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Accidentally got up early this morning. Just been for a short walk, it's absolutely glorious out there.
Morning all.
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 7:38, archived)

It's rather pleasant
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 7:41, archived)
Indeed
Almost makes up for a miserable May.
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:47, archived)
Morning
It really is very lovely today, might go for a stroll along the beach before it fills up with chavs
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 7:50, archived)
Definitely a day for a stroll

(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:45, archived)
might stay inside and watch the sun travel across the sky until it descends into darkness again

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:02, archived)
That's always an option
Will you wrap yourself in a a black shawl and mutter profanities while you do it?
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)
you mean like a black mass? satan can go to hell for all I care

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 9:13, archived)
morning Clay
they've changed our work hours so that we're on 7.30 to 3.30, which is going to be excellent for the whole summer to just get away while it's still nice
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:08, archived)
that sounds great

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:21, archived)
It is, I was usually in about 7.30 anyway just to have a coffee and the like.
So this is effectively just an hours reduction for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)
Do you look after the accommodation? We weren't allowed to do fuck all till 10am at the lse, even work in plant rooms

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:22, archived)
We can't get on to anything much until 9.30
So the first couple of hours is busy work, tidy tge workshop a bit, maybe test some emergency lights and so on.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:59, archived)
Excellent
Definitely a good time of year for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:47, archived)
I've asked for the day off
I fancy grilling some sea bream and drinking some chilled Gavi.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:20, archived)
Suppose to hit 27 in town

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:23, archived)
work's quiet, seems like the perfect day for an impromptu day off

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:33, archived)
I have to stay till 330 on wednesdays now

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)
outrageous

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:54, archived)
I’d look into that, it doesn’t sound legal

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 5 Jun 2021, 0:08, archived)
Carpe diem
Or sea breame diem I guess. Sounds lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:49, archived)
fingers crossed I get the OK

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:54, archived)
alright C-Double

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 8:59, archived)
glorious indeed
2 June is "National Leave the Office Early Day"
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)
I have just knocked off, fucking magic
Not sure what to do with the day now, suggestions welcome
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 9:57, archived)
powdered peanut butter and milk burgers

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 10:05, archived)
light one up, have some wine with that and prepare the grill

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 10:05, archived)
Celebratory wank

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 10:08, archived)
alright, Gareth Cheeseman

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)
get tanked up and go and start a fight

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 10:34, archived)
Cheshire cheese is open and when I walked by at 4 yesterday it was empty

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:03, archived)
fire up the sonos and large it up to a Foo Fighters playlist on spotify

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:08, archived)
Killing spree at Nanos

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:26, archived)
Cheky

(dribble, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:28, archived)
Cheky Grils

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:28, archived)
Beer Grills

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 12:25, archived)
Leaving that typo for the lolz

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:29, archived)
I assumed it was deliberate
since google tells me there is a shop called nanos
(dribble, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:54, archived)
They have a micro-brewery

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 12:11, archived)
Strikey I strikey penis

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 19:54, archived)
the world's tiniest restaurant

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:46, archived)
I recommend the minute steak

(dribble, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:55, archived)
prepared by the short order cook

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:56, archived)
I'll have seconds please!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:57, archived)
Take up yoga

(dribble, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 11:28, archived)
I've relocated my office to the back garden today

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 12:11, archived)
strikey ri

(dribble, Wed 2 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)
the brick garden, mate? THE BRICK GARDEN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 2 Jun 2021, 13:23, archived)
Lunchtime Thread
Pot of snap baked beans, large battered cod, bread n butter; nice bunch of opiates to wash it down.
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 15:50, archived)
alright gonz, I see your diet ent changed

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Jun 2021, 15:55, archived)
Alright gonz

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 16:34, archived)
hello mate

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 16:44, archived)
I will be having a king prawn salad wrap

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)
You want to watch those opiates m8, they'll proper mess up your gu-... oh never mind.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 1 Jun 2021, 17:44, archived)
Yeah I heard they make it really difficult to take a shi-..ah, carry on

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 18:04, archived)
hiya

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:34, archived)
alright, "Peggy Bundy"

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:41, archived)
NRN m8, NRN

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)
thchrnclsf

(dribble, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:39, archived)
Haha, look at you!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:06, archived)
afternoon

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:26, archived)
Are you that one that constantly changed their name?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:30, archived)
dunno, might be

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:46, archived)
Hello
Clot appears to have gone, but I have to give myself injections for the next week. There is a pizza place in the hospital, cheap and the pizza is lovely
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)
Sadly not, m8 - not gone at all, see:
b3ta.com/talk/8303197
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)
Pff

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:44, archived)
morning
well that was a classic bank holiday weekend, lovely stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 8:04, archived)
Yes
we drove FROM LONDON TO PLYMOUTH AND BACK thus spending a good 11 hours in total on the road.
Classic bank holiday weekend shenanigans!

Actually, can't complain, the traffic was fine. Visited friends (lovely), went for a meal INSIDE (nothing special but felt like an occasion) and fitted in a visit to The Eden Project (the domes were great but the outside gardens have lacked attention during the pandemic, understandably).
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 8:25, archived)
the chap who owns the Eden project is great at self-promotion (like Branson used to be)
I've seen him on fucking loads of barely-related TV programmes, fair play to the man I suppose. Classic weekend of bbqs and brews here and a highly successful first attempt at peking duck, sorry brb, 'beijing duck'
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 8:48, archived)
Sounds very nice indeed

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 8:54, archived)
Lakeland have just emailed me a couple of burger recipes, one veg one that looks alright
But what the fuck is 'peanut butter powder'? I mean the clue's in the name I'm sure but that's a new one on me
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)
apparently it's peanut butter for dieters
www.hollandandbarrett.com/the-health-hub/food-drink/food/what-is-powdered-peanut-butter/
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)
Ohhh yeahhh

