OK then, another thread for bobby to call Gay.
Being as everyone is down in the dumps today, here is a challenge:

Think of one positive thing to say about your life, be it something you've done recently you are proud of, something you look forward to, or just something that could be more shit.

Alt(and lets face it the main one is doomed to fail): When was the last time you saw Karma give someone what's coming to them?

I'd say I am very lucky to have good friends and a surprisingly decent family. I do not always appreciate this, but it's one hell of a safety net.

Alt: As I stood at the Chinese takeaway the other night a guy pushed in front of me in the queue and proceeded to be rude to the girl serving. I took great delight in being very polite to her when I ordered, politer and cheerier still when my food turned up first and I did a little dance of joy when I got home and found they'd accidentally given my his Beef fried rice (and thus presumably he's got my egg fried rice).
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:50, 179 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

horrible dilemmas
ask the nastiest things you can think of and get people to choose. eg: would you rather lick teasingly at a genital wart or eat a fried egg off a nun's chuff?

answer, then ask your own question. bonus points for the most disgustingly depraved suggestions.

alt: have you ever gone commando? why?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:46, 105 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Christ alive it's shit on here today.
To compound this terminal dullness, I have two questions of interest to me which are GUARANTEED to be of no interest to you, or to be a springboard for witty conversation.

1. Those 'First Defence' cold preventative medicines: any good or a total waste of money?

2. If I go crying to the mods to get my username back off the wag who nabbed it, am I a cunt for it? Yes, I'm a cunt anyway 'LOL'. Shut up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 9:50, 214 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

why aren't you cunts awake right meow?
I want to chit chat :(
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 6:11, 31 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I also have a sore throat

( WormuIus, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 23:20, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

I is watching Fiona Bruce on telly.
Again.

What is it that you are doing?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 21:10, 264 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well, I feel like shit.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a wicked sore throat, which I just remembered half an hour ago when I realised I have a thumping headache.
If I come down with a bastard cold before PIERBASH, I'm still fucking going. Fuck it.

Alt: University Challenge on tonight. Is it a great half-hour's entertainment, or intellectual wankery? I put it to you that your answer will be indicative of your own intelligence.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Sep 2011, 18:16, 138 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

FFS
www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/sep/26/dale-farm-residents-win-reprieve

This is getting a bit silly now isn't it. How much clearer do they need to be? Listen up you fuckwits, half the development is illegal, if you don't know which half after 10 years of legal battles, then you don't deserve to live there.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 16:01, 258 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Yeah, great new thread, benders.

QUESTION: you have to kill Sportscow for being a cheeky cunt. But you have to do it in an amusing and extremely painful way - how do you dispatch the northern cock-smoker?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 15:59, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

As mentioned in the previous thread I've just been for my first run in 3 months
in that 3 months my gym kit has been sat under my desk in a rucksack...unfortunately so were the Fried Noodles i had brought for lunch 3 months ago and forgotton about.

Are you forgetful? What was the last thing you forgot?

ALT: pen or pencil?
Alt: bubble or squeek?

Just for Chompy - Alt ii) What has, in yor eyes, been man's greatest technological achievement?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 14:09, 149 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Old thread has turned into some kind of counselling forum
Guilty pleasures? Music, film, food. What are they?

Alt:
It was a good old QOTW a while ago. Letters you will never send
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 12:23, 221 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Who want's to get angry on a monday morning?
Read this mental.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2041464/Cats-dogs-smart--smarter-certainly-men.html#ixzz1Z33KN9lO

Then give your thoughts.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 10:20, 279 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good day, shitcunts.
Good weekend? No? Why not? Did you get ostracised by your 'friends' and picked on by strangers *again*? Did your WoW character suffer an irritating setback, perhaps? Maybe you crapped yourself in Sainsbury's. Why are you so shit?

WHY?

Alt: Morning, hardnuts. Good weekend? I'll bet. Picked on some losers, yeah? Arm-wrestled an angry bear and won, right? Nice one. Looking forward to the weekend ahead BIG TIME.

Alt alt: Stephen Fry was excellent last night, wasn't he? What a superb programme. Clearly not as good as 'Red Dwarf' or 'Dr Who', but at least he's trying, yeah? Hopefully there'll be some zombies in the next one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 8:31, 205 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Have you done your homework
And had a bath prior to school tomorrow?

