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morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Aug 2021, 9:15, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 14 Aug 2021, 9:51, archived)

Arsebooooooooooon

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 14 Aug 2021, 9:59, archived)

DIL-BAROOOOOOO!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Aug 2021, 10:15, archived)

alright

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 14 Aug 2021, 10:20, archived)

Is your full name Arsebaboon Dildo-Wheelbarrow?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Aug 2021, 14:11, archived)

no

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Aug 2021, 15:07, archived)

Oh

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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 14 Aug 2021, 18:17, archived)

just been to Wetwang lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Aug 2021, 15:09, archived)

I twang, you twang, we all twang for wetwang

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 14 Aug 2021, 16:17, archived)

wetwang lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 14 Aug 2021, 16:45, archived)

lol

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 14 Aug 2021, 18:51, archived)

Richard's the third thread

alright you bunch of incels
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:08, archived)

Alright
Counting down the hours until I finish and then it’s pub time

Cheers
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:20, archived)

I just got to my local , bit late today

(

mongychops, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:23, archived)

I've got to go and pick up jr at 7, pain in the arse
She should be able to get here on her own at 13, it's not that fucking difficult
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:25, archived)

and wouldn't the ex just love that
"he's sooo irresponsible that he let a 13-year-old child wander the streets on her own!"
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:15, archived)

yep, it's absolutely ridiculous
I know it's different for girls but at 13 I was coming up from Winchester to London unsupervised to go to Kensington Market, my kid can't get from the Isle of Dogs to East Ham
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:14, archived)

my parents had to keep a close watch on me
i was, and still am, a wanderer. i've been buggering off to spain on my tod since i was 17 and some of the shit i've got up to and managed to get myself out of, i'm just glad they don't know about
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:19, archived)

same here
I went to my first festival aged 15 and got fried on acid for four days, it's a miracle I'm not more of a mess than I am and that I'm still here to tell the same, boring old tales, knocking on 50
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:22, archived)

Yep, same

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:53, archived)

Friday the 13th
spookeh
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:23, archived)

1/7 titcheese
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-58191753
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:24, archived)

4/7

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:37, archived)

5/7
the one with a little bit to be smug about
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:52, archived)

2/7 Steve Gunt

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:17, archived)

3/7 the first time, 2/7 the second time

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 18:23, archived)

1/7 a laadyyy

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 18:40, archived)

i'm in an extremely good mood
washing machine bought, DVD player sorted, cinema ticket bought, cab booked, plus i have £160 left over to go towards paying for my new tattoo
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:46, archived)

Good stuff
More good stuff: my incredible godmother has just bunged me £150 in luxury food vouchers, what a hero she is
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 15:57, archived)

fucking get in!
got anything pricey you've had your eye on for a while? truffles, caviar, pate de foie, anything like that?
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:04, archived)

I want some cured duck breast charcuterie, that much I know for sure
I'm like a kid in a sweet shop, I want everything
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:07, archived)

whenever i get extra cash to blow on food
it invariably gets spent on seafood. crab, lobster, squid, massive big green-lipped mussels, whelks, you name it
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:17, archived)

WHELKS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:21, archived)

whelks are fucking lovely

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:29, archived)

great with a bit of mayo and some farmhouse bread

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:35, archived)

no vinegar, though
that just ruins them. same with cockles.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:44, archived)

I don't like vinegar much generally
except on chips
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:55, archived)

i don't like it at all
except pickle vinegar
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:58, archived)

I did a foot tour in Rome a couple of years ago where we got to taste £100 a bottle balsamic
it was fucking amazing, a different world from supermarket crap
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:16, archived)

raspberry balsamic Y/N?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:20, archived)

*wobbly hand* not quite sure
My godmother gave us a bottle of smoked tomato balsamic which is fantastic on a caprese salad
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:23, archived)

my local deli sells 100 year old balsamic, how mad is that?!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:57, archived)

OK balsamic vinegar is nice

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 18:12, archived)

I just wanted to jump into the vinegar sub thread to say I've got no opinion on vinegar really
oh, it's handy for cleaning the kettle I spose
cheers
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 19:33, archived)

^ vinegar strokes

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 20:43, archived)

I need to work on my squid game - I want to perfect Vietnamese salt & pepper squid
www.scmp.com/cooking/recipe/easy-vietnamese-salt-and-pepper-squid/article/3077121

It's 'teh shit'
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:08, archived)

that's a decent recipe
but i would definitely add chopped onions and chillies to it
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:21, archived)

I have to stop myself putting chillies in everything
I've got a massive tupperware tub filled with so many different ones - I'd like to do a course on Mexican chillies to expand my knowledge, there are more than 60 varieties apparently
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)

I pretty much do put chillies in everything

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 17:55, archived)

bonus result
Two cases of wine have just turned up from the inlaws
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 18:14, archived)

You're on a fucking roll today

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 18:39, archived)

aren't I just

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 18:41, archived)

sad mammal
youtu.be/E8VG6HUimsQ
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:08, archived)

even more-ning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:55, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:58, archived)

y

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:07, archived)

What you up this way for?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:03, archived)

I'm pleased that you had a nice time in THE NORTH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:06, archived)

I really did,
caught the best of the weather, stayed in a charming little village, loads of lovely scenery and friendly types about. Was a wicked little break
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:09, archived)

lovely stuff!
what were the pubs like? visit any castles?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:15, archived)

i did no castles.
but i did 3 waterfalls and the only pub I bothered with was the one in the village, and that was nice
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:32, archived)

Knaresborough is v nice if you come back up north in the future.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:41, archived)

i most certainly will, its a bitof a bikers paradise with all the great roads and complete lack of funding for police

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:42, archived)

down by the river there is stunning and the houses cost a fackin fortune

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 13:14, archived)

my father's moved over now
he's in a flat for now, but is moving into a house in Abingdon in a few weeks
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:07, archived)

ah, yeah, i thought it was soon he was here.
Where in Abingdon is he going to land? My brother has a place up there
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:08, archived)

East St Helen's St
House looks v nice - but they're only renting and have to move again in 18 months as the owner is renovating it. Still, 5 bedroom Grade II listed, it's the business
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:23, archived)

yeah, thats nice over that way

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:31, archived)

also, the nearest pub is the Kings head and Bell,
which is his willy, which is lol
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:35, archived)

that certainly *is* lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:45, archived)

That's my ticket for tonight booked and paid for
Now it's off to curry's for a washing machine
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:24, archived)

what's on tonight?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:31, archived)

