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This is a link post 38 stone couple 'asked to balance plane'
A couple of holidaymakers who weighed 38 stone between them were told they were too heavy for their plane to take off.
 (I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:31, Reply)
This is a normal post she dropped six dress sizes to become a size 14?
geez!
 (I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:43, Reply)
This is a normal post We need to embarrass more lard lovers
Cruel to be kind seems to work!
 (I helped save b3ta! Mx-Dr Trying to be somewhere between an ape and a robot., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:56, Reply)
This is a link post awwww, man punches shark in face to save dog
found via Cuteoverload
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:22, Reply)
This is a normal post Yay!
Don't get between a man and his dog.
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:34, Reply)
This is a normal post The fact that he punched a shark
makes him a legend in itself

But the fact he did it to save his dog, makes him a God-like character!
 (I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:50, Reply)
This is a normal post What film is it where someone punches a shark in the face?
It's niggling me.
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:01, Reply)
This is a normal post Deep Blue Sea?
Samuel Jackson repeatedly punches a shark in the face, whilst he's being noshed on. Could be wrong though
 (I helped save b3ta! LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:07, Reply)
This is a normal post Jackson beats up no shark
he just looks faintly ridiculous.

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yMwmqp3GLMc
 (Cap'n, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:14, Reply)
This is a normal post Not seen that...
Something more obscure and ridiculous, I'm sure.
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:53, Reply)
This is a normal post In Batman the Movie
they use Shark Repellant Spray, but I think Adam West might hit one a few times as he's scaling the BatLadder upto the BatCopter
 (I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 17:11, Reply)
This is a normal post zombie flesh eaters
zombie vs shark!!!
 (I helped save b3ta! Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:30, Reply)
This is a link post British-Hitler with his army of bag headz NSFW
..well, the title says it all.

NSFW due to misplaced racism.
 (I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:03, Reply)
This is a normal post ?

(Cap'n, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:11, Reply)
This is a normal post despite all that
it's GC
 (I helped save b3ta! buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:01, Reply)
This is a link post Joe Kinnear's Rant
Transcript & Audio of JK's rant to the press - pure gold!
 (I helped save b3ta! Random Image Yes, yes, I'll speak to you on Monday, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:44, Reply)
This is a normal post awesome!
you might also like this link
www.b3ta.com/links/Classy_football_press_conference
it's just 4 links down.
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:54, Reply)
This is a normal post
anyone watch Football Focus last Saturday when he swore Live?
 (I helped save b3ta! awallafashagba Da da da da da Dah dah, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:15, Reply)
This is a normal post haha yep.
he's a legend.
 (I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:41, Reply)
This is a link post The Labour Party Rock Band
In honour of Peter Mandelson.
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:22, Reply)
This is a normal post hahahaha
classic, but what's with the gimp/tv station its recorded from?
 (I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:34, Reply)
This is a normal post dunno
I tried to find a copy without it but couldn't
 (I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:58, Reply)
This is a link post Bear likes Subway sandwiches

(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)
This is a normal post And then get shot for doing so :(

(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:21, Reply)
This is a normal post Wait...
they euthanised it?

Seems a bit harsh.
 (Smelch God says I'm a Pirate now. Yarr!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:22, Reply)
This is a normal post ^This.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Hardly euthanasia. Being hungry isn't a disease.

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Indeed. Odd choice of word.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Agree. They murdered it.
I would have thought a simple ASBO would suffice.
 (I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
This is a normal post but
at least they didn't bumrape it to death.
 (I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:35, Reply)
This is a normal post the bear was so desperate it was eating at subway
reckon that qualifies it as a mercy killing
 (Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:44, Reply)
This is a normal post heh

Edit: he got shot?
poor bugger only had one more subway stamp before he could get a free footlong
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:27, Reply)
This is a normal post He would have died from hypertension soon then, anyway.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
This is a normal post ROFL

(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:59, Reply)
This is a link post Morecambe in "Not a shithole" shock

(I helped save b3ta! Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:15, Reply)
This is a normal post Morecambe is indeed a shithole

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:59, Reply)
This is a normal post I've just been reading Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson
And apparently Morecamble used to be quite the place with many cinemas, music halls and what not many years ago. But then Blackpool became the crappy party capital of that area.

Still, I've been to neither, though Blackpool sounds wank.
 (I helped save b3ta! LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Fantastic book
His take on Weston Super Mare is excellent.

