ENORMOUS BAG OF COCK RINGS

(sticklebricks, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:48, archived)

There must be someone who will buy ...

( mongychops, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:50, archived)

How enormous are we talking?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:52, archived)

four calling birds, three french hens etc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:54, archived)

Obvious set up is obvious..

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:55, archived)

Happy cock ring cock ring happy cock
Cock about rings you'd like to do
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:56, archived)

I was watching Gods of Snooker the other day, I didn't know Captain Sensible did the Big Break theme
He really had a dodgy few years that fellow, didn't he
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:58, archived)

Haha, Captain NOT SO Sensible, *I* calls him!
lol!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:01, archived)

haha, you really showed him!!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:24, archived)

The rest of The Damned had better watch themselves with me around, that's all I'm saying!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:26, archived)

haha, I'll bet!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:58, archived)

I knew that song from the unsuccessful Mike Batt musical based on Lewis Carroll's The Hunting of the Snark
which my uncle gave my dad a copy of, and we used to listen to in the car. #FailedMusicalChat #ThatsInterestingPorcupine
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:02, archived)

I mean, where else will you find Cliff Richard, Roger Daltrey, John Hurt and Deniece Williams in the same place?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:04, archived)

called himself Captain Sensible because he was a "debauched maniac"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:04, archived)

I thought his fellow bandmates called him that when he was being a killjoy on a plane, for some reason

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

wikipedia says you are right, Turing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:09, archived)

wiki's always got my back

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:10, archived)

IKYABWAI?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 May 2021, 12:56, archived)

Throwing them out to the crowd, like the burton joker

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:59, archived)

I have no use for those

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

<s> power over them

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:09, archived)

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Tue 25 May 2021, 14:23, archived)

I'm rocking the town without being seen iykwim

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 14:40, archived)

Yes, well
What are YOU up to, today? Being a useful member of society? Wanking into a cocked hat?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 7:37, archived)

Streetlife and he', m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 7:52, archived)

This is life, m8

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:28, archived)

Work's pretty quiet at the moment.
Might spunk on a sparrow later.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 May 2021, 8:09, archived)

Mine too
It's that time of year. Before I know it, I'll have more work than I cope with
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:28, archived)

Being caught up in the middle of a spat between different teams
being shat on by both.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:18, archived)

Sorry, I don't follow football

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:27, archived)

This is all academic
literally
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:30, archived)

Woah
Literally
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

Bloody academics
especially literary academics.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:43, archived)

shya, turdally

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

Grodie, to the max bruh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:43, archived)

Gag me with a spuuuuuuuhn

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

Getting my b12 jab later this morning
Then I have to buy flea stuff and worming pills for the cat
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 8:44, archived)

Sounds like MY kind of shopping trip
shop.fender.com/en-GB/flea-signature-bass?rl=en_US
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:04, archived)

I just can't appreciate that guy's bass playing, he sounds dreadful to me, the whole band does
Am I missing something, as a non-bassist?

I mean that actual bass looks good but that shitty cod-funky slap shit he does seems like sub-Level 42 shit to me
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

RHCP are objectively the worst band of all time.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 May 2021, 9:51, archived)

anyone saying anything positive about RHCP on the internet is required by law to add "before they sucked"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 11:31, archived)

I assume this means before they recorded their first song, played their first gig or perhaps even met each other.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 May 2021, 13:18, archived)

or were born

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:25, archived)

Of everything they've done, I liked this best
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n6D8lB0A9w

Um. I'm currently trying to play one of Flea's basslines but the song is awful, it's just he's doing something technically really difficult so it's just the challenge. As a bassist he's impressive.

I can take or leave RHCP. I think they're very good at what they do and they are definitely entertaining but from that scene I much prefer Jane's Addiction, and I think Living Colour are a lot more interesting.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:56, archived)

Terrible bullying of the lovely Manolith

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:09, archived)

Nothing's Shocking is a great album

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:15, archived)

omg there's some horrendous 'MCing' in the middle of that

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:23, archived)

He's no Pato Banton
But then, who is?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:46, archived)

I'll tell you who, m8
Daddy Freddy.

Check him out on the home of UK reggae MCing - Record Breakers

www.youtube.com/watch?v=11UZtVjbji4
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:49, archived)

jesting aside Daddy Freddy is fucking great
'Ragamuffin Hip Hop' is a masterpiece
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:50, archived)

Jeez, that's incredible
Although, being introduced by Cheryl Baker, then watching her dance. She has to be the whitest woman on British television. And the look on Daddy Freddy's face when they demonstrate the marker. That was priceless
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 11:10, archived)

my favourite bit is mc roy castle saying 'that was lovely'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:00, archived)

Haha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:08, archived)

big roy with the ill shit as ushe
mind you the 'ill shit' didn't work out so well for him in the long term
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:24, archived)

heh
he was serious as cancer
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:31, archived)

medication, medication, medication - that's what he needs
he wants to be the best, but there's a tumour in his chest
whooah medication's what he needs

if he wants to live past Christmas...yeah
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:36, archived)

Burn down his tv studio, then blow the ashes up his arse with a trumpet

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:36, archived)

Roy is a tap dancer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 25 May 2021, 13:27, archived)

he's a prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:33, archived)

garold, I mean

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:33, archived)

Well really!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:42, archived)

I see you're not denying it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:50, archived)

I bought a 70th anniversary Esquire recently
It's fucken beezer. The neck is gigantic. Probably the biggest neck I've ever played
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:44, archived)

Don't want to hear about your porn mag collection, thanks

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:57, archived)

That's fair

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:09, archived)

#BigNeckedGals

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:09, archived)

Twangin' that g string like a boss

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:10, archived)

Double Ds and double chins

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:42, archived)

They're tolerable, but that's about it

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:25, archived)

Had a lie in today. Just off to work. Got to stay till 11 anyway

( mongychops, Tue 25 May 2021, 9:23, archived)

I'm dying for a lie in
Hey! That rhymes!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:10, archived)

I am wanking into a cocked hat for the benefit of society
There.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:29, archived)

we all appreciate it m8, you're doing the Lord's work

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:31, archived)

