opened an ill advised bottle when we got home from dinnerwhat a meal though and in an incredible location
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 9:43,
archived)
no, I am happy to pay what I consider a fair price for an extraordinary experience last night's dinner was a 7 course seafood extravaganza, in a beautiful restaurant right on the seafront of the bay of Naples, with the sea lapping on the beach literally 6 foot away, with Vesuvius looming over the opposite side of the bay. We had a glass of Laurent Perrier rose upon arrival and two fucking incredible local wines during the meal. I'll never have my 50th birthday again and I've learnt that you never know how long you've got. No matter what happens no-one can ever take that experience away, to me it's almost priceless.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 10:52,
archived)
I mean, it very much did have a price(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 10:52,
archived)
the fucking lotwww.thefork.it/ristorante/palazzo-petrucci-ristorante-r51601/menu
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 16:50,
archived)
I like how they indicate their total contempt for vegetarians by calling it their 'leaf-eater menu'while still charging the full hundred euro for it.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 1 Oct 2023, 20:58,
archived)
are you purposely trying to make me jealous?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 15:16,
archived)
Yay Sunday!For me that means an NRL Grand Final and a pub carvery this afternoon!
(, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 10:32, archived)
Do you think Queef noticed us staring at him from our camping chairs?We should have worn KKK hoods over the clown stuff
(, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 11:57, archived)
nowt wrong with beige slop that’s been sat stewing for 4 hours(
Cheers Cheers, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 11:31,
archived)
As long as there's both roasties and mash, to make it a proper roast dinner.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 1 Oct 2023, 12:23,
archived)
all guffs smell the same(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 15:36,
archived)
I knowThat's the wonder of a day off. You don't have to stick to it if you don't want to. Now I'm going to make burgers for lunch.
(, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 13:25, archived)
TEFL is fun. If you decide to pursue this seriously don't do a free course though.
The cheap ones don't teach you well enough. But do the freebie to see if you really like it before spending the money.
(, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 14:51, archived)
Okay. I work on Preply. I earned a low rate initially, $8 per hour but as you get more experience you can put your rate up. Preply does not require a TEFL but it is advisable to get students. If you have a degree you can go onto more lucrative sites but I don't have one. There are many platforms you can teach on. Cambly is another one.
(, Sun 1 Oct 2023, 15:40, archived)
I've got a day off tomorrowYay! I'll be sleeping until 11
I'm so tired but I made double what I usually make this week! Teaching English does not exactly rake in the cash but it's a living and I like it.
Do you like your job?
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 19:12, archived)
I bought a chinchilla once.Eventually I took the useless cunt back to the pet shop. My chin was as hot as ever.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:31,
archived)
Joel Matip scored a fucking own goal in the 96th minute After The Mighty Liverpool defended with 9 men for almost an entire half.
Feel sorry for the FUCKING BELLEND
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 19:40, archived)
They're called the Israeli Defence Force actually, Mr Corbyn.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 22:00,
archived)
I like my job because it's a piece of piss and the money's decentbut not so much I wouldn't bin it immediately if I could afford to
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 20:11, archived)
It's not bad I live within walking distance, so there's no travel costs unless I fancy getting a cab, cleaning is hardly taxing and I work my floor alone, so I get to work in peace.
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 20:24,
archived)
I fucked my right wrist and lower spine working as a cleaner. RSI and Static Stress Injury.It's an easy job if you're allowed to go at your own pace, but can be super hard labour if you're given too much to do in too short a time.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:05,
archived)
If I'm having a really bad day, I'm pushed to the limit Fortunately, those days are few and far between. I usually have enough time to do my job and skive in the bogs for half an hour
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:59,
archived)
I'm taking what they giving 'cause I'm working for a livin'.(
$$ β
, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:19,
archived)
Be a loyal plastic robot to a world that doesn't care (that's riiiiiiiight)(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:48,
archived)
Clocks go slow in a place of work. Minutes drag and the hours jerk.(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:50,
archived)
Who said "find a job you love doing and you'll never work another day on your life"?That's me. I have the best job.
