When he starts with taxing the poor and giving bonuses to the rich it won't be his nose that will be growing
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:53,
archived)
Very good at this end, thanks.
thanks.What happened to the weather eh?
That's what I want to know...
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:48,
archived)
That's what I want to know...
Reality TV maths
Click for bigger (62 kb)
A thought from the weekend.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:24,
archived)
Click for bigger (62 kb)
A thought from the weekend.
as was i
and i can confirm your watching as you tweeted about it.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:34,
archived)
i like the comfy waiting area you have installed opposite the house
it makes all night stakeouts much easier.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 12:07,
archived)
It was nice to see the comedy parts interspersed with turns by Tim Minchin
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:35,
archived)
Aw
I like Tim Minchin. F Sharp is not his best. Not perfect is one of my favourite songs. I liked the opening song he did dressed as the critic. When he turns is hand to songs that aren't courting controversy you see how clever he can be lyrically.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:44,
archived)
who
got caught out by the lyrics
A couple of Gs, an R and an E, an I and an N
Just six little letters all jumbled together
Have caused damage that we may never mend
And it's important that we all respect
That if these people should happen to choose
To reclaim the word as their own
It doesn't meant the rest of you have a right to it's use
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 13:10,
archived)
A couple of Gs, an R and an E, an I and an N
Just six little letters all jumbled together
Have caused damage that we may never mend
And it's important that we all respect
That if these people should happen to choose
To reclaim the word as their own
It doesn't meant the rest of you have a right to it's use
Spamming this again
www.b3ta.com/board/10435628
I don't have shares in this, honest! It's just an excellent read
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:38,
archived)
I don't have shares in this, honest! It's just an excellent read
Does this mean you are getting a takeaway tonight?
If so then I have done my duty.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:48,
archived)
I would have done...
...but Mrs Ninj has made a smashing chilli :)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:49,
archived)
BRAW!!!
Is she wearing a smashing blouse to go with that Smashing Chilli?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:54,
archived)
Exactly what kind of smashing blouse goes with a smashing chili?
A brown one with kidney beans for buttons?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:00,
archived)
Magnificent!
Woo, Yay, Hooplah...
PANOWIE!
*clicks*
*prints*
*...*
*profits*
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:52,
archived)
PANOWIE!
*clicks*
*prints*
*...*
*profits*
Woo!
*Votes Indian Takeaway* Best of all the takeaway foodses.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:54,
archived)
Thats the next stage in the decision making process!
Curry, Chinese, PIzza, Fried Chicken, Thai, Kebab.... hmmm
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:55,
archived)
oooh I have never had a takeaway italian!
Any others I have missed for the next one?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:58,
archived)
How on earth could I overlook Fish and Chips.
And curried goat ftw!
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:10,
archived)
what is this *phone* you speak of?
*goes to order over the web*
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:55,
archived)
The best Chinese & curry places round here aren't on t'web *cries a little*
so we still have to struggle with people who don't speak English over the phone.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:11,
archived)
To be fair,
by the time I decide to call for a curry, I'm usually struggling to speak English over the phone myself.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:21,
archived)
Living in very rural rural-country-ness
an added option should be: has your only takeaway emporium recently stricken 30 people with explosive-projectile vomiting and Fecal urgency?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:57,
archived)
It adds an air of "risk" to proceedings
that you don't normally get ordering from Dominos.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:59,
archived)
Argh!
I'm stuck in an eternal coin tossing loop!
No food and my wrist hurts.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:09,
archived)
No food and my wrist hurts.
This is excellent -
I'm glad you didn't post it at about 8pm last night though :)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:15,
archived)
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:47,
archived)
Ha!
His popularity would increase exponentially.
Splendid as every you clever sod
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:33,
archived)
Splendid as every you clever sod
No, he's taken out the unnaturally moist dog's ringpiece,
and 'shopped in an actual human mouth.
I dunno, eh? some people are just twisted.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:58,
archived)
I dunno, eh? some people are just twisted.
Yeah, that's what I thought
He probably couldn't bear the thought of all the dogpoo that pours out of Cameron's facial orifice.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:01,
archived)
I'd recently noticed a distinct lack of politicians on /board lately....then,as if by magic.......nicely done :D:D
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:03,
archived)
no reason, except you probably need a good pointing at
and she needs the exercise
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:06,
archived)
could have been worse
(rosie o'donnel)
actually (ellen degeneres)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:10,
archived)
actually (ellen degeneres)
Photorealfantastico
Didn't you do a cartoon version of this many years ago? Not disparaging your current effort just checking to see if the little grey cells are working
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 8:47,
archived)
not that I know of
I only saw Jahled's photo on Facebook this morning
then saw the thread further down after I'd posted >.< :D
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 8:51,
archived)
then saw the thread further down after I'd posted >.< :D
We're talking over 5 years ago I think. I shouldn't even be able to say that I've been here over 5 years
Yours is much better. Although, I spent ages watching & waiting for the money shot.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 8:57,
archived)
I can't remember yesterday
ask herman, he has a photographic memory of everything everyone's ever posted :D
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 9:12,
archived)
cool
I think this was a challenge about a millions years ago. Definitely time for another outing. Those inanimate objects are getting desperate for some action
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:47,
archived)
2004!
