
Through a bee-hatch!
(works better if you're dressed as a pimp while you tell this joke)
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 12:03,
archived)
(works better if you're dressed as a pimp while you tell this joke)

Did anyone see Live at the Apollo last night?
YAWN RAPE!!!
EDIT: Obviously not. Worth checking out on iplayer.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 12:36,
archived)
YAWN RAPE!!!
EDIT: Obviously not. Worth checking out on iplayer.

ben ainsley can piss right off, bee olympics ftw
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 12:04,
archived)

as i am on the lookout for a handy pearoast opportunity
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 12:12,
archived)

just a thought, how does the gif work without the last black frame?
edit/ i think it works with a much longer delay on frame 1 and no black frame, but what the hell do i know
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:47,
archived)
edit/ i think it works with a much longer delay on frame 1 and no black frame, but what the hell do i know

I just added it to appear that the monster had destroyed the camera - maybe it doesn't work so well?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:49,
archived)

the monster just wizzes past, maybe just give frame one a shake and then repeat frame one sans shake. and when you've done that .....
thus
www.b3tards.com/u/976e0482d5f7b8a53847/s_monster.gif
it's big, hark at me trying to teach the mistress how to animate, next week i'll be giving mr toast and monty a few pointers :)
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:52,
archived)
thus
www.b3tards.com/u/976e0482d5f7b8a53847/s_monster.gif
it's big, hark at me trying to teach the mistress how to animate, next week i'll be giving mr toast and monty a few pointers :)

I'm still in awe of so many great animators here on b3ta my ultimate god of gif animation is of course Mutated Monty - seldom seen thesedays.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 12:09,
archived)

and that it isn't raining now, it's probably right when it says no
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:24,
archived)

Not A War Crime
A/ When you have one of Georges special cards

( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:32,
archived)
A/ When you have one of Georges special cards


when you can scream 'ANTI-SEMITISM' at anyone who disagrees with you
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:35,
archived)

to those of the Palestinians today.
I do not defend either group, but I understand them and I cannot condone the reprisal actions or, for that matter, the detention itself.
No matter how badly your enemy treats you, if you start carrying out deliberate raids of recrimination on the innocent then you have lowered yourself to a level which is unacceptable.
The Palestinian bombers are not good people and I condemn them, but the current Israeli security policy just will not do.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:06,
archived)
I do not defend either group, but I understand them and I cannot condone the reprisal actions or, for that matter, the detention itself.
No matter how badly your enemy treats you, if you start carrying out deliberate raids of recrimination on the innocent then you have lowered yourself to a level which is unacceptable.
The Palestinian bombers are not good people and I condemn them, but the current Israeli security policy just will not do.

If you can't play nicely then we'll take away your toys.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:07,
archived)

I cannot go along with it any more. I am not opposed to the use of directed force with sensible control of collateral damage, but indiscriminate punishment is right out.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:11,
archived)

But the FP a while back with the road map to peace was really spot on. It's been going on so long no-one knows where it started anymore.
This isn't going to end any time soon.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:18,
archived)
This isn't going to end any time soon.

but that is irrellevent.
What matters is that people stop killing people.
There is no requirement to match tit with tat. We have a situation now which is a starting point, as we do at every moment - there is no requirement to weigh up the past first. Israel is the strong and Palestine the weak - regardless of blame and punishment the onus is on Israel to do the work here, just as it was on Britain 63 years ago.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:22,
archived)
What matters is that people stop killing people.
There is no requirement to match tit with tat. We have a situation now which is a starting point, as we do at every moment - there is no requirement to weigh up the past first. Israel is the strong and Palestine the weak - regardless of blame and punishment the onus is on Israel to do the work here, just as it was on Britain 63 years ago.

because israelis have stolen their farms and houses and built settlements on them,and blockaded their refugee camps then I support the palastinian fight to regain them
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:35,
archived)

They should stop fighting.
The land was not 'stolen by the Jews', it was reallocated by the British following the Palestine mandate.
Nobody alive when the mandate was first written is involved in the current situation.
It needs to start from scratch and Israel and the USA need to be challenged by Europe to stop the ongoing 'kill the forrins' policies.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 16:34,
archived)
The land was not 'stolen by the Jews', it was reallocated by the British following the Palestine mandate.
Nobody alive when the mandate was first written is involved in the current situation.
It needs to start from scratch and Israel and the USA need to be challenged by Europe to stop the ongoing 'kill the forrins' policies.

