
Eh portal isn't that hard :P
/tiredandbeinganassforsomereason...
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:22,
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/tiredandbeinganassforsomereason...

I just wanted to see how fast I could do it without rushing and getting it wrong.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:23,
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thats pretty damn fast...have a congratulatory pearoast...

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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:28,
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You shoulda seen the skin before I smudged it! He looked like he had terrible leprosy.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:23,
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Which reminds me, have you heard Aqueous Transmission?
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:26,
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Wait a second and I shall upload it for you.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:28,
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I swear I've heard of a band...something Transmission. God damn, that's gonna bug me now.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:30,
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'Night!
I shall put the link to the song on your dA page.
*hugs*
I shall go after, too.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:31,
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I shall put the link to the song on your dA page.
*hugs*
I shall go after, too.

This came out really well. You've made some great pics today :)
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:20,
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TJ: eBay just sent me a £7.50 voucher *glee*
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:23,
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YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD.
EVEN AFTER YOU REACHED OUT TO ME, THEN BROKE MY HEART.
I'M GLAD I'M ABOUT TO GO TO BED, I CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:47,
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EVEN AFTER YOU REACHED OUT TO ME, THEN BROKE MY HEART.
I'M GLAD I'M ABOUT TO GO TO BED, I CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS.

How was your party in the end?
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:48,
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Was quite awkward not knowing anyone, I came up for a gig and a studio session, but because Rich, the drummer, goes to uni here, we stayed for a few days. It was pretty good overall, especially as I'm coming up here to uni in september, so it's good to sample the student life a bit more.
Also, we managed to get Rich with a screamer flash at about 6am. Was fucking classic.
Also, I was a good DJ.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:54,
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Also, we managed to get Rich with a screamer flash at about 6am. Was fucking classic.
Also, I was a good DJ.

Where was the party, I've forgotten. Also, what are you going to do at uni?
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:57,
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I'm coming up here to do a BA in Music Production :D
Combines two of my favourite things:
Music and sheer geekery.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:00,
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Combines two of my favourite things:
Music and sheer geekery.

and about my friend who does sound mixing and ADR for movies.
I bet you'll have loads of fun :)
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:03,
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I bet you'll have loads of fun :)

It's something I really enjoy, so I'll hopefully do well and have loads of fun as the course goes on :D
'Fraid I must dash now though, as I need to be up in about 6 hours to move a load of furniture about that got shifted in the pre-party preparation, and then I've got a 4 car journey to get home again.
We shall speak in the morrow though, DON'T YOU FRET, MY DEAR. Have a good evening, y'all :3
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:08,
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'Fraid I must dash now though, as I need to be up in about 6 hours to move a load of furniture about that got shifted in the pre-party preparation, and then I've got a 4 car journey to get home again.
We shall speak in the morrow though, DON'T YOU FRET, MY DEAR. Have a good evening, y'all :3

Either way, it's fantastic.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:48,
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as usual. Flickrleech has its version 2 beta online:
beta.flickrleech.net
I'm going have to get around to sending this guy some money, I use his site every single day.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:51,
archived)
beta.flickrleech.net
I'm going have to get around to sending this guy some money, I use his site every single day.

I don't think this one is as wild as the first I did in this style, but I learned a lot making them and I think I can probably improve.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:53,
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TASTES LIKE...
...SPLEEN.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:09,
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...SPLEEN.

i like.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 9:21,
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![Challenge Entry: Make Newspaper Comics Funny [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

can't believe we don't have Lawmasters pwning chavs yet.

I wish the last thing I saw before bed every night was as good as this. Normally it's my cock, see.
Night all!
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:16,
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Night all!


Looks good as is, I can use it flat on the wall
or hanging on a hook stand. Might get a Doc lamp
in the view too.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:47,
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or hanging on a hook stand. Might get a Doc lamp
in the view too.

