Yay newsletter
Thanks Rob :)

Q: Al's getting married tomorrow, what will you be doing to celebrate this great day?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:27, 163 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Two-for-one offer.
Make a sad child happy - give Darth the excuse to prance around London in a pink tutu AND for every £10 raised I will stay of OT for a day. Reach the target and I’ll be gone for over a month!
Also you can feel all Vippy for giving a child the education it needs.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 9:49, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday one of my new workmates described me as "a pretty boy... only not that pretty"
Apparently this is kind of a compliment. By "pretty boy" she means the likes of that twat Cristiano Ronaldo who take way too much pride in their appearance. So I'm supposed to take the suggestion that I'm not pretty enough to attain such status as a good thing.

What's the weirdest backhanded compliment you've received lately?

Morning, by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 8:43, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

is anyone still mucking about?
due to once upon a time signing up to become an ordained reverend ONLINE I am now being asked to officiate a wedding ceremony for my two lezbo pals

begin rant
I DON'T KNOW WTF I AM DOING HERE
She's no help, all she says is "we'll figure something out" "I'll look at whatever you e-mail me"
and it's literally a month from yesterday!!!!
cunt cunt cunt cunt CUNT
end rant

what's for tea?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:19, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Happy days.
I've turned 30 today which I have finally resigned myself to, and I now have 10 days before I go to work again so I'm having a trek back to Scotland for family times.
Also, over the last 10 days a chance meeting where a pretty lady smiled at me on the train home from work has developed into us saying hello, then having a few nice conversations, and tonight we've swapped numbers and we're going out for a couple of drinks.

What is pleasing you today?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 18:47, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Credit card help needed please
Can someone who's reasonably good with numbers and understanding credit cards gaz me please. Thanks

Alt Q: What is it about a man or a woman turns you on the most?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:52, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey Roota
check this out for the lolz
www.closeronline.co.uk/27692/view.aspx?dateonline=Thursday+01+July+2010

My favourite quote is "People can't call us teletubby scroungers now"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:01, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's your ideal day out?
Yesterday I met Becky in London and we went to the V&A - it was ace - especially the shoes, less so the sweaty Circle Line.

Alt question - I've recently been given an iPod touch, what apps are the BEST EVAR?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:46, 150 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My father has decided to follow the tradition
and pay for the meal for the wedding, despite my complaints (around 100€/person).

He asked how many I was inviting, and I said around 180, but probably only 100 will go, as it's far and expensive. He, half joking, half serious, said that that was a lot of people, so Mark and I have cut the list a little.

Now, I keep receiving emails and calls from my parents asking me if they can invite more people. I can't say no to them, as they're paying, but I'm going to end up in a party full of their friends, rather than mine.

Incongruences, don't you love them?

(Yes, that counts as a question)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 15:21, 123 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

alright sluts?
How many of you blog?
Do you have loads of dedicated readers?
Do you use your own name or a pen name?

Which of you will be sloshed off in alleys by Lampitos whores and which of you will be ravished on a bed of satin by my escorts?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:42, 213 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

LUNNNNCH
I've just spent about 5 minutes re-reading the really fucking weird cartoon on the FP.

Now I'm eating crisps.

If I discovered a new habitable planet I'd build a massive swimming pool with massive flumes and whirlpools and it would be totally awesome and then I'd have a guest list and bouncers and hardly anyone would be allowed in, because as last night proved 95% of people who are allowed in to swimming pools are utter fucking cunts who don't fucking appreciate some people go to the swimming pool to fucking SWIM, yes up and down boring boring for exercise and to unwind and we do not fucking appreciate you and your fucking greasy hair and stupid gawping girlfriend swimming ACROSS the pool lanes only to stop in the middle of the fucking pool and do fucking handstands that involve kicking everyone else int he fucking pool you utter utter cunts
*looks around*

Erm.. so yeah on my new planet B3ta what business would you run?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:43, 157 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Raoul Moat has done a Bickle on his hair!
news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Raoul-Moat-Hes-Better-Off-Dead-Says-Suspects-Mother-Josephine-Healey-As-CCTV-Images-Released/Article/201007215661219?lpos=UK_News_Carousel_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15661219_Raoul_Moat%3A_Hes_Better_Off_Dead%2C_Says_Suspects_Mother_Josephine_Healey_As_CCTV_Images_Released
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:51, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

wedding cakes
hi all engaged b3tans, how are your wedding plans going?
I just saw this site
stackoverflow.com/questions/686216/what-code-would-you-have-on-your-wedding-cake
and thought of you.

