I know you wanna wee-wee
But I refuse to let you go
If I have to smeg and plead for your sympathy
I don't mind, 'cause you mean that much to me
Ain't too proud to smeg and you know it (sweet darlin')
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:50, Reply)

Aba daba cadebra
I wanna reach out and smegma
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:58, Reply)

I like the new one by Wet Smeg

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 12:04, Reply)

Smegmama mia!

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 8 May 2025, 12:15, Reply)

Here comes the smeg again
Falling on my head like a smegory
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 12:28, Reply)

I'm smegging in a box (smegging)
I'm smegging in a cardboard box
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 May 2025, 12:30, Reply)

John Wayne is Big Smeggy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 12:34, Reply)

I thought so

( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:03, Reply)

Shouting Lager lager lager lager Shouting... Lager lager lager Shouting smega smega white thing smega smega white thing smega smega white thing smega smega Shouting lager lager lager lager smega smega white thing smega smega white thing So many things to see and do In the tube hole true Blonde going etc.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:26, Reply)

If you knew Smeggy Sue
Then you'd know why I feel blue
Without Smeggy, my Smeggy Sue
Oh well I love you gal, yes, I love you Smeggy Sue
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:35, Reply)

Smeg smeg, smeg smeg smeg smeg, smeg smeg smeg smeg, smeg smeg there's smeg limit

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:40, Reply)

Smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers
Smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers
Smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers
Smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers, smeggy trousers
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:52, Reply)

er, no!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:36, Reply)

Here's a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it note for note. Don't worry. Be smeggy.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:55, Reply)

Hit me with your smeggy dick. Hit me! Hit me!

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:56, Reply)

It's raining smeg, hallelujah

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:58, Reply)

I'm Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um
With my extra smeg, deedle eedle eedle um
Wherever I go through rain and snow
The people always let me know
There's Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um
With his extra smeg, deedle eedle eedle um
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Where's your smeg at?
Where's your smeg at? Where's your smeg at?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:07, Reply)

Brown smegma, how come you taste so good?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:11, Reply)

Genuine lol out loud laughing on the floor at this one

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:25, Reply)

Oh Cecilia
My knob smells of cheese
I'm smegging you please to come home
Come on home
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:23, Reply)

It’s a little bit smeggy
This feeling inside
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:25, Reply)

Oh, when you smeg in Japan, tonight
Smeg in Japan, be tight
Smeg in Japan, ooh, the eastern sea's so blue
Smeg in Japan, alright
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:31, Reply)

You can smeg my bell, smeg my bell
(Smeg my bell, ding-dong-ding)
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:39, Reply)

It's all too smeggy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 14:41, Reply)

Gettin' smeggy wit it
(Willy Smith)
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 14:56, Reply)

We don't need no smeggy bell end
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the japper
[redacted], leave them kids alone
Hey! [redacted]! Leave them kids alone!
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:03, Reply)

10/10

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:06, Reply)

Smeg my bitch up

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:03, Reply)

"Smegfinger"

Smegfinger
He's the man, the man with the Midas touch
A spider's touch
Such a cold finger
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
But don't go in

Smegen words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
For a smegen girl knows when he's kissed her
It's the kiss of death from

Mister Smegfinger
Pretty girl beware of this heart of smeg
This heart is cold

Smegen words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
For a smegen girl knows when he's kissed her
It's the kiss of death from

Mister Smegfinger
Pretty girl beware of this heart of smeg
This heart is cold

He loves only smeg
Only smeg
He loves smeg
He loves only smeg
Only smeg
He loves smeg
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:06, Reply)

Smeg
It will come back to you
Smeg
It will come back to you
Then the shutter falls
You see it all in 3D
It's your favorite foreign movie
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:08, Reply)

The smeg'll flow, yo for the words I speak
Smeg is weak so I teach and I reach
A positive vibe, a way of life is how I'm livin'
So get hype to the rhythm
KLF is the crew, ya hear yeah
Design a rhyme I just won't fear
Back to react, enough is enough
Let me ask you a question -- What Time Is Smeg?
What time is Smeg?
What time is Smeg?
What time is Smeg?
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:15, Reply)

SMEG (Ah-aaaaah)
Saviour of the universe!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:19, Reply)

Smegs, I've had a few, and now I face the final curtain

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:46, Reply)

the long and winding smeg

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 8 May 2025, 15:53, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 6:08, Reply)