I've got 14 days off from tomorrow :)
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 21:50, archived)
find a job you love doing and you'll never work another day on your lifebecause they're not hiring
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 22:21, archived)
find a thing you love doing and try to convince people it's a viable job(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 23:48,
archived)
No. Particularly as I had to do a Saturday morning clinic today and I'm running the Covid vaccine clinic next Saturday.Also we've spent far too much on salaried doctors and advanced nurse practitioners trying to meet the massive increase in demand and now we can't afford to pay next month's rent
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 22:21,
archived)
glad you could get it off your chest(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 16:52,
archived)
Just found out brother in law has a brain tumour Iβm very fond of him, heβs a lovely fella and great husband to my sister and brilliant dad to my nephews. Good news is itβs a cat. 1 so plenty of room for optimism but his father died a slow , agonising death from a brain tumour not long ago.
My partner is a therapy radiographer so we are pretty clued up about the process, itβs just a very very rough time for them all.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:00,
archived)
I don't know a huge amount yetbut from the little I do know it's one of the less bad diagnoses to have - we can hope that it's treatable, maybe even with just radiotherapy.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:43,
archived)
Fingers crossed it's treatableand atm we have no reason to think it won't be so holding off the worst of worries.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:44,
archived)
In the words of Queef not to one up. My sisters husband of 30 years old had stomach trouble for years eventually found he had bowel cancer and died within 3 weeks of diagnosis. They had been married 2 years with a 2 year old girl.
These things are really really shit. But they happen. All you can do is hope for the best.
Thoughts are with you and yours mate.
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:09, archived)
Yeah, we're not daft - there's a chance that things are worse than we thinkbut right now we've got reasonable grounds to hope he'll have a shit time over the next few months but make a recovery. Hopefully, a full one but there's nothing at the moment to say he won't be there for his kids as they grow up.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 15:10,
archived)
same thing happened to an old boss of minecomplained for years to his doctor, got told it was indigestion/gastroenteritis and fobbed off with pills. pain eventually got so bad that he took himself to hospital. inoperable stomach cancer, dead within a fortnight.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 15:53,
archived)
Ech, that's rough. Very sorry to hear it.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:13,
archived)
If what I know so far is truethen as a type 1 tumour there it'll be treatable.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:45,
archived)
sorry manare these things hereditary? not to one up you (well, one down you) here but my best pal is having to have an open liver drain around his neck, and his gallbladder isn't working properly so he can't start chemo on his terminal liver, lung and lymph node cancer. we both turn 50 today :(((
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:14,
archived)
_ _ _ _ _ _
| | | | (_) | | | | | |
| |__ __ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |__ _ _ __| |_| |__ __| | __ _ _ _
| '_ \ / _` | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | '_ \| | '__| __| '_ \ / _` |/ _` | | | |
| | | | (_| | |_) | |_) | |_| | | |_) | | | | |_| | | | (_| | (_| | |_| |
|_| |_|\__,_| .__/| .__/ \__, | |_.__/|_|_| \__|_| |_|\__,_|\__,_|\__, |
| | | | __/ | __/ |
|_| |_| |___/ |___/
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:29, archived)
Happy birthday (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:36,
archived)
Fucking hell.that truly is shit.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:41,
archived)
and he's in Aus so I can't even visit(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:42,
archived)
He's probably better off there than here given the state of the NHS, if that's any consolation. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:49,
archived)
that's what he said when I asked if he was coming back after diagnosis he's not going anywhere now anyway
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:21,
archived)
Oh bums.Well I hope you manage to have some fun today despite the shitty news.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:48,
archived)
I'll certainly have funbut with the odd twinge of premature survivor guilt
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:22,
archived)
I think that was on Donald Glover's list of potential stage names for his rap career before he settled on 'Childish Gambino.'(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 16:06,
archived)
Well this sounds pretty hollow But I hope there will be some happiness on your birthday today despite the circumstances. I'm so sorry.
