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Manny, Manny, Manny, always fanny, in a Richard McBeef!
There
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:58, archived)

See

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:58, archived)

Yep

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:59, archived)

My old nan used to use 'there" brilliantly, still makes me smile

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:01, archived)

My nan says "well there you go, see?" regardless of what you tell her

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:02, archived)

Bless , somebody could trip over and my nan would say there

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:08, archived)

this is actually true

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:24, archived)

Good afternoon, dickhead's
I did an cycling exercise class that was on YouTube earlier. It was a good way to make me stick to the timing etc but even though I had headphones on and was alone in my loft I still felt like a total fanny doing it, being 'motivated' by some vapid bint telling me that I've 'got this' and that I should 'keep pushing' and so on.

When was the last time *you* felt like a total fanny?

Alternatively, have you 'got this'? Are you 'pushing'?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:06, archived)

the only thing I've 'got' right now is flatulence, and there's no way I'm gambling by 'pushing', not at my age
that's how bad things happen
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:10, archived)

last night I tried Bulgarian split squats for the first time
only to find that I had to hold onto the nearest piece of furniture while doing them to avoid falling over. Felt a bit of a fanny there

also I was working out with a couple of mates years ago and we were psyching up the guy on the bench machine, various yells of "PUSH!" etc., and I said "I can see the head!" and he laughed and dropped the weight

#bantz
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:15, archived)

beasting it up in the pit, there

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:21, archived)

my knees felt beastly afterwards, if that counts

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

*checks T's and C's*

yes, it does
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:33, archived)

*creaks*

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:35, archived)

alright Yeti., nice to have you back

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

are you not frenzied with lust yet at the thought of a tooled-up 200 ft Diane Abbott?

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:25, archived)

no

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:27, archived)

a 60 foot Carol Vorderman tho

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:28, archived)

a 30 foot arse circumference

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:31, archived)

in real life, I mean

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:31, archived)

You say that like it's a bad thing.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:51, archived)

I did some squats at the weekend for the first time since before Christmas
and my calfs still fucking ache.

/blog
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:04, archived)

+r

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:39, archived)

I saw a sketch of one of those where the fella is all you got this , then it cuts to s fella and he goes ' john your bollocks are hanging out you shorts again' as the blokes seen tucking them back in, made me lol

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:24, archived)

m.facebook.com/watch/?v=234148990965477&_rdr
(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:26, archived)

there's something weird about hearing a Brit say 'buddy'

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:28, archived)

hahaha

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:32, archived)

hmmm
(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:43, archived)

lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)

Hahaha

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:09, archived)

lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:28, archived)

something about feeling your nan's total fanny something I've got *this* something something kept pushing something nan again

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:43, archived)

no pran no gran

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)

top work here m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)

not sure I can handle this much anecdote in one go

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:48, archived)

At work, we use an instant messenger system called Q-link
And I noticed the other day that my contacts were a real mess. People who've long since left, etc. So I tidied the list up.
Unbeknownst to me, all the people I 'moved' got put into a group called "(my real name) and Friends". Not only that, they all got a message inviting them to join the group.
I wanted to fucken die, m8. These are people from all around the world. Even had a guy in Hong Kong ask me what was happening. So yes. I felt like a proper fanny
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:02, archived)

https://b3ta.com/talk/8290130
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:07, archived)

oh man :(
you fanny
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:45, archived)

It was bad

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)

Haha, I've just come up with a good one
"Now That's What I Call Covid 19!"

Brilliant, right? I should put this on the main board
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:31, archived)

FP THIS NOW!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:40, archived)

Haha, brilliant!
You could have a track list of songs that are related to like being ill and stuff, that would be really clever!!!!!!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:47, archived)

Fever by Peggy Lee
How I Could Just Kill a Man by Cypress Hill, feat our forum chum Sen Dog

You know, that kind of stuff!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)

This is solid fucken gold m8
SOLID gold
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:07, archived)

if this doesn't get us into the newsletter NOTHING will!
we need to carpe this fucken diem right fucken now!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)

Take My Breath Away

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)

Wuhan Clan Ain't Nuthing Ta Fuck Wit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:52, archived)

Cough Cough by Everything Everything

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:59, archived)

NHS by Doc Scott

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)

R Numbers Electric - Gary Numan

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:17, archived)

Everybody was Lung Flu Fighting

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 14:39, archived)

Wuhan! they got you all to choke

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:33, archived)

Jab on it

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:35, archived)

Waiting for a strain

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:36, archived)

Down with the sickness by Disturbed

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 15:40, archived)

The genesis version was better

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:56, archived)

silly person

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:27, archived)

^snes fan

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:45, archived)

~~still felt like~~ am
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)

#clever

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:53, archived)

Well I've decided to retrain as a gynaecologist,
and this morning I had to examine a suspected vaginal carcinoma. Fortunately it turned out to be non-malignant.

So that's the last time I felt a bit of a fanny.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Jan 2021, 16:35, archived)

no u never m8 dunt lie

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:30, archived)

:(

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:50, archived)

Gooood morning Vi-/chat-nam!!! Haha, you know, like in that Kenneth Williams film!

Hullo Friday flebber's, you OK?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 7:37, archived)

yeah ok ta

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:01, archived)

another weekend of sitting around doing fuck all ahead, dibnah af

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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:09, archived)

sounds wel peng

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:10, archived)

totes, with a side order of reem and mint

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)

sick

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:25, archived)

dead tired this morning
debating going back to bed for half an hour
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:17, archived)

I had a very good music lesson last night
so I've got lots of practise to do over the weekend.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:26, archived)

practice

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:27, archived)

I will

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:42, archived)

I've barely picked up a guitar this past year
Or a book

Load of rubbish
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:32, archived)

It's been a lifeline for me
I've really enjoyed the interaction with other musicians.. It's been nice to put some money back into the industry, too, poor loves. The guy I had my 1-on-1 webcam action with normally does a lot of wedding reception band work so he's glad of a few coin. I tell you, what he's taught me to do with my fingers is nobody's business.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:47, archived)

images.app.goo.gl/WfXrhTYfpGKrDwLE9
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 9:07, archived)

Stop messin' about!

