That was the joke, but then I remembered you can't see the thread below(, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 12:55, archived)
Oh right, I tend to forget there's a mo-free version (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 16:37,
archived)
yeah we all on ignore 2.5 nowbe the or be square
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 18:09,
archived)
Last time I visited /board while logged out I logged back in and thanked everyone who had me on ignorenot that they'd see it of course, but I made the gesture.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 17:34,
archived)
I see ninj is still implicitly claiming credit for other people's work, as he always hasand brb is being a snide cunt about it, even though he's right. A pox on all their houses.
(, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 19:03, archived)
I'm never mean to ninj, to be honest I feel out of my depth with him, I can't imagine what his motivations arebrb is the other one who has me on ignore, I think it's just those two, now that LS18 is apparently gone
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 28 Aug 2026, 0:40,
archived)
Now that song is stuck in my head.ffs
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 12:41,
archived)
Well, that's next week's image challenge sorted!b3ta.com/questions/imagechallenge/post2639942
(, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 10:26, archived)
The ones you have to explain are always the best ones.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 Aug 2026, 12:39,
archived)
Morning, no booze sold here today. Not very enlightened these Buddhist (
mongychops, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 6:36,
archived)
My wife got really cross at some Buddhists once for the same reason.I had to karma down.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 Aug 2026, 12:33,
archived)
Day off todayTaking hubby out for the day. IKEA then Aldi. He doesn’t deserve me.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 Aug 2026, 8:37,
archived)
TITSand happy birthday for Monday garold
sorry I missed it
🎊🎊🍰🍭🧁🥂
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 20:56, archived)
Awww Well. I think I missed it too.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 21:23,
archived)
Because of all the smeg on your face?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 22:47,
archived)
He's going to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.*corpses*
HEAVEN!
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 17:32, archived)
talking to yourself is the first sign of shiteness(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 18:51,
archived)
That's the second wrong 80-year-old 2026's claimed so far.(
.Yeti., Wed 26 Aug 2026, 17:54,
archived)
Who would be a 'correct' 80 year old then?Come on Yettington, put your money where your mouth is.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 19:48, archived)
I'm not going to entertain your pretending not to know the person to whom I am referring.(
.Yeti., Wed 26 Aug 2026, 19:58,
archived)
I know 4 80-year-olds who deserve to die more He's 3 of them
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 20:20,
archived)
well garold's got smeg on his face now(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 21:02,
archived)
I hear the fashionable thing these days is to call you a smeggy dildo, you smeggy dildo(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:12,
archived)
I'm lowkey smeggy(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:13,
archived)
You've clearly forgotten about Hawkeye (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:24,
archived)
Afternoon I've almost caught up with the laundry, now I just have to wrestle with silk sheets
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:14,
archived)
I had a silky sheet yesterday.Came out clean as you like.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:23,
archived)
Have you tried getting those slithery fuckers onto a bed?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:24,
archived)
I am SICK of all these MOTHERFUCKING SILK SHEETS on this MOTHERFUCKING BED(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:45, archived)
incredible trying-to-hook-up-with-people-with-fucking-crippling-attachment-issues-memoir energy
(
vladimir, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 15:01,
archived)
Fucking hell, had those once. One night.Stupid duvet just kept falling off and landing on the floor. All bastard night. Never again.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:49,
archived)
That's how I got them My friend bought them because his husband wanted them. Put them on the bed, got in, slid out the other end. I've never had a problem with them and they're black silk, so I'm definitely not complaining
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 17:31,
archived)
The bomb squad are on my street (not the hip hop producers oh hahaha)The guy at the end of the terrace put a used acetylene tank out the front for the scrapman, but scrap man can't take gas canisters for obvious reasons.
So the guy, I assume to convince the scrap guy that the tank was empty, got his torch out to cut the end off it. Minor explosion, superficial injuries.
But as there are more canisters there the fire brigade have to follow safety protocols so the bomb squad are there.
