Roneah is shit
discuss
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

Absofuckinglutely.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

ESME WESME!
Hello lovely, I'm going to be in Ireland in about 6 weeks time, if we don't meet up the world is wrong
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

OH MY GOSH.
Which bit will you be in?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

Dublin
weekend of 5th September

will you be nearby?
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

Oooh, yes. I live in south Kilkenny, it's about two hours away. Me, you and Dr Preference should have a mini bash.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

Have you slept yet?
I think the last time we spoke you'd been up all night. Yeah, definitely up for it, you are one of the few b3tans left on my 'b3tans I want to meet' list
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

I slept from nine to two today.
And did fuck all except talk to Lu and smoke fags. Good times.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

You fucking idle bum.
/got up at 3
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

Haha
I was awake all fucking night. It was a lovely sunrise, though.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

That sounds like a fine way to spend the day to me

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

Indeed.
I was going to play the Sims, but played Mario Galaxy instead. That's how I roll.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:26, archived)

Careful, she secretly likes Roaneah, and smells bad.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

Woah.
That's fucking harsh.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

I'm extra mean when it's 25C at night.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

i have been to kilkenny!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

a few times actually.
it is lovely.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

see i have these friends in clonakilty.
it's a long story.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

Woah!
We're even closer internet friends than we thought. What bit of Kikenny were you in?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

i was mainly passing through really.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

You should totally come visit me, you can your (very beautiful) girlfriend.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

HELLO ESME WESME BESME FESME!

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

Hellooooooooo!
How's your face? Where have you been?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

I had a haircut, Esme!
I look semi-attractive for once! I have been in work and/or bladdered all weekend so have not posted on here sinec Friday, I think.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:29, archived)

Cool.
I badly need a haircut. I'll just have to settle for dying it and tying it up, again.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

Hello Esme etc.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Hello, naughty Jack :p

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

It wasn't me, some bigger boys made me do it.
I don't know who got stepped in the end.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

Mike and Dave did, anyway.
I dunno if well did, she's been quiet since.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

I'd rather not.
Though he loves to stick about to see what people say about him.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

What's the bet he searches for his own name too?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:08, archived)

You do that.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:09, archived)

Damn right.
And every time someone says something vaguely uncomplimentary, I send them frothing abusive gazzes and email the mods requesting their immediate extradition.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

I heard he's a nonce, as well.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:08, archived)

www.snortworld.com/imgs/offsite/Cat_catches_bat.gif
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:09, archived)

haha, ace.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:09, archived)

Cats are so fucking brilliant.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

i prefer dogs because they help the blind and sniff out people from rubble and shit.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

I like dogs too.
I like them ALL.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

o a
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

Hello Aardy Varky!

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

Hello, Esmington!
I trust you are wonderfully well.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

Esmington. I like that.
I'm not too bad. Not sleeping the last few nights, the weather and that has me arse over tit. How are you?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

I'm pretty marvellous.
Making last-minute preparations for going away on holiday on Wednesday, and sweating like a fat paedo in this stupid heat.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

I'm moving home to Ireland on Thursday.
And trying desperately to shove everything in to my luggage. Hur hur. I have accumulated a lot more stuff than I thought I had.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

Yes, I saw that this was happening on that Facebook thingy.
Good luck with the move, I wouldn't want the hassle of emigration.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

Ah, it's only to Ireland, short flight, and no house to sell or any of that crap.
Just fucking LOADS of stuff to bring. Shite, most of it.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

Even the shitty little ones that old people have?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

those are shit.
i would eat one of those if it wasn't for the fact that i would not.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

Well, you could.
So long as you ran away shouting "I'M SORRY, I HAVE CANCER!", they probably wouldn't even press charges.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

Oh man, I wish I had cancer.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

Fucking stupid healthy cells.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

it does have it's benefits.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

Maybe if I hug you REALLY hard it'll spread to my pancreas.
Or just my gall bladder or something, I don't mind.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

Hmm, depends how shitty they are.
Yorkies fucking STINK when they're old.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

Just like old people!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

HAPPY CANDLESHIT!

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

:-D

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

I once dropped a dog on its head once.
It was an accident.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:15, archived)

cats teach the blind to help themselves
it's only through adversity that we grow
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

And a dog would break its spine doing that.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

why would a dog want to catch a bat?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

To eat it.
My dog tries to. Fucking eejit.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:18, archived)

Doing what?
Catching that bat? I disagree. My Bowser jumps like that all the time. He might be an exception though, as he thinks his stripes mean he's a tiger. I will video him sometime, and you can watch him stalking in long grass :-)
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

Those are all mostly cat-like qualities, my friend.
I think you've been conned.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

hmm, 30KG cat. That'd be fun.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

If he twisted his back and hips like that, he would.
Well, he wouldn't really be able to. They're not quite as bendy. Has he had his stitches out and all that?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

No need. Internal magical ones that disappear. He's more lively than ever, except when he gets too hot.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:38, archived)

Begging is basically just mugging, isn't it?
Only, instead of using a bladed weapon, and your attacker pushing you into a darkened alley and demanding your watch, they use emotional blackmail and a scruffy, cute dog to make you relent and hand over your cash.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