I love BB.
 (I helped save b3ta! IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:39, Reply)
This is a normal post no its not
it used to be, i was last up there a couple of months back . the place is definately improving.
the true arsehole of lancashire is blackpool.
 (discodaz *generic witty comment*, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:59, Reply)
This is a normal post Ryhl

(I helped save b3ta! acab, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:24, Reply)
This is a normal post LOL, but it's lacking a
Helicopter landing pad

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=imOt19j8K4U
 (I helped save b3ta! buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)
This is a link post A DS game
Worringly called Pony Luv and aimed at young girls.
 (Bumperboy Kittens Can Kill, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:55, Reply)
This is a link post Classy football press conference
The first three lines kind of sum up the rest of the interview
 (I helped save b3ta! OldWhit, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:52, Reply)
This is a normal post ha ha wow!
That is some unbridled hatred going on there. But nice to see someone bowling the press a googlie for a change.
Edit: But I agree with KW down there, that this will NOT do him any favours, and the North East and UK press will just take greater pleasure in tearing him a new bumhole over the coming months.
 (I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:58, Reply)
This is a normal post the problem is
the press will just wear him down.
Press in the uk is increadible.
literally.

i hope he does have a press conference every week, where he just calls them cunts.
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:10, Reply)
This is a normal post That would make for GREAT televison...
*flash bulbs pop* men in cheap suits take seats behind a table... "Ok gentleman we will take questions but first the manager would like to call you a shower of cunts"

CUNTS!!!!!!
 (I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:14, Reply)
This is a normal post CUNTS!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)
This is a normal post
FFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 (I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:30, Reply)
This is a normal post Arf!
Shame there isn't a video!
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)
This is a normal post bwahahahahahaha
that's fucking ace.

Which one's Simon Bird?

Me.

You're a cunt.

Thank you.



LOVE IT!!
 (I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)
This is a normal post It's the last bit
that's the funniest.

Slagging them all off and then saying "I've loved every moment of it."!!
 (I helped save b3ta! Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:49, Reply)
This is a normal post This
HARD
 (I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Heard it on "Today" this morning.
With all the bleeps, I thought for a moment that they were interviewing R2D2.
 (I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:01, Reply)
This is a normal post ha!

(I helped save b3ta! awallafashagba Da da da da da Dah dah, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:14, Reply)
This is a normal post Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:37, Reply)
This is a normal post Hahaha Excellent!
No point sitting on the fence, just let it all out man!
 (I helped save b3ta! LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:27, Reply)
This is a link post Shave I made this!
Beard removal technology, by me, featuring my hideous visage.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:39, Reply)
This is a normal post Oh come on....
No offence but that makes JacobDyerMedia look like feckin Pixar.
 (I helped save b3ta! MrGomez and David Bellamy's big pubey beard, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:42, Reply)
This is a normal post Well,
now I know how he feels. :)
 (I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
This is a normal post I thought something was going to happen :(
I demand CG beard effects! :D
 (I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:44, Reply)
This is a normal post Put some Benny Hill music under it
and some hot chicks
 (I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:47, Reply)
This is a normal post Or the Eastenders theme ;)

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:12, Reply)
This is a normal post LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:16, Reply)
This is a normal post I thought you were great in eastenders!
:0)
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:11, Reply)
This is a normal post Everyone keeps saying I look like him.
Don't see it myself.
 (I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:17, Reply)
This is a normal post I liked the tune
and considered shaving my beard off - brain says no - cold winds are coming
 (thereisnopoons until, Sun 5 Oct 2008, 23:13, Reply)
This is a link post Expense Allowance Abuse by MEPs
MEP's sign in and leave at Friday, earning about 250,- euro's. SHAME!
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:28, Reply)
This is a link post Tsk! Kids nowadays dont know they're born!
I just got to feed carrots to a donkey at Cleethorpes when I was 7.
 (I helped save b3ta! Beejay Proper old bastard, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:23, Reply)
This is a normal post Look just down the page!

(I helped save b3ta! McMookMac Crush Proof, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)
This is a normal post doesn't anyone even read the links page anymore?
these aren't your bookmarks you know.

and pick my toys up!
they've fallen out of my pram.
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:18, Reply)
This is a normal post What's this black one with "Mamba" written on it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:29, Reply)
This is a normal post *blush*
it's for my neck.
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:55, Reply)
This is a normal post It smells funny.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:02, Reply)
This is a link post Election nonsense, Star Wars edition :) I made this!

(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)
This is a normal post Haha!
nice touch with the picture on the wall
 (I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Hello.
You're made of videos these days, are you?
 (I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:26, Reply)
This is a normal post the scream was a nice touch
:)
 (I helped save b3ta! amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:54, Reply)
This is a normal post
nice that you spotted it :)
 (I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:02, Reply)
This is a normal post Aces :D
Can you do one with Sarah Palin as a Wampa next? ;)
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:04, Reply)
This is a normal post Haha!
Great work HT.
 (I helped save b3ta! greedydave cries when he wanks, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:33, Reply)
This is a normal post This is FANTASTIC!
*Expected more comments.
*Wanted fight scene
*Would have shaouted "kick him in the nuts"
"bum him while he's down"
etc
 (I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:46, Reply)
This is a normal post
i just clicked it... couldnt think of anything witty to say
 (I helped save b3ta! Azathoth thinks my name isn't so bad..., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:06, Reply)
This is a link post Death Star over San Francisco
Rather awesome homemade vid of Imperial Invasion!
(CoggShugger Hand me the keys, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
This is a normal post This is the work of HappyToast, is it not?
Bloody ace stuff!