Pump up the smeg, pump it up
While your feet are stomping
And the smeg is pumping
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 7:17, Reply)

morning, I mean

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 7:17, Reply)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 8:28, Reply)

get everybody going on the smegma

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 8 May 2025, 8:48, Reply)

Get up, get up, get smeggy do it
Get up and move that body
Get up people now get down to it (before the smeg is over)
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:26, Reply)

I'm as serious as cegma
When I say rhythm is a smegma
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:35, Reply)

I'm not internationally known
But I'm known to smeg a microphone
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:32, Reply)

I don't want to see a smeg
That's the thing that I fear, Meg
I'd rather have a piece of egg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:11, Reply)

Morning Smegg man.
goo-goo g'joob
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 8 May 2025, 7:46, Reply)

Hiyas xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 8:28, Reply)

morning mista smegma

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 8 May 2025, 8:49, Reply)

feel like pure shit just want a new pope

( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:03, Reply)

I can't believe it's been two days since them slags started a conclave
Still freaks my nut to this day
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:32, Reply)

Got that Floating Points & Pharoah Sanders album on the go again.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 9:04, Reply)

don't you know by the jan hammer group here

( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:53, Reply)

I shall be observing a 2 min silence all day today out of respect for are brave boy's

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:59, Reply)

Can’t believe it’s been 80 years since them slags stopped fighting it still freaks my nut out to this day.

( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:15, Reply)

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:16, Reply)

This had better get on the popular page you unpatriotic swines

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:17, Reply)

please don't populol page this
it's a far right meme taken from britain first
( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:31, Reply)

It's great, isn't it?
In a similar vein, I recommend John Tchicai With Strings, which came out a couple of years earlier
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:04, Reply)

It's a beautiful thing to listen to.
I'll check out your recommendation after I've finished listening to Linkin Park.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 11:12, Reply)

I don't know. I really don't.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:38, Reply)

can you take me off mute please

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:48, Reply)

Candles

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:49, Reply)

sniff it

( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:54, Reply)

sniff it good
sn-sniff it real good
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:57, Reply)

THE NORTH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 8 May 2025, 9:54, Reply)

FOOK A DOOK

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:59, Reply)

EY UP

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:15, Reply)

Well what DO you know?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:02, Reply)

youtu.be/TrqncNVA0FY?si=IP76IX6zpj4HXEC_
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:52, Reply)

Yep, that is all you need to know.
Happy candles and that.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 8 May 2025, 12:32, Reply)

I've been offered a trial day for my dream job*
It's the day I'm having my wisdom teeth pulled

*Smegmeister General of the UK
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:33, Reply)

Pope?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:14, Reply)

no thanks I've just put one out

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:22, Reply)

foreskin inspector?

( $$ ✅, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:34, Reply)

Buy this magical amulet for good luck!
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:52, Reply)

Well you would say that wouldn't you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 May 2025, 10:55, Reply)

The hunger of a spirit must be satisfied like that of a mortal. It is for this reason that the ancients say: "หมอผีตายเพราะผี หมองูตายเพราะงู"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:44, Reply)

Hi there smegalomaniac's, how r u 2day

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8437973
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:05, Reply)

Same as always lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 17:08, Reply)

quack

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:14, Reply)

No that's me m8 haha

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 May 2025, 21:43, Reply)

my m8
Marmite
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 7 May 2025, 22:05, Reply)

aAaarRrRroOoOOOOOO

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:14, Reply)

:D
No, wait, damn it, never mind
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:31, Reply)

aaaAaAAARRRRRRrrrRrddddVAAAAAAAAARRRKKK!!!!!

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 18:57, Reply)

:D
Thanks vlad.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 19:55, Reply)

👍

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 21:44, Reply)

lol
i m gud ;) lol
( $$ ✅, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:25, Reply)

cant talk hear ill inbox u xx

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 May 2025, 18:57, Reply)

Good thanks. I've increased my evening run to 4 miles and reduced my pub stop off to a half pint.
At this rate I'll be running half marathons in a few weeks and hardly needing any beer at all.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 May 2025, 21:41, Reply)

you boring bastard

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 7 May 2025, 22:06, Reply)

This begs the question what are you running from?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 May 2025, 23:07, Reply)

Some sort of monster, would be my guess.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 May 2025, 7:38, Reply)

But in a way aren't we the real monsters?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 8 May 2025, 8:31, Reply)

the real monsters are the monsters we met along the way

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:11, Reply)

Perhaps the monsters were in us the whole time?
*chest explodes*
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:12, Reply)

pickled onion ftw

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Thu 8 May 2025, 9:49, Reply)

what does a ghost dog say
wooOoOoooOof!
( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:26, Reply)