(dribble, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:09, archived)

diet wank
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:10, archived)
Eye test?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)
morning you fuckin wanker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:05, archived)
shut up you fucking stupid fucking cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:11, archived)
bit rude

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)
I'm so sorry, that wasn't my intention.
My intention was to be incredibly rude.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:11, archived)
alright , lovely weather this week

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:30, archived)
great innit
I'm tempted to take another day off to make the most of it
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:08, archived)
morning
Happy World Milk Day
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)
Some of us are lactose intolerant, you monster

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:00, archived)
drink powdered milk, then

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:03, archived)

milk peanut butter
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:11, archived)

powdered man
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:14, archived)
Man Peanut is the advertising logo and mascot of Planters, an American snack-food company and division of Kraft Heinz based in Chicago, Illinois.

(dribble, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)
I find that's a little dry.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:30, archived)
thanks m8, that means a lot
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:08, archived)
Funny. I didn't see that written down in my dairy

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)
Morning
Trip to radiology this morning to see what my leg is up to
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 9:59, archived)
good luck m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)
up to your pelvis, hopefully

(dribble, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)
Best foot forward

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:54, archived)
Full of vitamins E, D and L
imgur.com/C4IekTI
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:56, archived)
Also available:
St George's Wort
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:57, archived)
Echination

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)
Red pills

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:04, archived)
that's what you need

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:03, archived)
"A People first company"
people Britain
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)
They're clean, they're nasty and they're free

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 13:58, archived)
No it wasn't, you tit.
Not a spot of rain the entire time. FFS. FAKE BRIT!
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:24, archived)
well really

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:44, archived)
Having a pretty good break, so far
Plans to see friends and family, multiple BBQs, my favourite kitchen supplies shop has reopened, got an appointment to get some help with the hernia. Everything's coming up Twohats. So to speak.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:40, archived)

thing one
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)
Well y'know
I just appreciate the attention these days
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:44, archived)
heh
I've been bbqing like a fucking #ledge these past few days, might have to do another one later
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 11:50, archived)
Nice
Had one on Sunday, having another one today, and again on Thursday. Nothing fancy, but it's nice to be outside
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:16, archived)
6hr smoked pork ribs Sunday and spatchcocked* chicken yesterday
Adana kebabs l8r

*lol
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 1 Jun 2021, 12:19, archived)
Howdy doody! How's your day?
I hope it involves lots of alcohol.
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 31 May 2021, 17:16, archived)
mine has so far involved plenty of sweating
alcohol is just around the corner though
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 31 May 2021, 17:47, archived)
Open the van door a bit to let some of the puppy heat escape

(dribble, Mon 31 May 2021, 19:29, archived)

Is this some kind of phenomenon?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 31 May 2021, 20:00, archived)
WTFAYBOA?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 31 May 2021, 20:28, archived)
GITBOTV

(I helped save b3ta! brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Mon 31 May 2021, 22:32, archived)
fANFUCKINGTASTIC, oops, capslock.

(I helped save b3ta! brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Mon 31 May 2021, 20:09, archived)
Morning. Got anything nice planned for the bank hol?
Drive-by nonce-punching from the window of your Honda Accord? Writing a highly original best-selling children's novel about a boy wizard named Gary Popper? Or just wanking yourself raw as usual?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 31 May 2021, 8:29, archived)
morning
I had a tick on one of my bollocks. that's the thanks I get for mowing the lawn
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Mon 31 May 2021, 8:47, archived)
Yeesh, that sounds nasty.
Can you just sort of pull the off, or do you need to do something risky with fire?

Or is that leeches I'm thinking of?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 31 May 2021, 8:57, archived)
I thought you put salt on leeches, never had one
it was just very tiny mini baby tick that as of then had maybe only sucked three blood cells

#mypoorballs
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:07, archived)
Are you in the US? I've had Lyme disease twice, it's not good.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Mon 31 May 2021, 12:39, archived)
am not
and do not want
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Mon 31 May 2021, 12:52, archived)
How do you mow the lawn, scythe it with your penis?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:08, archived)
trade secret

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:20, archived)
How often do you have to empty your foreskin?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:21, archived)
I'm sorry but this is b3ta, not pr0na

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:33, archived)
Most likely to be a sheep tick from the sheep he uses to keep his lawn short. He steers it with his penis.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:35, archived)
"THIS WAY! THIS WAY! THIS WAY! THIS WAY!"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Mon 31 May 2021, 12:39, archived)
^tess tick ills

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:11, archived)
That's fantastic.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 31 May 2021, 9:26, archived)

i mowed the lawn. but some tick ate my testicle. I didn't like it.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:44, archived)
"I sucked a ball and I liked it" - Katie Parasite

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:48, archived)
"the taste of his sweaty nutsack"

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Mon 31 May 2021, 10:25, archived)

Tick bo(llo)cks exercise.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 31 May 2021, 11:05, archived)
Nike testicles, next level

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Mon 31 May 2021, 15:47, archived)
Working
and trying to find out why two of my colleagues have been off for weeks and nobody's telling me why. It's like that episode of Star Wars were members of the crew kept vanishing and only the doctor remembered them.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:10, archived)
maybe they got fired for asking too many questions

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❀️🌟❀️, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:20, archived)
It's all tied into all the conspiracy theories, I just know it.
If I stop posting, tell the Icke forums - they're our only hope.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:21, archived)
alright catnipppppppp

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❀️🌟❀️, Mon 31 May 2021, 11:52, archived)
Nobody tell him, it's funnier this way.

