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[challenge entry] Goldilocks and the three bears


I feel quite ill. Pete
(I helped save b3ta! Pete Donaldson, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:41, archived)
# Argh..
..
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)
# Pete?
Can you hear us, Pete?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)
# Bleurgh
Bleuuuurgh
(I helped save b3ta! Pete Donaldson, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)
# Arrgh The Fear
Didn't realise this had been made before. Tsk.

(I helped save b3ta! Pete Donaldson, Sat 5 Apr 2003, 12:44, archived)
# Almost home time


Her Maj, getting ready for a night down the clubs.
(geetoo, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:39, archived)
# Grotbags?
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:41, archived)
# Has anyone ever shopped her?
She did one of the best renditions of "Gimme dat, gimme dat, gimme gimme gimme dat, gimme dat ting, gimme dat gimme gimme dat, etc" I have ever heard outside of the Pink Windmill.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:45, archived)
# gah!
that's hideous!
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:41, archived)
# yay
she wore that hat when she came to Norn Iron. She looked at our new Civic Centre, which is a monstrosity, and said, "It's beyond my imagination." The best put down ever, I thought.
(I helped save b3ta! mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:45, archived)
# ohhhhh
do u mean thatone in lisburn with the "water feature" that looks shit?
(i see red people, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:48, archived)
# wahay yer from norn iron
what about ye! hows yer belly off for blackheads
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 18:00, archived)
# Neolithic male stripper
(I helped save b3ta! JKF You ain't seen me, roit?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:38, archived)
# I thought
they weren't allowed to go from 0 to 60 though?
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# Very very
WOOSOME! w/y/h etc. etc.
(Melmite This is a MUMORPUGUH!, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# I love
the wink.
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:42, archived)
# He must be very smart
to fit his meat and two veg in that tiny thong
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)
# First bandwagon jump

and first helicopter pic....woo
(Melmite This is a MUMORPUGUH!, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# No
son of mine :)
(Mr Flibble, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:42, archived)
# Eh
Daughter you woosome sock puppet penguin you!
(Melmite This is a MUMORPUGUH!, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)
# I
stand corrected :)
(Mr Flibble, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)
# Roger Poultry
(squirrelandgman, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# no!
he's the only attractive one there! how could you headswap him? nicely done though...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# Oi! where's
me effing newletter
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# Do you pay
For the newsletter?

no.

Now Fack 'orf!
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# good
answer!
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:37, archived)
# Release the cheese!
.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# RELEASE THE CHEESE!
.
(I helped save b3ta! jazzman, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)
# Yes
That's why I have an icon.
(I helped save b3ta! man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# is that not
for the server and it's hosting? I don't think it's payment for the work people put into running this place. I'm sure the newsletter will be along when it's ready - it seems a bit off to demand it.
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:42, archived)
# it is indeed for the hosting.
If only we were paid.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)
# Let me guess
You used to program CPC464's?

I'm right aren't I?! I really really must get out more
(Mr Striding, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:42, archived)
# I was only asking
ya big angel finger
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# 'Angel finger'
hahahaha






You frickin' freak.
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:44, archived)
# you two -
get a room or a ring or summink.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)
# OOH i DON'T KNOW
You come in after a hard day walking up and down various mountains trying to thwart the forces of nature and being stared at by very suspect looking sheep and strangely dressed tourists in their flourescent goretex undergarments, looking forward to turning on the machine and reading with delight the wonderfulnewsletter and lawks almighty it's not there, despondant and lonely I ask where it is and am soundly lambasted, which is I suppose no worse than I deserve, so I'm attaching a hosepipe to my usb port in an effort to rid this board of the irritation which is my vile repulsive self
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)
# that's mild I was gonna give you the ultimate
ya big teapot polisher
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)
# hahahahaha
That is even better.






Culinary swearing piss pot
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)
# tootle of now
ya big weasle skinning ferret smuggler
(I helped save b3ta! Dill, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:54, archived)
# where did you
last see it?

It'll be in the last place you look.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# The Hong Kong Fluey has just been traced to its source.


* sorry *
(I helped save b3ta! Alfie, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# I never get to see your stuff
when I'm at work.
so I hope it's really rubbish
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)
# That's the best I've seen all day.
Cough, cough, heave.

*Slumps forward on commode*
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:52, archived)
# Bandewagon
time again...its singing Man

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
# haha
like batman smoking crack cocaine that is feckin nuts!
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:34, archived)
# At least he's
covered 'em up...
(I helped save b3ta! Duncan Disorderly, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)
# rather good...
roffles in extremis
www.rathergood.com/angel/
(r0yksopp, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:30, archived)
# You're taking the piss
right?
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:30, archived)
# what
do you think?
(r0yksopp, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
# Well as its gone 5pm




FUCK OFF!

