Bah
I currently have an "I want to go home" feeling, even though I'm at home...how peculiar.

/hormonal teenager
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:44, archived)

How very strange.
I have a "I need a cup of tea right now feeling".
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:49, archived)

i have
a "im exceptionally happy" feeling, for no reason at all.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:50, archived)

For a small fee,
I can soon remove it for you.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:56, archived)

no,
it's okay, i'll keep it.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Wed 8 Sep 2004, 0:00, archived)

Eck
All the boards I go to (apart from this place) are full of fucking stupid idiots, absolutely dead, or a little of both. My mates are all being boring tossers and staying in. I need something to distract me from my pensive mood...
I have absolutely no idea what the point of this topic is. Someone come up with something.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:14, archived)

Giant rabid slugs
are about to break down your front door
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:15, archived)

Arrgh!
*fills water pistol with salt water*
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:17, archived)

Hedgehogs are great
But not as good as pygmy marmosets or manatees.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:15, archived)

Indeed.
Hmm...I should re-do that animation one day, that wonderful performance by Mr Horse doesn't deserve to be lumbered with my shitty early attempts at Flash.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:16, archived)

try licking your elbow
whilst slapping your forehead
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

I know someone who can lick their Elbow
Freak that they are
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

Well, I gave it a go
even though I'm fully aware that auto-lickage of the elbows is impossible.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:20, archived)

Oi
see above www.b3ta.com/talk/24572
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:22, archived)

YOU KNOW SOMEONE MAGIC!
*does happy magic dance*
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:28, archived)

Im trying to root out the movie
But might have gone in the great harddrive reformat of 2003.

DAMN YOU WINDOWS
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:32, archived)

Make an origami zoo.
Giraffes, elephants, gibbons, codfish.
All made of paper, with little googley eyes.
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

That sounds dangerously artistic for the likes of me
It's something I could always pitch to my friends, though, they're good at things like that.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:22, archived)

I'd like to do it.
I would if I had any origami skills whatsoever.
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:26, archived)

Yeah, that's a slight hindrance to the plan really.
Like I said, my friends are good at such things, I shall see what they can do.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:31, archived)

rendering is almost complete... i shall dazzle you soon with the results of the messing around i've been doing today
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:20, archived)

*dons dazzle-protection hat*
*prepares for dazzlation*
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:27, archived)

Oooh, the Lego thingy?
Excellent. I await it eagerly.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:28, archived)

Hmmm....
Stand on your head. Have a wank.

Self Bukkake.


Hurrah!!!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:21, archived)

I could just masturbate into a fan instead.
Would that be deemed acceptable?
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:24, archived)

If you are the one to clean it after use
:/
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:24, archived)

*sings*
Bukkake yourself! At home...
Bukkake yourself! One for the family
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:24, archived)

Where's Doghorse?
I see a song / anim here....
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:26, archived)

What happened to the suit of meat?
or am i just being slow
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:23, archived)

I was meant to be wearing it tonight, actually.
At a party. But I couldn't be arsed going because I wouldn't have known anyone there besides my brother and his friend (whose party it was) and I was up all night last night having a sleepover with 5 drunken girls and no other lads. I think it really says a lot about my personal appeal when I couldn't pull in said circumstances (though to be fair one of them was my ex who I have no interest in, one of them I've known since I was 5 so it would have been strange, another one is quite shy and not up for anything, I'd only met the fourth that afternoon and she's 2 years older than I, and the fifth...*pensive sigh*)
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:27, archived)

I was going to suggest bukkake
but im not too sure how that would work.
I used to have 5 Great girl mates when I was 17, Went out with 1 of them, got dumped, now only speak to one of them. (not the same one)

Girls/Women/Oldwomen are teh Evil.
If they had a female quo, there would be trouble...
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:31, archived)

Yes, I discovered the true evilness of womankind
when I was forced into watching "13 Going On 30" upon waking up this morning and not being allowed to make fun of it. It was sheer torture despite Andy Serkis and Mark Ruffalo.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:33, archived)

oh man
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Girls at uni went to see it.
I watched Big in protest. TWICE

BTW - If anyone has a spare floor piano feel free to sell it to me.

EDIT - And if anyone is tutoring for floor piano lessons i would be mucho gratefull
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:36, archived)

Franz Ferdinand
Winners of the Mercury Music Prize.