It's all that I ask, that you try

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 25 May 2021, 10:46, archived)

Would that make it a double cocked hat?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 11:40, archived)

following doctor's orders, i have just quit my job.
i am now going to get shitfaced.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 May 2021, 17:53, archived)

Was that on the prescription too?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 17:58, archived)

self-medicating, m8

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:03, archived)

What were you doing?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 18:09, archived)

working in a sushi factory
12 hour shifts, on your feet the whole time. not very good for someone with circulatory problems in their legs
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:24, archived)

youtu.be/KOjnP8MEB54
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 24 May 2021, 20:18, archived)

My cat would definitely eat the pancakes

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 24 May 2021, 20:25, archived)

Oof, sounds tough.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 22:14, archived)

It's just another day for you and me in paraduff

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 24 May 2021, 22:35, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 May 2021, 7:55, archived)

I can't quite believe that TH hates The People's Princess
I'd say this means he is every bit as responsible for the breakdown of her marriage and subsequent death as the bbc
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:23, archived)

did he hound her relentlessly?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:24, archived)

well, you know what he's like

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:30, archived)

yeah, pretty much

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:36, archived)

[obscene emvee joke goes here]

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 18:43, archived)

She always was, and remains, alweyz in my hart

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 21:59, archived)

Shut up 90nz0.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 22:36, archived)

Thank goodness your personal desires/requirements weren't incompatible with their orders

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 24 May 2021, 22:41, archived)

I wish more patients would unquestioningly follow my commands.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 25 May 2021, 0:01, archived)

Is this a sex thing

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 12:44, archived)

another classic day on /chat here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:41, archived)

Don't worry m8. I'm here to save the fucken day and that

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:47, archived)

thanks

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

phew!
I'm sick of all this shitty rain m8 I tell you, sick of it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:58, archived)

Christ, tell me about it
Haven't even had enough of a break to mow the lawn. It looks like a fucking jungle out there. Honestly, I don't think anyone's ever suffered as much as I do, m8
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

I don't think anyone's ever suffered as much as I do, m8 sometimes it makes me fucking wonder how I keep from going under
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:02, archived)

I have a question
Will the British public ever stop endlessly wanking over WW2 and Princess Diana? Because it's quite clearly become unhealthy now
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:52, archived)

this is the Brexit era
nationalism is going up, not down
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:53, archived)

JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:54, archived)

OK THE ANSWER IS 'NO'
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:04, archived)

Weirdly, I'm not
And I really thought I would be
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

I'd laugh if that Martin Bashir fellow got a senior position in the clergy
Then he'd be 'Bishop Bashir' which seems appropriate
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

You know what? I'd laugh too

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:01, archived)

you'd be right to, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:10, archived)

The Good Old Days, member
when you could safely kill off an unwanted royal wife before she gets foreign asylum and spills all your secrets
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:01, archived)

Her brother accused the BBC of something like "manipulating a young girl"
She was fucking 36
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:02, archived)

He replied in the wrong place, it was meant for charles

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:04, archived)

Blind Patriotism, member
back before the proles questioned everything their government did, decided all politicians are cunts and stopped voting or caring about anything
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:03, archived)

Because there's virtually no one left who remembers the blitz
we can reimagine it to be a glorious happy time of everyone pulling together, helping neighbours, one big community, stiff upper lip to jerry, we shall never surrender
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:13, archived)

Serious question, for anyone to answer
Would you say that a 'veteran' is merely anyone who's served in the armed forces, or specifically someone who has been directly involved in a conflict?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

Or like a doctor but for dogs lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:17, archived)

lol no way lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:22, archived)

in the UK I'd say it means someone who's seen active service
I think in America they have such a boner for their military industrial complex that I expect if you spent two years working in an army recruitment office in Ohio then you'd get the full THANK YOU FOR YOU SERVICE SIR shit for the rest of your life.

tl;dr CUNTS
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:22, archived)

Yeah, see that's my understanding of it too
But I see it in the news all the time, stuff like "Navy veteran Alan Smith (80)". And it's like, what war did he fight in? Too young for WW2, probably too old for the Falklands. I dunno. Just interested to hear what people thought.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:24, archived)

I reckon they're all a bunch of gert prannies

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

Wangers, m8. The lot of em

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:26, archived)

My old man was active during Suez and Cyprus at that age, not wars. So is he a veteran or not? In Cyprus both sides were shooting at him

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:59, archived)

You tell me, I have no idea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:04, archived)

Not sure, he's not fussed, never applied for his medals or anything. But there were certainly issues between ww2 and the Falklands, which wasnt technically a war anyhoo

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:24, archived)

Fair enough
Thank you for pointing it out. I genuinely didn't realise that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:32, archived)

Not at anyone else, mind. Just him.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 15:37, archived)

The joy of being in the signals and a radio operator. Ten foot aerials on your back and next to the officer

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 16:11, archived)

I'd say it's anyone who's been stationed to a theatre of war
Anthony Swofford saw virtually no conflict in 'Jarhead' but the whole experience still fucked him up mentally
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

Assuming you've been deployed somewhere
and done more than just sit about in a van with no worries about driving over an IED at any second, I'd say you're a veteran

Whether that activity be shooting at baddies, or lugging sandbags about to stop a village getting flooded

though I imagine the latter would give you slightly fewer ptsd
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

FUCK SHITPANTS NUGENT. HE IS ALL TOUGH, BUT WHEN IT WAS HIS TIME T5O HAVE BULLE4TS WIZ BY HIS HEAD, HE SHIT HIMSELF HERE AT HOME.
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

It's someone who wins the hearts of the nation by walking up and down the garden like a fucking cunt.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:31, archived)

twitter.com/OhBabyLetMegIn/status/1360208266307993601?s=19
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:32, archived)

Clap for him, peasants, while ignoring that the NHS is in such a state that he found it necessary