"It was the fucking child, you idiot"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:29, Reply)

"you never even LIKED that vase"

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:33, Reply)

No it doesn't
It howls
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:44, Reply)

like a ghost owl

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:07, Reply)

ghowl, maybe yourszzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:12, Reply)

a phantowl

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:53, Reply)

a spirittle owl

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:54, Reply)

touched for the feather first time

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:13, Reply)

when your tit beats next to mine

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:20, Reply)

:-D

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:55, Reply)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 7 May 2025, 15:31, Reply)

Ylviszzzzzzzz

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:23, Reply)

Very little as it was the way of the samurai

( mongychops, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:38, Reply)

I liked that

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 May 2025, 17:04, Reply)

It says nothing, because it’s dead

Still, almost Friday
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:43, Reply)

It says nothing because ghosts don't exist.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 20:41, Reply)

Noon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 12:01, Reply)

Noonce

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:04, Reply)

MODS!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 12:07, Reply)

#remindme1week

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:59, Reply)

Wagwan me bredren

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:10, Reply)

White talk only please.
This is a racist thread for racist people.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 12:27, Reply)

GO BACK TO YOU’RE OWN COUNTRY!

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:43, Reply)

THERE NOT THE SAME LIKE US

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:04, Reply)

Special-I fashan dreadlocks inna de area
no offence
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:21, Reply)

See above.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 12:27, Reply)

Are you Peter Andre?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:33, Reply)

A racist Australian? Don't be ridiculous.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:35, Reply)

Yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 7 May 2025, 12:36, Reply)

The Giant?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:03, Reply)

3000

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:10, Reply)

I don't understand this, google obviously no help so I asked chatGPT and it told me a very obvious and foolish lie

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:15, Reply)

Try searching for Andre 3000 in something that isn't designed to stop people from developing any intelligence or lateral thinking skills of their own and isn't shit

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:22, Reply)

i didn't know to use the search term Andre 3000 because I don't know what that is and I've never heard it before, what do?
what do what do what do?
ALSO chat is much nicer to me than you're being right now, perhaps it could teach you some proper social skills
HA!
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 15:59, Reply)

That was uncalled for :(

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:11, Reply)

chatGPT told me to say it :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:18, Reply)

And do you do everything your chat Gay Penis Toucher tells you to?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 May 2025, 22:24, Reply)

I kind of like this quality it has
finding a small child with shards of smashed vase on the floor all around it, and a cricket bat in its hand, and saying to the small child, did you just break that vase, and the child saying, no
( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:22, Reply)

it was the dog
he did it when he was swinging this cricket bat around
( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:23, Reply)

and you say, the dog's been dead for a year
and the child says, yes he did it as a ghost dog
( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:24, Reply)

and I say, well that's one thing we got

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:36, Reply)

hahahahaha

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:38, Reply)

It's still an unfulfilled ambition of mine to find everyone who was involved in the creation of that song and bludgeon them to death.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:52, Reply)

ahaaaaaaaaaaa
yes why IS it so annoying
( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:06, Reply)

The lyrics, the band's name, and the music. In that order.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:15, Reply)

"Hey Todd, what shall we call our kick-ass new band?"
"I don't know, Dwayne, how about something, like, deep?"
"Whoa, Todd, that's, like, deep. I think we should have blue in there as well."
"Mind: blown, Dwayne. Deep Blue. Needs another word to roll off the tongue. What's deep and blue?"
"I dunno, Todd, like, something?"
"Nailed it!"

CUNTS
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:17, Reply)

"So this song, Todd, is about a girl who wants to break up with a guy but the guy doesn't want to break up with the girl."
"Amazing, Dwayne. How is he going to get her to stay?"
"He remembers that they both watched a film once, so he reminds her about it, and she thinks she remembers seeing it, and as she recalls, she thinks they both kinda liked it, so he says that's one thing they got. I'm going to leave it as a cliffhanger so you don't know if they stay together or not. The song is named after the film."
"I love it, Dwayne. What's it called?"
"A Serbian Film."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:26, Reply)

ahaaaaAAAAAA oh no

( vladimir, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:52, Reply)

Also anyone who actually liked Breakfast at Tiffany's needs a good smack around the head
so maybe the song is deliberately annoying, to really get you into the mindset of someone who could enjoy Audrey Hepburn playing a complete wanker.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 14:19, Reply)

How many have you managed to find and kill so far?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 May 2025, 22:22, Reply)

I'm not telling you, fed.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 8 May 2025, 11:07, Reply)

Did it make you feel like an OutKast?