The interviews will be the first done. As they
need little more than the character. And birdcage. [/;-D
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:52,
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need little more than the character. And birdcage. [/;-D

I saw mofaha's name on there, is he being sent stuff too?
I feel so included for once :D
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:54,
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I feel so included for once :D

Maybe, you still have the hazing stage to go yet, lad. [/;-D
*warms the eels*
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 5:36,
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*warms the eels*

and it got the most votes for last week's compo
I was very suprised at both those outcomes of reposting it
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:32,
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I was very suprised at both those outcomes of reposting it

so can someone post up the same image with the words "We Are Not Men...We Are DEVO"
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 4:43,
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that Galactus, a massive, massive, super-being, that could eat planets, just looked like a bloke in a fucking ridiculous hat.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:11,
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at least this one's quite clever.
Even if it is giving the bugger what he wanted.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:49,
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Even if it is giving the bugger what he wanted.

than stir shite-pots. ;)
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:54,
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I have nothing better to do than remix pictures I've already posted for desktop purposes.
I do love the unemployed man with a passion, also.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:56,
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I do love the unemployed man with a passion, also.

"we don't serve those!"
/Kill Bill blog
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:12,
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/Kill Bill blog

can you tell me which newspaper I might read it in?
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:42,
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It's the Six Million Dollar Man comic that ran in the 70s.
This particular story was Steve Austin combating an android threat. The guy he's beheaded in that picture is an android.
I was a BIG Steve Austin fan as a kid.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:26,
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This particular story was Steve Austin combating an android threat. The guy he's beheaded in that picture is an android.
I was a BIG Steve Austin fan as a kid.

Can you offer a 1920x1200 of your next one please?
kthxbai
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:42,
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kthxbai

i need a new pc, although really 1st i need a new job so i can afford said pc
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:51,
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Your trees are rather good!
*click*
Get a proper aspect ratio!
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:51,
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*click*
Get a proper aspect ratio!

I like this. It makes me smile. It makes me smile blood.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:30,
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must actually be your constant expression.
Even down to the freakishly pointed eyes.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:31,
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Even down to the freakishly pointed eyes.

my friend sayed he'd fuck you anytime of day
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:37,
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I'LL FUCKIN GIVE YOU LOVE!

Ah.
No love.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:20,
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Ah.
No love.

THEY'RE KILLING THE PENGUINS.
Although they might not be because i can't remember which side they live on
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:22,
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Although they might not be because i can't remember which side they live on
![Challenge Entry: Make Newspaper Comics Funny [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

Although if this ever turns up on the BNP "humour" section or someone from the Daily Mail calls it "gloriously politically incorrect", I'll kill myself.

but whatever he was saying was still naive and wrong, in as far as it was comprehensible. If he wasn't such a sexy dancer he'd have no redeeming characteristics.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:06,
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But he was saying that basically religions (not just Islam, although why he specifically brought them up in this climate without even asking any Muslims which seems a bit rude) should have some seperate laws from each other in certain areas. Which I suppose is liberal and multicultural and all that but it's basically a step towards segregation as far as I can see and a step away from seperation of the church and state.
Although people who blame "fucking pakis" for everything annoy me a lot more.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:11,
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Although people who blame "fucking pakis" for everything annoy me a lot more.

and has in no way shape or form been done ever.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:05,
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I don't think I'v had a sober day for at least 4 years which is awfully bad...
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:17,
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that's not funny
"SEARCH FOR A RAPIST"
with that special "x" factor
:/
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:36,
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"SEARCH FOR A RAPIST"
with that special "x" factor
:/

then other shows will copy
"I'm a celebrity Rapist in the Jungle!"
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:38,
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"I'm a celebrity Rapist in the Jungle!"

and what will the daily mail make of it?
"BAN THIS SICK FILTH!"
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:04,
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"BAN THIS SICK FILTH!"

Come back when you're on white lightning.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:40,
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short of having surgery to remove the part of the brain that stores the memory of seeing it.
*shudder*
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:47,
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*shudder*

they have no doubt been memed to death
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:37,
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"there it isn't"
Even though it quite clearly is, which means she's wrong, which must be because she is a woman.
/blatant sexism
Woo!
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:37,
archived)
Even though it quite clearly is, which means she's wrong, which must be because she is a woman.
/blatant sexism
Woo!

and the shark is the waiter
but he's getting it wrong and he's sweating
hence all the water
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:37,
archived)
but he's getting it wrong and he's sweating
hence all the water

and it's my own freaking image :|
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:50,
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when you look back at something you did and it's "what the shit was I thinking" :D
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:54,
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a months bandwidth in 3 hours :D
and it's not even any good and I should be ashamed for making it

They just play the race card and get off scott free
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:40,
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you're spending too much time at 4chan
(and me too obviously, for recongnising that one) :)
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:41,
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(and me too obviously, for recongnising that one) :)


Linking Moser is all very well, me and Mongy have done it plenty. But actually embedding her is a bit grim. Behave.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:32,
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/is too drunk to make anything but obvious and unfunny strikethrough gags
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:34,
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would be much worse. Well, without a bath first.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:34,
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I've just become really gay as of late.
It's a crushing bore really.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:33,
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It's a crushing bore really.