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

I watched a Frankie Fraser doc once, he said the Blitz was a criminal's dream - the whole war was
They'd get air raid wardens' uniforms and go out looting bombed shops - the public would help them load vans thinking they were helping protect the shop owners' stuff. And then there was the huge boom in black market goods - they'd sell fuel to rich people for their cars, and all manner of other things, creating contacts with the middle and upper classes that continued after the war, as these were the people with the money to pay for rationed/banned items.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:19, archived)

Let's just gloss over all that eh and pretend that everyone was selfless and moral

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:21, archived)

A bomb hit the Cafe De Paris in Leicester Square
it was full of the rich and fashionable having a good old time. Within minutes of the smoke clearing the site was swarming with cockneys picking over the bodies of the toffs for cash and jewellery. Again, you don't hear about that a great deal.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:27, archived)

By all accounts it was a golden age for burglars and rapists.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 15:35, archived)

b3ta, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 24 May 2021, 15:51, archived)

just had an email from 'testosterone'
Seine Erektionen dauern jetzt 2 Stunden…

Diese Tablette hat die ED VON MEINEM MANN GEHEILT und unser Sexualleben reanimiert!!!
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:09, archived)

Well that's easy for them to say

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:12, archived)

Dysfunction would be funktionsstorung
so EF, surely
(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

Why is everything so much sexier when said in German?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

it's such a beautiful, musical language

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:24, archived)

Maybe it's that everything sounds like either an admonishment
or an order. So sexeh
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

Endorsed by Jeffrey Combs

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:46, archived)

Zwei-stunden Erektionen?
Das wird [I]toll![/I]
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 18:18, archived)

For lunch I mostly had rhubarb and blackberry crumble
now I'd rather like a nap.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

I had shitty tom yum noodles which I tried to trick myself into thinking was real food by putting spring onions, chillies and fresh mint in
It didn't work
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:25, archived)

I bought a shitload of black garlic oil pork tonkotsu ramen
from Japan Centre. They are fucken beezer. Salty as, but really good
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:31, archived)

nice, black garlic is the fackin business

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:34, archived)

*brb klaxon*

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:36, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:44, archived)

I gave a packet of it to a friend of mine
And my youngest said to him "I warn you. Once you've eaten that, all other ramen will be rubbish" 😁
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:42, archived)

well now I'm just going to have to get some aren't I

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:45, archived)

That sounds good

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 24 May 2021, 14:47, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 7:43, archived)

Well that was fun

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:02, archived)

I had a cracking weekend

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:08, archived)

+ -smo

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

We did peopleing
big old meal with guests on Saturday then braved the downpours to go to Soho - visited TWO different cafes!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:22, archived)

we had my wife's mate for lunch Saturday, then got fucking spannered
much of yesterday was spent snoozing on and off, with the occasional restorative large meal here and there
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:26, archived)

I had to have a post-meal with wine lie-down on Saturday afternoon
but can confirm slow-cooking beef and pork from 9am to 2pm makes them very good.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:29, archived)

I'm all about the low and slow these days

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:30, archived)

IQ/reading?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

His rape victims

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 10:04, archived)

^pensioner vin

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 11:44, archived)

Morning , I just noticed the little ride along railway near me has been demolished

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:11, archived)

Some fat bugger got on it did they?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:21, archived)

Edf snatched the land back, but good news they are relocating to hall place. Which is a nice venue than a transformer station

( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:31, archived)

the pub we've taken to going to at the edge of Epping Forest has a little train in the beer garden
it's pretty fucking lame tbh, but then I don't suppose I'm the target audience
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:24, archived)

This is a club , kids loved it
wdmes.co.uk/
( mongychops, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:35, archived)

what's up with it, vanilla face?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

what is up, male child from my local area?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 8:48, archived)

what is up, brother from another mother?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 24 May 2021, 9:21, archived)

Morning queef, got a bit of an itchy toe, might make today challenging but I'll struggle through somehow

( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 24 May 2021, 10:12, archived)

thought's and prayer's m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 May 2021, 10:14, archived)

Probably boneitis. :(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 May 2021, 10:16, archived)

just don't go baking any potatoes

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 24 May 2021, 10:28, archived)

Eltonzzz

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 11:27, archived)

Afternoon
Slept for about 12 hours. Today is the day I fuck the job off
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 24 May 2021, 13:34, archived)

Morning.
Albeit only for another half an hour.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 May 2021, 11:28, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 May 2021, 11:52, archived)

Morning.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 23 May 2021, 13:19, archived)

BIT BLOODY LATE NOW INNIT

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 May 2021, 13:25, archived)

Evening.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 23 May 2021, 13:52, archived)

Aftermevening

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 May 2021, 14:48, archived)

Pre-vening.

Ha ha, 'bazinga' ha ha ha.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 23 May 2021, 15:04, archived)

Woo Yay Houpla!!!
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 May 2021, 16:32, archived)

I've had 3 shits today and they've all been the consistency of soggy weetabix

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 23 May 2021, 20:03, archived)

alright, "Slippery Shits"

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 23 May 2021, 21:46, archived)

morning

(dribble, Mon 24 May 2021, 0:49, archived)

The UK Eurovision entry is dire

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 22 May 2021, 20:46, archived)

not watching
alt: Germany, 0 points
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 22 May 2021, 20:58, archived)

Germany are on now

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 22 May 2021, 21:10, archived)

I hope it was shit

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 22 May 2021, 21:19, archived)

Dire

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 22 May 2021, 21:25, archived)

Hang on, I thought BREXIT MEANT BREXIT?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 May 2021, 21:18, archived)

My lovely horse should win

( mongychops, Sat 22 May 2021, 21:21, archived)

I thought I could hear
the curious tone
(dribble, Sat 22 May 2021, 21:33, archived)

Daz Sampson or gtfo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 22 May 2021, 22:44, archived)

Anvasable using photoshop or other raster graphics editor

(dribble, Sat 22 May 2021, 22:55, archived)

Ok thanks for the update

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 23 May 2021, 0:10, archived)

We deserved every single one of our double-zero points.
OTOH we can't afford to host it next year so all is good.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 23 May 2021, 0:14, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 May 2021, 9:00, archived)

