Always have a soup ladle when you go into the jungle!
How to fight a tiger.
(
Blackdogmanguitar is out with Fat Larry's Jazz Band on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:57,
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Crawley Town vid featuring the Arm waving insult man!
(Guy on the right in the dark cap)
(
mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:15,
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Aww, the magic of the cup...
...Where the media completely ignore the fact that the minnows are managed by a man convicted of fraud, outed as a cheat and regarded as an all round scumbag in non-league scenes
Steve Evans
(
jaymz, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 19:02,
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I like this!
*click*
(
LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:42,
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Seriously...
Arresting someone for that is ludicrous - it's beyond stupid and, to put on my Daily Fail hat, it's political correctness gone mad.
If he can be arrested for that then almost any user of b3ta can be done under the same laws. How many times have the Twin Towers been shopped? How many Maddie jokes have been made. And don't get me started on Sickepeida.
This is stupid law administered by stupid people.
Cheers
C
(
Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:15,
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Tory minister admits he does fuck all
for the Big Society
(
Sheriff John Bunnell https://twitter.com/thewonderfulgam, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:26,
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Remix here:
audioboo.fm/boos/277993-eddie-mair-vs-francis-maude-remix
(
Sheriff John Bunnell https://twitter.com/thewonderfulgam, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:32,
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Eddie Mair now owns Francis Maude
But for 50p he will let you pet him.
Whenever I hear a Tory talking about the Big Society I'm reminded of this classic 80s horror film.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_%28film%29
(, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:51, Share, Reply)
haha...
..all I can think about is the thick of it when I hear this.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:05, Share, Reply)
Goodbye Norman's Jeans
I made this!
The Tam Tam Club present...something puerile
(
Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:02,
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PROPER WEB SLINGERS :D
whilst I'm sure that they will no doubt lead to a licensed web slinging product, I for one am glad to see them
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:40, Share, Reply)
Are you spamming your blog?
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:44,
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Is it Geoff?
I bet it's Geoff, isn't it!?
(
mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:52,
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looks awesome, massive version on aintitcool
labels: film, images, spider-man, the amazing spider-man, titiel
(
(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:04,
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Haha
"Stop! Stop that!"
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:58,
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My thoughts exactly,
also my pussies are now staring intently at my speakers after I played that...
(
..wil, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:06,
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Loving the very last bit where
the chicken says, "Fuck"
(
edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 14:57,
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Right, stop that
Its too silly
(
boyo81 was laying down his ordinance on, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 14:47,
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Selling and possession of live badgers.
'A person is guilty of an offence if, except as permitted by or under this Act, he sells a live badger or offers one for sale or has a live badger in his possession or under his control.'
Maybe I read too much legislation but this gave me a little chuckle, images of dingy pubs in east London trying to purchase wildlife off a bloke named Barry 'The Badger'
(
SpookySpoon www.vivino.com/users/hig.func, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:25,
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I'd imagine they'd make mental pets
when I was younger I always wanted a pet fruit bat but they'd die of lonliness apparently, I'll just have to build my own batcave
(
Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:41,
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I still want one though...
Loneliness eh? I guess I'll just have to take it everywhere I go...oh well!
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:55,
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Even baby ones smell worse than satans armpit
Mrs Littleesirjohn worked in an office where someone reared an orphaned one
(all legit, ask me no questions, I tell you no lies)
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 19:43, Share, Reply)
damn and blast
this puts my new idea of badger chariot races out of the window
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:54, Share, Reply)
Technically you could race them
If they do it of their own free will and adequate safety measures are in place, but this is expensive and time consuming.
Racing rats/mices etc would be far more profitable due to such activities being wholly unregulated.
(
SpookySpoon www.vivino.com/users/hig.func, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:02,
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We use Badger offences all the time
to test our software... Don't ask!
(
DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:48,
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Theres a wonderfully surreal bit in the Oxford Union rules
about bringing dogs into the Union.
It goes something like (cant be bothered to find it):
"Dogs are not permitted on union grounds under any circumstances. Any animal providing assistance to the disabled shall be deemed a badger, any animal on the grounds with the express permission of the President shall be deemed a ferret, any animal on the grounds on police business shall be deemed a wombat"
(
Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:55,
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A handy infographic guide to inflation
Someone on here last week was asking why we can't just print more money to boost the economy. This simple guide explains inflation and in turn, explains why printing money is bad.
