There's something very funny happening in the financial world right now.
Quick summary:
1. Big wall Street firms shorted GameStop, expecting their value to fall
2. A load of redditors on r/WallStreetBets saw this, and started pouring in investments to raise the stock price to screw over the Wall Street investors, possibly for fun.
3. This has snowballed, and now billions of imaginary dollars are basically on fire. Enjoy the show.
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 28 Jan 2021, 0:06,
Reply)
The boaty mcboatface of share investment.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 1:18,
Reply)
had a mate I met on my travels. became a day trader, built up a nice nest egg
lost most of it in three days shorting some stock he was convinced would go down and got caught on the margin call. lost the rest on a depressive drunken bender that followed. rang me to talk him out of offing himself. moved back in with his mum whom he detests, and he now works as a cleaner. there's probably a moral in there somewhere, there usually is when things work out so shit
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 3:54,
Reply)
this was 3 or four years back, had two mates contact me in the few months both talking about suicide.
not sure why they chose me to chat, but they aint the sort of calls you can fob off. perhaps because I was far away. The other mate it was mental health, his career and family all were going well. He mentioned in one call that the only time he didn't have black thoughts going through his mind was when he was cycling, so being a regular fucking carl jung I told him to do more of that. he went a bit overboard and it became his lycra life, but at least he eventually stopped thinking about running the exhaust back into the car.
Anyway, the short selling link put me in mind of that mate, and it's nice to bear in mind that it's probably those sort of wannabee day traders and not big firm who these reddit guys are actually victimising, though it is quite funny nonetheless. I'd ban short selling, like it was banned in yesteryear. It doesn't add any value to society or to companies, it's just a casino giving you a line of credit
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 8:40,
Reply)
I hate the concept
Betting on failure seems evil.
At least with actual shares, if you fuck up, usually you can just sit tight and wait for it to go up again.
Might take years, might not get all of it back...
But better than the croupier sliding all your failed shorts into the bin.
(, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 8:55, Reply)
Exactly
It seems a mechanism designed to abuse.
Buy lots of share X, price of share X goes up, short lots of share X then straight away sell your large amount of share X, price goes down, so you make money on the rise and the fall.
The money comes from somewhere, and usually it means some real person just lost their savings.
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:04,
Reply)
That's the other side of this. Those hedge funds aren't just using the money of billionaires, they're often heavily invested in by pension plans.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:40,
Reply)
I would seriously hope that my pension isn’t invested in such risky ventures.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:49,
Reply)
My company's pension partner talks to us quite a lot about this.
They regularly ask us about our attitude to our pension investments, asking us if we're interested in a high-risk, or low-risk model, and such in-between.
It's definitely a conversation worth having with your pension provider.
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 28 Jan 2021, 15:51,
Reply)
pffft, course not, would they risk that just for money?
Yes
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 16:04,
Reply)
I don't know why they chose you either. I doubt either could get a word in edge ways, you verbose twat.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:51,
Reply)
I used to find it odd that you kept jumping into these threads, but I now understand you can only work up the courage to insult me if prufock's already got in a tizzy enough to blurt out some attempt
I imagine meeting you two IRL, prufock on his mobility scooter and you chirping up behind him "yeah, a twat!" before ducking back again, while his case worker looks at his watch
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 23:09,
Reply)
don't worry, it's not a problem you'll ever face
sneeringly unlikable pretentious thickos don't have friends. That's why they seek conflict on the internet as it's the only attention they can get
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 21:27,
Reply)
You should volunteer at The Samaritans.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 21:56,
Reply)
like they told you at christmas over the phone
I feel by prolonging this conversation I'm tying up resources that could go to someone more deserving
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 23:18,
Reply)
I have really tried to understand what's going on here
but no joy yet. I think it would take a total brain re-wiring.
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Thu 28 Jan 2021, 8:39,
Reply)
Someone has just described it as being like the end of Trading Places
I have no idea what is going on but I' loving it.
