let's talk about sexy things
Favorite song to "do it" to?
Favorite sexy underthings?

Alt: which b3tan would you do?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 18:01, 78 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

How well do you know your fellow off topicers?
Simple if gay Idea, put whatever you know about the person you are replying to in your post.

Alt: Person you've not met yet IRL but would like to.

I'll go with Swipey as she was the last person I replied to in t'other thread. She's a high flying property Lawyer with a Merc, she has an uber-hot boyfriend who she is starting to find dull, she is also a Tory but somehow manages to be a nice person none-the-less.

Alt:Darth, he seems a rather nice chap, but it seems this may never happen, see also: Noel.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:26, 235 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

OH GEE OH GOSH OH MY
My Ma' is about to view my DREAM FLAT, sounds perfect for me, it's the first one that has ticked all the boxes (the 'resonable boxes', not the 'swimming pool' style boxes).

It's decoration is all nice plain nutrale creams and all that, and it has :-
- Small living room, not to bad, I can be happy. It's got enough room for a dinning table for entertaining though. Double glazed, looks over the comunal gardens.
- A good sized single bedroom which I can eaither rent out or turn into an office... not sure what yet. It has an areal point in it though.
- A double master bedroom, with dimmer-switch lights (HOW COOL IS THAT !??!?!) and areal point and telephone point and built in waldrobes with an ensuite hand bason, shower and shitter.
- A bathroom with bath and shitter and hand bason, tilled all over, with a dimmer for SEXY TIMES ([name], I'm looking at you here).
- A kitchen with built in fridge/freezer, gas hob, extraction fan, oven, stainless steal sink with disposer (HOW COOL IS THAT?), slimline dishwasher and washing machine.
- Lovely grounds and not a stupidly-big mantainance charge.
- 2 minuties from Barnet high street, and 5 minutes from High Barnet Station... so lots of resturants and transport, and 10 minuite walk to the picture house.

It's right on the top end of my budget, really really high up, but if they come down a tiny bit, I can do it, and still get all kinds of new furniture and stuff for it.

Ma' is going to look at it tonight, and I'll look at it on saturday. And they say that if Southgate is the Beverly Hills of North London, then High Barnet is the Manhattern.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 14:03, 76 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Popular page is empty
lets fill it up.

Joke thread, if this is your first joke thread, you have to joke.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 13:19, 137 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New QOTW vote
This week's travesty of democracy is HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:59, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

twisted logic
i just bought myself a second pair of ass-toning trainers, because i loved the first pair but they are now a year old and quite worn. the second shiny new pair has just arrived. and what do skechers see fit to include as a free gift with their toning trainers?

HARIBO. a packet of motherfucking SWEETS.

what crazy flawed logic have you seen recently?

alt: lunch today - fire roasted pepper, goats cheese and pesto soup from EAT. what about you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:28, 330 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Your Mum
or indeed your Dad. Tell me about your parents. Are they a bit "menkle"? Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief?

Alt:
Colleagues. Are they good or bad?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:53, 173 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Cunts.
Cunts in the treetops,
Cunts in a drawer,
Cunts rolling around an empty fucking jam jar,
I care not one jot for this.

Alt: What the cunt?
Alt Alt: Why the cunt?
Alt^Alt: Cunts?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 7:29, 85 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

i've been away, learning how to make a decent brulee etc
but now i'm back and i'm gonna, i dunno, oh whatever hi
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 3:11, Reply)

STOP PRESS!
And stop all the clocks, and your crying, and hammer time, and especially if you've heard this one before but...

I am wearing my new brogues. One of them is pinching a wee bit.

NOW GET BACK TO IT, YOU BENDIFEROUS QUENDERS!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 22:39, 8 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That last thread is getting long
Just saying like.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:46, 152 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Evening thread of dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom.
I have blisters : (

Tell me of your woes.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:30, 237 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's the late edition of OT's workday
tell me what you achieved today, you sweaty interweirdos.

Alt: Wednesday night plans? midweek drinking numbs the pain.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 17:08, 195 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well if we can have 2 shit threads running, why not 3?
I was thinking of organising a trip to the tower of London in late November/early December, mostly for London B3tans, who will likely not have been. Anyone other than Hovis up for it?

