morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:16, archived)

morning
free hugs today
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:25, archived)

I was hoping the 'rona had rid society of that annoying trait

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

Really awkward, uncomfortable ones which you worry about for a week afterwards

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:37, archived)

Waiting for the early knock of the police to ask some questions?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

What

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:41, archived)

to ask some questions watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:51, archived)

h t
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:53, archived)

I encountered a free hugs person in Brighton before I'd heard of free hugs. I assumed it was since kind of pickpocketing thing and avoided him.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 11 May 2021, 12:43, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:35, archived)

You're going to eat candles?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

erry day m8, erry day

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:51, archived)

Honest to god, I was looking at my post wondering who the fuck wrote that
autocomplete from "yo"

Thought I was turning all Fight Club...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:02, archived)

I did wonder what you were on about

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:06, archived)

No, 'andles for Keats

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:50, archived)

Morning garold.
What's happening, my "home boy", as the urbanly inclined tend to say?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 11 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

Gosh, this street-talk certainly is vibrant and exciting
I'm groovy, daddy-o
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:37, archived)

That's hella bodacious and funktastic, my swinging hep jivecat!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 11 May 2021, 10:31, archived)

Cultural appropriation, b&

(dribble, Tue 11 May 2021, 10:54, archived)

More like cultural inappopriation really
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 11:18, archived)

I was listening to the radio the other day
and this mixed race bloke described being told that he didn't look mixed race as "cultural theft."

On the one hand, it must be upsetting to be a thing and to be told by ignorant cunts that you're not a thing.

On the other hand, even if his ethnic identity is denied by cunts, he's still got his culture, nobody's stolen it.

I guess I just disagree with anyone who says their stuff has been stolen, if they actually still have all their stuff.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 11 May 2021, 13:53, archived)

How has anyone ‘got’ a culture? What does that mean?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:39, archived)

*lifts lid on tub of live yoghurt*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 16:57, archived)

I think a lot of the 'cultural appropriation' stuff is started by unflexible thinkers who want us all to fit neatly into our little boxes.
But to answer your question, your culture is the sum of the norms and values that you share with your community.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 11 May 2021, 17:41, archived)

word up g

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:48, archived)

Yo

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:49, archived)

It is that.
It is that.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 May 2021, 8:52, archived)

It's only just Tuesday
and already I've had enough
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:02, archived)

^

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:10, archived)

^^

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:21, archived)

^^^

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

POO and WEE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 11 May 2021, 9:07, archived)

Thanks, professor

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:08, archived)

morning
ain't no trouble in da hood
I'm fly as fuck cuz I'm da Wood
"get in" as they say and they should
this rhyme is fat and good
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

I think my comment about eating candles
made more sense. What fucking nonsense is this?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:21, archived)

nonce sensimilla, you mean

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:23, archived)

Morning, getting wasted on a Monday is a bad idea , in hindsight

( mongychops, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

If you were typing the same thing on Wednesday morning
I'd have more respect for you as a person
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 9:54, archived)

I thought you were the king of the 48-hour hangover

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:04, archived)

I pubbed it all day yesterday and seem to have got away with it

( broadsword, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:07, archived)

b
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:32, archived)

woo yay it's tuesday

( broadsword, Tue 11 May 2021, 10:20, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8301535
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 May 2021, 10:58, archived)

More lies

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 11 May 2021, 12:07, archived)

hullo flebber's, Queef Richard's here
I do hope you had a good weekend. Mine were great, and, because I did a roast Saturday instead of Sunday due to the weather forecast, I spent yesterday feeling like it was a bonus bank holiday.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:45, archived)

customers of the day: Susan Fallis and Polly Hester

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:46, archived)

Oh bondage, up yours
Wrong Polly though
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 17:21, archived)

exactly what came to my mind when her name popped up
ps 'RESTAURANT PEAS' - come on then, explain, the internet has failed me
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 17:39, archived)

Ages ago I saw a chef talking about ‘garnish’, in other words vegetables.
He asked, why do you think fancy restaurant peas are better than home-made? Do you think they’re better peas? No, they’re just regular peas, except they’re boiled in butter and sugar.

They do carrots the same way. Try it, it really does work.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

I always do grain mustard and maple glazed carrots with a roast
#restaurantcarrots
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 20:26, archived)

I just throw them in with the parsnips usually. A little salt and oil, let the oven sort it out.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 May 2021, 5:11, archived)

Oh please we ain't got no peas , because we spent all our money on some old cds

( mongychops, Mon 10 May 2021, 20:31, archived)

Worked all day Saturday and Sunday
Day off today, back in tomorrow and Wednesday
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:52, archived)

overall, pretty good
I took my rings out to the park again and there was blossom everywhere, real Disney-like poetic and shit

then I watched an indie Irish horror film and got drunk
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:21, archived)

I watched Sons of Sam on Netflix, a long watch (4h in total) but very interesting
more importantly I finally made rice & peas to a standard I am happy with, to go with some fucking lovely jerk pork kebabs. There's enough left for dinner too, a great start to National Vegetarian Week
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:29, archived)

nice, I like a bit of true crime
watching it on the telly obvs

not committing it
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:39, archived)

of course m8, of course

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:55, archived)

You could try watching it on a stolen telly and work your way up from there.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 18:59, archived)

I like your style

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 19:43, archived)

omg sonc

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:35, archived)

sonc the hdgehg?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:39, archived)

& TELS

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 12:58, archived)

SEEEE-GAAAAAA
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:01, archived)

Sorry zelda, your chaos diamond is in another castle

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:14, archived)

That’s glorious

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 18:21, archived)

Apparently saying that the fictional orcs in your fictional game are all bad is racist now, cancel tolkien and all fantasy media ever released

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:26, archived)

ORC LIVES MATTER

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:31, archived)

according to my kid 'people are trying to cancel Genghis Khan on Twitter'
I have to confess I'm not sure what this really means but it sounds fucking retarded
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:32, archived)

'cancel culture' is one of the biggest loads of bollocks of recent times
disagree with what someone's saying? Don't bother having an actual debate about it, where you could exchange views calmly and recognise that some people have differing opinions on things...just fire them/kick them off social media so you don't have to think about it any more
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:37, archived)

A lot of these media "personalities" I struggle to feel that sorry for.
Okay, you said something stupid and now a torch-wielding mob have pressured youtube to demonitise your channel and you can't live off ad revenue any more. Perhaps you'd like to now go out and get a real job, instead of just filming your daily "reaction" to inane shit.
(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:02, archived)

there is that aspect as well
and I'm sure they never learn from their mistakes, they just bleat about how they're being victimised by nasty people on the internet
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:05, archived)

When the twatting hell did anyone
exchange views calmly and recognise that some people have differing opinions on things?