The suicide squad

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 13:14, archived)

don't do it m8! you've so much to live for

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 13:34, archived)

I saw the first Suicide Squad film the other week. An incoherent mess of a film, saved only by Margot Robbie's ass in a starring role.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 13:47, archived)

I actually really like it
But my taste for terrible films is well known
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 13:51, archived)

Pratchett question:
Have you seen "The Watch", the universally-panned show very loosely based on the Discworld novels? I saw the first episode last night, and thought it was surprisingly not completely terrible. Everyone else in the world seems to hate it with a passion, though, so I'm probably wrong.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 12:32, archived)

I've seen the reviews
And I am loath to watch it in case I hate it
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 13:15, archived)

I was pleasantly surprised by how mildly watchable it was,
but that's probably because I was braced for it being awful. Not faithful to the books, obviously, but closer in spirit than I'd been led to believe by all the bad press.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 16:11, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:29, archived)

last day at work before my week off
I realise we've made a slightly stupid plan for tomorrow, as we'll be traipsing around Oxford with our luggage for the next few days on us.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:39, archived)

is there not a 'left luggage' at the station?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:42, archived)

no

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)

there appears to be a locker company I can use. £5 a bag

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:04, archived)

YOUR WELCOME

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:15, archived)

for what? it's nothing to do with the station. 5 min walk away at some student accommodation place

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:19, archived)

~~there appears to be a locker company I can use~~ feed the birds
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:27, archived)

~~feed the birds~~ heavily cut speed
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)

morning
Dead cat by the side of my road this morning :'(
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:42, archived)

worst version of Love Shack ever

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)

morning
Last day before I get two weeks off
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:27, archived)

hol 5s, dad 5s

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:32, archived)

Cheer5

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:34, archived)

hello mr Richards

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 9:40, archived)

hi windy pig

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 10:01, archived)

fuck off please

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 10:07, archived)

bit rude

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 10:42, archived)

hey man
I'm in your town 2moz but won't have time to see you I'm afraid
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 10:17, archived)

Happy Friday the 13th

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 10:48, archived)

wooOOOooo spooky!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:04, archived)

got this on the go
youtu.be/dcOoVcT98LY
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:02, archived)

I've got a lot of time for Coldcut

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:09, archived)

yeah, me too, pioneers ain't they

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:10, archived)

Beats & Pieces is fantastic

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:16, archived)

indeed

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:23, archived)

that Journeys by DJ mix still sounds great, plenty of classic dnb on there

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 13 Aug 2021, 11:11, archived)

I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT

(sticklebricks, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 16:13, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 16:32, archived)

cool cool

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 16:42, archived)

cheers cool

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 16:47, archived)

cool cheers

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:17, archived)

Some people prefer generic clobetasol propionate cream, but I like Dermovate

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:20, archived)

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:39, archived)

I dunno, I don't dermorate it

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:57, archived)

No eumovate

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 20:24, archived)

Thanks for the update

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:29, archived)

alright,'Pickfords'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:32, archived)

alright, 'Ex-Lax'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 17:33, archived)

meh,

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 18:57, archived)

Anal

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 20:26, archived)

Off you go then

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 19:45, archived)

alright sisyphus

(

mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 19:51, archived)

*applause*

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 10:18, archived)

~~MOVE~~ WANK
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 20:27, archived)

BREAKING NEWS
BBC newsreader drug dependency shocker www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58194764
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 23:53, archived)

lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 8:28, archived)

~~TO MOVE IT MOVE~~ UP THE BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 13 Aug 2021, 0:15, archived)

afternoon
didn't get the gcse results I was hoping for so I'm gonna do a YTS
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:44, archived)

haha, the 1980s!!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:54, archived)

You Thick Spastic

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:58, archived)

BPD I mean

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:58, archived)

how's your job search going mate?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:00, archived)

slow
got an interview next week though 🤞
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:13, archived)

Good luck!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:15, archived)

ta!

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:15, archived)

remember to do a massive, loud guff during the interview and make unblinking eye contact with each of the interviewers immediately afterward.
An interview is a two-way process and you need to establish dominance.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:26, archived)

I made a decision on the bass strings
Remember to like, comment and subscribe
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:55, archived)

*retweets*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:56, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8309216
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:56, archived)

has anyone strikey g'd the b yet?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:57, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8309199
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:58, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8308733
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:15, archived)

Y
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:58, archived)

Yellow turd squirt?
Lay off the curry
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:09, archived)

3 7s, 6 8s and 2 9s for me

(

mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:17, archived)

coo! well done you big swot

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:18, archived)

I did send my boy the nerd gif

(

mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:35, archived)

Don’t forget the egg fried rice

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:19, archived)

The Telegraph has penned an article titled Girls set to increase GCSE lead over boys and 'we should accept they're cleverer'.
I'm hoping it's satire but these days it's difficult to tell.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:50, archived)

it's satire if it's got animals in it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:57, archived)

Like Animal Magic with Johnny Morris.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 15:03, archived)

I did

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mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 15:24, archived)

much better than Wildtrack with that nonce Nutkins

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 15:34, archived)

he lost the tips of those fingers in the bumholes of captive mandrills, the dirty old bollocks

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 15:38, archived)

So did i

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 19:46, archived)

Fucking hated University Challenge though

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 19:47, archived)

Yo, bottom rush the shottom
How's it going, wankstain's?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:30, archived)

I am super excited to be seeing my dad on Saturday, been a few years (4 I think)
Museum, lunch, visit the college where he used to lecture, cheeky pint then fuck off to Winchester is the plan, and it's a jolly good one I reckon.

tl;dr Huzzah!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:37, archived)

but enough about me

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:37, archived)

Ah, lovely

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:40, archived)

innit doe
my dad will be in full pompous windbag mode, 'ah, the dreaming spires, CS Lewis, Tolkein' etc etc, I can't wait
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:42, archived)

:D

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:44, archived)

£50 says he'll be rocking a cravat and and a panama hat
he's such a bellend
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:46, archived)

Haha
Bonus points if he turns up with a pipe
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:47, archived)

he's a fucking popinjay m8
a popinjay
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:49, archived)

I SHUDDENLY REMEMBERED MY CHARLEMAGNE

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:49, archived)

"We named the *dog* Queef!"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:20, archived)

lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:30, archived)

Your dad chases seagulls?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:27, archived)

well, he calls them 'sheagullsh' but close enough m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:30, archived)

