Question of the Week poll
IS HERE

Degree of difficulty: One of the questions is about wanking.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 14:05, 23 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello, I didn't die.
I'm sure you all were very concerned.
Turns out the bff is getting married.
Yay for her, but she surely could've texted that.

What would be a good wedding gift?

alt: Tell me your favorite article of clothing, mine is my shirt that says "It's T-Shirt Time".
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 13:14, 165 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Noo thread
As started by me, former Gonz impersonator/ impostor and all round good egg.

EDITATION: The main question is, in a jelly fight between Fiona Bruce and Sian Williams, who would you put your 'money' on?

Alt- what would you rather be, a Llama or a wallaby?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 12:15, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well, enough of that misery and cuntism
Let's talk about something happy, shall we?

Tell me about the best day of your life.

Alt: What toys of our youth are today's kids missing out on? It strikes me they'll never know the joy of opening a fresh box of fuzzy felt. Poor, hard done by childrens.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Aug 2011, 11:01, 142 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning
Have you seen some of the dickheads posting in here?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 10:01, 79 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning
after what was a nice day yesterday it has fucked it down with rain hard, all night here. How's the weather there?

Have you seen some of the dickheads posting in here?
www.b3ta.com/questions/consumption/post1305958
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 8:46, 100 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Do dod doododoododooooooo
it's time for Cavy's Interesting Facts.

When a boy guinea pig wants to impress a girl guinea pig he circles her, swaying from side to side and purring in a low sexy voice.

This is called...wait for it.... THE RUMBLESTRUT!

1)Would this work on humans?
2)Would this specifically work on man humans?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 20:51, 245 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Carrying on from Gonz below
What TV show would you like to have been involved with? I always wanted to go on the Krypton factor.

ALT:i hada feast today, what's your favourite ice-cream?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 17:20, 60 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh man, I just applied to go on MasterChef !
Oh wow, I doubt I'll get on or anything, but oh man, I might be able to do good on it if I do, maybe, I donno. I'll see.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 15:45, 173 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I tire of drug talk I can't join in with
on account of being square.

Make me feel a bit better. Tell tales of daring square-ness or nerd-ism.

In 1998, my summer holiday was a long weekend at a scifi convention.

Alt: I punched myself in the face today with a garden implement. Tell me the last stupid spazzy thing you did.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:54, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Now they've seized monty's weekends supply of Columbian Marching Powder
What should he do to to dull the horrible pain of cold turkey?

Alt. I once ate whole nutmeg to get high, not recommended. Whats the stupidest thing you've smoked, snorted or swallowed in an attempt to get wasted?
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:11, 110 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Threadstomp in the name of Jesus!!
Christian Rock, God TV, Evangelical God botherers, potential sexual abuse victims.

They really frighten me to be honest. I usually like to catch a little bit of God TV from time to time to laugh and be cowed by the mental bastards at these Christian Rock gigs. They are totally off their Christian titties. It always looks like the last hour of a particularly heavy 3 day rave. Folk lying about crying, shaking, having fits, going bananas, generally acting like they have no grasp on reality.

Is the communion laced with 'rave drugs' or is the music so intense it transports these feeble minded disciples to an alternate plain of reality?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:18, 95 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So, today marks the second attempt to get this sodding green out of my hair.
Wish me luck, bitches. At this rate, I won't even be that gutted if it all snaps off from over bleaching.

Tell me about your "Well it seemed like a good idea at the time" moments. To follow on from Monty - no whining, just amusing anecdotes.

Edit: Just thought of an Alt Q. I saw the actual Magna Carta yesterday, what awesome pieces of history have you seen?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:11, 38 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Look a new thread!
Turns out the IE IQ story was qa hoax, making the media look like the ones with a sub normal IQ - nice bit of "karma".

When has "Karma" helped or fucked you?

ALT: lunch - foot long BMT with Chipolte from Subway or chicken escalope, ham, sundried tomatoes and mustard mayo from the deli?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:03, 43 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good morning.
I feel a little delicate following a liquid dinner and rather late night last night. Today shall be a little 'challenging', I fear.

Tell me about the biggest idiot you know and why you consider them to be so. Zero points for 'you are' or a self-pitying 'I am'. I don't want to hear it - I'm looking for comical anecdotes about stupid people, please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 8:51, 251 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It seems everyone knows more than me about being domestic
so perhaps we should have a thread of top tips for stuff.

I know about other things so here's a tip: zoom out your camera lens as far as it will go and get really close to your friend's face to take a picture. They will look stupid and distorted and will be cross when you put it on facebook

alt: talk about other things
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 21:40, 158 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

THREAD DEATH
Do any of you play any instruments? Did you massively fail at the recorder? What other possibly-useless skills do you have?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:28, 218 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Do I have to read all of that?
Time for a good news thread I think. Apparently, a media company based in York are interested in me... time for a proper grown up job I think.

What good news have you all had recently?

Alt: Why does life suck for you?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:05, 113 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Maxims for life.
Make up (or put a new twist on a classic) saying; a little piece of homely advice to help people in life. Or one that makes a spiteful joke out of other people's problems for the purposes of 'LOL'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:49, 349 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Deals
As there has been a bit of talk in the previous two threads about getting good deals, what is the last cracking bit of business you've done?

Alt:
It DOES seem to be around lunchtime
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 12:41, 304 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sooooo.........
What's going on with you today? Anything good? Share your day's plans.

Alt: what would you rather be doing?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 11:21, 172 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Start the day by sharing a FACT-BOMB! about you.
I'll go first. Chicks dig me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 8:13, 346 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lordy it's dead on here this evening.
*Goes to the pub for an hour*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 20:17, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Chompy killed /OT, it seems
Right, what're your plans for tonight? I'm off to a pub quiz tonight, then another one tomorrow. Got to get practice in if we're going to win Eggheads!

Alt: I don't know, last thing to make you cry?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 17:09, 86 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello!
'Tis I, DiT, stopping in to say, well, hello. So, I suppose you want a question, eh?

At Junior School, we were taken on a trip to Norfolk, where Carl Stock ate too many Wotsits and shat himself on the beach in a horrifically fizzy orange mess. What horrible things happened to you or a classmate on a school trip?

Alt Q, as apparently that's the done thing: What are you doing on Friday Night? You could come and help me raise some money for CHARIDEE: twitpic.com/5px7el

EDIT: Whoops, sorry Chompy!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, 59 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

We need the popular page to get better, it's stagnated.
Insult each other or say a joke or do some ascii, that shit always gets on the popular page.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Following on from MB's rant
Which football team do you support?
Those people who say 'I don't support a football team' should include details of where they are from and/or who their Dad supports.
( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 13:59, 194 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Slow and difficult.
I genuinely and firmly believe democracy to be overrated. 'The people' are cunts who don't have a fucking clue what is or is not in their (or indeed anyone else's) best interests. These people go to Spain and eat full English Breakfasts, they are the same mindless cretins who 'read' the NOTW voraciously for over a hundred years. 'The people' passed burgers through the school gates when Jamie Oliver was trying desparately to feed their children nutritious food. They enjoy 'Ant and Dec' and 'voted off' people from 'Strictly'.

How on earth is giving people with such demonstrably flawed judgement a say in anything more taxing than which football team to support a good idea? EH????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 12:47, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Quick and easy
I'm doing a test. I need to know:

1. Which colour is the underwear you're wearing now.
2. Which colour is your favourit for underwear.
3. Which colour you hate the most in underwear.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 11:29, 251 replies, latest was 15 years ago)