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:30, Reply)

I'm sorry mofaha, ooooh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:32, Reply)

TERRIBLE BULLYING OF JOHNNY NOMATES

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 16:05, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 6:15, Reply)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 6:18, Reply)

Trotters Bar pint later m8?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 8:13, Reply)

Mange tout m8

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 8:26, Reply)

MAN GET OUT

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 7 May 2025, 8:55, Reply)

t m8 o, t mart o

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:06, Reply)

tea em-eight oh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:15, Reply)

yawning

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Wed 7 May 2025, 7:09, Reply)

Hi MC

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 8:13, Reply)

Dreadful night's sleep

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 May 2025, 8:02, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 8:13, Reply)

I know

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 May 2025, 8:53, Reply)

yippy

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 May 2025, 8:12, Reply)

Gazza.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 8:13, Reply)

Morning, fuckers.
/ac
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 8:56, Reply)

Aardvark

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 9:44, Reply)

Swallace

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 9:45, Reply)

Can't wait for new raw unfiltered hot Pope action today

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 May 2025, 9:10, Reply)

I have inside information that suggests it'll be garold.
Keep that to yourself though, ok?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 9:29, Reply)

Political Correctness gone mad

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 May 2025, 9:42, Reply)

*unpacks the old cappello romano*
Can't wait till they take off me kegs and parade me above the pontifs!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:55, Reply)

The pope isn't wearing any clothes! And he's hideously aroused!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 13:07, Reply)

Huh I really had Vlad down for it
funny old world eh?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:57, Reply)

Vlad's ineligible due to being the next reincarnation of the Dalai Lama.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 7 May 2025, 11:08, Reply)

Hot Bishops are in your area

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 May 2025, 9:42, Reply)

The Dead Pope Blues

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 9:44, Reply)

HOT ITALIAN SHITPOPE ACTION

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 9:48, Reply)

LEAVE GAROLD ALONE

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:58, Reply)

Is that a Pontiff in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:11, Reply)

Yes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 7 May 2025, 10:23, Reply)

Sorry, it just poped out

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:38, Reply)

You mitre warned me

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:40, Reply)

Applause

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:55, Reply)

Excellent

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 7 May 2025, 11:40, Reply)

I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 11:46, Reply)

I broke my phone. I got a new one. Fucking hell setting one of these cunts up is like old school buying a new pc. 2 hours I think it's took. Too old for this shit?

( mongychops, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:28, Reply)

I'm with tesco mobile
Any time I need a new phone, they sort it out in-store in about 20 minutes, with everything transferred to the new phone.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:32, Reply)

I was a cheap cable away from being able to do that.

( mongychops, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:44, Reply)

Isn't it always the way?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:45, Reply)

away?

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:53, Reply)

One of my wife's sisters called yesterday to pressure her into getting an iPhone because she's now the last one on Android
Probably have a full-scale intervention soon.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:37, Reply)

I've only ever owned an iPod nano. Not sure what those hippy's are up to now

( mongychops, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:47, Reply)

Dude, how many wifes have you got?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 20:27, Reply)

How many are you looking to buy?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 21:18, Reply)

Are you open to a bulk discount?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 21:26, Reply)

if you're open to bulky wives

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 21:32, Reply)

I think we have ourselves a deal.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 21:45, Reply)

Throw in some 11p ham

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 6 May 2025, 22:55, Reply)

A leaked CIA study reveals a 7-minute sound that attracts wealth effortlessly! 🎧✨🔊 Listen now

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 2:50, Reply)

*parp*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 7 May 2025, 10:56, Reply)

alright Henry VIII

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 20:34, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8335962
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 21:28, Reply)

Yeah it's a fucking arse ache eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:40, Reply)

Wouldn't let me log in here a few times. A few times! That's how much I care and should be made mod pope

( mongychops, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:45, Reply)

totes AND blates

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:48, Reply)

Get in that conclave and beat the bishop

( mongychops, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:52, Reply)

i'm sending some smoke up the chimney right now

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:50, Reply)

do you mind i'm trying to relax

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:54, Reply)

doesn't google just migrate all your apps etc to the new phopne when you sign in?
that's what happened to me i thought it was pretty painless tbh
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:52, Reply)

I deny permission for most stuff. Like saying no.