Happy candle and ting.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:11, archived)

Ta, muchly!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

he's a shitcunt, he always has been
but hey, he thrives on attention like most trollboys

and he molests children
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:10, archived)

I heard he's like Michael Jackson
TIMES SIX
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:12, archived)

that makes him officially worse than Gayhitler

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

i would

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:11, archived)

Gag him first.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

i'd let him gag me

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:16, archived)

but he luvz uz guyz

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:13, archived)

Yes.
I am listening to the bloodhound gang. funtastic.
( Cae1, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

No, thanks.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:14, archived)

hello Mr Sexvark
you've been avoiding us lately, has it all got a bit too shit for you recently?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

It's not been a conscious avoidance, just been doing other things.
Since my back got better, going outside has become quite appealing. I still look in occasionally to make sure you're all okay, though. Aardvark is watching.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:21, archived)

smathels is a paedophile shitcunt
/ac

apart from that you haven't missed anything important except this
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

Who is that?
It's been on for two minutes now, and I'm still waiting to laugh.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

Piston :(

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

It's... uh...
not very good.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:31, archived)

No. No, it's not.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:33, archived)

OMG WAH HAPPENED?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:20, archived)

a shitcunt took time off from molesting children to let us know that he is still a shitcunt

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:22, archived)

That pretty much sums up all of /talk.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:24, archived)

FUCK ALL THAT SHIT, IT'S MY B3TADAY!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:23, archived)

we'll let you know the second anyone remotely gives a shit

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

Goodnight, sleep tight.
Hope the bed bugs don't bite.

Luv u guyz! LOL! Mwah.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

CHOKE ME WITH YOUR COCK

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

You are actually shittier than SickRik.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

Can I just say
as b3tans go, you are possibly the shittest ever.

Love you,
broadsword xx
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6263972
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

I wasn't arguing though I don't think
he / she / it is impossibly shit
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

You were responding.
That's enough of a cue for such 'people' to spew their vile hatred on the world.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

I've gotta be honest
I was hoping for a bit of a fight
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

With roaneah?
He's a fucking nonce.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

I kinda got the impression that
roaneah is a nonce

but I was hoping for some verbal play.

Evening Mr Trouser, you alright? & What's happened to Bob?
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

I need to concentrate on other things, so it's "down".
You lot have stopped using it anyway, so I didn't think it'd be a problem. It will be back, but I'm busy making online shops and things.

Not to mention my international import/export business trading solely in Arctic Sand.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:06, archived)

I've got my fingers in a few pies as regards import / export
keep in touch & I know bob was quiet but was still a nice place for me & a friend in the UK to play music at each other so if there are any financial concerns let me know & I'll help out
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:17, archived)

You will likely find that the details you have still work ;-p
Uptime is no longer guaranteed though, as upgrades are incoming. Server 2008 for a start.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:19, archived)

This.
It's not so much arguing as it is telling someone that they are really shit.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

have you not...
i mean...
oh never mind.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

Fecal adhesion.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

I really must come around here more often.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

Enjoy the wankfest between woodside, jackaction and broadsword. It's quite a show!

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

Get back to jail, racist scum.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

You're only calling me a racist because you hate gays.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

You're only drawing desperate conclusions about my outlook on life because you know precisely nowt about me.
And, y'know, repeatedly using the N word is pretty solid evidence of being racist BNP scum. No matter how ironic you pretend to be.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

I know that you jump easily to insults, and nothing else.
I hope to know nothing more about you. :)
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

u r so funny
quick tell me another so my pants can explode
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

He's gay!
He wants to touch your bum!!!!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

Yeah, let's tell the internet we are leaving
then stick around to see what everyone types about us.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

Didn't you know that all gays have the capacity of a 13 year old girl?
Maybe that's why I'm also a nonce and racist. Is there anything else you want to call me before I drop dead from insultitus?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

I get it, you are gay
OMG
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:03, archived)

Now now,
he's also a nonce. Let's not forget that.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

It's terribly sad. What he does: "OMG LOOK AT ME I AM GAY"
What everyone sees: "OMG LOOK AT ME I AM AN ANNOYING CHILD!"
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 2:09, archived)

enough about this,
let's talk about my girlfriend and how hot she is shall we?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

bollocks, let's talk about MY hot girlfriend instead

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

she ain't as hot as MINE.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

she is too!
and she's proper forrin, dead fucking exotic like
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

OH SHUT UP LA LA LA

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

srsly
I'm totally doing a cute forrin chick and you're not
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

are you all better now?

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

Can I share your girlfriend?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

So, anyway.
I was.. HOLY SHIT, IT'S MY B3TADAY! :D
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

WHAT AN EVENT

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Haaaaapy b3taday, b3taday
happy b3taday
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

I hope he's still under 16.
*wink wink*
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

Nonce.
 
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

Ahhhh! Me and you on the same page, hey?
*wink*
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

Nonce/

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

Nonce.

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

Not sure how I managed that
but even html thinks you are a nonce
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

NONCE!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

Apparently 2 out of 2 dickheads agree...
roaneah is a nonce!
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

NONCE!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

NUNS!