(I helped save b3ta! brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Mon 31 May 2021, 13:13, archived)
morning tea, I'm going for a ride to Windsor, hope the queens up for it

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:17, archived)
Well one is single and ready to mingle, these days.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 31 May 2021, 9:27, archived)
I'm off to Wales! Heard there's a lot of slags there.
Heaps of them I was told.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:37, archived)
Not even in my top 10 Dinobots

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:42, archived)
Go to Vegas
there are so many sluts you won't know where to begin
(dribble, Mon 31 May 2021, 11:49, archived)
Not much
Just chilling
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 31 May 2021, 9:52, archived)
Mind your own business

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 31 May 2021, 11:53, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 31 May 2021, 14:01, archived)
Anyone else missing their Funday Times in the paper delivery today?

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sun 30 May 2021, 10:23, archived)
I get my news from here and fb

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 30 May 2021, 11:24, archived)
I just use my galaxy-brain to directly access objective reality whenever I want to know what's going on.
That way I can avoid being hoodwinked by the propaganda and lies in the Ziono-capitalo-imperialist lamestream media.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 30 May 2021, 13:07, archived)
'Ark at Ludwig Boltzmann over 'ere.

(I helped save b3ta! brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 30 May 2021, 13:20, archived)
*commits thermodynamic suicide*

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 30 May 2021, 13:21, archived)
Oh Kelvin :(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 30 May 2021, 16:05, archived)
Well that just takes the fun out of everything

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 30 May 2021, 14:34, archived)
i just watch Novara and read Tribune

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 30 May 2021, 15:55, archived)
I bet there is another sodding whale in the bloody thames.

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sun 30 May 2021, 13:52, archived)
No, it's just boris having a swim

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 30 May 2021, 14:35, archived)

It's sunny out there and I'm about to start drinking. What are you all about?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 29 May 2021, 16:53, archived)
I've been busier than a dog with two dicks
So I can't stop
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 29 May 2021, 17:17, archived)
<s>dicks</s> bumholes

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Sat 29 May 2021, 20:36, archived)
i'm all about resting today
i've already had to give myself an injection, that's enough for one day
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 29 May 2021, 17:31, archived)
heroin lols

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Sat 29 May 2021, 20:40, archived)
Fragmin

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 30 May 2021, 9:00, archived)
I'm going to take the dog out for a second walk in a bit, there is a new Offspring album i've not heard so want to go ahead with that.

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sat 29 May 2021, 17:45, archived)
Dogs are shit and rubbish

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Sat 29 May 2021, 20:37, archived)
I found this review useful

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sat 29 May 2021, 21:12, archived)
I found this review useful

(I helped save b3ta! Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Sat 29 May 2021, 22:25, archived)
^ Verified Parrot

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 30 May 2021, 4:59, archived)
dogs eat shit and rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Sat 29 May 2021, 23:30, archived)
dogs shit shit and rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Sun 30 May 2021, 4:58, archived)
One man's trash innit.
Those used disposable facemasks are right tasty.
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sun 30 May 2021, 10:22, archived)
Soez ur m0m, soez ur d4d.

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sun 30 May 2021, 10:19, archived)
already started drinking, so that's one productive thing I've done today
I also snapped up a new galvanised steel barbecue chimney at the shops, because my old iron one's been out in the rain for a year and is rusted to fuck

going to test it out shortly
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 29 May 2021, 18:23, archived)
Do you really need to test a chimney? Pretty sure I could tell just by looking at it whether smoke would come out or not.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝΙ₯Κ‡ sΚ‡I ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉΙ₯Κ‡ ǝʇɐΙ₯ l, Sat 29 May 2021, 20:39, archived)

Drinking was successful, now I'm waiting for tom yum soup. Simple things.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 29 May 2021, 20:50, archived)
No you dont. Unless you want to sell or insure. Scams

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 29 May 2021, 21:03, archived)
And you'll never use that chiminea agaiiiin, oh no

(dribble, Sat 29 May 2021, 21:17, archived)
You should cook with rusty iron stuff, it's good for the blood.

(I helped save b3ta! brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 30 May 2021, 12:24, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 29 May 2021, 8:34, archived)
Morning Queef.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 29 May 2021, 9:05, archived)
G'day ya mangrul

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 29 May 2021, 9:49, archived)
Lovely day for it
Wanking, I mean
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 29 May 2021, 9:37, archived)
I've already filled one cocked hat and it's not even 10am

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 29 May 2021, 9:50, archived)
morning everybody on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 29 May 2021, 9:40, archived)
No real names pls

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Sat 29 May 2021, 9:50, archived)
the net
the net
everybody on the internet
(dribble, Sat 29 May 2021, 10:17, archived)
I had smokey bacon crisps for breakfast

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 29 May 2021, 10:07, archived)
which milk

(dribble, Sat 29 May 2021, 10:27, archived)
Man, would be my guess.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 29 May 2021, 13:42, archived)
hi

(dribble, Sat 29 May 2021, 10:17, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 29 May 2021, 11:56, archived)
Morning? How's your masturbation going, I haven't been in months. I'm saving up until I see a really good porno - the kind where there is a whole room of grannies pissing in each other's mouth.