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Thu 28 Jan 2021, 9:03,
Reply)
There's an explanatory image doing the rounds on Twitter, thank fuck (otherwise I'd have no idea)
Linky.
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 28 Jan 2021, 9:30,
Reply)
Thanks, I was just about to post that, and now I feel stuffed with brain pie.
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Thu 28 Jan 2021, 9:41,
Reply)
Imagine taking out a loan from a bank, then going to the casino with it, hoping you can make more than you borrowed, thus making a profit, before paying the bank back.
but you fuck it up at the casino, and still have to pay the bank back.
It's like that, but the bank is a company, the loan is stock in that company, and the casino is the company's reputation in the stock market.
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:13,
Reply)
No, I meant that I vaguely grasp the concept,
but that picture was such a badly written wall of terrible grammar and gratuitous emojis that it actually decreased my powers of comprehension.
(, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:17, Reply)
I remember fucking dying
the first time I heard "but only because you landed in somebody's stomach."
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 28 Jan 2021, 10:34,
Reply)
Supposedly the UK edition
of that website and yet they are unable to spell "centre" and used "proved" when they should've used "proven"
FUCK THOSE CUNTS!
CUNT THEM IN THE FUCK! (copyright beeter 1978)
(, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:08, Reply)
Are you getting angry at poor sub editing on The Grauniad?
That’s like getting irritated by the sun rising in the morning.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:47,
Reply)
Bloody sun...
comin' over 'ere
shining on us and making it all warm...
enabling life to flourish...
(, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 16:47, Reply)
I do still like the Guardian Website
But it's being filled more and more with complete and utter horseshite.
(
Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:35,
Reply)
Decent adam driver impression
twitter not auto previewing
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 21:45,
Reply)
but Suvrad Go Nad
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 8:50,
Reply)
Have a Love Sausage
With Cheese on the side. Yum
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 21:30,
Reply)
How about a grilled cheese glazed donut?
You can goatsee and eat it out at disneyland
mickeyblog.com/2021/01/21/a-grilled-cheese-sandwich-like-no-other-has-cropped-up-at-everglazed/
(
unclepills, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 21:42,
Reply)
My heart got diabetes just looking at that.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 1:15,
Reply)
Two gigantic maggots with avocado salad.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 1:16,
Reply)
That reminds me
Must get some ointment
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Fri 29 Jan 2021, 0:59,
Reply)
Remarkable Voice Synth/Treatment device called the Soma Pipe
Possibly the trippiest equipment demo ever.
(I'm off to start a cold-calling business)
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Wed 27 Jan 2021, 19:50,
Reply)
450 Euros, + p&p
and now we are out of the EU, add customs charges, VAT, etc.
Some great sounds coming out of that machine, but mark my words: That is the next hipster ukulele.
(
Varmint, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 20:08,
Reply)
True
Or that fucking metal drum thing.
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Thu 28 Jan 2021, 8:46,
Reply)
if you reverse the polarity
does it become an asthma pump?
(
claptonista ,the idiot boy..........🫥, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 20:39,
Reply)
Don’t care about the instrument,
Was just thinking “I wish they hadn’t put all that interference over the Mandelbrot Set zoom”
(Anyone else who thought the same - “Playing With Chaos” by Keith Peters is a great little kindle book for writing a browser based fractal zoom)
(
Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 21:51,
Reply)
WHERE'S THE ICE CREAM?
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 17:40,
Reply)
Chinese defecators should be offered arsylum
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 19:05,
Reply)
Tester... Ready!
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 19:13,
Reply)
This would probably be funnier if...
... pretty much *exactly* this thing hadn't already been done, nine years ago, and by an actual politician.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlTggc0uBA8
I remember reading an interview with the bloke asking Milliband the questions that day, and he said something like it being almost like being in a dream while it was happening, and then 30 minutes after it was over wishing he'd thought fast enough to say "Mr. Milliband, do you think these strikes are wrong at a time negotiations are still going on and do you think they should put aside the rhetoric..." etc. - i.e. feed ALL of his prepared bullshit straight back to him word for word as a question. Esprit d'escalier.
(, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 15:44, Reply)
Same songbook, but quite different songs.
Howard was trying to avoid answering a potentially career ending question, while 'reckless and provocative manner' was the soundbite that Miliband was attempting to force the news to carry.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 18:47,
Reply)
My favourite part is when he says they should get round the negotiating table, put aside the rhetoric, and stop this kind of thing from happening again.
(, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 20:48, Reply)
did you threaten to overrule him?
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 8:54,
Reply)
Brown, May, Miliband, Starmer
All looked like the minute they become party leader, someone stuck an earpiece in and they stood like a rabbit in the headlights scared shitless of answering even the most basic question.
Didn't look human again until the moment they stood down.
(, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 21:14, Reply)
They should have
swapped the actresses who played Cheryl and Diane because Diane looks more like a mom, and Cheryl looks more like her friend who is having more fun, and is on another level IMO.
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 13:04,
Reply)
I was thinking I wouldn't leave Cheryl for Diane.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 13:16,
Reply)
Dad should just be bloody grateful.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 15:06,
Reply)
Never mind Cheryl and Diane, check out his "friend" Mila
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g88BqRre6U4
(
Varmint, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 14:11,
Reply)
Diane is the current voice of Squirrel Girl, Milana Vayntrub
(
Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 18:15,
Reply)
Brood X periodical cicadas, underground for 17 years, ready to reemerge
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 9:43,
Reply)
And what exactly have these cicadas got against South Carolina?
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 17:14,
Reply)
SC's next cicada emergence is in 2024 (Brood XIX which is on a 13 yr cycle)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Periodical_cicadas#Broods
Insert comment about Trump's re-emergence
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 19:15,
Reply)
I was going to say something inaccurate about a plague of locusts but I’ve had enough about plagues.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 19:29,
Reply)
Yeah.....
THE X FILES blew that case wide open !!!
(
claptonista ,the idiot boy..........🫥, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 20:38,
Reply)
The Horne Section perform my song
I made this!
I *sort of* made this. Last year I was listening to the very excellent Horne section podcast, and I thought of a joke/song. I told it to some friends, who mainly gave me long, hard stares. I didn't care, I loved it.
I use Twitter on average about once every couple of years. I used 2020's go to Tweet my idea @AlexHorne. Incredibly, he not only tweeted back within minutes, but he said he liked it and could he use it in the podcast? There's only one answer to that... YES!
(, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 8:58, Reply)
That's very silly
have a well-earned click
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 10:08,
Reply)
That was fucking ace!
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 15:04,
Reply)
Excellent work by all involved.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 17:20,
Reply)
Goodnight all
QTV Closedown Tuesday 26th Jan
(
buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 3:56,
Reply)
Dammit these are spot on....
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 8:13,
Reply)
I was expecting a 'number station' to start up.
Strange metal instrument looks real.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 14:30,
Reply)
Busking ZZ Top - La Grange
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 0:38,
Reply)
That's what you get when you search for "cutest little girl" is it?
(
Varmint, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 8:59,
Reply)
How to derail a train
Not as easy as you'd think.
(
Tusk knows where you live, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 23:06,
Reply)
Now that's in my history, I'm going to end up on a watch list aren't I?
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 0:32,
Reply)
Since you both have an account on B3ta
You're already on all the lists.
(
Tusk knows where you live, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 0:40,
Reply)
You can always claim you were searching for ways to deal with a rail infestation on your train
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 9:45,
Reply)
Big mistake, they used explosives. Now some wet leaves on the line that could really disrupt the rail service.
(, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 12:29, Reply)
Like a stoat-cat chimera
Convergent adaptation strikes again.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 23:02,
Reply)
That could take your finger off.
They should get it some silver vine sticks.
(
Tusk knows where you live, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 23:10,
Reply)
Not tried it on my cats yet.
Just like catnip/mint it is a mosquito repellant.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 0:26,
Reply)
I've got a new visiting cat who looks like a cross between a tabby and an owl
It sings (UurrrrrowWOWwowrowrororororororowaowaow) and it eats birdfood, so its a bit daft.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 14:10,
Reply)
I like vocal cats.