( mongychops, Tue 6 May 2025, 20:16, Reply)

This banana bread I’ve made has given me the raging toots

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 22:08, Reply)

put a banging donk on it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 0:35, Reply)

I'm surprised a Siberian labour camp for incurable nonces even has WiFi.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 17:32, Reply)

That was meant to be in reply to spanners's post, which has now vanished.
How odd.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 17:33, Reply)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 May 2025, 17:44, Reply)

Alright.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 20:28, Reply)

Did someone flouce?!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 21:23, Reply)

Is that how you're posting on b three tea eh?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 6 May 2025, 18:10, Reply)

Well I for one am impressed by the facilities.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 6 May 2025, 18:12, Reply)

"Admirably conducive to Sudden Death Syndrome"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 18:50, Reply)

There won't be any of those luxuries available when Alcatraz reopens, I can tell you that.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 18:48, Reply)

I can't believe it's not butter!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:16, Reply)

-u +3 -ter +a

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:32, Reply)

Woah

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 22:36, Reply)

Makes sense to me
If you're an incurable nonce, you're going to be looking at kids online, which the prison will know about immediately, letting them give the appropriate punishment
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 19:33, Reply)

Hullo flatulist's, it's me (Queef) here with a cool new thread
How are u today lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:24, Reply)

going to spend the afternoon guffing around in the kitchen

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:30, Reply)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:58, Reply)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:47, Reply)

$$

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:48, Reply)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:57, Reply)

it's beer of the nicky nacky cock!

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:17, Reply)

Just saw the speech my late uni friend's partner gave at his celebration,
sounds like he was as grudge-fuelled, impatient and angry as he was when we were young. Makes my heart glad, good on him for making it to 49 in the States without someone shooting him.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:34, Reply)

Hey, nice thread man.
Hope you have a great day!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:41, Reply)

I'm making a 6-dish dinner
There are only two of us eating it and my wife is on a diet. What a knob
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 17:17, Reply)

I like the Pope coz the Pope smokes dope!
Lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:59, Reply)

Pope Highus the 420th
lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:00, Reply)

herba maximus

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:08, Reply)

rolling papals

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:29, Reply)

Haha, classic!
Do you know what I heard? I heard that Adihash gives you speed!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 17:18, Reply)

'erb erry day

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:08, Reply)

SWED 👍🏻

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:28, Reply)

Stricken with a stomach bug
It's annoying
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:24, Reply)

stricken is a great word tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:30, Reply)

Alex Salmond lived in Strichen in Aberdeenshire, true story.
Pronounced like a Scouser saying stricken.

like a Scouser saying stricken dead
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:33, Reply)

It is indeed

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:26, Reply)

It's annoying Turtle power
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:30, Reply)

Too many syllables.
If Smash Monkey had said "Stricken with an arse bug" then we'd have been golden.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:43, Reply)

Well bless you for still trying, it's too painful for me :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:46, Reply)

RIP :(

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:47, Reply)

ಥ_ಥ

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:51, Reply)

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⠀⠉⠈⠒⠃⠐⠬⠌⠥⠐⠡⣌⣑⣌⢒⣀⠆⢡⠒⡈⡄⠣⢄⠃⡔⢡⠊⡄⠣⢌⠰⡁⢂⠡⣑⡂⣌⣑⣨⠬⠡⠜⠠⠮⠴⠎⠚⠚⠉⠉

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:53, Reply)

it's the biggest, roundest, saddest thing I've seen today

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:55, Reply)

+ and I've seen Donald Trump's head!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:58, Reply)

Donald Trump's head!
my gunt
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 18:45, Reply)

alright Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 7 May 2025, 8:34, Reply)

+cheese

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 7 May 2025, 0:33, Reply)

I know, but you could fit both syllables of "stomach" into the penultimate note.
That's what I did in my head anyway, and ain't nobody gonna have stopped me.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:52, Reply)

see this is why he left

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:54, Reply)

He died for our sins, but he will rise again.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:00, Reply)

I think he will be back

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:04, Reply)

he has risen

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:07, Reply)

my peanus, I mean

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:07, Reply)

Who? Jesus?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:10, Reply)

it's more important than that ok

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 16:17, Reply)

It is affecting my arse

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 14:47, Reply)

-it's annoying
+ doo dah, doo dah
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 6 May 2025, 17:08, Reply)

Alright Ian

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 May 2025, 14:09, Reply)

No real Gareth Hales plz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 17:20, Reply)

Buongiorno tutti!
Today I went to the Italian Consulate on the Farringdon Road and presented my documents. I'm pleased to say I had all the paperwork in order, it's been accepted and confirmed by the official assessing my case and my application to become and Italian citizen is now being processed by the Ministerio del Interior.