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sat 29 May 2021, 14:03, archived)
Heezus it's dead in here.
Hopefully everyone is out having fun
(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sat 29 May 2021, 15:38, archived)
Are you the ur-Gonz?
Wotcha, m8.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 29 May 2021, 17:04, archived)
Alright mate? Yup, 'tis me =)

(Gonz Chill dude, 🫢🍁🫢, Sat 29 May 2021, 17:43, archived)
2/7 helmit kohl
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-57268381
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 15:53, archived)
3/7 Archbishop Desmond Tutu

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:04, archived)
I never know the answers to any of these. I always have to guess

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:04, archived)
I just click through them randomly selecting answers without reading the questions most of the time
That's how utterly waki and kerrazy I am
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:08, archived)
Haha, you're out of blummin control!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:28, archived)
honestly I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:51, archived)
2/7 mong campbell

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:04, archived)
He knows about that sort of thing.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 28 May 2021, 18:42, archived)
how would brb handle this one I wonder
he hates racists, but these racists are foreign, so if he hates them he's being a racist. What a conundrum
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:10, archived)
I consider all spanyards half chat anyway

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:17, archived)
"Stamp out racism!" - brb

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:39, archived)
"gassing racists makes you free!" - brb

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:52, archived)
I bet he's painted his living room in 'brilliant white' from Jewlux

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 17:05, archived)
Meanwhile, on /board
I'm guessing it won't be long before a full-on wannabe-fascist meltdown
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 17:18, archived)
mmmm, internet autism

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 17:23, archived)
Or Jewson, even.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 28 May 2021, 18:44, archived)
bit racist, m8

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 19:15, archived)
Take it up with them, m(2^3).

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 28 May 2021, 19:21, archived)
Haha
Oh dear
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:28, archived)
4

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:09, archived)
+skin

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:10, archived)
+ tones

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 17:14, archived)
3/7
I'm off to A&E. Doctor is being overly cautious.


I hope.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 16:53, archived)
good luck m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 17:03, archived)
Thanks
This place is fucking rammed, it's going to be hours before I get seen
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 17:39, archived)
2/7 leaky hoop

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 28 May 2021, 18:39, archived)
3/7, shit as fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 28 May 2021, 19:49, archived)
4/7 Fay Wray

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Fri 28 May 2021, 22:31, archived)
9/11 George Bush

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 22:54, archived)
qu/n

(dribble, Fri 28 May 2021, 23:02, archived)
Thread West
alright bumhole's, how's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:09, archived)
Sweet, just finished

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:10, archived)
nice, wish I could do the same
fuck all going on here
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:31, archived)
If normality does return on 21st of june I'll be fucked, but as people in london are acting like prcks I doubt it'll happen

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:54, archived)
sunny bank holiday weekend = superspreader event

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:17, archived)
Fuck em, I've had my jabs

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 28 May 2021, 14:14, archived)
beaut and sweet as
got a Zoom call at 2, tempted to sack it off for the day after that
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:28, archived)
u shud lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:32, archived)
Alright, might go out and burn down a 5G, nice weather for it

(dribble, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:15, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8303016
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:18, archived)
Literally just finished watching a documentary on Fred and Rose West
Onto Harold Shipman now
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:17, archived)
if you have Netflix I thoroughly recommend Sons of Sam

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:19, archived)
I read about the cult stuff a number of years ago
But as it unfolds, the story here seemed to be more about the investigator. Interesting stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 15:13, archived)
Basically he started off with valid criticisms of the original investigation but then lost his mind over the subsequent decades
Ended up believing any load of nonsense he could make fit his narrative.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 15:38, archived)
So..... expecting things to go well with the niece then?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:19, archived)
I can't even find my bra
She's shifted the place up good and proper
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 12:58, archived)
^left your knickers in yer boyfriend's car

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 13:07, archived)

Cow's gonna come a cropper.

There you go. Lyrics.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 13:26, archived)
Told the mental I had to go to Tesco for a new blue ray player
She came with me for a bit of shopping and insisted on paying for the thing for me. That's saved me Β£59.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 15:07, archived)
Central team's getting VERY controlling over brand identity and how our logo's used
a diktat has gone out and my colleagues are revolting. There is talk of the central team "acquiring scary new powers." It's like being in the West Wing!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 13:48, archived)
FRIDAY DRAMA

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 14:14, archived)
Working working working. Want to get some shit tied up before I'm off next week
Also, had a couple of friends over for lunch. Like a normal human being. It was weird.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 15:11, archived)
It's the end of another week (sad)
but it's the start of a bank holiday weekend (happy)

MORNING!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 7:48, archived)
It's not a bank holiday here (indifferent)
morning
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 7:53, archived)
Don't be ashamed of being indifferent
god loves all his children
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:00, archived)
morning, morning
I'm thinking of going keto. Anybody done it?
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:00, archived)
Morning
not me.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:01, archived)
Morning
No, and I wouldn't, but you knock yourself out.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:24, archived)
hmm
my brother lost a lot of weight on it

also lol: "keto is associated with a variety of unpleasant side-effects, including keto flu, keto breath, keto diarrhea, and keto crotch (an unpleasant vaginal odor)"
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:27, archived)
I do not have a vag, so whatevs

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:28, archived)
you *are* a vag, m8
with an unpleasant odour, to boot
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:48, archived)
I'm very wary of all fad diets.
Exercise more and stop eating shite, that's usually enough for most people. However, as it says at the top of that page, low-carb diets can work for a morbidly obese person. It's just that in most cases, they don't.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:32, archived)
calories in < calories out = weight loss
amazing, who knew eh
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:47, archived)
woah

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:51, archived)
ikr

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:10, archived)
fuck no

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:45, archived)
The bodyguard driver lifestyle wasn't for me

(dribble, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:48, archived)
I've got next week off innit

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:02, archived)
OooOOoooh!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:17, archived)
*raises handbag*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:05, archived)
eww yew lurky durk

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:49, archived)
Mrs Hats is getting her second jab on Sunday, so she'll be sick until Tuesday
I have an early hospital appointment one day, she has an appointment on another. It won't be the holiday of my dreams, but at least we don't have to do anything
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:05, archived)
17 June for my jab #2, cannae wait, sick or not


lol number two - you know, like a shit!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:08, archived)
morning
as they say on "b3ta"
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:29, archived)
they DO!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:34, archived)
speak for yourself m8 - I never say that