I think we might have the same dad

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:49, archived)

nice one bro

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:50, archived)

Sweet as m8

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:50, archived)

Seeing my Dad next week, been 2 years so pints and food are very much on the agenda
*Dad fives*
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:45, archived)

My dad's dead
So thanks for bringing it up, m8. Bit thoughtless there
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:47, archived)

Sucks 2 b u m8

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:48, archived)

All I've got left is my bass string research to keep me going :(((((

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:48, archived)

Gotta have a hobby
Strikey-jobby

lol jobby, like poo lol
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:50, archived)

haha no way!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:51, archived)

he lives on in your bass strings m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8309164
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:27, archived)

my dad's dead too
*dead dad high five*
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:17, archived)

get in

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:48, archived)

I see my dad several times a week
I made him wear an avocado hat the other day
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:28, archived)

alright queef, going to the beach this weekend, Saltburn or Robin Hood's Bay or Whitby or somewhere.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:38, archived)

oh man imagine if you drowned

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:42, archived)

this place would die on it is arse if I stopped posting

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:49, archived)

small price to pay

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:18, archived)

^

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 14:40, archived)

I have spent altogether too long researching bass strings
And now I've narrowed it down to one brand, I can't decide whether or not to buy them. WHY IS LIFE SO HARD, BOYCE
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:39, archived)

b r
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:43, archived)

"I've naowed it down to one and" good one, Monster Munch!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:45, archived)

~~Monster Munch~~ David Bellamy
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:46, archived)

Haha
V good
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:48, archived)

Lol

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:48, archived)

Excellent.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:12, archived)

Bellend, you mean

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:13, archived)

Apparently he named his son Rufus, which was a fucking stupid move for him.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:35, archived)

Be warned here m8 - your mind is about to be blown:

Get this - is a life without challenges really a life at all?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:44, archived)

Right, you just blew my mind
I'm going to start the whole process again. GOD, it feels good to be alive. No offense, dead boarders
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:45, archived)

Not bad, hungry tho, might get some foood

(

mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:44, archived)

it's getting on for lunchtime, go for it

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:47, archived)

proper knackered
might unofficially take tomorrow off at this rate
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:53, archived)

do a bomb of whizz m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:56, archived)

that's not a terrible idea
I think I'm going to finish what I'm doing then lash it like an angry god tonight though
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:05, archived)

Excellent
Going washing machine shopping tomorrow
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:25, archived)

just had a right result
Mrs' initial consultancy appointment re her eye surgery was scheduled for Sep 17th - then someone contacted her offering Sep 2nd - now they have a slot next Thursday. Fucking great news
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:33, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8309176
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:41, archived)

That is good news
She should get the surgery not too long after her consultation. It's a piece of piss and takes about 5 minutes, in and out in an hour or so
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:45, archived)

the NHS is backlogged to fuck thanks to covid but this should mean it'll be a month sooner than feared

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:51, archived)

Tell her to make sure she takes sunglasses with her
She's going to need them
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:25, archived)

she always has shades on her

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 15:35, archived)

That is good news
Every time my phone goes off I wonder if it's my appointment. God knows what's going on
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:18, archived)

My consultation was March last year, supposed to go in for surgery in September
Covid had other plans
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:25, archived)

Sorry, don't want to be a bummer, just fed up
Lol, bummer
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:31, archived)

Remember to like, comment and subscribe!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:35, archived)

I’ve smashed that like button and hit the bell

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 13:55, archived)

marvin gaye's verbose first draft
/ac
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 15:36, archived)

morning /talk
what is up?
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:22, archived)

my cock, ur nan's arse
morning
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:32, archived)

cor!

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:42, archived)

That's what SHE said!!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:20, archived)

morning TAH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:36, archived)

AD

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:42, archived)

bit rude

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:44, archived)

is it?

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:47, archived)

yes pal

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)

righto

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 8:58, archived)

Settle plate 123E is still sitting in the production room.
I've e-mailed QA to ask if it should have been taken away yesterday with the rest of them. I'll make sure to keep everyone updated with their reply.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:21, archived)

alright Smash Monkey

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:22, archived)

Nah, it's Virgin Radio they've got on in the background, not 'disturbed'.
Actually I'd rather have fucking 'disturbed'.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:28, archived)

I'm surprised they're still going, seeing as they are both ancient and shit.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:33, archived)

b3ta, you mean.
/ac
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:35, archived)

WHAT ABOUT 'JAZZ SPASTIKS'?
we've not heard about them for HOURS
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:43, archived)

they're alright if you like that sort of thing I suppose

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:45, archived)

come on, it's not his fault he has Asperger's

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:56, archived)

thanks for the support mate, it means a lot xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:58, archived)

there's no shame in it, like

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:01, archived)

I have no idea what this is about but I wish you well

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:24, archived)

I could explain, but anecdotes are not my forte.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:32, archived)

alright then, Captain Mystery

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:45, archived)

Attention-seeking vagueb3taing is what all the cool kids do nowadays.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:53, archived)

UPDATE:
Lynn from QA says that yes, the settle plate should have been taken away yesterday, so can they have it now please. I have passed it through the hatch for them.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:12, archived)

YESSSS, RESULT

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:13, archived)

Oh thank fuck

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 12:24, archived)

Oh man if I hear about Settle plate 123E ONE MORE TIME I swear imma kick THE FUCK off

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:22, archived)

I know, man, if it happens again I swear I'll do time.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:32, archived)

Morning Turing's Thursday yo

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:38, archived)

yo yo yo, merry Thursday

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:42, archived)

Good morning!
And what a lovely day it is!
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:55, archived)

it really is
gorgeous outside atm
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 9:58, archived)

Same here
Gloriously sunny without being too hot
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:06, archived)

wouldn't like to be in Sicily right now
this is highly unusual for me
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:15, archived)

what, you mean you *don't* want to roast alive?
everyone's such a nancy these days
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:18, archived)

48 degrees, kinell

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:26, archived)

mad innit

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:28, archived)

Me neither
25 is my limit, above that, I stay indoors with the fan on
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:31, archived)

yeah, that shit's fucked up yo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:32, archived)

Gcse results

(

mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 10:38, archived)

are these for your son?
they're all smashing it this year due to no exams
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:08, archived)

Yeah, he got all A's

(

mongychops, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:17, archived)

you must be chuffed to bits, congratulations man

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 12 Aug 2021, 11:37, archived)

haha we have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 15:41, archived)

