Attraction
Other that boobies, what do people look for when assessing the attractiveness of the opposite sex, consciously or otherwise? Tits, arses and legs are measuring sticks for the wanking classes.

Me, I definitely look at hair, not the pubic variety, i'm not a rapist, just the regular stuff. A lovely femine haircut can really raise the bar for some ladies, and of course it subconsciously denotes good health. Personal favourite has to be long curly brunettes, the wavier the better, and if it is draped across my stomach, better still. That and a nice smile, sometimes I fall in love 10 times a day.




Oh, and blowjob lips, how could I forget
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 14:17, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I want to
piss, puke, cum, shit, cough, sneeze, burp, and fart at the same time. Just to know what it's like, not a fetish to be repeated.

What's the closest you've been?

Oh, I nearly forgot about sweat.
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 14:00, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

there aren't enough posts about boobs on here today
so have another one.

baby now has 2 teeth, and likes to test them during feeds. it's like putting my nipple in the mouth of a lion then occasionally flicking his nads with a wet towel and seeing if I can remove my nipple before his teeth meet.

and if that isn't horrendous enough a thought for you, I spoke to a woman yesterday who had to go to A+E because her daughter had actually bitten the tip of her nipple off.

feel free to talk about boobs and/or biting amongst yourselves now.
( ascorbate, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 13:21, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you liked it then you should've put a jiggle on it
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS

Tell me your favourite thing about boobs.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 12:48, 112 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Recently
I have been getting loads of electric shocks from my car. It doesn't happen to anyone else, and it's when I get in the car as well as when I get out.

Most of the stuff about it on the internet bangs on about it being to do with building up a static charge between my clothes and the car upholstery but as it happens when I touch the car to open the door and get in this is not the case.

Anyone got any ideas?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 11:36, 158 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't even like music.
So, I'm going to watch the football in 3D tonight.
What's the most futuristic thing you're going to do tonight?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 11:04, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Songlines Conversation.
Why did you do it? Why did you do that thing to me?
(Stretch)
(Cave Duck, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 9:09, 98 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

First post of the day! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
The bookeeper will be coming soon to do the monthly accounts which means I have to do the filing that's piled up. I hate filing.


Did anyone watch Spoilt rotten on BBC1 last night?

*despairs*

Ok! that was a shit question.

Ladies, if you had to choose between losing the sensation in your nipples or the tip of your little finger, which would you choose?
( girlinthehole, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 8:24, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who's that through the arched window?
Why it's me! Looking for all the world like a boy!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=js2jrV6Kln8
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 21:08, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey Gonz (and other stomach AIDS types)
Looks like they've found a new approach to treating a number of inflammatory and allergic ailments.

www.technologyreview.com/biomedicine/25017/?a=f
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 20:12, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Gonz - here's a review of the KFC Double Down
blogs.ocweekly.com/stickaforkinit/chain-reactions/kfcs-double-down-is-there-a-ca/

"They lovingly smear Colonel's sauce on the breasts"
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 18:36, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo, through one of my local newspapers I won tickets to see STOMP! tonight
This makes me very happy indeed.
Also, the Orange County Fair is coming up and there's some good bands playing - ZZ Top will be awesome.

What concerts have you seen/going to see this year?

Edit: Just checked with the boyfriend - we also have Leighann Rimes, Sammy Hagar and Joan Jett lined up. Yay!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 17:52, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I did a little sick in my mouth when I read this just now.....
gizmodo.com/5508246/dear-god-kfcs-chicken+as+bread-sandwich-is-coming

Seriously, America, seriously.... =/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 17:01, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Food thread
Sorry. Any ideas? I'm cooking a thank-you meal for my parents. I've bought the wine before the food- a couple of bottles of a pretty good Bordeaux, one Sauternes and a Brown Brothers Muscat and Flora (so 2 dessert wines in total.) I can't cook so suggestions of easy food I can buy and simply cook/reheat that would go with the wine would be lovely.

Alternative question: What's the most bizarre sexual practice you've come across? (Points for truthfulness and weirder than plushophilia)

Edit: Thanks for all suggestions. I'm leaning towards the lasagne since it'll go well with red wine.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 16:02, 105 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Enough about dole scum.
What do you, the hard working/studying people of B3ta spend your hard earned cash on most of all besides bills?

Or better still. Guess what another B3tan spends their money on.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:07, 241 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Threadrush!
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7585500/Family-on-42000-a-year-benefits-because-they-are-better-off-unemployed.html

This is what is currently upsetting my friends via the afternoon email circular.

