Look, we've all done things, but if we all start ignoring each other this forum will not be the 16 people it is, come on, clear those lists. Just my opinion, vote on it linkto.run/p/Q46X6G6C
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 20:15, archived)
I like that, might put it in my suicide note (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 22:10,
archived)
I'm 2 pints in So I shall be ignoring everything shortly
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 20:42,
archived)
Haha yeah, but ‘on the other hand’, wrong punchline(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 22:12,
archived)
Fully expected this to be a link to that birds bumhole(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 22:10,
archived)
in a way, aren't we *all* a link to that birds bumhole?(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 22:29,
archived)
Something about preferring wood, peckers to tits(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 26 Feb 2021, 8:01,
archived)
17:14What are you doing right now?
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:14,
archived)
an oldie but a goodieplane-o's mum, I mean
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:25,
archived)
She's been dead 30 years so that makes you a necrophilliac*calls the police*
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:36,
archived)
Certainly, my mum says I have to be home before dark, list a lot of jobs because of that (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:55, archived)
Neither am I but ask anyone and they’ll tell you I am so now where do we fucken stand? (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 18:40, archived)
Its certainly why I did the theme tune, who without confidence asks someone to write a theme tune to their own show (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 19:08, archived)
Tbf if nobody gets my user name reference I wouldn't be surprised, you'd have to be a certain age (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 19:38, archived)
I saw Ricky gervais interview him on television once he seemed like a weirdo (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 19:46, archived)
Trying to work out which is the nice Gary.(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 20:16,
archived)
really?I know you're a bit of a flaming wazzock, but no need for TH to roll out the ol' 2.0, is there?
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:12, archived)
I thought we were family. This has broken me.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:15,
archived)
People who put other people on ignore are the very worst there is(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:39,
archived)
I swear by my fat mockney tongue that I am not Jamie Oliver.Please tell Two Hat this.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:14,
archived)
I tried, but I'm afraid he doesn't believe you(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 16:06,
archived)
I don’t know how to respond to this. I might have to rethink everything I ever thought I knew. I’ll probably do that right after lunch. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:24,
archived)
oh yeah? cooking up a pukka meal for Jools and the kids, eh Jame-o?(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:27,
archived)
I AM NOT JAMIE OLIVER. ALTHOUGH I ADMIT I DO GET SIMILARLY UPSET ABOUT SCHOOL MEALS, AND I HAVE A FAT MOCKNEY TONGUE. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:29,
archived)
I mean, I tell lies, this is what happens. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:28,
archived)
People seem to be ultra sensitive on this forum these days, I hope they get mnd (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:27, archived)
I take great offence at this, YOUR BLOCKED(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:02,
archived)
It’s all gone to shit since you got stepped. You’ll still do LftL right?
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 17:30,
archived)
Also why do people keep changing their namesI don’t know who anyone is these days
(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:33,
archived)
I'm kinda trying to keep going with the whole Gary themeI wish I'd never started it now. I have many, many regrets.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:38,
archived)
Isn't that a seedy gay sauna?god I miss seedy gay saunas...
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:49,
archived)
A load of almost naked blokes all sitting together in a room that makes them sweathow can that be made any gaia
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:53, archived)
Short of them start thrusting their penises into each other, I mean(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:57, archived)
Well, short of THAT how about rearranging the cushionsand lamps?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:59,
archived)
I'm banned poster dozer and so's my wife(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 16:02,
archived)
Colon Swollen <[email protected]>The rotting food is stuck inside you
Swollen Colon - 17 lbs. of rotting food may be stuck inside you causing you painful daily poops and embarrassing farts. In fact, according to Harvard Medical School… groundbreaking research reveals 95.7% of all Americans have this toxic bacteria lurking in their bowels and there is only one known nutrient compound on earth that can purge it
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:48,
archived)
BEST PUNK BAND DRUMMER'S NAME EVER!!!!(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:50,
archived)
beast it up, get your cole swole(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 16:01,
archived)
Do you know who I used to sort of not mind, but now fucking hate? Jamie fucking OliverWho did you used to sort of not mind but now fucking hate? You can't say 'TH'
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:27,
archived)
oh I think he's OK really. if anything he's a great deal less annoying than he was in the Naked Chef daysI honestly can't think of anyone that I fucking hate now that I haven't always fucking hated.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:31,
archived)
Here's my view; he's arguably the most over rated of all the TV chefsIn, let's face it, a very crowded field
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:35,
archived)
News flash, Jamie. Olive oil is for dressing, not for cookingStop being a dick
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:36,
archived)
SOMEONE seems to have forgotten about a certain 'Ains'At least Jamie Oliver is an actual chef
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:50,
archived)
Nigel Slater is worseSome of the shit he gets away with 'cooking' has no place on the tv - all of his dishes start with 'sometimes I just want something quick and easy to eat' and then proceeds to have a fucking bit of cheese on a fucking cracker or something.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:32,
archived)
He has issues. I saw some programme where he spoke about how his mum died when he was a kid and the closest his dad got to emotional was giving him a packet of chomps or something. Each time he does a recipe I expect him to say something like "this feta and chicory salad is something I invented while the vet put down my puppy when I was 11, I find my tears of grief add just the right amount of saltiness to the dressing. You could use the juice from a jar of olives."