Haha, alright loosers?
I'm back now. What are you now? You can't say "a pathetic loser"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 22 May 2021, 16:13, archived)

A GSWLIUTBBFOGS, obvs.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 May 2021, 16:27, archived)

Or so I've been told.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 May 2021, 16:31, archived)

What are all those?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 23 May 2021, 0:51, archived)

Gay spaz who loves it up the bum-bum from other gay spazzes
Obvs
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 May 2021, 7:59, archived)

I never was any good at cryptic crosswords.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 23 May 2021, 9:04, archived)

Up the pub , drinking , probably have a fight later traditional

( mongychops, Sat 22 May 2021, 17:09, archived)

Keeping it real, I like it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 22 May 2021, 17:11, archived)

pub BBFOGS
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 May 2021, 17:15, archived)

pub RA
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 22 May 2021, 17:28, archived)

Come out you black and tans, come and fight me like a man

( mongychops, Sat 22 May 2021, 17:48, archived)

But all the time I'm thinking of me little Armalite

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:12, archived)

Pissed up and stoned as shit, might get on the schnoz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:03, archived)

Sh-sh-sh-Shoooooe people
Shooby doobidy doo
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:24, archived)

Shoe people were no wimple village in my humble o

( mongychops, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:36, archived)

Where do you stand on Poddington Peas?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:47, archived)

They can stay at the bottom of the fucking garden

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 22 May 2021, 19:40, archived)

Racism.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 23 May 2021, 0:49, archived)

Terrible bullying of Smash Monkey, Queef and mongy. :(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 May 2021, 19:44, archived)

I wish I could get stoned

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:40, archived)

Well wishing won't make it so!
Get out there, ya big lug. Get fucked out of your gourde
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 22 May 2021, 18:48, archived)

I have some incredible hashish
Hope that helps xx
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 22 May 2021, 20:37, archived)

Just got home from work
Couple of pints then bed, back up at 5 to do it all again.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 22 May 2021, 19:39, archived)

Haha, alright loosers?
Fuck it, I'm going out. What are you fuck it I'm doing?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 22 May 2021, 10:34, archived)

ym

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 May 2021, 10:39, archived)

This is your most coherent post ever.
Well done!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 22 May 2021, 11:06, archived)

yn

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 22 May 2021, 12:13, archived)

Alright too’ats

( Richard Shitheels, Sat 22 May 2021, 12:35, archived)

Fuck it I'm getting stoned.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sat 22 May 2021, 13:47, archived)

I told you not to flash your ankles in Saudi Arabia

( Richard Shitheels, Sat 22 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

Right you 'orrible lot
The weekend is here but it sure as shit isn't one for the bbq/beer garden eh.

Up to much now that we're allowed to again? No kid this time for me, got someone over for a big meze lunch 2moz. Just scored big in the 'get rid of the last season's wine at half price' bin in Lidl, that's piss artistry sorted.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:05, archived)

It's my mum's birthday today
so we're taking afternoon tea up, then staying over and going out for tea tomorrow before laughing at Eurovision.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:07, archived)

happy birthday mama porcupine

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:08, archived)

She's probably a lurker, it'd be just like her not to tell me.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:12, archived)

she's me, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:13, archived)

she's me Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your mother
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:15, archived)

insert Star Wars prank "No, I am your mother." here

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 May 2021, 12:38, archived)

mother mutha

/Mace Windu
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 14:03, archived)

haha, with all that wine it's probably going to be a a big *messy* lunch too ahahaha
ahahaha hahaha ahaa
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:08, archived)

Day off today
Then back to work Saturday and Sunday
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:38, archived)

Just had my fortnightly call from the job centre
Who have told me that if my job is damaging my health, I should give it up and I won't be sanctioned. This is very good news, because I've almost passed out twice in the last week.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 21 May 2021, 13:50, archived)

I'm surprised by this, I thought they made everyone do any job offered to them

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 15:22, archived)

Not as surprised as I was
I think it's because the place has such a bad reputation as an employer
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 21 May 2021, 15:31, archived)

Who'd have thought the Japanese were so rough on the labour

( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 16:20, archived)

It's an Irish company

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 21 May 2021, 17:42, archived)

Well then, . Everyman stands behind the men behind the wire up the IRA

( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 18:01, archived)

wow, that is actually excellent news
no more Prawnhub
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 15:52, archived)

The smell is that bad?

(dribble, Fri 21 May 2021, 17:05, archived)

I have superficial thrombophlebitis
I shouldn't be on my feet 12 hours a day
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 21 May 2021, 17:42, archived)

# I have superficial thrombophlebitis #
# Mata au hi made #
# I have superficial thrombophlebitis #
# Himitsu wo shiritai #

# You're wondering who I am (sushi sushi I'm making sushi) #
# Machine or giant ham (sushi sushi I'm making sushi) #
# My farts could kill a man (sushi sushi I'm making sushi) #
# My boss don't give a damn #
( Richard Shitheels, Sat 22 May 2021, 12:38, archived)

be nice to go out somewhere but I'm not putting money on it happening
season's of the summer
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:46, archived)

Wanna bet?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 May 2021, 12:40, archived)

Not much
My mum is going out for lunch, even though she doesn't want to, and to IKEA, even though she hates it there. I just don't ask questions anymore
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 May 2021, 12:19, archived)

lol "mum"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 May 2021, 12:19, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 13:06, archived)

Working tomorrow morning, then I will out for substantial meals till I get fucked
/ac
( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 13:15, archived)

But whomst do you intend to out?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 13:39, archived)

Ginger people, jaccuse

( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 14:30, archived)

Might have another fight with the neighbours.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 21 May 2021, 18:02, archived)

well good morning my lovelies

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:07, archived)

morning g, fuck yeah friday

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:12, archived)

Innit though
and what a wet and windy fucker it is out there too
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

Morning garold.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 8:19, archived)

hi tea (lol)
can you answer my question below re blotters? thanks in advance
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

OK, well a standard dose of MDMA is about 100 mg. As I said, I'm not sure you can fit that on a blotter, even a large one,
and I dunno what advantage that would have over just pressing it into a pill as normal, or selling it as loose crystals. The fact that they were incredibly strong suggests that, if it was MDMA, it was a good deal more than 100 mg, which makes it even less likely.