NO
NO, WE DO NOT
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 15:50, archived)

I find the comedy styling of the dozer account to be a hoot. It's like gross out comedy, how far can I push being an insufferable cunt every day? Must take some effort to lower the bar 365 days a year

(

mongychops, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:04, archived)

I've literally never had a laugh here
And I don't intend on starting now
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:07, archived)

you do seem to take this place awfully seriously, mongychops, maybe try lightening up a bit mate!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:10, archived)

I'll light you up in a fucking minute

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:00, archived)

Threats of violence online, eh?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:02, archived)

Imagine the make-up sex

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:02, archived)

imagine the make-up sex of these two sultry vixens
www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-58173130
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:06, archived)

if you don't want to imagine that, imagine the state of the train khazis after they'd had a big wedding shit in them

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:06, archived)

way ahead of you mate, way ahead of you.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:09, archived)

My Big Fat Gay Train Wedding

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:22, archived)

Is that a pic from a b3ta ba$h?

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:24, archived)

yes

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:49, archived)

Think my lunch just bought a return ticket

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:25, archived)

harsh but lol

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:33, archived)

'The couple say they were worried about missing the train and having to catch a "marriage replacement service"'
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:53, archived)

Fwd: Fwd: Re: Fwd: SO FUNNY !!!

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 11 Aug 2021, 18:26, archived)

I am crossing Birmingham off of my bucket list while I am writing this

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 19:26, archived)

LOOK AT ME

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 20:28, archived)

👀

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 20:59, archived)

You got me there, how you keep up this abhorrent persona does me. Lol

(

mongychops, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 20:26, archived)

well now i'm not going to

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:17, archived)

I’m not certain we do, Arseboon Dilbaro

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:23, archived)

Cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:25, archived)

😆 😎 😵 😗 😈 🐻 💓 🌼 🤗 🙄 😛 🤑 😝 😜 🤡

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:52, archived)

🍻💪🗡

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:59, archived)

🆘 🆎🅱🅰
I discovered hitting the windows key & . gives you a box of emojis, happy days 😀😁😂🤣😃😄😅😆
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:02, archived)

👍1️⃣

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:21, archived)

that's actually very handy

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:26, archived)

WHAT THE FUCK?!
since when does that exist?! fuck.
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 19:39, archived)

When you gaze too long into my clacker valve, my clacker valve gazes into you
There
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:20, archived)

*gazes*

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:29, archived)

*roisters*

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:50, archived)

my clacker valve gazes into you
The that's amo
(

broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 18:36, archived)

Clacker, cloaca, I’ll give anything a gaze, me

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 20:30, archived)

clackety clack
don't gaze back
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 22:45, archived)

Only at your expense

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:49, archived)

GUNTSTENCH
not really, afternoon
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:02, archived)

Good afternoon.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:09, archived)

the very best

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:06, archived)

what's wrong with GUNTSTENCH anyway?

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:14, archived)

it's no WANKSMELL, is it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:14, archived)

It sounds like the lyrics of every death metal song, ever.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:24, archived)

alright Grrry, nice to have you back

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:46, archived)

where to begin

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:06, archived)

Afternoon
Think I'll pop on a bit of disturbed and do some cleaning
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:53, archived)

Drown them out with the hoover, good plan

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:02, archived)

Haha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:42, archived)

David Drain(cleaner)man

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:12, archived)

Say what you like, he's got an incredible voice

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:51, archived)

no thanks, I have zero interest in that kind of whiney shitbox music

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:55, archived)

well it would be a dull world if we were all the same

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 14:35, archived)

If everyone were the same, there would literally be no arguments, fights, wars
Everyone being the same would be way better than things are now
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 15:50, archived)

it would be dull as fuck

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 16:17, archived)

Haha
Simple as that
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:01, archived)

+o

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:19, archived)

^Down with the shitness

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 17:49, archived)

‘Noo’n

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:19, archived)

och aye the+

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:20, archived)

hoots mon

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:29, archived)

jings and crivens, m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:46, archived)

where were you mate?
I waited in Trotter's bar for 3 hours :'(
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:23, archived)

I got held up in an important business meeting
and by important business meeting I mean a really difficult dump
(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:27, archived)

haha I wasn't there really, this is just a funny joke relating to a post I made yesterday!
In the comedy profession we refer to this as a 'callback'!!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:33, archived)

right laugh here etc

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 14:16, archived)

oh hahaha

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 14:17, archived)

he was there early but had to go to A&E after he fell through the bar

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:27, archived)

Didn’t get any help from my mate either
He just stood there making a face
(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:30, archived)

what a plonker

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:46, archived)

Thus Spake Boyce

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:42, archived)

I fucking love a good spake, me

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:43, archived)

and they don't come much better than this moe foe
bit.ly/3xxUYPb
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:45, archived)

That fucking cunt
You I mzzzzzzzz
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 14:19, archived)

morning
it seems the cities in which my parents live are the UK's first and second place least affordable, how about that

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-58162371
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 7:48, archived)

morning

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 7:52, archived)

hullo m8-o

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 7:55, archived)

Hey

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:26, archived)

week off next week, tour of relatives with jr, should be aight if the rain behaves

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:33, archived)

Sounds like things are on track
How's Mrs McB?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:35, archived)

pretty down in the dumps tbh
first consultancy meeting re cataract surgery Sept 17th - then fuck knows how long until the actual ops. Wasn't even interviewed for a job she applied for which was basically her old job for 10+ years. Turns out a large 'career break' on your cv coupled with 'I'd rather not say' as the reply to 'do you have any ongoing health issues' is not a good look.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:43, archived)

They asked about ongoing health issues?
they can fuck right off. That's a huge HR no-no right away, like asking if she's got any intention of having children. Tell her not to take it to heart, to say there are plenty more jobs in the ocean would be a massive understatement. Has she considered agency work just to get her hand back in? Agencies can be fuckers though, they work for their clients who are the employers so they spin a load of shit to anyone they interview but if your misses has an in-demand skillset (a-la Liam Neeson) then she could get some bit-work. Anyway, all the best to her.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:52, archived)

cheers

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:01, archived)

Have I missed something?
How can you be skilled in Liam Neeson?
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:27, archived)

what Garold said...why are they asking about ongoing health issues?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)

no idea but it was for the London Stock Exchange, I should imagine their HR game is solid