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:18, archived)
thanks. bit of a bittersweet day tbhI'm having an amazing holiday but keep having moments of 'ah fuck'.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:29,
archived)
fuckWell, happy birthday to you and stunned, I suppose.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 13:14,
archived)
Happy Birthday And thank you to your pal and garold's BIL for putting my gripes into perspective
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 13:58,
archived)
That's shit news Still hope, though
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:37,
archived)
It's bad news and it'll be awful for thembut it's not unreasonable to be optimistic that he'll get through it.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:46,
archived)
I'm really sorry to hear that my dearI hope the outcome is positive and that he gets well
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:16, archived)
damn that's roughsorry to hear it m8
(
theniwokeup has been awake since, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:34,
archived)
Just had a big long chat with brother-in-law (I'm very fond of the fella)from everything we know we've every reason to hope for a positive outcome, but it's likely to involve brain surgery and a few months of 'orrible treatment with steroids. It's going to be unpleasant but we've every reason to be positive that the shit he and the family go through over the coming months will result in him making a full recovery. There's definitely risks, but they are low so it's a case of focusing on the next step in the process, bit-at-a-time.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:54,
archived)
hopefully the long term outcome is that he has a cool scar and a horrible anecdote(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 11:56, archived)
Indeedhe's a bit worried that he'll look like Pinhead from Hellraiser for a bit and traumatise his boys but I think at least one of them would find it cool AF.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 15:08,
archived)
Steroid treatment isn't pleasant but it's effectiveHope all goes well
(, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 12:42, archived)
Do the steroids mean he'll have a really muscular head afterwards? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 30 Sep 2023, 16:04,
archived)
Boogie Productions Down.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 9:08,
archived)
it was excellent tatook the train to Caiazzo last night for an 8 course pizza tasting menu at Pepe In Grani, actually got to meet Franco Pepe, it was magic. Back to the city today for an even poncier dinner tonight. PS I'm a big old bugger, not a likely mark for the gyppoes
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 10:10,
archived)
A poloneck, I presume (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 7:43,
archived)
no it's pronounced differently(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Sat 30 Sep 2023, 12:26,
archived)
Alright, virgins?It's obnoxious Friday - Go!
No Nazi stuff, obvs.
Or at least keep it light.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:29, archived)
What did the Nazi say about the burning pile of Jewish books?"Keep it 'light!"
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:35, archived)
Hello. I haven't seen you around here before.I'm the infamous Bou
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:37, archived)
if you were really bou you would have(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:40,
archived)
to be fair those are quite wide brackets(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:45,
archived)
yeah. /talk was good back then.(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:15,
archived)
Remember Flapjack he was funny and cleverAnd never bullied anyone
He was cool
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:19, archived)
Mykeyboy? Amorous Badger? Wicca'd witch? Dr Shambolic? Baldmonkey?
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:33, archived)
Glued eel is the only /talk poster worth remembering(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:46,
archived)
I've met him a couple of times when I was living in the Netherlands. He's cool. He's also ludicrously tall. Like, even by Dutch standards.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:31,
archived)
Mr. Tea. You would knowWhy aren't these people around anymore?
Have they just drifted away or was there anything exciting?
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:40, archived)
I couldn't say, Bou.I think most just got bored and moved on.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 29 Sep 2023, 19:39,
archived)
well, it was better. than death anyway.(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 20:01,
archived)
Then you'll be getting your lunch money stolenand your head down the toilet.
I run this place, and you'll tow the line or i'll go Rutherglen on you.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:41, archived)
YupI leafleted the whole area and bribed the right people, allegedly.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:44, archived)
that must have set you back about three fiddy(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 20:03,
archived)
Ok I'm none the wiserIt just says it's a town in Scotland
So now I'm guessing it's a rough town?
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:07, archived)
Worst Biggie Smalls tribute act ever(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 18:45,
archived)
I'm at work That's pretty obnoxious
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:37,
archived)
for you or the people you're working with?(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:42,
archived)
The offices are mostly empty when I get here (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:58,
archived)
fuck me when did you get resurrected?(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:39,
archived)
I had to swim back after they chucked me off the deck of an oil tanker for being awesomeIt was grim.