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:49, archived)
Dibnah

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:02, archived)
Cut-me-own-rope

(dribble, Fri 28 May 2021, 11:43, archived)
My stress and anxiety levels are finally dropping
So I'm going to spend the weekend relaxing as much as possible
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:31, archived)
Gonna be a sunny one, by all accounts
you a Pimms kind person? I don't think much of it, m'self. Shove that much fruit in a drink you could have ribena and meths at its core and it'd taste the same, but hey.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:36, archived)
my wife has a violent hatred of Pimms for some reason
I think it's from being forced to attend too many City corporate summer 'events'

#RichardsAnecdotes
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:41, archived)
I turbo it with vodka

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:56, archived)
Pimm's is disgusting
Overpriced alcoholic fruit salad. Won't be sitting in the garden anyway, it's warm here but likely to be raining most of the weekend
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:16, archived)
I'm very glad to see the back of this week tbh
what a load of shit

tl;dr morning
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:48, archived)
Yep, the cuntery count has been high this week

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:56, archived)
what is this cuntery coming to, etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 28 May 2021, 8:57, archived)
well I never
they're unveiling a blue plaque for Hendrix just up the road from me today

www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/purple-haze-by-jimi-hendrix-newham-heritage-plaque-online-event-tickets-154687357049

I'll be walking past there tomorrow on our way out for a picnic
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:06, archived)

"... excuse me, while I kiss this guy" wahh wahh wahh, wahh wahh sqeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:12, archived)
wow, it's like he's actually here right now

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:17, archived)
I get an extra day off on Tuesday and all thanks to the queen
Gawd bless ya, yer majesty
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 May 2021, 9:50, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302899
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Fri 28 May 2021, 10:00, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302905
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 May 2021, 10:01, archived)
Once again I get my news from b3ta, DAMN YOU COVID 19

(dribble, Fri 28 May 2021, 10:05, archived)

cheers
(Runcorn shitty limits, Thu 27 May 2021, 22:21, archived)
anal

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 May 2021, 23:13, archived)
b3ta, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 28 May 2021, 3:24, archived)
Hi guy's, Queef is here, how are you?
Work's deathly quiet so I'm fannying about on the internet looking at recipes for the weekend. Going to try to make Chinese crispy duck on Saturday, not done that before.

What have you not done that before?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 12:53, archived)

Beer-can chicken.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 27 May 2021, 12:57, archived)
it's great, good in the oven as well as on the bbq

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:22, archived)
I've been to paradise
but I've never been to me.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:01, archived)
I have, it's a shithole
1/10 avoid
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:23, archived)
That's *your* me
*my* me may be amazing. It may also be like watching Hellraiser after honking great line of ketamine but I won't know till I try...
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:26, archived)
Also, there's a smell of crisps around
what does that mean? I don't have any crisps.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:26, archived)
Someone hid a potato down the back of the sofa

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:37, archived)
best euphemism ever.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:09, archived)
Have chips with that

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:26, archived)

You're about to have a fit.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 27 May 2021, 13:39, archived)
lol fit

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Fri 28 May 2021, 3:25, archived)
you're having a stroke
lol stroke
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:09, archived)
It means an Irishman is about to come into your life
lol come
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:39, archived)
off you pop then

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:49, archived)
My me Cyrus
Is she still a thing? I have no idea about anything anymore
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:53, archived)
I do hope not, she seemed like a right wazzock

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:03, archived)
She always looked like she smelled funny

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:29, archived)
Of crisps?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:48, archived)
Yeah, but not good crisps
Something like Ringo's or Chipsticks
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:54, archived)
Chipsticks are great

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:00, archived)
I'm not a crisps man on the whole but chipsticks are indeed great imho
Actually the Sainsbo's knockoffs are even better, more vinegary
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:59, archived)
Smith's ready salted for me nommy

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:56, archived)
Nothing made her sadder than the agent lost his bladder

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:17, archived)
On the airplane?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:23, archived)
Bet you own that too

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:09, archived)
This may shock you
But I don't
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:29, archived)
Not terrible enough eh
that fine line where something is too boring to be entertainingly bad
(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:47, archived)
I do like it
I just don't own it yet
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 22:16, archived)
oh

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:29, archived)
Still cant get no trips, I'm never going to tune in and drop out at this rate

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:35, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:47, archived)
Made sourdough bread
Also, with duck, prick the breast to stop it being too fatty
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:35, archived)
I will, pan fry to render the fat out, then glaze, and finally slow cook in the oven finishing up at top whack to crispen
quite a lot of work, fucked if I'm making the pancakes too
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 13:48, archived)
Dont , you want the fat in the duck

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:35, archived)
my wife's phobic about fat, the prick
as a result I've not had a Sunday belly pork roast in 5 years apart from once at the pub, my kid and I used to love those, cheap as shit as well. It's rubbish, she knows it's irrational but hey ho, there are worse things I suppose
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:04, archived)
If it's a whole duck , just use a baking tray with a mesh grill and drain the fat as you turn it every 30 mins

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:27, archived)
gotcha, ta

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:31, archived)
I pricked a duck's breast and ended up being banned from the park.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:10, archived)
^Live TV covid injector

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 14:20, archived)
I saw some black duck-like things in the park that I'd never seen before so had to google "black ducks with white bills"
Coots apparently.