Not funny or clever, but interesting to anyone who doesn't understand inflation and why we keep (economically) shooting ourselves in the foot.
(
Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:01,
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Pretty Good
I have a bank of Zimbabwe 100 trillion dollar note, just so I can Say I'm an excentric multi trillionaire.
although it only cost me 80p :)
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:27, Share, Reply)
I really liked this.
I knew what inflation was, but hadn't really thought through three causes before.
This link is both interesting, and nicely designed. Blimey.
(
prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:30,
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I learned something
Didn't expect that. It never occurred to me that inflation could be good if you owed money.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:47,
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That was the bit I kind of questioned...
...because although it would be good for your debt, it would still make your salary worth less, in terms of how much you could buy.
Inflation always buggers the least well paid most, as their mass-agreed salaries don't "catch up" fast enough, as opposed to those in suits who can normally go and knock on the big cheeses' doors and ask for more...
(
prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:00,
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what was athet Mayer Rothschild quote?
"give me control fo a nations money and I care not who makes the laws"
central banks lend to the government and charge interest, which is interesting when you consider a nation has the capacity to print its own currency and issue without debt. Nationalised or privately owned? makes you wonder. The '77 BOE Act makes finding out who the shareholders of the bank of england a state secret apparently when they created the BOE nominees ltd. The '98 BOE act passed by Brown was even more interesting.
that's all I'm going to say on the subject
(
Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:47,
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Still dont get it.
Surely if 'they' printed enough money for everyone to have a million quid, we'd all be millionaires and not need to work or starve.
(
acab, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:55,
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I like your thinking
'they' have made it so everytime they print money they lend it with attached debt. So what happens when there is not enough money in circulation to cover the debt, if every time they issue it they attach debt to it? the debtor pays with real world asets like property and labour. they print paper and collect payment via assets. genius
(
Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:01,
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I have chosen...
...to decide you are being funny.
If not, try exchanging your savings into Zimbabwean (or even something less dramatic but higher denomenation like Turkish) currency, and tell me if you suddenly feel like Roman Abramovich. Money isn't worth anything in itself, only in what you can exchange it for.
(
prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:03,
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Bank notes
aren't even money. They are just fancy IOUs.
(
TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:17,
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Worse than that...
They are exchangable and tradable IOUs from the Bank of England.
Those buggers are more in debt than any of us, and they don't even know who to!
*shakes fist in anger*
(
prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:32,
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Student debt?
Cheapest debt you'll ever have.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:25,
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Not really
Student debt tracks to inflation (with a few quirks when the inflation measure they use approaches 0), so you're in theory always owing the same amount in real terms.
(
Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:02,
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so....
can't we just burn some money?
Obviously not mine, I haven't got enough to make a decent fire...
(, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 19:05, Share, Reply)
Nintendoscope
For when you need to make an old gameboy even more awesome.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:57, Share, Reply)
I honestly have to say
"what is the point"
doesn't mean it's not awesome though.
does this mean it's Art?
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:02, Share, Reply)
I think the point is
He re-routed his gameboy into an oscilloscope.
(
Hellzapoppin, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:11,
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An oscilloscope like that
is much easier to display a picture on than a TV, too, as you don't have to encode the video data into a PAL/NTSC signal.
(
benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:15,
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I've long since learned that nerds are only happy when they have something to be unhappy about :-p
(and should know, being one myself)
(
Hellzapoppin, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:31,
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this is about as bad as Roland Emmerich doing a movie version of Asimovs Foundation series.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:55, Share, Reply)
fffs
Is there anything they won't make a fucking re-make of?
Is Hollywood absolutely bereft of of producers and script-writers?
(
Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:00,
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There are writers out there
but unless your idea is 'pre-sold' , or stars someone like Adam sandler or jennifer Aniston studios won't bump up more than about $20m budget.
We will probably NEVER see another out of nowhere blockbuster like Indiana Jones or Close Encounters
(
Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:46,
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Oh, I don't know,
Slumdog Millionaire did alright for $15m, Inception was a huge gamble too.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:54,
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But
didn't they have a well know cast (or director) behind them?
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:20, Share, Reply)
Was about to say District 9
...then remembered that it was produced by Peter Jackson. I'll keep thinking...
