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It's almost like he really happened

Click for bigger (126 kb)

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rduke "you can buy most things in most shops", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:06, archived)

Best. Bath. EVER!

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Victor Meldrew, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:12, archived)

yea nothing like rusty razor sharp knob cuts

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prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:16, archived)

You've been to Somerset before then?

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Victor Meldrew, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:31, archived)

hahaha

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:14, archived)

1/10 - those look like empty cans to me

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:17, archived)

Topical.... :)

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benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:56, archived)

Sushi!

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:03, archived)

I wish I liked it... I really do.....

How are you? Getting ready for some festive snaps?

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benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:06, archived)

I really like it

but right now, I'm recovering from some food-poisoning-like illness*. So best not for a while ;)

*not related in any way to sushi

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:16, archived)

Or radiation poisoning I hope!!

;)

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benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:29, archived)

Let's get all this out in one go

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c_kick or, as some people call him, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:55, archived)

peppers makes it

those look great
have you sent them to Hallmark for next year?

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bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:56, archived)

i'm considering it

;)

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c_kick or, as some people call him, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:57, archived)

Morning sir!

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:19, archived)

Can you print me some of those?

mogguh c_kick ;)

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:57, archived)

'ning!

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c_kick or, as some people call him, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:57, archived)

Im expecting that first one off the Ex.

And nicely :D

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w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:59, archived)

hahaha

I will print these out and send them to my family

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Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:59, archived)

I'll be expecting the same from all my distant relatives.

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rduke "you can buy most things in most shops", Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:48, archived)

£20? You ungrateful sod

If all my rellies sent me £20, I'd be dancing in the street.

Nice idea though

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:49, archived)

the Queen is a distant relative?

are you Zenouska Mowatt?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Line_of_succession_to_the_British_throne

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:51, archived)

I'd love £20 from anyone

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prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:54, archived)

I'd say it needs more dogs with tits

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:56, archived)

haha dogs with tits!

gold!

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lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm), Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:54, archived)

Merry Xmas - Get yourself some DIY

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Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 11:24, archived)

Kids say the funniest things

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:41, archived)

haha

this has given me a terrible terrible idea

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:43, archived)

pssst comp it :)

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prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:46, archived)

I thought about it

but I'm in no mood to upset compo nazis today

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:48, archived)

tis the season

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prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:50, archived)

soooooooooooooock

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:52, archived)

They're carpenter elfs!

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:02, archived)

He always has the horn.

Rubbish joke, poorly excecuted. Sorry.

(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:18, archived)

Arf. This is from the Wall Street Journal last week:

YES. Absolutely NAILED letting my family down.

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zoldergoose, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:19, archived)

YES!

As far letting families down go, I'm the BEST

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:30, archived)

Is he saying "GOLF!! FUCKING YES!!!!"

I'm so bored with whole thing.

The news yesterday had a touching story about Tiger's phonecall to the emergency servies when his mother collapsed.

SKY News handled it a typically sombre and restrained manner

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:38, archived)

his number 1 wood

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:20, archived)

*fallfromgraceLOLZ*

You know how the media managed to suspend racism to (deservedly) praise his talents and all-round good character? Watch them turn on him now (i'm looking at you Daily Fail)

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Victor Meldrew, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:32, archived)

reminds me of a rather 'off colour' joke about it I heard a couple of days ago

I hope the mail don't get hold of it

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The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:34, archived)

is it the one about his mixed nationality background?

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:39, archived)

It's one about how it all started over an innocent game of cards

and his wife finally proved to him that a Club really does beat a...

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The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:45, archived)

ouch.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrFa51JU3sM

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:45, archived)

And I thought it was the one about the difference between a golf ball and a Mercedes.

Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards.

Though I may have actually read that on b3ta, so this may backfire a tad...

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joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:48, archived)

I'm sure we could all think of one if we tried hard enough

I'm still trying to sift through the media crap to see what he's actually supposed to have done.

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Victor Meldrew, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:40, archived)

I don't think that it has anything to do with his colour

He is one the world's most famous sports men and has a squeeky clean image but has just been found out to be shagging left right and centre whilst his missus is having their second child. He also crashed into a tree.

(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:39, archived)

the green movement are out to lynch him

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:39, archived)

The press are fucking loving it

simply because he's always done a very good job of keeping his private life, y'know, private.

If the media don't report every time you break wind, the public percieve you as being a clean living, all round nice guy.
He's never said "I'm a saint". That's how the media portrayed him.

They are now just getting revenge on him for fooling them for so many years.
The cunts.

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:39, archived)

"Reports say Tiger Woods regrets the trouble his willy has got him into".

"Although a spokesman for Woods himself says he denies any dong-rueing".

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joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:43, archived)

Merry Christmas, one and all

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Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:34, archived)

Dancing!

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stereo_world has decided not to eat your photograph., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:44, archived)

that looks like the machine that Bond was strapped to

Do you ekshpect me to talk?
No Mr Bond - I except you to die! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:56, archived)

moyles has lost weight

(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:23, archived)

he's made up for it with extra cuntishness

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:26, archived)

ewww

giblets

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claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:04, archived)

mmm...giblets

I'll leave my TOAPy goodness here...

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:09, archived)

I hope you send these without a stamp

then when whoever it is has to pick it up and pay the postage, they find you've put the stamp inside as a present

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:34, archived)

hahaha

last year I did send a birthday card that required another 12p of stamps.
And my brother had to pay a 75p handling charge as well.

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:41, archived)

Nice tits

b3ta what does my dad want for christmas? He's old, some of you are old, give me a hint here

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zoldergoose, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:16, archived)

he wants a perky 18 year old girl with a liberal attitude

but I'd stick with socks to be safe. Keep the receipt too.