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

haha

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

Not on Normal comunal exersize

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

Fine noncing, there.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6263929
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

I'm not clicking a nonce-link.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

Because it's nonce-sense?
Bwahahah. Brasseye reference. I rule.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

rule am a nonce
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

broad frothy-vaginosis sword eater

Oh, look how funny that is? LOZLORS!
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

Nonce humour: it's well shit.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

Exactly my point.
As my previous post was sarcastic. :)

I was saying that broadsword was in fact unfunny, which therefore makes his humour noncey in your eyes.

Brilliant.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

Excellent deducing, there.
Although it's massively fucking wrong.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

Don't bother trying to argue with racists.
They're not capable of rational thought.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

I'm just surprised it wasn't a crude crack at the expense of non-white people.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

Fuck that.
What were you about to say?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

I can't remember now.
I want a Buzz Lightyear cake please.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

Buzz
year guy
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

There's a Lightning McQueen cake in the Asda near me.
That's the best I can do, sorry.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

ning McQueen guy
Asda Waitrose

only high quality establishments carry my cakes
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

I was fully expecting that strikethrough.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

Apart from the Waitrose bit, you posh bastard.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

well i'm not going to allow just anyone to buy them

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

The nearest Waitrose to me is in Abergavenny.
I'm not going there at this time of night.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

reply

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

reply HAPPY B3TADAY!
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

hello new person

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

I'm going to have cr3 grant me a b3taday wish and have you fucking banned forever.
I HATE YOU.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

no you don't
you think I'm fucking ace

and you're right
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

I do actually.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

Go team you!
I made you some cake. But I cooked you instead.
( Cae1, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

Turning my thread into a wavy line of posts.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

WOOOOOOOOO *bakes you a cake*

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

So last night...
I was fucking this guy, and I pulled my knob out and there was a little bit of shit on the end of it.

I dealt with the situation by grabbing a nearby towel and removing the aforementioned faeces before plunging my cock into his mouth for the rest of the session.

How do you deal with the issue of shit on your knob?
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

my knob does not get shit on it,
your knob is the only knob for me,
master
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

You'll be the little shit that goes down on my knob then.
Get it down your throat, princess.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

PULL MY HAIR AND SMACK MY ASS

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

Suck on my balls and call my granny a titmuncher.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

UP TO THE KNUCKLES AT LEAST FOR GODS SAKE

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

LET ME GOBBLE YOUR WANGLE NOW

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

I'm gonna fuck that tumor right out of you.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

OH HELL YEAH
CAN I CALL YOU DADDY OR WOULD THAT BE WEIRD?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

You can call me daddy.
But only if you're roleplaying a newborn baby.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

FILL ME WITH YOUR SPUNK
AND I WILL POO MY NAPPY RIGHT UP
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

You'll only poo your nappy due to your sphincter muscles relaxing as you die from asphyxiation on my cock.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

THAT WOULD BE MY DREAM WAY OF GOING
BETTER THAN CANCER ANYWAY
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

I want to fry your cancer up with some garlic and green beans.
Nummy!
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

HETEROPHOBIC!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

Shut up, you fucking breeder.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

STRAIGHT PRIDE
DON'T TREAD ON ME
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

Fuck you, non-fag.
I bet you love tits.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

WE'RE HERE, WE'RE STRAIGHT, OUR OPINIONS CARRY SOME WEIGHT

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

WE'RE ALL PROUD TO BE HETERO, STOP SEGREGATION ON THE METRO

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

I did a snort laugh at this.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

WE'RE HERE, WE'RE UNDECIDED, DO YOUR POLITICS WHILE WE DRINK CIDER

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

I did a laugh at this.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

By not having bumsex

( Cae1, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

That's a preventative measure...
I was looking for ways to deal with it after the event. Thanks for your input anyway. :)
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

Am I fired?

( Cae1, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

i chopped it off a long time ago in order to avoid this exact problem

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

Colonic irrigation.
Now, tell me about your mother.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

I get it
you are GAY

well done
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

a belated
happy pride day. now fuck off.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

was this before or after you molested some children?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

Oh, didn't I mention he was 3 months old?
Yeah, the faeces smelled pretty bad.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

Is it him who was the nonce?
Actually I don't care, lets lynch him anyway
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

Lynching is for niggers, you stupid shit.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

Nonce.

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Apparently when someone on b3ta says you molest children it makes you a nonce.
OMG... I've just realised. This is some kind of paedo ring?

*dials frantically*
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

Nonce.

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

all bum bandits molest children FACT

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

That's harsh
some aren't raving perverts.

But I'm guessing he IS a raving pervert.
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Hello, Nick Griffin.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

Yeah, ok then, *attention*, happy now?
Christ, stop trying so hard to shock people, you steriotype.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

You're a stereotypical jew.
Boring and hairy.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

I thought gays were supposed to be imaginative, you just basicly repeated what I called you.
Go back to counciling, I'm sure you can work out where it went wrong.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

Maybe YOU should go back to councilling.
Hahaha. Totally pwnd.

At least I can spell.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

gonz!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

i had a chicken wrap for lunch.
what did you have?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

a hawk wrap

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:56, archived)

oh, wowzer!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:57, archived)

because i'm worth it

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

Jinkies!

( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

Famine.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

that is the spirit!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

I had anapple

( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:58, archived)

The steam of hard work and the sweat of stained windows.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:59, archived)

Two ham and cheese bakes from Greggs.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:00, archived)

haha, povvo food

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

It's not payday until tomorrow.
I had to eat something.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

why didn't you buy something cheap instead?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

It was only £1.80.
Which is 10p more than it was last time I was in Greggs.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

you could easily get something nice from the shops for that.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

I quite liked them.
I stand by my decision.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

you love povvo food!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

We're not all fancy city folk like yourself.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

i had a chicken wrap,
did i mention it?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

Marks and Spencer food.
Did you win the lottery?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

i made it all myself and stuff!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

Such bravery.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

The price of those pasties these days.
Shocked me I can tell you.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:08, archived)

I used to get two sausage rolls for 50p!
They're about £1.20 each now. Fuckers.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

I know.
I remember when pasties were 50p, shit food con.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:10, archived)

90p a pasty.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

They should taste better than they do for that price.
You could have bought a tin of soup and loaf of bread for the price of two pasties.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:12, archived)

Or two frozen 8 inch pizzas from my local pakistani-style corner shop!

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

Or something nicer than crappy frozen pizza.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

Refrigerated pizza?

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

Two chicken burgers made at home before work
Actually counts as breakfast, lunch and dinner as they're the only things I've eaten today.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:00, archived)

you eat two things in a day?
pussy.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

mind your own business, hippy

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:01, archived)

why won't you love me?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

I'm saving up for your sex change
maybe they could see to it next time you're in for chemo, two birds with one stone, etc
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

i would be up for that

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

or you could lop your own willy off, save me a shitload of cash
I've got a penknife you could use, it's got one of those little saw blade attachments on it
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:07, archived)

Make sure you pickle it and send it to me.
I would enjoy it. Because I am a gay.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:08, archived)

Gay, first I've known of this.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:12, archived)

It's true!
*cries into a pink, hand-embroidered Gucci handkerchief*

*sniffle*
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

I assumed you'd be too busy molesting children but sure, ok

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

You seem to be under the delusion that I am possessed by the spirit of Michael Jackson?
Were you a big fan?

*discreetly tries to call the local asylum*

Please continue you with your witty banter, kind sir!

*frantically dials*
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

no, I just assume that all bum bandits molest children

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

it all comes under the umbrella of sexual perversion.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

i would like to own that umbrella.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

Given that you state this incessantly, I can only conclude you're somehow insecure about your sexuality.
Are you perhaps struggling with a burning, deeply-repressed desire for big fat sweaty minges?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

I had a girlfriend for two years when I was between the ages of 16-18.
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go back to minge.

Tell me, when was the last time you had a cock in your arse, and then we'll talk about sexual insecurity.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

You are obviously completely secure
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!
I'm gay!

Thats you, that is
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

Maybe I'm only like that because every time I post something it comes back round to homophobic comments.
I may as well get in there first and make sure you can't use it as an aggressive tactic. Which you seem to be failing at now.

No fuck off and eat some pussy if you don't want to hear about me fucking men.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

Homophobic?
Nah, I have nothing against gay people, I just don't like aggressive fuckwits
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

You heterophobe.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

I just do it because you're a shithead and it winds you up

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

I see.
*takes notes*

Tell me about your mother.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

She used to rape me with her big cock.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

K-meleon is pretty good as browsers go.
Good tip there.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

Anyway, it's late and work in the morning.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

I think it was Evil Lu who recommended it in the first place.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

i am insecure about my cancer

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

Such a brave soldier :(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

Is it gay cancer?
I'm not allowed to talk about non-gay things.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

it is pretty gay

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

nails

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

Your mother.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:03, archived)

I thought you were a gay?!?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:04, archived)

His mother has a massive schlong.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

it's probably bigger than yours, I've seen your video

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:08, archived)

And you think of it every night while you masturbate into your own mouth.
You don't need to tell me... I've heard it a thousand times before. :)
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:10, archived)

He's gay, you know.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:10, archived)

*rapes you*
See? I'm an arse-raping gay, let there be no doubt about it!
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

There was a homophobic chap online earlier.
I was well defending the gays, and all that.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

I really don't give a shit.
It just makes you look like a fucking fag in my mind.
( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

But whose approval shall I crave now?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

God's.

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:21, archived)

Jesus hates fags.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:22, archived)

his is bigger than mine :(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

have you seen my mother's penis?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

Have you seen his mother's massive schlong?

