RIP AMBERL
Quixote killed her and is now using her phone to send texts to her mum.
I bet he went to Asda with her body in the boot as well. I always had him down for a proper Tabak.

Why did he do it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 19 Nov 2011, 9:54, 13 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Amberl's not dead.
She's been sick but is now on the mend and hopes to be back on here soon. I don't know any more than this and I won't be back on today most likely but as I know some of you,like me, were worried I thought I'd pass this on.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 19 Nov 2011, 9:24, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Plot holes.
So I watched Signs last night. OKish film but there's one huge plot hole that I can't get my head around. These aliens are intelligent enough to build ships capable of interstellar travel, they're intelligent enough to find our planet and determine that it's packed to the gunwhales with lovely, juicy manflesh and they're intelligent enough to hunt Man on his own turf.

And yet they're not intelligent enough to realise that the planet they're travelling to is two thirds covered with a substance that causes them to receive horrific burns. Not only that, but they're too daft to notice that this substance falls out of the fucking sky at regular intervals. To cap it all off, they decide to walk around on the surface of this death world NAKED. You'd think they'd at least put on a Sou'wester, or carry a fucking umbrella or something.

Somebody in this scenario is a dick. The aliens, M Night Shamylanynamylanylan for making it, or me for watching it.

What gaping plot wounds have you noticed that don't make any sense?

Alt: I don't fucking know. Why is life awesome, or something. Cheer me up.
( Kroney, Sat 19 Nov 2011, 8:52, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So, Susannah Reid, Sian Williams or Fiona Bruce?
Answer VERY carefully.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 20:41, 175 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's FRIDAY! That means it's the weekend! Man, I'd be excited if, y'know, it was exciting.
What are you, the humble offtopicers without a social life, going to do with your evening? I've already eaten pork scratchings, pissed about on the internet and shouted at my mum. The night is young!
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:06, 264 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What is the worst thing about being British?
What do we do well and badly as a nation?

Alt: Do any of you use Linkedin?

Alt Alt: Favourite word to describe a vagina?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 14:54, 274 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Wormulus broke /OT, it seems.
So let's SHOW HIM, yeah, by going on about LUNCH and WEEKEND PLANS and LARPing and shit.

WHO'S WITH ME????!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 13:16, 265 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Nerds Gather Round
Fatties at the back, website people front and centre, make yourself known , I have a website building issue and I'm on the clock here so no dicking around.

The rest of you can talk amongst yourselves, but unless I throw you a bone you'll talk about biscuits, so alt q is:

'most unfair thing you've ever heard of'
( WormuIus, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:36, 144 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Today is Children In Need Day
What are Children in Need of?

Alt:
What shit "charidee" things are you/your office/friends/family doing or have done in the past?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:01, 96 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

SHUT UP
so amberl commited suicde cos rachelswipe is shit, who and why and how would you commit suicide?

Big Girls Blouse no need to answer cos we already know
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:32, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Me and my big...
...mouth.

I was awakened at half two this morning by a screaming daughter convinced of creepy crawlies in her bed. Wouldn't get back into bed for love nor money* and allowing her to get in with me is STRICTLY VERBOTEN so I had to sit up for an hour until she dropped off again in the sitting room. All because (I think) the last thing I said to her related to bed bugs, biting and not allowing the former to do the latter.

When was the last time your STUPID FUCKING GOB got you into trouble? What happened?

Alt: Good day. Good day? I have to train a monosyllabic teenager. Wonderful. Still, maybe he can get me some 'M-kat' or 'Ivory Wave'. I must remember to ask.

*clearly in my case just a turn of phrase, unless perhaps she'd have accepted an IOU...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 8:19, 208 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

any of you quenders still about?
I have about a quarter of a bottle of champagne to get through before bed. Anyone up for pootube disco?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 23:04, 42 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Today I visited an office building in Leeds and it was the single most Bateman building I have ever been to.
Luxury flats in there, concierge service and 32 storeys. It is visible from 25 miles away. Twenty of the 32 storeys are Swipe-esque luxury apartments and the offices are occupied by high class businesses.

Public Enemy first burst on to the international music scene in 1987 with their debut record Yo! Bum Rush The Show!, a recorded work which quickly established them in the premier league of hip hop artists, alongside Run DMC, Kurtis Blow and Tone Loc. What sets Public Enemy apart from these contemporaries though, is the range, dynamism and artistry on show from the very first rhyme.

