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Virgin complaint letter
Quite funny, probably already seen by everyone here, but for those that haven't.
It distracted me from my daily routine for 5 minutes anyway...
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flapmeister knows where your mum lives, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:36,
Reply)
Everybody likes mustard Richard.
Classic.
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M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:48,
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Aye, tis glasscock
but still very amusing :)
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Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:49,
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hahaha I've never seen it before
*mental notes for when I construct my strongly worded letter to London Midland trians*
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:27,
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Oh god
this is good. Popular on the Indian lines, no doubt
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Haz, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:29,
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GC but genius
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WormuIus, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 17:02,
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human trebuchet
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the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:11,
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fricken
awesome
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Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:57,
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Ha!
What the fuck?!
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LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:00,
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I WANNA GO!!!
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:33,
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They're British
Is this the lot that catapulted the middle-aged woman who hit the net but then fell out of it and broke her neck?
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applehead herp derp, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:25,
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Elvis portrait...made of Wotsits
It's like a Big Art Attack but without Neil Buchanan spoiling it by gurning.
Oh, and there's cheese...lots of cheese
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the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:57,
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Aaahh..
aaah.. ahchoo!
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The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:02,
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Wozits.
You know they're bad for you. You're not even sure why you're enjoying them.
Yet give me a pack, no matter what the size, and those suckers are going down.
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Metalfish Hasn't had a sig since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:19,
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HaHaHaHaHa!
:D
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LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:24,
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They make me sick
the smell, the texture and they way they melt in your teeth, the orange stuff you get on your fingers...., *shudder*. Its making me feel ill just thinking about it.
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:27,
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^^ this
They just don't have any property which seems even vaguely food-like
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:32,
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When I had braces on my teefs,
soup and wotsits were all I could eat.
Nom nom nom...
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Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:38,
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You are the new Pam Ayres
AICMFP
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DogHorse plop, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:18,
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Oh, God...
Wasn't the old one enough?
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:29,
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Bumptop
I love TED, and I want this.
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Pew Pew Pew! Lasers! wannabe Gong Farmer, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:47,
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I'm not so thrilled.
just feels like more memory stealing desktop-bling to be honest
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The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:49,
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I'm not so thrilled...
just feels like you've took it a little seriously to be honest.
it's meant to be a joke right?
Edit: Oh, my mistake...it's not a joke!
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MrGomez and David Bellamy's big pubey beard, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:16,
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BumpTop seems real enough - due for release in April this year, or so they say
I'd quite like a go on this bumptop desktop. I manage to make my Windows desktop feel as (un)organised as my physical desktop anyway, and would be nice to have that 3d feel to it.
Also, I'm a sucker for gadgets and things that look pretty
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LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:22,
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Signed up for the beta of this over a year ago
and got into it last week.
It's allright, a little resource hoggy and hard to use. The novelty wore off after 5 minutes or so.
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mrcheese989, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:49,
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Am it Cheese tiem yet.
Cheesy 90s electro pop - check
Sexah dancing babes in denim mini skirts - check
A porno mustacheioed man who should know better - check
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:28,
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oh
it's italian
so this might as well be last year then?
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The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:31,
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It could be,
but its definitely circa 1995.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:36,
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I know
was just kidding :)
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The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:39,
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;-)
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:50,
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needs more splits
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Sacamacamojo was lurking right up until, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:14,
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Everybody's Heard About The Words
I made this!
WFMU are having a contest to see who can come up with the best remix of Elizabeth Alexander's piss poor inauguration poem. Here's my entry.
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Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:18,
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Utter genius!
Woo and Yay and have one of those rare Houplas as well.
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xandmi, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:33,
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Arf!
Nicely! I think that is possibly the worst poem I have ever heard in my life....
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Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:41,
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O freddled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me
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xandmi, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:45,
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As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee
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Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:56,
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Do you think
we could stabilize the next 00547 and split our flight path tententially across a summit vector of 9gx78 with a 5 degree inertial correction?
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JamTallons, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:27,
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Or we could just use the teleporter.