(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
# I fucking love swearing, me
It's fanfuckingtabulous. In fact it's cunting magnificent.
(I helped save b3ta! Monkeyboy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:35, archived)
# Too
Shitting right!

Am off to pub in a mo'

mothafukkas!
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:38, archived)
# woo!
(I helped save b3ta! stup0t, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# we
named my son after him.

/not strictly true
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:45, archived)
# yet
a great idea!
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)
# on passed form
I'm left in half a mind
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# Are those leggings?
:OP
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# haha
you fucking loon!
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:34, archived)
# arf
glasscock of - hmm, about an hour ago.

still, could be quicker though, try harder.
(I helped save b3ta! djdirect, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# aaaargh ntl are shite!!!
I've been without tv or interweb all afternoon!

and this is all I've got to show for it...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
# pramfaced
ladies/
(felixthehat oh this is new, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:30, archived)
# pramfaced?
that's me and my sister...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:33, archived)
# Of course...
That's you on the left...
No. Right...
No. Left...
No. Right
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:38, archived)
# hee hee
that made me giggle, in an "is the indicator working" kinda way : )
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)
# Fret not
you seem to created something amusing!

Why don't you turn of your television set and go and do something less boring instead more often?
(I helped save b3ta! pagram, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
# I couldn't handle it!
it was worse than when b3ta and flibz were down at the same time! I ended up with a dvd on sitting playing solitaire...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:33, archived)
# I remember
that! I would prefer B£TA 1 to BBC 1
(Smudger, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:36, archived)
# is that scarbrough station?
(I helped save b3ta! Happyperson, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:42, archived)
# nope
Edinburgh Waverley, platform 11
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:44, archived)
# fair enough.
will we be seeing you at the easter bash?
(I helped save b3ta! Happyperson, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:45, archived)
[challenge entry] George Bush
(dannyhope, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:26, archived)
# I
can't quite see that
(cattleprod, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:26, archived)
# bloody nora...
thats a spicy meatball!

edit: you've posted 4 messages in 1 year 90 days? crumbs. i thought i was shy..
(I helped save b3ta! djdirect, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:26, archived)
# make it a bit
bigger so it can go on the front page
(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:27, archived)
# hahahaha
Sorry but the biting comments made to this post are making me larf!
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# whats the matter
with his neck?
(psausage76, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:27, archived)
# I think he tried
to see the whole of the image in one go.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:30, archived)
# cough.
laugh. good effort tho dude. must buy a bigger monitor. like them ones at footie stadiums.
(felixthehat oh this is new, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# Shouldn't that read
Forest Gimp
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
# Forrest Gimp
But YES!!! That would be it...
(Divvy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:35, archived)
# aaargh!!
that's huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuj!
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
[challenge entry] Chicken Lickin'
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:26, archived)
# cow tongue
yuck
(psausage76, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:28, archived)
# im bored.


sue me.
(felixthehat oh this is new, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:25, archived)
# Mondrian?
edit: Sorry I meant Modigliani
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:28, archived)
# fridian.
pubbian.
(felixthehat oh this is new, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
# see what I meant
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)
# did someone say
mondrian?


/repost
(I helped save b3ta! stup0t, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:41, archived)
# See that
that's class. Culture and meme seamless blending into a conceptual masterpiece*

*sorry, momentary gush
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)
# Ian Yeek
Yan Ieek or Yan Yeek. I can't decide.
(I helped save b3ta! pagram, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
# prob done before
but hey you should be out on the piss and not wasting your time looking at this dirty quick potatoship.
(Murun Buchstansangur's hairpiece, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:23, archived)
# haha
If it's been done, I've not seen it!

Woo

Yay

Houpla

!!!
(Divvy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:39, archived)
# Well duh!
(I helped save b3ta! sp3ktor - no,.. I don't know either, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:21, archived)
# hahaha
illegal

pfft
(Divvy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:23, archived)
# Eh.. I must have missed something
Anyway... time to brave the fantastic M4 back to London.

l8rz l4m£rZ! ur all gay
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:23, archived)
# it's funny
'cause it's true :)
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:27, archived)
# ooh geeky
but good
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:24, archived)
# Don't get it
/idiot
(I helped save b3ta! xian, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
# Does it need
an explanation then?
(I helped save b3ta! sp3ktor - no,.. I don't know either, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
# file
swapping....illegal...

well i think thats what it applies to...
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# Ahem!
Klite!
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# What was that...
Did you say something that you may wish to expand upon?
(I helped save b3ta! sp3ktor - no,.. I don't know either, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:35, archived)
# k-lite.tk
and never look back.
(I helped save b3ta! EvS, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:37, archived)
[challenge entry] Hey, I know you! Aren't you the Marquis of Carabas?


[edit]And thanks to chthonic and popt for the offers of house-space! :D We'll be fine, but you're Very Nice to offer.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:19, archived)
# heheh
I love that cat!

