i can't think of a challenge entry, so have something from the labs, downstairs, way in the back, behind the steel doors, at Monsanto.
A horse that won't bite your hand off when you feed it carrots, & eyes in the front, so it can see where the fuck it is going.
EDIT: It started as an attempt to put the eyes in front, and just kind of went to hell in a wheeliecart after that
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:49,
archived)
EDIT: It started as an attempt to put the eyes in front, and just kind of went to hell in a wheeliecart after that
I thought it looked more like that african man being mistaken for someone else
...and subsequently being interviewed on TV
EDIT: Guy Goma
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 12:09,
archived)
EDIT: Guy Goma
It makes me think of an overweight Trisha.
Mind you a lot of things make me think of an overweight Trisha.
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 12:04,
archived)
Yesterday I was slicing up some Soreen Malt Loaf with a poorly-chosen knife.
That made me think of an overweight Trisha.
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 12:07,
archived)
wait, you're NOT Colonel Boris?!?
well is ANYTHING on the internet true anymore?
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:26,
archived)
that there bird
is a yellow-wattled lapwing
\in before col boris
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:30,
archived)
\in before col boris
sir, sorry sir
I've changed it and everything sir, can I go and play football now sir?
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:45,
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hahaha
Brings back memories of the french teacher singing that bloody song
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:40,
archived)
I loves this, me!
I like to think of it in translation, as a pretentious poem, read by some RADA queen, alone and spotlit on a black stage...
"Lark - gentle lark
I will pluck you."
...
[looks wistfully into middle distance]
...
"I will pluck your head.
I will pluck ... your head."
...
"Lark."
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:34,
archived)
"Lark - gentle lark
I will pluck you."
...
[looks wistfully into middle distance]
...
"I will pluck your head.
I will pluck ... your head."
...
"Lark."
I think I prefer it like that. Much more interesting than a standard sheep.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:02,
archived)
Erm..... I..... er...... happened to - well, sort of notice.....
That that squirrel seems to have proportionally very large (and very furry) genitalia.
( ,
Tue 19 Nov 2013, 21:43,
archived)
I taught my cat how to make me a horse assmeat sandwich
and how to wear fishnet stockings in bed
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 10:50,
archived)
NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE: PET INSTRUCTIONS
This week's challenge is to loot the internet for source images and compile instruction manuals for pet owners, enabling them to get the best use out of their animals. Challenge suggested by strongp.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 9:50,
archived)
This week's challenge is to loot the internet for source images and compile instruction manuals for pet owners, enabling them to get the best use out of their animals. Challenge suggested by strongp.
:/
Who voted for that? Who the fuck voted for that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 10:02,
archived)
*waits for Pedros guide to FP's
Merry belated candles btw, I done you a picture
**can I have fp please?
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 10:26,
archived)
**can I have fp please?
"Programme" is a word used exclusively by the BBC
I think they trademarked it.
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 3:19,
archived)
they've spelt it both ways
'cause we're multi cultural
i always thought program was a tv show and a programme was a schedule of events
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 3:22,
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i always thought program was a tv show and a programme was a schedule of events
The BBC is particularly fond of the "programme" form
using it even in "computer programme".
I always imagine that means the code is printed out in copperplate script on heavy card with delicately scalloped edges.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 3:29,
archived)
I always imagine that means the code is printed out in copperplate script on heavy card with delicately scalloped edges.
"Programme" is correct in British English in all uses except a computer program.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 9:10,
archived)
Ahh... but...
You can have a TV programme about a computer program. That would be a computer programme. A programme about programs.
It's all part of the clever plan to be able to spot those sneaky Americans on the Internet.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 10:18,
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It's all part of the clever plan to be able to spot those sneaky Americans on the Internet.
Sounds slightly more palatable than
Sex therapy with Fatman Scoop and his wife. I puked backwards.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 8:08,
archived)
had my flu shot today
flu shotmind control ray receptor substance
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 7:17,
archived)
Happy white people with matching skin-tone plasters!
Stoic black man grinning through the indignity
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 11:19,
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This came to me in a dream
[/pun]
NSFW, utterly NSFW
Click for big Bukkake Monster (195 kb)
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:30,
archived)
NSFW, utterly NSFW
Click for big Bukkake Monster (195 kb)
Pre-Jonesy image courtesy of Zygon Enterprises.
(c) BBC Entertainment
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 0:36,
archived)
I think banning will come to you in real life.
MODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:31,
archived)
ah, ok LOL
I wondered how that happened so quickly.
but still, why don't you [MOD EDIT] Pedro, please!!
( ,
Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:36,
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but still, why don't you [MOD EDIT] Pedro, please!!
Whether to win or lose at Soggy Biscuit must be
quite a dilemma for him.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 0:10,
archived)
Considering he's got a good sense of humour
and could kill you with his bare hands
Mr Blunt's music is incredibly tedious
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 8:14,
archived)
Mr Blunt's music is incredibly tedious
Image Challenge vote
This week's vote is in full effect. Your choices are:
* Renaissance Superheroes: That other site did a photoshop compo on superheroes in art, and it turned out some quite good outcomes. But we can do better.
* Instruction Manuals for Pets: Cat owner manuals, dog instructions, whatever.
* Camels: One-word challenge.
* Energy Ads: Create new ads to justify the rise in energy prices, showing exactly why it's so expensive, and why we should be paying more.
Voteyclick:
( ,
Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:08,
archived)
* Renaissance Superheroes: That other site did a photoshop compo on superheroes in art, and it turned out some quite good outcomes. But we can do better.
* Instruction Manuals for Pets: Cat owner manuals, dog instructions, whatever.