As for birdfood, they will sometimes eat dried mealworms.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 14:21,
Reply)
Well, that was confusing
(
Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 22:42,
Reply)
Who'd have thought it?
"we didn't have kids but we had seven dogs together.""
(, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 15:00, Reply)
Seems like a lot of effort to go to for just £1500.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 18:06,
Reply)
must have been a good shag
Qetesh resurrected.
And yes, she does need to lay off the pies.
I would suggest 1500€ of pies, but that would be cruel.
(, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 8:50, Reply)
She might have been a great shag.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 19:27,
Reply)
I wouldn't do it for less than five camels
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 4:02,
Reply)
"Why am I to old and to fat?"
Well love, the first is your age and the second is your diet in combination with your lack of exercise.
Not surprised your husband didn't want to have sex with you for the last 10 years.
On top of that, you seem like an idiot.
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 22:48,
Reply)
looks and weight aren't important, you shallow silly man
the question is "can she generate enough suction to pull a golf ball up a foot of garden hose?". all else are just superficial things
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 4:07,
Reply)
You've got big balls haven't you?
those aren't my balls, that's my adam's apple - you're very good at this.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 13:54,
Reply)
The important question.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 16:31,
Reply)
Apparently you don't need to have language or reasoning skills to be a teacher in Egypt.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 14:18,
Reply)
Stories like this always remind me of
Adam Buxton's Grazia calypso, which never fails to cheer me up.
(
monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 23:30,
Reply)
His cannon of works is full of cheer and joy
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 9:31,
Reply)
If he's 24 then so am I.
Jusus he looks older than I do now, and I'm over 40 and a smoker.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 14:12,
Reply)
Mahoosive Ships for a mahoosive day.
GC can taint my taint
(
slartifartfast When all around are losing their heads, duck., Tue 26 Jan 2021, 14:54,
Reply)
Crikey you're flaming old, congratulations
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Tue 26 Jan 2021, 16:00,
Reply)
Mega ultra candles day!!
(
Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 17:44,
Reply)
Is your MP a prick?
Ron's Eel.
(
Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 14:20,
Reply)
to be fair
a lot of labour MPs are pricks too
but for different reasons
(, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 14:48, Reply)
There does seem to be a strong correlation.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 16:50,
Reply)
My MP is great
she's a good laugh, works hard and whatever side of the political spectrum you're on you'd have to concede she represents her constituents well.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 13:53,
Reply)
Mine is a six thumbs down prick.
But I happen to know those 6 thumbs are just scratching the epidermis of the foreskin of prickishness of my utterly insane tory MP.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 16:37,
Reply)
Mine gets seven
But your description eloquently saves me having to write one!
ismympaprick.co.uk/mp/philip-davies
(
tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 17:55,
Reply)
Yes, well...
All Sinn Féin MPs are not pricks according to this...
(
Thrill_My_Chinchilla is old and unimproved, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 19:13,
Reply)
Due to lack of information.
(
FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 19:31,
Reply)
They don’t go to parliament, much less vote on things
At the risk of pissing on the GFA the DUP are pricks of the highest order.
(
jonbob loves you, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 21:44,
Reply)
There are fine fucking pricks on both sides.
(
brb man-child cuck corporate supplicant fuck, Wed 27 Jan 2021, 17:12,
Reply)
rebillet.mp3
I made this!
A quick fart I made as a tribute to Marc Rebillet. Let's hope he hears it
(
c_kick or, as some people call him, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 10:33,
Reply)
I like this very VERY much indeed
and will be playing it a lot thanks.
*goes off to Google Marc Rebillet*
(
fred zeppelin (Taylor's version), Tue 26 Jan 2021, 11:38,
Reply)
haha cheers!
You will not be disappointed by Marc.
(
c_kick or, as some people call him, Tue 26 Jan 2021, 12:22,
Reply)
« Older links | Newer links »