So I'd suggest that maybe a dealer who wasn't quite as well connected with the big boys at the top of the supply chain as he'd like to be, and couldn't get actual MDMA, had got hold of some research chems off the dark web and put them on blotters (which would make sense, as a lot of those compounds are active at doses of a few mg), but had decided to sell them as "MDMA" since RC's have got a bit of a bad rep due to people accidentally taking far too much and having horrible trips lasting 24+ hours or even, in a couple of cases, carking it.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 9:22, archived)

this predates the dark web but otherwise seems likely
they were fucking fantastic so it's all a bit moot I suppose, no-one got sick or croaked so happy days
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:45, archived)

Sure, but RC's have been around since forever. I mean MDMA itself was an RC once.
They sound great, though. I once had some pills that I'm fairly sure had MDA in. Both trippier and speedier than MDMA - mad open-eye visuals and proper massive body rush. Fuck, they were good. Never come across it since.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 10:10, archived)

I had a great source of 2cb for a while, loved them

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:52, archived)

Only had that a couple of times. Enjoyed it though.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 10:53, archived)

This doesn't sound GMP compliant.
Wait until the MHRA hears about this!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:06, archived)

Not had MHRA, is that a new one that's just come out?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 13:40, archived)

Why can't it be not shit weather?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

Tell me about it, motherfucking tree on the train line shit going off down here

( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:43, archived)

I'm imagining you barking this out in the manner of a grime MC.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

+doing announcements while in his day job as a train driver

(dribble, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:53, archived)

a grime MC Samuel L Jackson
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:04, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302438
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:05, archived)

Never too old
youtu.be/3OEkk2JvEMM
( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:06, archived)

I read about those on the bbc yesterday, they're not very good are they sadly
funny though
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 11:59, archived)

because it's the weekend
shit weather at the weekend is the rule
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:51, archived)

g-man

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:30, archived)

Half-Life 3 announced!
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

I don't know what that is
sorry
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

heh, another Gordon
coincidence or conspiracy?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:42, archived)

b3ta.com/board/11088161
(dribble, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

GOOD MORNING GAROLD
GOOD MORNING EEEVERYONE
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:37, archived)

Someone's got their caps on this morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:40, archived)

hip hip hip hooray
mcbeef has got his caps on and he's coming out to play


lol 'coming out'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:42, archived)

"hip hop hip hooray", surely

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:48, archived)

not much rhymes with garold
*drops mic*
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 May 2021, 8:51, archived)

dru dat

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:03, archived)

Barrelled, and carolled.
Half rhymes include emerald and whorled. If you can't work with that, you're not an MC.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Fri 21 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

barrelled
Harold
carolled
Mahmoud
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 22 May 2021, 10:07, archived)

hello there
debating knocking off or trying to battle through the pain.
Feel like shit at home for £0ph or stay here and feel like shit for £9.10ph
😑
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:23, archived)

Who are you debating with?
because I'm not taking sides on this one.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:25, archived)

me
I guess it depends how bad I feel
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:28, archived)

sta strong hun xoxoxox

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:01, archived)

I'm not sure feeling like shit is worth £9.10ph

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:42, archived)

but stickles has already battled in to work which is almost the worst bit
if you've made it that far and being at home isn't going to be any better one could argue that you might as well suffer and get money for it than not
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:48, archived)

that is true
wearing a mask also reduces the risk of infecting anybody else
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:51, archived)

You're sick with the 'rona?
you trying to kill everyone or something? Who the fuck are you? Priti Patel?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 May 2021, 9:58, archived)

dude has a bad neck I believe, not an infection

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:00, archived)

he's got the neck 'rona!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:01, archived)

+murderer, I'm the lyrical gangster, murderer

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:09, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302385
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:14, archived)

Always reminds me of reece shearsmith now

( mongychops, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:22, archived)

Did it get burned by some kid?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 10:11, archived)

www.google.com/hello

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:33, archived)

www.askjeeves.com/knobsmell

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 May 2021, 10:49, archived)

afternoon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:13, archived)

quiet, boring day for me today

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:19, archived)

+e
day for
today
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:20, archived)

^

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:25, archived)

yo
off fucking sick with a bad neck :(
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:20, archived)

unlucky mon
you suddenly realise how interconnected your nerves are, eh - wiggle your toe: neck pain, scratch your knee: neck pain

it fucking sucks and when I say 'it' I of course mean 'your nan'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:27, archived)

my nan died of a bad neck you insensitive bastard

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:28, archived)

alright ruth ellis grandson

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:39, archived)

:)

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:10, archived)

I gave your nan a stiff necking and she loved it

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:29, archived)

ad urnt

sticklebricks Jacob Dyer
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:38, archived)

^

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 20 May 2021, 14:00, archived)

Sounds great

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 20 May 2021, 22:16, archived)

I fuck around
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:20, archived)

Fantastic footage there from Dunstable Civic Hall

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:25, archived)

I fucked that up didn't I?
Sorry.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:33, archived)

you did really but
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AH7pOUm5s9k
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:08, archived)

Did you watch the acid thing on the bbc last night? I'd love some lsd now

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 14:25, archived)

Yep, great wasn't it?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 14:46, archived)

Brilliant, need to get a tab and watch it again. I was well jell

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 14:48, archived)

watching that guy cracking up laughing really took me back
I don't have anything to do with my old pals who I did all my tripping with any more which leaves me with no-one to drop acid with, my brother's long retired and it's not my wife's bag at all. Shame, I don't really fancy it on my own
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 15:03, archived)

I'd be well up for it if I didn't have a toddler and live about a million miles away.
HTH.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 15:40, archived)

hey let's all have a zoom trip!!!!!
MNEEURGH
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 16:57, archived)

I cant even buy any, asked a dealer about it, nah buy it dark web , sells crack tho ffs

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 15:46, archived)

I think the dark web is defo the place to go, it's how I get my hash (via an ex b3tan), it's remarkably reliable and the quality I've had is impeccable
You'd think it would be ripoff central but it seems not, although I'm sure there are cunts out there
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 16:57, archived)

I guess they have a reputation to protect, just like any other merchant

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 20 May 2021, 17:03, archived)

so my friend tells me, customer reviews are key, and some of these dudes have years of reliable selling history
Really it's much less shady as a customer than meeting up with some prick in the street or going round their house. Getting a jiffy bag through the door with a big lump of dope in it is fucking great.