I am 34.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:15, archived)
Mad as a coot, proper little nutters those. I nursed one back to health over a summer of 4 day week fishing. Gimpy I named him. Woke up one day with it sitting on my chest pecking me freaked me right out

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:44, archived)
aww
I once slept at a mates and woke up to find his cat stood on my chest staring right in my eyes from about 2 inches away.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:09, archived)
I see Amazon have bought MGM, although I can't tell if it's the whole corporation or just the lion's share.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:56, archived)
Bezos just wants to be associated with Tom's racist stereotype owner

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 16:04, archived)
Alright Rich.
I discovered Yvonne Fair's The Bitch is Black the other day, great stuff:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdeHMKnAZiQ
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 15:58, archived)
ain't that the truth
PS alright m8 how's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:09, archived)
not bad, can't complain really.
You?
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:10, archived)
same I suppose, ticking over
better than 'fucking awful'
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:15, archived)
*nods*

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 18:00, archived)
I'd say "your nan", but I was taught it was wicked to lie.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 May 2021, 16:10, archived)
mama done raise you right, boy

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:21, archived)
garold I've just bought some crisps
haven't opened them yet but you never know
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 17:51, archived)
I tried Walker's chicken tikka masala the other day.
They have an odd cucumber aftertaste and also deviously only give you 5 bags in a multipack compared to the usual 6 you find in the 'big three' flavours.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick &#8207;, Thu 27 May 2021, 18:12, archived)
sounds like they've included the raita for free

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 18:13, archived)
but forgotten the popadoms

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:15, archived)
Motherfuckers

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:59, archived)
mor
ning
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 7:56, archived)
Al-morning, as they say in perfumèd Araby.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 May 2021, 8:19, archived)
hard a-Sterne

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:22, archived)
let me get this in here
R.I.P. Eric Carle, May 23rd, aged 91, most known for being author of

The Very Hungry Caterpillar
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:39, archived)
The very hungry worms

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:46, archived)
Congratulations Eric Carle, aged 91, on your death aged 91 on May 23rd which was the day of your death on May 23rd

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:53, archived)
he was an ad-man and the book was a project cynically designed to be commercially successful
he was no Oliver Postgate
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:56, archived)
Thank fuck for that, I don't think I could stand that level of crywanking on /board again.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:06, archived)
I doubt many authors go into it hoping or thinking that their new project will sink without trace
not really a viable income stream
(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:37, archived)
no but some children's authors do it because they love the kiddiewinkles

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:40, archived)
there's a difference between writing a children's book and hoping it will be successful
and writing one following market testing and research, and brainstorming sessions where you have tried to calculate maximum appeal as if you were planning an advert for a new plastic toy. Maybe I'm just an old romantic* at heart but I think that's horrible.

*haha, I'm certainly not a 'New Romantic' hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:45, archived)
Or you can go the Julia Donaldson route, and just rip off the work of other people

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:46, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8302824
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:48, archived)

lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:58, archived)
That's how pretty much everything is made now though
If you want financial backers, you have to persuade them using pretty graphs and lots of numbers, much as we'd like to think so concept is no longer king, if kids are involved it's peak cynicism and box ticking
(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:55, archived)
Carle's fault

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:57, archived)
Nobody did it better

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 12:25, archived)

The modern music industry.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 27 May 2021, 16:19, archived)
So I think what you're saying is, he tried very hard to produce a book for children based upon what children like?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 27 May 2021, 19:13, archived)
Gives them something to whine about on Twitter, though.
And in a way, isn't that what they really want?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:47, archived)
Morning
I wanted bacon for breakfast this morning, but was bitterly disappointed to discover that it was all gone
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:27, archived)
people have rioted for less

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:29, archived)
ALL gone? Like, everywhere?
wow. Dominic Cummings never said anything about THAT. I blame BoJo
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:29, archived)
Well I've got some in my fridge right now, so ner.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 May 2021, 8:49, archived)
Cummings in the fridge

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:38, archived)
Belinda Carlisle'szzzzzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 12:00, archived)

theshield.fandom.com/wiki/William_Greeley
(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 12:32, archived)
You ate it all, you mean

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:39, archived)
No
The lodger is back. She ate it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:30, archived)
Not THE NIECE?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:39, archived)
Yes
Unfortunately
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:11, archived)
mind you if you're out of work the extra cash must be welcome
my brother's fucked when he doesn't have a lodger
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:56, archived)
It will certainly come in handy
But I think I'd rather be skint and have peace and quiet in my own home
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 27 May 2021, 12:35, archived)
Loop di loop di love

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:29, archived)
*shakes tail-feather*

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:34, archived)
Ah, now we're talking

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:16, archived)
greater
ning
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

how about this eh: mymodernmet.com/vinyl-album-covers-alex-bartsch/
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:07, archived)
I've seen that. Great concept - tempted to buy the book actually

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:10, archived)
the question is: would that fall under 'no vinyl purchases' or not?

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:14, archived)
definitely

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:17, archived)
in truth I'm not buying anything for the foreseeable, I overspent on jr's birthday present

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:19, archived)
that's a good thing to overspend on though

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:24, archived)
Because we haven't been able to go on holiday since summer 2019
The last 18 months has very much been about buying toys. That's how I've justified it, anyway 😁
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:40, archived)
as and when the mrs gets back to work, that's when the cool shit can start again for us
until then it's a case of hanging on in there, nervously watching the bailout my mums gave us to stay afloat not-so-slowly trickling away
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:47, archived)
Good times will roll again, brother
God knows you guys have been patient enough
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:04, archived)
when shit gets tough it does help focus the mind on the small stuff that you can enjoy
a walk in the sun, a nice home-cooked meal, a fucken big fat joint, you know, that kind of stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:17, archived)
Couldn't agree more

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:38, archived)
Morning Turing's

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:38, archived)
broad
sword
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 9:44, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 27 May 2021, 10:12, archived)
y

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:18, archived)
new snapback arrived, u will be xstatic 2 here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 27 May 2021, 10:24, archived)
k

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 27 May 2021, 10:29, archived)

A blustering idiot way out of his depth, a bully demanding respect when none has been earned, a boor who delivers volume and repetition in place of substance, a buffoon who focuses on trivialities and laughs at tragedy, a self-aggrandising narcissist, a overly defensive coward incapable of admitting his own shortcomings, who drops down a gear purely to go through the sombre motions and say the right things when it will save his hide, yet feels and means none of it.
(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:50, archived)
That's my CV sorted.

