Guess who's not at work today. Go on have a guess.
Clue: They are female and have nice boobies.
( girlinthehole, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 8:41, 245 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A new thread
Against my better judgement, it has to be said.

There's the thing that says "Who do you write like?" it spits out random answers.

Who would you LIKE to write like? S J Perelman for me. Wrote all of the Marx Brothers scripts.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:31, 129 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening all
Please tell me below about your memories of orange wagon wheels. Everyone remembers them. Everyone except bender and americans

alt: is there a ruder sounding fruit than kumquat?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:54, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New QOTW vote-me-up
It is HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Long thread was too long
So tell me all your problems. Pull up a chair, or a small child, sit down and tell me all about it. There, there.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 15:19, 205 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I make that lunch.
Alt: What basic life skills have you yet to master? Are you able to drive and swim for example.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 12:59, 235 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread
So, as I mentioned I have a copper in my living room, bnut what odd guests have you had turn up on your doorstep?

Alt: Pigeons or something
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 11:36, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Emo thread is emo
Strikes - an appropriate form of action or a fucking waste of time and general inconvenience?

Alt: none - it's on strike.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 9:43, 235 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This week can fuck right off.
Some cunt in the pub last night was threatening me, so I ended up leaving, as it was either that or there'd be a kick off, and that's not something I want to do. I got home, prepared 2 large cottage pies, then fell asleep while they were in the oven, so they're completely ruined. Alright, so the second one was my fault, but I'm still pissed off about it!

ARGH!

So, what's made you angry this week?

Alt: What's cheered you up this week?

Sorry Duke, but I don't want to talk about banks this morning
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 8:38, 109 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Barclays Bank (not rhyming slang)
Just like asking, y'know- moved some money into my account to pay off bills, etc, take the Duchess out as it was our wedding anniversary, etc. Plenty of stuff paid, but they decided it would set off their "Fraud detection", so popped into bank yesterday afternoon, to make sure all was ok. "Customer Service" lady on front desk says "YES, everything is fine, I've removed it from your account".
So off we toddle to eat at one of Southamptons finer eateries, and I proffer my card, and its rejected. Turns out the fraud detection had not been turned off, as the customer service rep on the phone said it was quite clearly flagged up. So pissed off Duchess, as she ended up paying, and total lack of sexyTiem later.
So I now have blue ball syndrome, and an earful of nag.
So- how many barrels should I give Barclays this morning, and can I call someone a "Fuckwit" in a bank? And what should I ask for in recompense?
Alt Quender: Any other good insults I can call her, via her manager?
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 7:24, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck your honda civic, I'm going swimming after work.
My roommates being a dick, I asked if she was mad at me and she said "I haven't seen you, you get home, take Echo and you leave but I'm not mad about anything"
Just to prove her point, I'm going to go home, take echo and leave.

What points are you proving lately?

and an alt for you quenders: tell me about your swimsuit.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 20:58, 66 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A massive apology to Monty Boyce and DG
I know we're all hunky dory now, but I was bang out of order in attacking you so viciously on a public forum. You're both brilliant blokes xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:26, 61 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

has the Foxtrot scale of qunderosity been internationally accepted then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:21, 10 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Olives are good for you, right?
I've become addicted to the bastards.

what food can't you stop eating once you've had a bit?

alt: talk about evening things
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:20, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bosses
How are the bosses at your workplace?
Any of them make your life a living hell??

I ask this because mine seems to think I am his personal manservant and has the manners of a monkey and character of a spoilt rich kid.

Alt.
Best song you've heard in the last 12 months.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 16:29, 113 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck Me
That one's dead as well. I just had some posh crisps, should I buy some Minstrels?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:22, 108 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Wow, that's died on it's arse
Question for you people, should I spend money upgrading the stereo in my little transit connect to one that will let me plug in my MP3 player directly, or should I see if I can get it done through the company by suggesting we have bluetooth installed to allow me to take phone calls while driving?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:20, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

INDEFENSIBLY SHIT.
I like the execrable guitar film 'Crossroads'. I really do like it a lot. It is fucking appalling. The fucking Karate Kid becomes a 'bluesman' and defeats the Devil's representative in a guitar showdown. The whole thing is more bent than a Darth/Marc Almond 'dancercise' DVD but for some reason I don't care.

Open up your cupboard of shame and tell us all about the secret shit things you enjoy. Kroney, NO - not that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 13:25, 137 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bet even a lunch thread looks good now eh?
I had moroccan chicken soup. and cake. not together.

what have you got?

Last day of my secondment today which is great, but we have a new lodger moving in tonight which is less so.

alt: something about taking good with bad...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:34, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Cats vs. Dogs
Go!
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:28, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is long
In honour of Vipros' recent stag weekend, tell us tales of your best or worst lads' or girls' trips away. Extra points for stories that end up in either a cell or a hospital bed.

Alt: What's the best breakfast cereal? I've recently developed a fetish for granola, but have been assured this is 'boring'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 10:28, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Woo hooooooo!!!!! It's only fuckin' WEDNESDAY!!!!
Oh yeah!!!!!! *does Frank Drebin baseball field celebration dance*



Not really. What a heap of old cock. Which is the best, and which is the worst day of the week for you? I really fucking hate Sunday nights - even more than Mondays, myself. Every ticking second draws you nearer to the start of another shitty working week. At least on Mondays you're busy actually dealing with it...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 8:15, 182 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

transporter 3
what a load of wank.



that is all. i'm drinking wine. what about you?
( zulu eh?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 22:12, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Last night away from home on secondment tonight
and the family I stay with have bought me presents. Isn't that nice?

when did you last sup of the milk of human kindness?

alt: what are you up to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 21:34, 27 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Huh? What? Wait! Where am I?
Oh.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 19:50, 58 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm just going to lay it out there, out in the open, just so you all know, I miss B3th's friendly words today, oh gee oh gosh, she's so swell.
I got a new album just now, something called "Bad meets evil", I think it's got a lot of eminem in. I never like albums when I first hear them but then I start to enjoy them after forcing myself. A bit like a poo in that respect.

I'm quite excited by this: online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304520804576347810004917234.html , in fact, more than a little excited.

No question, just talk.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 17:07, 133 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

End of the working day thread...
Anyone have exciting evening plans?
I shall be learning about pain relief in labour.

ALT:best present you've ever bought someone?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 17:00, 46 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread time.
OT Variety night.

Select one music act, one comedy act and one variety act to appear on the bill.

Living or dead. I don't care.

Alt: The last individual item you bought that cost at least twenty quid.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 15:20, 141 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Will this thread vanish? You decide.
If you had a big spunk load of cash what would your first purchase be? Limit up to a £1000 to make it interesting.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 14:05, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have just wandered into town to get away from work for a bit
Apart from the obvious lunch question, what does anyone do? Wanking is obligatory, as is "your mum"

Purchased a load of stuff to make some decent museli too.

Alt:
What do you make instead of buying?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 12:50, 128 replies, latest was 15 years ago)