Dear Auntie OT:
post your problems here, preferably personal and far too serious for this board, and we will all help you through your dark time.

alt: offer advice to someone
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 22:06, 108 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm new, do's and dont's ?

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 20:24, 243 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello all
What are your plans for this evening? Mine are going to be rather depressing, so I'm hoping you lot have a better night than me!

Alt: Who was the last band you saw live? Were they good?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 17:22, 117 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

oh no second
oh dear. was just emailing the bloke and it was a little bit NSFW, shall we say. only after pressing "send" did i realise he had emailed me from his work account. and he is on holiday. so his secretary will probably get it. sheeeeet. i have grovelled and he says it's fine, but i still feel really bad.

for the techies: if something gets "firewalled", do IT automatically get to see/read it? for everyone else: what have you sent by mistake that you really wish you could recall, and did it cause fireworks??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 15:33, 160 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lunch!
Chicken sammich, Sun Chips, banana. You?


Alt: MWF, NS, GSOH. You?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 12 Jul 2011, 13:05, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I recently read an article about how Jim 'In cabaret' Tavare had his entire act stolen by another 'comedian'
..going so far as to have nicked his website design, etc.

A guy I used to work with seemed to have no original interests of his own and just leeched them from other people he came into contact with (usually superiors at work). I don't know if he did this to impress or get on better with others but he just didn't seem to have an identity of his own. So tell me tales of identity/personality/talent theft.

Alt: What do you keep in your attic?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:22, 214 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This work lark is rather tedious
I might kill myself and I've only been here thirteen minutes. The upside is it's my aunt's office so I might wheel around on my chair butt naked whilst screaming "LONG LIVE NEPOTISM!" if it gets any worse.

I can't wait to start my placement at Ogilvy in a few weeks. What can't you wait for?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 9:13, 225 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dear Darth,
I would like to take a moment and apologise for causing offence by insulting you and your girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better my electric toothbrush just sprayed toothpaste up my nose.

Sincerely,
Kristine
XoxO *hugglywugglys*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 3:08, 103 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dull thread is dull
Let's have one about Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll.

In one or all of those three categories, what have you not yet done that you'd like to and why not?

So if you were feeling revelatory you could bring up some kink you've not tried, if you're more boring you could go for a drug you've never done that you might find interesting and if you want to be really dull, go for a band you've never seen.

Alt: tell me just how shit and bent this question is, I don't care.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:27, 301 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is very long
What's your ideal house? Who would live there with you? Where would it be?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:06, 227 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My goodness, you lot are full of bile
and hate, today.

So, might as well capitalise on this: what makes you angry

alt: what's for tea, granny?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 18:08, 296 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread.
Let's be nice and happy. What makes you happy?

Alt: University Challenge - fantastic TV of a high intellectual calibre, or a bunch of drooling halfwits showing off?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 17:11, 163 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Turn ons? Turn offs?
What's a dealbreaker for you?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 15:28, 232 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This is interesting
(more than Barry's love life and Nazi porn anyway)
calnewport.com/blog/2011/07/10/the-procrastinating-caveman-what-human-evolution-teaches-us-about-why-we-put-off-work-and-how-to-stop/

Basically the reason we procrastinate is because on some level our brain thinks it's a shit idea. If we get a better plan we stop procrastinating - I'm going to try coming up with different plans for various things I've been putting off and see if it helps.

What are you not doing?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 14:11, 193 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New Thread Time.
With the flowers in bloom, the sun shining, and puppies and kittens and boxes of thorntans on special offer.... tell me about your best date.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 12:57, 156 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What a rubbish thread.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2012126/Edna-Beck-sussex-receives-asbo-7-years-racist-abuse-neighbours.html

Much more like it. When someone suggests people should respect the elderly simply because they've managed not to fucking die yet, they should be reminded of this wonderful goose-stepping lady who threw her soiled underwear out the window. 'I'm not anti-social. I'm a normal woman and everyone can tell you that'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 9:40, 116 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning All
I'm about to set off on my early morning commute. I didn't drink at all this weekend but amazingly also didn't argue with the wife. I wonder if the two are connected? Bloody hope not.

What are your plans for this fine sunny Monday?

Alt. Insult another OT member without using their name and see if we can guess who you are talking about.
( Peej, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 7:32, 83 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If there's something strange in your neighbourhood
who ya gonna call?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 23:14, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So you get no wishes but a single sniper willing to take out the target of your choice.
Who and why?

Alt: where?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 19:21, 124 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So everyone gets one wish
in this pretend scenario.

Wishing for more wishes makes you out to be a douche.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 17:21, 71 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Everyone having a happy Sunday?
Step on.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 14:42, 42 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I saw a hit and run last night.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 10 Jul 2011, 11:21, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Who’s had the biggest influence on your life?
And why.
It would be my mom for me. She taught me the importance of grasping life enhancing opportunities and putting hard work to get out good results, wearing sensible shoes, etc.
"Be ambitious, don't end up like my family", she'd say.
ALT- www.b3ta.com/questions/dodgyworkethics/post1272956
How's my debating? Scroll down.
(888777555, Sat 9 Jul 2011, 23:00, 22 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening.
I'm meant to be going out this evening but I'm far too hungover to make it.

What are you doing, what have you done and what plans have you changed this weekend?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Jul 2011, 19:15, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck me it's quiet in here.
Just playing with my new toy that's finally arrived. In truth, the Galaxy Tab is not a bad little piece of kit. I'm just in the midst of having to teach the bloody thing to cocking well swear which makes for a fun morning. What are you lot up to?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Sat 9 Jul 2011, 10:24, 71 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Night shift thread
Sponsor me, you massive cunts!

details, if you're on face place thing

EDIT: I understand no-one can see the link. If you would like to sponsor me (and I'd be very grateful for that) then please gaz me.

And for now, let's all get drunk and talk rubbish. It's Friday night, after all.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 23:07, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have a nice bottle of rioja
and a great big juicy steak.

What do you have?
( Kroney, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 21:22, 187 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Personal Identity
When you have to define yourself as part of a society or "tribe", how do you?
Are you White, Mixed Race, British, English, Northern A Yorkshireman ,A European or another classification? Are you one of the "Celtic" peoples who have a pole up their arse about having been placed within the immediate vicinity of England?
I take advantage of my mixed racial genes and call myself "Anglo-Indan", as it has a noble, patriotic British Empire ring to it.
When asked for geographical descriptor I'd say "Wolverhampton", so from the Black Country, West Midlands, or , for a foreigner, "Near Birmingham"
(888777555, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 18:19, 132 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Come on people!
It's nearly the weekend! I need help seeing out the last twenty minutes! Someone say something really fucking funny!

Or we'll have to play I HAVE NEVER
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 16:43, 37 replies, latest was 15 years ago)