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:52,
archived)
he's definitely fixated on sweets as some kind of childhood comfort issue thing, no question(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:05,
archived)
There's a bit in his autobiography where he sees his dad wanking in the greenhouse.He's too young at that point to know what wanking is, but the weirdest part, I thought, is the dad's extremely unconventional choice of wanking venue.
(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:19,
archived)
Brownsville Station/Motley Crue'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:40,
archived)
Marco Pierre White and his rice and peas with actual peas in it(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:48,
archived)
I saw him do a steak and ale pie once, with a whole fucking steak in itI can see a pattern here.
I bet he does a tiger prawn dish with real tigers in it
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:04,
archived)
lolrecipe:
1 steak
1 ale
1 pie
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:06,
archived)
Cock au van with a real cock and real vanwould probably be unpleasant
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:07,
archived)
Marco Piere White Van Man?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 14:42,
archived)
this old chestnutsmokinggunpr.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Ainsley-sausage.jpg
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:31,
archived)
Also, the ingredients are terrifyingit's like some sort of maze virus that's going to spread through the fridge then take over the kitchen
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:39, archived)
Probably he hasn't changed, I get irritated by different things nowadays(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:39, archived)
That's fairAnd very honest. I appreciate your candour
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:40,
archived)
I enjoyed Spaced when I was 20but I suspect that watching an entire episode of it now would get me wanting to murder everyone involved
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:43, archived)
I watched it recently for the first time in yearsIt wasn't too bad. It's pretty dated of course.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:44,
archived)
I couldn't stand it from day oneHEY, I'VE GOT A SKATEBOARD AND READ COMICS AND SMOKE JOINTS!!! AND I LIKE STAR WARS!
Amazing, so 'geeky'!! Bonus hate: the 'record throwing' scene in Shaun of the Dead is one of the most awful, cringe-inducing sequences in history.
Fucking wankers
There
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:50,
archived)
Yeah, but you're famously the grumpiest man in the entire country, to be fairAnd I say that with love x
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:52,
archived)
I've got the awards to prove it, m8As I always say, 'if you can't handle me at my grumpiest, you can't handle my gonads in the back of a Ford Anglia on the seafront at Bognor'
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:55,
archived)
I never understood the love people have for shaunor in fact any of the cornettos
They're just low budget forgettable nothingness, and certainly not funny
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:54, archived)
Pegg's sense of humour hasn't moved on since the playground. He still finds "tranny" jokes funny(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:50, archived)
I cringed when he felt the need to do a public apology over thatIt was a piss-take of pretentious art twats, not hate speech against the whole lgbtqa+ community, fucking hell m8
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:52, archived)
clearly desperate for attention, needed to get some 'me too' points(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:04,
archived)
Oh, it's my birthday a week todayWon't that be fucking nice
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:38,
archived)
I think you will find that Jamie Oliver can say ‘TH’ because he’s got a lisp (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:38, archived)
Yeah, but he probably says it with a hard 'H'Prick
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:39,
archived)
Oh yeah?Why don't you bang THIS out of order?? *Grabs crotch*
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:45,
archived)
I can’t believe after all your talk about bullying you then perform a sexual harassment on me, hypocrisy thy name is TH(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:51, archived)
other way round for meI used to think he was an irritating mockney twat, but he's done a lot of good work helping ex-prisoners get back on their feet and promoting healthy eating for kids, so I think his heart's in the right place
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:44,
archived)
So you're saying that he's the Savile of TV chefs?I think you're right
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:46,
archived)
haha!not the first analogy that came to my mind, but now that you mention it...
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:47,
archived)
You know what? I don't really hate himI just don't think he deserves the accolade that he gets, that's all. The same could be said for a lot of people on show business I suppose
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:50,
archived)
I hope you're not suggesting that 'Vernon Kay' isn't in fact a fucking #ledge?(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:53,
archived)
Liv Tyler Mostly because of all the whingeing she did in lord of the rings
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:59,
archived)
he's the worst member of the Fyall family - and that's saying something(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:34,
archived)
I'm getting 'Ian Rush' milk advert vibes here(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:35,
archived)
There's this colleague of mine who got a permanent jobI used to think she was alright but since telling my /chums about this great news it's led to my falling out with people, good people, nice kind and decent people, and I'm holding her, personally, responsible.
Nuzzah!