The problem with LSD specifically is that there are 'research chemicals' out there which are similar in effect but cheaper and nastier - and uninformed customers might think they're getting the real deal and review favourably accordingly. I think perhaps mushrooms might be a better bet.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 17:12, archived)

always the downside to an unregulated market
a mate of mine bought acid off the dark net once and it was delivered in a DVD case, containing a DVD of some popular mainstream film at the time, and the drugs
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 20 May 2021, 17:18, archived)

I used to do runs up to Manchester to get MDMA blotters off my brother when I was a student
They were fucking fantastic, and he'd always hand them over in a kung fu video, I got some absolute belters
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 17:20, archived)

well that's an emphatic win-win there

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 20 May 2021, 17:21, archived)

*annoying nerd voice*
How in Sasha Shulgin's name can you fit an active dose of MDMA on a blotter?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

fuck knows m8, could you not get it into a solution then spray/dip? These things were about 2cm square and thick like cardboard
for all I know they were some mental research chemical, tbh I couldn't care less, they were unbelievably strong
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 18:05, archived)

now I think about it they were unlike anything else I've ever had
made me a small fortune at the time, they were so strong I ended up trimming them down and eating the offcuts as personal
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 18:07, archived)

Off home now, just treated myself to one of these, they see me rollin
www.amazon.co.uk/C-K-MA2654-Wheeled-Rucksack-Plus/dp/B08WN3G852/ref=asc_df_B08WN3G852/?
( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:27, archived)

could really have done with something similar when I was DJing but no, I had to have metal flight cases
weighed a fucking ton they did
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

My backs been playing up lately, so I'm hoping this will help

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:09, archived)

good move I would say

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:11, archived)

Work offered me a shitty 40 quid Stanley one but I think it'll cause more issues being shit

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:15, archived)

Looks good

(dribble, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:21, archived)

Just need some tools now ..oh hahaha

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:25, archived)

Nice big central compartment for sandwiches

(dribble, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:30, archived)

are you calling him fat

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 16:59, archived)

afternoon q'ueef
wazzing it down here and I'm supposed to be going for a run. Weather eh? what's it like
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:40, archived)

hullo m8
it's been a week of extreme wazzery eh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 15:06, archived)

Nice weather for ducklift

(dribble, Thu 20 May 2021, 15:34, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 16:59, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite basidiomycote fungus? I'd have to say Macrolepiota procera.

As Daddy Pig would say, hmmmm, delicious!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 8:38, archived)

Cantharellus cibarius probably.

( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:42, archived)

Classy choice, there.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 9:28, archived)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:26, archived)

Just about to have my first full english this year, it's got mushrooms, hth

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:45, archived)

Does it have baked beans?

( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:49, archived)

Nope, went with tomatoes

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:50, archived)

Good call.

( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:52, archived)

It wasn't great, but it was nice to sit in a cafe again

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 9:16, archived)

Yep
We're under lockdown again- highest rates of infection in north America. We've been open and closed and the provincial government is trying to walk the line between science and commerce and has ended up playing whack-a-mole as a result.

So you don't know from one week to the next whether a pub or restaurant will be open for dine-in or for dining in the garden or only for takeaway.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:24, archived)

It was 13th December to 17th may for London been a long dull winter , still I get my 2nd jab today so I am immortal, unfortunately it seems there can be only one

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:29, archived)

I had my first jab yesterday.
It has been on and off here all along- pubs and restaurants were open while the UK was locked down.

My stepdaughter went to Scotland at the start of 2020 to study for her Masters degree and has barely been out of her house ever since.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:30, archived)

Been tough on the kids

( mongychops, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:41, archived)

She's probably going to stay on
Get her certificate and make some money there before she comes back to Canada.

Get out and about and do the things she was originally intending to do when she first went over.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:10, archived)

Can't say I disagree with that
Much as it would be nice to have her back home, it would be a missed opportunity for her to spend two years studying in a foreign country and see jack fucking shit.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:14, archived)

Other than that Alberta has been a great place to live.

( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:30, archived)

Good friend of mine moved to Alberta last year, as it happens.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 12:20, archived)

To a city or outside one?
Calgary and Edmonton are modern cities. I live in a town that's redneck central- and have done for the last seven years.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 20 May 2021, 12:32, archived)

my uncle lives in Edmonton and my father grew up in Ontario
how about THAT
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 13:12, archived)

Edmonton.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 13:17, archived)

Morning
Feeling rather delicate today
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 20 May 2021, 9:07, archived)

Booze, shoe or both?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 9:29, archived)

Both

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 20 May 2021, 10:03, archived)

Nice one

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 20 May 2021, 10:29, archived)

=Booe

(dribble, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:01, archived)

Shooze

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:07, archived)

Nu

(dribble, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:14, archived)

you shooze, you lose

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:14, archived)

Take it you're not actually preggers, then.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 May 2021, 13:17, archived)

No, thank fuck

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 20 May 2021, 16:52, archived)

morning, knobkin's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 20 May 2021, 10:43, archived)

high queef

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 20 May 2021, 11:07, archived)

Corn Smut.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Thu 20 May 2021, 15:50, archived)

You kinky. Mother. Fucker.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 May 2021, 10:39, archived)

sad day
our kettle's died. How's your morning?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:15, archived)

rip kettle
the guy from the water's just come round to read the meter and he was a thoroughly nice man
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:23, archived)

Rip Kettle would be a good name for a suspiciously right-wing action hero.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:25, archived)

morning, pretty good, I've got a working kettle and I'm gonna use it

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:24, archived)

Well, luckily for us I'd already made a huge mug of tea
and a caffittiere full of coffee so we're okay
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 20 May 2021, 8:45, archived)

ED WOOD'S CAESAR HANS
is still the best idea I've ever had.

