Long Long Man
Amazing story telling with a shattering twist at the end.
(
wakeupandsmellthebacon, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 13:02,
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Verr verr gooooooood
Watched the whole blinkin' thing! Always a good sign
(
Prestidigitus will set this 'ere black puddin on you, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 0:44,
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It's like that 90's Kenco couple
except actually amusing.
(
monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 8:13,
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As soon as you said there was a twist
I worked it out. Same with The Sixth Sense which ruined it for me and my gf at the time who I also told. Fortunately the adverts are brilliant anyway unlike the Sixth Sense. Which wasn't
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 22:06,
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My latest text adventure game: Drumsticks
I made this!
My latest game and entry into the Spring Thing competition, some cool entries in there if mine doesn't float your boat (http://springthing.net/2018/play.html)
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:33, Share, Reply)
there's been a little run of people creating text adventures on /links
this from a couple of days ago was interesting
www.b3ta.com/links/Zeppelin_Adventure
(
rob, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:10,
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Field Agents
I made this!
A CSI / buddy cop-type show for the farming industry.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:17, Share, Reply)
The price of milk is eternal vigilance
Lol.
Did you get the idea from Half Man Half Biscuit’s ‘CSI:Ambleside’ album name?
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 20:06,
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This
is why I keep coming back to b3ta after all these years. Great stuff man/woman. Hilarious.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 21:05, Share, Reply)
The residents of Hither Green are not very nice
A whole community gangs together to desecrate a memorial to a much-loved man. Whatever's next?
"Every man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore do not send to ask for whom the bell tolls - it tolls for thee."
(
Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:06,
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Can't we just shovel that whole family into a meat grinder or something?:
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:40, Share, Reply)
No problem with this
Really? Putting bouquets up where a burglar died as tributes. It just shows the lack of understanding by their community. By all means grieve for someone who has died and left loved ones behind but do it where he lived not where he was robbing.
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:45,
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He was a violent thieving coward who lost a fight to a 78 year old.
I'm struggling to think of anyone less deserving of a floral tribute.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 18:03,
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Everyone goes on about all the bad stuff Hitler did,
but they forget the good things, like persecuting the gypsies.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:58, Share, Reply)
I want a riot, with looting and arson. NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 13:33,
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You know what?
Leaving beside the fact that the deceased was a thieving pikey cunt, Sellotaping bunches of flowers to street furniture really gets on my tits.
Thousands of people die in hospitals, but no one creates ad hoc shrines outside there. Because it's fucking wrong. Leave flowers on their grave, don't create some damn memorial to them in the street.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 13:37, Share, Reply)
^ This is what racism looks like in 2018
(
Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 13:44,
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Where is the racism here?
This was about sticking flowers in the street.
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 15:27,
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Haven't you heard?
Nowadays, when you disagree with someone, you call them a racist. It's been all the rage since Brexit.
(
Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 15:39,
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You racist!
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 15:59,
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'thieving pikey cunt'
Here it is love. Substitute the word black for pikey if you're still unsure
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:41, Share, Reply)
pigeonsnest.co.uk/stuff/thieving-gypsy-bastards.html
(
Mr Mann I love pigs, best of all the animals, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:45,
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Except it said..
Aside from that..
You see, reading carefully is very important
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 17:06,
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Yes, that's it
Knew you'd get there eventually
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 17:34,
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Oh, forgive me, I was wrong.
I'm sure it will soon become clear that Mr Vincent was an upstanding member of the community with no criminal record, other than the six years he allegedly served in prison for fraud. The fact that he entered a pensioner's house with a screwdriver was not, as the Metropolitan Police suggest, aggravated burglary, but no doubt merely an attempt by Mr Vincent to carry out some DIY activity for Mr Osborn-Brooks.
Whilst Kent Police issued a public appeal in January to trace Mr Vincent in connection with a burglary, that in no way means Mr Vincent was a burglar.
Whilst some newspapers have identified Mr Vincent as part of our brethren the travelling community, it would, of course, be unfair to suggest that he or indeed any other member of that community engage in anti-social and/or criminal behaviour. Indeed, I understand from enquiries I have made that their decrepit white Transit vans are always taxed and insured and are always roadworthy.
The fact that it has been reported that several members of Mr Vincent's family were jailed for a total of over 28 years at Croydon Crown Court in 2003 after they duped OAPs out of £448,180 is, of course, no stain on his character.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 19:53, Share, Reply)
Many of them lead blameless lives
Others alas tar the entire Irish traveller community By keeping slaves, melting down Henry Moore statues and theiving from the vulnerable.