Alt: Other London touristy attractions that might be worth doing at the same time?

Edit: 2 1 3 2
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 15:00, 136 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

NEWS LINK!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-14988762

As far as I am concerned this guy is a fucking hero. ten years ago I was threatened on a London bus and because I refused to hand over my cash I got the shit kicked out of me and now have areas on my face where the hair won't grow so if I grow a beard it looks dumb. The bus was full of people and no-one did a thing, no-one even called the police. Which I did myself when I came round, covered in blood, on the deck below were I had started after being hurled down the stairs. By this point they were long gone and people had just watched them get off the bus and run off.

Do you think he is a hero? Would you have done or said anything? Opinions?
( Peej, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 14:50, 50 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Long thread is unwieldy.
Let's have a philosophical discussion.

Why do people still sell postcards, when everyone has a digital camera or a camera phone?

Alt: What puzzles you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 12:38, 251 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So Psychochomp's Dad is a re-born Christian creationist
tell me about your spastic relatives.

ALT: best biscuit (lolfatty)
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 10:24, 254 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I can't believe you benders aren't up by 7.
RUBBISH.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 7:26, 130 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I can't believe you benders are all in before before 11.
RUBBISH.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 22:29, 73 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm drinking a dusty bottle of wine
I found it in my cupboard when I was looking for a clean shirt for my interview today.
On my other screen I have a film in which the whole cast were hypnotised during filming apparently.

I feel like I'm being punched in the head.
( WormuIus, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 20:04, 288 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Christ that thread is massive.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 17:46, 128 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Fighting Thread
I put it to you /offtopic that you all love teh cock.

Insult fellow /offtopicers here. Show your working


Alt:
Give someone some praise, for fucks sake
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 15:04, 335 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Just had the best Worlds Worst Cab Driver
He got lost twice, took me around all the one-way bits of fleet-street and holburn. At one point he was really close to where I wanted to be, I said "Go straight" and he said "No, never, not in a million years is it that way", "Ok, you're the boss", but then he went some weird place. In total it took 25 minuites to do a 10-15 minuite journey.

I expect him to over-charge, that he's playing a game, take htem the wrong way 'round and they'll pay extra... so he says £11 (I normally pay £12), so I take out two five pound notes and before I can get the extra quid out I hear him rummerging through his change draw, where he hands me over £9 in coins.

I thought "That's a bit alright", I'll buy the big issue man a sandwich on the way home so Karma doesn't murer me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 15:04, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Anticlimaxes
This morning I went (at the request of Epilepsy Action) to a press conference to be interviewed by journalists about a new campaign the charity are promoting. Not a single journalist turned up.

Having spent time preparing, rehearsing answers the charity wanted me to give etc. I felt slightly disappointed. When did you last experience an anticlimax and what was it?

EDIT: I have now been asked to go on BBC London radio later today.

ALT: What is the collective for a group of Epi's? A shake of Epileptics?

ALT ALT - I don't know - something about gypsies or something else. I don't know what.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 13:59, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Film Thread
So, what's your favourite film(s) and why?

Alt: Favourite film quote/scene

AltAlt: why is quoting films either cool or 'bent'

AltAltAlt: Worst film ever made and why.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Sep 2011, 12:05, 235 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I was wondering, who is the cox of the So-solid crew?

( WormuIus, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 11:01, 15 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I tried to transfer the balance of my cedit card last week, but was rejected annoyingly
What have you been rejected for?

ALT: Owls, sweet fluffy and wise woodland creatures or silent assasins of the night?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 10:49, 102 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning.
But is it? Is it really?

Why? What would make it better? NB anyone mentioning 'cake' will have a visit from the Gestapo.


Alt: I put it to you than 'zombies' are bent, and an affected obsession with said 'zombies' is even more bent than the zombies themselves. Convince me otherwise, or warmly congratulate me on my correctness. God I'm bored.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 8:47, 229 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I think we should all club together and help
Captain 'artbitch' Cavy get a man.

I vote we set her up with Chompy at Pizza Express in MK, followed by a trip to the Odeon to see 'Friends with benefits'

Suggestions?
( WormuIus, Mon 19 Sep 2011, 18:49, 221 replies, latest was 14 years ago)