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Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:34,
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Come on, this is a complete fiction
nobody's ever actually gone round Hyde Park Corner on a moped and survived...
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Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:36,
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^ Hahaha
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occassionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.
Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings
Greenbridge
Essex
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Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:56,
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Is that the girl who Adams called
the worst poet in the universe?
Excellent :D
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chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:24,
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amusingly
it's originally a poem that one of his friends wrote in primary school
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Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:37,
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here's leelee sobieski's effort to capture 9/11
This Day And All The Rest
One day.
One.
More than another.
The other,
that day,
those people,
too many,
too personal,
but not.
People you know know,
but you yourself know not.
Crashing down,
all frown,
hurting,
walking,
silently screaming,
slowly running,
often feeling nothing.
Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
seeing those trapped inside.
Cry.
Cry.
It's OK.
It's not OK.
Smile if it's natural
Feel alive.
The president speaks,
The situation reeks an act of war.
I enter my room, close the door
Sit here.
Here where buildings do not fall to the floor.
we young will experience much more
future, liberty, the freedom to mope about in poetry.
My brother I love you.
Old friends and family too.
Safe for now glad to know I'm alive with all of you.
Feel what is real feel later heal.
One.
One person feeling the same as all the rest.
Please let us act and do what is best.
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the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 16:44,
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Still loading...
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:41,
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and still...
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:43,
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done ;-)
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:45,
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Post it on /board. OH GOD POST IT ON /BOARD.
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TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:47,
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I would have to make it BIGGAR firtst ;-)
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:50,
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wait for it
it's worth it.
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dingodrum Drums 'n that., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:46,
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Its mighty impressive, I admit.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:46,
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Its replaced the memory of all those sad ickly flowers
from when saint diana died.
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Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:06,
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Hardest "Where's Wally"
Ever
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Gooch Is neither here nor there, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:06,
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He's sitting in the ex-president's chair.
*satire*
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Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:27,
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Its not big enough
Is there anyway to make this larger, say about a gig?
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lord turkey boy and the cleft of venus, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:11,
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A pop up message told me to come back next week when it's done!
Go on! I double dare you to post it on the board! :-)
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Darklord, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:23,
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Dunno what you lot are moaning about
It loaded for me in under a minute :)
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redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:25,
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ohh get you and your big bandwidths
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Kaplaaah Wasting time on the net since 1994., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:37,
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What Britney Really Sounds Like
Possibly GC.
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elgriff gonna whittle you into kindlin', Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:18,
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haha
Noone can sing whilst jumping about like that, but tbh I didn't think it would sound that bad, awful!
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:27,
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i suspect
that this is why she mimes a lot (mind you lots do) and with no need to sound good or otherwise, there's no effort involved, and also she can't hear her own voice..
most artists (and people in general) don't sing in pitch if they can't hear their own voice
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ganainm, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:41,
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Truly Diabolical.
Although, she is looking pretty good in most of it.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:39,
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is that a roundabout way of saying
"would" ?
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ganainm, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:42,
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...
the little bask thing she is wearing when she takes that robe off. Definitively.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:45,
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wouldn't
the basque get in the way? =-D
or do you mean you would with the basque on it's own? ;-)
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ganainm, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:47,
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I'd find a way in,
dont worry.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:51,
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nice.
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dingodrum Drums 'n that., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:54,
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=-D
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ganainm, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:54,
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heh
Its funny but completely unsurprising - nobody can sing and move around like that, she'll be completely out of breath.
Also she'll have no foldback, and hence would not be able to hear her own voice - imagine a deaf person trying to sing. It can't be done.
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Pew Pew Pew! Lasers! wannabe Gong Farmer, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:42,
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Opera singers manage it
and they don't have microphones.
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simon shitting mason, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:48,
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Oi, that's my cousin you're having a pop at!
Really, it is....
But, crumbs cuz, sort it out. Stop bouncing and sing a little.
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dingodrum Drums 'n that., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:45,
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LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
I wonder if there are any recordings like this of other singers, and whether anyone would care if it wasn't used to make the singer look/sound bad?