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 9:08, archived)

Not bad , not great

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:33, archived)

at least there's a little sunshine

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:42, archived)

London might get snow Sunday

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 8:51, archived)

I'll believe it when I see it

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 9:06, archived)

One Saturday we were all up the pub 1 ish and it started snowing a blizzard , we were all like big kids , snowball fights , pushing people over, goodtimes

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 9:11, archived)

I love London in the snow
especially first thing in the morning before all the cars and people have turned it into black slush. I've been stranded in North Finchley twice before though, when they shut the tube down from Archway and beyond
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 9:17, archived)

Got stuck at Greenwich a few years ago , no trains . Uber's were like 100 quid, I sat in the pub and waited till uber's were 25 quid

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 9:19, archived)

I paid £50 for a black cab from Finchley to Archway, dropping off a girl who worked for me on the way
My boss 'lost' the receipt so I got nowt...
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:23, archived)

If only the Viet Cong would "stop messin about" eh?
Hahaha
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:14, archived)

yeah, those yellow-bellied gooks!!!
Haha!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:25, archived)

I bet Kenneth hid in a vast network of tunnels in his lifetime

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:27, archived)

'iiinnn, ouuuut, iiinnn, ouutt'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:29, archived)

THIS was Robin's Wish, to be immortalised in /chat form
Saved gari from having to watch that film.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:52, archived)

Speaking of that list,
my other half got me the 3D blu-ray of Mortal Engines from the bargain bucket in HMV as a stocking filler from Santa. We watched it yesterday, and both thought it was a perfectly enjoyable way to waste a couple of hours.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 10:59, archived)

my kid loves the book series

tl;dr you have the same tastes as a 12 year old girl
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:01, archived)

If your tl;dr is longer than the original comment
You might be doing it wrong
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 13:00, archived)

TEST YOUR MIGHT!

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:02, archived)

Henry and James were a palette swap

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 12:00, archived)

You must have quite the vaccination army up there with half the population used to jacking up , have they all volunteered?

(Nicki Minaj, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:24, archived)

Nah, they all said that they're not poisoning their body wi that shite, all they fuckin chemicals, no fuckin way.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 17:51, archived)

I just fed a horse an apple

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:00, archived)

/euphemism

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:01, archived)

Trying to find out if there are any illegal raves nearby
Assuming I avoid the police when they come to break it up, I hear that I can have 500 quid for getting ill
(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:07, archived)

or a 200' statue of Diane Abbott wielding a huge strapon
/ac
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:23, archived)

Holding it aloft as if it were the sword of grayskull

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:39, archived)

Think I'd rather have the money tbh, there's not really space in the garden for something that size

(dribble, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:45, archived)

well YOU'RE no fun

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 11:48, archived)

it's beer time you turd flinging maniacs

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:04, archived)

I'm not even home yet,

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:14, archived)

fuck that you're usually home by midday
what's the hold up?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:19, archived)

it's not dick fucking turpentine again is it?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:28, archived)

Just chatting shit with another bloke I work with, he cant leave till 4 because he's tracked

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:10, archived)

has he woken up in a dystopian nightmare?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:17, archived)

Yeah he's a van mobile engineer. Its awful big brother shit

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:28, archived)

can't he just cut the tracker out of his eyeball or something?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:35, archived)

No because it's in the van. Most vehicle leasing places insist on trackers now for insurance

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:45, archived)

oh right. see i'd put it in his eye. i dunno. just thinking outside the box i suppose.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 19:03, archived)

No your thinking of total recall

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 21:38, archived)

Up the bum, no harm done apart from rectal damage and it'll stop his poo coming out

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 21:47, archived)

You say that like it's a bad thing.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 23:00, archived)

yes it is

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:30, archived)

hooray let's party like it's covid 1999

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:32, archived)

fuck that, might just have a cuppa

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:30, archived)

well where did you lose your party hat you boring bastard

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:32, archived)

I read that in a vyvyan voice

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:06, archived)

Not out loud, that'd be weird

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:06, archived)

and you'd never behave in a way that might make people think you were weird

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:14, archived)

Not offline

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:18, archived)

just keep your router switched on

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:20, archived)

time for a cocktail
now that the mandatory bit of physical exercise for the day is done
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:15, archived)

after work wanks are the best

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:18, archived)

nah man, during work wanks are the best

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:20, archived)

Wanking from home

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:21, archived)

pfffft!

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:22, archived)

Fairly sure I saw an article on the beeb the other day telling people to masturbate because it's safer than going out on a date and catching the virus
can't find it now
(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:24, archived)

i haven't been able to find a date for years
maybe it's this moustache
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:25, archived)

i don't work in a heavily pimped industry

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 18:21, archived)

Got back on it
No sleep tonight, still got a good few stripes left
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 22 Jan 2021, 1:38, archived)

In-laws in Brazil have been denying the existence of COVID
saying it's all a big left-wing conspiracy. Patriarch of the family and big Bolsonaro fan threw a party on NYE. He's now on oxygen in a hospital and all his friends are on FB sharing "prayer" emojis.

When was the last time you managed to suppress a "fucking told you so you stupid wankers" urge?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:55, archived)

Every time I go on b3ta dot com forward slash talk

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:10, archived)

Dont you use the https colon forward slash forward slash? It's for your safety

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:14, archived)

I don't even use double u double u double u
I don't give a single heck mate
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:18, archived)

You'll get a virus

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:37, archived)

covid 19?
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:58, archived)

yesterday
when my brother was amazed that Joe Biden didn't declare himself to be Q
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:16, archived)

intl.startrek.com/database_article/q-aliens
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:26, archived)

not that Q
although John DeLancie is brilliant
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:30, archived)

I watched all of ST:NG over the first lockdown, couldn't fas DS9

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:37, archived)

probably because DS9 isn't very good

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:41, archived)

It got way too confusing for a light entertainment sci fi tv show

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:09, archived)

and Avery Brooks was more wooden than the timber aisle in B&Q

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:21, archived)

The original dax was fit tho

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:22, archived)

yes she was

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:24, archived)

i'd shove one right up her fuck pipe
if you know what i mean
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)

DS9 was a bit rubbish

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:38, archived)

wut, Q from James Bond????

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 15:48, archived)

pay attention, judi

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:53, archived)

what an idiot, I'm Q

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:32, archived)

What, they thought their son was in on it?

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 17:35, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:09, archived)

that's why I keep falling over

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:11, archived)

+t

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:12, archived)

Nope, I've got the lockdown blues

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:53, archived)

same here, even squabbling with the mrs which never happens normally

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:56, archived)

You think that's bad , I'm arguing with myself

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:02, archived)

at least you'll definitely win

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

I'm not talking to myself at the minute, some harsh things were said

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:28, archived)

maybe you should move out for a few days until you're ready to talk again

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:43, archived)

Have you thought of just having a make-up-with-each-other wank?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 13:15, archived)

Some good news , Glastonbury has been cancelled. I hate the way the bbc do expensive blanket coverage

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:15, archived)

my mate Nick's married to the woman in charge of the whole thing

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:21, archived)

that's interesting Queef

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:24, archived)

new concept: Zoom festival
run the garden hose onto your lawn for an hour or two

drink half a dozen warm cans

try and set up your tent

watch a concert on your tablet and take drugs and drink more warm cans until you're rolling around on your back in the mud and yelling at your neighbours
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:38, archived)

that's not a new concept, I do this every weekend

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:41, archived)

lol

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:46, archived)

I said I don't know if Covid, but I know it's not the flu

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:32, archived)

two Spindas caught in the last two days.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:07, archived)

