Morning all - QOTW vote is up
New Question of the Week vote is HERE

*cough* Vote for PORN *cough*
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:57, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

If you could have any real person's skill in the world, what would you take, and why?
You can only take one thing though, you still got all your regular skills, there is no penalty or anything.

I think I would be able to do magic like that Dynamo fella, loads of his stuff is amazing, I reckon I could pull whenever I wanted, and make a shitload of money by just walking into a pub and doing bets on people. Does it count a fraud if you do a magic trick on someone to get money?

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, YOU'RE LOOKING SWELL, IT'S A THURSDAY TODAY, THAT MEANS ONLY TWO MORE WORKING DAYS 'TILL THE WEEKEND. GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS? I BE MONTY HAS POSTED A MORNING THREAD THAT THIS'LL STOMP.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 9:01, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Question from a young whippersnapper.
I was bored earlier and watched the Live Forever documentary about the rise and fall of Britpop. If anything it confirmed my pure and utter hatred of Oasis, but alas I shall continue. Don't get me wrong, 95% of the music during that era was pony. I'm sure everyone looking back thinks the same.
But what I'd like to know from any old farts is, was it as exciting/good at the time as is made out? I think I would have rather enjoyed myself if I was my age now in 1994.

Alt: What time period do you think you'd have had a blast in?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:57, 292 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Inaccurate news story ahoy!
news.yahoo.com/patsy-clines-restored-house-opening-va-193532152.html

Well maybe not inaccurate, but they forgot to mention you can buy crack a couple streets away.

alt: I heard Prince Harry asked B3th out on a date, but she refused because she thinks gingers smell funny.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:18, 179 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I heard that ______ is so _______ that they ______.
Therapy starts tomorrow! Thank fuck. Have you ever sat and talked to anyone about the shit you carry around? Cries of "EEEEEEEEMOOOOOOO" gracefully accepted.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 17:07, 204 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bobby's last thread was, and is, shit.
By his own admission. Shall we bully him for this?


Alt: Shall we bully him for something else?
Alt alt: Such as for being a massive chubnut?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 16:04, 125 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've bought a mountain/offroad bike, ridden it and it didn't snap!
What little wins have you had today?

alt: next toy you are going to buy yourself?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 14:42, 176 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

FUCK YEAH!
I am a grown up with a grown up job!

I'm so great! I'm so great! In your face, people who aren't so great!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 12:50, 270 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Thread is dead - that's what I said.
If Curtis Mayfield was

a) alive
b) not a cripple and
c) on the internet,

he may well have sung the above line.

If my applicant is late for her interview, should I dismiss her immediately for being a disorganised spastic, or is that a little harsh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 11:25, 122 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning cunts
As everyone on here is so fucking angry all the time, what do you do for stress relief? Is the Lord's Prayer the only form of comfort you find these days or is there *gasps* ANOTHER WAY?!1!1!

Alt:
How the fuck can I get a week's worth of work done today?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 9:00, 243 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm getting laid off in a few weeks.
Send cash.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 19:41, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long ago in 1993 I did Communication Studies A level
in which we discussed the internet of 'Information Super Highway' as it was then known. I was the only person there who'd used it or had an email address.

The discussion got ridiculous about what it would allow you to do. The highlight, I remember, was when some joker claimed we'd all be ordering pizza via our computers and we'd never leave the house and die in melted pizza-shaped puddles on the toilet.

I just ordered pizza on the internet, almost exclusively for this reason. This is our rocket car mother fuckers!

Tell me about living in the future in the present and how steampunk is the fake past in the future.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 17:29, 137 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm going to start a new thread because I can, so there.
It is said that time speeds up as you get older and the years seem to fly by. Who believes this to be true? Also why does time fly by when you're enjoying yourself but drag when you're not?

These questions must be answered and I don't have Stephen Hawkings phone number so who will oblige?