It's all so right.
Actually I think that's both enough gay and sex talk for now, it's becoming quite disturbingly insidious.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:44,
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Actually I think that's both enough gay and sex talk for now, it's becoming quite disturbingly insidious.

Still the whole sex thing is going particularly fucking wrong for me at this exact moment in time. It's all the internet's fault.
Need classics. To quell. Self.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:49,
archived)
Need classics. To quell. Self.

But the jist of it is, for reasons to do with my wanting to devote my life to analytical science, philosophy and psychology (yes you may be surprised given my presence here) I abandoned the idea of relationships or companionship; it also more than likely was to do with being shitted around by people for a while and is a thinly veiled excuse to be jaded.
Unfortunately this has led me to be sexually repressed whilst completely abandoning the idea of relationships or emotion of any sort, which had over time led me via the internet to BDSM.
Which I had a bizarre fascination with for some time through pornography and various other things.
Lately it's seemed to rear its ugly head more forcefully than ever, and it's becoming increasingly tiresome.
That's pretty much it in short, leaving out some of the bits which are becoming personally worrysome.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:55,
archived)
Unfortunately this has led me to be sexually repressed whilst completely abandoning the idea of relationships or emotion of any sort, which had over time led me via the internet to BDSM.
Which I had a bizarre fascination with for some time through pornography and various other things.
Lately it's seemed to rear its ugly head more forcefully than ever, and it's becoming increasingly tiresome.
That's pretty much it in short, leaving out some of the bits which are becoming personally worrysome.

you've just not met the right person yet.
you may hit me for saying that..
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:58,
archived)
you may hit me for saying that..

I swear it has come about purely due to having the internet and needing to masturbate, and somehow i've entered into a world of having the opportunity to have sex and pretty weird sex.
Without the actual relationships, emotions or love. Which are arguably the bits I can't have due to time restraints and various other things I couldn't even begin to coherently into.
Also the whole thing really doesn't gel with my personality, i've got everything all nicely segmented in a non-multiple personality disorder way.
But at this precise moment in time i'm feeling particularly anxious about proceeding moments, which is in turn making me feel less in control (in that stupid way that psychology works).
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:04,
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Without the actual relationships, emotions or love. Which are arguably the bits I can't have due to time restraints and various other things I couldn't even begin to coherently into.
Also the whole thing really doesn't gel with my personality, i've got everything all nicely segmented in a non-multiple personality disorder way.
But at this precise moment in time i'm feeling particularly anxious about proceeding moments, which is in turn making me feel less in control (in that stupid way that psychology works).

and yes men have needs and sex seems to be one of them, fucking men. but surely love and emotion are a bigger need? obviously needing them for reasons not related to insecurity or any of that crap, because thats fairly unhealthy, but well to be crap, love and shit is nice.
i would say it sounds like you're cutting off your nose to spite your face but you either good at using big words and making intelligent posts or simply too clever for that statement to apply to you.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:11,
archived)
i would say it sounds like you're cutting off your nose to spite your face but you either good at using big words and making intelligent posts or simply too clever for that statement to apply to you.

And really it's the whole nub of my everything. There's nothing to say I don't want emotion and love and so on, in fact I very much do significantly more than i'd want or need sex (which for a man is ultimately just gratification saving some of the more intense and more psychologically blurred practices in BDSM). The whole thing rests on the inherently harrowing idea that there are far too many possibilities and not enough time.
I can't be the true hermit/analytic whilst also having a strong and meaningful relationship, one diminishes the other. This is true on a personality base and just a matter of time.
Devoting time to one thing eats out of the other.
The problem is the sex thing doesn't exist for me as a gratification issue, I can deal with that easily, it's a carefully balanced ego and experience issue. So I have to weigh up the fact that i'd have to do the stuff now while i'm young, whether I truly actually need it, whether in the long run i'd need to keep doing it for it to feel worthwhile, whether I am acting on the influence of society, etc.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:19,
archived)
I can't be the true hermit/analytic whilst also having a strong and meaningful relationship, one diminishes the other. This is true on a personality base and just a matter of time.
Devoting time to one thing eats out of the other.
The problem is the sex thing doesn't exist for me as a gratification issue, I can deal with that easily, it's a carefully balanced ego and experience issue. So I have to weigh up the fact that i'd have to do the stuff now while i'm young, whether I truly actually need it, whether in the long run i'd need to keep doing it for it to feel worthwhile, whether I am acting on the influence of society, etc.

but then surely if it's an ego issue and expierence one, then thats just gratification, but not on a purely sexual/sex based level?
maybe i'm being dim and simple again.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:24,
archived)
maybe i'm being dim and simple again.