Edit: Some of Jamie Oliver's recipes are quite good. His restaurant just off Old St was great back in the naughties helped a lot of east end kids (which is fair enough since he culturally appropriated their accents) and the polenta chips in his stupid chain of bankrupted restaurants were delish.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:46,
archived)
what's with all the hate?this used to be such a friendly and welcoming forum
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:24,
archived)
things went downhill after the 'smeg' thread(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 13:34,
archived)
Tricky question, this.I guess it's Savile. I used to respect him for being a wrestler and for bringing 2-deck mixing to the UK, but the more I learn about him the less I like him.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 14:37,
archived)
Enough of this sillinessI haven't been to York in about 25 years. I quite liked it then. Is it rubbish now, or what?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:05,
archived)
Alternative questionIs there another British city you would recommend?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:06,
archived)
I was only talking about this the other dayHow I've never been to Scotland. I will one day
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:14,
archived)
I liked Glasgow but as a local said:they're nice round here but they're either lovely or stabby, nothing in-between.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:28,
archived)
Swanseathe property is cheap, the people are poor so there's much exploitation to be had and fun to be found so excellent if you're a slum landlord or planning some county lines drug activity.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:14,
archived)
I was thinking more along the lines ofStaying somewhere for a few days, and seeing the sights. The property would have to be fucking cheap for me to buy a place there
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:15,
archived)
Hmm. That changes thingsManchester has some great galleries, bars, restaurants, the waterfront in Liverpool is well worth a visit but The Kelvingrove in Glasgow is hands-down the most bonkers place I've visited in terms of art exhibits. I'd go back there for that alone. Brighton is shabby but fun.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:32,
archived)
Brighton is excellent if you're an insufferable food ponce, or practising homosexual(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:35,
archived)
How long do homosexuals have to practice before they become experts?(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:04,
archived)
Bristol's fucking gr8I reckon I could live there if it didn't rain all the time
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:20,
archived)
I've never been. That's one for the list thenI love Exeter. I know it's a different places, I just thought it was worth mentioning
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:34,
archived)
do you want to know something weird?*I've* never been to Exeter! You couldn't make this up - it's like the fucking x files or some shit
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:36,
archived)
So wait a minute, let me get this straightYou've been to Bristol, but I haven't. I've been to Exeter, but YOU haven't. This is spook shit. I'm a bit scared actually
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:38,
archived)
Good guitar shop in Exeter, incidentallyThey work with Tory fret-botherer Matt Bellamy, but don't let that put you off
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:00,
archived)
haha, I'll bet they go 'wummaging awound' in the stock room for him!!!(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:13,
archived)
In the undergwoaf!I always preferred Lenny Henry's impression of DB to the actual DB
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:16,
archived)
I feel the same about 'Sir' Trevor McDonald(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 11:20,
archived)
DB was taken off the air because he didn't berkele in man-made climate change.
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:40, archived)
I know that shop. Buy bits for my bass there sometimes.(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 19:40,
archived)
You could probably say the same for PortsmouthGo to the historic dockyard, go to gunwharf for a wander a bite, then leave. Immediately.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:37,
archived)
that's exactly what I have done on the two daytime visits I've done I did also do a couple of days' temp work on a big Sainsbury's (I think) site once too, which is where I learnt about the whole 'tide's out = reeks of faeces' thing. And I went to see Carl Cox in a club there in about 1991/2, that was alright
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:41,
archived)
Honest to god, you don't notice the smell when you live thereIt's only since living out of town, do i notice it
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:46,
archived)
Dundee was always the butt of jokes for every other Scottish town/city.I moved here for work in 2007, and actually really like it now. It's improved massively over the last 20-30 years. Shame about the accent, but at least it's not Glasgow.
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:30, archived)
you won't believe what I call it - Bumwee!!!
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:31,
archived)
haha, you could say it's 'sick burns night' there today!!!!(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:37,
archived)
I get the impression some people don't like itI just wondered why
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:13,
archived)
The New version is much better.(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:14,
archived)
dunno, obviously the city centre panders to the tourist trade, and in the last 10 years it's become the destination of choice for mackem hen and stag dosBut there are plenty of nice sights to enjoy, and Knaresborough and Harrogate are a short train trip away and are great for a nice day out.
On the other hand, I live there and I am a fucking wanker, so make of that what you will.
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:16, archived)
Here is your answer:b3ta.com/talk/8294546
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:28,
archived)
is it true that they deliberately make the Jorvik Centre smell of shit?and that ironically it really is shit?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:26,
archived)
I haven't been in years but yeah lol the time travel cars bit does deliberately smell of poo!It's an attraction for kids though.
(, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:27, archived)
everything there is old and shit, having said that I’m sure you’d fit right in haha (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:19, archived)
Only passed through once Didn't seem that bad to me
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:18,
archived)
'not bad, but I wouldn't want to live there'(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:43,
archived)
went there on a long weekend 20+ years agomy memories of it are: lots of cobblestones and lots of pubs
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:36,
archived)
Well this has been tremendously helpfulAnd no one has been bullied. Thank you everyone
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:58,
archived)
hi there (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 25 Feb 2021, 7:50,
archived)
Well, I seem to have really gotten to someone(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:26,
archived)
I knowhe so easily wound up isn't he?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:31,
archived)
/chat's on the blob, it doesn't matter who it is, just GET UPSET(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 12:02,
archived)
Um, I seem to have gotten a stalkerwhich is nice. Never had one before. Some weirdo keeps changing his forum name to a variation on mine.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:22,
archived)
helloI have paid some money but have not got an icon
not sure what to do about this
thinking of burning down the Reichstag
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:30,
archived)
Go on the twitter and find Rob and send him some messagesHe'll love that.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:32,
archived)
'you got a whole ham for 50p. I donated £3 to your shitty flebsite and got bugger all, does that seem fair to you, you ginger cunt?'(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:35,
archived)
Can confirm that works(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:37,
archived)
the common man can clearly die in a ditch as far as he's concerned(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:37,
archived)
That's internet royalty like Rob for you. :((
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:50,
archived)
ffs I have to sign up for twitter now(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:37,
archived)
Yes but you can chose an excellent "comedy" name(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 8:40,
archived)
I’ll put you on ignore then log out to read your posts and whinge on every thread about how upset you are (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 9:38, archived)
really? wow, that marvellous insight simply hadn’t occurred to me. Thanks, I’ll reevaluate my life now, cheers. (, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:03, archived)
somehow I think had you been ignorant of this, you might look marginally betterpeople make mistakes and all that, but acting like a 12 year old girl deliberately seems a bit odd - but you do you m8, fill yer boots etc
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 10:07,
archived)
I just realized Two Hats has me on the 3.0, I'm genuinely surprised, I thought I was lovely(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 25 Feb 2021, 15:07,
archived)
Anything good for tea?Justeat? Deliveroo?
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:37,
archived)
A Slice of toast and a grape.(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:39,
archived)
I used to love themand Little Chef
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:48,
archived)
Why don't you love wimpy anymore? Still the same as they always were (, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:56, archived)
No you are thinking of low cost transatlantic airline freddy laker, easy mistake (, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 17:08, archived)
I never heard of a wimpy whopper.(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 20:56,
archived)
Get one then, I'll be having the classic quarter pounder with cheese (, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:59, archived)
I bet they don't have one in Yorkprobably can't afford it having spent all their hard-earned cash on 'scraps from th'chippeh'
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 17:04,
archived)
the miserable, shit-caked subhumans that they are(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 17:04,
archived)
Brown Derby, Brown Derby, Put your hands all over my body(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:58,
archived)
Beef rendang from out of the freezerCooked a big batch a few weeks ago
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:44,
archived)
the problem I've got is that I've never had a proper rendang so, like Les Dennis, 'ah dern rurleh knerr' if it's the real dealmrs liked it and she's from (relatively) near there so that will do for me
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:54,
archived)
you fancy-ass muthafuckah, Cheerscheers
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:55,
archived)
If being hilarious is a crime, then lock me up for life m8(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 18:36,
archived)
You weren’t being hilarious you were being unnecessarily lewd, take that content elsewhere you dirty boy (, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 18:47, archived)
chicken rice bowlnot just yet though
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 17:33,
archived)
Beef green pepper in black bean sauce with boiled rice Followed by a couple of pints
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 17:34,
archived)
Beef green isn't a real pepper or even a real colour.(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 18:59,
archived)
my mid life crisis jacket is supposed to show up todayGURD TOIMES
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:03,
archived)
NiceLast time I got excited about clothes was the imminent arrival of my Ted Baker zip up hoodie. It's well beezer.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:10,
archived)
I'm getting the red and blue one of thesenostalgiacentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/breakdancing_4.jpg
Cheaper than buying a sports car and having an affair with your secretary I suppose
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:25,
archived)
This is trueAnd they don't look silly. I think you'll be able to pull it off
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:31,
archived)
it's just shown up and it looks THE FUCKEN TITSI realise I only have one era-correct pair of Nikes to wear with it, this needs dealing with
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:47,
archived)
it's actually a very useful abilitycomes in very handy for picnics and so on
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:50,
archived)
he only does it occasionally(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 14:46,
archived)
Bet brb would like that.(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:51,
archived)
go on then, you've twisted my arm(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:19,