+rella

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:12, archived)

yes

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:13, archived)

stench

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:16, archived)

sword

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:22, archived)

sup

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:24, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:26, archived)

rough as fuck
decided to go broke with a bang and spend the last of my money on booze and shoe. not a good idea.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:29, archived)

bit.ly/3qGld2U
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:40, archived)

not a chance
got the kids today, so i'll just have to settle for a curry
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 12:55, archived)

that's fine dining where i'm from

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 16:55, archived)

morning

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:00, archived)

no you

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:05, archived)

I nevah

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:21, archived)

seen it wiv mein own mince pies bruv

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:26, archived)

nice sunny one here

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:45, archived)

Same here
I shall go out for a jolly jog later.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:49, archived)

bending over in front of the bathroom mirror again are you?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:50, archived)

that beard won't trim itself I spose

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:52, archived)

alwez

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:06, archived)

Bloody glorious in sunny Fareham m8
Might get out in the garden at this rate
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:48, archived)

defo going for a stroll in a bit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:51, archived)

quiz time!
birbs of prey
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 8:55, archived)

5/8, angry birds

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:02, archived)

very good. I just kept guessing peregrine falcon until I got one right
Then i kept going in case I was right again
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:09, archived)

tbf the clues were a massive help

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:11, archived)

too early for clue reading I was just going by the silhouettes

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:36, archived)

0

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:07, archived)

haha bird brain

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:09, archived)

I might have done it a couple of times
Your score: 8 / 8
Impressive! I bet you were waiting with baited breath to find out your score weren't you...
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:44, archived)

*bated

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:47, archived)

+ mastur
lol
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:59, archived)

3/8
slightly better than random guessing
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:32, archived)

that's what I got an all I really thought I'd do better I'm well into birds
Can understand in your case tho
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:37, archived)

so random guessing should get 2?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:44, archived)

Not quite, but 2 is the most likely result if your guesses are purely random

(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:02, archived)

I see

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:07, archived)

alright, that Storm Christoph has proven to be a bit of a damp squid eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:01, archived)

Good name for a porn actor though

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:21, archived)

what, 'damp squid'?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:55, archived)

I think I've shagged him already...

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:22, archived)

sounds a bit Nazi to me

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:03, archived)

Anne Wank

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:10, archived)

Adolf Titler

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:10, archived)

Joseph Goo-balls

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:16, archived)

Herbert Cockring

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:27, archived)

Heinz Minge

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:29, archived)

Bendover Mussolini

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:05, archived)

Debbie Does Deutschland Uber Alles

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:05, archived)

Aren't squids always damp anyway

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:48, archived)

it's damp squib innit bruv

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:05, archived)

THAT WAS THE JOKE, YES

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:09, archived)

idgi

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:10, archived)

Hahaha your well good at jokes

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:10, archived)

an Englishman Irishman and Scotchlandman walk into a car

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:13, archived)

morning
Nine Inch Nails this morning

let's see how many people that pisses off for no reason
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:05, archived)

Downward Spiral?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:06, archived)

yep

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:10, archived)

one of my favourite albums
For a mid 90s electronic album it's aged remarkably well.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:12, archived)

it's pretty good alright

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:14, archived)

I treated myself to the vinyl reissue a few years ago.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:17, archived)

Broken y/n

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:19, archived)

No, it's still in mint condition!!!!

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:19, archived)

it's a big fat Y from me!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:20, archived)

No, he's just feeling a bit gloomy, it'll pass
Oh hahahaha
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:11, archived)

idgi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:12, archived)

Haha, sure you do
It's EASY
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:43, archived)

take your clever humour somewhere else

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:10, archived)

~~Nail~~ dildo
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:06, archived)

^ Steely Dan

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:10, archived)

that pisses me off

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:09, archived)

^ upset

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:11, archived)

giving The Fragile another go
Never been arsed about it but a mate insists it's the best NIN album.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:52, archived)

With Teeth has a couple of reasonable bits

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:17, archived)

garold
Always believe in your soul
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:08, archived)

you've got the power
You're the master of the universe do do de do do do
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:11, archived)

I think /chat would be improved by rob giving a wholesome life lesson to camera at the end of each episode

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:17, archived)

I'd donate again to have that feature

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 11:07, archived)

morning dove

(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:10, archived)

It's a bit early for pills
but I won't say no...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:21, archived)

I would. my brain got well pickled on all that hoo har

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:39, archived)

We can tell.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:56, archived)

good fun tho

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:08, archived)

Not for your fellow /talkers.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:10, archived)

Ooh, I'd love an old-school Mitsubishi ...

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:22, archived)

those speckled mitsis were the fukkin biznizz

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:23, archived)

get on those dark webs innit blud

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:35, archived)

Where's $$ these days?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:11, archived)

dead

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:13, archived)

damn you covid

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:21, archived)

Quick! Someone form a protective circle around brb!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:22, archived)

fucking lol
you've got a very good memory
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:23, archived)

could one person actually manage that?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:26, archived)

Good point
Could we find more than one person who wants him kept alive, do you reckon?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:48, archived)

doubtful

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:56, archived)

That's not very Christian

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:00, archived)

I'm devout, mate.
DE FUCKEN VOUT.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:10, archived)

U A
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:17, archived)

is Voat still going?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:19, archived)

haven't a scooby

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:20, archived)

<s>v</s>t +r
Rubbish new board game
(dribble, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 10:21, archived)

I think he changed his name to LS18 and got banned but keeps coming back with new Hitlerian names and crap memes.
Unless I've got my Nazi named posters mixed up again.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 14:13, archived)

i'm interested to know what you really really
really really really really hate
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 18:52, archived)

racists! /brb
I don't hate anything, really

life's too short
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 18:55, archived)

oh come on there must be something

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:05, archived)

has anyone said b3ta yet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:09, archived)

b3ta yet

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:16, archived)

The EU

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:21, archived)

🇪🇺

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:41, archived)

EU, matron

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:42, archived)

carry on, Turing

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:50, archived)

mein EU?
nein!
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:59, archived)

:-(

(Runcorn shitty limits, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:40, archived)

Brexit means Brexit

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:55, archived)

The Power of Love by Jennifer Rush

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:50, archived)

bitch

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:59, archived)

dogs and people who like dogs

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:54, archived)

those mutt loving bastards

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 19:58, archived)

Jews

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:11, archived)

good man

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:33, archived)

Cheers

(Runcorn shitty limits, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:40, archived)

damn right. hard to watch even when smashed.