People are out having relationships, sex, kinky sex, etc etc etc. So it's not going to be an actual physical reason, it's an ego reason, knowing that i've done it. Because ultimately the experience will fade, sensations are not recallable, they have to be relived.
So I end up sitting about thinking: should I just do a few things while i'm still young and they can be my savoured memories, but then that would be giving in, I don't really need it, it's the fact other people are mentioning it to me and influence, but then that sounds a bit like a celibate religious reason, etc etc etc.
I should also add, that as i'm fairly youngish and have been in this bleak pit of nihilistic despair for a while, and went to an all boys school; i've not actually had a relationship nor sex. So some offer of kinky sex with some stranger would be my depressingly first experience and it would be before an actual relation. Hence why it's immediately harrowing.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:30,
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So I end up sitting about thinking: should I just do a few things while i'm still young and they can be my savoured memories, but then that would be giving in, I don't really need it, it's the fact other people are mentioning it to me and influence, but then that sounds a bit like a celibate religious reason, etc etc etc.
I should also add, that as i'm fairly youngish and have been in this bleak pit of nihilistic despair for a while, and went to an all boys school; i've not actually had a relationship nor sex. So some offer of kinky sex with some stranger would be my depressingly first experience and it would be before an actual relation. Hence why it's immediately harrowing.

from personally expierence of expierencing things, ok i've not had many sexual partners, but the few i have had have all been shit waste of time bar one and sadly i was very much in love with that person and it was that expierence and the whole thing of being in love that made it worth while, obviously with sex there is a pleasure thing to some extent with most people you do it with, but the greatest thing is doing it with someone you love and sharing something more then bodily fluids.
otherwise it is just pretty much an abuse cycle, because more often than not one person feels shit and it carries on within so much of your life, if you realise it or not.
and getting a bit of kinky sex isn't much of a big life expierence...i really doubt in ten years time i will look back on my life and think "wow doing this or that sexual thing was a great expierence". it's pretty momentry. but you can look back on things you did with someone or feelings shared and think wow that was great, that was a real defining moment.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:38,
archived)
otherwise it is just pretty much an abuse cycle, because more often than not one person feels shit and it carries on within so much of your life, if you realise it or not.
and getting a bit of kinky sex isn't much of a big life expierence...i really doubt in ten years time i will look back on my life and think "wow doing this or that sexual thing was a great expierence". it's pretty momentry. but you can look back on things you did with someone or feelings shared and think wow that was great, that was a real defining moment.

You either look back and think the things you have done were dull/not worth the amount of hype and overexaggeration they were accounted for, or alternatively you convince yourself passionately that they were the best things ever.
Neither of which is particularly helpful for the person who hasn't done them. It's like the classic thing of having to make your own mistakes, I was never one for that idea (in fact I am ridiculously against it to the point of over thinking any future or possibility to an absurd level) but it almost seems like I am destined to try and make the 'mistake' purely because I can not survive the amount of thought that I put into the situation I am in.
To be honest everything could be sorted out nicely and happily with a nice relationship, which could placate any kinky desire indefinately, fill any longing for compassion and emotional experience and generally sooth my mind regarding life experiences. But at the same time there's the chance that i'd like it, or I wouldn't know when to end things, or if to have another relationship, or if I could carry on having a relationship until I wanted to really buckle down and become hermitic, or if really I was giving up by even considering it - like some weak willed man who is not even to equal one millionth of the sacrifice and devotion Galileo and other put into things.
Also: I should add i'm not that young, I just feel it some days due to having never actually experienced certain things - although conversely I feel really being one of the few people who actually thinks about existance, the world, global and humanitarian responsibility. 20 which I believe is the same as you are.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:49,
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Neither of which is particularly helpful for the person who hasn't done them. It's like the classic thing of having to make your own mistakes, I was never one for that idea (in fact I am ridiculously against it to the point of over thinking any future or possibility to an absurd level) but it almost seems like I am destined to try and make the 'mistake' purely because I can not survive the amount of thought that I put into the situation I am in.
To be honest everything could be sorted out nicely and happily with a nice relationship, which could placate any kinky desire indefinately, fill any longing for compassion and emotional experience and generally sooth my mind regarding life experiences. But at the same time there's the chance that i'd like it, or I wouldn't know when to end things, or if to have another relationship, or if I could carry on having a relationship until I wanted to really buckle down and become hermitic, or if really I was giving up by even considering it - like some weak willed man who is not even to equal one millionth of the sacrifice and devotion Galileo and other put into things.
Also: I should add i'm not that young, I just feel it some days due to having never actually experienced certain things - although conversely I feel really being one of the few people who actually thinks about existance, the world, global and humanitarian responsibility. 20 which I believe is the same as you are.

