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[challenge entry] Caption Competition (because I've sat here trying to think of one for 30 minutes)


(Suggestions welcome.. Winner receives absolutely nothing)
 
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:43, archived)
# Following on from what she said yesterday
Theresa May Would


(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:56, archived)
# Wow that's good.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:57, archived)
# Oops I thought I'd credited it
Not one of mine, it came from The Independent
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:25, archived)
# Woot
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 18:45, archived)
# Trident isn't a cruise missile, its an SLBM
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:04, archived)
# Yeah I know, but I couldn't find a good source image.
And anyway, they just look like big dildos. Cruise missiles have more of a "wow"factor.

And anyway, shurrup.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:07, archived)
# Are Cruise missiles the ones that leap up onto the sofa and make a prat of themselves on Oprah?
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 19:20, archived)
# Cruise midgets is what you are looking for.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 23:02, archived)
# Also that's a rubbish caption
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:08, archived)
# Is that the gay missile that's always having parades?
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 19:48, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Wed 20 Jul 2016, 9:30, archived)
# Pronounce SLBM as a word
I get Slubum

I don't know what this means.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 20:54, archived)
# Self Levelling Ball Massager™.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 23:28, archived)
# I'm a fucking evil hag
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:55, archived)
# We hope we won't have to use this dreadful thing between my legs but we need to give it a make-over just in case.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:58, archived)
# Lol
(, Wed 20 Jul 2016, 2:08, archived)
# Mother Theresa discovers the "rocket" mode on her VibroMax 3000
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 18:17, archived)
# I doubt it'd even touch the sides
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 20:57, archived)
# ye whore!
*waves stetson*
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 18:28, archived)
# I'm thinking more "Tally-ho"
and waiving something satirical that I'm struggling to think of...

Edit: Oh yeah, personal privacy, LOL!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 20:41, archived)
#
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 21:10, archived)
# *Aaaaauuuauauuugh*!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 22:00, archived)
# *wobbles*
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 23:28, archived)
# Tory! Tory! Tory!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 21:40, archived)
# That is actually
very witty indeed. One point to you.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 21:44, archived)
# I'd be very surprised if it's not bindun...
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 21:50, archived)
[challenge entry] NWOT : Room layout-a-like
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 21:47, archived)
# Did you know that the first Common Market was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 22:02, archived)
# Best Shackletons advert ever
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 22:24, archived)
[challenge entry] The Melania
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:24, archived)
# Hahaha good one!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:37, archived)
# Michelle Rolled by her speechwriter!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 22:36, archived)
# Probably topical.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 12:31, archived)
# New Foreign Secretary arrives for first Cabinet Meeting...
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 10:52, archived)
# i see no crayons
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:08, archived)
# Wot? No Razzle?
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:23, archived)
# Polticks
Srs Biznis
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:26, archived)
# he's more a fan of renaissance bazongas
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:27, archived)
# pea
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:13, archived)
# On the cover
is that Teresa May ?
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:25, archived)
# which one :D
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:56, archived)
# Has he had his hair did?
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 13:55, archived)
# Maybe his leg had just grow
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:44, archived)
[challenge entry] can someone animate?
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 10:26, archived)
# Ah from the classic photoshoot "Tories standing awkwardly"

(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 10:51, archived)
# A lot of them skipped the "How to look and act human" classes on the homeworld
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:57, archived)
# I'm animating so hard right now
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:15, archived)
# and you can still type?
talented.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 11:41, archived)
# They dont call him 'clever dick' for nothing.
Saying that, they dont call him clever dick at all...
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 17:05, archived)
# So cruel. I hope they vote to ban it.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 20:17, archived)
# Free Willy with every launch
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 20:56, archived)
# Haha :D
Your mind is a wonder thing
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 21:26, archived)
# You're more Polari than Polaris.
More Bent than Trident.

Jussayin', like.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 21:51, archived)
# haha
If you change that white stripe on her outfit to yellow, it would be perfect
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 8:55, archived)
#
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 16:20, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 14:42, archived)
# Wow!!!!!!!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 14:51, archived)
# Hahaha wicked!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 15:05, archived)
# Hahaha!
:)
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 15:09, archived)
# hahahaha
fantastic wobble
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 15:22, archived)
# Mega-magnificent™!!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 15:26, archived)
# Hahahahaha
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 15:28, archived)
# Phwoar!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 15:41, archived)
# Stop the internet. We have a winner!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 16:06, archived)
# haha
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 17:19, archived)
# FP material!