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:49, archived)

I was more of a Wings fan tbh

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 20:56, archived)

War, why can't we all just get along

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 23:04, archived)

power pyramids. a few bonkers pricks at the top :(

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 5:51, archived)

Insomnia and 4x4 owners

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 2:36, archived)

boring bastards they are

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 21 Jan 2021, 5:53, archived)

yeah, Faithless really are shit aren't they

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 21 Jan 2021, 9:06, archived)

Hi everyone. It's me. Tee Aitch. You know, off the internet!
It's my birthday soon, and I'm hoping for all sorts of fun gifts and surprises. What did you get for your last birthday? Because whatever it was, I bet it was a real treat!
Alternatively, what should you do if you pull back your foreskin and it smells of almonds?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 12:49, archived)

And if you don't have a penus, same question, but the smell is yeast

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 12:49, archived)

I want a refund

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:13, archived)

You'll have to fill in a form if you want a refund

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:36, archived)

Corsair gaming keyboard, it's the shit
Alternatively: dunno, I'm not a medical professional
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 12:56, archived)

I like to play with the mechanical ones in Currys
Well....I used to
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:29, archived)

the penuses, you mean

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:15, archived)

y

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:24, archived)

I can't remember, must not have been notable.
Alt: put a clothes peg on your nose.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:04, archived)

Bit ungr8ful m8

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:29, archived)

alright 'the chicken song'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:21, archived)

Running shoes
Alt: last time I smelt almonds I had a stroke
(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:14, archived)

Everyone's getting shoes
And there's nowhere to go
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:30, archived)

1. stop fucking Mrs Marzipan.

For my birthday I got some shoe
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:22, archived)

Ah some shoe....but not shoes
Clever
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:30, archived)

it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago
Got some trainers and a watch.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:23, archived)

So you can run on time hahahaha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:28, archived)

idgi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:30, archived)

Hahaha

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:34, archived)

nope, lost on me

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:39, archived)

YOU are a card

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:40, archived)

ca tu
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:47, archived)

c ret
(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:51, archived)

~~ard~~ unt
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:21, archived)

Jill biden y/n

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:50, archived)

Sure why not

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:54, archived)

only if she lezzes it up with Janet Yellen

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:55, archived)

Well, I'd not do Doug Emhoff
so there.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:28, archived)

Last birthday I got some money and maybe I'm mixing up birthday and christmas but I think I also got a theremin and some bagpipes.
The bagpipes have stayed in their box.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:44, archived)

I'm not fucking surprised

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 13:52, archived)

A sword
And some disturbed stuff and money. Also, your cock seems to be full of cyanide
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)

A sword? Why?

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:09, archived)

She said she was thinking of being a mature student

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:36, archived)

Because my nephew refused to buy me a crossbow

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:38, archived)

I've got my great (I think) grandfather's dress sword which he wore to the coronation of George (again, I think) V
cool huh

my dad apologised when he handed it on to me, because it's not straight from when he used to hit his younger brothers with it when he was a boy
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:46, archived)

My uncle "confiscated" a sword from an Argentinian soldier the Falkland Islands scuffle
he's said I can have it. It's a fucking nasty piece of kit, modern killing weapon with a scabbard. I'm gonna collect it before heading back to London so I can play that "this is a knife..." "no, this is a knife" Crocodile Dundee game with the local youts.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:49, archived)

My kids normally just get me some beers , less than a month to my and my daughters birthday. Still dont know what to buy her, gutted her 18th will be lockdown

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:17, archived)

that fucking sucks eh
poor kid
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:22, archived)

Yeah , turning 18 and cant see your mates or go up the pub , on my birthday last year a fella collapsed and we got an ambulance, 6 months later the covid got him

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:28, archived)

It's my wife's 40th in a couple of weeks
Not that we really ever do anything for our birthdays, but still. It would be nice to have the option
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:23, archived)

Yesterday all I wanted to do was sit in a cafe and have a breakfast, damn you covid

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:31, archived)

Yeah, I'd like to just say "who fancies going out for lunch?"
Fingers crossed for the vaccine, eh?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:35, archived)

I had the first jab on 9th January
still ain't been to the pub though
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:40, archived)

Oh cool
You'll be free before you know it!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:04, archived)

What a waste of the vaccine

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:33, archived)

Just posting so that future generations will know that I was here

Let me answer your second question with another question: what should you do if you pull back your foreskin and it smells of Almond's?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:26, archived)

YOU DON'T KNOW ME YOUR BLOCKED

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:27, archived)

^

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:30, archived)

hi twoser
I got some records for my last birthday, which really was a treat.
I could list them for you, but I doubt you'd care.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:31, archived)

Of course I care!
What records did you get?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:36, archived)

oh you're just saying that

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:38, archived)

I just got this ordered
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UayMM8ZivNo
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:42, archived)

I got these
www.discogs.com/Arman-Ratip-The-Spy-From-Istanbul/release/15601418

www.discogs.com/Sharhabil-Ahmed-The-King-Of-Sudanese-Jazz/release/15657596

www.discogs.com/Various-Visual-Impact/release/14540747
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:52, archived)

As I'm sure comes as no surprise, I don't know who these people are
But if you like them, I like them x
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:59, archived)

I only listen to Skee-Lo these days

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:04, archived)

never heard of her

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:09, archived)

you must surely have heard of Various?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:08, archived)

Oh yes
But I prefer their early stuff
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:37, archived)

just having a gander, the first one sounds gr8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:31, archived)

it really is
You might like the Sudanese one and all, more surf guitar than jazz in places
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:49, archived)

you're right, it's great stuff

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 17:03, archived)

Criminal and sex offender

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:39, archived)

Probably the most honest So Solid spinoff

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 16:11, archived)

'world's biggest wanker', and' most mung beans in your mouth in one go'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:43, archived)

well that's where you look silly 'cause the mung bean record was the year before

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:56, archived)

oh MAN I feel like a right dozer

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:22, archived)

On my last birthday (55) I received a CD-R of all the number one hits from 1965 from DJ Muggs. B-Real got me a shower cap and some travel sized shampoo.

(Garold Huzzah!, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:42, archived)

B-Real sounds like a keeper

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 14:53, archived)

He’s a real doll. Not like a ‘Real Doll’ real doll.

(Garold Huzzah!, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:32, archived)

I'm not sure what any of this means, but it sounds jolly exciting

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:00, archived)

You know what? You’re absolutely right.

(Garold Huzzah!, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 15:32, archived)

radio 2 are playing nelly the elephant
Off she went with a trumpetty trump trump trump trump

Lol
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:15, archived)

haha, ding dong the witch is dead!!!1
Haha, let's make RATM teh Xmas no.1!!

Haha!!!! Let's go viral and have a flash mob!!! Yeah, come on everyone, join in!!!

CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS CUNTS FUCKING CUNTS
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:27, archived)

CUNTS, I mean

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:28, archived)

Hey there. Woah. Cool your jets, man
Why so angry, man? Chillax, brother
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:29, archived)

CUNTS m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:35, archived)

Would you like me to sing to you?
Perhaps burn some essential oils, while we talk about our feelings?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:37, archived)

Surely bumming him using essential oils as lubricant would have the opposite effect.
I imagine that would be quite nippy.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:41, archived)

I'm thinking 'drum circle'?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:42, archived)

Oh, what a lovely idea!
Later on, I'm facilitating a dreamcatcher making seminar, if you're interested?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:56, archived)

totes.
totes and blates.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:03, archived)

those well known anti-capitalists RATM with their record deal with well known independent imprint, Sony.
Not exactly Fugazi principles, is it?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:33, archived)

Well, they got plenty of stick back in the early 90s for that
and their defence was always that it was the best way to get their message out there. If they'd been on a tiny independent label, nobody would have heard them or their message.