Alt: What's for fooooooood? I just had the mushroom risotto, which is very good.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 19 May 2021, 14:05, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302184
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 15:06, archived)

Thanks man.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 19 May 2021, 16:42, archived)

Any time, br(b)o.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 18:04, archived)

Just had a fight with the cunt builder the cunts next door got round to ruin the front of their cunt house.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:12, archived)

Cunt - House! Who lotta cunt! Prizes to be wunt!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 15:23, archived)

Cuntdown

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:34, archived)

Escape to the Cuntry

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:36, archived)

N.W.A. - Straight Outta Cunton

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:37, archived)

Blur - Cunty House

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 19 May 2021, 21:22, archived)

Did you ask him where his tool was

(dribble, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:46, archived)

MMNNGGG I’m Bob the builder and I like it in my toolbox from other Bob the builders.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 20 May 2021, 4:20, archived)

You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking house!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:53, archived)

At one point the neighbour came out to tell me that 'James was very upset that your wife called him a scumbag last week'.
To which I answered 'Actually she called him a misogynist but clearly he doesn't know what that means so he called himself a scumbag instead because he's a stupid cunt'.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:59, archived)

I am enjoying your passion today.
I can feeeeeel your anger. It makes you stronger.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 19 May 2021, 16:43, archived)

Did you say those exact words though?
Bet you didn't.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 19:48, archived)

Well actually I shouted them out of the window of my Honda Accord
as I was doing doughnuts in the driveway with my hand through the sunroof giving him the middle finger.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 19 May 2021, 20:00, archived)

I hope you noncepunched him while on MASSIVE DRUGS.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 20:37, archived)

I have to get up for work in 4 hours and I am utterly cunted
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 20 May 2021, 0:38, archived)

Mchana mwema

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 12:33, archived)

why don't you just fuck off back to bongo bongo land?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 12:43, archived)

ps carhartt have some nice stuff in their sale

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 12:52, archived)

everything I've liked the look of is sold out but still listed
poor website management, ahm oot
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:22, archived)

I 'snapped up' a nice 'snapback' hat!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 13:30, archived)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 18:05, archived)

For fuck's sake, must you really be so ignorant?
It's been called the Democratic Republic of sBongobongo since 2012.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 13:29, archived)

Yes.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

Some good deals for you foood ponces
www.virginexperiencedays.co.uk/food-and-drink/london
( mongychops, Wed 19 May 2021, 12:50, archived)

wow, you're not wrong, some bargains there

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

Can confirm Marco Pierre White steakhouse does nommy food

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 May 2021, 14:29, archived)

Igqirha lendlela nguqongqothwane

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:21, archived)

That was never proven m8, this is libel

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:22, archived)

but muh free speech!!!!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:29, archived)

Çhéęrš

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:46, archived)

Hi Al!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

Hi Betty

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

yo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 13:52, archived)

Góðan daginn

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 7:43, archived)

hi mum

(dribble, Wed 19 May 2021, 7:49, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 7:55, archived)

wæs hæil

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 7:57, archived)

thanks m8, that means a lot
/ac
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

The góðan daginn girl is mine
morning
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:19, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

it's a beautiful day here in sunny oxford.
How are you all doing?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 May 2021, 8:25, archived)

hello windy
it's horrible and rainy here and work is v quiet, but we've got my wife's mate coming for lunch on Saturday (her first time seeing a friend in well over a year : a pretty big deal) so having fun planning a middle eastern/Turkish meze type spread. Hopefully not too long til we can meet up with you lot
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

Yeah, I'm looking forward to popping down to old London Town and having a beer up
We had a big Turkish dinner the other night and I thought of you both after that nice dinner we had with Gilbert and George.

We've also got friends round at the weekend which is going to be the absolute best.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 May 2021, 8:44, archived)

magic, enjoy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:49, archived)

well well well

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:34, archived)

+anksm+
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:39, archived)

alright, Roots Manuva

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 9:38, archived)

I have just had an order from Annunziata Rees-Mogg

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:50, archived)

is there a way to maybe get someone in the warehouse to shit in the box?
i don't mind putting some money in for him
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 May 2021, 8:52, archived)

I'll see what I can do

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 8:54, archived)

from the Rees-Mogg coat of arms:
"1st, between two Spearheads erect Sable a Cock proper (Mogg)"
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 19 May 2021, 9:05, archived)

Well he's not wrong.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 10:39, archived)

Your direct-to-front-door crack'n'hooker business
really is going great guns isn't it?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 19 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

lockdown's been a major boon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 9:20, archived)

take your protein pills and put your helmet oon


lol helmet
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 10:29, archived)

helmet helmit

of the peanus, you see
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 19 May 2021, 10:40, archived)

ah

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 11:04, archived)

mourning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 19 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

no, just having a shit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 9:20, archived)

Morning queef, episode of Frasier I hadn't seen before this morning, it's a dole scum Wednesday miracle

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 19 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

result
morning
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 9:23, archived)

Have weed with that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 19 May 2021, 15:33, archived)

pænus

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 19 May 2021, 11:55, archived)

p
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 19 May 2021, 12:35, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 12:09, archived)

*sympathy reply*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 12:09, archived)

Mr. Tea

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 12:24, archived)

Yes

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 12:14, archived)

well that's good to know, anything happening in the mongyverse?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 12:24, archived)

Nope, just having a pint in the awful spoons in the former marquee club , then probably go home

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 12:27, archived)