Just fish and plastic to eat.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:42, archived)
When I was young Little Chef was a treat. Can you imagine that? Jesus.My dad would buy us the pancakes with berries on the way to Carlisle.
But, yeah.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:59, archived)
little chef and carlisle in one day?fuck.
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 17:02,
archived)
Dianne Tombstein (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:00,
archived)
Well this one's stopped, so there's that(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 17:31,
archived)
you guys love elderly politicians I say 'you guys' like you were born and bred there
(
$$ β
, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 16:10,
archived)
You heard thew news from Naples?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 12:39,
archived)
Bunch of clowns went on a rampage, killed some guy who kept talking about vinyl records (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 12:51,
archived)
He was busy trying to shake hands with an elephant(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 15:00,
archived)
Upon seeing the music video, Steven Spielberg offered to create a TV show based around the band members' lives.(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 12:20,
archived)
morning. happy friday to all of my internet friends!*edit: sorry wrong website
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 6:50,
archived)
I'm always friendly Usually
Until you piss me off
Ok I see your point
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 8:02, archived)
Alligator Shitfuck all night long!(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 7:54,
archived)
Morning Upstairs neighbours' lunatic sister woke me up at 6 for the third day in a row, yelling into the intercom. Why she feels the need to call at such an ungodly hour is beyond me.
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 9:13,
archived)
Put superglue on the intercom buttonAnd write a note saying if she keeps yelling you will keep doing it
/evil
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 9:29, archived)
There's very little I can do I don't want to upset my neighbour, she is dying, after all
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 9:50,
archived)
Solve the problem by killing herThus she is neither upset, dying, or receiving intercom calls.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 10:06,
archived)
She's bedridden and has nurses with her most of the time Plus, I don't have the combination of the key safe, so I can't open her door
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 10:11,
archived)
It's not your fault she's dying It's her doctor's fault
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 12:42,
archived)
Refused to believe she had a water infection Left her suffering for over a month. Her daughters thought that the doctor was right and it wasn't until the district nurse saw her and packed her off to hospital that she got any treatment. She was in there for 5 months with complications, sent home for a week, back to hospital for another 3 months and her body is basically giving up. She's been sent home to die in peace.
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 14:30,
archived)
Probably shell shock or something(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 9:47,
archived)
She's a nightmare Goes everywhere with a pushchair filled with plastic bags, gets on the bus and takes about 20 copies of the metro and spends most of the day taking them to people's houses just so she can be nosy and gossip
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 10:09,
archived)
meybe she juss lov's de crachhh, eh la(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 11:13,
archived)
I've lived here all my life And I can honestly say that I have never heard anyone from Liverpool say that
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 11:33,
archived)
I'm off to work in three and a half hours (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 12:30,
archived)
Alright you miserable cunt:I have had a productive morning. Been to the dentist for a polish and a cast.
Then a haircut. Now I look like a sexy Levi Belfield.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 11:32, archived)
smelmet threadbuon fuckin giorno, tit-ends. Naples is cool as shit. what else is cool as shit, you can say some poo that has been in the fridge
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 17:21,
archived)
My line manager's last day was today.That's not cool as shit, she's great. But it does mean her job is up for grabs, and I'm basically the only realistic candidate. That is cool as shit. The pay rise would be cool as shit, but the pressure of the job might not be. In summary: lukewarm shit.
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 18:16, archived)
He's head of a troupe of clowns, currently in Naples on a specific job (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 18:50,
archived)
We have brought our own chairsI mean someone mentioned 'they had'
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:09, archived)
I replied to one of your posts yesterday and mentioned doing locum work in a pharmacy.What kind of stalker are you?
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 18:58, archived)
I expect he's got a humourous mug that proclaims he's a 'drug dealer'. The reality is much fewer glamorous.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:27,
archived)
I'm just going to be honest, my wife has a t-shirt she got from a department at work that says something like, "I β€οΈ DRUGS" and the back, "AND I MAKE THEM TOO"and just in case anyone hilariously the gets the wrong idea there's a big rX in there somewhere. Added bonus, it's ugly.