What's your take?

Alternatively, been sent anything decent via email recently?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:13, 118 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Should've signed for it.
My son has just txt me to say a driver had tried to deliver a large articulated lorry's worth of timber to our house.
Turned out he needed Unit 6 on the nearby industrial estate.

What strange things have you had to turn away or, indeed, accepted?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:08, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need a new sig too and although I'm not too lazy to think of one.
I'm interested in what you would come up with.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:06, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*ping* new thread
Thought I'd better not steal TGB's ding so I'm doing an own-brand version of ripping it off.

I'm going to go on a scuba diving taster session in May because I want to learn how to scuba dive.

What do you want to do before you're 30? If you're over 30, what do you want to do before you die, which will probably be shortly?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:06, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need a new sig
and am too fucking lazy to think of one myself. Go nuts. Am in too good a mood to care what anyone says. Al, I'll save you a moment of your time; yes I know I'm ugly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:41, 189 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's face facts, no-one gives a flying fuck about TGB and her breasts and freakish cavernous vadge
I care that I'm in a queue for the natural history museum. Not for an exhibit, but just to get into the cunting place.

All seats on the tube were taken by rugrats and their esteemed au pairs, who giggled when an old lady fell over a suitcase. Admittedly I did as well, less so when she started bleeding from a nasty cut on her leg. Did any of the cuntfuckers give her a seat? Did they bollocks. One kid actually wiped his foot in the rapidly spreading puddle and then wiped his shoe on his sister. Au pair didn't bat an eyelid!

What's mildly depressed you about kids and their cuntish owners today?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:38, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No one cares about your stupid kid Noel
What they do care about is me. And breasts. And pugs vomiting rainbows.

When crazy girl leaves in a couple of weeks I think I am going to be so busy I won't have time for b3ta, which is possibly a fate worse than death. Because I won't have time to talk to you crazy people I think I need to find some crazy real life people, what's a good cheap way to meet crazy people, apart from killing a tramp?

Alternatively what's the weirdest colour vomit you have ever sicked? Mine started off red and then went green it was like traffic light sicks!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:23, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Teenage kicks
So my kid has been a teenager for a couple of months now and since getting on Facebook this school holiday her social life is exploding and she's meeting lots of new people and others she already knows from school.

Despite years of saying I'll be as cool as possible once she hits this stage of her life, I'm finding it 'interesting' letting her go and do her own thing. So, Off Topic people, to help me steel myself against the multitude of horrible things she'll get up to, tell me the worst things you got up to as a teenager.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:38, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm up even earlier than planned as I'm a bit nervous about my return to the working world today
What was the last thing that kept you up all night? Bonus points for "Your Mum"
(bill, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 5:28, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OK
this is how it is. I split up with my partner of 20 years in July last year and since September have been seeing someone who has turned out not to be what he was cracked up to be. Not a rebound thing as the previous one had been over for some considerable time but circumstances dictated otherwise - for both of us. Question is this: How do I get over the heartbreak of thinking something was so right and it all going horribly wrong and rebuild my confidence. I really don't need telling to MTFU as that is what I have done but it doesn't stop the pain. Nice answers only please. Failing that,what did you have for supper. I had a jacket spud and Waitrose Lemon Sole Goujons, 3 pints of Tring Breweries Jack o Legs and am halfway through a bottle a red with tears running down my face wondering what the hell I did in a previous life to deserve this shit. Psychochomp don't risk it as I am feeling quite murderous.Be nice.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:58, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My best man speech went very well on Saturday...
The highlight was:

'He was born on the 18th of October. I tried to find something of significance that happened that day, but nothing did. But to honour the guy and to be honest keep this thing flowing. I have decided to name it:

Ugly Ginger Baby Day...

Whats been your favourite part of the weekend and why?
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:58, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is a new thread because I am bored
Its subject matter is flexible. We shall begin by debating whether ugly people should be allowed to be famous. I give you Natalie Cassidy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 18:27, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Everyone fucks off at 5 don't they?
Bloody jobsworths!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:30, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am a happy bunny today
My painfully dull Easter holiday is over and I'm back in Manchester with a he-uuuge supply of ice cream and creme eggs, my new tattoo looks lovely and my flat's kitchen is clean for once.

Where do you wish you were right now? Or if you're alright where you are...
If you had a time machine, where would be your first stop?


Edit: As requested, Tattoo number 2
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 15:42, 168 replies, latest was 16 years ago)