I have made some recipes
I made this!
Hello All!
Been a while since I posted, had some peeps die etc... so just getting back into the swing of shit recently...
hope you all well...
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 11:14, Reply)
depends
in the countryside they eat rats
wouldn't recommend eating a soho pigeon.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 12:12, Reply)
the pigeon one looks marvellous
Like something Keith Floyd might do
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 12:20, Reply)
BOOZE
It's the secret ingredient that just keeps on fucking giving.
Next recipes are: Slow Cooked Ribs/ MOLE / ENCHILADAS. (Mexican vibe)
I like cooking, so I'm going to film some more of it innit.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 12:21, Reply)
I've tried doing all that fancy stuff with the slow cooker and wasnt very impressed
Everything came out tasting more or less the same. It's good for stews and soups mind. I have a load of beef shin in the fridge right now waiting to go in
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 12:40, Reply)
I was always a proponent of slow cookers for soups and stews.
I've now realised that pressure cookers take a fraction of the time, with better results. This is also true for braising meats.
(
The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 20:54,
Reply)
Think you shit smart? Think again rube...
So smart toilets are a thing. 🚽 Soon you’ll be able to run your entire house right from your throne. Water efficiency checks, auto deodorization, heated seat, drying functionality, ambient lighting, in-built speakers to play music to deaden the fall...
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ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 10:49,
Reply)
how about a bomb drop and explosion sound effect?
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HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 10:55,
Reply)
I'd probably just blast Scatman John
Bit of Ring of Fire for the post kebab/vindaloo
I think Sandstorm by Darude would be good for the runs
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ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 11:03,
Reply)
These things have been around for ages in Japan. I spent three weeks there and I crapped in more smart toilets than dumb ones.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 11:49,
Reply)
I'd like mine to drop through a laser grid like the bit in Resident Evil when that blokes gets diced.
Would be much easier for them to fit round the u-bend then.
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Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 12:46,
Reply)
Dad photoshops his kids drawings etc etc
Some quality photoshopping here
(
RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 7:18,
Reply)
The only thing good about The Gallery was the music
The pictures were wank, horse wank
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simbosan is too tired, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 7:36,
Reply)
And yet my lovingly rendered 'Robot' was never featured
How wank it must have been :(
(
TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 9:05,
Reply)
I hate to be the one to break it to you
(or take malicious pleasure)
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simbosan is too tired, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 9:59,
Reply)
Nice tune. I can get you loads of Novichok if you want some?
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Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 21:52,
Reply)
Lol.
I used to have loads of the stuff but I didn't really have much use for it, so I threw it all out about a year ago. Funny story, the local tip said they didn't take stockpiles of WMDs, so I was a bit cheeky and just tossed it out of my car on the way through Wiltshire.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2019, 17:52, Reply)
Ding Ding! Here comes the Shitmobile
www.iambetterthanyourkids.com/?p=10
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hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 14:40,
Reply)
to be honest most kids could make a better website
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simbosan is too tired, Tue 29 Jan 2019, 4:56,
Reply)
not true for all kids. my kids are ace at drawing.
my son, 11 years old, is drawing at A-Level standard according to his art teacher.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 15:15, Reply)
Maybe the world has made me a cynic
But about half of them looked like they were drawn by a graphic designer.
(
gaijintendo Regular Member, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 8:12,
Reply)
Yeah, he said that when he said "kids".
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 9:45,
Reply)
Isn't there a smart AI-enabled fridge that already does this?
You may ask how the drawings get attached to the door. Well, it must be magnets, shitty magnets.
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 8:56,
Reply)
Direct link, avoiding the content theft -
www.instagram.com/thingsihavedrawn/
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monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 10:06,
Reply)
Hard to follow up an equine knob cheese post
But have a woman blowing the crap out her clarinet!
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simbosan is too tired, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 23:11,
Reply)
Very talented!
Amazing how some musicians become almost possessed by their music. I think it's proof you're born with that gift of music.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 19:16, Reply)
Awesome
IMHO it could only have been improved had the conductor calmly turned round and shot, to the beat, each member of the audience (with a silencer, of course), who decided it was appropriate to clap along.
Some say I have extreme views about this kind of thing.
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tarka_dall Like normal dall, only a bit more spicy, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 19:39,
Reply)
Extreme but quite correct.
There's a special circle of hell for those who applaud mid-performance.
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jonbob loves you, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 22:17,
Reply)
"Mercedes has even been approached by a museum in Battlesbridge interested in displaying her beans."
Any Job is an Honorable Job.
Meet the 'Sheath Queen' who cleans horse's genitals for a living
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buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 20:34,
Reply)
Yes
she must do rather
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buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 21:34,
Reply)
No wonder she does it if she finds coins in there each time...!
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 22:14,
Reply)
What?! I'd want more than 50p!