it's ounds crappy, but if you haven't been really in love then it' impossible to pass judgement.
and sex is one of thoes things, that i'm sure most normal people will say is great fun and very enjoyable, but not the most important thing by any stretch and if it's easily accessable in whatever form then they will probably use it.
how oldare you? i'm being nosey now.
edit: yep. same as me. it's an awful age.
and i admire anyone considering any sort of hermetic lifestyle.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:53,
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and sex is one of thoes things, that i'm sure most normal people will say is great fun and very enjoyable, but not the most important thing by any stretch and if it's easily accessable in whatever form then they will probably use it.
edit: yep. same as me. it's an awful age.
and i admire anyone considering any sort of hermetic lifestyle.

I just think about the concequences of it and I can't see any reaction which doesn't impinge on my wanting to do other things in some way. In isolate it would be lovely, but in reality things have concequences and mold and cut off areas of life and experience. It's a pretty horrible curse of knowledge really, if I didn't know so then I could just get into a relationship and get lost forget about the future and be happy. But I can't just abandon thought, it seems like a crime and in its own soul destroying way it is worthwhile.
EDIT: I had a sort of internet person, who I sometimes laughable call my apprentice given that he sarcastically called me an oracle, who I used to talk to about these things. He wasn't so analytically inclined, but he was a femme boy struggling with the idea of gender, sexuality and BDSM type things, slightly younger also no experience, while still being clued up enough to engage in and get stuff out of a conversation with me. But unfortunately he has disappeared under mysterious circumstances and I haven't heard from him in ages.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:59,
archived)
EDIT: I had a sort of internet person, who I sometimes laughable call my apprentice given that he sarcastically called me an oracle, who I used to talk to about these things. He wasn't so analytically inclined, but he was a femme boy struggling with the idea of gender, sexuality and BDSM type things, slightly younger also no experience, while still being clued up enough to engage in and get stuff out of a conversation with me. But unfortunately he has disappeared under mysterious circumstances and I haven't heard from him in ages.

i spent a year or so avoiding other people and i enjoyed it on the whole, but at the end of the day all the things i could learn from being by myself and all the things i understood from doing that were matched if not bettered by being around people and having relationships and getting fucked over really badly, i learnt alot from it and ultimately i kind of learned to start liking myself (well vaguely) and i learnt amazing things from people and it gave me such a brilliant bit of life expierence.
being on your own for a time span has it's uses, you're pretty much forced into a corner to understand yourself and all your own morbid processes and needs in all their vivid and gory detail, but thats all pretty useless when you just avoid any sort of emotional connections with others.
everyone needs a mental refrence of mistakes and emotions and expierences just to grow as a person otherwise you do just stunt yourself and become either god or nothing in your own mind and then you get into dangerous ground and your brain starts to go wrong.you can delve too deep and start to make things this or that and without the expierence of understanding it from an outside point of view or having someone else to kick off you do really fuck yourself up.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:09,
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being on your own for a time span has it's uses, you're pretty much forced into a corner to understand yourself and all your own morbid processes and needs in all their vivid and gory detail, but thats all pretty useless when you just avoid any sort of emotional connections with others.
everyone needs a mental refrence of mistakes and emotions and expierences just to grow as a person otherwise you do just stunt yourself and become either god or nothing in your own mind and then you get into dangerous ground and your brain starts to go wrong.you can delve too deep and start to make things this or that and without the expierence of understanding it from an outside point of view or having someone else to kick off you do really fuck yourself up.