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:21, archived)

something for the shed

one of them multi-tool thingies
or some porn

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:25, archived)

I love that idea

I'm buying my dad porn for Christmas.

Cheers Joe.

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Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:26, archived)

Yopu can send the personal shopper fee to my Paypal account

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:42, archived)

He wants a cobbler's last to prop his shed door open

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Ysol ab abl blap, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 10:55, archived)

Christmas Bollocks...

Have a pea roast from last year.

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Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:25, archived)

Nice

(blackswan, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:27, archived)

(herman:D, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:07, archived)

Would, would, would, would would, would would wouldn't would would.

Also: DOMO KUN!!

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ClanSoul, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:12, archived)

*releaves the morning wood*

cheers for that herman

(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:05, archived)

i was going to scream REPOST

but then i noticed domokun. nice touch :)

woo!

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Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:30, archived)

What kind of skin tone matching algorithm are you using?

;)

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:22, archived)

Hey Christian S: this is what really went down. Deal with it.

(pirateneddy, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:01, archived)

FRESH

DON'T GO THERE

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:03, archived)

TOO LATE!I been nd i brought bac a whle sac of fresh

I CALL IT MY FRESHSACK!

(pirateneddy, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:05, archived)

FRESH!

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:05, archived)

DEAL WITH IT CHRISTIAN

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:44, archived)

(siamese bat, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 6:50, archived)

Good work

I like

(pirateneddy, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:02, archived)

This has just become my Office Xmas card

have a click

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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 10 Dec 2009, 8:57, archived)

Christmas? ... Bah Humbug ... Have an Esther Card

(siamese bat, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 17:12, archived)

Oi! I work for HSE!

We're not that bad, honest!

(Hoff (not to be confused with "The Hoff"), Sat 12 Dec 2009, 19:58, archived)

Hey Christians: this is what really went down. Deal with it.

Click to embiggen.

(Brian O'Blivion contains hazardous material, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 6:37, archived)

All hail the flying spaghetti monster

Lest we forget the holy sacrament of parmesan.

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Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:00, archived)

You're so getting a click for this

RAmen

(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 11:51, archived)

fucking yes

deserves clicks
and worship

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revmoola was thinking about a software problem, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 12:47, archived)

"Pregnant Fetish" by Sam Graham

Click for bigger (306 kb)

See more comics here

(heysamgraham http://youtube.com/heysamgraham, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 6:33, archived)

Sploosh

i like the bit where explodes! Sploosh!

(pirateneddy, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 6:38, archived)

THIS IS HOW BABIES ARE MADE

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:43, archived)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;

Jesus and friends

(wallynothere rnot without protection, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 6:33, archived)

Haha yay!

I like his holy croc friend

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mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:23, archived)

Needs more lens flare

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BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:30, archived)

I was really tempted to make a Charity Shop nativity from junk..

..Now im determined :D!

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w00tAlohrs Où peux-je cacher ces noix de coco?, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:58, archived)

Merry Willenium!

(pirateneddy, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 6:25, archived)

FRESH

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 7:04, archived)

Round Robin

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Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:50, archived)

pfft

Sounds like my family.

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BleachedEgo draw a cdc then get back to your teen porn.Pricks, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 9:33, archived)

Sounds like

most of the parents at my son's school. Derek and Susan... yes, I think we met them at the PTA drinks. Lovely couple, apart from the air of barely repressed hysteria.

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Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 16:09, archived)

that's very very good.

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tickle I was away, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:15, archived)

Oh dear

Surely bindun. And a lot better too.

(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:44, archived)

Dear oh dear.

As a Chris I find this highly offensive.

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Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:49, archived)

Well

not a complete loss then.

(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:55, archived)

might have been done, but this just occured to me. I give you Iwo-Jebus

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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:22, archived)

this looks familiar

Edit: woo.

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Grampa, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:26, archived)

i though it's such an obvious idea that some other bugger must have done it

but you never know your luck in the big city

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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:30, archived)

I did make one, but b3tards got re-hosted last night and apparently forgot to move my images.

So have this instead:

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Grampa, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:35, archived)

this is a fine substitute, thanks

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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:38, archived)

for our sins...

Click for bigger (49 kb)

(jonnychin, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:04, archived)

Click for bigger (131 kb)

MODEDIT: Based on the work of 7 - original here.

(Faye Tality, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 4:25, archived)

TACOS ARE SO GREAT!!!!!

PASS THIS MESSAGE ON

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gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 4:43, archived)

hEY

I heard TACOS are great.

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Grampa, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 4:45, archived)

Bigger file size?

b3ta.com/board/9828437

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Grampa, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 5:00, archived)

Bahahaha

I want to give this as a card to all my religious relatives.

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Peregr1n @peregr1n, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 19:24, archived)

Satirical

yet surreal at the same time. I like!

(Ash Oops, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 0:30, archived)

I have to applaud this....

....and yet it saddens me that my first ever appearance on the front page is by virtue of someone elses take on my image.

(*Cries and feels like Hampton Fancher)

(7 hours left to save Earth, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:42, archived)

I guess it's just

the way of the internet.

(7 hours left to save Earth, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 15:09, archived)

I'm really sorry :o( I can only offer you a sincere apology. I never meant to imply that the image was mine - I found the image on the net and thought it would be great as a basis for a card.

(Faye Tality, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 15:43, archived)

It's alright.

(7 hours left to save Earth, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 16:44, archived)

you've never posted an image on b3ta

so I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a link to your original...
TITS or GTFO

(