What a fucking twat.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:34, archived)
Fine thanks, how are you?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 15:29,
archived)
Everybody says that the scrap man stutters But doesn't ever stutter when he sings.
What you don't know, I'm gonna tell you right now, that the stutter and the scrap are the same thing to me, I'm the scrap man.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 17:35,
archived)
Happy International Dog Day, to all the dog owners and fingerers out there (
.Yeti., Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:51,
archived)
It's so dreamy
Oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me
No not at all
In another dimension
With voyeuristic intension
Well secluded
I'll see all
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 17:08,
archived)
Yo, my fellow homeboys and homegirls, how rolls it this fine morn?(
Octo I ruin everything., Wed 26 Aug 2026, 6:33,
archived)
Hats work best on heads, but you do you.(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:12,
archived)
Terrible bullying of Gonz, who doesn't even have an ass these days. :((
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:29,
archived)
I know pharmacists sometimes demonstrate how to use medications but I wasn't aware this extended to suppositories(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:58,
archived)
Maybe it's "cap" as in "diaphragm."You know, so as to avoid unwanted bum-babies.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:10,
archived)
That actually happened.One day I was serving a prominent SNP politician at the till in Blairgowrie, the next day I had three eastern European migrant workers brandishing a strip of foreign medication at me (which happened a lot). The younger ones spoke a bit of English, and we established that the older one (who spoke no English) was "blocked". I gave them the options of senna tablets or glycerin suppositories depending on how quickly he wanted the effect. They thanked me, went away, and then the old guy came back himself and pointed at the suppositories. I knew that he hadn't grasped which end they went in, so I gestured to demonstrate. He immediately went "no, no, no!" and pointed at the tablets.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:11, archived)
How does the SNP person fit into this anecdote, exactly? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:24,
archived)
It was just a jarring juxtaposition.Also, he can shove his party up his arse.
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:26, archived)
I laughed like a drain when it came out that Pete Murrell had nicked 400 grand and then treated his dearest Nicola to some 9ct gold jewellery. Most Scottish crime imaginable, lol.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 12:45,
archived)
"If I'm putting them up there, I'll take the smaller ones"(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 22:06,
archived)
Yo. I’m up earlier than I’d like to be.But that’s true basically anytime before 10am.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 7:42,
archived)
HelloI was hoping for more rain than this.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 8:12,
archived)
Sorry, current forecast for /talk is dry (apart from all the spazzdribble)(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:03,
archived)
I really fancy a big glass of Canada Dry right nowwith whisky in it.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 14:50,
archived)
Like a polished turd (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:59,
archived)
<s>e</s> o(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 10:59,
archived)
Well my wife got a puncture this morning, so after replacing all the tyres on my Tesla last week (which is now in the service centre for the next two months waiting for a new battery) that's the best part of a grand on fucking tyres(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:01,
archived)
Yet another reason to despise Elon Musk(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:08,
archived)
You should probably have stopped before the police deployed the stinger(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 11:13, archived)
lol, I also made it sound like I fuck tyres didn't I?I mean how big would my penus and helmit have to be right?
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:04,
archived)
we're talking girth no greater than 16mm herewww.blockleytyre.com/technical/valve-stem-diameters-and-uses
(, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:09, archived)
Interesting. I could then have reinflated it with jizz and driven to the tyre shop, saving an expensive call out.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:12,
archived)
Sounds pretty unlikely.I mean, who ever heard of a penis that thick?
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Aug 2026, 13:31,
archived)
Back in the 70s John Lydon was asked what contemporary musical figures he actually admired, and he named her(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 19:37,
archived)
iirc he said he liked that she took control of everything herself(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Aug 2026, 0:41,
archived)
Oh, sorry to break it to you this way.But yeah she dead.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 19:39,
archived)
I really lost my shit about that one didn't Ifunny how you don't know what you've got til it's gone
Somebody should make a song about that
(
vladimir, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 21:29,
archived)
Ah, fuck She did more for the poor than pretty much any other rich person
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 20:10,
archived)
Yeah, she seems to have been genuinely alright.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Aug 2026, 20:45,
archived)
Just wondering, yetters, if ableism is worse than sexism?Help a brother out.
(, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 21:19, archived)
Both are bad. But you are a smeggy dildo so what's worst?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 22:15,
archived)
What kind of a question is that, you spastic slut? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Aug 2026, 22:26,
archived)
Gonny Parton(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 21:37,
archived)
Dolly Went(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 21:37,
archived)
/links is that wayOh no wait never mind then.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:17,
archived)
They all came here, and look. So many lols. Queef, dozer, probably meatsnake. Funny shit , hahahaha. Maybe saying cuntjuice flaps Smeg catches on (
mongychops, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:20,
archived)
We have a real non-ironic laugh here, don’t we.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 19:40,
archived)
Not even one full of witty puns and lymerics about foooooood?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:18,
archived)
It's called a 'speculum'(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:25,
archived)
Hold on, did anyone ever say cockwomble? Hahaha no , wacky shit. Bolloxsmeg, lol(
mongychops, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:24,
archived)
I didn't know you spoke welsh(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:27,
archived)
No tainted smeg here, please.Only the nice pure stuff.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Aug 2026, 18:59,
archived)
Yes, it is (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 15:56,
archived)
not for me tait harshes my buzz
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 6:47,
archived)
MorningOther half scanned and checked and sent home. No idea what was causing the pain bet he’s dosed up to the eyeballs now and fast asleep.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 7:01,
archived)
Truly is there anything better than the floating sensation of coming back safe from A&E, hallucinatory with fatigue, and walking into one's home with new eyes, seeing it as the absolute impossible freedom and blessing it is
(
vladimir, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 10:43,
archived)
That bit we keep meaning to fix. That extremely irritating floor colour. Those inconveniences and limitations. How perfect they all are. How miraculous
(
vladimir, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 10:45,
archived)
Morning. I am not stranded in Bristol, and not only that but I am temporary possession of a brand new model Y.God bless Alan Mosque!
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 10:00,
archived)
The sun has come out here in Bristol. I wasn't expecting that.Is that your doing?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 11:21,
archived)
Happy birthday to meI’m in A&E,
The patients are bonkers,
And act mentally!
Other half is in awful pain and we’re worried something has gone wrong after the gall bladder removal. So far we’ve had a guy screaming and being handcuffed at the back of the waiting room. At the front there is a very lovely but disturbed chap who is coughing so loudly the whole place shakes, he’s taking his tshirt off and on and periodically goes for a hop around the place.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 20:43,
archived)
Hoppy dude or angry aggressive handcuffed man?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 21:01,
archived)
Hoppy fella is not happy(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 21:02,
archived)
Lewisham is extra special Even by London standards
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:05,
archived)
FridayThe surgery team are running tests on him. I’ve come home now he’s waiting for a CT scan.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:07,
archived)
I had a lot of pain for a few days after mine, it was due to the gas they fill you up with, hopefully it's something similar, all the best eh(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 1:03,
archived)
Happy Birthday! If he can convince them he's got peritonitis they'll probably see him sooner.Tell him to keep his abdomen absolutely rigid and say the pain is 11 out of 10 wherever they touch him.*
*may result in an unnecessary surgical procedure
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:06,
archived)
In other news my Tesla gave me a load of worrying battery warning errors on the drive home and is now refusing to charge.The Tesla app has given me an appointment at the Bristol Tesla service centre tomorrow at 9am.
It's 39 miles away and my car says it has 45 miles of range left so that should be exciting.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:10,
archived)
Can you not just take a 4-pack of AA batteries with you as backup?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:39,
archived)
Well I just hope it isn't giving you some spectacularly bad advice!(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 2:26,
archived)
Thanks And he’s been very insistent about getting seen and the nurse who saw him called the surgery team who did tue op on Friday.