As regards the whole fucking yourself up bit, as a unwavering pragmatist, analyst, solipsist and realist. I can't say that being fucked up really means anything to me, nor can I say that being insular or unhappy is necessarily wrong or an unvalid way to spend your life. A lot of assumption is put on everything, especially happiness and experience. "Live fast, die young and leave a beautiful corpse" - if that were really true and really believed wouldn't people immediately kill themselves. Because ultimately the experiences don't mean anything when you are dead, so making the assumption that happiness is the only worthy thing in life doesn't really follow through with logic.
Then of course there's the fact I probably just want to be different, see people being happy and see them being ignorant of fear, uncertainty, the larger problems. Who knows, but I refuse to believe or follow anyone, because no-one knows what they are talking about because nothing is right.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:18,
archived)
Then of course there's the fact I probably just want to be different, see people being happy and see them being ignorant of fear, uncertainty, the larger problems. Who knows, but I refuse to believe or follow anyone, because no-one knows what they are talking about because nothing is right.

but being fucking unhappy is destructive to yourself and thoes around you and you have to turn a blind eye sometimes otherwise you either kill yourself or end up an empty shell.
i know i probably won't ever be happy but i'd rather not be unhappy and the hard part is avoid just being neither and nothing.
if you can look into despair and all the awfulness of life and understand it and accept it then you've got a fighting chance of gaining something.
ignorances isn't bliss but nor is being so wrapped up or aware of it.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:22,
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i know i probably won't ever be happy but i'd rather not be unhappy and the hard part is avoid just being neither and nothing.
if you can look into despair and all the awfulness of life and understand it and accept it then you've got a fighting chance of gaining something.
ignorances isn't bliss but nor is being so wrapped up or aware of it.

(or at least I like to think I live in the black hostile void for meladramatic purposes)
But as of late I seem to have become shakier and shakier, the thought, words and memories are still there but I don't seem to be able to feel it quite as much. I think it's been a series of events which have slowly been chipping away at me, insidiously bleeding normal social ideas in through the back door, then popping round with some sexual propositions.
Usually things blow over, well as regards to the sexual things anyway, but it seems a bit like my situation is slowly beginning to catch up with me and my idea(l)s. Although talking about it like it is a problem is as much of the problem as the occurances themselves.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:35,
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But as of late I seem to have become shakier and shakier, the thought, words and memories are still there but I don't seem to be able to feel it quite as much. I think it's been a series of events which have slowly been chipping away at me, insidiously bleeding normal social ideas in through the back door, then popping round with some sexual propositions.
Usually things blow over, well as regards to the sexual things anyway, but it seems a bit like my situation is slowly beginning to catch up with me and my idea(l)s. Although talking about it like it is a problem is as much of the problem as the occurances themselves.

is just part of the process of understanding and accepting, which is a good thing surely?
i'd like to give you a hug and just completely dumb everything down and say "there, there, it'll all get better".
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:41,
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i'd like to give you a hug and just completely dumb everything down and say "there, there, it'll all get better".

And the chubby girl with self esteem problems and father issues, started crying and said "I'm a zero".
To which the French bloke who was in the room sat next down to her and said "We're all zeros".
That is why I love the chariactures of French people in French films, because I swear they cannot actually be like that.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:51,
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To which the French bloke who was in the room sat next down to her and said "We're all zeros".
That is why I love the chariactures of French people in French films, because I swear they cannot actually be like that.

the french are somewhat very beautiful(and i don't just mean purely by appearance) and at the same time bloody annoying.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:55,
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the argument against it is that even if all other people are generated by your own mind, they are still autonomous intelligent entities. Therefore the part about being generated by your own mind has no meaning, since they are as good as and equivalent to actual people and there is nothing to suggest that they aren't in fact people.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 3:12,
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Repeating other people's mistakes is a bit pointless, yes.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:08,
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which other people are out doing, and which you don't really need, but which nevertheless don't prey on your mind. Golf, say. This implies that you think, intuitively, that love and sex are worthwhile. Incidentally a person doesn't really need to be alive; "need" relates (in different contexts) to some kind of set of things that you just want, ultimately just because you're attracted to them. (You can get the whole of morality out of this if you try.)
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:54,
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The reason there are there will be primarily to do with the fact that I wanted them at some stage earlier in my life, and to take my new analytical lifestyle and regect the fact I want/wanted them would be a pretty shitty start to an analytical life. So I have to accept that I want them, but then constantly worry about the fact that I can't have them and if not having them at all is too brash a choice.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:02,
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or is the "analytical lifestyle" a thing?
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:11,
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Yes I don't think I could even begin to, just the idea of rejecting all known assumption, opinion or ideas is a good start though.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:26,
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hen it could od the opposite. you gotta jump into the fire sometimes.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 2:12,
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any more time than any other fucking about. Some people are surprisingly undemanding and sympathetic.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:30,
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if you go into a relationship and you are secure and happy within yourself and the other person is, it's just a thing of expierencing and sharing and not taking and noone has any demands then because what happens is only a plus thing to your life.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:42,
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Unless you are writing this while inadvertently chained in a dungeon or something. I can see how that might interfere with doing science.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:02,
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And if he doesn't, serves him right.
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:31,
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and this happened.