All things being equal (my partner not dying or divorcing me and there not being a big European war or something) I'm reasonably optimistic than within the next two years I'll be joint British/Italian.

Molto bene!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:14, Reply)

Traitor

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:15, Reply)

^

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:37, Reply)

With my new identity
I'm sure I could easily fight for any side and switch when convenient.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:48, Reply)

That sort of talk just makes me trust you less!

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:00, Reply)

Hard Brexit now!

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:22, Reply)

*waves goodbye*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:49, Reply)

Mine certainly is.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:54, Reply)

Thank goodness there's no potential for war in the near future!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:32, Reply)

Ziggy says "uh oh"...
What could he mean?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:38, Reply)

Ashes to Ashes

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:46, Reply)

the album about Bowie's cricket addiction

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 18:39, Reply)

Brilliant, congratulations!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:36, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8446115
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:42, Reply)

good work!

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 11:49, Reply)

do they give you a vespa and a big ham?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:00, Reply)

you get one of these
www.provisioneronline.com/ext/resources/Industry-News/2019/Veroni-Giant-Mortadella-copy.jpg?1559661336
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:22, Reply)

Yes.
Once it's fully inserted, you become Italian immediately.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:41, Reply)

then the strings burst open and all the pigs burst out

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:42, Reply)

molto molto bene garoldino mio
( vladimir, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:22, Reply)

Some people will go to any lengths to be ruled by a far-right neo-fascist government slightly sooner than the rest of us.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 12:24, Reply)

Yes, but GREAT uniforms though.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:18, Reply)

darling little armbands, boots to die for!
fuck sorry i thought we were doing old-style nazis
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 6 May 2025, 13:40, Reply)

morning

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 6 May 2025, 5:37, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 May 2025, 5:40, Reply)

back to the grind

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Tue 6 May 2025, 5:47, Reply)

You divi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 May 2025, 5:57, Reply)

+r

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 5:59, Reply)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 5:59, Reply)

Is it though?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:04, Reply)

I just checked and it is.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:08, Reply)

I'm only believing this now because you said it, UToL.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:59, Reply)

I am the one reliable news source in these troubling times.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:52, Reply)

Morning
I've got a fun game we can all play, tell me your passwords.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:09, Reply)

haha long ago I adopted a very clever password system intended to outwit the malevolent, it turns out who it is best designed to outwit is me
( vladimir, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:29, Reply)

PriapismicClusterSpunk223!

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:31, Reply)

"passwords"
on the basis that "password" would be too obvious, and nobody's going to guess the plural.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:45, Reply)

arseboondilbaro69

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:00, Reply)

I knew it was you really

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:32, Reply)

GEOSTORM420

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:08, Reply)

GEOSTORM

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:44, Reply)

#erectiledysfunktion

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 6 May 2025, 10:16, Reply)

morning

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:31, Reply)

Oh what a glorious morning
Oh what a wonderful day. I've got a glorious feeling, something something something is gaaaaaaay
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:35, Reply)

way ahead of you

( $$ ✅, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:41, Reply)

dibnah, I have the next two days off
gonna rustle up a Turkish feast today I think
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:46, Reply)

Turkish?
I didn’t vote Reform to have this sort of foreign muck on /chat
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 9:59, Reply)

I think he means he's going to unlawfully return refugees to their countries of origin, where they're in danger of harm.
#MTGA
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:04, Reply)

50p harm
That’s xenophobia sorted
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:06, Reply)

50p haram
That's Ramadan sorted
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:29, Reply)

50p harambe
That's gorillas sorted
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:51, Reply)

Too soon

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:56, Reply)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 6 May 2025, 10:19, Reply)

Quick drive-by bollocks

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 21:49, Reply)

🚙 - bollocks ok

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 22:00, Reply)

Impressed
- mine don't reach the pedals
( Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Mon 5 May 2025, 22:34, Reply)

It's amusing to me that there is a meat-based food called 'head cheese', which I can actually imagine Queef trying to make at home.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_cheese
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 17:45, Reply)

Oh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 5 May 2025, 17:57, Reply)

This place would be dead on its arse if I stopped posting.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 18:35, Reply)

A "dairy free" cheese?
May not be suitable for vegans.
( Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:58, Reply)

what about a cheesy free dare?