Perhaps Benny has a good way of telling us how to behave toward them. I’ll fucking enjoy that mealy mouthed lecture.
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 20:11,
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if you're looking for advice on how to interact with humans perhaps the internet isnt the best place to start
(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 10:30, Share, Reply)
Pikeys aren't a race though.
They're a problem.
And by your logic the sentence "I fucking hate country and western" is racist, since you can substitute country and western with native Americans.
(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 0:12, Share, Reply)
If you simply substitute words for other words,
then you end up with a different sentence which means a different thing.
You don't need an Oxford education to understand that, you simply need the linguistic skills of an average 4 year old.
(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 12:52, Share, Reply)
Do you mean to say
you were already aware of the logical fallacy and weakness of your argument?
(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 13:08, Share, Reply)
How dare you disrespect the Peckham Shrine tradition.
I bet you went to some stiff upper lip boarding school. Did mummy and daddy hate you so much they were willing to pay thousands to send you away? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to catch up on the last couple of episodes of The Jeremy Kyle Show.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 14:00,
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dont mind flowers if they're not still in the fucking cellophane which they always are
That pile outside Kensington Palace when Diana died just looked like landfill
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 14:45, Share, Reply)
Typical posh leftie
let the lower middle classes show a hint of emotion and you’re on it like pikeys who spotted a vulnerable pensioner with building society card.
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 20:01,
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You're agreeing with Benny? Get a hold of yourself man!
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 8:52,
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I doubt we'll ever see eye to eye on politics
but I've gotta be fair; piles of flowers littering the place look terrible.
(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 10:22, Share, Reply)
His family want revenge too.
They admit he shouldn't have been there, and was armed... but they're going to kill the pensioner anyway.
metro.co.uk/2018/04/10/pensioner-killed-burglar-hiding-travellers-threaten-revenge-7453766/
(
Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 14:33,
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You'd think if anyone was able to move on...
(
joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 14:51,
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This is what I am talking about
They burnt a van, intimidated the neighbourhood by putting up strings of flowers and carried out an aggravated burglary but they are the ones that have been wronged.
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 15:33,
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This is the favourite for this year's Eurovision.
And it's as awful as you might imagine.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:25, Share, Reply)
Made it to the catchy bit.
Stopped it.
No immediate symptoms.
Will listen to some Britten just to make sure.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:43, Share, Reply)
As pop-infused chicken impressions go, it went
(
thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:47,
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Norman Collier recorded a song called Space Chicken
with kids from my primary school. No one knew who he was.
It has never been uploaded to the internet.
(
monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:06,
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would sound great blaring across an Italian campsite at 3am
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:50, Share, Reply)
^This
Will almost certainly happen
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 20:59,
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Wanted to hate it.
But by Eurovision standards, this is pretty fucking good.
(Not that a Eurovision entry has ever won based on musical merit, mind.)
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 13:13, Share, Reply)
That's OK....
... I'll hate it for you.
(
Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 15:25,
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Shimmy Shimmy Mumm-Ra
I made this!
Mummra does ODB
(
swedemason another self-promoting cunt, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 9:08,
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I am always profoundly impressed by your output.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 9:49,
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Hark at him.
You're not getting money for the newsletter no matter how nice you are. 😉
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:43, Share, Reply)
Ha ha
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 18:51,
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is it just me or does it all go a bit William Blake at 2:20
Didnt notice that when I was 8.
2:00 even
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:36, Share, Reply)
Astonishing
And that was just the John Thaw cameo
(
thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:49,
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Fantastic as always!
(
Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 14:31,
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You clever old bastard.
Hours of Thundercats? This must've been one of the more enjoyable ones to assemble.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:37, Share, Reply)
it was aye. I was introducing my kids to it when mummra reminded me of ODB. They love it now. Shame i cant show em this vid yet
(
swedemason another self-promoting cunt, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 17:53,
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How you have the patience for this...
... I have simply no idea.
Amazing!