Bloody stupid triage nurse at the front desk said go home and call gp. He didn’t stand for that.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:16,
archived)
Good, that is very stupid advice(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:21,
archived)
I'd advise a smeggy dildo and a bottle of rum(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 23:58,
archived)
Oh god oh god oh GOD A&E has the best storiesThey're never stories you want to know but they're incredibly compelling
(
vladimir, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 10:39,
archived)
pushing that smeggy dildo down the boardHi guy's
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 14:38,
archived)
Hello Queef.How’s your bum for spots?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 15:07,
archived)
I was just reading an article about accents in England, didn't know you discriminated against people with non-Queen's English accents
they all sound cool to us
(, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 15:21, archived)
They's reet mint (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 18:08,
archived)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again GOOCHPONG
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 16:54,
archived)
Liar!b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Goochpong
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 17:00,
archived)
Double liar!b3ta.com/search/talk?q=Guntstench
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 17:02,
archived)
When beer pong just doesn't cut it (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 18:11,
archived)
I just read the sentence, "Meg White, the legendary former drummer..." and now I'm wondering what the legend was. Is there one about a shitty drummer? (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 17:06,
archived)
Ringo The Simple and the Garden Of The Octopus(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 17:08,
archived)
Just had some devilled chicken, wasn't that spicy. Tomorrow I'll try the dolphin kottu. Fooooood, probably (
mongychops, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 17:15,
archived)
May you could have cat katsu curyyOr dog hot dog
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 18:05,
archived)
Hayden Panettiere warned people off eating dolphins because she likes them and they're full of mercury,it's comforting to know that she died in vain
(, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 18:58, archived)
Hayden Panettiere is brand of traditional Italian seasonal cake, it comes in an ornate box(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Aug 2026, 1:08,
archived)
Day one of my "holiday" in *Wales"I'm half shitfaced and fully sunburnt and now I'm getting on it
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 18:10,
archived)
My mate just called to ask how our holiday was going Because he wants us to be on the same page on the off chance that my mother calls him. He thinks it's hilarious. I'm now trying to put an IKEA clothes rack together and stop licking my tongue.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 19:10,
archived)
How the fuck does one lick one's own tongue?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 24 Aug 2026, 20:53,
archived)
I did a piss this morning that smelled just like last night's king prawn bhuna.(, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 8:47, archived)
Good thing you didn't have curried asparagus (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 9:04,
archived)
Your king prawn bhuna smelt like pissand you still ate it?
(
Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 11:23,
archived)
Had an enquiry about nystatin pessaries this morning.I found these, getting mixed messages from the name though
(, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 13:36, archived)
I fucking hate pessaries (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 19:12,
archived)
You should ask your doctor for thesestatics.docmorris.de/static/produkte/FX57OTEC/docmorris/ps420r/diclac-retardtabletten-100-st-03223189-0-1766174528852487.png
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 19:28,
archived)
Just wrapping my presents for Milad-Un-Nabi tomorrow. Then how's your luck, Wednesday is nikini full moon poya . Get in (
mongychops, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 9:16,
archived)
Today is my IRL birthdaybut it won't help you steal my identity as I've got the wrong date of birth on all of my official documents. Ha!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 10:23,
archived)
Happy birthday (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 10:40,
archived)
thank you very much(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 11:18,
archived)
Alright, Jason Bourne.I bet your real name isn't even Garold, either. Happy birthday!