Now here you are 30 years later still talking about them and their political principles, so it looks like it worked.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:37, archived)

might kill myself

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:42, archived)

in b4 queef

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:47, archived)

seconded

(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:41, archived)

tbf though the 'tiny indie label' defence doesn't really hold any water

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:02, archived)

I believe Tom Morello is active on Twitter, you can tell him directly.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:08, archived)

The weekend on sunday is totally where you should be dude

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:09, archived)

nice glass of Dutch wine?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:16, archived)

<s> sellout

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:34, archived)

Check out the bouquet on this
*pfffarrfppppfffffffff*
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:36, archived)

I cracked the code! Letter 1 from the first word, letter 2 from the second word, etc. *spoiler* it spells CUNTS

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 16:41, archived)

that's pretty edgy for radio 2

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:31, archived)

it made me dun a larf

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:40, archived)

I've just been sent a voucher for a free viewing of a movie on Rakuten TV
The list of titles available to watch reminds me of the £1.99 bargain-bin of VHS tapes you'd get in Woolworths, near the checkout, movies I'd never heard of, films to avoid - like the rest of the viewing public.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:42, archived)

imgur.com/n9Ohiov
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:46, archived)

Rakuten executives:
"Let's spend a grand on the rights for LOTR and use the remaining £500 to buy five hundred other films for a pound each."
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:51, archived)

wow!

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:51, archived)

Wow. You lucky boy

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:57, archived)

imagine having access to all those...at the touch of a button...

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:14, archived)

It truly is the best time to be alive

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:32, archived)

"Echo Boomers"
Did they just use a random word generator to come up with these titles?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:45, archived)

Also, apparently Robin's Wish was to be resurrected as a melting waxy android.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:46, archived)

Guy playing pool in front of some enormous heads

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:12, archived)

Turtle power!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:28, archived)

And when I say guy, I mean "giant albino bodybuilding giger cosplayer"

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 11:57, archived)

morning
I wonder if the yanks are going to kick off again today. My prediction is 'yes, but not near the inauguration now that the areas is full of heavily armed soldiers'.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:43, archived)

don't kick the yankee
My eyes are full of sleep. Lovely day tho, well worth getting up for
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:46, archived)

fuck ya then

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:54, archived)

well really

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:07, archived)

sick of the sight of you tbh xx

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 10:24, archived)

morning
I predict plenty of sabre-rattling today, probably a bombing by the end of the week when the Secret Service have relaxed
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:47, archived)

the thing I hate about cunts like trump is he'll get someone who seems half decent shot
But not get shot himself, wanker
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:49, archived)

*waits for Hitler shooting himself comment*

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:50, archived)

of course
he has no problem throwing other people into the firing line

"muh bone spurs" when it comes to taking a stand himself, though
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:52, archived)

he said 'I'll be right there marching with you' to the pricks storming the Capitol
then ran away to watch it all kick off on telly
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:53, archived)

exactly
"I'll be right there with you...in spirit"
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:56, archived)

~~omb~~ umm
~~ecret Service~~ phincters
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:52, archived)

I think there'll either be a pre-filmed inauguration ceremony put out, followed by a few days of confusion with everyone saying something different happened. Or there'll be a media blackout and the emergency broadcast system will get used to tell them Trump's not going anywhere. Either way I don't think Biden's going in. America has been very entertaining the last few months.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:16, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:27, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:39, archived)

Well, yes, they're always kicking off somewhere
it's a very shooty deathy place so it'll be same shit as usual.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:31, archived)

hullo
how's Mr garold doing?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:40, archived)

He was fine when we spoke last night
I think we're getting a kitchen extension. Yay.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:44, archived)

I'm 'getting a kitchen extension' as I type this

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:51, archived)

How's that going down with the neighbours?
single story or double story? What kind of cladding? How many people are involved? Have you been sharing pictures? Will it take long to get up?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:04, archived)

I wanted wood, but could only afford laminate
I'm not sure what I mean by this
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:04, archived)

Not too late to stop the steal

(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:45, archived)

that's the spirit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 8:52, archived)

I think they're going to behave themselves
They've seen what happens when they don't. And they don't have a white nationalist government to pardon them now. I think they'll just crawl back under the rocks they came from
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:00, archived)

I mean, WANKY WANK WANK WANKY WANK WANKY WANK

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:01, archived)

so true

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:16, archived)

He'll start a compound somewhere with all his followers and their families
declare independence from the government. and ultimately go full jim jones or david koresh
(dribble, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:20, archived)

I'm OK with this

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:28, archived)

Fucking twat doesn't have the skills to mix a big tup of Kool-Aid without help.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 9:43, archived)

goodnight
www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8Uw1cl4xjg
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 22:28, archived)

morning

(

Cheers Cheers, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 0:23, archived)

morning

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:46, archived)

Has anyone here had to deal with this issue at work?
b3ta.com/links/I_had_to_complete_a_code_of_conduct_training_module_at_work_today
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 19 Jan 2021, 20:16, archived)

I never read any of those. Skip to the end . Pass general human quiz, bum who you want

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 20:39, archived)

*promotes to head of HR*

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 19 Jan 2021, 21:20, archived)

Bribery and corruption was always my favourite online learning . Always put in the comments take cash

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 21:25, archived)

Post it in calendar and qotw too.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 21:51, archived)

#bafr

(dribble, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 23:55, archived)

I have to deliver those training sessions :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 22:11, archived)

:(

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 19 Jan 2021, 22:13, archived)

:'(

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 22:33, archived)

~~training sessions~~ punishment bummings
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 20 Jan 2021, 7:32, archived)

Yes
It's included in pre-interview courses now
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 22:23, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:23, archived)

just had an order from a Brian Potter

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:30, archived)

we have a client called Willie Poosniffer.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:34, archived)

haha, we don't really!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:34, archived)

ofc not, you can't be your own client, can you Willie?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:36, archived)

IT'S SOMEONE ELSE, HONEST!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:37, archived)

your other personalities don't count a separate individuals

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:42, archived)

this is a bit unexpected

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:44, archived)

most of life is, tbh

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:54, archived)

not bad, not bad
just enjoying a bit on music and contemplating dinner
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:36, archived)

doesn't sound too painful

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:46, archived)

it really isn't
in theory, i'll be having jumbo king prawns with peppers, mushrooms and spring onions in oyster sauce. in reality, however, i suspect i'll have one too many gins and end up eating the prawns straight out of the packet whilst i watch the two towers again
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:53, archived)

lol

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:55, archived)

pappardelle with 'nduja here, should be good
I've also still got a couple 2-portion bags of ox cheek ragu in the freezer to have at some point - my finest ever pasta sauce by a long chalk. In the end it took 5hrs to cook but fuck me, well worth it in the end:

www.thebrickkitchen.com/2016/07/slow-braised-beef-cheek-ragu-parpadelle/
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:12, archived)

i love a good, slow-cooked sauce
although i don't eat pasta very often, as i can only manage a small amount. might make some pea and ham soup this week, need to get motivated to give the entire house a thorough deep clean first
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:24, archived)