I did read a kid's book about Einstein a while ago but didn't understand much of it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 14:32, 256 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Is it lunch time yet?
We're going to see David Gorman tonight. What do you think of him? Is he any good? I'm not sure I want to go, as I'm very tired, but we already bought the tickets, so I can't say no. Is there anything you agreed to do and now you're regretting it?

Alt.: I'm looking forward to use my new slow cooker tomorrow, to prepare a nice ham. So, anything you're looking forward to do?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 12:24, 208 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Ok, that thread is unwieldy.
Time for a new one. Monty, by the way, sorry for making you bite the pillow in my last opus. You can be the pitcher instead of the catcher next time, if you like.

Ok, question. Why does Greggs exist?

Alt: Do you know anyone who actually goes in there?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 11:23, 195 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hi! I'm Monty
Tell me about yourself. Or flatter me.

Alt: I have to conduct some job interviews for an admin position over the next couple of days. Suggest a comical/offensive question I can throw into the proceedings for the purposes of ‘lol’. Alternatively suggest a spasticated, unfunny question in the hope that it is funny so we call all roundly mock you for your dismal comedic ability or entire lack thereof.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 9:42, 237 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am not Gonz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 7:19, 55 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

apparently the luggage thinks i want him to do dozer and gonz slash fic
But actually I said gonz and al
Rubbing their oiled chests together

I may have had some wine

Love you all lol
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 2:50, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

That Thread died, Let's see if a sex thread will get people talking.
Limited by my usual criteria of "No Children, no animals, no piss, not shit no vomit", what's the most perverted sexual act you can think of?

Alt: what's more useless than a unicycle?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 25 Jul 2011, 21:33, 137 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

evening thread!
what can you see through your window?

What would you like to be able to see through your window?

Can you please think of a better thing to talk about than this
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 19:34, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I don't like that thread
Talk to me about something, anything, else.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 17:27, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I haven't seen our resident right wing nutter FreeFair
since the shootings in Oslo... Coincidence????

What other b3tans would be involved in crimes of the past?

edit: look at this smug smiling prick static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/guardian/Pix/pictures/2011/7/25/1311607257312/Anders-Behring-Breivik-le-008.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:30, 89 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Afternoon punters
pc

What is the best present you have bought someone? Or the best present you have received? Why?

Alt:
Last time you did something illegal
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 14:29, 274 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

lunch
what makes a better work-time lunch, hot food? or cold food? or both? please discuss with reference to specific examples.

alternatively, what's your favourite position? (get your minds out of the gutter, i mean for doing anything you like.)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 12:50, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck that shit
Seeing as there's been an awful lot of bad news in the media for most of the weekend.

Tell me the good news from your personal lives. No moaning.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 11:32, 197 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good day, good day to you all.
I spent the weekend at an hilarious wedding in Lancaster, at which I was sexually assaulted by the groom's mother. I was and still am fairly aghast about and traumatised by this event. Much fun was had although there was a rich vein of pikiness running through both bride's and groom's families.

What did you do? And what joys does the week ahead hold for you? Mine involves working horrendous hours, followed by cleaning my flat and making room for all of Luzzdee's stuff as she's moving in for a couple of weeks. Basically it's going to be ONE LONG KERRAZEE PARTY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 8:25, 267 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

2nd in the quiz, lost by two points! annoying as we changed three answers to incorrect ones.
DAMN YOU ERIC HALL!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:39, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Terminator 3 or The Lovely Bones?
Decisions decisions...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 20:52, 72 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Ebay
I sold something on ebay last week for 99p, with £1.75 postage and packaging - not unreasonable as the waterproof bag I sent it in cost me over 80p and I had to drive 13 (x2 - I had to get home too) miles to have it delivered.
The bint I sold it to is kicking up about the postage and has started an ebay case (whatever that means).

What twunts have you encountered on ebay?
(dchurch bah, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:58, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right. It's sunday night
and I am being unshakably optimistic.

Tell me why this week is going to be brilliant for you.

If you're going to be a pessimist, fuck off.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:55, 16 replies, latest was 15 years ago)