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:18,
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Are you by any chance arguing
that the director of both Close Encounters and Raiders of the Lost Ark wasn't well known at the time? Or that the lead actor in Indiana Jones was unknown?
Just checking...
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:35,
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Are you suggesting that hollywood is a great risk taker?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZazEM8cgt0
(music but applies to films)
(
Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:42,
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i call it a modern remake of an old classic.
This is not for our generation... we still have the original...
this is for the younger lot... let them have their version and stop grumbling about it...
It's not like they are shooting the film over the negatives of the old one.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:00, Share, Reply)
I still think Russel Brand should die in a fire
after having his entire body rubbed in sandpaper for a week
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:02, Share, Reply)
and then dipped in a bath of salt
before the cleansing fire?
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:04, Share, Reply)
TCP for a while first
hurt like hell whilst ensuring no infections. That way we can prolong his suffering.
(
Hellzapoppin, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:08,
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your welcome to think that
but thinking such things about someone you've never met is a little pathetic...
i dont like him that much.. but rather than fantasising about killing him i just turn off the telly.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:08, Share, Reply)
It's not a fantasy
I've actually got him tied up in my attic. Just need to find an abandoned house and move him there before I set it alight.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:10, Share, Reply)
that's a bit much
I think perhaps he should be locked in the house before it burns, with the only source of loo roll being his worthless books, and the only form of entertainment being his own movies.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:09, Share, Reply)
seriously
you guys need to get out more... you've got rage issues... testosterone does that if its allowed to build up... go for a run, or maybe fantasise about killing people who deserve it.. like the gays.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:12, Share, Reply)
I
went to see the original at the cinema when it came out and it was fucking shit then and I highly doubt that the addition of Russell Cunt will make it significantly worse, any more than the addition of genital warts would make ebola significantly worse.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:21, Share, Reply)
I like the cut of your
jib
(
Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:33,
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meh....
I saw the trailer the other day and it shifts the focus from the poor woman he wants to marry, to the rich bitch he doesn't want to marry.
It's semingly a pointless change, merely to change SOMETHING, or it's just so the trailer can focus on Ms Garner lots.
But Luis Guzman plays the chauffer which is a good thing
(
Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:44,
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I feel a bit sorry
for kids today. When I was young, my parents didn't understand my music, films, TV shows and fashion. And that was how it should be; they were 'ours' and gave us an identity. But now everything is just a remake. I hear a song on the radio and even if the whole thing isn't just a copy, I will probably know the bass line or melody from way back when. Fashion keeps going full circle; daughters borrow thier mums old clothes; where is the identity and rebellion in that?
(
TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:13,
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Considering that it has Russel Brand
I'm not entirely sure it's main audience is the youth. However, I understand what you are saying about all the remakes. The problem is the good ol' US is full of old people.
www.santamariatimes.com/news/opinion/editorial/article_cf79b640-38a0-11e0-9878-001cc4c03286.html
About 25% old people. You know the stereotype old people like old crap? It's a big market with lots of $ so companies will pimp the shit out of it.
I apologize if that sounded agist. I'm not. Some of my friends are baby boomers.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:28, Share, Reply)
Acting like Kenneth Williams with a half Cockney accent seems to get you alot of work these days
(That and looking like you're having a bad hair day and you need a shower)
(
Darklord, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 17:43,
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and having a history with drugs
(
Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:43,
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they can fuck right off
cant beat this classic. remakes to me oftern seem like they are shoving their hairy arses in the air and the orginal and waving them about abit.
i cannot stand Russel Brand and death would be a kindness.
acid baths on the other hand..
(
Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:33,
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Don' You Go Rounin' Roun to Re Ro
GC say OK so hey.
(
smaggers Like a gibbon on helium, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:28,
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Best of the day!
Tuesday's internet will have to try very hard to beat this one.
(
Captain Howdy, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:40,
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would have been
much better without the laughter
(
Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:28,
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I Say.......Good Show Sir! I Tip My Hat to You!
Auto-translate to English
HUWUYTAN MRFKBKT HNNNNN! DAHHN
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:34, Share, Reply)
A right royal cockney knees up
(
ERG1008 is climbing in yo windows & snatchin yo people up, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:17,
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Ninja Recycling
Local Ninja doing his bit for the environment gives the neighbours something to talk about.