(
Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 16:50,
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Wonderful as always :D
(
prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Sat 30 Jun 2018, 8:43,
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Another classy joint for sale
- money just can't buy you style
(
buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 8:22,
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Nice place
It just needs a good fire to sort it out.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 8:49,
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It's the dining table and chairs next to the bins in the garage that seal the deal for me.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 10:03,
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gets good at photo 4
for those who just click and click back
(
rob, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:43,
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The TV lampstand was a good touch
(
thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:51,
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https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/10/mbpaddedwide/140/genMid.40809140_20_1.jpg
Styled by clintons cards
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:31, Share, Reply)
Holy fuck
It's as if Cath Kidston did the set for Steptoe and Son.
I like the "Decretive rod iron gates" though.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 12:38, Share, Reply)
"The first and second floor has 12 ft ceilings."
How is the realtor going to recognise a nice house when they can't even recognise plurals FFS?
(
Varmint, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 20:29,
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Living inside an inverted wedding cake!
Just what I've always wanted.
(
Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 17:06,
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New free sauce for posters from the 1880s to 1919s!
Featuring over 200 printed works, Art of the Poster 1880-1918 presents a look at lithography’s rise in popularity during La Belle Époque. It was during this time that artists like Alphonse Mucha, Jules Chéret, and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec popularized the art form, which gained public prominence thanks to new methods of production.
(
tubaman, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 5:16,
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Full of lovely
Nice find
(
thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 13:52,
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I've always loved these
thank you! Made my bloody day that has.
(
admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:30,
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I don't usually like Yoga Videos
But this one is the Dogs Bollocks!
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 3:50, Share, Reply)
Broken now?
"Zoinks! You've taken a wrong turn.
Let's split up, gang. If you're looking for an image, it's probably been deleted or may not have existed at all."
(, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 15:42, Share, Reply)
Going to need a bigger boat.....
(
Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Tue 10 Apr 2018, 2:13,
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like a bit of The Stath, me.
"it's a megalodon" ave it.
(
unclepills, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 3:55,
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In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course, and then we had a meat or a fish. Paulie did the prep work. He was doing a year for contempt, and he had this wonderful system for doing the garlic. He used a razor, and he used to slice it so thin that it used to liquefy in the pan with just a little oil. It was a very good system.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 7:29,
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Is it about a shark though?
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 8:52,
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Shut up Meg.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 9:16,
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'beyond the sea'
always reminds me of the X-Files for some reason.
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:08,
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Me too! Funny that.
It's the title of an episode which features the song. Always stuck in my head.
(, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:16, Share, Reply)
reminds me of
opening sequence of funny bones...slow leg chop starter to full on vegas high kicking.
plus i learned the first verse in french for knicker invasion purposes.
(
unclepills, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 11:54,
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Jason Statham Vs a massive shark
What's not to like?!!
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 16:36,
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Oh yeah, great
Now another facking reason not to enjoy the sea.
(
Flash_Bastard, Wed 11 Apr 2018, 19:47,
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The Jam, Joy Division and a bit of Tony Wilson
For all you punk-era non-punks out there.
The Jam - Eton Rifles, a short interview with Tony Wilson (at 4m25s), then Joy Division - Transmission.
(
admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 0:32,
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I love this version of Transmission
(
joetotale blear-e'ed, wither'd spectre, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 17:39,
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So its curtains for Trump then
can't wait for tomorrow mornings Tweets from The Combover Con Artist
(
buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 23:53,
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Man-Spider!
I made this!
An old cartoon I did got a new lease of life the other day, I wrote some lyrics,
a guy called Tommy Reckless suddenly recorded it so I thought I'd better make a video...
(
HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 23:15,
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:)
1:00 I see you did not forget about the 3 radials-pb rule
(
the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 5:49,
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That 3 hour thing on R4 about Douglas Adams
Bookmarked. May be of interest to some here.
(, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:38, Share, Reply)
Bookmarked
Cheeeers
(
Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Mon 9 Apr 2018, 23:40,
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It seems this is what the young people of today are listening to
A gentleman is never hot.
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:26,
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Nor is he cold
He maintains exactly the temperature he means to
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:40,
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Wasn't this some sort of joke and not to be taken seriously?
(
Fadgebadger (1 like), Tue 10 Apr 2018, 8:23,
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I had thought so too, hence the rather outlandish lyrics.
Or perhaps this is how the "yoot dem" nowadays actually speak.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 8:39,
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The FBI just raided Trump's lawyer's office and apartment simultaneously
Look for a distraction raid on Syria overnight as he tries to deflect attention.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:07,
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Nah
The FBI don’t have jurisdiction in Syria
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:17,
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You are so jaded and cynical. What has Trump ever done to deserve such a damning indictment?