Click for bigger and clearer
I also did this version of it
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:15,
archived)

Click for bigger and clearer
I also did this version of it

If I act more like mohafa, THEN SHE WILL BE MINE!
MUAHAhahahaha..ha..haa.ah"
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:27,
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MUAHAhahahaha..ha..haa.ah"

I just think mofaha's pictures are fantastic and want to make things similarly.
Failing miserably, but oh well.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:28,
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Failing miserably, but oh well.

Whenever I try, it looks nothing like his stuff.
It's only when it's an accident that it works?
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:17,
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It's only when it's an accident that it works?

But I think I'm out of patterned clothes. All I have left is a stripey Placebo shirt. Maybe a plaid skirt. I dunno. :[
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:32,
archived)

That makes the pictures better because there are fewer of them.
I was talking to some people on dA, and it seems your friends already know me :P
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:36,
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I was talking to some people on dA, and it seems your friends already know me :P

Edit: But the letter was nothing to do with b3ta, was it?
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:38,
archived)

I have to do the craft show again tomorrow. And the place it's at doesn't have wi-fi otherwise I'd bring mum's laptop and go on b3ta.Instead of making dull conversations with old ladies interested in buying neck tie purses.
How was yours?
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:54,
archived)
How was yours?

I spent the day at dad's pissing about with the computers, it was like being an IT technician for the day.
We fixed my fan, so now my computer doesn't keep crashing, I got a new mouse, we set up a network so I can access my desktop at my dad's house now, and now I'm sitting here talking to my favourite people :)
Tomorrow I am going to PC World to have a look at laptops, and on tuesday I am walking into town after school to apply for a job :]
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:57,
archived)
We fixed my fan, so now my computer doesn't keep crashing, I got a new mouse, we set up a network so I can access my desktop at my dad's house now, and now I'm sitting here talking to my favourite people :)
Tomorrow I am going to PC World to have a look at laptops, and on tuesday I am walking into town after school to apply for a job :]

So hooray! ^.^
Walking into town? Aw, that sounds so...quaint. Hahah. I wish I could walk into town. xp
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:58,
archived)
Walking into town? Aw, that sounds so...quaint. Hahah. I wish I could walk into town. xp

I just need to walk down the hill, across the bridge and up the pedestrian street. The bookshop is right at the top :)
I spent a week there for work experience, so they know I'm capable. I was quite excited, and I think I acted too sillily, so that might lessen my chances, but I'll definately settle down anyway, so there you go.
Two of their employees are moving away soon, so they'll be understaffed for summer, you see.
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:01,
archived)
I spent a week there for work experience, so they know I'm capable. I was quite excited, and I think I acted too sillily, so that might lessen my chances, but I'll definately settle down anyway, so there you go.
Two of their employees are moving away soon, so they'll be understaffed for summer, you see.

I hope you get the job. Though it means less you on b3ta. ;[
I'm going to eat dinner now. Bye bye, dear. *hugs*
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:07,
archived)
I'm going to eat dinner now. Bye bye, dear. *hugs*

And you're on later, so I'll be finished by the time you're around!
It won't interfere much, I promise.
Enjoy your meal :)
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Sun 9 Mar 2008, 1:10,
archived)
It won't interfere much, I promise.
Enjoy your meal :)

That means a lot :)
Edit: And I swear that I wasn't even TRYING this time. :P
( ,
Sun 9 Mar 2008, 0:44,
archived)
Edit: And I swear that I wasn't even TRYING this time. :P
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