www.b3ta.com/challenge/inanimatesex/
Although I'm suggesting things that look like they're doing rude things, more than make a carrot wank off some broccoli :D
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 11:02,
archived)
Although I'm suggesting things that look like they're doing rude things, more than make a carrot wank off some broccoli :D
NINGLES B3TA!
A couple of funny birthdays today; Buddy Hackett and Lee Bryant (from Airplane).
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 7:48,
archived)
and for some reason Kitty Fantastico requested Richard Gere and a hamster?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 7:48,
archived)
awww hammy looks like he just woke up in a dress
what are you doing to me richard gere, you are not even in the navy
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 12:01,
archived)
what are you doing to me richard gere, you are not even in the navy
Oirish Cawfee! (Herbie)
The watch! The witch was watching a mirror and was singing with a stolen set of pipes! DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M TELLING YOU!? THE PRINCE IS MARRYING THE SEAWITCH IN DISGUISE! (Little Mermaid)
God, I love Buddy Hackett!
WOOYAY!
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 8:51,
archived)
God, I love Buddy Hackett!
WOOYAY!
and the first member of his elite troop of commando parrots
THIS SHIT AIN'T OVER
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 6:02,
archived)
If he can hold cover for a week more...
he'll be able to mop up the civil war already in progress with a parrot.
SHIT HASN'T EVEN HIT THE FANS IMO
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 6:21,
archived)
SHIT HASN'T EVEN HIT THE FANS IMO
Contribution to my mum's community art project #4
(in brief: 10x10 "jigsaw" of small pictures done by whatever 'community' nutter wants to wander in off the street. And me.)
#3:
www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/beryl.jpg
#2:
www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/come_on_bus_opt.jpg
#1:
www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/girlwithasilverscowl_optimised.jpg
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:19,
archived)
(in brief: 10x10 "jigsaw" of small pictures done by whatever 'community' nutter wants to wander in off the street. And me.)
#3:
www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/beryl.jpg
#2:
www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/come_on_bus_opt.jpg
#1:
www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/girlwithasilverscowl_optimised.jpg
I liked the one with the magic eggs that turned out to be dinosaurs
SPOILER ALERT
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:24,
archived)
SPOILER ALERT
we only had three of those books at home
oddly I don't recall reading any of the others elsewhere
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:35,
archived)
100. 10 by 10.
They're pre-sawed bits of MDF, 6-9" x 6-9", (all numbered - the above was no.21), roughly pre-coated with white emulsion paint. They'll all fit neatly together in the end.
If you'd like to produce one, I'll happily pop one in the post - although the deadline is in just over a fortnight, so it might involve swift action.
Mind you, I've never taken more than 10 minutes over a picture myself, as I'm sure is obvious ;)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:48,
archived)
If you'd like to produce one, I'll happily pop one in the post - although the deadline is in just over a fortnight, so it might involve swift action.
Mind you, I've never taken more than 10 minutes over a picture myself, as I'm sure is obvious ;)
That would be fun
but I don't reckon we could be sure to make the deadline. Sometimes stuff arrives quickly, other times it takes ages.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:59,
archived)
Idea:
I've got the blank no 26 here.
I'll photograph it, with an indication of scale, GAZ you a link to it, and you can do a pic to the shape, which I can print off, cut out and glue to the piece.
(btw: it's all supposed to be family-friendly, which doesn't necessarily rule out grotesquerie, but does rule out swearing, p0rn, NSFW etc)
Also, any kids around there are very welcome to contribute.
Deal?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 4:04,
archived)
I'll photograph it, with an indication of scale, GAZ you a link to it, and you can do a pic to the shape, which I can print off, cut out and glue to the piece.
(btw: it's all supposed to be family-friendly, which doesn't necessarily rule out grotesquerie, but does rule out swearing, p0rn, NSFW etc)
Also, any kids around there are very welcome to contribute.
Deal?
This has echoes of de Sade and Le Grand Bouffe, you sophisticatid bastad
Judge, General, Priest and Banker, making themselves secure in a castle in order to conduct the whole gamut of transgressions, from the grossest imaginable to the ones that only then become imaginable.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:04,
archived)
Yes I did the catering for that.
It was cubes of cheese and pineapple, stuck into a potato wrapped in aluminum foil.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:37,
archived)
Now that's my kind of transgression.