( hoifbjifbef, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:06, archived)

A corned beef baguette.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:09, archived)

Cock

( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

I'd like to understand FL Studio 8. But I don't.
I really don't.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

layers and stuff innit

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

HOMOPHOBE!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

shouldn´t you be watching the boxset of will and grace

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Shouldn't you be out lynching some gays?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

what, like you
you bum-der
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

That doesn't even make sense, you spastic.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:28, archived)

welsh AND gay
oh god
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:30, archived)

cor,
my kind of man.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Swansea?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

oh man.
what a horrible place.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)

bender and bummer

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:34, archived)

It was the lack of a question mark that threw me.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

Bad habit of mine that.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)

It is, isn't it?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

Stick to Paint

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

Hire a maid

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

that is a shame!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

£20 an hour and I'll teach you.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

+ the way of man love

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

That's all I've got.
I don't even know what FL Studio 8 is. It sounds like a hairdressing product.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

No wonder Balders doesn't get it

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Start with FL Studio 1 and work your way up.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

Ethel? Who is this Ethel?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

Oh baldmonkey, you are a one.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:10, archived)

i'm sure it must be some failing on your part
reflect on this
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

Willl do.
There doesn't appear to be a dummies guide for it.
:(
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:11, archived)

Man, i have been using FL Studio since 3 came out back in the day. And I now have FL Studio 8 XXL Producer Edition

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:14, archived)

i bet the babes love that

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:15, archived)

Well...
Theyve came a long way, and only for the better. Ive had and stilll have most of the other DAW programs, and FL is always my favorite, though i do like reasons sample library.( which only matters till you start gettin your own sample library built). But needless to say, this program is genius, works with anything, and is easy to use for beginners and versatile enough to do anything you can imagine once you grasp it. I honestly make money, get respect, and produce my own, as well as my teams Albums with FL Studio made beats. Along with a Roland Keyboard, but i rarely need it. The real nice thing is that it doesnt matter what kind of music you need. you got it if you have FL. And if you think about it, you can use FL as your ONLY program...it records, makes the beats, mixes, masters, effects. Everything. And for those asking, there is a New Built-in Sound property to make samples sound "smoother". i cant remember exactly where, but its in the index somewhere. The instructions help too, if you actually pay attention, just go with the flow though, dont stress, you'll pick stuff up as you go along. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as i do.
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:16, archived)

I didn't even attempt to read that.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

Neither did I
Nicked off ButterScotch, innit
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:22, archived)

I can get as far as the word better.
That's about it.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:23, archived)

I believed in you, man.
I believed.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

Yeah, what happened to me, Man?
My ass used to be beautiful
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

Fruity loops is a piece of piss
seriously, it's the kiddies toy of the music production world
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:20, archived)

What does it do?
How do I use it?
What is it?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

If you're serious
gaz me & I'll chat to you when I'm soberererer
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:26, archived)

you fucking talentless spastic
FL is the Fisher Price Activity Centre of sequencing programs

find a soldering iron and use it to poke your cerebellum out through your nostrils you useless fartbag
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:25, archived)

what is a sequencing program?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:29, archived)

a huge internet conspiracy to make you realise how talentless you really are

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

:(

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:32, archived)

didn't it come with a manual?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:36, archived)

It's like a targetting computer
for hi-energi dancefloor pulling
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:31, archived)

It's what they used to discover the genes in dna

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:35, archived)

It's a type of tree.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:37, archived)

Sequoia sempervirens

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:40, archived)

a program that allows sequins to be threaded onto fabrics

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:39, archived)

I know what you're saying. Fucking hard. :(
Someone TEACH MEEEE.
( Cae1, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

ing me
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

Oh baby.

( Cae1, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:50, archived)

Man, what a sub-thread!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:52, archived)

if i only i'd known what i was starting!

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:55, archived)

What the shit is this shit?
Enough, I say.
Hello. How are you all? You all look smashing, I must say. What's making you awesome today?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

I bet three more threads have startedby the time I post this

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Aww

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

I may be shit, but I'm not THAT shit

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

My ability to master x86 assembly.
/geek
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Well, that's awesome in some people's eyes.
It might be in mine, if I had any real idea what it is.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

It's programming at a very low level.
html - here

*big distance*

assembly - here
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

It's basically giving the computer instructions on the lowest (and fastest) possible level.
If it was 1980 instead of 2009, I'd now be well on the way towards making shitloads of money.

To give you an idea of how primitive it is: you can jump, move values around, add, subtract, shift bits, do bitwise logic, or call BIOS functions. That's it.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

You could probably still make money from it.
There are many older systems still being used, as they work so well.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

I was stared at when I could do assembly programming quite easily in first year
Crap at C++ etc though
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

That's precisely why I've given up ten minutes after starting to learn it,
as there's not much practical reason to learn it these days. At least with Z80/6502/PICmicro etc you're pretty much stuck with assembly.
( benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

well if you can do that
i know a nice place you could get a job on about 24k starting rising to 32
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

My new exercise regime.
Hello Aardvark, you're looking sharp, as usual.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Hello WHB. You needn't explain what's making you awesome, it's quite obvious.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

*fives*

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

I hit my sales target in work.
Also, these beers.