Have an Ian Paisley
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:22, archived)
# he's smug isn't he.
I've been saving him for some sort of particularly smug imagery.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:24, archived)
# He`s a
"Tony Danker", as we used to say in school.

Tony Danker was incidentally also a Tony Danker. Oooh recursive Tony Dankerism.

Bye bye :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:25, archived)
# well then
I'll offer too, seeing as I know you won't accept...
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:24, archived)
# too
kind. We'll be over in about 1/2 hour, is that okay for you? Oh and the cats are a bit sick (what with all the stress) so they might pong a bit. You'll easily spot us coming up the road, we've had to strap the 8-foot-tall fertility statue from the front room to the roof of the car.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:27, archived)
# er, fine
you're not allergic to disturbed asbestos are you?
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:34, archived)
# me too.
you wouldn't want to stay where I live, mutter mutter. Takes a million bloody miles to get anywhere, which is why i didn't offer, as the rejection sometimes hurts, like salt in a wound.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:28, archived)
# nice
and a sinister hat to boot! :)
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:25, archived)
# Puss In Boots
is truly fantastic. I bought this copy for my girlfriend a few months ago, much recommended.
(I helped save b3ta! Monkeyboy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:26, archived)
# I like
Angela Carter's version. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:28, archived)
# that's a brill one
puss in boots! fantastic name, the marquis of carabas!
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:26, archived)
# Rrrrrraunch!


for da neeeeooolithic laydeeez



[edit] now with sexy eyebrow action
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! littlebean, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:18, archived)
# Hurrah!!
Can he make them go the opposite way?
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:19, archived)
# even as a bloke
that really turns me on...
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:20, archived)
# HAHA
:-D
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:21, archived)
# woo
would I?
(I helped save b3ta! sosumi, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# that's very funny!!!
lovely gyrating.. lovely.. hurrah!
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:32, archived)
# Letter to Dog Island.
Dear Pegi

would like to ask if I can send my Dalmatian,
>Cuddles, to your island. It is with much sadness that I contemplate even thinking of sending my faithful companion to total strangers.

Perusing your website, I carefully noted the
information, and upon your reply I will be in touch on the number included on your website. I would like to remain anonymous throughout any phase of the 'transfer' if humanly possible.

I don't want to go on too much, but I feel I should explain my situation with Cuddles. He is gay. Please don't label me a homophobe, I am not. It's just that my wife and family complain constantly about his admittedly flamboyant behaviour. He also masterbates
himself orally in the house, and dog semen is such a stubborn stain.

I think the final straw has been Cuddles' relationship with a Cairn terrier across the way. They anally penetrate each other whenever they get out, and my grandchildren have even witnessed this. How do you explain that to a child? My wife says it was because he was dropped on his head as a puppy, but I jus think he likes it.

It is also quite embarrasing while trying to walk him,if you let him off the lead, he will attempt to insert his penis into the mouths of other dogs. He only does this with other male dogs. I have even had to pay extensive vets bills for a toy daschund whose jaw was dislocated during a particularly vigorous attack.

As you see, pressures from my own human society have forced me to ask you to accept Cuddles onto dog island. Maybe you have even had similar letters on the subject? The only information I ask of you, at this stage, would be to know if the other dogs might attack him because he is a gay? Is there some training method I could use to try to make him a bit more butch? And finally, if there might even be a gay island for similar dogs? I really would appreciate it if he could live among others of his kind. He really is a most loving
dog.

Yours algoyo
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:17, archived)
# Can you
At least animate it or something?
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:18, archived)
# ah, but
it's actually a Jpeg
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:20, archived)
# I can't.
I don't have any arms.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:20, archived)
# just
a load of cobblers, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:21, archived)
# Yes.
Great big dalmation cobblers.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:25, archived)
# No offence but
could you summarise in 5 words or less for me? My eyes are boggled up and I can't read anything today.
(I helped save b3ta! dr_fonz, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:18, archived)
# gay dog
(I helped save b3ta! Happyperson, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:22, archived)
# Make it stop!
It's like the web version of sitting next to a guy on the bus who insists on telling you about his budgies.
(I helped save b3ta! Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:19, archived)
# That was you on the bus
but you seemed so interested
(Mattyboy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:21, archived)
# .
www.virtualbudgieman.com
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:25, archived)
# .
I clicked
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:27, archived)
# Why
did
I
Click
that
?
?
?
?
(Mattyboy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:28, archived)
# ha ha
your dalmation's Bumgay!!!
points and laughs
(I helped save b3ta! Monkeyboy, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:21, archived)
# too much text
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:29, archived)
# I'm sorry.
I am imprisoned in text daily. I yearn for the image rich resource that is b3ta.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:31, archived)
[challenge entry] Modern day fairy tales...

...should get kids interested in politics.
(I helped save b3ta! Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:16, archived)
# I much likey
that
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 17:17, archived)

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