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 20:07, Reply)

well get this, right, it's going to blow your mind,
there is also an actual cheese known as flower cheese www.truefoodies.com/world-cheese-encyclopaedia/tag/Anthotyros#
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:24, Reply)

Sounds pretty tasty actually.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 18:31, Reply)

it's lovely
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 19:08, Reply)

I heard a story about someone trying that and finding a tooth in it
This is my favorite cheese out of all the cheeses that are covered in old plaster crumbs.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:36, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guffing
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:46, Reply)

"Fart" redirects here. For usage of the term, see Fart (word). For other uses, see Fart (disambiguation).

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:52, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulist
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 18:53, Reply)

My niece is a flautist
So far, she hasn't been booked for the wrong gig.
( Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:56, Reply)

I always wondered what Queef looked like

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 19:03, Reply)

Gareth Hale's stunt double?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 19:50, Reply)

The term He-gassen (屁合戦), "farting competitions", is applied to Edo-period art scrolls depicting flatulence.[citation needed]
He-gassen is garold's flatulist name
LOL
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 20:53, Reply)

OH LAWD, HE GASSEN!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 22:09, Reply)

garold: could I BE passing any more gas?! *laughter*

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 22:42, Reply)

I believe it's what we would call brawn

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 5 May 2025, 21:09, Reply)

*sunshiners*
Get a load of THAT
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 15:53, Reply)

significant shrinkage

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 16:25, Reply)

Fuck

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 5 May 2025, 16:55, Reply)

cocked and loaded

( $$ ✅, Mon 5 May 2025, 17:04, Reply)

Yeah?
Yeah.
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 17:13, Reply)

GOOD AFTERNOON FELCHERS

( Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:53, Reply)

can't believe I've logged into a Porridge fan forum again by mistake fml
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:55, Reply)

DON’T TELL HIM PIKE!

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:01, Reply)

:-D

( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:10, Reply)

:D-

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:16, Reply)

8=====D;

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:19, Reply)

well that was wonderful, shall I make us all a cup of tea now
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:24, Reply)

I'll have mine shaken, not stirred
Thanks
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 15:21, Reply)

right you are, MiseryCunt, right you are

( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 16:01, Reply)

Just leave mine on the bedside table as usual please,
I'll drink it when I've finished my wank and taken my blindfold off.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 5 May 2025, 17:07, Reply)

:)

( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 18:19, Reply)

gRIttY REMake

( Invisible Wizard - 11th Level MERPer, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:17, Reply)

Gritty MacLean

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:24, Reply)

MONKEY SPUNK
not really, giraffe jizz
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:10, Reply)

I'm comfy and warm
And my phone hasn't rung once today. I'm in a good mood.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:19, Reply)

I've knocked off, and having a crafty pint in The Goose before heading home, off til Thurs now
might oral an ocelot
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:38, Reply)

or masturbate a marmoset

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:38, Reply)

possibly tit up a terrapin

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:43, Reply)

maybe penis/scrotum a pelican

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:50, Reply)

alright mickey, how's your moped running

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:20, Reply)

not bad ta

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:39, Reply)

I'm off work till wednesday
just spent the weekend in manchester for my birthday, I am absolutely knackered
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:20, Reply)

happy belated birthday sticklebricks, I hope you had a good time

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:48, Reply)

thank you, I really did :)

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:26, Reply)

fuck you, ok
archive.org/details/the_dilbert_hole/13.png
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:46, Reply)

I second this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:37, Reply)

i turd this

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:11, Reply)

Happy birthday BFF XX

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 12:48, Reply)

ffs m8 no need to call him a Big Fat Fanny, it's his birthday

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:50, Reply)

See you in a week :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 13:01, Reply)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 13:47, Reply)

Hello!
How was the #awks meal the other day? You patched things up with Mrs Q? Hope you’re good.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:18, Reply)

yeah it ended up being fine, we're sound. thanks for asking
The meal itself was fucking awful though. £26 for a piss poor roast: the meat was well cooked which is the hardest to get right one might think, but the yorkshires and spuds were fucking burnt. Excellent rhubarb and ginger negroni* to open.

*[redacted] klaxon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:42, Reply)

smash that like button and subscribe, guy's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:51, Reply)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 6:22, Reply)

I suppose it is.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 8:20, Reply)

^ poopigeon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 9:32, Reply)

Best type of igeon IYAM.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 5 May 2025, 10:47, Reply)

morning smegg

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 9:08, Reply)

^ testicular tortoise

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 9:31, Reply)

bout right

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 9:32, Reply)

minge + tits = ?