Where the fuck have you been living? Teletubby land?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:05, archived)

well, this is my point
it might actually solve a problem or two, but no, everyone prefers a nice beakery shouting match
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:06, archived)

NO THEY DON'T YOU FUCKING IDIOT

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:07, archived)

You are such a tory fascist centrist dad corbynite

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 16:08, archived)

I am all of these things, and so much more

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 16:40, archived)

darling fascist bully boy
give me some more money, you bastard.
may the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 May 2021, 16:48, archived)

The Young Ones was fucking brilliant.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 May 2021, 17:17, archived)

Last time I saw Ben Elton he was making painfully labored quips about going to Tesco. This is how I discovered that Tesco is not suitable as a subject for quips.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 17:25, archived)

Ben Elton is a cunt
The end.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 17:42, archived)

It’s very short, tell it again

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 18:26, archived)

Digital brownshirtery.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 10 May 2021, 16:22, archived)

I suspect she might be "trolling" you, a gullible old person

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 13:55, archived)

Apparently not
heavy.com/news/2020/08/genghis-khan-canceled-twitter-trending/
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:08, archived)

Ok boomer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 17:28, archived)

Tsk, whatever next?
They'll probably cancel Hitler next, at this rate. :(
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

No it's alright he already did a video apologising to all jews
Advertisers haven't distanced themselves yet

Something about grammarly nazis
(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:28, archived)

I say apologising
but it was just him going on and on for ages about how much he's grown as a person since 1940, and how you shouldn't judge people forever for silly things they did when too young to know better
(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:52, archived)

Gaslighting

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:03, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:04, archived)

Don't forget der reich und subscribe!

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:13, archived)

lol

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:15, archived)

smash that k...like button

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:19, archived)

brb racist klaxon

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:21, archived)

Ghenghis KHANCELLED, more like
www.khaaan.com/
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

Compo it: two-panel recently-cancelled celebrity conquerer jokes.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 18:25, archived)

What's going on with orcs then? Is it new?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 10 May 2021, 16:38, archived)

Not really, they were bred from tortured and corrupted elves by Melkor during the Age of Stars.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 May 2021, 16:47, archived)

Duly noted, but why can't we say they're all bad now?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 10 May 2021, 17:15, archived)

Self-hating lefty elves on Twitter, I suppose.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 May 2021, 20:39, archived)

Nick Cleggolas.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 10 May 2021, 21:31, archived)

More like Gnome Chomsky.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 11 May 2021, 8:34, archived)

Excellent.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 11 May 2021, 9:37, archived)

I've bought a pencil
yeah, a fuckin' pencil. A 0.5mm graphic design thing because I always wanted one and now I'm sitting here going click clicketty click and drawing little faces on a piece of paper.

So that's great.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

huzzah!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

Not really very huzzah tbh
something very bad has happened at work. I can't say for sure what really went on but the family of a young person is utterly destroyed at the moment. Imagine the worst thing that could happen to a parent.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:26, archived)

I'm glad my job doesn't matter and I never encounter anything horrendous and/or upsetting.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 10 May 2021, 16:25, archived)

:((((

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 16:40, archived)

don't need to imagine

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 May 2021, 16:56, archived)

bought a pencil
yeah, a fuckin' pencil

graphic design thing penus
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:15, archived)

It's a fair cop

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 15:24, archived)

I did a jerk roast chicken. Fucking awesome it was too.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 May 2021, 20:31, archived)

Jerk5s


Hang on
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 21:27, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 10 May 2021, 7:39, archived)

alright, wankers

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 10 May 2021, 7:43, archived)

Hiya

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 7:45, archived)

alright, alright, wankers

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 10 May 2021, 8:03, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 8:17, archived)

'wankers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 May 2021, 8:24, archived)

Great morning thread

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 10 May 2021, 9:10, archived)

morning wank

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 May 2021, 9:20, archived)

Zipadeedoodah

( broadsword, Mon 10 May 2021, 10:14, archived)

Morning
First proper lie in for about 3 weeks
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 10 May 2021, 10:35, archived)

iz u lie in on the internet lol

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:07, archived)

No, I is watching a film

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:51, archived)

ello hay

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:22, archived)

And so the blatantly exclusionist ‘morning’ ritual continues :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 10 May 2021, 19:05, archived)

Not long till the pubs open!
Alright?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 9 May 2021, 19:16, archived)

I am alright.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 9 May 2021, 19:32, archived)

Can we drink indoors without wearing masks from tomorrow then?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 9 May 2021, 19:33, archived)

impossibru to drink with a mask on unless you like your pint with a straw

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 9 May 2021, 19:56, archived)

The old "wetherspoons waterboard"

(dribble, Sun 9 May 2021, 20:04, archived)

Drown it! Drown it!

(dribble, Sun 9 May 2021, 20:36, archived)

Then the lads head off for a cheeky guantanandos

(dribble, Sun 9 May 2021, 20:45, archived)

I liked all of this.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 9 May 2021, 22:59, archived)

Have clips with that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 May 2021, 23:40, archived)

No, 21st hth

( mongychops, Sun 9 May 2021, 20:34, archived)

17th, no?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

Still be masks required, 21st june we can all snog

( mongychops, Mon 10 May 2021, 11:15, archived)

I’m drinking indoors as I type thish

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 May 2021, 20:44, archived)

If you can't handle me at my Pedo Guy, you don't deserve me at my Mars Rocket.

(dribble, Mon 10 May 2021, 0:03, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/Ce57AXm
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 10 May 2021, 10:01, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 May 2021, 10:15, archived)

This isn't just any 'morning' thread.
This is a Marks and Spencer 'morning' thread.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 May 2021, 10:37, archived)

#teamcuthbert

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 9 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

Oy vey!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 9 May 2021, 11:12, archived)

I just went to a car boot sale.
the people of Kent truly deserve everything that's happening to them wrt Brexit and the pandemic. The fucking annoying stupid fucking cunts.

Top tip: The best way to get an elbow in the face is to stand less than 2m behind me and cough. The other best way to annoy me is to rush right in front of me and then come to a stop.