I made soup for the whole week yesterday and it was boss

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:36, archived)

I make lots of soup

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 22:22, archived)

Yeah, time for a tin of numbers

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:40, archived)

I'm holding out for 5pm here
Got 10 Stellas in the fridge calling my name though
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:45, archived)

I've been in from work since 2 so I've held out ok

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:46, archived)

alrightest alright thread of the day

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:53, archived)

y

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)

I am l33tw0lf, ama!
/ac
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:06, archived)

I thought you were 'normal farts'?
It's fucking hard work trying to keep up with you m8, it really is
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:18, archived)

I'm a fucken social chameleon m8

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:32, archived)

so, you stick to walls and change colours at parties?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:38, archived)

nope

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:45, archived)

^ square

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:01, archived)

evenin

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 17:32, archived)

I worked out I can access b3ta from work by creating a virtual windows machine on my Synology Nas and then connecting to that to browse the web.
Although it's a bit slow and trying to click pictures of fucking crosswalks became too painful so I'm just using my phone instead
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:15, archived)

sounds like you need NORDVPN
when i worked in government, even tho i was at the top the it policy was infuhriating, so i just connected to my home pc from work. it was handy because tbh i was a real workaholic so i was hardly ever at home at all.
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:25, archived)

~~NORDVPN~~ RAID SHADOW LEGENDS!
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:36, archived)

555,000 characters and 10,000 new ones added every month!
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:51, archived)

we get it, you Auschwitz

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 18:58, archived)

are you auschwitz me?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 19:22, archived)

Sounds pretty insecure

(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 19:23, archived)

Dozer, I mean

(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 19:23, archived)

hello it crowd

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 20:12, archived)

NEW THREAD BEBBEH
Alright wanker's, how's it going?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:22, archived)

n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:33, archived)

it's going 'no', is it?
thank you for your invaluable contribution
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:40, archived)

that's exactly how it's going

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:41, archived)

excellent news

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:46, archived)

I never said never ever, you took the word's right out of my mouth

(dribble, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:46, archived)

I had to google that
When I did so, I was very pleased that I had to google that
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:48, archived)

good
except I’m at work at a job I hate

apart from that everything’s groovy
(sticklebrlcks 🍎, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:49, archived)

are you still lolpoor?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:56, archived)

^£4 pint man irony alert

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:18, archived)

alright Gaye Bykers on Acid
fucking loved this when it came out

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrAGvWtEPc4
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:59, archived)

fuck me that was 35 years ago :(

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:06, archived)

Might go home

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:54, archived)

I would knock off if I could, not in the mood for it today

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:17, archived)

I'm in no rush to go and sit indoors all afternoon, but sitting here doing fuck all seems stupid

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:20, archived)

that's what I'm doing today, it's alright

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:47, archived)

love Shaq, bebbeh, love Shaq
this week is dragging its heels so far

today's album recommendation from "1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die" was "Paul Simon", by Paul Simon
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 11:57, archived)

Are you sure you haven't misread '1001 Albums Which When You Hear Them You Will Want To Die'?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:04, archived)

it's too early to tell so far
So far it's recommended Beach House, Eminem, Willie Nelson, Meatloaf and now Paul Simon

that all sounds very 'Times on Saturday' now that I've written it out
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:09, archived)

never heard of Beach House, the internet tells me they are 'dream pop' which is a concern

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:16, archived)

I thought it was great for chilling out to
you'd have to be in the mood mind
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:19, archived)

for me, chilling out = dub/roots reggae

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:33, archived)

Graceland y/n

(dribble, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:02, archived)

Cultural appropriation ahoy, I'm cancelling that album.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:07, archived)

he ripped his co-contributors off big time on that record
the four foot wankstain

In fairness the final product was so utterly shit no-one should have got paid for it
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:10, archived)

fuck. no.

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:09, archived)

'holiday' this week, sorting out stuff in the filing cabinet.
Tax return to do, last one now that I've got a proper job. Just shredded my payslip from the summer placement I did with Boots in 1996, I don't think they're going to ask me for that now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:41, archived)

did my tax last week - mine's a piece of piss though, just have to list my rental income and expenditure, my 'real' income is filled in automatically

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:38, archived)

Bored out of my mind
Need a job
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:51, archived)

You can have mine if you want
as long as I get to keep my salary
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:53, archived)

I'll pass
Tattoos don't pay for themselves, you know
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:11, archived)

Also
+bie
(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:53, archived)

Also
j kn
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:39, archived)

You never know

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:41, archived)

Where's my new fucking guitar then?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 12:56, archived)

I want a telecaster, the spec of which apparently doesn't exist off the peg
And a custom shop job will set me back nearly four grand. Something to save up for, I suppose
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:28, archived)

I rather fancy this one
www.andertons.co.uk/fender-vintera-60s-tele-bigsby-white-blonde-0149883301

EDIT actually I think it's nicer in sunburst
www.andertons.co.uk/guitar-dept/electric-guitars/telecaster/fender-vintera-60s-tele-bigsby-3-tone-sunburst
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:43, archived)

I've always fancied a Vox Phantom, the 60s garage punk guitar du jour, or a Teardrop
I don't know if they're supposed to be terribly good guitars but man they look t3h B1DN355
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:48, archived)

Didn't Ian Curtis rock a Vox?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:55, archived)

yes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:13, archived)

fuck knows
Brian Jones did, that I do know
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 15:02, archived)

Yeah, those vinteras look really cool

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:02, archived)

I would very much like to have a try on a Tele
but I'm not bothered about it being particularly nice. I've got a friend who has a Squier Telecaster, I'll ask if I can borrow that at some point. I'll restring it and give it a setup in return.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:54, archived)

the only half decent electric I've ever owned is a tele

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:55, archived)

I've got an SG
I like it a lot, but it's quite fragile - I'd never take it out of the house.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 15:09, archived)

I have an epi SG which looks fantastic but it needs setting up, it's never been quite right: buzzy frets here and there etc
Looking at eBay, I've made some money on it, it would appear:
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Epiphone-Les-Paul-SG-Custom-61-G-400-Ivory-Amazing-Condition-Hard-Case/124519423353
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 15:36, archived)

in my loft alongside Hitler's SSD

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:39, archived)

What?
His Waffen-SS...D?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 15:10, archived)

y

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 16:10, archived)

Alright
Martin Luther King Day yesterday, so all is quiet at work. But more importantly, how are YOU, Boyce?
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:26, archived)

meh, ticking over at best

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:44, archived)

I feel you, brother
But I don't feel your brother
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:03, archived)

Do you work for at and t?