(
follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:26,
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Really?
I saw her at LED. She's slutty. She'd probably bite your dick off....
(
redazril I LIKE DRUGS!, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:49,
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I want to fantasise about NICE girls
*Don't want to
What's the point?
Plus she's hot (when you see past the weird mullet)
(
Hellzapoppin, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:42,
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That's all very well,
but I don't think that Samurai armour was made from plastic bottles.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:37,
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Err..
/Enter The Dragon
Bottles of water don't hit back....
\Enter the Dragon
But, to be fair, if I was ever faced with hordes of water bottles, all baying for my blood, I'd want him on my side...
Cheers
(
Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:42,
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His sword will rust.
(
TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:32,
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Wigan Gangsta
My mate wrote this song a while ago, and he's made a video to go with it. I think its about fitting for here
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:14, Share, Reply)
Getting really bored of unfunny rap parodies.
But that one did make chuckle :o)
(
sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:28,
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That
deserves a click.
Cheers
(
Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:28,
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A.B.C. Warriors
The metal men from 2000AD get animated.
Rather short, so here's a teaser trailer for a fan-made tale from Mega City One:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2JhQXCjTLY
(
Captain Howdy, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:55,
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ooooh nice
didn't really understand any of it when I was eight of so, but loved em later and love em still.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:58, Share, Reply)
Too short to make any sense of it.
The laser weapons at the start of the clip make that gayest noise ever.
(
Smallbrainfield, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:08,
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wasn't he the dead guy in the Incredibles
Gayser Breem or something. Some kind of fish with lipstick
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:10, Share, Reply)
Ooo what's this then?
Is someone going to make this?
Hope they make a decent job of it.
(
barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:12,
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I think it was one of Rebellion's attempts to get their characters off of the page, and onto people's screens.
Not sure if it was ever meant to herald an actual series, but that would have been my guess.
(
Captain Howdy, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:23,
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I made an album!
I made this!
I made an album all by my little self. It's a far cry from the silly videos I've posted in the past - I took this project semi-seriously. It's instrumental and full of distorted synths; don't let that put you off listening. I'd love to hear what people think about it (including criticism). If you really like it you can download it for £0.00 (or more, if you wish).
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:44, Share, Reply)
it's lonely women do behind closed doors in Blackpool
*what
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:51, Share, Reply)
*picks up monocle*
*removes lens*
*uses frame as a cockring*
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:53, Share, Reply)
*laughs out loud*
*masturbates furiously*
(
tickle I was away, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:25,
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What is going on here exactly?
*licks lips*
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 19:32,
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It's instrumental fuck rock with words.
(
An Eagle in Your Mind, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 12:51,
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I believe this would be a "fuck rock" www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/27/ancient_phallus/
Seriously though? I just made that up for want of a real description.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 13:36, Share, Reply)
A few people have said that they liked that track actually, it's nice to hear it from someone I don't know. Thanks for the feedback.
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 14:57, Share, Reply)
I like this!
So I clicked.
I'm listening to "I was Worried, O So Worried" and I really like the way it builds up. I would even have liked it if it had a few more layers and took longer to build up, so that by the end it was completely different to the beginning, if you know what I mean. I like that minimalist thing.
Have you listened to any Jon Hopkins? His song "Light Through The Veins" does that... looooong build up of layers. Some of your songs remind me of him, "Insides" sounds like your album in particular.
listen.grooveshark.com/#/search?q=Jon%20Hopkins
Some of the sounds you use seem a bit default midi - the trumpet sound. But that's possibly purposeful to give it a home-made feel? Or am I just being a git?
Anyway - I'm very jealous because I'd like to make an album but I don't for some reason... prolly 'cos I'm not good enuffff!
(
emergency_pants Today I smell of... tea tree, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 16:53,
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Nice, I really enjoyed Jon Hopkins - especially 'Light Through The Veins'. Maybe one day I'll extend a song out over ten minutes, once you get going it's possible to pretty much go on endlessly.
The sounds that seem default midi seem that way because they are - most of the album is actually midi, but shhh don't tell anyone! It was more out of necessity than choice, but lo-fi/home-made/etc. is all the rage anyway.
Just do it, it's the only way to find out if you're good enough. /motivationalspeech
(, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:06, Share, Reply)
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