archived)
that's not your arm, you dorty wee bogger(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:23,
archived)
yeah but some people are more equal than others under this government, AM I RIGHT(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 12:15,
archived)
none of the stuff i needed turned up, so i'm just going to go home now
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:25,
archived)
i had 4 cups of coffee and i phoned up for a quote for some new lightbulbsthat's basically a days work.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:33,
archived)
Yeah Yeah Yeahwww.youtube.com/watch?v=-ypcjgNU1z0
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:41,
archived)
I used to see him out all the time, looking like he was hours from death(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:43,
archived)
Probably sick of people asking if he was going to get himself connected(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:58,
archived)
he looked like he was sick of something a great deal more serious(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 13:59,
archived)
mild day, isn't it?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 14:45,
archived)
popped out for a few bits myselfpicked up a couple of meals from the butcher's, beef green pepper and salt and pepper chicken, all chopped and prepped, just have to throw them in the wok with a bit of oil. good value, too, 2 for £5. definitely getting more next week
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 15:16,
archived)
good idea for butchers, pre-prepped meal bags(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:03,
archived)
they do lots of things like thatincluding pots of homemade stuffing and chilli jam, hot cooked chicken, ribs, sausages, nuggets, pies, siu mais, chips, scouse, all kinds of stuff. the queue at lunchtimes stretches around the block
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:15,
archived)
Not bad, ta.I've found out that a colleague of mine who has been working as a contractor for the last 18 months
had applied for and gotten the job as a permanent role. We're very lucky to have her - she knows what she's doing and is great to work with. All-in-all a very surprising instance of the organisation managing to get something right. Huzzah
(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 15:24,
archived)
seems to be happening a lot(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 15:35,
archived)
shut up Barnaby Bear(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:38,
archived)
Amazing!we must work for the same great company.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 16:35,
archived)
Hello friends Another lovely day out there. Hope you're well.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 7:20,
archived)
I'm in to work today, but I'm also waiting on the parts for the job i've come in to doSo, now we just sit around and hope the delivery comes early.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 7:46,
archived)
i'll down tools around 3 i reckon.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:24,
archived)
Hello windy pig, I’m really looking forward to the opportunity to post #funnystories on #b3ta #internet #web (, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 7:34, archived)
you telling a funny story would be a first(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 7:46,
archived)
It feels like spring is springingthat makes me happier
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 7:53,
archived)
yeah, daffodils are out, distinctly warmer. lovely(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:02,
archived)
it'll be freezing again soon enough, best enjoy it whilst you can(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:38,
archived)
I'm at work, feels nice to be out of the house(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:02,
archived)
guten morgen(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:23,
archived)
ha, what an excellent comedy name for the morning threadhuzzah
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:23,
archived)
Everyone seems quite chipper today(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 8:51,
archived)
I was feeling proper poorly yesterdayAnd much better today. So yes, things are looking up!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:00,
archived)
I soldiered on with the rest of that show.You were right it was excellent if not frustrating at times. I'll give it 8.5 pigs out of a possible 12.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:05,
archived)
I watched a programme about Queen Latifah's 'Ladies First'Monie Love is still looking great
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:07,
archived)
CoolYeah, we finished it last night. Might start that White House Farm one tonight
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:08,
archived)
Morning WP, I have hurt my back so I can’t runwhich makes me sad, any tips for cheering up? Voluntary euthanasia is an option
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:28,
archived)
What are you running from, Cheers?Because it seems to me, you're running from your feelings, yeah? Instead of running away, why not walk towards? Confront, rather than retreat, yeah?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:40,
archived)
It’s like you’ve opened a window into my soul, yeah?(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 9:52,
archived)
Just see me as the doorman, CheersYou're the one with the keys, yeah?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 24 Feb 2021, 10:16,
archived)
I think it’s funny that Garold is upset I posted his boring story twice. (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 17:44, archived)
it’s a surprising reaction, but a welcome one. Online upset is well lol. (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:17, archived)
Oh yeah , I await a gaz telling us that he is having a hard time of it an to go easy . (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:19, archived)
‘Please, all six of you, go easy on a stranger on the internet’ (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:20, archived)
I've never seen a whaaambulance needed so quickly for a minor burn (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:23, archived)
lol We could for instance spend years referencing monster munchs terrible command of language and that’s funny but please don’t ever reference delicate flower garis post twice in a day (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:28, archived)
You did it to upset him, and it upset him. This makes you a winner. Way to go, winner. 👍🏼(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:03,
archived)
Well that's a strange one, surely you would hope the original poster would have seen how boring and irreverent the post was to the forum , particularly when pointed out to them, no need to be precious about it (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:17, archived)
Most of the stuff posted on here is pretty fucking blandReposting it twice was a far more dull thing to do than it being posted in the first place.