Nicely done, I say.

No doubt there'll be those that disagree.....
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:10, archived)

i'd say
they're all shit

there have been loads of great albums out this year, and none of them were nominated.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:10, archived)

I would agree with that
Erm, even though all of my 5 most recently purchased albums are from 1998 or before.
( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:11, archived)

hmm,
my 5 most recently purchased albums still havent come from amazon, the slow bastards.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:14, archived)

I am indifferent to them
which seems to be quite odd
Everyone else loves them or hates them
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:14, archived)

i dont mind
them

i liked one of their songs (but not enough to download it or remember the name), the rest i thought were shit.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:15, archived)

the one that goes "meet me at the refectory"
was stuck in my head for ages.

not saying I actually liked it - but it was very catchy.
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:25, archived)

so catchy infact
that I've remembered it wrong. It was matinee wasn't it.
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:28, archived)

that's the bunny

( coco, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:32, archived)

I quite like them.
Prefer Keane, though.


/Middle of the road.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:18, archived)

Who won the what now?
Didn't he die in 1914?
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:15, archived)

You can be such an old cunt at times.
*hands a copy of 'Look In'*

Now, read that, and don't come back until you know the lyrics to 'Green Door'
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

Does it go like this?
Mr. Wu no longer has a laundry. Sad to say the business was flop.
He shouted 'what a hope' as he chewed a bar of soap
And then put up the shutters of the shop.

Said Mr. Wu, "What shall I do?" and Mr. Wu's a window cleaner now.
The laundry, it didn't pay.
Now there's no clean collars down Limehouse Way.

When he goes out working, interest he arouses
Polishing the windows with worn-out ladies blouses.
He wears a pair of Cami nicks to save his Sunday trousers
‘Cos Mr. Wu's a window cleaner now.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:22, archived)

That'll do...
*copyrights*

*gets on the phone to Shakin' Stevens agent*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:25, archived)

Meh.
I can't bring myself to dislike them for any particular reason, but I can't say they set my world alight either.

Still, I hope they don't befall the Mercury Curse
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:18, archived)

that's what comes from naming a prize after a poison

( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:29, archived)

*hides Arsenic Trophy*

( Malchick, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:35, archived)

why am my google
gone funny - its in a weird language - i click "view in english - change settings" - and it still comes up in weird language
only happens to .co.uk though - how queer
( connor, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:03, archived)

have you tried removing all your cookies* and starting again?

* or maybe just hunt down the google cookies and kill those
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:04, archived)

I like elmer fudd
style google

Messed up many a mates PC by setting that!!!

Also changing autocomplete in word from "and" to "boobies"

yay to wrecking mates PC's
( dantl, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:18, archived)

'Ning!
I'm pissed! HURRAH!

Edit: I've also had a Rabies vaccination....ouch.
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:59, archived)

hurrah!

( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:00, archived)

Seconded!
How's the mouth foaming?!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

*Froth*
*Foam*
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:21, archived)

Hurrah!!!
*lathers up*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:24, archived)

i'm
not

HURRAH!
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:01, archived)

Good for you
But you should always think about vaccination
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:04, archived)

why?
i'm not planning on going anywhere with rabies in the near future,

and the injection is painful and has side effects, with low leves of protection.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:07, archived)

Sorry
I live near bats and foxes
rabies protection is needed

I should have out something in about spending too much time near benny
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:10, archived)

Can you ever spend too much time near me?
*Chases car*
( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

Hahahah !!!
Which one.... which one?
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:23, archived)

I'm not,
but I have had free beer tonight. HURRAH!
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:01, archived)

hurrah for rabies!

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:03, archived)

*Froths at mouth*

( Benny Tied To A Tree As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:03, archived)

hmm
seems like the sobers outnumber the drunks tonight.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:03, archived)

i'm trying man
I'm trying.
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:08, archived)

yes very

/obvious responses © 2004
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:19, archived)

Frozen sandwiches.
Now there's an idea.
Ooh! Cheese flavour ice-cream.
Cheese flavour ice-cream with frozen ham, in between two slices of cold crispy toast.
Sounds good, don't you think?
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:55, archived)

Farmfoods sell frozen sandwiches

( coco, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:56, archived)

I didn't say
it was an original idea.
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:59, archived)

and Marks and Spencer
they freeze their sandwiches for transportation

Madness. I should have known you'd be behind it.
( coco, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:02, archived)

hmm
lovely

/sarcasm.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:00, archived)

Well, I thought it was a good idea.