* Camels: One-word challenge.
* Energy Ads: Create new ads to justify the rise in energy prices, showing exactly why it's so expensive, and why we should be paying more.
Voteyclick:
let it be known that my comedy account voted for Camels and I voted for superheroes --
...sorry :/
( ,
Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:21,
archived)
ALSO:
I found a headless plastic camel in the parking lot here years ago. I still have it somewhere. For some reason my wife is terrified of it.
If camels win, I'll post a picture of it. Now if that's not an incentive, I don't know what is.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:27,
archived)
If camels win, I'll post a picture of it. Now if that's not an incentive, I don't know what is.
I have about 7 or so camel statues in the living room (parlour)
maybe I'll see if my GF will let me behead a couple of them for the sake of arts!
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:34,
archived)
20 votes now
neck and neck between mofaha's camel pictures and pedro's instructions to himself or something
( ,
Thu 14 Nov 2013, 0:34,
archived)
Instructions for Pets might win
what do you think about that? I haven't voted yet.
I watched a documentary on Youtube the other day about a post-apocalyptic world, which although shite, was notable for the repeated scenes of camels roaming wild through a graveyard. This is what will happen when there are no people to maintain order any more.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:39,
archived)
I watched a documentary on Youtube the other day about a post-apocalyptic world, which although shite, was notable for the repeated scenes of camels roaming wild through a graveyard. This is what will happen when there are no people to maintain order any more.
It's good to know that the Camels will tend to the dead.
I don't know what we did to deserve it.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:46,
archived)
Vote camels and I'll give you my respect
although not too much respect because you take bribes.
I might like Instructions for Pets because I enjoy diagrams, but it sounds like a lot of jokes ripped off from The Unadulterated Cat (1989).
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:59,
archived)
I might like Instructions for Pets because I enjoy diagrams, but it sounds like a lot of jokes ripped off from The Unadulterated Cat (1989).
This is why we can't have good things
Due to the "nefarious" doings of B3tans who would remain nameless if I didn't point out that it was MU RIGGED THE VOTE
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 0:35,
archived)
Ah, but does Rob? Fraser? Cr3? Any other bugger?
Let's face it, they won't read it (maybe cr3 will) I don't even know if anyone other than Rob could approve such a thing. I see Rob as the modern image of god. He may have created us, but he don't check in on us any more.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:49,
archived)
Can we not put this to the vote then leave the figures at the altar of the moderators.
Assuming democracy decides in our favour.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 1:01,
archived)
HURRAWAIT I don't get it.
Do I need to watch the Hunger Games / The News?
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:51,
archived)
It was supposed to be a pun
on how the working class will be scavenging for food, whilst the tories dine on the finest roast swan and candied tiger testicles...
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:58,
archived)
Terrifying.
Also, this might be appropriate for QOTW this week.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:33,
archived)
So you're suggesting children who shoplift should either be eaten or run over?
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:35,
archived)
I suppose murdering them makes a change from the underage shit moggy used to be blamed for.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:40,
archived)
I just watch the clash of cultures and translaton programs. {:->
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:42,
archived)
it's over, man.
the whole thing, no newsletters, no FP updates, no image challenges.
( ,
Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:40,
archived)
Maybe if I casually suggest a revolution?
In the 'hands-off' Ruzzle Brand style of course.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:47,
archived)
Rob, rob, why have you forsaken us?
Out playing with the cool kids on your shiny new site and leaving us few behind, like some feral child or stunted cousin kept under the stairs in the dark and paraded maybe once a month for the amusement of your friends
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:47,
archived)
whoah! that name left my lips IRL about 30 minutes ago
There's a used PC wholesale/resale thingy a few miles down the interstate highway from here. The store is on Harry Truman Blvd.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:09,
archived)
There's a used PC wholesale/resale thingy a few miles down the interstate highway from here. The store is on Harry Truman Blvd.
There is nothing in my immediate environs to suggest Harry Truman,
Clear proof of mind reading.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:13,
archived)
you're dabbling in the dark arts
I also had a customer call in a few minutes ago wanting to know if we travel to a street called 'Coeur De Royale' ..
To me, it sounded like he said 'Corduroy Al'
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:19,
archived)
To me, it sounded like he said 'Corduroy Al'
Imagine if Ouija Boards worked
But only for really mundane stuff like bus times...
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 23:23,
archived)
You need to make an anime computer game
This stuff is too good not to be interactive.
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Thu 14 Nov 2013, 10:27,
archived)
Not much on the telly again.
Just watched an old HIGNFU on Dave.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:30,
archived)
Wonder if their web archive is known at Tory HQ as 'the memory slot' ...
( ,
Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:31,
archived)
I thought it was "memory hole"?
Now you can edit your post just like Winston Smith editing past editions of the Times.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:36,
archived)
My mind's playing tricks again, apparently it's 'the memory hole'.
Did wonder why searches kept returning 80s computer manuals :|
( ,
Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:36,
archived)
Lol. Maybe it was "memory slot"
and everything's been edited to change it to "hole".
I read somewhere (Wikipedia I think) that the Stasi used to do stuff like secretly rearrange people's furniture when they were out so that when they got home they'd start wondering if they were going mad.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:47,
archived)
I read somewhere (Wikipedia I think) that the Stasi used to do stuff like secretly rearrange people's furniture when they were out so that when they got home they'd start wondering if they were going mad.
I would link you to David Dees' story of having his bike nicked, but Mon****o had it removed from the internet along with everything he's ever written :'(
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:51,
archived)
I like that. I like that a lot.
Would deleting the past work as an image challenge? It worked as a dystopian novel.
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Wed 13 Nov 2013, 22:34,
archived)
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