(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 17:50, archived)
# ^
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 21:10, archived)
# W/Y/H
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 18:08, archived)
# Yes!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 18:42, archived)
# \o
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 20:30, archived)
# Strangely aroused....
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 20:33, archived)
# Boing!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 22:50, archived)
# That is...
a career highlight. Fantastic. Kliks.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 0:00, archived)
# Excellent.
:D
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 12:34, archived)
# WYH
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 14:48, archived)
# BOKE!!!!!!!!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 15:15, archived)
# Woo yay
Nice :D
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 21:46, archived)
# aces
(, Wed 20 Jul 2016, 8:38, archived)
[challenge entry] Am I really doing this right?
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 13:34, archived)
# Only in Yorkshire.
Where she's T'Resa May
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 16:07, archived)
# Gotta catch 'em all
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:38, archived)
# There's a man who loves his job.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 10:28, archived)
# Hope that's a Faraday cage
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 10:28, archived)
# how do you spay a pikachu?
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 11:42, archived)
# You poke 'im on!
... wait, wrong joke.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 12:26, archived)
# pff
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 12:44, archived)
# First, get an earthing strap
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 12:40, archived)
# and then?
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 12:44, archived)
# 28 degrees up here at the moment...
I'm in the North East where anything over 10 degrees is considered tropical!

As the late, great , Caroline Aherne would say....


(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 13:10, archived)
# So. Trident vote today...
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:07, archived)
# But if we haven't got nuclear missiles, how will we stop the men in trucks driving down our streets?
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:10, archived)
# I guess in the traditional way...
Speed humps and traffic light cameras
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:14, archived)
# BORDERS
or failing that, more branches of Waterstones
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:22, archived)
# Recently applied one-way systems and outdated TomTom's.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 10:41, archived)
# Think of all the clown shoes and green fringed baldy wigs that kind of money would buy.
Enough for every UK politician to be instantly recognisable on the international stage.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 10:39, archived)
# It won't be enough. Trident estimated £205billion (that's £1/second for 6,500 years to give you some idea of scale of costs)
or £350,000,000 a week for about 11 years...

...for something that is only there so we won't use the fucking thing!!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 16:13, archived)
# Apparently we're using it all the time.
Without it we'd be under constant nuclear attack, like countries without a deterrent such as Japan and Australia.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 16:55, archived)
# Plus we wouldn't get to strut around
between the skirts of the USA, yapping occasionally.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 17:24, archived)
# Japan has giant radioactive octopus creatures and Godzilla as their ultimate deterrent
Australia has wildlife that's either venomous, poisonous, rippy, bitey, or all of the above.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 17:32, archived)
# If you nuke australian wildlife it'll just laugh.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 20:53, archived)
#
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 22:50, archived)
# hahahaha, excellent
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 22:59, archived)
# "That's no Drifloon..."
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 0:53, archived)
# Hahahahaha
Woo!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 1:04, archived)
# They'd never get a decent signal out there
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 8:42, archived)
# great stuff!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:08, archived)
# Splendid.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 10:40, archived)
# Top work!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 16:08, archived)
# Excellent!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 23:34, archived)
# wow
(, Wed 20 Jul 2016, 8:38, archived)
# Hello.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:18, archived)
# :)
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:22, archived)
# so that's how he gets the hair like that
:D
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:24, archived)
# Got his technique down and everything.
Don't be ticklin' or nothin'.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:31, archived)
# Ah, while I'm here.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 16:36, archived)
#
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 16:36, archived)
# that's marvellous
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 16:40, archived)
# Topical ;)

(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 17:00, archived)
# Both are great.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 17:02, archived)
# Haha :D
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 19:33, archived)
# Haha I love both of these!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:08, archived)
# Brilliant
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:44, archived)
# Woo!
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:03, archived)
# cool
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:09, archived)
# Chinny-reckon-tastic©!
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 17:10, archived)
# Heroic chins have the right to roam.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 17:31, archived)
# wonderful
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 21:37, archived)
# Hello?
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 1:45, archived)
# Amazing!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:08, archived)
# Thanks for the FPs.
x.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 10:42, archived)
# Am I doing it right ?
Too soon ?


/Back to lurking
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 11:11, archived)
# OOF! Hull--->
In other news, has anyone informed the French sharpshooters that their vehicles have the steering wheel on the wrong side?
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 12:11, archived)
# I'm more puzzled as to why there's part of a hi-fi driving
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 12:15, archived)
# These are not the droids you are looking for...
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:01, archived)
# GNK riding shotgun, well spotted
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:06, archived)
# A GNK was also spotted on the Grassy Knoll
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 15:11, archived)
# "Okay, let's get this thing back to bass"
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:06, archived)
# The guy was moving about the cabin + cops not always 90° in front = angled shot
And before that the thing was swerving all over the place, hard to hit with a 9mm handgun at a distance.

Shooting is harder than in the movies, with my paintball gun, I miss the cats taking dumps in my garden and they are static, squatting, shitting and 10m away.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 19:51, archived)
# Get a flamethrower?
Best one I learnt for cats is a small bag full of water. Think sandwich bag \ freezer bag. Close hits then count.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 20:24, archived)
# Ok for the water,
but I don't understand how it could go exothermic.
I can't leave metalic sodium lying around.

Wouldn't peroxide be simpler?
The cat being the catalyst in the resulting reaction.

H2O2+Cat = 02+H2O+Heat+Carbon compounds = H2O+Burning cat+heat etc?
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 21:32, archived)
# It was an either\or suggestion
but I like where you are going with this.

