#
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:43, archived)
# All the cut will be absorbed
by it been a dog.

So, no worries.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:48, archived)
#

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:52, archived)
# Perfecto!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:57, archived)
# SPANG!!!!

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:46, archived)
# hahahah
me rikey velly much
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:26, archived)
# Krang!

KRANG!
I made a t-shirt out of this. You can buy it here. Or not.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:02, archived)
# that's one hell of an angry bollock
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:03, archived)
# you seen what they've done with krang in the new tv series?
there's loads of them, one per Utrom, so to speak...
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)
# What Toasty said, you should get that checked.
Good timing though, I was just wondering if that tales from b3ta thing we did still exists?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:09, archived)
# Yep
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:19, archived)
# Ta!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:35, archived)
# Krang!
:D
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:36, archived)
[challenge entry] Dancing in the deepest oceans Twisting in the water You're just like a dream
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:00, archived)
[challenge entry] haha! I literally missed a trick
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)
[challenge entry] Some strange casting decisions on the remake of Cannonball Run?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)
[challenge entry] no explanation needed surely...
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:54, archived)
# television, the drug of the nation ?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:24, archived)
# maybe a small explanation needed then...
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:29, archived)
# Life, oh life...
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:37, archived)
# Gabba, Gabba, Gabba, Gabriel.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:49, archived)
# Newsletter subjlols suggestions
write something funny and gay
in case there's a newsletter today
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:48, archived)
# Calling a ceasefire on spam, before repeatedly spamming your inbox.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:50, archived)
# BUY MY MERCHANDISE - DBROON
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:51, archived)
# It's like taking Ecstasy; but you're already dead inside.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:52, archived)
# hitting your "inbox" when you least expect it
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:52, archived)
# 8 hours late?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:54, archived)
# Dishing out GUILTY verdicts like Savile dished out his "Shhh" lollipops.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:53, archived)
# This site has been going for 13 years and we really wish we could stop now.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:56, archived)
# Not legal tender in Scotland
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:57, archived)
# B3TA NEWSLETTER NOW TWINNED WITH BACUP PARISH CHURCH NEWSLETTER
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:59, archived)
# Something else to not read when your friends don't call.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:00, archived)
# "I read the shit out of this newsletter every week, it's amazing" - The Pope
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:04, archived)
# Win a Bowl of Ebola in this weeks Tombola
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:09, archived)
# More inaccuracies than an American and Israeli missle strike combined
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:10, archived)
# "Will go through you like ebola"
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:12, archived)
# BEST NEWSLETTER 2005 - Newsletter review
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:31, archived)
# Ebola Gay
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:32, archived)
# Ha ha ha
Best OMD song ever.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:41, archived)
# All the best bits
from two weeks ago.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:32, archived)
# Iraq War 2 special
see the bombing locations before they're gone
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:34, archived)
# As free of spam as a Russian supermarket
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:40, archived)
# WHY DO WE BOTHER WITH THIS SHIT?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:42, archived)
# because our lives are empty and worthless
and this constitutes entertainment and camaraderie
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:45, archived)
# Also a sense of continuity in a post-post modern society where acceptance of the fact that nothing actually lasts has a far greater impact than the few isolated instances of things inspiring hope.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:54, archived)
# woa-ho-ho-hoah.
*takes another toke*
*explores knuckles*
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)
# Grate. Just grate.
and post-lunch coma hits like a sack of wet aubergine
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)
# I've got yer wet aubergine, right here bub

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:51, archived)
# s/he's been crying
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:01, archived)
# ha ha ha!!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:48, archived)
# You are receiving this newsletter as a dream. We are transmitting from the year one, nine, nine, nine. You are receiving this newsletter in order to alter the events you are seeing.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:45, archived)
# Rob is bored of doing this
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:19, archived)
# TLDR? follow us on twitter instead
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:26, archived)
# Crashing into your inbox like a floppy-haired buffon in an Uxbridge polling station.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:33, archived)
# BORIS JOHNSON TO EDIT B3TA NEWSLETTER - CRITICS QUESTION HIS COMMITMENT TO MAYORAL DUTIES
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:40, archived)
# AFRICAN SAFARI'S ON SPECIAL OFFER: 80% DISCOUNT
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)
# ISRAELI MILITARY TRYING HARD TO MATCH CONSERVATIVE RECORD ON DESTROYING SCHOOLS AND HOSPITALS
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:31, archived)
# BETTER LATE THAN CLEVER
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:33, archived)
# Too subtle?
Nasty. British. Short. (and last relevant in 2007)


edit: or "Buy some coffee".
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:47, archived)
# See usvsthem.cunt
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:58, archived)
# b3ta
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:06, archived)
# 4eva
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:31, archived)
# OBV
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:20, archived)
# Now with added newsletter
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:41, archived)
[challenge entry] there has to be a twist...
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:36, archived)
# lovely
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:40, archived)
# hillbilly witch
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:57, archived)
# i love that song
*whistles hillbilly witch intro*
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:58, archived)
# *googles*
I never knew, I thought I made up the term.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:37, archived)

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