(dribble, Thu 27 May 2021, 11:50, archived)
Cummings throwing Hancock under the bus
Who would you like to throw under the bus?
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:10, archived)
al-Assad

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:19, archived)
Brexit

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:27, archived)

mings throwing Han
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:31, archived)
Reg Varney

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:35, archived)
watching them all tear each other to shreds in public is very satisfying
cunts, the lot of them
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:39, archived)
Rosa Parks
WEEEOOOO! WEEEOOOO!
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:40, archived)
THAT BITCH

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:41, archived)
!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 27 May 2021, 0:43, archived)
Clement Attlee

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:42, archived)
immigrants

(Baggenfork, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:48, archived)
Percy Thrower
see how *he* likes it
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:50, archived)
"Influencers"

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:57, archived)
I get them contacting me at work all the time, asking for free shit, I of course tell them to fuck off
It used to be TV programmes asking for stuff, they would claim having your firm's name whizzing by in the end credits was good for your business ffs, as if anyone watches the credits or would give a fucking shit even if they did
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:06, archived)
this is the trick to get 'influencers' to fuck off:
'buy it at full price and I'll give you a voucher code to publicise to your '10 billion followers' - if it's used 50 times in the next three months I'll issue you with a full refund'

then they stop emailing
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:09, archived)
Scroungers hate him!

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:46, archived)
The 'ole bloody lot of 'em, pardon my French!
Lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:05, archived)
no way, you can't say that on the internet!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:10, archived)
No, but I can say it on the web, and that's all that matters

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:27, archived)
can you say it on the information superhighway though?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:39, archived)
I bet you fucking can't

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:40, archived)
Wow. Turns out I can't
How about that
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 18:46, archived)
Cancelled

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:15, archived)
Popular beat combo ‘Throwing Muses’

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:16, archived)
WILLYWIPES

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 26 May 2021, 17:22, archived)
Fuck you, mods!!!!!!!1111!!!

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:24, archived)
The entire Conservative party

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 26 May 2021, 17:54, archived)
Democratic Will Of The People

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 18:11, archived)
+y

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 18:13, archived)
+wipes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 26 May 2021, 18:14, archived)
I'm proper gonna fuck you up if you keep coming after me.

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 26 May 2021, 19:42, archived)
willy + wipes, maybe yours will catch on

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 26 May 2021, 19:44, archived)
"I could shoot someone and I wouldn't lose any voters" - Britain Trump

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 18:15, archived)
Trannies
WHAT'S WRONG WITH EMBRACING THE GENITALS YOU WERE BORN WITH, EH?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 26 May 2021, 21:54, archived)
alt: planearm
/change my mind
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 26 May 2021, 21:55, archived)
Reminds me of this
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/344/006/0cb.jpg
(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 22:10, archived)
Let's start with ne'er-do-wells

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Thu 27 May 2021, 0:44, archived)
I just had my 12-month appraisal. I need to improve in several areas.
how have you performed over the last year?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 13:15, archived)
Very well, I would say
Working from home has enabled me to do a whole lot more than I would going in to the office.

Oh, you mean on here? Same.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 13:48, archived)
What changes can we make to the workplace
to accommodate your disability?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:12, archived)
medical marijuana

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:17, archived)
Fucking hippy

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:21, archived)
Like a boxed frog when others are watching

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 13:58, archived)
Your skills are somewhat out of date
can we help you with retraining?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:12, archived)
Nah, past it, better get me off to the knackers yard
replace me with some punchable workshy "tick tocker" with an iced gem haircut
(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:21, archived)
great, I can start Monday

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:30, archived)
Remember the day you up and left?
I nearly cried myself to death (oh yeah)
And then I met someone else
She made me stop and get a hold of myself, oh yeah
I'm doing fine now
Without you, baby
I'm doing fine now
Without you, baby
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:03, archived)
Let's try to get through the next year
with fewer complaints about groping, up skirting and sex texting shall we?

It's your own fault for dressing like a cheap slut anyway, the men can't help themselves when you're around. You should take it as a complement.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:14, archived)
Admirably.
I just need to make more money. It doesn't matter how.

Can anyone give me Β£2,000,000?
(I helped save b3ta! brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:04, archived)
Sure, if you can kill everyone between me
and the throne.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:15, archived)
if I want to make more bread, I need to prove in several areas

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:11, archived)
Well, I know the song says Go West
but I'd say, go yeast.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:15, archived)
stick a damp teatowel over your head until you've doubled in size

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:18, archived)
Something racist about Arabs

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:20, archived)
and get your ass to mars

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:46, archived)
Like a donkey ready to be shot into space

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:12, archived)
oh come on, you're just trying to get a rise out of him here m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:18, archived)
I have more bread puns but they are all terrible and have been done to death

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:30, archived)
I was going to post one but it was half-baked

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 May 2021, 14:58, archived)
My performance review is next week and I have to provide evidence of progression
Might show them my B3ta account posting history
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:01, archived)
Bums and willys, give me a pay rise of 50 milly

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:03, archived)
Poos and wee
you'll get 5p
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:35, archived)
Mneurgh I'm a big gay spaz who loves it up my bum-bum - give me a tidy sum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:43, archived)
Worth ten quid an hour, turtle power

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:47, archived)
Check out *this* personal growth