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:46,
archived)
She is often portrayed in Greek art as Winged Victory in the motion of flight; however, she can also appear without wings as "Wingless Victory" (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 20:15,
archived)
When gypsies get pregnant they produce a substance which provides a +5 stealth buff, that's why. (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:48,
archived)
gypsydipsin, in case you were wondering(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:53,
archived)
I've been asked to work at a big pharma for a few months, grand a week in my hand, no tax or naink. Start Monday,(
mongychops, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 18:41,
archived)
Those microchips won't put themselves in all the vaccines, you know.(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:00, archived)
Just don't tell Russell Brand, or we'll have to kill him.Dunno why we didn't just do that years ago, lol what are we like
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:14, archived)
I'm hoping he's developing a messiah complex and offs himself like David Koresh (
$$ β
, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 21:15,
archived)
he's not the messiahhe's a very naughty boy
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 22:06,
archived)
i wouldn't get out of bed for a grand a weekmind you, i am a mattress tester.
(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 19:26,
archived)
My brother once did watch paint dry for a living in a lab(
mongychops, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 20:03,
archived)
doesn't sound like a bad gig(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 20:22,
archived)
I'm sure it'll last all of 2 days, I can't do high pressure environments, I'm old.(
mongychops, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 21:19,
archived)
Me It's a bit nippy here
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 20:36,
archived)
“I don’t trust our government,” one woman said. “Bill Gates is a part of this … These mosquitoes are going to be flying syringes.”(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Fri 29 Sep 2023, 2:37,
archived)
Afternoon I was going to do laundry, but there's a cat on me. What were you going to do today?
Alt: what's for lunch?
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 12:44,
archived)
I have lessons but at least fewer than yesterday so I can rest a bitI just take a quick nap between preparing/having the lesson.
It's so nice having a cat to sleep on you
Very comforting
I'm having leftover macaroni for lunch
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 12:49, archived)
I think it would be better if you lost the 'b' though, it's superfluous(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 13:18, archived)
Once again, getting my news from b3ta (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 13:20,
archived)
That's nothing, I've just found out yet again that an acting great who died was in Harry Potter(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 15:18,
archived)
Didn’t he replace another actor that died after the first film?I could Google it but itβs too much like hard work
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 15:37, archived)
Richard Harris He was in the first 2, but died before they started filming the third
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 15:47,
archived)
DunnoYeah, apparently he replaced Richard Harris, best known for his surprise hit Macarthur's Park.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 15:49,
archived)
I'm not in work till 5It's fine having him sleep on me, until he farts. I think I'll have toast, I'm not really hungry
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 12:53,
archived)
He likes eating slugs So yes, they're absolutely fucking toxic
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 14:30,
archived)
If you're seriously wanting a career as a teacherof English as as foreign language, do the CELTA or DELTA course which is associated with Cambridge.
www.cambridgeenglish.org/
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 14:39, archived)
Not a full time teacherI just feel like doing something academic and one of my previous regulars completed TEFL
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 15:45, archived)
When I did my DTLLS they gave you £10k I think it was as they were begging for lecturers. I put it all up my nose. Great times
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 16:11, archived)
Well I did a TEFLAt the Tefl Academy which is quite good but Celta is better
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 16:16, archived)
You like a big purple one, eh?(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 14:31,
archived)
Whatever nurdles your crumpets (
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 16:23,
archived)
I'm at Stansted spoons having a delicious breakfast pint(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 8:05,
archived)
It's the hallucinations that are the real problemHe thinks he's at Stansted but it's actually Runcorn
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 8:34,
archived)
Where are you off to you massive spaz? EDIT. Just read itβs Naples. Hope itβs shit.
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 9:17, archived)
Have a good one Would like to see the Casa Del Portuale but I'd probably be deported for bringing my own ketchup
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 9:50,
archived)
Knowing airport lager it will be a pint of overpriced pisswater (, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 10:56, archived)
knowing queefit'll be a pint of airport baggage handlers' spunk
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 11:59, archived)
The Marc Almond special (
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 12:03,
archived)
So has he got like a hundred of them all lined up to contribute their own 5 ml, or is there this one guy with the most extreme case of hyperspermia known to medical science?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 28 Sep 2023, 14:25,
archived)
πβ‘οΈββ‘οΈπ©β‘οΈπ¨π»(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 9:54,
archived)
Morning comradesHow do you think today will go on a scale of 0-10?