(
Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 19:01,
archived)
Thanks for your usual high quality once a day contribution m8 can’t wait until tomorrow’s instalment (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 19:06, archived)
I’ll take being a winner, but I did it because his ‘story’ was so utterly bland it amused me, sorry not sorry rofl (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 18:19, archived)
He probably thought his boring story was interesting, swings and roundabouts innit(, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 22:30, archived)
God, it is satisfying when you put that prick on ignore isn't it?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 13:27,
archived)
Yeah right.I just done a ctrl+shift+p to try to work out which annoying shitposting prick he was on about. I'm not sure but I think it's that smug racist idiot Queef.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:03,
archived)
King Egbertahhhh... that's better.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:04,
archived)
b3ta.com/talk/8294329
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:22,
archived)
Waaaaay ahead of you (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:11,
archived)
I don't usually bother with the banhammer But when someone is going out of their way to be a nasty, obnoxious prick, I make an exception
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:34,
archived)
Yeah, I've only ever put two people on 2.0and he's one.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:37,
archived)
up until Hitler I think the only ignore I'd ever used was on Baldmonkey when he posted porn on qotw(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 16:03,
archived)
I've been watching that C4 series about Catherine The Greatthere's lots of Huzzaing... I may have been affected.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 14:51,
archived)
is that any good?the programme I mean, not 'huzzaing'
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 16:03,
archived)
Nice bit of sunshine out there eh?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 15:51,
archived)
just come back from a lovely stroll in the park(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 16:01,
archived)
I can't keep up with who's who anymoreIs it Dozer up to his old tricks?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 16:58,
archived)
I don't knowI don't know anything
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 17:02,
archived)
My crocuses have bloomedThey're only here for a couple of weeks a year, sadly #ThatsInterestingTH
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 16:59,
archived)
That *is* interesting(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 17:01,
archived)
'daffs' is my nickname for my grotty old knob, fyi(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 17:07,
archived)
I swear we've got tonnes more daffs this yearIt's definitely starting to look more colourful out there
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 17:24,
archived)
Have you ever found out that a colleague of yours who has been working as a contractor for the last 18 months had applied for and gotten the job as a permanent role? Are you very lucky to have her? Does she know what she's doing and is she great to work with? Would you describe the experience as ‘All-in-all a very surprising instance of the organisation managing to get something right’?. Are you the kind of prick that says ‘Huzzah!’?
(, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 12:57, archived)
Morning.I'm watching that show TH suggested and it's really really super depressing.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:35,
archived)
that doesn't sound like the sort of thing I want to be watching at the moment(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:42,
archived)
No, I'm not sure why this one is so effecting compared to other true crime drama things.But really proper harrowing. Might give it a miss until the world in general is a bit less miserable.
It is very good though, just maybe not right now
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:54,
archived)
Yeah, it's heavy stuff, no questionBut without giving anything away, the way it unfolds, and the way the story is told, is really good. It's worth sticking with (or going back to) but I totally get having to be the right frame of mind to watch something. I got 20 minutes into "12 Years a Slave" and went 'nope, not today'
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:09,
archived)
I heard that Bruce Willis is a ghost all along, just saying(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:24,
archived)
It's going to be hilarious when he croaks, and all the tabloids lead with the headline "BRUCE WILLIS IS A GHOST"Well, I say hilarious. It wouldn't be, and they won't anyway. But still.
(, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:31, archived)
We could start our own paper so then it'll be a headline(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:36,
archived)
WAY ahead of you browww.facebook.com/ChatMagazine/
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:38,
archived)
What happened to Littters Hitters?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:44,
archived)
if I were to make a list of things I give even the tiniest shit about, the answer to your question would be not be on itPerhaps a passing mod took pity on us all
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:46,
archived)
Wowit's like finding out that there is a god after all.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:49,
archived)
The rest of us were asking for him to be banned for months.I guess it just goes to show that God only listens to Hitler.
(, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 10:14, archived)
I hope they've not made these hopeful statements just to cheer the nation up, only to move the dates later(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:51,
archived)
It's not cheered me up , that's longer than we've already done and I've already had enough (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 7:57, archived)
selfish cunt that I am, it will be likely near that time that my mrs will have jab no.2, until then we can't do much anyway(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:03,
archived)
Once we can get to something like rule of 6 I'll be happy,Bag of cans in the park is a good start to normality
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:06,
archived)
Have a kick about? Jumpers for goalposts, rush keeper, 3 and in, oh yes let's all pretend we are teenagers again (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:10, archived)
What?No mate, just a few tins of beer and a nice chat.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:19,
archived)
I disagree that drinking tins in a park as a fully grown adult is normality, it's for tramps and weirdos (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:30, archived)
I'm not sure what the jumpers thing is all about, But given the absence of pubs a beer in the park is as close to normal as we're going to muster. I can sit on a picnic table and pour them in to pint glasses so that its nearly the same as a pub garden if it makes you feel better.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:32,
archived)
Is it? I suppose I didnt grow up in some horrible council estate so our parks had proper goal posts.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:35,
archived)
And nothing is going to make me feel better today windy, I'm done (, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:36, archived)
Want to cyber?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:36,
archived)
But one can build up such a tiresome thirst whilest out dogging(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:32,
archived)
when you look at it like that, 82 days seems a world away(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:24,
archived)
What worries meIs everything (schools included) opening back up, and the virus spreading again. I'd much rather lockdown for another month now, than risk locking down for three months later in the year
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:11,
archived)
I am both desperate to get back to some form of normality but similarly concerned that it will end up being temporary (
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:16,
archived)
I've barely left the house since August 2019I'm climbing up the fucken walls up in this piece. The party we have when this is over will be an affront to God, m8
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:21,
archived)
I'm a bottle of disinfectant away from going full Howard Hughes(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:22,
archived)
Yeah, I feel the same.When we first went back after the summer and there was masses of cases at work and I was genuinely scared to go in to student rooms and was constantly on edge because of how rife it was, I do not want to go through that again.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:23,
archived)
I've got some good news. Would you like some good news?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:37,
archived)
After hitting a bit of a low late last year and reaching the big fat weight of 120kgI am now no longer officially obese by government standards, merely overweight at 100kg
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:41,
archived)
Congratulationshave a celebratory rice cracker.