I, for one, wish him well on his Middle Eastern adventure. His in depth knowledge of international relations and even tempered diplomacy augur well I think.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:22,
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Is it happening?
Is it finally happening?
pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:27,
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It's starting to look like it
As a comment elsewhere asked: "Do you know what kind of evidence you would have to present to a federal judge to get him to sign a warrant to raid the President's personal attorney's office?"
They would have had to present sufficient evidence to persuade the judge that the potential breach of client confidentiality was outweighed by what they expect to find. Lawyer's offices don't get raided on a whim, and this isn't any ordinary lawyer.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:49,
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That's pretty serious
breaching client confidentiality when the client is the president.
(
My Name was saying these words inside your head on, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 0:03,
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Oh fuckity-bollocks
Well, it was nice knowing you all...
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:35,
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Interesting point Trump can only pardon Federal crimes
This raid was conducted under the Southern district of New York. Although the warrant was executed by FBI, it might indicate State charges...
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 23:32,
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Unfortunately
SDNY is a federal court (http://www.nysd.uscourts.gov/). Although I can't see it going down well if Trump decides to pardon a charged Cohen. But these days, who the fuck knows?
(
gingerfreak Why? Why not., Tue 10 Apr 2018, 22:44,
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Has Putin let loose the Kompromat?
America's actions over Salisbury and Syria suggest the puppets lost its usefulness.
(
Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Tue 10 Apr 2018, 7:51,
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Radio One's take on A Quiet Thing
I've not seen the film, nor listen to radio 1, just putting this here because I know how b3tans these days love to get absolutely enraged by things. Play the clip of the chap talking about the film and see how far you get. I made it to perhaps three 'like's and then turned off at 'fink'
(, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 18:19, Share, Reply)
Not much chance of me watching that in a cinema
Unless they put polonium in the popcorn machine or somefink anyway.
(
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 18:28,
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Look at them trying to pretend Nick Grimshaw's opinion is important.
(
evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 19:16,
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Nick who?
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 19:59,
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Well, he did just say there's no point in living if you can't make or hear noise.
Good to see him boldly pushing the BBC's exciting new "exterminate all the deaf people" agenda.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 20:04,
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He doesn't want to exterminate them.
He just wants them to know their lives are pointless.
(, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:20, Share, Reply)
Might possibly be more effective if he chose a different medium.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:35,
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What's wrong with Radio One?
(
Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 19:44,
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Having to present a youthful Radio 1 show when over the age of 30
is great anxiety nightmare material.
(
monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 20:24,
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I understand almost nothing
which emanates from people under 30.
(, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 22:21, Share, Reply)
I don't know what your problem is. That was brilliant journalism. God bless the BBC. Did someone say Pulitzer?
Well you shouldn't have. It's not eligible. You've ruined it now. Prick.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 21:05,
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Timber Tibre - Run From Me
Heard this on the Netflix series "Wild Wild Country."
(
BaronMunchausen Interdimensional Demon Day Laborer, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 17:50,
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That whole album is great
Especially Grand Canyon, which has the only sax solo I've ever enjoyed.
(, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 18:02, Share, Reply)
Shall we go for a walk, Rosie
Adam Buxton's dog being a laugh
(
presferatu, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 13:29,
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"The hairy bullet"
Yeah, the Mrs has a pet one of those. It also gets excited when she suggests exercise.
(
pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 13:56,
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Spitzer or dumdum?
Edit: how do I turn off this damned mobile view?
(
jonbob loves you, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 14:13,
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Not heard it called that before.
(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Mon 9 Apr 2018, 16:36,
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Lovely!
I need to adopt a more Rosie-ish approach to my exercise regime
(
thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 14:05,
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so that's what she looks like!
I only knew that she sounds a little bit like Cilla Black.
(
admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 15:33,
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The gang on the right are taking no shit, particularly their leader
(
The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 13:29,
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Easy to be brave hiding at the back
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 14:45,
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Yet more proof that racism is caused exclusively by a lack of education and ignorance.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 14:57,
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*dreams of a world with a lack of ignorance and better punctuation*
(, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 15:18, Share, Reply)
Martin Luther King or John Lennon you are not.
(
Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 15:53,
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Wayne's World was 25 years ago and you're still making "not" jokes?
(
Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 16:40,
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Cream of sum yung Guy?
(
The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Mon 9 Apr 2018, 20:52,
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