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ganainm, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:58,
Reply)
There's a classic one of
Linda McCartney
blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2006/03/audio_hoaxes_an.html
How's that for contemporary.
Just in case you read the URL first, the author isn't sure if it's a hoax or not.
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Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:56,
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"Viva la music, and say you'll be mine"
reminded me of Enrique:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2EkE-WFUhA
.
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xandmi, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:38,
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ah
point proven
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ganainm, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:51,
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Blogger vents about Adobe UI's
Pretty amusing for a bit....
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bathtub has renounced CS3 for paint.net, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:05,
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Wow!
WTF are Adobe smoking? I was going to try out CS4, but I don't think I will now tbh.
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:21,
Reply)
BIKINI APOCALYPSE!
I made this!

Moon-Gal has to save the Earth in fifty-one hours or less.
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Colonel Deer-Heart Stand by for action., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:58,
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ha ha ha
fucking mental as always
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amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:28,
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maybe I need stronger pills?
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Colonel Deer-Heart Stand by for action., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:09,
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Brilliant
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Hellzapoppin, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:31,
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Well if you liked that don't forget to tune in next week, when there will be twice as many giant robots!
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Colonel Deer-Heart Stand by for action., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:43,
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wicked!!!!!
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queen of the four strings, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 19:25,
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Why posting images of yourself breaking the law online is a bad idea
The Police have search the internet too.
(chavs pose with knives online, police find them and arrest them)
Surely the point of breaking the law is to leave as little evidence as possible?
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Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:54,
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the one on the left would get some cock.
the one on the right........
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Just Flange, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:56,
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how they got the idea
so one day one of those officers was fiddling about on facebook, then the superior officer asks her
"hey why aren't you working?"
and in a moment of inspiration she's like
"but I'm looking for criminals"
and that's how you become a crime-fighting-hero
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bucsie, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:49,
Reply)
some
"photo editor" (clearly doesn't know much about etiquette...but then you look on and he has daily mail involvements) on flickr has pissed off a few with this stalkerish photo.
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moogy boobles, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:18,
Reply)
Heh,
thats Richard Ayoade[pskfdf (what ever the fuck his name is)
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:20,
Reply)
Demanding cat
I made this!
My wife's cat loves being stroked so much he demands to be stroked by pulling your hand towards his head...
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Zetsumetsu, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:51,
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awww he's fluffy!
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Mrs Sp@m, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:54,
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He has a bigger plan
He's drawing you in...
By the end of the year, he'll be running tings in that house...
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Darklord, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:18,
Reply)
Awwwwwwhaaaaawwwwwww.....
So cute. My cat also craves affection. Well...I say "my" cat...it's actually a neighbours. I stole it. In a way.
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Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:29,
Reply)
Maxi?
Isn't that a size of press on towel? (which incidentally are another thing that make better pets than cats!)
DOGS4EVA!
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:05,
Reply)
Is is more demanding than mine?
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OqYCsxEvcZA
*posts it AGAIN!*
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:29,
Reply)
Treat em mean and keep em keen
you massive tease ;)
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Hellzapoppin, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 14:34,
Reply)
Dr who vs benny hill vs Eminem
something for everyone.
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Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:31,
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oddly
compulsive
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Sacamacamojo was lurking right up until, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:46,
Reply)
This is the best thing I've seen all day
and I've been up since 6am.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:29,
Reply)
this is brilliant
i don't believe how well it works!
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augsav, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 15:57,
Reply)
The post down there reminded me of this
- i'm getting all verklempt, talk amongst yourselves
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the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:01,
Reply)
Photographs of Bush with an excellent article besides.
What more can I say - it is superb.
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LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:52,
Reply)
Brilliant
thanks for sharing :)
Great insights by the photographers - I had never seen some of those pictures either, cheers.
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Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:39,
Reply)
Superb
Thank you for that
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thereisnopoons until, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 22:00,
Reply)
Mr Fry describes Twitter...