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 9:22, Reply)

^ muff marmoset

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 9:31, Reply)

it's interesting that you should ask about tits because
I've just downloaded a birdsong app and it tells you what's singing. it turns out I am experiencing this as a mixed blessing. Much like learning another language, when the beautiful hazy mystery of all the words around you resolves into HALF PRICE CHOPS and DON'T PARK HERE and so on, now, instead of hearing the sounds without literacy, I say oh it's a chaffinch again
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:32, Reply)

I've lost something here, I can't deny it
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:33, Reply)

is it 'your fucking mind', perchance?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:46, Reply)

oh come on that's old news, the horse has bolted, run right over the hill
and is currently quite a long way east of Orosháza on that front
( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:54, Reply)

‘ve just downloaded a birdsong app and it tells you what's singing. it turns out I am experiencing this as a mixed blessing. Much like learning another language, when the beautiful hazy mystery of all the words around you resolves into HALF PRICE CHOPS and DON'T PARK HERE and so on, now, instead of hearing the sounds without literacy, I say oh it's a chaffinch again

like boobies
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:56, Reply)

ahahahaha that's a name for a bird too THAT'S A NAME FOR BIRD TOO \o/

( vladimir, Mon 5 May 2025, 12:42, Reply)

wee-wee tapir

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 9:23, Reply)

^ assbadger

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 9:30, Reply)

^ Gooch Platypus

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 5 May 2025, 10:08, Reply)

Too far, Trouser.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 5 May 2025, 10:10, Reply)

I heard that you pet furry animals, like dogs and cats.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 5 May 2025, 10:12, Reply)

their asses are bare, everyone can see them

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 11:46, Reply)

50p ham

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 5 May 2025, 10:04, Reply)

Don't eat the discounted ham, Hats!
It's people!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 5 May 2025, 10:13, Reply)

that's lunch sorted

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 5 May 2025, 10:41, Reply)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 20:55, Reply)

fuck off then

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:05, Reply)

it's raining here so the cat's been indoors all day, now she's bored so I just got fucking mauled
and again ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:07, Reply)

is your cat a gremlin?

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:08, Reply)

is like saying, is your hand a foot?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:12, Reply)

no. cats can get wet.

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:21, Reply)

so, is your cat a cat that can get wet, or is your cat a gremlin that cannot get wet, is that what you're asking, because it's a cat ok
that's why I said cat and not gremlin
fuck I keep typing car instead of cat
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:24, Reply)

my car hates getting wet

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 0:43, Reply)

is your car a gremlin?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 1:29, Reply)

well what a silly thing to ask mof

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 9:31, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8445979
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 5 May 2025, 14:08, Reply)

whiteweewee.com - server not found? Chance of a lifetime right there.
Not so sure about this one...
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:18, Reply)

i'll make them an offer

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:21, Reply)

You'll need a deposit

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 21:22, Reply)

i'll talk to my wank manager

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 0:44, Reply)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 5 May 2025, 0:52, Reply)

you would say that

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Mon 5 May 2025, 1:11, Reply)

Pushing that penis/scrotum down the board

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 4 May 2025, 17:07, Reply)

#sunshiner

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 May 2025, 17:09, Reply)

#ErryDay #AllDay

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 4 May 2025, 17:21, Reply)

I say penis/scrotum has had its day, what say you?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 17:39, Reply)

I say you only say that because you haven’t seen MY penis/scrotum
It’s the new hotness.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 4 May 2025, 18:12, Reply)

we've all seen your website aaRRrrRrrdvaaAaRRrrkkK
a great many times, in some cases
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 18:25, Reply)

:D
Everyone loves hardvark.co.ck
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:07, Reply)

oh my

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:10, Reply)

And now when I say penis/scrotum has had its day, what say you
What say you, what say you
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 4 May 2025, 18:48, Reply)

who controls the penis now controls the scrotum
who controls the scrotum now controls the penis
who controls the penis now controls the scrotum
Who controls the bellend now?
( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:17, Reply)

I do m8, I FUCKEN DO.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 4 May 2025, 19:20, Reply)

TESTICLEFY!

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:21, Reply)

SMEGMA

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 4 May 2025, 18:51, Reply)

finally the voice of sanity

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:00, Reply)

CeCe Penistum, maybe yours will catch in your zipper

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:06, Reply)

ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:34, Reply)

That would cause significant chafing

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:18, Reply)

ahh yeahhh

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:27, Reply)

It's all sexy and erotic till your japper gets rug burn

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:43, Reply)

that's when i start getting aroused

( MiseryCunt no alarms and no sausages, Sun 4 May 2025, 19:44, Reply)