I'm sorry I don't have a fancy text generator to greet you with, Aardvark.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Well done.
And here you go.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

AAaaaA^aaAAaaaAaaAAAAaaaa^aaAaaAaAaAaaaAAaRRrR_RrRRrrrRr^RrrRr^dvAaAAaAaAaAaaaa_aaaAaAAAAaaA^aAaaAaArrRRRRrRrrrrrRrRRk_!!!!!!!!!^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

AAAAaAaaAaRRd_VAAAAaARrrrrk_!!!!!
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

That was a rather lacklustre effort.
I apologise.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

It's just cheating
mine was hand written, with love & html. Do the kids nowadays understand that? DO THEY?
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:01, archived)

it is hilarity!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Oh, you're still alive?
That fills me with a sticky substance not unlike glee.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

i have a long way to go yet!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Please try to drag it out for at least another fifty years or so, there's a good chap.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

will try!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:00, archived)

i've grown another six inches
just in a day
( scott,, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

That's quite the beard.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

You'll go blind if you keep doing that

( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

nearly midnight

( scott,, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

I have STUFF I need to speak to you about
you on msn at the moment?
( broadsword, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

I'm still dining out on my overhead kick at the football yesterday.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Was it a goal?
If so, that's fairly awesome. If not, then you just kicked the ball and fell over, which is not so much.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

It hit the crossbar :(
Looked spectacular, but as you say, it really is a failure.


What awesome things have you done today? I bet there are many.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Today I have lounged in the sun and changed colour a little
and sent several requests to sleep on people's couches in Bruges via couchsurfing.org, none of which have so far resulted in a response.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

lounging gets a big awesome thumbs up from me.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

Hi babe
a^AaaArrD_vVvVvV_aaaAaarr^RRrrkkKkk_kkKk!!^!!!!!!!!!!!
( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:53, archived)

Hello sexy.
:D
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

I am drinking beer and watching Oasis on Youtube
Memories appear to be flooding back.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

i saved the fuckin' water dragon man
THE FUCKIN WATER DRAGON
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:56, archived)

That fucker stole my shoes.
You should have let him die.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

nah man, the wheel of life wasn't turning
ghosts rising from graves and shit, i had to sort that out

i think it's worth a few shoes
( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

RED HOT GAY BUMSEX

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

Phwoar.
You just made me leak a little.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

Aa^Aa_AaRrrRr^RrdD_DdD^D_d^D_vVvvVV^VVA_{Aaaa^{ARRrrKkKk!!1!}}
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

Krissssssssssssssssy!
Hello there, you lovely thing.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:08, archived)

Well hello to you too, you vessel of pure testosterone and heat.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

@baldmonkey
Really, how?
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

@Karl
Stop it. People's lives depend on this place.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

@SickRik
Fuck off, there's a chap.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

BALLBAGS

( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)

Hello SickRik
How are you SickRik?
( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

SHOVE BROADSWORD UP YOUR COCK

( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

I was being so nice to you as well, SickRik
Frankly I'm upset, SickRik
( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:59, archived)

Now things are about to pick up.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

WHO WANTS A QUIZ?

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

OH TONIGHT IS SO GOOD

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

What's your funeral going to be like?

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

you're all invited!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

Free buffet?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

It better be in the Swansea Evening Post
like all good obituaries
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

why would i be in a jack paper?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

bollocks to that, I might miss MOTD

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Who won last night?
I was so totally going to do it but then I went out
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

ME.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

JackAction won by default.
It got called off after 11 questions.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

Why?

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

Did you not see the chaos that descended?

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

I have not

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

It was the kind of fun you'd enjoyed.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Aww, damn my social life :(

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

Social life.
Tsk.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

Spazz back through the archives to about 8.30 last night.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

started around here
b3ta.com/talk/archive/11635/
( weaver., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

people were disruptive and failed to take it seriously
online
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

Oh no
And so much work was put into it's preparation :(
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Jenpots started a twitter threadrush.
Karl got the blame.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

And yet, I didn't get stepped

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

:(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

I WAS SENSIBLE.
I kept it on /talk. :D
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

fucker
i did even tho i deleted my posts soon after grrr
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

See this, it's a tiny violin playing just for you.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

i think esme posted the first @everyone

( weaver., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

I was so up for it
until I passed out :/
( broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

@talk
let's not start this again, eh?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

no.
let's not.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

oh man,
it's captain hilarity himself!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Now might not be the time.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

OKAY.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

It's dying again.
Pick it up.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

BRING ON THE CRUMPETS!
Night all.
(mingeswingers, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

Really?
Really?
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Oh fuck I used italics

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

Sorry Grrrmachine :(

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

What the fuck are you blithering on about?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

WUH OH

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Twenty two years from now, when you look at your kid
you'll remember this moment, and you'll want to punch your child in the face so hard it breaks three knuckles.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

keep this up and they might promote you to bbc three head of comedy.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

Close

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

it has been.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

Acceptable use of italics.
Objection overruled.
(mingeswingers, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

wow, you're not shit and boring at all

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

You're everything that's wrong with the internet.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

I know
What's the solution? Genocide?
(mingeswingers, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

You could try fucking off.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Bring back twitter talk.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

I'm not getting stepped again.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Well don't do it to board next time.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

All the other boys were doing it :(

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

That's no excuse.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:38, archived)

I'll start a quiz....

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

I'm bored

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

I like that.
It's funny because you've used a popular phrase from a TV show and replaced ''wall'' with ''crumpets''.
I can only presume that you are now going to eat some crumpets before bed and I bid you good eating.