Do be careful of chain reactions when the flaming cat leaps into the neighbour's garden...
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 13:30, archived)
# It's her cat
I'd throw a couple of petrol filled water balloons in after the cat.
As a compassionate measure.
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 20:40, archived)
# The road is named "Promenade des Anglais"
(litt : Walkway of the English )
They were expecting English drivers :o
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 20:06, archived)
# ohhhh fuck
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:10, archived)
# I know technically no subject is taboo on B3ta
But this is maybe a little too soon when children were among the dead

EDIT:Fuck me a surprising number of users names I've never seen before have appeared to disagree with me
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:44, archived)
# Everyone has their line, this might be yours
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 15:58, archived)
#
disagree. and the kids argument is not a massive one. soz
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 16:50, archived)
# I'd have to agree
Call me a sensitive old fuddyduddy if you must, must this is a bit too over the line for me.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 19:26, archived)
# I'm from Nice, born in the Hospital St Roch during the fucking carnival.
Anything to mock these beardy kiddy assassins gets my stamp of approval.

Get on with it.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 19:53, archived)
# I work with children
and they can't take humout THAT dark
Neither can my colleagues...
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 20:09, archived)
# Never too soon on B3ta
This is a British satirical humour site. We laughed at Hitler. We laugh at fear as a way of showing that we can knock back attacks like this.

I am half expecting to see a terrorist one day with a "Kick Me" post-it note on his back.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 20:30, archived)
# ah, I remember the Hitler image challenge from '39
dem were the days
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 21:13, archived)
# Exactly...
The Great Dictator [1940]
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 14:40, archived)
# Someone can't take the humout
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 20:39, archived)
# Agreed
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 22:11, archived)
# I think we have all wiped our hands on a beloved family pet
when there were no tissues available
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 22:25, archived)
# Fuck off.
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 0:00, archived)
# Ouch!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:09, archived)
# Nightmare!
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 23:09, archived)
# Ace
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 1:18, archived)
# haha!
*stampedes*
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 7:09, archived)
# :D
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 8:53, archived)
# Ha-ha!
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 13:22, archived)
# haha
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:10, archived)
# yup
:D
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 21:39, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:09, archived)
# Excellent!
(, Tue 19 Jul 2016, 8:53, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 17:50, archived)
# Nora Batty?
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 18:27, archived)
# A right bunch.
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 18:39, archived)
# WTF has Ryan Giggs done to deserve this?
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 19:10, archived)
# Inevitably (part 2)...
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 21:06, archived)
# Hahaha!!
Excellent Moley :)
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 23:04, archived)
# Is there a point to this?
It's not satire and it's not humour, it's just two politicians' faces put on to pictures of two people that the judge called "two sadistic killers of the utmost depravity".
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 10:15, archived)
# Theresa May sexually assaulted then killed several children, it was in the news recently. God, don't you know ANYTHING?
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 11:50, archived)
# That's the thing about judges, they're very judgemental.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:11, archived)
# Also: don't worry, it's been hidden away on the front page where no-one will see it.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 14:13, archived)
# I suppose that's my point, it doesn't warrant being front paged
The B3ta mantra is "Jokes are better than technique" - this is all technique and no joke.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 15:45, archived)
# Rob left a script running in his absence, it auto-FPs every sixth May faceswap.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 16:04, archived)
# It’s not my place to defend my work, or whether it merits a ‘Front Page’…
 
However, I will say my work centres on an interest in the universality of our biological make-up and landscape; combined with the collective sense of the sublime.

I hope it psychologically involves the viewer with the ‘making process’, provoking instinctive responses to their precarious assemblages.

My work on b3ta examines hesitation as part of the process of decision-making, where the object is neither the object of objecthood nor the art-object. It is rather the oblique object of my intentions. Somewhat like scratching your arse in public, then sniffing your fingers.
 
 
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 21:31, archived)
# Fuck this shit post more Jeremy the Annoying Horse!
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 9:10, archived)
# Your all gay
(, Mon 18 Jul 2016, 18:41, archived)
[challenge entry]

(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 16:37, archived)
# Is that sexy, topless pin-up Wogan?
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 18:01, archived)
# If it is...
He kept that quiet!
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 18:26, archived)
# Inevitably...
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 21:07, archived)
# Pissflaps?
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 3:32, archived)
# You take that back, young lady.
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 8:47, archived)
# Sorry, you looked like a lady from behind...
(, Sun 17 Jul 2016, 17:12, archived)
# New addon pack for PokemonGo teaches you how to tell the sex of your Pokemon

(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 15:40, archived)
# PokéBalls
:D
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 17:57, archived)
# No bumhole? I'm oot.
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 18:40, archived)
[challenge entry] he's pinched her lunchbox, the swine.
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 9:44, archived)
# Euphemism alert
(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 10:09, archived)
[challenge entry]

(, Sat 16 Jul 2016, 16:02, archived)

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