Maybe they were hoping for a happy ending.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 23:47,
Reply)
horses don't have pillows so the teeth have to be put somewhere else when they fall out
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 0:34, Reply)
"Sometimes the horses enjoy it so much that their bottom lip starts to wobble."
I'm sure they do.
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 3:11,
Reply)
condensation animation
I made this!
Saw this in an old dirty window. the figure is made from peoples breadths
(, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 12:32, Reply)
The lengths some people will go to...
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 14:16,
Reply)
Check out this fucker
In November John Timbrell pleaded not guilty to obstructing a police officer in Mitcheldean – despite freely admitting in court that he obstructed a police officer.
The 76-year-old told Cheltenham Magistrates’ Court a police arrest warrant is “fraudulent” if it does not have a wet seal.
Timbrell then described the officers as “badly trained dummies” who do not know the difference between ‘lawful’ and ‘legal’.
“Your rights as a police officer do not give you the authority to break common law,” he told PS Freeman.
“The fact a living man can refuse jurisdiction from a court is not known to many police officers.”
Timbrell then described the legal system as the “illegal system”.
Giving evidence to the court, PC Varden said: “I didn’t know what he was on about.”
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Zuowan, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 11:19,
Reply)
Ah, the old Freeman of the Land defence
Amazing how many times people try and use it given that it doesn't work.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 12:11,
Reply)
Being arrested by someone called Freeman is a nice touch, you have to admit.
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 18:16,
Reply)
stupid bastard
Anyone invoking a sovereign citizen / Freeman of the land defence deserves to humoured (to extract maximum comedy value), mocked and then experience the full weight of the law.
(, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 20:07, Reply)
It does beggar belief
As I understand it these muppets are quite happy to enjoy the facilities of an organised society such as sanitation, roads, energy, police, jobs and some sense of order by when they commit a crime or evade tax then suddenly they claim they are no part of it and never voluntarily signed up.
I would just find an Island and stick them all on that and say you have your Freeman of the Land so get on with it.
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 20:19,
Reply)
You just...
...described Brexit
(
account88888 former cynic, converted to kindness, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 8:33,
Reply)
I've a simpler idea:
Withdraw his state pension, given that it was only a legal fiction who was paying into it anyway.
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jonbob loves you, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 22:34,
Reply)
I have one question:
Has this shit ever worked, even slightly, even once?
Because I've seen dozens, probably hundreds of these dolts being arrested, wrestled to the ground, handcuffed and even tased. It's hilarious, obviously, but it's also baffling, because if they HAVE used the internet for their research, they've never used Youtube, because all it has in response to searches for this kind of thing are endless, endless examples of it failing, sometimes boringly, sometimes very, very painfully.
If they've used the internet for their research, why is it I can't find a single example of a smug FMotL wandering off after talking his way out of arrest or trial?
(, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 22:56, Reply)
In his defence he is a Forester...
... and technically it's still 1788 in the Forest of Dean. Just hope his wife/sister is fully supportive of his stand against, 'the man'!
(, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 0:15, Reply)
saw this bloke talking about his vietnam experiences. not really relevant to anything, perhaps iraq, but an interesting piece nonetheless
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 0:41,
Reply)
That's Bill Ehrhart...
...great writer and poet.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._D._Ehrhart
(, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 1:14, Reply)
Magnets, why do they work?
The interviewer asks Feynman a simple question and is told it is not a simple question and has why it is not a simple question explained to him in great detail.
If you like this sort of thing, that being watching Feynman talk, here is 'Take the world from another point of view'
1/4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=36GT2zI8lVA
2/4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnzB_IHGyjg
3/4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNOghidK2TY
4/4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvqwm6RbxcQ
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 22:45,
Reply)
is the answer "love"?
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 0:06,
Reply)
Yes
unrequited on one side and sticky on the other.
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My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 0:29,
Reply)
https://www.b3ta.com/links/1414889
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tromboner cherophobia is my kind of fun, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 2:40,
Reply)
so technically, the most surprised kitten
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mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 12:13,
Reply)
Some might claim that it's irrelevant,
But does anybody know if Denise Fergus has even seen Detainment?
I can understand her anger at perhaps not being consulted by the Director or production company before/during production. But I very much get the impression that Ms. Fergus' animosity to the film is based largely on conjecture.
(, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 19:42, Reply)
I haven't seen Detainment
But I'm sure it doesn't depict the murder itself. I have seen Utoya, also from last year, and it crossed a line. It is truly fucking horrible. A director using the dead, and needling the survivors' trauma, as a calling card to Hollywood.
(
After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Sat 26 Jan 2019, 19:58,
Reply)
I’m willing to see what the critical opinion of it is first.
If it was made sensitively with the intention of exploring the reasons for the crime or similar, then I’m willing to give it a pass. The fact that the director didn’t make contact beforehand suggests that’s not the case though, and that it’s more likely that this is just a sensationalist straight retelling. In which case everyone involved should be thoroughly ashamed.