You tedious oaf.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Oh, is that what he's doing.
I retract my post, now. That's brilliant.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

I think he's used a popular phrase from an advert and replaced ''trumpets'' with ''crumpets''.

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Makes him sound less funny if I assume it was ''wall''.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

random!
omg.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

Crumpet your arse.
or something.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

Im reading the lyrics to Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love"
and if you change the anthemic chorus line to "dick with a glove", it seems alarmingly easy that the verses should describe Michael Jackson's final moments.

But I can't be arsed to rewrite it properly.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

maybe someone will do a non-hilarious parody version for us
that'd be just great
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'm on it.
Anything for you.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

cretin

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

God, you're fantastic.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

what goes black white blue michael jackson ha ha ha ha

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

If you ever type anything that makes me laugh
I'll paypal you fifty quid
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

If I make you laugh, can I have £20?

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

You make me laugh all the time
but it's not a particularly pleasant laugh. More a jeering half-snort.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

If I make you laugh pleasantly, can I have £20?

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I'll say yes
because by the time it happens twenty quid will only be enough to buy you a Chomp.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

I tried that with Sibod once
admittedly I only offered £10 but my money was safe
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

I'm only half as good as piston at comedy.
I've no chance.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

can i get in on this?
do you ever laugh?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

All the time
sometimes at things that aren't people dying.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

If I was Peter Pan, and Tinkerbell told me to clap
I'd laugh
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Actually, I'm chuckling just from writing that
fucking hell, even on the internet I have to amuse myself.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

blimey,
if that is what entertains you then, i apologise, for everything.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

if only you had the authority to do it on behalf of humanity

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

Can I get some of this virtual cash?

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

it's seems like you just tailed off half-way through that sentence
possibly the sweat getting in your eyes from the anticipation of using italics oh god I'm gonna cum hnnnnghhh
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

what are you blathering about now?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

you edited it, you spackfingered chronic masturbator
I bet your thumb and forefinger are curled up so far round eachother it looks like you've been wanking a pencil, and years of self abuse have locked them in a paralysing rictus so that you have to hit the space bar with the last joint of your index finger.
And if I called you a cunt you'd cry.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

someone ignored me today
I wept buckets
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

it's better to cry buckets than to eat from them

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

it's better to have bad taste than to taste bad

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

lol rofl bottle in front of me frontal lobotomy rather have the first one chuckle ho ho kill me now

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Christ, you must have huge goatse like tearducts.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Ooh good, we haven't had a wobble here in ages

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Someone wobbled at Gilgamesh earlier on.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

I think you've missed the point.
Look it's right, there.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

GOOD ONE FRIZ!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

OH, SSG

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

Like a pair of rutting stags.
Who've settled down with cups of tea and rich teas
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

he wanted them to put his ashes in a carrier bag
so that he could remain the same colour, and also remain a hazard to children.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

Thinking about the song.
It seems you're quite correct on this.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

FINALLY.
Moody Scottish Git.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Is this a Tennis thread?

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Nah, it's a MotoGP thread

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Oh grand

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

The compere in the Piston video asks the audience "not to boo him"

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

Bumraped by a tramp
That's one good punchline
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Fair play to him for having a go
Stupid him for not realising he was shit.

Someone should submit it to Chortle for their shit comedian of the week bit they have in the Friday news roundup....
( magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

How are we all.

Absolute fucking pleasure.

I failed my driving test three times.

Fucking distracting.

FUCKING FILMING BASTARD.

Yes, I failed my driving test.

Whore from hell.

How are you all?

Bumraped by a tramp.
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

aww
I failed my driving test when at the first zebra crossing I saw my first thalidomide woman carrying bags of shopping from what seemed her shoulders.

I burst out laughing.. then when i was apologising to the instuctor he proper went too.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

I passed on the fifth time
Even though I nearly ran over an OAP
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

lol
hahahah

sorry

just the word ´friz´ and ´ran´ in the same post.

well good on ya, i think i´m gonna do mine in spain and just bribe the instructor.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

There's something charmingly cuntish about you

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

did he upset oo :(:(:(:(:(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

No no, I'm saying I like the guy

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

oh good,
but you think he is cuntish,
i was all worried he might ov offended oo :(:(:(:(:(
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

A charming cunt
Like Gilgamesh. And Wormulus.

Or are you one of these people who see the word "cunt" and think it's a TERRIBLE WORD THAT SHOULD NEVER BE SAID?
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

sorry, i was just all worried,
that you might have been all offended by the person, it looked like you wuz agitated an dat, but i wuz rong, sorri
xx
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

APOLOGY ACCEPTED

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

but if you are a bit shook up by the meanness,
you know i am here for you
xxx
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

he´s mine
so fuck off
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

i like you too

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

as opposed to the more common-or-garden nauseating cuntishnish you provide

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

Ha, yeah
Yeah

I'm a cunt.

Ha
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Ha, yeah
Yeah

El Guiri's a cunt.