I must have called 10 people a cunt to their face before 10am. I think that's a PB.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 9 May 2021, 11:53, archived)

You are doing God's work.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 May 2021, 11:54, archived)

He's the fucker who started this plague, don't associate me with him tyvm.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 9 May 2021, 12:47, archived)

I thought it was an evil plan by the Chinese communist party to destroy the world economy using edible bats?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 9 May 2021, 14:16, archived)

Needs more Honda Accord

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 9 May 2021, 11:56, archived)

Ha!
Iunderstoodthatreference.gif
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

so a rip off of an Aldi morning thread?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 9 May 2021, 12:09, archived)

Aldi is just Lidl with an "a"

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 9 May 2021, 13:01, archived)

Mind blown

( mongychops, Sun 9 May 2021, 16:48, archived)

And one fewer 'L'.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 May 2021, 17:49, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 8 May 2021, 14:07, archived)

alright

(slimjim09 Trust me, I could've picked a worse username, Sat 8 May 2021, 16:07, archived)

So which banned regular are you?

(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 16:35, archived)

is spider stuj banned?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 8 May 2021, 17:18, archived)

I don't believe this is stuj

(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 17:22, archived)

No

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 18:01, archived)

I can't believe it's not stuj er

( broadsword, Sat 8 May 2021, 18:47, archived)

No

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 May 2021, 1:02, archived)

This would be a good quiz for the b3ta social medias

(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

Probably one of the dead ones

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 8 May 2021, 19:39, archived)

So how come this place isn't actually linked to from anywhere on the site?

( CowJam, Sat 8 May 2021, 19:39, archived)

Because we're the ugly ginger stepchild of the b3ta family.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 19:57, archived)

Shame

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 8 May 2021, 20:23, archived)

Spite

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 21:54, archived)

Shite

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 May 2021, 22:24, archived)

Sprite

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 22:57, archived)

Shiitake

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 8 May 2021, 22:57, archived)

Racism.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 8 May 2021, 23:15, archived)

The navbar got changed a few years back, but chat is still directly linked from the FAQ
You'd think that would have been removed, seeing how rob is ashamed of the awfulness in this part and doesn't want new people or commercial sponsors to see it
(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 23:52, archived)

He could also maybe remove the wee-wee tapir stuff while he's there
It's pretty embarrassing
(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 23:57, archived)

Haha you’re one of those squares who doesn’t like swears, mister kitten-flaps!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 9 May 2021, 1:03, archived)

Exclusivity
Have to keep the blacks and irish out.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 9 May 2021, 17:30, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 May 2021, 19:52, archived)

alright

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 8 May 2021, 20:22, archived)

Not really

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 8 May 2021, 21:14, archived)

g'day!
alt: why wasn't there a newsletter yesterday?
(slimjim09 Trust me, I could've picked a worse username, Sat 8 May 2021, 11:36, archived)

Not sure, mate.
You should send a PM to mongychops. He looks after that sort of thing.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 11:57, archived)

Who gives a fucking shit?
Have a word with yourself, mate
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 8 May 2021, 12:09, archived)

$oro$

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 May 2021, 12:43, archived)

It’s cancelled due to rampant unchecked racism

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 May 2021, 12:48, archived)

Queef’s account, I mean

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 May 2021, 12:49, archived)

I heard he was quietly "updating his profile" and decided to try out the golliwog donation icon for a laugh

(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 13:24, archived)

If he did a racism against Noel Clarke, it probably cancels out against the sex-pestery.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 8 May 2021, 19:41, archived)

There was, you must have let your b3ta gold subscription lapse.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 8 May 2021, 13:08, archived)

If you donate, rob gets some cash, and in return, you get to give rob some cash.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 14:59, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite mushroom? I'd have to say parasol.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 8:31, archived)

morning, I drank too much rum and just had a nasty poo
Alt: trompette de la mort
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

They're my "holy grail" species - never seen them in the wild.
I've picked every other tasty mushroom that grows in this country (truffles aside, obviously).
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

Trufflist

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 14:10, archived)

morning
no side effects at all from the jab yet, result

Alt: either lion's mane or indigo milk cap
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 8 May 2021, 8:45, archived)

which jab did you have?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 May 2021, 9:10, archived)

Pfizer gang reprazent

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 8 May 2021, 9:17, archived)

AZ 4 lyf m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 May 2021, 9:22, archived)

u madlad

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 8 May 2021, 9:25, archived)

Until you get your booster

( mongychops, Sat 8 May 2021, 10:10, archived)

Is the second dose bad

(dribble, Sat 8 May 2021, 10:31, archived)

It's the worst

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 14:23, archived)

Very classy choices there!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

thankee

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 8 May 2021, 9:59, archived)

Toad

( mongychops, Sat 8 May 2021, 10:00, archived)

Morning
Chestnut
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 8 May 2021, 10:23, archived)

Morning (for another three minutes, anyway).

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 11:58, archived)

Shiitake lol

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sat 8 May 2021, 11:02, archived)

Lol, shit ache.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 11:57, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 May 2021, 12:44, archived)

Ringhurt rofl

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 16:48, archived)

psilocybe cubensis

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 May 2021, 11:32, archived)

Aaaiigh!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 11:58, archived)

psilocybe semilanceata, smalla, stronga, fasta, betta.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 16:56, archived)

send some to me and I'll give them a try

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 8 May 2021, 17:29, archived)

I'm on the wrong continent, it's all cubensis here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 21:55, archived)

Maitake (hen of the woods), we get them in supermarkets here, never eaten it but it looks really interesting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

They're well yum.
I picked one once that weighed nearly 6 kg.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 May 2021, 15:48, archived)

FLESHY GUNTS

(sticklebricks, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:47, archived)

I'LL TELL YOU FLESHY GUNTS WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:49, archived)

HEY BABY, I HEAR THE BLUES A-CALLIN', TOSSED SALAD AND+

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:55, archived)

FLESHY GUNTS, WON'T YOU COME AND TAKE AWAY THE RAIN

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:58, archived)

You make the rockin' world go round!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 May 2021, 17:27, archived)

Take me home to the place I belong

(Martin Anus, Fri 7 May 2021, 17:30, archived)

dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun
FLESH! *brrrr* GU-UUUNTS!!