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:02, archived)

you'd think eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:03, archived)

just hope this isn't an indicator of how things are going to be
they do say there's lots of work about though
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:05, archived)

supermarkets have loads of vacancies right now, maybe should become a stock replenishment technician!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:13, archived)

joking aside she's said she's not proud, any money is more than no money coming in
she should get an HGV license
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:15, archived)

OnlyFans is where it's at these days m8

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)

~~Only~~ nyeeaaah, rat
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:34, archived)

lol

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)

she has a very valuable skill set, has she looked at investment houses rather than banking?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:28, archived)

don't think I have any contacts, all my decent contacts are in oil and gas :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:29, archived)

~~contacts, all my decent contacts are in oil and gas~~ genitals
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)

no idea tbh
It's rather a touchy subject at the moment, up there with 'steroid-related weight gain' in the 'things not to talk about' charts
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:37, archived)

14 times your earnings, christ
morning
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:00, archived)

it's THAT good, m8*

PS morning

*it's good if you're a wealthy adult but until you're old enough to get served in pubs there's fuck all to do if you're young, other than smoking dope in parks. That was the case in my day anyway
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:04, archived)

you could say that about plenty of places though tbf

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:06, archived)

it wasn't a problem for me
I loved smoking dope in parks
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:08, archived)

Aye, but houses cost 2 and sixpence then.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:24, archived)

two cows and your first-born son m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:34, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:17, archived)

y

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:20, archived)

who do you think should get the Mercury prize this year?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:27, archived)

I couldn't in all honesty tell you a single previous winner, or name a single act that might be up for it this year

tl;dr I don't give a shit, soz
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:31, archived)

the panel usually gets it wrong anyway

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:32, archived)

I'm clearly not explaining myself properly here: I don't give a shit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:33, archived)

Queen

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:45, archived)

'Best Newcomers of 2021'

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:25, archived)

Disturbed
For their new album, evolution
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:10, archived)

er, it's for UK & Irish acts only.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:11, archived)

Ah.
Never really paid much attention to awards shows, tbh
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:37, archived)

That's a shame, you won the Booker prize last year, there was a £20,000 cheque with it.
It'll be expired now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:43, archived)

Bugger

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 12:13, archived)

Almost everywhere I've lived is in the most affordable list.
All except Bournemouth, which I'm slightly surprised isn't included in the least affordable.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:26, archived)

most cctv coverage of anywhere in the UK outside the Square Mile apparently
ponder on THAT if you will
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:32, archived)

I've pondered that, and I have come to the inescapable conclusion that Covid is a sham and the vaccine contains microchips and we're all experimental lab rats.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:36, archived)

you see I also pondered that, but my conclusion was that George Soros is trying to create a socialist state using mind control

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:44, archived)

You've made a schoolboy error there in assuming that we can't both be right.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:49, archived)

*taps head* oh yeahhhh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:03, archived)

Shit
Eventually we'll be like virtually every other place in Europe, where no one actually owns property anymore, and everyone rents. Shame
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:49, archived)

apparently it's nigh on impossible to buy property in Amsterdam

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:04, archived)

also apparently, I'm full of shit
www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property-for-sale/Amsterdam.html
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:06, archived)

might buy this
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/110691200#/?channel=OVERSEAS
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:07, archived)

Cor
Yeah, that'd do me
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:10, archived)

15 minutes from the city as well, outstanding

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:16, archived)

Do you like fields? Because that’s where you live if you like fields.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 13:20, archived)

only two million of your foreign monies!
sign me up
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:08, archived)

I tell you were property is very cheap
And that's the red zone, surrounding Vesuvius. We looked in an estate agent while we were there, and the apartments are dirt cheap. I mean, it's obvious why, but you'd make a killing on Airbnb
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:12, archived)

not a bad business idea actually

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:14, archived)

As long as you make enough in rent to cover the cost of the flat, before the volcano blows
But yeah. Having a base right near Pompeii would be very attractive to holiday makers
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:17, archived)

"I have an apartment in Naples, you know"
"It's fifty feet beneath the ground now, but it was lovely when it was there"
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)

when is it forecast that Vesuvius will next erupt?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:35, archived)

about half three

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:39, archived)

Thursday

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:46, archived)

Actually, it's overdue
You like to think that modern technology would give us plenty of warning, but there's not a lot we could do about it when it does
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:47, archived)

ditto the Yellowstone caldera

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:50, archived)

I read this in the style of 'The Wizard of Oz' in a freaky midget voice

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:56, archived)

tbf I do that with everything though

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:59, archived)

freaky midget voice man

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:06, archived)

munchkin power

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:07, archived)

I hope drimble comes back :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:23, archived)

fucking hell you're not wrong
www.idealista.it/en/vendita-case/napoli-napoli/?ordine=prezzi-asc
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:22, archived)

Mad innit

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:27, archived)

WELL mad

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 9:39, archived)

if you wanted to be surrounded by countryside and only an hour from London I can think of no better place than Coventry

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:08, archived)

is it really only an hour?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:10, archived)

on a pendelino train, it is

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:16, archived)

Coventry - the home of Twang Club.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:19, archived)

it's no wonder we're the city of culture

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:27, archived)

have you heard that record that Bobby Gillespie has done with Jehnny Beth?
Much better than you'd think. Worth a listen anyway.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:34, archived)

the bits I've heard were unsurprisingly shit

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:47, archived)

he's such a fucking drip

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:02, archived)

arseboon dilbaro, you mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:05, archived)

The 'h' in Jehnny has always annoyed me

~~Jehnn~~ Bobb

lol heroin
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:36, archived)

You can't say Twang Club without 'wank'

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:46, archived)

t'wank club as we say in the poverty-stricken and rain-lashed 'north of England'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:06, archived)

disappointed to discover the twang club website has gone

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:48, archived)

oh wait, thank you internet archive
web.archive.org/web/20130904002516/http://twangclub.co.uk/
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:51, archived)

Morning
I am, once again, a cat sofa.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 10:27, archived)

there are worse things to be

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:10, archived)

Aren't there just

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:23, archived)

cat toilet, for one

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:52, archived)

^your go-to order at your local Indian

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:54, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8309020
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 11:53, archived)

Bunch of geriatrics up my local with their nurses all drinking pints with straws, youngest must be 80 odd, I can see it all kicking, when was the last time you saw it all kick off

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:01, archived)

I've not seen any drama in years

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:08, archived)

Fucking Ray is trying to get out of his wheel chair now, he doesn't know why , I do, fosters

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:34, archived)

heh
classic Ray
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:40, archived)

is Ray pissed?
oh hahaha
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:50, archived)

Nah , 8 birds and Ray. Cock of the walk

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:52, archived)

They better not be using plastic straws or I swear I'll do time

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:17, archived)

Fairly certain the catheters are plastic

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:31, archived)

Re-using plastic, fair play to the old codgers.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:12, archived)

Dunno

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:22, archived)

surely you must have been to a spit and sawdust place in TEH NORTH?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:29, archived)

Yeah you do m8 come on

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:42, archived)

a couple of weeks ago a load of starlings descended on my feeders and tried to oust the resident sparrows

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:25, archived)

the fuckin slags

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:43, archived)

dunno, I avoid places where that kind of shit goes down

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:28, archived)

Apart from /chat of course

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:47, archived)

IT'S GOING TO FUKKIN KICK OFF, CHEERS, YOU HEAR ME????