Edit: that's actually quite the achievement. I've put on 2kg while staying with my cake-pushing parents for a couple of months. Hoping the lack of cake and puddings here at home will ease off the flab.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:45,
archived)
I had an extra banana for my breakfast.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:46,
archived)
well doneI also chubbed out a bit last year due to relentless bbqing and booze, but am back on track now
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:53,
archived)
I can fit in my clothes again.Its nice
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 8:57,
archived)
I've lost 2 stone Due to the fact that I don't tend to buy snacks, but my parent's house is full of them
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:19,
archived)
Are you now an obese man trapped in a fat man's body?(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 10:22,
archived)
This is the 999 call recording I've always wanted to hear(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 10:34,
archived)
Depends (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 11:24,
archived)
How long is the cable run?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 12:43,
archived)
Yeah, fine.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Feb 2021, 15:11,
archived)
And what a gloriously fine and sunny one it is, too (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:13,
archived)
ain't it, got the window open in the loft here(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:35,
archived)
Still a bit windy here for that Plus, next door's cat tries to get in and fight with mine
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:47,
archived)
I've found out that a colleague of mine who has been working as a contractor for the last 18 months
had applied for and gotten the job as a permanent role. We're very lucky to have her - she knows what she's doing and is great to work with. All-in-all a very surprising instance of the organisation managing to get something right. Huzzah
(, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:23, archived)
wow, this is happening to a lot of people on here!(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:35,
archived)
Gosh, all this original contentI feel blessed.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 23 Feb 2021, 9:52,
archived)
Afternoon Putting my caffeine boost to good use and blitzing the kitchen
(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 13:08,
archived)
In a sort of WWII way? With doodlebugs and stuff?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 14:08,
archived)
that would make things worse(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 16:05,
archived)
You're right, you know.(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 16:44,
archived)
makes a change(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 16:45,
archived)
I've found out that a colleague of mine who has been working as a contractor for the last 18 monthshad applied for and gotten the job as a permanent role. We're very lucky to have her - she knows what she's doing and is great to work with. All-in-all a very surprising instance of the organisation managing to get something right. Huzzah!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 15:06,
archived)
No you'll have to submit another three afterwards, signed and stamped(
Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 17:41,
archived)
I'm hoping at some point in boris unlocking of the uk he mentions me getting my account back (, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 18:00, archived)
Beer gardens from April 12thSo there you got - back at the pub before May.
(
Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 18:46,
archived)
I rather over-celebrated mongy's birthday on Fridaystill not feeling quite right
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 7:44,
archived)
happy birthday wigfield jrmight have to treat my wife to one of those then, she's been missing sushi a lot
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:32,
archived)
Food socks are a fashionable motif in the world of modern sock fashion(
Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 10:30,
archived)
Have you been hoping all this time that someone would ask 'Where is the H?'So that you can reply 'Wrong band that was Steps'?
(
Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 10:15,
archived)
U herd(
Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 10:30,
archived)
Roberta Smack, moar like!!!!11(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 12:15,
archived)
Hello mate.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Feb 2021, 7:47,
archived)
Yeah, was alright. Spent most of it in the garage tinkering.Although I made some fucking amazing fajitas yesterday, its a good job we're working on our own at the minute because my bottom is a smelly cloud machine.