*spoons Thousand Island dressing into unconvincing brassiere before tottering down to dismal "Disco!" -themed disco*
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:54,
archived)
YES I AM BACK THANK YOU FOR THE WELCOME YES I NEARLY DIED FROM BEING SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCED
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 2:23,
archived)
Yeah I'm pretty much hanging on to my stuff for now
but who knows, perhaps there'll be a light snowfall in the Winter that finishes off all the New Jersey hurricane survivors.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 2:46,
archived)
*returns Gok and the Penguins*
*awaits January*
(welcome back to the land of the empowered)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:03,
archived)
(welcome back to the land of the empowered)
You know what they say, Rap.
When life gives you lemons, fuck an old man in the face.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 2:52,
archived)
I'm puckering as I type this.
It's always good to be reminded that Lemon Party exists. You know, with Dick Cheney in the news, lemons are refreshing.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 2:42,
archived)
Everybody wants to be a cat. Because a cat's the only cat that knows where it's at.
(Hmmm. It's not appearing as a pic here. Is this something to do with the little envelope icon in the top left corner which I couldn't erase, yet doesn't appear in the linked pic?
Some kind of intellectual property/DRM thing? *confused*)
EDIT: Thanks, llort, for providing the (hopefully) short-term answer to this anomaly.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 1:34,
archived)
Some kind of intellectual property/DRM thing? *confused*)
EDIT: Thanks, llort, for providing the (hopefully) short-term answer to this anomaly.
where it says shift, hold down shift while you type the next character (in this case a comma and a stop)
If you see what I mean. I can't just type the html here, cos then it show the picture instead of the html. Obviously.
shift,img src="http://www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/aristocats2.jpg" /shift.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 2:31,
archived)
shift,img src="http://www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/aristocats2.jpg" /shift.
teh uplaod codez
<img src="http://www.b3tards.com/u/9942169dd61c1e88c8cb/aristocats2.jpg">
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 2:51,
archived)
I was going to do an animated version
of the famous Aristocrat/Aristocat joke. I got all the elements together then started disgusting myself. It just went on too long..so I didn't.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 10:22,
archived)
I heard him mumble that once while licking himself
(but that was only once)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:53,
archived)
Huh? What? Right. Uhh.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aGTNS13SDU (language advisory)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 3:11,
archived)
Looks can only get you so far. Wise heads always look carefully at their supply chain.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:39,
archived)
I'm not concerned about dick,
but we need that AIDs, like, yesterday!
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:46,
archived)
AIDS could be as big as it was in the eighties,
it just needs marketing right.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 1:00,
archived)
It's show time!!!
now why haven't our military planners considered this?
so what if we sacrifice a little innocent latex for the cause
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:29,
archived)
so what if we sacrifice a little innocent latex for the cause
Have a thingumewhatsit
Detail:
3DMax vray. About 25min rendertime at 1600x1000
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:14,
archived)
Detail:
3DMax vray. About 25min rendertime at 1600x1000
Nice, it it real photo sunday already?
Just kidding, is it part of a bigger picture?
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:55,
archived)
There was a zoomed in version
but this one was a shot at rendering close up. :)
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 1:07,
archived)
It's moving? The paralizing beam must have drifted off target again.
*wanders out and kicks at the sun*
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:13,
archived)
heheh
yes, he's shut in the bedroom at night, this contains the nocturnal hijinks adequately
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:23,
archived)
yes, he's shut in the bedroom at night, this contains the nocturnal hijinks adequately
SPONGEE: Checks, Lies and Videotape
A cult favourite documentary about the cult favourite sport of sponge hockey, played by 10,000 obsessed fans in -30C weather in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
It tells the story of the sport and a man, who, after the humiliation of being traded for a bag of pucks, suspects that he may have lost a championship because the other side used a performance-enhancing substance - WD-40.
It's all true. Also, I made this.
SPONGEE: Checks Lies and Videotape - The Director's Cut from Dougald Lamont on Vimeo.
( ,
Tue 30 Aug 2011, 23:59,
archived)
It tells the story of the sport and a man, who, after the humiliation of being traded for a bag of pucks, suspects that he may have lost a championship because the other side used a performance-enhancing substance - WD-40.
It's all true. Also, I made this.
SPONGEE: Checks Lies and Videotape - The Director's Cut from Dougald Lamont on Vimeo.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/
May get better reception mate :)
I guess the raping starts here
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:03,
archived)
I guess the raping starts here
His bum hole must have sold out like
this
Clicked on Bolivia like an infant
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:16,
archived)
Clicked on Bolivia like an infant
You want /links maaaan
www.b3ta.com/links/
Post it there and then crack your fingers and slide back in your chair.
( ,
Wed 31 Aug 2011, 0:04,
archived)
Post it there and then crack your fingers and slide back in your chair.
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