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:51, archived)

RIGHT, OUTSIDE NOW!!

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:00, archived)

I think there's a homophobic postman in my neighbourhood, I keep receiving post saying DO NOT BEND

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:04, archived)

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:06, archived)

have you seen those really angry signs next to ring roads?
The ones that say PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:10, archived)

haha, have you got any more of these, they're great!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:38, archived)

not really, shut up

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:39, archived)

I reckon cheers likes them, so FUCK YOU!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:43, archived)

online harrassment can cause severe psycholigical injury

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:01, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:02, archived)

meh,

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:07, archived)

Anal

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:14, archived)

cheers

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:27, archived)

Anal

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:41, archived)

meh,

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 21:47, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 21:59, archived)

Anal

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 22:12, archived)

b3ta

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 22:25, archived)

Anal

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:14, archived)

I would never harass you, m8

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:08, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:14, archived)

Anal

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 11 Aug 2021, 8:14, archived)

queef is a notoriously cruel and insistent online harasser; some say he's b3ta's online harasser-in-chief

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:04, archived)

you have your opinion

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:08, archived)

yes mate I do, want to make something of it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:10, archived)

I cannot travel atm, soz

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:24, archived)

SPAKKA-SLAP-TACULA !!!!

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:31, archived)

That time I asked for a cheap pint in London

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:47, archived)

Was 1.49 a pint in the spoons the other day

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:51, archived)

Nice. Could murder a pint rn

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:01, archived)

see u down at Trotter's Bar at half five, yeah?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:05, archived)

Sorted me ol’ china

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:07, archived)

Dunno

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 15:29, archived)

Couple of days ago
Neighbours having a barney in the carpark, over one of their kids throwing stones
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:14, archived)

typical Venables

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:30, archived)

I dont want to tempt fate
I currently live in a rough bit of town
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:29, archived)

still in Leeds?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:31, archived)

Not for ages.
I'm in Middlesbrough atm. I think I have moved around more than the average b3tan.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:34, archived)

is Boro a bit of a shithole?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:38, archived)

yup.

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 17:49, archived)

My thumn hurts
Whats left of it anwau
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 18:04, archived)

Thumbs eh, what that all about

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 18:25, archived)

Trns out theyre pretty important for texting with
May have to dictate all my pzsts until it grow back
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 18:52, archived)

^ maybe his thumb had just grow

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 19:24, archived)

what have you done to yourself now?

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 19:26, archived)

Turns out that the plasterboard cutter I bought is also highly effective on thumbs.
Thankfully I can type pretty easily on my laptop but using a phone or writing is now rather a challenge.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 22:10, archived)

Already decided how it will appear in my autobiography
"2can's moans mingled with his wifes screams as his throbbing thumb spurted, spraying them both in a rain of bodily fluids until he collapsed, panting and sobbing on the floor of the bathroom whilst the children looked on in horror"
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 22:18, archived)

well that wasn't going anywhere fast
morning 2
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:07, archived)

Just had to wait half an hour for a bus
As the one before didn't show up. According to the tracking app, it's in the canal.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:16, archived)

whoops

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:16, archived)

No clue how
It's not as if the route is anywhere near the canal
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:40, archived)

After last year I'd forgot that little kids on public transport never ever shut up

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:16, archived)

~~on public transport~~
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:17, archived)

True also , at the moment it seems London is the hot ticket

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:18, archived)

Round here they spend their lives shouting in the streets, the park, the shops....
So do their parents.

Bonus annoyance: facetiming with no headphones on at top whack - the older pricks don't seem to realise that when you have a phone, you can speak at normal volume and the other person can hear you. That's kind of the point of telephones as opposed to just shouting as loud as you can. Cunts
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:18, archived)

They're shit at the quiet game

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:40, archived)

have they fixed London Bridge yet?
morning
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:22, archived)

no mate, it's still falling down!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:23, archived)

Mostly, it's open to traffic now, but Conway are still there .

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:26, archived)

do you mean Tower Bridge?
PS morning
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:28, archived)

I'm not aware of any issues with tower bridge.

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:30, archived)

it was stuck open for 12hrs
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-58149716
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:33, archived)

Ah , I missed that

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:41, archived)

Hammersmith Bridge is still fucked
#bridgechat
(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 10:32, archived)

Do you mean Biffin Bridge?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 12:33, archived)

Wayne Bridge?

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 13:31, archived)

youtu.be/_ixRxOAVhPM
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 11:18, archived)

Roy Budd was the fucking business eh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 11:26, archived)

One of my best friends when I was really small had the surname Budd
Found out years later that he ended up getting life for beating someone to death outside a pub. Our lives very much went in different directions at some point
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 13:02, archived)

That was me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 13:14, archived)

Yeah, you weren't daft enough to get caught.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 13:17, archived)

shame
he could have been a bus conductor

Budd Budd, ding ding
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 13:18, archived)

Get on a Safe Danes and go Dane the tane, m8

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 14:44, archived)

wow

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 16:27, archived)

underclass 'illiterate name of the day':
Kailib.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 11:29, archived)

There's a young man whose first name is Kool doing the rounds not too far from here.
It's not his fault his parents are fucking idiots.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 11:59, archived)

when did double-barrelled forenames become the in thing with council dwellers?
I've lost track of all this stuff.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 12:01, archived)

why don't you just ask your own relatives?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 12:02, archived)

none of my rellies are as council as that, thank goodness

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 12:04, archived)

~~none of my rellies are as council as that, thank goodness~~ I can't, none of them will talk to me
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 12:17, archived)

I do hope he has a gang

(

mongychops, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 12:05, archived)

morning
youtu.be/SC06sNEcMys
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 8:18, archived)

nice start to the day

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 8:51, archived)

innit just
discogs says copies start at 180 quid
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)

there's a reissue that goes for about £30

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:07, archived)

linkypoos plz

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:14, archived)

bit more expensive than I thought
www.discogs.com/sell/release/1180344
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:18, archived)

it's ballpark tho innnit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:22, archived)

y

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:26, archived)

morning
that's a good tune
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:29, archived)

yes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 10 Aug 2021, 9:31, archived)

Hullo
Can today hurry up and end, please?