Why he is not a sir or lord. I'd be happy with him as my lord and master.
Do you think he B3ta's?
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nowimboard shouted "Bring On The Trumpets!" at, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 7:51,
Reply)
Yes, he does
*impersonates for interweb kudos*
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DrPrunesquallor is determined to post more as of, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:49,
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If its good enough for Sir Fry,
then its worth giving it a shot.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:59,
Reply)
Night of a Thousand Jews
Jews and their Jewy names! Gotta love em.
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AgentMuu hentai coordination, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 4:29,
Reply)
hahahahahahhahaha
ahahahahahahah
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Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 6:25,
Reply)
Red Dwarf is back (for a limited time only)
about time too
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Just Some Guy Is just some guy., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:34,
Reply)
Really? I hate to be the one to say this but it will most likely be utter shit
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:36,
Reply)
You may very well be right
But I will still watch it even if it is as bad as series 8
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Just Some Guy Is just some guy., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:41,
Reply)
Yeah same as
But it is a crushing disappointment to watch something that used to be funny turn into utter crap a la the time-travelling blackadder thing
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:42,
Reply)
I watched a documentary about Blackadder,
they strangely avoided to even mention or hint at the time traveling episodes.
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@RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:34,
Reply)
New Shooting Stars worked out alright.
Although I share your trepidation with this.
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elephant rider property shark sighted!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 3:37,
Reply)
The last series was rubbish.
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Zuowan, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 10:20,
Reply)
It says 'Including Craig Charles'
but makes no mention of Chris Barrie. It was rubbish after he left. I hope they don't make it with the cast they finished the last series with.
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meat2veg hello!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:40,
Reply)
new Kochanski can get to fuck
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:43,
Reply)
new
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mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 4:22,
Reply)
It has the original 4
no holly or kochanski
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executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 3:37,
Reply)
Holly was one of the original 4 -Kryten in series 3
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 4:20,
Reply)
you nerd!
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:39,
Reply)
yeah i know, I have a special stick for fighting off all the girls
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boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 13:04,
Reply)
It has to be Norman Lovett for me
rather than Hattie Hayridge though....
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Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 12:12,
Reply)
re warf?
I don't get it?
dave.uktv.co.uk/library/red-dwarf/red-dwarf-returns-earth-dave/
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Elvis of Nazareth This isn't a sig, it's a fucking liberty., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:48,
Reply)
yeah thats kind of odd.
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tedster, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:38,
Reply)
It's written and directed by Doug Naylor...
AKA the one who isn't Rob Grant. AKA the one who was responsible for the pox-riddled laugh-free cringe-fests that were Series 7 and 8.
It might be good. You never know. But let's face it...it won't be.
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Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 11:35,
Reply)
Sexy Sexy People
They really are very sexy.
SFW.
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gronkpan, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 1:37,
Reply)
i love this.
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postbear has metal knees, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 7:20,
Reply)
Reactions to the new 'Pocket Obama' book.
Ahh, great times.
And, goodnight!
"It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times."
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(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 1:12,
Reply)
is this book published by the white house, senate or any other government entity?
NO!! so it's not propaganda a la mao's red book is it?
it's a fucking book of quotations man!
Plus you're reading FAR too much into the 'unofficial requirement' sentence, as is usually your wont
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applehead herp derp, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 1:39,
Reply)
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
seriously.
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ArfurDaley Must try harder., Tue 27 Jan 2009, 1:57,
Reply)
don't feed them, i know
but it's nice to provide a rational counter
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applehead herp derp, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 2:11,
Reply)
You're Like
.
the black-hole of conspiracy nuts. There's no conspiracy, however weird and outlandish, that you don't believe. You attract them to you and suck them in like fat girl at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Cheers
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Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 3:23,
Reply)
There is no conpiracy
Just a bunch of people in suits trying to keep the status norm and make a ton of cash at the same time.
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Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 8:30,
Reply)
For your own sake...
... get some sleep and don't use so much crystal meth.
Please.
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 27 Jan 2009, 9:58,
Reply)
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