Flavour of the abbatoir!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 17:43, archived)

Fle-shy GUNTS, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo!
Fleshy gunts, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo!
Fleshy gunts, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo!
Fleshy gunts!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 May 2021, 17:52, archived)

I'm trying not to visualise the hand movements, and failing.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:22, archived)

here you go m8
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR0L9NIf2b0-E1WV2eTl7HPV6A_fmP-85Z_SR3VYlGDzPDsSyN0vEervKNR1cpm5za8l9g&usqp=CAU
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:31, archived)

It's Christmas tiiime in the city.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 7 May 2021, 17:54, archived)

Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

There's a message floating in the air FLESHY GUNTS riding everywhere

( broadsword, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

sell me sweet fleshy gunts, fleshy fleshy guunts, (fleshy gunts) fleshy fleshy gunts

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:10, archived)

Mistletoe and wunts
chil-dren
drop-ping
out
of high schunts
(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:13, archived)

OK everyone pack it up, time to go home now
We've reached peak gunt with this one
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:29, archived)

time to go home now
We've reached peak gunt with this one pack it in, let me begunt
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:35, archived)

proper tears-in-the-eyes lol here, outstanding

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:41, archived)

Fleshy gunts, makes me feel funt
Blowin’ through the jasmine in my munt
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 May 2021, 18:20, archived)

You get the keys to my heart, when you wear that sweet dress

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 19:05, archived)

Saviour 0f the universe

( mongychops, Fri 7 May 2021, 19:56, archived)

Didn't really read the thread, soz

( mongychops, Fri 7 May 2021, 19:57, archived)

FLESHY GUNTS, TO HOLD A LITTLE BABY, FLESHY GUNTS, TO BRUSH AWAY A TEAR

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 7 May 2021, 20:30, archived)

Fleshy gunts
Fleshy gunts again
Pulsing through my veins
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 8 May 2021, 7:01, archived)

burning out his fuse up here alone

( Richard Shitheels, Sat 8 May 2021, 22:34, archived)

YESSSSS, FRIDAYYYYYY!!!!!
*kneeslides like a little boy at a wedding in a shiny waistcoat, with gelled hair and a fake diamond ear stud*

Supposed to waz it tomorrow here, but warm and sunny on Sunday so controversial Saturday roast, then bbq jerk pork Sunday. Mrs is on rice & peas* duty as I am fucking rubbish at it.

Up to much?

*they're no 'restaurant peas' but then what it? Seriously, what is?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 11:17, archived)

what it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 11:29, archived)

bop it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 11:47, archived)

tomorrow here

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:12, archived)

Uh, what it
What it good
Uh, what it
WHAT IT REAL GOOD
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 11:34, archived)

some of the crispest cowbell on record, that tune

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 11:48, archived)

cool thread bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 11:54, archived)

Not doing anything this weekend,

( mongychops, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:00, archived)

just like the last 52 weekends,

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:48, archived)

is your local not open this weekend?
should be perfect pub garden weather Sunday
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:50, archived)

Yeah it's open, got 200 idiots booked for tomorrow apparently

( mongychops, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:59, archived)

christ

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 13:06, archived)

no fishing?
Are you into carp fishing?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:24, archived)

In work tomorrow and Sunday
Just been to town and got some choons
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:54, archived)

Someone gave me a cheap, bashed up old squier jazz bass last weekend
it sounds and plays better than my genuine Fender so the old one's going on eBay. It's got a few modifications on it I'll take off (just put a £40 set of strings on the fucker - they're not gonna be part of the sale).
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 12:56, archived)

I've bought my kid a Squier Telecaster for her birthday in July, it turned up yesterday
I gave it a quick go and it seems to plays as well as my genuine Fender too. She's going to be chuffed to bits
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 13:08, archived)

PS I had no idea you could even spend £40 on a set of bass strings

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 13:10, archived)

LaBellas can go for a lot more £70+
but they're flat wound so you'll probably replace the neck before the strings.

I thought I'd try out a set of Elixirs, they've got a coating so they stay bright longer and they do have a very nice, slick feel. Much nicer than Rotosounds that feel like curled up nail files. Urgh.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 13:18, archived)

I'd really love a tele
as much as I like my guitar the notes all sort of blend, you don't get anywhere near the articulation and clarity you do with a telecaster and they are fucken' solid things.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 13:20, archived)

yeah it's the best guitar I've ever owned, by a long shot
I got it for an amazing price via a FOF who worked at a rehearsal studio, some dude was selling all his stuff to go travelling and I think I paid something like £200
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 13:25, archived)

My Fender Jazz is still in storage from when we moved, just before Christmas. :(
Aside from laptops and cars, I think it's the most expensive thing I've ever bought. Oh, and houses, I guess.

Bought it off moohalaa, late of this parish.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 May 2021, 14:40, archived)

I've spent fucking thousands on bass guitars
managed to sell them all without losing too much money though. Tell you what, this cheap-ass Squier thing sounds as good as any I've ever had and plays nicer than most. Gonna take the bugger to bits and pimp it tomorrow, see how it likes some high-quality hardware, baby!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 15:46, archived)

Cool. The grand total of hardware mods I've made to my bass amounts to screwing in a thumb rest.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 May 2021, 15:49, archived)

ware core
made to had up
b
in a thumb rest 1500 at least
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 17:48, archived)

Vg

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 May 2021, 18:17, archived)

Fender
a i
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 17:45, archived)

got my first jab this lunchtime, yesssss

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 7 May 2021, 15:26, archived)

which one?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:26, archived)

Pfizer
is that the one with the microchip? I can't remember
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:31, archived)

Jayda Fransen just got 46 [forty-six] votes in Glasgow Southside.
I know for a fact there's way more racists than that in Glasgow, and she couldn't even get them to turn out for her.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 16:28, archived)

Bit of an own goal, making herself look all brown

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 17:19, archived)

Bloody immigrants, coming up here

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 17:24, archived)

...scoring own goals, making themselves look all brown?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 May 2021, 3:02, archived)

Tory win in Fartleypoo then (that’s what I call it)
Morning
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 7:41, archived)

morning
on a similar note, I was woken up at 05:00 by a violent bout of the shits from the beef teriyaki pizza with extra jalapeños I had last night

no regrets though. That pizza was awesome
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 7 May 2021, 7:48, archived)

I'm sure you could read the future in the toilet bowl

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:08, archived)

oh yeah
the future is "I'm going to have that fucking pizza again"
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:17, archived)

Not THAT particular one, surely?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:28, archived)

haha

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:11, archived)

morning
my pulse was 54 half an hour ago. fuck! I average a nice 49-51 because I'm really cool and mellow, like that Queefar'ds. I must have been angry or something.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:19, archived)

Take another Valium

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:41, archived)

Labour are, sadly, disappearing up their own arses

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:30, archived)

Labour started disappearing up their own arses at least 15 years ago, and they achieved it shortly afterwards.
Keir Starmer is trying to poke his head out of the arsehole like a curious turtle, but he's still covered in shit.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

Hopefully in a generation people will have forgotten who Jeremy Corbyn was
then things may be okay. I'll be retired and living in Spain, Portugal and Italy by then so I won't care.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:55, archived)

haha, no Continental retirement for you, British pigdog!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:58, archived)