Personally not globally
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 7:31, archived)
Probably a 6 I've got quite a few students Exhausting but at least lucrative
I'm tired
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 7:55, archived)
Do you wear a mask like MF Doom? MF Zoom
(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 10:02,
archived)
Zooooom, Moonbeams dancing in the afternoon(
Dick Wonder β wβββy, wβα΅₯y wββdβα΅£, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 10:03,
archived)
lolThat's a bloody good idea. I'll wear a mask when I feel tired and I look like shit
(, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 10:33, archived)
hoping for a 10street food tour in Naples l8r
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 8:06,
archived)
Well I poked myself in the eye with the corner of my pillow So I have a feeling that today is going to suck.
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 8:49,
archived)
Smash monkey is my original account Smash monkey 2 is the account I made for my phone when I couldn't remember my password
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 9:07,
archived)
Let's talk about the worst bullies and trolls of B3ta/talkWho do you vote for
HISTORICALLY
*you can't say Bou I'm not a bully or a troll. I belong in the weirdo camp.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 18:29, archived)
i dunno. everyone here is really nice.(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 18:31,
archived)
i think the internet just seemed harsher before colour monitors were invented(
MiseryCunt we of all lost both have them, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 18:38,
archived)
Did we have smartphones in 2004? I can't remember
I got called in for being on B3ta too much at work
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 19:07, archived)
yesb3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=11
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 18:47,
archived)
According to his "working from home bingo"He's quite the wanker
5 times a day jeez
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 18:53, archived)
I used to be pretty good. That comedy at the george fella said as much (
mongychops, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 18:57,
archived)
Do you mean the people who were most effective at it, or the ones who tried and were really bad at it?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 19:35,
archived)
Mykeyboy could be a right cunt, so it was always a joy to see him pretending to join in and 'laugh at himself' when everyone ripped it out of him for being gigantically obese,and you could see he was actually deeply hurt.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 19:37,
archived)
I think he was the first one to make me see redWe had a massive fight and then everybody joined in
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 19:42, archived)
ManolithHe banned my best friend, pr1ckb0t
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 19:41,
archived)
Honestly? I don't know. I don't think I've ever been bullied here. I've had people piss me off, but I've just blocked them.
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 20:15,
archived)
lol I don't.It's regretful that this one bloke on board blocks me as I usually like all his pictures, but anyone on my ignore list can die in a fire.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 20:45,
archived)
I just made a phone call to my wife as I stepped into a lift. Unsurprisingly the call was cut off after a few seconds.I have an MSci in theoretical physics from a highly ranked university. Make of that what you will.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 13:44,
archived)
Updating my notes now.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 13:52,
archived)
I'm updating my notes as I type this(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:27,
archived)
Close but no cigar.You might be thinking of The Mighty Badger?
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:10,
archived)
he's a lovely chap, I always thoughtI mean not always, sometimes I was thinking of completely different things, but you get the general idea
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:26,
archived)
There were far too many people on here whose usernames had Badger in them, I could never keep track of who was which.(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:29, archived)
who was that 3 stone spastic with the fat wife, the one with 'the archive'?he was one of the badgers I think. thought himself a top tier cyberbully until MEATSNAKE burst his bubble and he sloped off. You know, like a chinky
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:33,
archived)
amorous, I think.I met 'Ninja Badger' at one of teh b4shz0rz. I got a randomburn CD from him, and from that I could deduce that his music collection consisted entirely of "Now That's What I Call Landfill Indie 1999-2004" CDs.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:37, archived)
It was Amorous Badger and Wicca and they hated my gutsI called him Jack Sprat once and he went berserk on me
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 16:25, archived)
"landfill indie" is funny, not heard that before (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 17:42,
archived)
That name is redolent of the 2000s, a very dark time for humour on the internet.You couldn't move for cartoons and animations whose sole premise was the juxtaposition of two or more words from an approved list of supposedly inherently hilarious bisyllabic nouns, such as 'ninja', 'monkey', 'pirate', 'zombie', 'robot', 'mushroom' and of course 'badger'.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 19:53,
archived)
Yeah, in real life he was exactly as generic and bland as you'd expect.(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 22:28, archived)
'Fat wife' doesn't exactly narrow it down, this is beeter after all(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:52, archived)
Tits like kitchen binbags at cleaning out timeOr was that someone else?
