Self sabotage
I just had the chance to go work on a cruise ship for six months, leaving my mediocre, badly paid life here in Ireland. I had a tiny worry that my student debt in the uk might catch up with me, but other than that, I had no good reason. I don't know why I did this, I want to leave, but I deliberately didn't check the deadline properly, and left it to fate. I was too late. Anyone else find themselves doing this?

Alt q: if you won the euro millions, whats the very very first thing you'd do?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 23:52, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Best record ever
Fuck, Unfinished Sympathy just came on my media player. Twenty years on and it's just as potent as ever. It doesn't sound at all its age and is a superb, soulful slice of hip hop.

Serious contenders for finest record ever please. First person to mention Pendulum has to become SpankyHanky's proofreader as punishment.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 23:19, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone else had their night in the pub cancelled?
I'm bored.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 19:40, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who gives a fuck?
Anyone else at the end of their tether?

Alternatively, who would you most like to see gored by a bull?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:30, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Every cloud
My train to Newcastle is beyond packed. I've never experienced anything like it and am sitting cross legged in the aisle bit. I wanted to twat someone in the head but now there are five fit blondes sitting crossed legged around me also. One is reading Harry Potter I think so she could be about thirteen but I'll put that to the back of my mind. At least I have them to talk to (and stare at their tits) now. One of them is called Susie and she is very pleasant (and has big tits), I'm rather enjoying this.

Any silver linings from shit situations for anyone recently?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 15:23, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good News Everybody


Now you have the SAFETY DANCE Stuck in your head.
( WormuIus, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 14:21, 150 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Current obsession.
I am currently obsessed with 70s r'n'b maestros Dr Feelgood.

What is your current 'thing'...or do you not in fact have one? Are you a sensible grown-up who no longer has keenly-felt but ultimately short-lived fads?

NB Anyone attempting to make a 'currant' pun (hahahahahaha - that sounds like CURRANT BUN!!!!111!) will be visited this evening by a gangland enforcer and tortured by being locked in a cupboard with Foxtrot, Pires, a bottle of poppers and some gritty lube.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 13:12, 220 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well
I only have a few minutes to be here during my lunch, and I can't go through 150 comments, so sorry beck, but I just want to say hello and see how you're doing.

And well, one question, one of my cousins has been going out with a guy for 3 months now, and they haven't had sex because he can't get hard. He's always got excuses, like I'm tired and that, but she thinks he is a virgin (25 years old). What would you recommend her to do?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:04, 100 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Darth is shit, therefore his thread is capable of sucking and blowing at the same time
What are you up to at the weekend my lovely little shitmonsters?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:45, 167 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I deadlifted a 13-year-old female Ballroom Dancing World Champion above my head last night. Who here can say the same?
Knackered today. This is BBC1's fault for showing the awesome Galaxy Quest when I was thinking of going to bed. What films have you seen lately that you'd previously forgotten were completely brilliant?

Alt Q - am off to Bristol for the first time tonight, and on to Bath tomorrow. Anyone got any tips as to what I should see while I'm there?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:54, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

let's talk about sex, baby
Well sort of. More specifically magic numbers. How many partners is too few/too many - not for yourself, naturally, but what would you find offputting in a prospective partner?

I am pretty relaxed but I think anything over 50 and under 2 would make me lift my eyebrows a bit...

Alt Q: how long constitutes a drought? Remember to specify whether you are talking weeks or months (or days or years I guess)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:08, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a moral dilemma
When I was with my old firm I started a law degree, which they paid for. I jacked it in after 2 years and eventually left the firm. They did make me sign something at the time I started the degree to say that I would pay it back if I left the firm within 2 years, but when I did leave they never asked me for anything.

Last night I got a letter from the uni saying that there is £400 still left on my account and asking if I want it back.

Would you be honest and tell them it belongs to the firm, or would you take it and hope no one ever finds out? If I took option b, I'm running the risk that if the firm do find out, they'll then remember that they paid for it and make me pay the whole lot back for being cheeky. So what would you do b3tans?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 8:33, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How weird.
I was out with some coworkers tonight, and some chick comes over to our table saying she had a relationship with one of the guys for 15 years.
We all know he's been happily married for 12 years, and he's not the kind of guy that would dream of cheating on his wife, so it wasn't a surprise when he denied everything and asked who in the hell she was.

Turns out he had slept with her many years ago before he even met his wife, and she's been harboring feelings for him ever since. Nuts - she was almost hysterical and the restaurant had to call the local police department to take her away.