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:48, archived)

arse, tits and todgers?
he sure does
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:51, archived)

Well then where's my fucking delivery eh

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 13:57, archived)

Work is such a subjective term
But yes, I do
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:02, archived)

I thought so , I get a lot if materials delivered by a company called at and t, logo looks similar but they are wholesalers, I'd sue

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:06, archived)

I'll get right on it, cheers forum pal

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:08, archived)

Unless it is your company, I dunno
attgb.co.uk/wholesale/
(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:09, archived)

Wow
Now that is interesting
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 14:16, archived)

morning wanky poo shit bum smells

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 7:31, archived)

you sound a little...gassy, Hitler

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 8:08, archived)

so much gas. not sure what to do with it

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 8:22, archived)

poo bum willy pants

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 19 Jan 2021, 8:09, archived)

Wanky wanky wanky wank wank wanky wank wank

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 8:39, archived)

My partner's got covid now
FFS...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 8:57, archived)

Not really surprising, I'm more surprised its took him this long, unless this is a reinfection

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:07, archived)

My strategy of moving several hundred miles away has been vinciated
he's said he's very glad I'm not living at home right now. He's had a Pfizer jab and clearly has some immunity built up, but I'd be facing a full-on attack of the virus. I'd really rather not play that game of Russian roulette.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:20, archived)

vinciated?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:46, archived)

as long as he hasn't had his last supper

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:48, archived)

This took me a couple of moments to get

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 10:12, archived)

May he get well soon
in the meantime, you can eat all the garlic you like
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:09, archived)

He's hardly ill at all, just an upset stomach
he called in sick, didn't connect any of his symptoms with the 'rona but his boss told him to get a test anyway. He's genuinely shocked that it came back positive.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:18, archived)

It's so weird
My sister had it, and had breathing problems and fatigue; her son had it, no symptoms at all; her partner and their daughter didn't catch it at all.
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:21, archived)

My mum works in primary care and they've had
plenty of sick, elderly people with very few symptoms, but they really are the minority in the over 70s. And yes, lots of younger people suffer very badly. It's Russian roulette and the older you are, the more underlying health problems you have the more bullets in the chambers.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:24, archived)

Hopefully this pandemic will help put an end to the 'office hero who comes to work even though they feel unwell' culture

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:34, archived)

Wont happen until everyone gets full sick pay and not ssp

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:39, archived)

that's a fair point
it's something they have a real problem with in the US, people not being able to afford to be off sick.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:53, archived)

oh man :(
you've been expecting this eh
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:14, archived)

It's one of the reasons I skipped town
yeah. I'll also feel a lot better about moving back in a few weeks as I can be pretty sure I'll not get it from him from now onwards.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:22, archived)

Wishing him a speedy recovery, old boy x

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:18, archived)

Cheers
he's actually pretty chipper - a few weeks on from his vaccination he's pretty resilient.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:22, archived)

👍

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:24, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 19 Jan 2021, 9:15, archived)

alrite

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 19:40, archived)

Sweet

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 19:42, archived)

Safe

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 19:43, archived)

k

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 19:56, archived)

n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 19:58, archived)

Kind of

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 20:03, archived)

got 'the shits'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 20:24, archived)

by which I mean 'your parents have come round'

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 20:26, archived)

come round to what? progressive ideas?
i doubt it
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 20:28, archived)

Like son, like father.

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Mon 18 Jan 2021, 23:38, archived)

Yeah what up?
I was too hungover to cook yesterday so I'm doing a Sunday roast tonight, which I'm pretty sure is actually illegal under UK law.

How are YOU a super-tough rebel who won't let anything stand in their way?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 15:57, archived)

we just had cake BEFORE dinner

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:00, archived)

no WAY

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:10, archived)

why?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:19, archived)

cake was ready
dinner wasn't
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:40, archived)

I fitted 26 mirrors to my moped

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:00, archived)

^bellboy

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:11, archived)

~~boy~~ end
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:11, archived)

~~bell~~ rent
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 18 Jan 2021, 18:13, archived)

oh ~~ellb~~
(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 20:08, archived)

~~fitted 26 mirrors to my mo~~ am a +o
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:14, archived)

lol

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:22, archived)

cheers

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:46, archived)

and yet the mods do nothing

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:36, archived)

these days, if you have a Monday roast, you get arrested and thrown in jail

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:03, archived)

what just for having a Sunday roast?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:05, archived)

yeah, just for having a Monday roast

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:05, archived)

oh right that makes more sense

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:06, archived)

I ordered a mask-exemption lanyard from Amazon

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:17, archived)

YEAH!!!
Stick it to the man!! Give me freedom or give me death!!

And when I say 'give me death' I mean 'give death to everyone around me as I swan around infecting vulnerable people with a deadly virus'
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:20, archived)

What a self-serving prick
Me, I mean
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:22, archived)

Imagine if HIV could be present in breath, the whole world would be fucked

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:25, archived)

haha, imagine if you could catch it from sound
You could call it hearing AIDS!!!!!!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:26, archived)

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:27, archived)

Now you can join the other bell ends in ASDA spreading germs

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:21, archived)

I only shop at Waitrose

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:26, archived)

I think "they" should have their own supermarket

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:22, archived)

Disableds, I mean

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:22, archived)

isn't that just netto?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 18:19, archived)

nah, that's the guy off Fantasy Football League

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 20:42, archived)

I made a beef in ale stew this morning in the slow cooker
Just put some dumplings in and it smells amazing.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:19, archived)

I do love a beef stew, but I must confess I'm not sure how this marks you out as any kind of renegade here, soz

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:21, archived)

The TV was switched off while he cooked it, that’s pretty rebellious

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:25, archived)

wow OK that's different

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:27, archived)

~~a beef stew, but I must confess I'm not sure how this marks you out as any kind of renegade here, soz~~

gay sex
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:25, archived)

don't think I didn't see that strikey failure m8-o

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:28, archived)

lol

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:31, archived)

Creeping sharia

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:23, archived)

I'm sorry m8, this don't impress me much

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:24, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8289639
(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:25, archived)

I'm not making dinner at all!
Imagine that!
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:54, archived)

And as for the 'rebel' portion of the question
I fart out the front
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:54, archived)

Oh, I had some leftover filo, so I made some samosa type things yesterday
They were pretty beezer, I suppose
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:56, archived)

I do like a samosa
But I also like a gyoza

I'm just mad like that!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:06, archived)

You're mad, you are!