Haha but I'm married to an Italian national!
it may take me a few years to get an Italian passport myself but for the time being I can still behave like an EU citizen by clever use of marriage.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:00, archived)

Typical brexiteer

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

Well I was dead set against it
but it's worked out fine for me really. I don't know what I was so worried about. My job hasn't been impacted at all really and my life is pretty much the same except I'm having to learn Italian to pass an exam to get another passport.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:01, archived)

The exam aside, if you intend to move there it's probably sensible to learn it anyway
then you'll be able to hear when the natives make derogatory remarks about all the fucking immigrants
(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:06, archived)

How they can claim any kind of superiority
with such a STUPID passato prossimo and passato imperfetto system of conjugation is beyond me. La, le, lo, li, gli fucking hell they can just fuck off bunch of cazzos
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:14, archived)

una pizza cazzo per favore, mille grazie, stronzo

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

So grotesquely obese he can live in three countries simultaneously?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 May 2021, 10:22, archived)

Fuck off, you're revolting. Your fuckin' suntan, you're like leather. Like a leather man. You could make a fuckin' suitcase. You look like a fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fuckin' Idi Amin. State of you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

The guy who wrote that used to come round here to do voiceovers in my missus' booth.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 7 May 2021, 13:19, archived)

It's amazing what you can do for tax reasons...

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

They were good once

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:58, archived)

Then came that difficult second album

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:00, archived)

under Blair they were great - he was their greatest ever leader, even if the Corbyn mob despise him.
The only Labour PM in a lot of people's lifetimes, and the only Labour leader to win a general election since 1974, nearly fifty years ago.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 9:17, archived)

I'd vote Blair again
I don't actually care about the war any more, everyone makes the odd mistake.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

seeing as how the war was in 2003 and he won again in 2005, I'd say that a large chunk of the electorate didn't give too much of a shit about the war either

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 9:30, archived)

One of my colleagues is from Iraq
not that you'd know it, she's lived here since she was a young child. I haven't spoken to her about Tony Blair, but I believe she's not a fan.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:47, archived)

Tony Blair is an abomination. Defo Bilderberg lizard man.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:00, archived)

Even if they get in again, it's going to be Tory lite

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:28, archived)

electtions are won from the centre, and Labour haven't been a socialist party since the mid 90s, when they abolished Clause 4.
So 'Tory lite' isn't necessarily a bad thing.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 9:31, archived)

let's just agree that 'Tory lite' is a less bad thing than 'full-fat Tory'

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

no disagreement from me m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 9:34, archived)

Yeah
fine. Whatever. Tory light, mild conservative, anything. Just not these cunts please. Can't we just have some not mental people? That'd be nice.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 9:43, archived)

centre left, that's where it's at yo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 9:45, archived)

I'm such a centrist dad

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:30, archived)

centre is a relative position

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:35, archived)

Well, yes
there's a steaming shit on the right and a big skid mark on the left from the person who sat there last. I don't like the middle that much but it seems to be the only place that's devoid of faeces.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:37, archived)

come on now, I reckon that Corbyn and McDonnell did a fantastic job of leading the Labour party to electoral success!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:38, archived)

Up there with Theresa May, definitely

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

it's a pretty grim period for politics eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:45, archived)

Republicans 4 lyfe

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:44, archived)

COCKWANK

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 9:10, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:11, archived)

had your first jab yet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:15, archived)

ages ago
2nd one June 17th
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:20, archived)

I had mine last night, feeling pretty wack

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:24, archived)

must be poor genes, I was 100% fine, not even a sore arm
have you tried jumping off Beachy Head?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:28, archived)

yeah, tried that, didn't work

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:30, archived)

The super soldier serum has made you impervious to harm

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:35, archived)

I tried getting beachy head
the sand got everywhere
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:35, archived)

Next time disney are shooting lucas on sight

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:37, archived)

jayda fransen y/n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 7 May 2021, 10:47, archived)

Christ no
good trek wars name tho
(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 11:07, archived)

Corbyn's fault

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:36, archived)

WANKSHIT
Not really, how are you? I'm bored as shit, I've 100-odd new product descriptions to write and I really cannot be fucking arsed. Cumberland snags and mash for dinner, bonza
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 17:10, archived)

Have restaurant peas with that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 May 2021, 17:17, archived)

got any nice new whiskeys lately?
I'm not really in the market to spend much right now but a man can dream
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 17:20, archived)

I haven’t been very adventurous lately, mainly been drinking High West American Prairie bourbon
I do have some Tomatin 12yo single malt finished in bourbon and sherry casks. It’s really nice but it’s a lot lower in flavor and alcohol than I’m used to, all a bit too delicate, although I’m starting to get used to it now. I wouldn’t get it again though, nothing really wrong with it, it’s just not my sort of thing.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 May 2021, 20:18, archived)

I thought you’d ask me what restaurant peas are

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 May 2021, 20:25, archived)

What are restaurant peas?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 21:44, archived)

DON’T FUCKING PATRONIZE ME

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 May 2021, 22:54, archived)

I feel like you're giving me mixed signals.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 23:22, archived)

BRAW
(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 22:22, archived)

I remember when Space Raiders were a big triangle. And they were 10p. And all this was fields.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 23:19, archived)

Need a bit of fishing in my life, getting a bit so so

( mongychops, Thu 6 May 2021, 17:26, archived)

I am counting down the days until I can go out for a sit-down curry at my favourite spot in Whitechapel
I am going to gorge myself like a Roman emperor, I've had my order planned out for months
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 17:29, archived)

Have you checked if you're off on 17th May?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 6 May 2021, 17:53, archived)

Sadly not, it's a Monday, I'll give them a few days to settle down then go down and eat all their stock

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 18:50, archived)

Enjoying the first of 2 days off
Gonna go to HMV tomorrow, couple of albums I want
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 6 May 2021, 19:12, archived)

I hope you mean vinyl, not cd
cassette if you are cool
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 6 May 2021, 19:23, archived)

8-track is what the kool kidz listen to these days, grandpa.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 19:29, archived)

Wax cylinders for the hipsters

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 19:38, archived)

Actually I just read the score and hum the tune to myself.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 20:13, archived)

Is that a 'barrel organ' in your pocket

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 20:34, archived)

Trust me, you've not heard music
till you've heard it on Tefifon
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBNTAmLRmUg
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 May 2021, 10:36, archived)

I have a cat. I will not risk vinyl.
And records won't fit in the DVD player
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 6 May 2021, 20:18, archived)