Thanks in advance
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 15:42, archived)

my day is really fucken dragging

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 15:44, archived)

try getting a fewer boring job

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 15:53, archived)

I don't mind a boring job if I'm being well-compensated for the tedium.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 15:55, archived)

~~oring job if I'm being well-compensated for the tedi~~
+ming
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 15:59, archived)

BIG ASS TIDDIES

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 15:59, archived)

is this about goths again?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:05, archived)

Not necessarily
I'm an equal opportunities tiddy enthusiast
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:05, archived)

what's your stance re. small tiddies?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:10, archived)

what other stance is there than buffalo and horse?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:12, archived)

B-Boy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:13, archived)

you get an A
now sit back down
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:19, archived)

happen

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:01, archived)

circum
lol cum
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:04, archived)

sub

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:05, archived)

con

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:06, archived)

lets

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:20, archived)

But I don't have red shoes
Unless trainers count
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 20:29, archived)

As long as you can still dance the blues

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 21:05, archived)

What is a buffalo stance?
Because I'm fucked if I know
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 19:53, archived)

Have you tried vague opinions online to answer?

(

mongychops, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 20:07, archived)

Oh give me a hance where the buffalo stance

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 21:06, archived)

I absolutely will not

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 22:31, archived)

If tiddies are happening, I'm there

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:11, archived)

I'm getting to knock off 15 minutes early to take my car to the garage, rock and roll

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:09, archived)

any chance of driving through the carwash?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:20, archived)

I'm child wrangling today
So I'm not too bothered about the day ending soon, I don't get to spend as much time with them as I'd like
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:32, archived)

not seen mine for a few weeks, Friday can't come soon enough

lol come
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 16:56, archived)

Even my ex hasn't seen my daughter for ages but it appears she still lives there

(

mongychops, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:32, archived)

classic hikkikomori

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:42, archived)

out on the lash I expect

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 17:57, archived)

Seems so , earning and enjoying. Bloody covid

(

mongychops, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 19:21, archived)

Hey money, I've managed ti slice the end of my thumb off with a pkasterboard cutter at thexweekend
Fucking hjrts any advice?
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 20:50, archived)

Exes fucking suck

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 20:30, archived)

~~today~~ all life on earth
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 23:15, archived)

Afternoon.
Back from 5 nights in Dungloe last week, visiting the other half's beloved racist grandfather.

e l

Which backwater shithole do you keep having to waste your annual leave in, because you have family there? Alt: planning any nice holidays now you're probably just about allowed to go somewhere without getting arrested?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:39, archived)

alright garold

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:40, archived)

oh man, I went full garold :(

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:44, archived)

you never go full retard m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:48, archived)

In my defence,
it's probably due to the stress of the best thing in town closing down.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:50, archived)

oh man gutted

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:51, archived)

that's it
Dungloe is dead to me now
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:55, archived)

*cancels pilgrimage*

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:55, archived)

oh man, sad news

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 13:00, archived)

The centre, containing memorabilia from the popular singer's lengthy career, was opened in May 2012.

Fans were able to see exhibits including the singer's schoolbag and his wedding suit.

Hang on, what the fuck have either of those got to do with his career?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 13:09, archived)

alright garold

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:42, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8308776
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:44, archived)

I'm off to Oxford on Saturday and going from there to Winchester visiting my parents
No backwater shitholes for me, apart from where I actually live
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:51, archived)

Nice
I've never been to Oxford. My Spanish colleague recently went to St Andrews and reckons it's nicer, but she's an idiot.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:55, archived)

Oxford is lovely for the most part - teeming with tourists though
Hopefully not so much at the moment, thanks to our old friend Covd-19
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:57, archived)

I dunno mate, I live in a tourist city and they are properly back in their thousands

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 13:01, archived)

This question is not relevant to my interests, nor within my remit of responsibility

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:56, archived)

I apologise for bringing it to your attention.
I will learn from this experience, and move on.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:58, archived)

I think the furthest distance between me and relatives is about 250 miles
But we don't really stay in touch, so I'd have no reason to go there. Unless it was to mend bridges of course. Food for thought
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 13:23, archived)

If you don't really want to mend those bridges, you could always go there to murder them in their sleep.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 13:30, archived)

Nope

(

mongychops, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:59, archived)

Oh well, at least now you've got the option to go somewhere else if you decide to.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 13:08, archived)

sounds like another place on Earth I will never get to visit within my remaining lifetime

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 14:18, archived)

what a crippling blow to yr life plans

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 14:35, archived)

#PrayForWoodkovsky

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 14:37, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 7:54, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 8:37, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:04, archived)

fuck yeah

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 8:43, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:04, archived)

pa salieu y/n

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 11:50, archived)

haven't heard him
was going to ask you what you thought of that Floating Points record he's done with Pharoah Sanders.

I've never managed to get past the fact that no matter how good his records might be, Floating Points looks a bit like a certain ex-NHS statistician, the poor bloke.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 11:59, archived)

Dunno what he looks like but the record is brilliant

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:02, archived)

I was listening to it last night, it's pretty good. Also, that recent one by SAULT is alright as well.
He looks like an unemployed comedy rapist.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:05, archived)

morning hour has gold in its mouth
as the Germans would say
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 8:50, archived)

why would they say that?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 8:54, archived)

you know what they're like

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 8:58, archived)

fucken pricks

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:03, archived)

hiya

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:04, archived)

Fucking stupid fucking cunts
/talk, I mean
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:38, archived)

they love their golden showers do those Germans

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:47, archived)

morning
another wazzfest here
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 8:56, archived)

beautiful blue skies and sunshine here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:02, archived)

I haven't been to Wazzfest since '89
When Steamshovel Charlie fucken tore up the Hobgoblin stage
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:39, archived)

just don't mention Treworgey Tree Fayre for god's sake

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:51, archived)