You get up to much?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:04,
archived)
got hammered on Friday, Saturday was mainly a writeoff and yesterday was a roast dinner, slob out in front of the tv kind of dayI'm having similar trouser trouble today, too much gravy
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:07,
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I was watching that White House Farm,I know the case well as I'm a horrible true crime nerd, and it's a really engaging and as far as I can tell pretty faithful telling of thr story and the acting is very good.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:14,
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I remember that tooMight give it a go, Mrs Q loves a bit of true crime also - generally those ghoulish US documentaries rather than dramatisations though
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:29,
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I think she'll like it anyway, I think if it wasn't such a famous case and they didn't slap "TRUE STORY" at the start of every show you could be forgiven for thinking it was just a good murder mystery.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:41,
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That one's on my list tooCurrently watching 'Unbelievable' which is pretty good.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:33,
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I will try unbelievable.But if its shit, so help me god I will be disappointed in you.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:41,
archived)
You can't spell 'believe' without 'lie'oooOOOOOooooh
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 10:13,
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well you could but it would probably hurt quite a lot(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 10:52,
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I'm like the scarlet fucken pimpernel, m8(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 8:48,
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And when I say dreamI mean "getting up at half nine and doing fuck all"
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 9:40,
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The black fingernail?(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 9:40,
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That's Sir Rodney Effing With 2 f's
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Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 10:13,
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Greetings to you i hope i meet you in a good spirit my name is Miss Maria Bernard, on 17years old I'm the only surviving child of my late parents Mr. And Mrs. Nelson Bernard. I lost my parents and my only kid brother mysteriously on a car accident(, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 9:03, archived)
hi Maria, sounds like you can't catch a break!(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 9:15,
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The cat just tried to avoid sliding off my lap By digging her claws into my legs, so pretty normal
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Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 9:32,
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Is that the new crime fighting duo on ITV 3?(
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 11:01,
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Walker's new crisp flavours are really pushing the boundaries now(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 11:23,
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De Agostini's build monthly publications are becoming more abstract(
broadsword, Mon 22 Feb 2021, 12:41,
archived)
Well would you look at that, I’ve spent a significant amount of time here(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 21 Feb 2021, 3:21,
archived)
That's a lot of candles (
Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sun 21 Feb 2021, 10:09,
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I always miss my b3taday.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sun 21 Feb 2021, 11:24,
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Five-figure account number? Fuck off n00balso: congratulations for not getting banned.
(, Sun 21 Feb 2021, 18:24, archived)
I just contribute in the spirit of the community(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 21 Feb 2021, 21:39,
archived)
If your account were a girl, it would already be too old for Hexachordal.(
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sun 21 Feb 2021, 19:03,
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Just had a pretty damn fine bbqHuzzah! How’s your weekend?
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:04,
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Bit cold for a bbq innit?Anyway, I'm fine. Binge watching DEVILS on Sky One. Day off tomorrow hurrah. Lie in finally.
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Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:18,
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Warm enough, warm enough....(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 22:20,
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Waiting at the train station Watching a little field mouse
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Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:58,
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It kept darting out from behind a bench And eating the crisps that somebody had dropped on the platform
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Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 21:46,
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I've managed to drink solidly from 7 this morning without anyone noticing.Just done my wife's hair highlights and apparently I did an amazing job. Don't really see the point in being sober any more, my drunken self seems to be functioning at a reasonably high level.
(, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 19:31, archived)
I'd trust myself with a needle. To be honest the consequences of putting a needle into the wrong place are relatively minor compared to some of the shit that can go wrong if your doctor doesn't have their wits about them.I feel that alcohol is a positive influence though, it gives me the confidence to go with my gut instinct which is nearly always right.
(, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:04, archived)
Doctors always had bottles of booze in their office when I was a kid , sometimes recanted (, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:09, archived)
Yes we still do. Usually stuff I've been given for Christmas for being such an excellent doctor(, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:15, archived)
If you can teeter on the edge of any addiction you can live a happy life (, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:04, archived)
Yes, I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't ever been dependent on mind altering substances.In the words of Alfred Lord Tennyson, "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
(, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:07, archived)
My favourite medical oxymoron is amphetamines. We used them to stay awake and alert for years. Then we banned them. Now the fix adhd (, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:37, archived)
Oxymoron is fine but have you tried dihydromoron?Because that shit is WILD, yo.
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Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 22:59,
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Last night my daughter had her 18th birthday online , my ex delivered goody bags of snacks and booze to the invitees houses before so they could all get pissed , fucking odd , but fair play You missed out?
(, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 17:44, archived)
I know someone whose work did that for a 'celebration'Except he had to trek a few miles in shit weather to pick up his supplies, which turned out to be one beer and a pack of crisps.
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Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:00,
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I dont even go to free bar work parties, now covid hopefully has made them extinct (, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:03, archived)
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Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 11:58,
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Dee dee nana na na
they are the world's most,
fearsome fighting team
(mutant turtles)
they are heroes, on
the half shell and they're green
(mutant turtles)
it sort of works
(, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 12:13, archived)
Whomst is that, so skilfully Photoshopped onto April O'Neill? (
Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 13:02,
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alright curiously plastic-faced minor 90s dance sensation Whihghfhielhd(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 11:48,
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But it's quite windy too, every trip to the lav is like trying to bleed a radiator.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 13:13,
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