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:13, archived)

Wh-whaat? B-but hooowww?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:03, archived)

It's really weird
I just sat down, and dinner is sort of...happening. I just can't explain it. Might call fucken Arthur C Clarke
(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:04, archived)

I think you'd better, m8
This is just too fucken weird
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:04, archived)

I almost knocked a loud four-year-old flying with my shopping basked in the supermarket just now
completely by accident, of course
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 16:59, archived)

sure, riiight, by accident, riiight
*rubs chin*
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:04, archived)

you can't prove nuffink

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:09, archived)

just because I can't prove it, doesn't mean it's not true

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:12, archived)

^ QAnon

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 17:17, archived)

THREADRUSH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:21, archived)

what's for elevenses's

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:30, archived)

mushrooms

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:32, archived)

what's for twelvsies?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:43, archived)

dunno
but the kids finish their lessons at 1, so we're going to make a date and walnut cake
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:45, archived)

braw, have hallucinations with that

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:43, archived)

braw, don't have needles with that
www.insider.com/man-injected-with-mushrooms-grew-in-blood-caused-organ-failure-2021-1
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:50, archived)

yeah, i read about that
silly cunt
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:51, archived)

what

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

YOU HEARD

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 12:24, archived)

i've got loads to do and so I'm not doing it

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 12:29, archived)

best way to get things done, I find

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 12:35, archived)

I had to bond a gas meter , about 10m run, that's it for my whole day , I finished hours ago

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 12:41, archived)

I've been flat out since 7:30
As a result I am now pretty much up to date, which is nothing short of a miracle.

Also it looks like Mrs Q might get a vaccine offer this week: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55698132

She's in the 'clinically extremely vulnerable' bracket.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:23, archived)

Fingers crossed eh , few old fellas from my local have had it , no problems

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:26, archived)

yeah same with some of my mum's neighbours
a couple have even had their second ones already
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:28, archived)

Not heard fuck all about my dad getting it , he's 84

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:32, archived)

that's not right - could he have ignored the letter/call?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:49, archived)

Nope, not had a letter . I know you are not supposed to call about it but I might give his doctors a ring

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:51, archived)

Yeah I would

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 13:56, archived)

You do keep hearing about admin twats losing huge chunks of databases because they shouldn't be trusted with important things

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:00, archived)

Like this? www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/jan/15/priti-patel-under-fire-as-150000-police-records-accidentally-lost
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:15, archived)

maybe if NHS admin twats spent fewer time on wikipedia and more time on their jobs then this stuff wouldn't happen

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:25, archived)

Glad to see downs syndrome on the list , dozer and his mum can get jabbed now

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:29, archived)

shout going out to the popular page massive

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 15:25, archived)

pPppPpaaarrffffFfFFFFFFrtttttTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:33, archived)

BIG WOBBLY KNOCKERS

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:43, archived)

FANNYS’

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 14:56, archived)

thread rush -> thrush

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 15:12, archived)

Maybe yours will pick up a snail and smash the fuck out of it

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 15:45, archived)

I've never seen a yeast infection do that

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 15:48, archived)

make sure you're standing by the grey stone when it does

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 15:51, archived)

morning

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 0:00, archived)

morning

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 5:39, archived)

alright Hitler

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)

yh u?

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:52, archived)

y/n/m

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:03, archived)

has the steal been stopped yet

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 7:39, archived)

n

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)

can't be long before a cyrus-like figure unites the proud boys, qanon, the nra and all the rest
twenty thousand hardcore members
(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:21, archived)

the shattoo shamans

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:23, archived)

Miley or Billy Ray?

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:25, archived)

the twitter furies

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:26, archived)

caaaan yoouuu dig iiiiiit?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:27, archived)

if that was made now there wouldn't be a big meeting.
his speech would get posted on youtube or something instead, and then the rest of the film couldn't happen.

thanks, technology!
(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:26, archived)

it might be some giant zoom meeting

thanks, covid!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:31, archived)

lol members

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:33, archived)

the upstanding citizens

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:35, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 7:56, archived)

sup

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)

good morning

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:08, archived)

greetings

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:19, archived)

Not again...

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:09, archived)

I thought the sun would have given up by now

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:11, archived)

There's a fair bit of fuel left

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:15, archived)

yep, round and round we go

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:16, archived)

It's things like this that drive a man to drink

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:25, archived)

good morning, and a happy Blue Monday to you all!
Monday 18 January marks 'Blue Monday', the most depressing day of the year. It's the day when the financial pressure of the Christmas just passed hangs over us most, the weather is at its worst, and the extra pounds we've acquired over the holiday season are proving harder to shift than we anticipated.

Woohooooo!!!!!
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:28, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:29, archived)

might kill myself to celebrate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:34, archived)

Thankfully we all lost our jobs last year, meaning we couldn't afford food over christmas and therefore have no weight to shift
silver lining to that particular cloud
(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:34, archived)

funny that, I read this morning that scientists had accidentally discovered the first new blue pigment in 200 years
Crayola are now making it into crayons
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:37, archived)

the ancient Greeks had no word for blue,
In fact the only ancient culture to develop a word for blue was the Egyptians.

How about THAT?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:44, archived)

fancy that

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:48, archived)

the reason the egyptians had a specific work for blue was because they had blue dye
everyone else described blue things as variants of green
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:58, archived)

like those South American tribes who count "one, two, many..."

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:05, archived)

yes I do

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:30, archived)

What about the abos? They had words for everything

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:51, archived)

impossible to say as they never wrote anything down

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 8:59, archived)

Lazy fuckers

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:09, archived)

too busy getting pissed

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:24, archived)

Vietnamese still uses the same word for both blue and green - xanh
Although they do distinguish by saying 'xanh like the sky' or 'xanh like the trees'.
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:06, archived)

Most things are turquoise-ish, then

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:26, archived)

Weirdly the word for turquoise in Vietnamese, ngọc lam, traslates as "dark blue gemstone"
So they clearly have no fucking idea
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:49, archived)

Will probably turn out to give kids cancer in 20 years time

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:20, archived)

Turing's Artificial Hand, you mean

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:24, archived)

I'm like Dr Claw, just a hand in a chair with a plan to take over the world

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:25, archived)

the smithszz

(dribble, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:19, archived)

I'm feeling rather chipper this morning
handed in my notice yesterday
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:19, archived)

got something else already lined up?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:24, archived)

yup
got a cushy civil service job, so you'll be paying my wages soon
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:30, archived)

congratulations
from what I could gather your current employer started taking the piss somehow?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:31, archived)

thanks
yeah, they've been behaving like complete pricks since October, shame really
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:37, archived)

nice one

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:38, archived)

cheers BPD

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:02, archived)

Civil Servants get showered with taxpayer money and the pension scheme is extravagant, just think how much time you can waste on here while the private sector is milked dry!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:12, archived)

pension bore

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:25, archived)

do a socially-distanced shit on the boss' desk

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:56, archived)

Don't worry
This was just bollocks made up by a travel agent to sell holidays.
(

Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:04, archived)

morning cheers alright

(

broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:10, archived)

yo

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:03, archived)

alright

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 9:17, archived)

sound

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Cheers Cheers, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:03, archived)

Alright
And congratulations
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 10:57, archived)

thanks love x

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:39, archived)

Morning

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Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 18 Jan 2021, 11:00, archived)

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