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:44, archived)
rather badly

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:45, archived)
tell them to get fucked and then find yourself another job
that worked for me
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 May 2021, 15:55, archived)
Soz was out, I'm a bit late with the strikey
my -month pp aisal. I need to improve in veral area
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 26 May 2021, 16:14, archived)
Gninrom.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 May 2021, 8:47, archived)
I... who....
what? Eh?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 May 2021, 8:54, archived)
And to my rescue, it was the S1Ws!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 May 2021, 10:45, archived)
Social 1nsʇᴉɔǝ Warriors?
This thread is more confusing than Tenet.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 26 May 2021, 10:47, archived)

Porcupine DESTROYED with FACTS and LOGIC!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 26 May 2021, 11:05, archived)
well really

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 9:24, archived)
Mr. Tea

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 26 May 2021, 9:46, archived)
Smashey.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 May 2021, 10:43, archived)
yadsendew haey kcuf ,aet gninrom

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 26 May 2021, 10:16, archived)
!yas zdik lwek eht sa ,"yad pmuH"

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 May 2021, 10:44, archived)

Why's everyone Polish this morning?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 26 May 2021, 11:05, archived)
yeah wtf, I voted for Brexit to prevent this kind of shit from happening

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:12, archived)
Murdered grrry, you mean

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:18, archived)
that as well

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:41, archived)
There's been a grrrrrdrrrrrr

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:41, archived)

Now I want an Irn Bru.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 26 May 2021, 12:07, archived)
Morrisons do, or did, 2 litres of "iron brew"
even more luminous than what it was ripping off, probably make your kids glow
(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:11, archived)
Just call me charlie

(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:07, archived)
Now what?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 10:50, archived)

y.yarn.co/a3ed4cb2-1cd4-41ec-a191-b1deea5827f5_text.gif
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:00, archived)
alright, "Trading Places"

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:04, archived)
not bad thanks m8, u?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:05, archived)
yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:37, archived)
What an odd thing to say
No offense
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:45, archived)
to be fair, that is my real name

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:15, archived)
But it's pronounced "Trah-thing Pluchay"

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:20, archived)
correct, I'm actually from the Sussex Trading Places'
we're in the Domesday Book
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:58, archived)
Look, I'm a karate man, alright?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 26 May 2021, 11:44, archived)
not NRFB, worthless

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:36, archived)
Condition is Used
has had a thorough wash after it was up my arse
(dribble, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:47, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 26 May 2021, 12:36, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 8:42, archived)
that's what you said

(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky β˜ΉοΈβžπŸš»βžπŸš½βžπŸ˜£βžπŸ’©βžπŸ§»βžπŸ˜, Wed 26 May 2021, 8:44, archived)
I did and I don't care who knows it

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 26 May 2021, 8:56, archived)
I'm just here so I don't get fined

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 26 May 2021, 9:10, archived)
oooh, what's going on (what's going on)
Seriously, what's going on?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:14, archived)
bit Gaye m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:14, archived)
I see that one out of Juno has had their tits removed.
Does transitioning to male but still being attracted to females mean they're not gay any more? I just can't keep up
(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:43, archived)
HATE SPEECH, modssss

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:43, archived)
he's divorced his wife, but I think that was more about her not being attracted to him any more now he's a man

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:50, archived)
How superficial
you should love what's inside
(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:05, archived)
that's what she said

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:32, archived)
I've never been attracted to someone's kidneys

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:44, archived)

youtu.be/x4fC_XHTWx0
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 25 May 2021, 16:56, archived)
I've always wanted to try those

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:03, archived)
they're delicious

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:21, archived)
Looks like Pedigree Chum

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:32, archived)
...but enough about your nan's minge

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:53, archived)
Now I do like deviled kidneys
But I wouldn't trust anyone else to make them, they usually end up overcooked and tough
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:54, archived)
oh I don't know, I trust Fergus Henderson to deliver the goods
the man's a fucking wizard
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 18:20, archived)

Ellen Page has spit in the face of God with her unholy acts, and shat in his cornflakes by getting her baps out in public. Either way she's got killer abs for an abomination in the eyes of the lord.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 25 May 2021, 16:53, archived)
IT’S A GAYE ON WORDS

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 26 May 2021, 0:34, archived)
Just bought another 6 DVDs
After saying I wouldn't buy any
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:26, archived)
whoops
I'm on a self-imposed 'no vinyl purchases' ruling at the moment but still ordered one from Germany last week, I couldn't resist. I've got another one stuck in Brazil because even post from there is currently b& for covid reasons, but I paid for that ages ago so it will just be a nice bonus when it shows up
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:30, archived)
Resident evils 7-12

(dribble, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:26, archived)
No
Saving grace, annie,thor ragnarock, ant man and the wasp, black sheep and freeze frame
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:43, archived)
also a bit Four Non Blondes m8

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:28, archived)
if you say so m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:30, archived)
glad we've come to an agreement on this one

(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:34, archived)
also a bit Senser m8

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:34, archived)
I'll have to take your word for that m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 15:59, archived)
It's one of their weaker tracks, to be fair.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:29, archived)
I dun stuff today, I'm not proud

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 25 May 2021, 16:52, archived)
shame on you
I've done shit all and it's been super slow and depressing as a result, tbf
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:21, archived)
I got the train at 933, I was in the spoons at 1230, I'm stealing a living

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:30, archived)
nice work if you can get it

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:39, archived)
No good for me really, too old for it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:47, archived)
I have to say, the hours I put in working do keep me out of trouble
a bit
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Tue 25 May 2021, 17:57, archived)
Don’t think of it as stealing, think of it as an indefinite loan from someone who won’t even miss it.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 26 May 2021, 0:38, archived)
haven't heard from banned poster 'different username every day' in a while
I do hope he hasn't accidentally chopped off his own head while putting on one of his 'snapbacks' or something
(I helped save b3ta! Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 25 May 2021, 20:53, archived)

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