You could teach it to scratch

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 20:30, archived)

Clickin dis

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 May 2021, 22:55, archived)

Might make this into a /board post

(dribble, Fri 7 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

Are we at war with France yet?
if not why not and when and how?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:16, archived)

don't forget the most important question of all:
Is Chris *really* a ladder?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:34, archived)

Has someone rung him to ask?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

No, that's Jacob.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 13:57, archived)

#BarnabyBear
#BurntNeck
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

Wedding Preszzzzz

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 May 2021, 16:08, archived)

LADDERbible

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:59, archived)

youtu.be/f4j-Jyb5vMA
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:53, archived)

IT'S WAR
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3BO6GP9NMY&t=5s
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

That was the first thing I thought of when they said about escalation

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

I watched that whole episode the other day, for some reason
I was surprised and rather disappointed that some of it has aged quite badly - although overall it's still fantastic
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

No.
Because Jersey is not worth it, because some guy in the French parliament did not speak with authority when he threatened to cut Jersey's power off, because the French protestors were dignified and peaceful, because the 2 gunboats we sent were outclassed by the two the French sent, because we would lose a war with France so, so, sooooo badly.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

Can't we give them the Isle of Man?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

Is that the one Icke lives on?
It would be more sensible than selling it to Russians piece by piece, I guess.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:37, archived)

Isle of Wight, I think
He once stood as MP.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 15:48, archived)

When I DO go back to working in the office
I'm going to find it hard to adjust to not being able to fart as hard and often as I can. I'm not even sure they'll want t his chair back afterwards, to be honest.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

I honestly don't know whether I'll ever go back more than occasionally
I can do almost an extra full day's work a week instead of spending it on the tube, and it saves me £200 a month in fares. It makes no sense at all to go back to commuting
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:37, archived)

Yeah, but I've become used to just leaning to one side at any time
and curdling the air with a guff. I'm not sure if I can adjust to open-plan office protocols any more. It'd also be so obvious that I'd never be able to blame it on anyone else...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:40, archived)

Londoners WFH is the reason why I have southern wankers viewing my house
Plus, pub at the end of the road with pints for less than £4.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 14:49, archived)

I suspect WFH will spell the end of inflated London wages

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 15:00, archived)

We had a couple of lodgers over the years
the best were the ones who stayed Sunday night to Friday morning leaving us to have the house to ourselves for weekends. I'd imagine quite a few people will do stuff like that in the future - work a few days in the city then home for the rest of the time, but it may mean more room lets.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 15:06, archived)

Just a place to crash while working, I thought that's what this of thing was for
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/04/11/2BF7036300000578-3222139-Breathe_in_Last_year_estate_agents_have_marketed_this_730_a_mont-a-30_1441363039652.jpg
(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 15:26, archived)

that's prime London real estate, that is

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 15:30, archived)

Family home
Two adults can fit on the bed, one kid sleeps sitting up at the table and another kid in the wardrobe
(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 15:45, archived)

Also I'm assuming you have to wash and shit using the public toilet down the road

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 15:46, archived)

no need, just shit in the sink m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 16:36, archived)

one of the London viewers said he would be WFH for three days a week and doing the 2 hour each way commute by train on the other two days
Sounds about right - get work done on the train each way, bank a London wage and get way more house for yr money.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 15:33, archived)

nah, I doubt it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 15:30, archived)

fucking hope not

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 16:21, archived)

Well I was going to go out for a walk but now it's raining
Thanks, racists
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:38, archived)

I reckon Sadiq Khan is going to walk it in today's London mayor vote
The conservative lad seems like a right spanner and the lib dem woman has a really annoying voice.

Of course I'll be voting for 'Count Binface' because I'm a lolwaki jedi-on-the-census shitcock who should be gassed like a badger
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:41, archived)

all I want is for Laurence Fox to lose by the largest margin possible, because he is an absolute cock-end

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:44, archived)

his family must be so embarrassed by him

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:58, archived)

Dozer, you mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 12:59, archived)

between him and Chris Evans, Billie Piper has got some properly shit taste in men

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:03, archived)

Eccleston, you mean

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:11, archived)

Her fictional boyfriends are OK, I think.
Noel Clarke is such a dreamboat.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:30, archived)

My other half's idiot step-brother
announced the other day that his priorities were a) Scottish independence; and b) "I wanted out of the EU" so therefore he won't vote SNP because they want to take us straight back into Europe. He's going to vote Green on both papers.

Being a No/Remainer, I didn't particularly want to engage him in a long political discussion, so I didn't point out that the Scottish Greens are even more Europhilic than the SNP.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:45, archived)

I mind back when there was the devolution vote in the late 90s and the various campaigns were running
I was always a bit miffed that there wasn't a campaign for 'no/yes'.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 12:59, archived)

Funnily enough, my flatmate at the time said the same.
Alright Colin.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:29, archived)

no real names mate, come on

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 13:31, archived)

ps was he also a deeply unfunny, embarrassing wanker?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 13:32, archived)

As well as me, you mean?
Yes.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:09, archived)

I WAS CALLING MYSELF A DEEPLY UNFUNNY, EMBARRASSING WANKER!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 14:22, archived)

Greens are in favour of rejoining the EU though, aren't they?
At least they are in England, I assume the Scottish party is the same.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 13:37, archived)

Duh, just read the rest of your post.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 13:37, archived)

I hope he does too, but only after he's cast his vote.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

your welcome m8, your welcome

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 12:58, archived)

if I were elligible, I'd vote for all Europeans to have to wear a kilt
#freemybollocks
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 6 May 2021, 13:16, archived)

FREEDONG

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 14:09, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:11, archived)

Morning Queef.
Great news about your Mrs. :)
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 8:14, archived)

hullo Tea you cocking fucksucker
Whilst I'm tempted to say that things seem to be looking up, that's traditionally when life, that frightful willy-marmoset, takes a long run-up and boots you square in the knackers, so I think I shall keep schtum at this juncture.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

Eminently sensible.
BTW, I houseified that old electro tune of mine from a while back: soundcloud.com/sid-viscous/cosmodrome-extended-edit
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 8:28, archived)

I like it, but not as much as the original tbh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:32, archived)

Well very few tunes are of that calibre, it has to be said. ^_^
GTG, sprog needs to be dropped off at childminder.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 8:46, archived)

childminder the pool
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:57, archived)