to get some backbone and say 'hang on, this is the united nations, not the United states' As soon as that happens they might start doing the job they were put in place for and start to sanction Israel for the 50 years of flagrant breech of UN resolutions.
The sooner they tell Israel that being the lapdog of the US is not an excuse to do as they please in an effort to promote their idiotic ideals of zionism the better. Then The UN can send in unilateral forces to halt the fighting on both sides and then do the peacekeeping job that it was designed for.
It would be prudent to issue sanctions so that the US can stop the 'security assistance' funding of $22BN a year. $19NB of that being direct military aid. ( arms )
I find it very odd that the US agreed to sell ( give ) 1000 missiles to Israel last year and they were timed to arrive now for a conflict that nobody should have been planning for.
Somebody needs the balls to stand up and tell Israel that just because their religious cult believes in the words of ancient myths this gives them no right to maintain occupation of another's homeland and the systematic slaughter of those living there.
So what if a Terrorist group are showing their anger at you. Where does it say that carpet bombing is a solution? Perhaps they should have bombed Armagh in the 80's and given me a nice post in Cyprus in the sun?
Also shoot John Negroponte in the fucking head. Hard.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 11:58,
archived)
The sooner they tell Israel that being the lapdog of the US is not an excuse to do as they please in an effort to promote their idiotic ideals of zionism the better. Then The UN can send in unilateral forces to halt the fighting on both sides and then do the peacekeeping job that it was designed for.
It would be prudent to issue sanctions so that the US can stop the 'security assistance' funding of $22BN a year. $19NB of that being direct military aid. ( arms )
I find it very odd that the US agreed to sell ( give ) 1000 missiles to Israel last year and they were timed to arrive now for a conflict that nobody should have been planning for.
Somebody needs the balls to stand up and tell Israel that just because their religious cult believes in the words of ancient myths this gives them no right to maintain occupation of another's homeland and the systematic slaughter of those living there.
So what if a Terrorist group are showing their anger at you. Where does it say that carpet bombing is a solution? Perhaps they should have bombed Armagh in the 80's and given me a nice post in Cyprus in the sun?
Also shoot John Negroponte in the fucking head. Hard.

But injured palastinian civilians are prevented from seeking the same compensation from the USA
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 12:32,
archived)

* Just a quick thought about this weeks compo, is this not the most Completely fucking useless shit?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 9:40,
archived)

i didn't realise I'd gone anywhere...
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:06,
archived)

Have you gone and got a root?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:23,
archived)

I haven't been my usually prolific self this year, I've even fallen off the stats board.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:26,
archived)

the usual misunderstanding (deliberate or otherwise) of the competition and I missed my 5000 which means we've got an even bigger wait for norkage!
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:38,
archived)

:)
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 10:22,
archived)


So, I think I'll just laugh at your failure right about now
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 9:48,
archived)

EDIT: also sig changed
* At least I stand a chance of winning this week
![Challenge Entry: Completely fucking useless shit [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)

* Remember.. if you think I am that useless, you should vote..

It certainly is completely fucking useless as in the link doesn't work, yes.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 9:57,
archived)

Teeth. A staple. Yoyo. Sticker. Train. ALL YOUR BEST STUFF.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 8:02,
archived)

...you use smaller fonts, they take up less space on the hard disc.
100% of fact.
And you can defragment a hard disc by shaking it enough so that the bits all pack together.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 6:14,
archived)
100% of fact.
And you can defragment a hard disc by shaking it enough so that the bits all pack together.

I meant to get this one into 'The Funny Side of War'. Never mind!

( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 3:43,
archived)


like the part where he says he has "so much soft for all macs."
Macintosh computers make me hard, not soft.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 3:30,
archived)
Macintosh computers make me hard, not soft.


please insert adobe cs3 design premium
ERROR: Rectum not found. Try bag on hip.
Bag found: Loading... ... ... ...
Loaded...
find . -name gullet
empty_bag gullet
shit_drown complete
Hit 'Enter' to continue.


I make it a policy to never buy crappy knockoff software from illiterates.

..what you doing on here? you've not posted for donkies years. Or I'm going senile. erm...
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 3:41,
archived)

Crazy thought: maybe time to ban them?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 3:40,
archived)

b3ta is the fastest moving and least moderated message board i am a member of.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 4:17,
archived)

I already got all the internets from Bit Torrent. But thanks for the offer.
.SMELLYCUNTBAG
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 4:51,
archived)
.SMELLYCUNTBAG


Who says Garfield isn't funny?
Oh. Everyone does.
Next week, an hilarious goatse.cx parody.