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:00,
archived)
Only thing between your tits when you take your bra off is your big toe mate(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:44, archived)
LolI will have to remember that charming expression
'Takes notes'
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 16:50, archived)
That’s from Wormulous’ epic flounce. Probably my favourite post on b3ta(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 17:08,
archived)
What did MEATSNAKE do to AB?I really want to know now.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:11,
archived)
just slow burning satire reallypointing out how utterly bent 'the archive' was by lampooning it mercilessly. Basically bullying the bully, and, in a tale as old as time, AB couldn't hack it when people were laughing at rather than with him, and ran away.
There's a sad end to this story though - AB went missing for 6 months, only for his dessicated corpse to eventually be found in the sweaty, cheesy folds of his wife's gunt.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:20,
archived)
It's how he'd have wanted to go, I'm sure.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:26,
archived)
I mean who amonsgst us would really not like to die of starvation in a sweaty, cheesy gunt?(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:28,
archived)
RIP the Salacious Crumb of b3ta :*((
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:27,
archived)
Thank you MeatsnakeFor taking out that little bully and his horrid wife. They were so awful to me.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 16:31, archived)
I used to locum in the pharmacy there.Every Monday morning it was literally queued out the door with young women getting the morning-after pill. Also, more genital wart treatments than I've ever seen prescribed anywhere else.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:33, archived)
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place
Either with or without you
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:46,
archived)
might roll on the floor laughing in a minute(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:12,
archived)
fuckseriously though, peak /chat
(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 17:44,
archived)
Well you would say that, wouldn't you?/ac
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:11,
archived)
You have a Morgan Stanley capital international in theoretical physics?(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:27, archived)
AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BUM-BUM FROM OTHER GAY SPAZZES
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 15:37,
archived)
I think you don't really 'get' this place, at a fairly fundamental level.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 28 Sep 2023, 9:31,
archived)
I think I get it and I also think it's 2023 now.I don't think you lot understand what hate speech is. I don't think a lot of you understand that doing bigotry makes you a bigot.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 28 Sep 2023, 18:04,
archived)
Don't worry I'm sure she already thinks you're an idiot
(
Smash Monkey 2 It's Dennis on a smelly minge binge, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 16:04,
archived)
Science was invented by god to test the faith of the dinosaurs(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 17:51,
archived)
I think a more intriguing question is, how did you end up here(
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 17:48,
archived)
Hi QueefykinsThinking of jumping over the fence into government. Any thoughts?
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 11:03,
archived)
I can see myself as a benevolent dictatorHitler without the silly moustache
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 11:13, archived)
I'll have a little Hitler merkin(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 11:29,
archived)
hullo m8my sister worked for the govt doing disaster planning before she left to join the filth. She liked it
make of that what you will
(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 14:29,
archived)
Is it just a guy reading confessions of the screen? (
mofaha β( Λ_Λ)β Κ
(Μβ‘β)Κ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 12:11,
archived)
Alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 12:56,
archived)
Now thenWhich 'celeb' are you hoping to spot at the rail station today?
If it was me I'd go for someone out of B*witched.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 7:51, archived)
Dunno, prior to Gyles it was notorious canoe fraudster, Anne Darwin(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 8:14, archived)
She used to work at the local RSPCA centre.Moved here after she was released from prison.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 8:24, archived)
one of them had at some point sustained a substantial cranial injury(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 10:57,
archived)
I saw Barry Bulsara in London Fields once(
Queef Smegwin U r a ππ, Wed 27 Sep 2023, 10:55,
archived)
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