edit: nevermind, he just posted it :P
 (I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:10, Reply)
This is a normal post
no, I'd have done it much better ;)
 (I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:16, Reply)
This is a normal post that is wonderful
reminds me very much of this, made a good few years ago
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNReejO7Zu8
 (I helped save b3ta! KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:17, Reply)
This is a normal post hehe, been on here several times, still excellent :)

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:18, Reply)
This is a link post geoff capes tosses people
he used to be the strongest man in the world
now he breeds budgies and weighs a tonne
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:06, Reply)
This is a normal post He knocked me out with a rugger ball when I was a boy.
I used to play with his son, Lewis.
 (I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
This is a normal post Incidentally Riggers, old boy
I do hope that this appears on www.ratedpeople.com/ somewhere?
 (I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:21, Reply)
This is a normal post I met him in a greengrocers in Eccles.
Top bloke.
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:06, Reply)
This is a normal post meh...
Geoff Capes tossing people off....now THAT would be a video!
 (I helped save b3ta! Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:23, Reply)
This is a link post Shower Power: Bathroom handles for bathroom bangin’. NSFW
Could be NSFW

This suction handle takes the imminent doom out of shower sex. This large black handle has amazing suction power: we stuck it to a desk at the office, and had a hell of a time trying to peel it off. Your girlfriend can hang on to the Shower Power for better balance, or you can grip it for extra … shower power. Shower Power travels well, and can be used on any tile or glass surface: in the car, at the office, in a stall at a local fast food joint, anywhere you need a little extra control or balance.
 (I helped save b3ta! Random Image Yes, yes, I'll speak to you on Monday, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:45, Reply)
This is a normal post These are fantastic for removing single-paned windows without breaking them.
I didn't know they could be used for sex.
 (sorry., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:54, Reply)
This is a normal post I have a window-pane removing fetish

(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:03, Reply)
This is a normal post Kinky...!

(I helped save b3ta! Random Image Yes, yes, I'll speak to you on Monday, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:08, Reply)
This is a link post Tarzan denies he has a monkey to some Vikings I made this!


Mr Wheatley suggested we do somethng along these lines. I think we'll do some more of them, it's fun. Hooray for Tarzan. He's a fucking moron.
 (I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:35, Reply)
This is a normal post Haha!
I'll have what you're drinking.
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:08, Reply)
This is a normal post That monkey sounds suspiciously like the Queen...

(rocketship s can be used to leave the Earth., Sun 5 Oct 2008, 9:06, Reply)
This is a link post Ladies and Gentlemen the many voices of Mr. Serafinowicz! I made this!
We dun another funny. This time with Mr. Peter Serafinowicz. This is him impersonating 50 uncelebrities - in 2 mins.

www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/cd2462fae2
 (tedriley74 says hello., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:33, Reply)
This is a normal post This is not the place to slag off other members' work. If I don't like it, don't say anything, and don't click "I like this".
Boo on those rules. I hated this, and not only am I refusing to keep my silence, I'm also going to click I like this! How are you going to deal with that, b3ta?!





/irony
 (sorry., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:51, Reply)
This is a normal post Am I the only one who got this?
*clicks*
 (I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:12, Reply)
This is a normal post hahahahahahahahaha!
this guy is so much funnier than his series suggested
 (I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:19, Reply)
This is a normal post hahahah very good, I agree he is much better than his series denotes

(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:38, Reply)
This is a normal post Christmas Special
I am looking forward too.
 (I helped save b3ta! moogy boobles, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 20:03, Reply)
This is a normal post AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhaaa

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:33, Reply)
This is a normal post \o/

(I helped save b3ta! notmoro and mrnotmoro : formerly Ishamael and his Missus, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:57, Reply)
This is a normal post As I speak
my husband is sat near his Mum. Peter is a very nice man irl.
 (I helped save b3ta! moogy boobles, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 19:58, Reply)
This is a link post Boy kills zoo animals
Sounds like a serial killer in the making...
 (I helped save b3ta! Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:03, Reply)
This is a normal post Oh fer fucks sake
That does not bode well for his future...
 (I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:17, Reply)
This is a normal post It's a shame
that he didn't get eaten by the croc.
 (I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Little bastard
His parents should give him such a kicking he can't walk properly for a week.
Still, better than the kid who set his stepsisters on fire, right?
 (Caustic Armadillo consists at least 30% out of custard, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 10:32, Reply)
This is a normal post Stick the little twat in with the crocodiles
See how he likes it.
 (I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 11:20, Reply)
This is a link post SAW medley as performed by Israeli drag queens
To assuage Rob's SAW fetish.

I'd Rather Jack kicks off 4 mins in.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 9:11, Reply)

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