The production skills of The Bomb Squad give an innovative, avant garde backdrop to the surprisingly workmanlike and prosaic rapping of main spokesman Chuck D and his court jester, Flava Flav. Tracks such as You're Gonna Get Yours! and Timebomb really showcase the combined talent of the Public Enemies, but Public Enemy Number One has a jarring synth line which gets right instead your head and gave me a really fucking bad headache that lasted for three days, in spite of the Xanax I was pretty much living on for that month.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 20:56, 192 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm not back from work yet.
Tell me about how much you spend on your rent. Or how much you paid for your car. Failing that, have you set a Christmas budget? Yes. I have just checked my balance.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 20:47, 10 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

GONZ
WHERE ARE YOU?
xx
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 18:33, 26 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

yo mutha fuckaaaahs
Im at work and it sucks and so im here to say hi. also, fuck you.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:21, 84 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Nominative determinism
Apparently there are a disproportionate amount of lawyers are called Lawrence and Dentists called Dennis. There was also a man, called Michael Jackson, arrested yesterday for bumming small boys.
As Carl Jung put it: Are these whimsicalities of chance or are they meaningful coincidences?
What's in a name eh? Are you like your name, off-topic?

Alt: Something about food, I dunno rice or chips?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:15, 242 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bored now
Happiest/Worst birthday stories please

Alt:
SCHMALT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 13:48, 210 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alright Chubsters?
Popular B3tan JMG hasn't had a look at QOTW in months.
Is it still shit? Have the levels of lies upped or is it depressing?

I come from better internet, in peace. Come to learn from the underclass so as to guard against similar loners on /talk.



Thank you for your replies.
No fatties.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 12:31, 103 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New question of the week vote is up
HERE

Thanking you
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:48, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So I appear to have no appetite whatsoever today
I've just realised that it's nearly time for a lunch thread and I haven't eaten, and nor do I seem to have any real interest in doing so. Explanations?

Alt: lunch, obv

AltAlt: Quentin's not doing the decent thing, he's not taken either of my suggestions ("fuck off" and "die", as you're asking), so we need to find practical uses for him. Short of developing a bullshit-fuelled electricity generator, what can you suggest, b3ta?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 11:41, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Space news!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15754786

So looks like we might not be the only place in the solar system with liquid water. Cool Eh?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:25, 200 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morrow, onanists.
Bad: I am weary and glum this day.
Bad: I shan't see my dear gf until Sunday lunchtime now
Good: Little'un tonight, so great joy at the end of my day
Good: Thursday means 'nearly there'

Two 'bads' and two 'goods' each, in an orderly fashion, please. Come along, chop chop.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:15, 267 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

alright OT
i hear you're all up for it, who fancies some
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 20:43, 186 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I do love that Devil_in_Tights poster, he's horribly handsome and he touched my knee on Saturday and my clitoris exploded.
I'm eating a bacon offcuts and salami sandwich and drinking cheap cider, it's fucking austerity rock and roll round these parts. What are you doing?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Wed 16 Nov 2011, 18:33, 154 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm going to be homeless from Saturday.
So, internet people, give me your top 10 tips to survive homelessness.

alt: There's no time for alt on the STREET. You're quick or you're dead.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 17:12, 59 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Buddy Holly was shite, as was Bill Haley, the sweaty old cunt.
Who/what else is also shite?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 15:50, 155 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Still no sign of Quentin
Too early to P-A-R-T-Y as yet, but it raises the question; has b3ta become too harsh an environment for new blood to thrive? Is Quentin right to flounce because we're all bastards to those unfamiliar with our ways (and spelling, and charisma)? Or is the "hazing" process of being ruthlessly mocked simply the b3tan version of natural selection - survive this and you can stay?

Or was he hounded out because he's a dickhead?

Alt: FILM. Best action movie ever. Sci-fi is allowed, because the correct answer is obviously Aliens.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 15:49, 138 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Russian women has alien in fridge.
www.thaindian.com/newsportal/odd-news/marta-yegorovnam-says-that-she-kept-an-alien-in-the-fridge-for-2-years_100577316.html

Who hopes it really is an alien and who thinks it's only a matter of time before we realise we are all alone in the cosmos?

And who thinks I should stop whinging and just get out more?
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 14:35, 196 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What's the nearest to death you have ever been?
Has the experience affected your outlook, do you think?

Alt: Name a more tedious bum-bandit than NakedApe poster. I bet you one of Quentin's kidneys that you cannot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 13:12, 200 replies, latest was 14 years ago)