Funniest Garfield ever made I'd say!
He's been left with a spunk-beard like that old guy in kill-bill 2
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 3:27,
archived)
He's been left with a spunk-beard like that old guy in kill-bill 2

I have to be honest, I didn't even know he was still alive. I've seen Christina's World in MoMA in NYC, it's a fucking incredible painting.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:32,
archived)

Those New Englanders are a hardy bunch...
My favorite painting I have seen up close (like about 3 inches away) is still "Garden of Earthly Delights" - saw it at the Prado just after restoration! It does help to see it that close - there is so much tiny detail.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:42,
archived)
My favorite painting I have seen up close (like about 3 inches away) is still "Garden of Earthly Delights" - saw it at the Prado just after restoration! It does help to see it that close - there is so much tiny detail.

I refused to believe how old the painting was. It reminded me of a cross between Monty Python and Salvadore Dali.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:50,
archived)

and THE FUCKER STILL HASN'T DIED!
Cheeky!
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:39,
archived)
Cheeky!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fergie_(singer)
Edit : Fixed now!
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:11,
archived)
Edit : Fixed now!

George from the front desk will escort you to the door.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:13,
archived)

Just like the toilet puppies I excreted earlier.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:15,
archived)


I suspect they drive away more than they attract.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:22,
archived)

IS THAT YOUR IDEA OF EQUALITY BITCH?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:38,
archived)

They must have been a fucking nightmare!
How did they expect to get "equal rights" by setting fire to lawns and running into horses?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:48,
archived)
How did they expect to get "equal rights" by setting fire to lawns and running into horses?


or some such
sorry, waking up in the wee small hours does not do good things

in case he decides to use it as a basis for some more fucking dreadful films.
/unpopular opinion
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:07,
archived)
/unpopular opinion

I had an idea for an immidge, and ive done a semi 3d/ semi 2d mockup to see what it could look like.
Going for that retro look. Dont want it to look too 3d. Re-used my trixie character, but will alter it once ive sorted out the pose.
Any ideas? She needs something to interact with. Was thinking of a dog on a lead looking off-shot with her, but it would be too distracting to the composition.
Sorry to challenge you with creative advice at this time o' night - i can draw a cock on it if you want?

( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 1:58,
archived)
Going for that retro look. Dont want it to look too 3d. Re-used my trixie character, but will alter it once ive sorted out the pose.
Any ideas? She needs something to interact with. Was thinking of a dog on a lead looking off-shot with her, but it would be too distracting to the composition.
Sorry to challenge you with creative advice at this time o' night - i can draw a cock on it if you want?


fuck yeah
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:00,
archived)

a midget doing a sweet skateboard trick on a halfpipe in the background
Fuck yeah.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:03,
archived)
Fuck yeah.

I can feel that I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:10,
archived)

infact placing a representation of me in the right of the frame, makes it look as if she is reacting in disgust. which is about right.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:00,
archived)

I'm not at my most inspired right now but I do want to say that's a great pic, I really like the style and the shading.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:04,
archived)

bloody nice pic
plus the lime has been done ;)
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:08,
archived)
plus the lime has been done ;)

with chrome a white leather interior and big fuckoff fins.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:09,
archived)

that's a stonking bit of work sir!
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:18,
archived)

Have you though about just beating out one and then using it to make a mould for resin/similar? Or are you set on steel?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:21,
archived)

fine for models but i want them to be functional,lamps and the like
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:24,
archived)


noice suggestion tho
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:13,
archived)

i have about ten sketchbooks with fuck all else in them.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:28,
archived)

I have thousands of images spread across dozens of drives and servers. Sometimes I'll remember a pic I've made and be completely unable to find it. Other times I find stuff I have absolutely no memory of making. I keep meaning to organize some of them and get them online but the longer it goes the more daunting it gets.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:34,
archived)

or a decent printer, your stuffs ace
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:40,
archived)

With a small hint of camel smugglation all my wanking needs would be met for at least an hour.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:16,
archived)

Although calling someone Welsh is frowned upon. What a bunch of fucking piss-shites those taff-jock-spic-paddy-rosbif-wetback jobbyflangers are, eh?
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 2:35,
archived)

I write so many fucking swears on this board, I didn't think anyone gave a shit
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 1:50,
archived)

I look forward to this actually happening.
Or at least something equally dramatic, like Bush barricading himself inside the oval office and refusing to come out.
( ,
Sat 17 Jan 2009, 1:46,
archived)
Or at least something equally dramatic, like Bush barricading himself inside the oval office and refusing to come out.
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