(
.Yeti., Mon 24 Aug 2026, 11:34,
archived)
happy birthday garold, mine was on the eighth(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 12:59,
archived)
Many happy returns for yours(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 14:28,
archived)
Day 2. I was going go day 4. Fucking 160 dollar tho. That's rent and beers(
mongychops, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 18:42,
archived)
Surely a ball would have been better Wouldn't splatter on the wickets, either
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 17:57,
archived)
I doubt it would crack Unless it was frozen
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 18:05,
archived)
As the old saying goes, cack don't crack.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Aug 2026, 19:29,
archived)
My assumption was that "bowled shit" was like a plated meal or something. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Aug 2026, 19:35,
archived)
It's a way of life, not just a special offer(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 21:04,
archived)
www.amazon.co.uk/Cooking-Poo-Saiyuud-Diwong/dp/0977507076/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=39GZY7TR16S1O&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.bhsziDgNy3keVDT9O8mM4dN_K0bg0Y-KYyO5INivFCNOgIm8sH8VDULqP5imNg6VCgrQNzMxQSeIJdQq1JYOYZPmdq2GCJMX6ubXoVCEFfk.StNVkKoAECFA1Bk88XgNvynHbbRPxO-SgObpSDiOprs&dib_tag=se&keywords=cooking+with+poo&qid=1787516524&sprefix=cooking+with+poo%2Caps%2C205&sr=8-1
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Aug 2026, 21:22,
archived)
All you can eat buttfet (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 21:43,
archived)
Howzat!Unfortunately for the person catching it, type 5 on the Bristol Chart so quite a lot went through his fingers and now he looks like a shitty human rorschach test.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 24 Aug 2026, 12:37,
archived)
Smeggy dildoWhat have you done? You made a fool of everyone.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 13:00,
archived)
When I find myself in times of trouble, smeggy dildo comes to me(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 13:01,
archived)
Can't, flight to London is from here. Too expensive to cancel. (
mongychops, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 8:55,
archived)
how long do you have left until you fly back?(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:21,
archived)
He is, he's flying to London. Nice, cheap old London.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:19,
archived)
i wasn't talking to you, you gigantic fucksorry i meant to say: oh right i didn't know that, thanks.
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:44,
archived)
I quite like the first oneStyle, panache, rolls off the tongue
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:46,
archived)
yeah but i'm nice nowi can't be horrible
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:50,
archived)
MorningAll is well here. Enjoying a freshly baked loaf from the bread maker. Set the timer last night and got up to the lovely smell of baking.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 8:55,
archived)
I love the smell of fisting in the morning (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:15,
archived)
I used to roll out the bread machine at least once a week.Then, the teeth stripped off the drive chain linking the motor to the mixing paddle and I could not find a new one for love nor money.
(
.Yeti., Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:12,
archived)
This level of internet gold is why I get out of bed in the morning.(, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:45, archived)
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:49,
archived)
Careful now, dot Yeti dot, you're taking over the populol page(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 13:40,
archived)
Three entries at once; it's pure madness, pet.I'll be winning QOTW again next.
(
.Yeti., Sun 23 Aug 2026, 14:37,
archived)
*firm handshakes, crowd applause*(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 14:45,
archived)
panasonic are supposed to be the daddy breadmakersbut i dunno, i think everything is made in the same shed with the same shite these days
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 9:46,
archived)
honestly i think that might be a pedalo(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 12:31,
archived)
It's beyond evening It's officially morning
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 0:15,
archived)
Is it afternoon already?I better get up and do something!
(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 12:18,
archived)
You wouldn't do it in your sleep, that's for sure (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 12:26,
archived)
It's quite breathtaking (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 13:42,
archived)
The name's Balls. Shaved Balls (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 15:54,
archived)
Do you expect me to shave?No Mr Balls, I expect you to wax
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 5:10,
archived)
Scrotum of Solace (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Aug 2026, 5:08,
archived)
Elephants and monkeys causing traffic chaos on the A10 Sri Lanka. Fucking pricks (
mongychops, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 16:47,
archived)
It'll take a mammoth effort to clear that up(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 17:36,
archived)
Bloody pachys(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 17:55,
archived)
Elephants to the left of me, monkeys to the right Here I am, stuck in the middle with gnus
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 18:02,
archived)
(
.Yeti., Sat 22 Aug 2026, 18:10,
archived)
In this series, I use archival Dior hats to investigate the tension between mid-century decorum and contemporary excess.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 19:25,
archived)
Dogs with little archival Dior hats(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 21:50,
archived)
And wearing saddles, and monkeys ride them(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 22:41,
archived)
Don't worry! We're investigating the tension between mid-century decorum and contemporary excess!(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 22:42,
archived)
morning- going to the pub this afternoon. Might watch the cricket later.