I watched a documentary about Bull Island festival.
Looked a right fuck up, but also I discovered the band Birtha who were on the line up that I quite like.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 10:10, archived)

they're fucking brilliant
their first album is fantastic from start to finish

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rFFO9gzmpY
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 10:18, archived)

don't appear on any digital platforms other than yuotube which is a shame
i did think of you when i heard them, felt like it was right up your alley
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:12, archived)

100% correct, old pal

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 12:48, archived)

This one’s my favourite
youtu.be/coZfzTcv4bA
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 10:20, archived)

yeah morning

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:15, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:21, archived)

It is the morning

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 9:51, archived)

BULLSHIT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 10:24, archived)

Morning it is

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 10:21, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 9 Aug 2021, 10:24, archived)

Cheers, "Yoda"

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 11:18, archived)

This isn't just an "alright" thread.
This is a Marks & Spencer "alright" thread.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 8 Aug 2021, 17:24, archived)

This isn’t just a reply.
It’s a sympathy reply.
(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 18:08, archived)

Cheers

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 8 Aug 2021, 18:27, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 8 Aug 2021, 18:57, archived)

cool

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 19:02, archived)

meh,

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 20:10, archived)

meh,

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 21:30, archived)

meh,

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 8 Aug 2021, 21:39, archived)

meh?

(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 21:51, archived)

meh :(

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 21:55, archived)

meh, (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 22:12, archived)

męh, ( * )

(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 22:13, archived)

meh
cheers
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 9 Aug 2021, 2:04, archived)

Quiet in here, innit?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 3:51, archived)

Yahoo News: Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions. In order to improve our community experience, we are temporarily suspending article commenting.
'In order to improve our community experience, we have completely silenced our community.'
(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 5:11, archived)

Hello Smash, I doubt you're awake now. It's my birthday today, 8/8, fortunately written the same way in both the US and UK

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 5:15, archived)

Happy birthday!
Won't be getting any sleep now, too light. Probably just stay awake till this evening and sleep right through
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 5:57, archived)

Thank you!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:08, archived)

Happy Birthday mofaha

(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 13:03, archived)

Thank you!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:08, archived)

Happy birthday to you mofaha on your birthday today which is August 8th which is your birthday.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 13:52, archived)

True! Thank you!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:08, archived)

Birthday Cheers🍻

(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:50, archived)

Cheers!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 15:18, archived)

hope u have an 'alright' birthday!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 8 Aug 2021, 15:36, archived)

Oh sweetie we talked about this, you don’t care, I don’t care, that’s enough now.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 16:39, archived)

Also I'm pretty baked to be honest

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 5:16, archived)

good on you, birthday boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""""""""""""""!!!!!!!!111111111111111!!!!!!!!

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 7:30, archived)

Urgh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 12:32, archived)

in fairness, you knew this would happen

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 12:58, archived)

and he went ahead anyway

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 13:09, archived)

happy birthday m8

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:11, archived)

Ta :)

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 15:19, archived)

urgh indeed

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:14, archived)

^

(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 14:54, archived)

Well, now the olympics have finished
I guess it's back to watching old re-runs of homes under the hammer :(
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 15:19, archived)

just finished watching day of the dead
not as good as dawn, but i think better than night
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 15:27, archived)

meh, rning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 7:21, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 7:53, archived)

it's fucking grim here and I have to go out for paneer and booze

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:22, archived)

Not much better here
But I have nothing to do. Didn't sleep well last night due to fucked up sinuses, so I might just take a couple of pills and go back to
bed.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:29, archived)

yeah my sleep's been dreadful the past couple of nights
sick of it
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:37, archived)

If I sleep today
I know I can stay awake till at least 7 tomorrow night, so that will, hopefully, reset my sleep pattern. Mirtazipine, here I come.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:53, archived)

Waiting outside Cotswold BMW for mother in law to pick me up after dropping wife's car off for MOT.
Wife's grumpy because I didn't want to just sit here for 3 hours and wait for them to service the car.
Still got to wait half an hour because it wasn't fair to make MIL get up too early apparently.
Bored.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:23, archived)

Wait there's a new B3ta newsletter, I'm saved!

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:24, archived)

Fuck this I'm calling a taxi

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:26, archived)

Two minutes to read the newsletter? I really must get around to joining the patreon

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 8 Aug 2021, 13:13, archived)

:(

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:37, archived)

WOO YAY HOUPLA!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:21, archived)

it's a hard knock life, m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:38, archived)

kn c

lol
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:38, archived)

lol

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:29, archived)

Good news! Wife has said yes to the estate agent so we'll be buying the overpriced asbestos and lead deathtrap house despite the seller refusing to drop the sale price by a penny!

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:31, archived)

Total bargain at £1.625 mill and I'll get to sleep in the downstairs room the previous owner just died in whilst the builders are making the rest of it suitable for habitation.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:33, archived)

And as an added bonus the next door neighbour who interrogated me when I went to view the house has now told everyone on the road that "doctor x is moving in" and I can expect a long queue of people outside my door waiting to show me their bumholes.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:36, archived)

that was me m8

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:39, archived)

I did know you're a proctoligist

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:42, archived)

Nah, GP with special interest in bumholes

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:46, archived)

anal practitioner

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:51, archived)

Tell them you used to work in donneybrook medical centre

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 13:39, archived)

Finally, it's the dullest post on b3ta, congrats

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broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 10:52, archived)

I said I was bored

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 12:30, archived)

David Axelrod on the speakers here, might frot a finch.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Aug 2021, 8:59, archived)

morning m8
taking the plunge this morning and trying to make bread without a machine

watch this space
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:36, archived)

*retreats to safe distance*

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:47, archived)

if that shit blows up in my oven I'm going to be maaaaaaad

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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 9:54, archived)

apart from kneading being hard work it's not that bad
rye bread is a fucking workout though
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 13:06, archived)

haha, BECAUSE HE KNEADED A POO!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 7 Aug 2021, 17:49, archived)

My kinky tubes are giving me a bit of gyp
But other than that, it's alright I suppose
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 11:25, archived)

How about you just tell me what the symptoms are and let me handle the diagnosis, yeah?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 12:28, archived)

I'm giving my kinky tube a bit of gyp as I type this

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 13:06, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8300011
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 14:12, archived)

Well that didn't work
Oh well
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 7 Aug 2021, 14:12, archived)

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