Fuck, I had no idea that had happened to the marquee

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 18 May 2021, 14:40, archived)

oh

( Richard Shitheels, Tue 18 May 2021, 12:33, archived)

not bad thanks

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 12:42, archived)

sure enough, the wazzery has commenced

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 12:44, archived)

bought some records at my dealer and an ancient Chinese pressing Elvis P. 10-lp box.
sounds good
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 May 2021, 13:03, archived)

did you get any Fat Metal LPs?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 13:10, archived)

no sympathy reply
just bought some The Ventures play the classics, my above and below post and German 89 ska. I just wanted to buy friends some records for 50p then ended up spending 100 because who can resist vinyl.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 May 2021, 13:36, archived)

my top Ventures break:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbLskOKZzr4
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 13:42, archived)

German ska sounds like it'd probably be the whitest music imaginable.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 15:28, archived)

whiter than foo fighters? wow.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 16:14, archived)

Foo whitest

(dribble, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:32, archived)

dave grohl really is a complete cunt and his music is terrible
There, I said it.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 16:36, archived)

dave grohl really is I'm
his my taste in
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:42, archived)

another lazy strikey-g from queef
*STRIKEY-G TO CHANGE IT TO 'LAZY LOB-ON', FOR DEEPLY COMEDIC EFFECT*
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 16:49, archived)

Spot on.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 18:03, archived)

they're all singing in english

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:45, archived)

typical honkies
*brb etc*
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:48, archived)

they're playing der song

(dribble, Tue 18 May 2021, 17:11, archived)

nice
I just ordered a 45 of this

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNQ_A9r_hBA

the beat on it is fantastic
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 13:22, archived)

there are some nice breaks on
The Genius of Jimi Hendrix Original Sesssions song 1 Red House
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 18 May 2021, 13:30, archived)

my top two Hendrix breaks:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfFMh_Dxy-E
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZPCKeMh1EA
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 13:40, archived)

the whole album's great

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 14:14, archived)

he also did this one, as sampled in Busta Rhymes' Woo Hah, sample @ around the 43 sec mark
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wk_dPAs2hzo

great stuff
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 14:27, archived)

ah yes
I'm going for the double bill: youtu.be/itbWtf8nhhQ
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

nice

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 14:51, archived)

ooh, this is goof

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 May 2021, 15:50, archived)

Ancient Chinese records, eh?
Were they going for a Song?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 15:27, archived)

^ stupid hat

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 15:50, archived)

Sino the Times

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 15:58, archived)

^ Minger

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:10, archived)

Alt: favorite Chinese dynasty, got to be Southern Song for me.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:25, archived)

Xia m8 - old skool 4 eva

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:43, archived)

Tang, duh.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 18:04, archived)

The Slits
*brb etc*
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:25, archived)

WEEOOO! WEEEOOO!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:42, archived)

Yello
*brb etc*
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:44, archived)

The Communards

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 18 May 2021, 19:22, archived)

I like how this is two puns in one.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 20:10, archived)

I question the even-handedness of your critical evaluation

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 18 May 2021, 22:22, archived)

Great
Finished 3 hours early, off home for a pint or three
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:06, archived)

does that not mean 3 hours fewer pay?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 16:50, archived)

It does
But at this point, I don't care
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 May 2021, 16:51, archived)

it's this passionate, go-getting attitude to your contractually-obliged paid employment that bosses love!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 16:52, archived)

Fuck them in the arse with a rusty chainsaw

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 May 2021, 17:44, archived)

Dozer you mean, the try hard elitist prick who could be bought and sold for the price of a watch

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 18:01, archived)

ear-ly in the morning

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 18:29, archived)

Irl lols

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 18 May 2021, 18:55, archived)

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo

(dribble, Tue 18 May 2021, 21:04, archived)

irl lols

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 23:15, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 7:45, archived)

boy was it nice to go out to eat and for a pint afterwards last night

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 7:50, archived)

Beautiful out today , not a cloud in the sky, beer garden weather ffs

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 8:27, archived)

haha typical eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 8:48, archived)

Rain later I believe , just like yesterday. Not many up my local yesterday,

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 8:57, archived)

the restaurant was half empty too
I was more than fine with that
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:08, archived)

Still trying to drag my daughter out for a legal pint with me

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

bit of a milestone

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:31, archived)

Yeah, I thought she'd be keen, turns out not so

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:36, archived)

:(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:38, archived)

You'll like your pokegift I've sent

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 10:59, archived)

excellent stuff
I've still never been, looks like reopening on the 21st, must rectify that
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 11:27, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 9:02, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:09, archived)

morning
it's gorgeous out right now but my weather app is giving me a 'moderate thunderstorm warning' for the sixth day in a row, so it'll probably be lovely all day then start wazzing it down when it's time to go out
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:09, archived)

might have to go for a morning stroll
I prefer a mid afternoon one as it means I'm nearly finished when I get back but if there's wazzery afoot it might be prudent to get out there whilst it's still dry
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:11, archived)

Wazzery Afoot?
Fela Kuti's third most well known touring bassist?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 9:22, archived)

the very same

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:29, archived)

hullllooooooo
i was supposed to go to the pub last night, but instead i managed to cut off the end of my toe and end up in A&E
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 May 2021, 9:13, archived)

you wankspazz

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 18 May 2021, 9:17, archived)

absolutely am
it is rather painful. This is why you shouldn't cook baked potatoes with no shoes on
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 May 2021, 9:18, archived)

Were you testing to see if it was cooked
by swinging a scythe at it while holding the oven door open with your foot?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

Actualol

(dribble, Tue 18 May 2021, 12:21, archived)

Sympathy hi 4 and 4/5ths

( mongychops, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:26, archived)

those potatoes and their nasty sharp edges
get well soon
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:35, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302157
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 18 May 2021, 12:10, archived)

shit, unlucky

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:21, archived)

i think the dog ate the little bit that got cut off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 18 May 2021, 10:11, archived)

Well I think you're all very rude

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

Poo bum bollocks

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:25, archived)

steady on m8, no need for blue language

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:31, archived)

Soz lol dunno what came over me lol

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:36, archived)

an elephant by the looks of your hair lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:38, archived)

Oh! Rofl

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:40, archived)

lmao af

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 10:18, archived)

you may have a point

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:29, archived)

o
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:43, archived)

morning

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:25, archived)

hullo m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 18 May 2021, 9:30, archived)