MrVitaminC and I have 6 weeks to go (on saturday) and I'm shitting myself (literally actually, as I am off work today with D+V), and starting to think about stupid fripperies like what to have on the cake, given that the person making it a) speaks no english, b) is unlikely to have a sense of humour, and c) is unlikely to have much in the way of skillz, judging by photos I've seen of previous efforts. So I thought I'd prat around on t'internet looking for things to decorate it. Any ideas?
( ascorbate, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:42, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last time, I promise
Remember my sponsored run through London?

uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=martinandclaire

Larry Vest was the first person to sponsor us and he suggested I do it in a tutu. Initially I laughed this off, but with the run looming large I have decided that this is actually a BRILLIANT IDEA. So on Sunday I will be running 10 kilometres through London in a tutu. And pictures will only be available to those who sponsor me, like BGB and Larry. Just so you know.

I'll shut up about this now.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 11:17, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For sale
A first edition baby in very good condition but out of packaging complete with a fully functioning alarm system and an uprated exhaust.
Does around 15 mins per gallon and goes like shit off a shovel.

£3.50 ono
( Captain V, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 9:55, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Argh
I’m having basically the week from hell. On Tuesday I told my housemate that I want him out by next Sunday, this is due to him not paying bills, not tidying up, eating all the food, etc. He is basically the stereotype of irritating housemate. Because of him living with me, I’m now in a fair amount of debt, due to half of the inheritance I received going on nothing but bills to cover his arse. Ugh. There’s more, but frankly it’s even less interesting than that.

I thought this would be the end of it though, and had already set a new housemate up, it would take her a month or so (which my Dad has agreed to help me through), and then I could get back on track. I’ve even been turning down others, knowing that she’ll sort me out. Yesterday, she tells me that she doesn’t want to move into my current place, can’t we look for another place? She seems utterly ignorant to the amount it would actually cost to move out. I’m now struggling to work out who I know who doesn’t live in a fucking bubble constructed by Mummy and Daddy. Add to that she’s decided to get back with her arsehole ex (again) after he’s threatened me, her, told her about how much he was sleeping with his ex behind her back, etc. And once again, she’s explained this all away in her own head.

So, erm, a question…nah, more a request. Make me laugh with the stupidest things that have happened to you recently, or a joke

Alt Q: Someone you fancy who others just don’t find attractive at all? Mine is Summer Glau, Mmmmm. Or just someone you feel guilty about fancying? Saw a recent picture of Dakota Fanning, and it felt rather odd to see how attractive she's become...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 9:04, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you catch me on here today
tell me to sod off
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 7:51, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And it begins.
Raoul Moat's just put his car up for sale. Word is he only want coppers for it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 22:35, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Favourite coming-of-age movie?
I don't want to bias anyone so I'm not saying mine just yet.

Alt Q: Favourite movie starring Emilio Estevez and/or Molly Ringwald?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 22:06, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What do you do to avoid working?
Our internet and E-mails have been off all day at work. This left me with little option but to work all day. I even resorted to Minesweeper and Hearts, which was even more tedious. Now I'm back home I see I've missed a whole day of average activity on here.

Speak at me good people, even if its only to call me a silly thing.

Need input.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 19:01, 148 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Being in the limelight? your experiences, good or bad.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:54, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What is everyones opinion on new board member whatshisname
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=65224 that bloke.

Also do high fives make you look like a twat?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 15:30, 206 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What have you discovered
(film, TV show, book, record, band, deviant sexual practice, holiday destination, firearm etc etc) in the past year that you cannot believe you lived happily without before?

Alt Q: how fucking BRILLIANT is 'Raoul Moat'? I haven't laughed so much since the 'Crossbow Cannibal'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 13:59, 302 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just for Larry

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 7 Jul 2010, 13:39, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New Acronyms
Following Darth's reply in the moaning students post below I think it's time to come up with some new acronyms. What are your suggestions?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 12:20, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How in the flipping fuck did humans as a species...
end up working 5 days on and 2 days off? something is fundamentally wrong here!!! how did this happen??? Life shouldnt be like this!!! I just want to have fun and learn cool stuff all the time. Excel should not be part of my vocabulary.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:42, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a free house.
The mother and sister are off to the lake district til Friday, my Dad doesn't get home from work til about sixish most nights, so I have pretty much a free house for the next three days. This NEVER happens. I don't know what to do with myself. I have no car and very little money, the puppy is still in college and my friends all live miles away.
Besides wasting three days on here and listening to my new Them Crooked Vultures and Halestorm CDs, what do you suggest I do?

Alt Q: Who would be your ideal roommate? Anyone/thing at all.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 11:25, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am outraged.
Properly write in to the Daily Mail angry.

This morning I opened up my email to see a very very smug looking Carface holding Babycrackface

Catface, knocking up CHCB just so you won't be the smallest person in the room is an utterly cuntish thing to do.

Alt Q for the Alt Q Whores: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 Jul 2010, 10:10, 147 replies, latest was 16 years ago)