Heh, poo.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 9:42, archived)

ffs
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-56813982

yeah, this sounds correct - black people are refusing the free vaccination against a deadly disease that they are being actively contacted about and offered, because of 'racism'. Definitely nothing to do with ignorant scaremongering in their own communities fuelled by stupidity and science denial - it's other people's fault.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:29, archived)

this is why I voted for Brexit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:33, archived)

It's not like black people have no reason to be suspicious of the government and government agencies, is the point, I think.
Combine that with relentless anti-vaxx shite being constantly pushed by 'influencers', who themselves are overwhelmingly white and middle-class, and therefore in the lowest-risk group already, and this is what you get.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 8:33, archived)

sounds like abdication of responsibility to me
Only a fucking wanker would refuse a vaccination - therefore, the people refusing their vaccinations are, in my expert opinion, fucking wankers. Selfish, stupid fucking wankers, at that - I don't care what colour they are.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:36, archived)

Is your daughter stupid because there are things she's too young to understand?
Clearly not. Age is a barrier to understanding, but it's not the only one. Education, cultural context, misinformation - there are many reasonable things that prevent good people from fully understanding a situation. Ironically your own naive black & white absolutism is another example.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

black & white lol

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

Are there loads of people dying from their jabs? No
Do these jabs protect you and those around you? Yes
Is Bill Gates trying to inject you with 5G microchips? No he fucking isn't

These *are* 'black and white absolutes' and anyone who believes otherwise is the naive one, not me.

At some point if you're an adult and don't have learning disabilities, you have to take responsibility for yourself and stop making excuses. Science denial and anti-mask, anti vax bullshit kills people - I couldn't give a shit if your community has had poor relations with the government/police etc - get a jab and wear a mask you stupid cunts.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:07, archived)

BRBEEEE!!! He's doing it agaaiin! Make him stooop...
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 8:35, archived)

I won't stop until our once-great nation takes up the mantle of Empire and resumes its rightful place as owner of the world
Even then I might not stop
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

I however agree with them as this whole Covid business has blatantly been engineered from the start to usher in an age of medical totalitarianism, draconian social control and mass population reduction to satisfy the elite cabal that have been directing society from the shadows for millennia.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

Adrenochrome.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

Bill Gates.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

Gay frogs.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

Frank Bruno...
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

I don't know, it sounds plausible to me
ignorant scaremongering doesn't discriminate by community. If anything there are probably far more white anti-vaxxers than black ones, because they fall in with the general QAnon/Trumpet/thick as pigshit crowd.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:41, archived)

That's exactly it.
In America, anti-vaxxers are disproportionately white. But the nonsense can also find fertile ground in people who have a history of being treated like crap by the medical establishment.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 8:44, archived)

Well, as the article expands on beneath the unhelpfully black-and-white [pun not intended] headline
the reasons are varied, and deeply rooted in distrust of state and medical organisations. Members of communities that have faced wide-ranging discrimination are probably more likely to have reservations about such things, and mix that into the foetid soup of misinformation that is the internet and you've got a foul mix.

Saying "it's because of racism" is unhelpful [although, reading the article, I can't see anyone who actually said that - it's a clickbait headline] but calling them names is even less helpful.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:51, archived)

Well, having been told that there's no such thing as institutional racism
If I was black I'd DEFINITELY trust the government. Yes, sir-ee, after windrush and Grenfell I'd definitely put my trust in the authorities to put my interest first. No question about it.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:04, archived)

and the tens of millions of people who have been safely vaccinated - people of all colours and backgrounds - they're all in on the scam, right?
it's all a big trick, sheeple!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:09, archived)

I'm white as chalk, and I'd put my trust in the authorities to put my interests flat last
that said, I'm still getting the jab
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:10, archived)

same here, they're all a bunch of cunts - but that's not an excuse to risk the lives of others because I read some stupid shit on the internet

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

no, indeed

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:14, archived)

If anything, it seems to me that making excuses for people being ignorant science-deniers because of their ethnicity is rather patronising
A bit racist, you might say.

'Oh they've been treated awfully in the past, it's not their fault they're jeopardising their lives and those around them, they don't know any better due to poor education, bless them'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

they even say as much in the article
Black communities were passed over in favour of white and South Asian ones in information campaigns, even though they have a lengthy track record of poor coverage in vaccinations

so maybe the black community doesn't trust the government, but maybe if the government had made any effort at all to create that trust, Lenny Henry wouldn't have had to run that campaign
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:34, archived)

we're talking about this, right?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=faxy7GANyAg
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:51, archived)

of course

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:55, archived)

Hey, I'm not making any excuses
but there's clearly a reason why black people don't trust the jab and I doubt it's selfishness.

To be honest none of us have given a fuck about the education levels of misinformation put around in minority communities - we don't care. It's not our problem until now it is and suddenly we're all "oh why won't these people trust medical science and government advice what's wrong with them" when we've all given no fucks about them for the last fifty years.

Bit late.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:36, archived)

I don't see this as a race issue at all
White idiots are just as likely to be science-denying anti-vax morons - as Tea pointed out above, in the US these people are overwhelmingly white. Anyone who believes that shit - anyone at all, from any ethnic or socioeconomic group, is a fucking idiot. No excuses for any of them: they're risking people's lives because they're mugs who've watched some prick on YouTube telling them it's a 'scamdemic', that is inexcusable save for if you have learning difficulties.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:48, archived)

I think a lot of it's down to the batshit crazy
churches. Fucking hell, the state of the Old Kent Road on a Sunday morning. I swear some of the driving is being done by the Holy Spirit because it sure as fuck isn't someone who's passed a driving test, and the parking is beyond anything you've ever seen.

Chris Is A Ladder is one of my all-time favourites. It's a memorable name for a cult, sure.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:55, archived)

If you're religious
you're already familiar with believing things that make no sense and can't be proved
(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:02, archived)

I think this may well be at the heart of the matter

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:07, archived)

Or the fart of the matter - if you'll believe in this then... well..
www.ladbible.com/news/news-congregation-claims-pastor-farts-in-their-faces-to-heal-them-20210320
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:23, archived)

that Chris has a lot to answer for

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:06, archived)

Haha, did it actually say "Chris"?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 10:08, archived)

There is a place called the Christ Restoration Centre
I think they need to get together

No - that's my typo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:21, archived)

Aww, shame.
I love the idea of a religion that just worships some guy called Chris.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 10:49, archived)

I used to work with a guy called Chris Terry
protocol for email was first name plus initial of last so [email protected]

his email address was [email protected]

the IT team were dicks
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:58, archived)

Love it.
There was a guy in my year at uni called Tam Watson. The uni ID cards had an identifier for each student that started with the initial of the first name followed by the first three letters of the surname.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 11:15, archived)