alt: might bum the bowler / bot the batter / fuck the fielders / upskirt the umpire
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 6:00,
archived)
Ah, the thwack of willow on leather.Being spanked by Warwick Davis in bondage gear, I mean.
(, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 9:07, archived)
dont worry It should be safe to run it through the dishwasher.
(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 11:42,
archived)
morning Wont be going to the pub until tomorrow- Its quiz night
(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 11:39,
archived)
Sunday Quid a go. Pints sold separately.
(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 11:58,
archived)
For a bonus point, *why* is quiz night, Will?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 12:14,
archived)
Beacuse the other nights are takenThe place offers live music, open mike night, comedy night, and the ever popular drinking alone in stony silence nights
(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 12:22,
archived)
I'll accept that answer, Will. You're through to the next round, where you'll take on the Smeggy Dildos(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 12:25,
archived)
Better bone up for that one (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 12:29,
archived)
They do autopsies?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Aug 2026, 13:44,
archived)
Hi flid'sHave no fear, Queef is here.
Oxford for lunch with my father 2moz, roast Sun.
Prolly sodomise a sealion.
u
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 14:06,
archived)
Do you know what they call a round trip in Germany?Panoramafahrten. Imagine.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 14:18,
archived)
Going to work to gloat After today, I'm off till the first
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 14:53,
archived)
Can we fix it?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 17:27,
archived)
Yes we can!(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 17:27,
archived)
I saw a picture purported be John, Paul and George stretching their anuses widebut I knew it was fake because there was no Ringo
(, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 17:27, archived)
I Am The Anus (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:35,
archived)
Sgt Pepper's Massively Distended Rectum(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Aug 2026, 18:11,
archived)
Gay Dripper(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:34,
archived)
Smeggy Lane(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:48,
archived)
...said Queef, before adding "Sorry, what was the question again?"(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Aug 2026, 21:28,
archived)
We Can Wank It Out(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:36,
archived)
Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Wank Club Band(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:57,
archived)
Here comes the bum(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:23,
archived)
Magical Fistery Tour(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:25,
archived)
Bum Together(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:27,
archived)
Shitter to Ride(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:29,
archived)
Dive my Arse(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:33,
archived)
Happiness Is A Warm Bum(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:38,
archived)
Fucking A Hole(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:39,
archived)
Golden Bummers(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:40,
archived)
Bum for your life(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:42,
archived)
Everybody's Got Something Hide Except For Me And My Monkey's Bright Red Ass(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:43,
archived)
Fist and Shart(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:55,
archived)
Maxwells Silver Haemorrhoid(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 21:30,
archived)
No But everyone thinks I am. It's the only way to get a bit of peace from the mental
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 16:49,
archived)
On my way to the place I'm staying. Fucked up big cab across. I'm stopping here for a local tour dambulla cave temple
(
mongychops, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 14:56,
archived)
Got another week off work so might lick out a llama (
Cheers Cheers, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 16:49,
archived)
Had a cortisone injection in my shoulder this morning.Wasn’t too bad until now, and it just started hurting like a bastard. Going to drink until I don’t notice the pain any more.
Either that or bugger a blue-footed booby.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 21 Aug 2026, 16:57,
archived)
Oxford's great.Have lunch at The Trout and get a table overlooking the Cherwell.
(
.Yeti., Fri 21 Aug 2026, 20:39,
archived)
« Older messages | Newer messages »