Ha
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Shut it, cancertits

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

lolfriz

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

cunt

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

oo low
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

He's got some serve on him, Jorge Lorenzo.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

has he done it yet?
COME ON TIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!!

without Nadal it´s not the same though. Viva rafa!
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

I think that we definately a 10 on the Henman scale
Previous matches didn't even rank.
( SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

It's a possible 11, considering he actually won.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

definately
imediatley

you looser
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Are you calling me a loser because I made a spelling mistake?
Because I think it's important to remember that it's better to try and fail than to never try at all.
( SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

no, I'm just trolling
careful with the apostrophes people, I'm on the warpath tonight
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

there should be a comma after "apostrophes" then
otherwise we'll get the impression there are a subset of humans made of, specialising in, or otherwise clarified by their worship of that particular punctuation mark.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

I'm toally flicking the V's at your post here
haha! stick THAT up your dog's arse, Captain Comma Correction
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

yeah, toally
like, cowaunga dude, gnary.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

awww
thats what proper spastics say
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

Don't try.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

It's more of a sentence mistake.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

stop being a pedant
no-one likes a pedant
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

You can cut it out aswell.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

Spelling pendantry is a terrible thing.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

Any kind of pedantry
be it car data, music snobbery, military history or semantics
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

What about hat knowledge?

( magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

There's nothing wrong with any kind of knowledge
but tearing a conversation apart just to point out that it wasn't mercury ACKtchally that drove hatmakers crazy and that it was actually a molybdenum/arsenic mix which LOOKS like mercury but has a higher melting point, that's just for queers and people with facial hair.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Damn, you failed to rise to my baiting.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

I'm as easy to bait as a fish with titanium cheeks

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

I'll try for a dorsal fin.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

First time in ages I've enjoyed watching a game of tennisball

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

I don't know if it was just me,
but the roof seemed to increase the atmosphere.
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

SCIENCE!

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Deuce.
or something.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

Not the best song Kiss ever did

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

So, it's been confirmed that Supermatt has not left his house
The world is a happier place.

How are you all tonight? I was out and have been nursing my hangover most of the day. Mainly with homemade honey ice tea.

What's YOUR hangover cure that hel-

...


I think this thread is going to be a shit one.

Sorry.
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

yes

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

What's the different between you and Ryan Bury?
One's got pancreatic cancer, the other is a crap and fatty flouncer
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

who is ryan bury?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

The guy baldmonkey outed as being fat

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

a chubby cunt apparently

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

Friz?

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

:(

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

xD

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

So, now you have TWO accounts in which to call me fat?

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Sterling work, that

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

One account alone cannot contain just how shit he is.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

He's going to blame me for that joke :(

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

His post will contain both an emoticon and the word lol.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

i was just too lazy to logout after my naughty step
im back now and love friz really

friz write a song for me loverboy. just press demo and get singing and recording
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/notgay.jpg
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

don´t hate me
just because people can put their arms all the way around me
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

I don't hate you
You just need to be comfortable with the fact you're gay
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

i´m probably the most anti-gay person you would ever meet

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

you horrible fucking homophobe

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

its not that
i´ve never met a normal one

you know, one who likes football, or who doesn´t talk about shagging guys none stop, or saying how all girls are slags... and the worse is those attention seeking ones who really camp it up.

i just don´t get on with gays. or french people.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

So you're homophobic?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

Purple profile

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

magenta ashully

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

to be fair,
there are far gayer photos of me, and the doveston.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

Yes
But you were both young and needed the money
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

I miss Ryan,
that lovely chubby kendal based cunt.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

I wonder if his friends know he's gay.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

here's a present
photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1970/164/92/670388995/n670388995_1142880_5947.jpg
( weaver., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

YAY!
:)
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

MORE CHINS THAN A CHINESE PHONE BOOK.
That's Ryan Bury, chubby cunt, of Kendal.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

What a rubbish present.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

OH WHO'S A CHEEKY CHAPPY?
( weaver., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

WOO!
Suggestion for image challenge: Shop Ryan Bury (from Kendal)!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

Is he that chubby cunt?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

He sure is.
The chubbiest of all the cunts (from Kendal).
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

like anyone here knows how to use photoshop.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

He looks like the manchild from Psychoville
"Sorry Mummy... I did a bad murder"
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

I'm going to knunder your face.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

You're going to put my face under a table?

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

[something unbeatably funny about needing a big table etc...]

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

lols

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

Why is everyone so harsh towards friz?
you cant see people on the internet until they put a shoe on their head
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

I've got the definition wrong.
Apologies.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

Sorry, what?
I have indeed left the house. I was at the pub with some friends.
( SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

I didnt drink today :[

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

That's a GOOD thing

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

it is?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

I'm quite tired but happy.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

I'm watching "the British tennis success story" Andy Murray and hoping that he doesn't become "the Scottish tennis failure" Andy Murray

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

oh, that joke
yeah. i like that jokes.
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

did we do this yet?
www.jamescartercomedy.com/
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

hahahaha
fantastic
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

Can you please Keyboard Cat it?

(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

Is James Carter Piston?

( magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

I believe that to be pissedon_bloke's real name, yes

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

hahahahaaa
Who put that together?
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

Ha
Fucking.

So yeah,. fucking notes.

I met a chav once.

Nothing really came of it.

Fuck.

So yeah, uh, cunts eh?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING

Yeah

So, fuck, yeah?

Right yeah
(__, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)