I strongly doubt she’s been invited to any preview showing.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 20:05,
Reply)
That's a very good question which goes unanswered in the reports.
The closest it comes is "Mrs Fergus had said she was haunted by some of the imagery in the film..."
I imagine she's torturing herself by watching trailers and clips like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7dOW8Zj-_w
It's very likely to go largely unseen.
"If Lambe’s plan had been to boost his own prospects with the pre-release controversy, it has backfired. He’s also found himself in a slightly Kafkaesque situation whereby he can’t defend his film’s balanced perspective by showing it to the British public. “The trickiest place to get it shown is the UK, and that’s the most important place for it to be shown.
“I don’t know if a TV station is going to take it. It’s kind of hard to get them to do it when people are saying it shouldn’t have been made and you shouldn’t watch it.”
The contract he’s signed with his distributor means he can’t post Detainment for free online and his approaches to cinemas have met with silence. “We said the proceeds would go to the James Bulger Memorial Trust if they did want to show it but no one wants to screen it so far.”"
via: https://www.standard.co.uk/go/london/film/detainment-director-vincent-lambe-james-bulger-case-a4041341.html
(, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 22:33, Reply)
I think her animosity is most likely the result of a dead child tbh
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simbosan is too tired, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 2:27,
Reply)
And she's easily manipulated by the tabloids, who have her on speed-dial
"Denise, there's a horrible new film out and we were wondering if you could tell us how upsetting it will be once you've viewed the clip we're about to send."
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Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Mon 28 Jan 2019, 12:16,
Reply)
Compare with Little Boy Blue which was a tour de force for Stephen Graham
they made a good show with full consent from the family. There are way and means of doing these things.
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rjmrjm, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 9:19,
Reply)
Cambodia
NSFW
I made this!
New addition to my YT channel - my obnoxious guide to world cultures. 6 down, 189 to go.
(, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 17:26, Reply)
not bad.
As feedback, I'd stay more in the british mocking with understatement persona "she seems well turned-out" which you do well, without the crass "rule britannia motherfuckers". They will hang together better thematically
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 0:14,
Reply)
Big Train for the Big Day
13 feckin years!! Bahhhhh
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slartifartfast When all around are losing their heads, duck., Sat 26 Jan 2019, 9:56,
Reply)
Candles at night, b3tan alight
Candles in the morning, mega-oldz b3tan yawning!
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Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 10:59,
Reply)
Beautiful Words
Cries while scratching mega-oldz bollocks
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 11:10,
Reply)
and they say they're not equatorial enough
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Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 23:15,
Reply)
Burn baby burn!
Concandulations!
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hoppitygoestotown The temporal displacement occurred exactly, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 11:12,
Reply)
Happy candles
Big Train - so underrated
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The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 13:57,
Reply)
i like this link and i wish you happy candles.
also , as per new regulations I 'woo' and 'yay' and would post an animated gif of such if i had the skillz.
he's right by the way. nice twiddly bits.
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unclepills, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 15:28,
Reply)
I thought I owned this on DVD...
*goes to eBay*
I will next week...!
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Happosai _,,,,_(O ; o)_,,,, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 0:33,
Reply)
Tat Vision Episode One
I made this!
Haven't been on here for a while but going to do weekly videos about charity shop finds! Check it out
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mrmenfolk, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 8:51,
Reply)
I try to avoid that one
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amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 13:57,
Reply)
I find theThe harbourne ones yield a better class of tatt
Depends on the tatt you're looking for i suppose.
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amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 2:10,
Reply)
Fancy tat
Do a day hitting bearwood and high end harbourne
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mrmenfolk, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 13:32,
Reply)
Are you b3ta's answer to Marie Kondo?
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 15:48,
Reply)
Hammered dulcimer action
House of Waters
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 6:51,
Reply)
Lovely sounding instruments.
But I can't shake the feeling that everybody that plays one is a massive cunt.
(, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 17:28, Reply)
There's a new age, dream catcher loving, crystal wearing hippy who plays amazingly
Search Dizzi Dulcimer on YouTube, she does play very well indeed if you can get past some hippy nonsense
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simbosan is too tired, Sun 27 Jan 2019, 5:50,
Reply)
Best dance routine for a while I think
Some of recent routines haven't been all that, but this is great.
(or not as you prefer)
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simbosan is too tired, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 2:32,
Reply)
You did this on purpose to do wasted people's heads in, didn't you?!
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 1:55,
Reply)
Indie Game Review: Thrusty Ship
I made this!
Thrust, but made in 2019. Not too shabby.
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dogbomb, Fri 25 Jan 2019, 23:00,
Reply)
This sounds like filth
Is it filth?
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 9:41,
Reply)
I never imagined Stuj as an aussie.
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FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Fri 25 Jan 2019, 23:32,
Reply)
An unlikely franchise
Peter Porker is Spidercock!
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simbosan is too tired, Sat 26 Jan 2019, 9:44,
Reply)
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