Evening thread!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 21:09, 319 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

OH my cunting goodness!
it's only a freaking GENIE!

Genie says "make a wish RIGHT NOW, otherwise I eat your legs. You can be anything or anyone for a whole day...I'm a clever genie, but limited."


What're you gonna do, lamprubber?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 15:54, 128 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Turns out its technically Sunday
Was it just me or was Dr Who a bit bobbins this week?

Earlier this week I got in the lift to nip down the shop and let a fruity one go. I'm on 4 and on 3 a couple got on. Then on 1 a fit bird got on, I made eye contact, nodded at the couple and rolled my eyes.

I'm not sure I convinced her though. What have you learned your lesson about lately?

edit: take this as a sunday morning thread, see if I care.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 0:32, 35 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well since it turns out I'm a billy no mates
lets see who else is in on a saturday night

look at this crazy shit: gizmodo.com/5843117/scientists-reconstruct-video-clips-from-brain-activity

that's fuckin crazy that is
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 21:24, 16 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Happy Birthday Me!
I am awesome. That is all.

ok then, what's the last song you learned to play on an instrument? Mine was Always: Your Way by My Vitriol or possibly Fire by Kasabian
( djtrialprice, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 17:11, 62 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tech question:
My laptop screen is knackered, it's very very dark on startup and I have tried fn button and brightness and it changes nothing. Is the screen fucked? What are my options? It's a dell inspiron thingy ma jig.

Alt: best housemate you ever had?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 16:55, 12 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh what a glorious morning, oh what a sun shineing day. I've got that feeeeeling, something's coming up my way.
Hello, how are you? Saturday Morning Kitchen is on the telly, I like that show.

I think I'm 99.99% sure I've found the flat I want to move too, I've thought about last night's one and it's great. There are 3 more to see today, with only one of them being a realistic posibilty, and is 'round the corner to yesterday's one.

I've just looked on the local bus map, and the busses are even better than I expected, there is a bus that goes right to Clindrex's house, so I can be all like "I'm jumping on the bus to see Clendrix", and then, BOOM, I'll be outside her house. It's a short bus to the tube too, better than I expected, so if I want to take the tube somewhere, BOOM, I can.

I really have a giddly feeling, two really good flats that both will do, with budget to do them up how I want too. I want to get a jacuzzi-bath thing, if possible, hopefuly, maybe, donno. That would be a real dream, I think I can wing it into the budget because it would be benificial health wise.

Alt: So, what's this weekend got in store for you?

Sorry about banging on about it, well, no, not 'sorry', but "sorry if you're bored with it, but i'm excited and OH BOY, it's awesome, so I'm gonna bang on and on about it 'till I move"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 10:44, 36 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Evening chaps.
What's happened to Monty then? We've suddenly gained two of him down our end.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 23:07, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

4 minute warning!*
what do you regret?
what are you proud of?
what do you do?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

*not really, don't panic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 19:59, 72 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Is that it till Monday morning now?
What's going on with everybody today/over the weekend? This time next week we'll totally be bashing up the pier!

Alt: What's wrong with the youth of today?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:36, 77 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's that time of year!!!!!!!!!
A year ago today I did a historical predictions thread. Look at it now. Who won at fortune telling.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post877742
(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:44, 136 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

HI EVERYONE
How are you all? I haven't been here for ages, what have I missed?

Alt: (are we still insisting on alts) Where do you want the satellite to fall?
Edit: ffs talk about lunch then
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:34, 86 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I wish somebody would post something interesting on here to help pass the time until the weekend begins.
What do you wish someone else would do?

Alt: I appear to be in a foul mood, Are you in a foul mood? What should I do to cheer myself up? Sneaking off to the gents for a crafty wank is current front runner.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:53, 171 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread ffs. Are you all mad, using last night's thread for the morning. Bad juju!!
I have a week off which I will spend with b3tans far and wide. This is good because I'm pissed off with my boss today.

What is pissing on your chips today?
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:30, 180 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

20 years ago tomorrow.
I had my first ever driving lesson. 8 more one hour lessons and two tests later, I'd passed.

What do you look back on and think 'Christ! Was it really 'that' long ago?

Alt: NATTER!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 20:12, 221 replies, latest was 14 years ago)