Yaaaas!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:28, archived)

morning queef, nice morning for a coffee and a poo

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:42, archived)

I had a frankly repulsive shit this morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:57, archived)

They're not there to make friends

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:09, archived)

War with france y/n

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:55, archived)

y

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

shit yeah, erry day

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

it's our longest-standing national tradition

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:15, archived)

well that and having a wank in the frozen aisle at Sainsbury's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:19, archived)

I like to get it in the birds eye

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:27, archived)

vg

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 9:28, archived)

Explains the crispy crumb coating on your fishy fingers

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:02, archived)

Frozen jizz flingers

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:14, archived)

it's all gone a bit racist in here, I blame 'Cassius Kray'.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 10:47, archived)

You don't have to be racist to post on b3ta...
...but it helps!!11
( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2021, 10:53, archived)

oh but I am racist
Deeply, deeply racist
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 10:57, archived)

I read this in the style of 'Mousse T'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:17, archived)

'Deeply Racist' was the abandoned follow up to hit single 'I am too sexy for my shoes' by Right Wing Fred

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 11:41, archived)

You do, actually

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:18, archived)

I bet popular anti-racism activist brb would enjoy this thread.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 11:20, archived)

Rip

(dribble, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:25, archived)

Hey, I don't know if you're aware of this, but he hates racism - and he hates racists!
Please feel free to circulate this information, it's possible some boarder's aren't aware of it and it's very important that people know.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:41, archived)

He hated racists before it was cool to hate racists, that's authentic racist-hatred, that's what I reckon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 6 May 2021, 11:46, archived)

he actually invented not being a racist, that's what I heard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 11:51, archived)

He hates anti-racists, because they're just getting on the bandwagon, that's what I heard. IRONIC ISN'T IT.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:09, archived)

He actually considers more recent anti-racists to be an inferior race, thus making himself a massive racist, that's what I heard.
You couldn't make it up!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:16, archived)

I heard he wants all racists to have to wear a yellow star on their clothing,
and possibly also round them up in big camps.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 12:17, archived)

I heard about the word.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 6 May 2021, 12:30, archived)

fighting racism with racismism
meanwhile this thread is becoming a cesspool of racismismism
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 6 May 2021, 12:29, archived)

#RacistLivesMatter

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 May 2021, 12:31, archived)

THREADRUSH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 15:22, archived)

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN
* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 5 May 2021, 15:26, archived)

How do I fucking swear?
While swearing is permitted on the boards, we prefer more creative forms of profanity:

Portmanteau: twat + cunt = twunt. Can you think of your own?

Animal combos: cock-badger and kitten-flaps have been found to be most effective.

Reversal: by reversing "fuck" and "cock" you can substantially improve your swearing. EG: "Cock off you cocking fucksucker."
Stand out from the crowd and find your own swearing style. Maybe yours will catch on.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 5 May 2021, 15:47, archived)

Cock off you cocking fucksucker twunt cock-badger kitten-flaps! Haha we have a right laugh here!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 May 2021, 17:49, archived)

Woo Yay Houpla!!!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 5 May 2021, 18:16, archived)

Hold on - what fucking crowd?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 May 2021, 17:50, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 5 May 2021, 18:16, archived)

There were also 97,366 users who didn't post much...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 5 May 2021, 19:02, archived)

Damn you covid 19

( mongychops, Wed 5 May 2021, 19:08, archived)

pato b&ton

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 16:18, archived)

Bum tit flicky flicky flicky ugitme

( broadsword, Wed 5 May 2021, 16:01, archived)

Willy’s

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 5 May 2021, 18:31, archived)

No thanks, I've just eaten.
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 5 May 2021, 21:08, archived)

There’s always room for another willy

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 5 May 2021, 21:17, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 12:35, archived)

lol blanked

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 13:04, archived)

sympathy reply

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 13:12, archived)

Finally starting to feel a bit more human again

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 May 2021, 13:15, archived)

Huzzah!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 13:16, archived)

..... yay ......

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 May 2021, 13:22, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 7:41, archived)

Yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 May 2021, 7:43, archived)

hullo Zephyr Boar

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 5 May 2021, 8:02, archived)

hullo wood-o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:02, archived)

2 toimes hullo maites

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:39, archived)

hello mate

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 8:07, archived)

how are you getting on?
i've been quite busy and quite miserable for a few weeks
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 May 2021, 8:26, archived)

sorry to hear that man
Not too bad here ta, mrs had 2nd jab so jr is allowed to stay again as of last weekend which is ace, she's getting pretty good on the guitar now so I've lent her my Tele to tide her over until her birthday when she'll get her own. G doing OK, just a couple of minor health setbacks, hopefully she'll be back looking for work soon (please god).
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:01, archived)

glad G is on the mend and kiddo is back,
can the little one shred yet?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 May 2021, 9:49, archived)

she knows more chords than I do, it's rather embarrassing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:50, archived)

ha, well done to her then.
i bet it's a lot easier now she can stay again.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 5 May 2021, 10:18, archived)

it really is
I have 7 months of brainwashing to reprogram
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:25, archived)

morning
more sleep please
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 5 May 2021, 8:47, archived)

sure, help yourself m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:01, archived)

you're too kind

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:09, archived)

some would say I'm not kind enough

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:31, archived)

how dare anyone!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:39, archived)

Hello

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 May 2021, 8:58, archived)

garold you old minge, how the devil are ya?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:01, archived)

urgh

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:32, archived)

wow you really overcooked it on the weekend eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:35, archived)

Don't start

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:50, archived)

good morning queefy, gosh what a glorious wednesday morning

( broadsword, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:17, archived)

innit doe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 9:30, archived)

alright
Gorgeous sunny day in affluent North Yorkshire.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

hi

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:56, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:29, archived)

how's it going?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:56, archived)

hi

(dribble, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:45, archived)

Line of Booty

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 5 May 2021, 10:46, archived)

off a club toilet cistern?

(dribble, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:56, archived)

hi m8-y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 10:56, archived)

I do look good in a sailor outfit

(dribble, Wed 5 May 2021, 11:02, archived)

Well y'know

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 5 May 2021, 11:21, archived)

No, I'm not sure that I do.
Please elaborate.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 11:24, archived)

not for much longer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 5 May 2021, 11:40, archived)

so 2rue

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 May 2021, 11:47, archived)

youtu.be/QzIuV9Dli1w
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 4 May 2021, 22:03, archived)

Terrible bullying of Riverghost

( Richard Shitheels, Wed 5 May 2021, 7:44, archived)