What bizarre things have happened to you lately?
(nolongernuts, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 4:09, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wonder if he lurks
Since most of these sound AWFULLY familiar:

Big Leo's Trolling Tips

How have you wound someone up today?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 19:28, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Umm yeah cheers Al. I've just seen an advert for a mouth wash called Retar-dex
what inappropriate product names have you come across?

Alt Q: What are you having for dinner?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 19:03, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yeah yeah, Fucking links and shit. Also, fuck off Bobbypires, your thread is shit.
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/5329425/Row-erupts-over-village-changing-road-name-to-sound-more-middle-class.html

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5912811/Kent-village-embroiled-in-row-over-road-name.html

So this story in the paper amused me so I've found these Telegraph articles. This Geoff Cornes blokes sounds like a right cunt, I'm glad he doesn't live near me.

Have you ever had to fight THE MAN about something many would consider slightly pointless?

EDIT - Sorry Abberacion, didn't mean to upstage your thread.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:37, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My brother is coming to England in October
I'll be with him most of the time, but the last 3 days he'll be in London while I stay working in Manchester.

Which non-turistic London places would you recommend him to visit? In which area do you think it's best to stay: central and expensive or no so central and cheaper?

And for the Northeners, he'll spend a few days with me in Manchester. He's been in Chester, York and Liverpool. Anywhere else you think he should visit?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:36, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New Thread - last one got long
I hate this question so I'm asking it. Where do you see yourself in the 5 years?

Alt Q? who would win in a fight - Keith Chegwin V Bobby Davro. No holds barred.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 15:35, 121 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What is the best way to stop smoking?
I currently smoke 30 a day & have smoked for more than 20 years.

Alt Q: What do you want to give up?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:58, 262 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My mrs emailed Hayseed Dixie to ask how much to play at our wedding
Can't afford £10k unfortunately.

Who do you think we should get to play?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:36, 121 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just been reading the local paper.
Apparently, the local council may have to get rid of their speed cameras, they're running out of money to operate them. Why,is a mystery, with minimum fines at £60.
Anyway I think it's a good thing. A local councillor has called them mugging means, which I think sums it up.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:26, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I haven't got my phone yet!
also:
It's A LEVEL RESULTS DAY
sexyalevels.tumblr.com/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:43, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh man the boots I want on ebay
are almost at my budget already and there are still three hours left.

Oh sorry I thought the theme of the day was "post new threads about stuff that is relevant to you but probably no one else gives a shit about"

But you should all care about my boots
NO QUESTION FOR YOU!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:40, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, that thread has just had me thinking about films
So I'll go back to something I'm sure must have popped up at some point.

What films do you like that not many others have heard of?

For me, you've got Boondock Saints 1 and 2, along with Versus.

All 3 are violent and silly in equal measures.

Also, "Låt den rätte komma in" is absolutely brilliant.

How about you lot?

Alt Q: What's the worst film you've ever paid to see? Mine was War Of The Worlds, pile of unmitigated shite.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:48, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Being a hypocrite
Couple of nights ago I wouldn't let my two smaller brothers watch Silent Hill on the grounds that it would give them nightmares and was out of their age group. Only to be reminded by other brother that I had been renting and watching my own films since I was eleven and thus was being a hypocrite. How have you been one recently?

Alt Q: everyone loves Top Gun. What would your callsign be?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:47, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just logged a fault with BT
Their machine message delivered an alert which basically said "in an effort to improve customer service, we're going to start randomly disconnecting people who are calling us to log faults in an attempt to force you to use our website, thus saving us money". Knowing this company as I do, I can't say I'm entirely surprised.

What's the worst piece of customer service you've ever encountered?
( Kroney, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:46, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

By now Gonz should have asked this cafe goddess out or be on his way too
plus it being A level results day here's the question. When we're you last really nervous or anxious and why?

Alt Q: Monty is dead old shall we chip in for one of those baths that open at the side?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 9:52, 201 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just in case any other B3tans are in a similar situation...
Good luck to anyone receiving AS Level/A-Level results tomorrow! Well looking at the clock confirms that actually tomorrow's quickly turned into today. *gulp* If I listen to the new Klaxons single loud enough I might cause partial deafness that gets me out of tomorrow for at least a few days...maybe. :(
(I Am Plague @Mistication92, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 2:55, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

They say that being a parent is incredibly difficult, especially if you're doing it right.
I know the first half of that to be true. I'm just hoping that they're right about the second part.
( Wanderer, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:20, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)