You fuckboweled hedgehog-tosser.
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:13, archived)

recepy jack: I cooked Mahi Mahi today
marinated in lime-juice and honey and then fried, and ate it with rice and some vegetables. it's quite nice, but I think it would have been better in a salad.

I bought a frozen fillet from my local chinese store without knowing what kind of fish it actually was. aparently the english word for "Mahi Mahi" is "dolphin fish" even though it isn't a dolphin.
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:02, archived)

What was the site..
..where you could upload pictures for free, and they stay there for a year?

Summat like image shack or something`?
(Sverre my password is "password", Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:48, archived)

www.imageshack.us
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:50, archived)

Who would want a toaster
With an anti-jam facility?

Surely it's conserveist (or something)
( LP, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:11, archived)

Perhaps
someone allergic to jam?
(Duke Flipside Bidet to you, sir, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:13, archived)

That made me giggle
like a schoolgirl.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:13, archived)

Hahahah !!!
I'd prefer one with an 'anti marmalade' function. I fucking hate the stuff.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:16, archived)

marmalade
is Gods earwax*

100% fact
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:36, archived)

i always
knew god had oranges instead of a brain.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:38, archived)

I still wouldn't want it on my toast....

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:48, archived)

That's fruit conserve racialism right there.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:17, archived)

is that like some sort of radar counter-measure ?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:27, archived)

a lean toaster?
hmm because everyone butters their bread before toasting. madness
brr it's cold in here
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:28, archived)

It's all that cold beer.
You need something warm inside you.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:30, archived)

weeeelll
I think I've got some turps brandy in the cupboard - want some - either that or sherry and/or cointreau?
/or was your purpose more sinister?
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:32, archived)

Sinister!!! Young lady, I'm hurt by your insinuation!


I'll have a large turps & bleach, thanks
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:35, archived)

my insulation
shurely

on the rocks or straight up?
/sorry - sometimes I forget that I'm not speaking to mykeyboy
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:36, archived)

Arf!
*does best Mykeyboy impression*

You can have my rocks straight upya any time you likes dahlin'....
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:46, archived)

*faints wth delight*
gah
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:48, archived)

Hurrah...
*takes advantage before anyone notices*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:49, archived)

hurrah!

( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:51, archived)

Bah.
You didn't feel a thing, did you...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:52, archived)

faking it
all the way me dearie
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:53, archived)

cointreau
and coke am teh nicest drink ever discovered
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:45, archived)

oooh
will try :D
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:48, archived)

it's like Coca-Cola Orange,
AND it gets you pissed (well, it might get you pissed, but nothing seems to get me pissed which is very irritating)
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:49, archived)

how about:
four pints of stella, one flaming sambuca, three dubious alcopops, two shots of finest twenty year old malt Islay whisky (with a straw) & one irish coffee?
(that just about sees me off*)

*may not be true
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:53, archived)

did this:
Run, whisky, cointreau, vodka in a big jug - didn't even get me tipsy, but burnt like hell
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:56, archived)

ahh
you've got some drinking legs on you ma boy!
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:57, archived)

A mean toaster, too.
"White bread? You nancy. That bread you chose is shit. You're the worst bread-chooser in the world, you cock.
And you smell of marmalade."
( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:32, archived)

hehehe

( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:34, archived)

and hammers

( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:45, archived)

This week I have mainly been having
Goats Butter on my toast. For some odd reason the name seemed to jump out at me in Tesco.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:37, archived)

does it taste
nice?
( Hidden Mouse, Sleeping Kitten Gromada? Gromada!, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:38, archived)

Like butter but with a hint of the'chalky' taste
you get from goats cheese.
And yes, it's nice - I'll be buying it again.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:39, archived)

No jam on toast?
Blasphemous.
( ArthurTheRat, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:52, archived)

Anyone from Glasgow
going to be celebratin' Talk Like A Pirate Day?
Or am I the only one?
(Duke Flipside Bidet to you, sir, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:10, archived)

yes
because they are all coming to cambridge
( Dave - KneHigHbOb talks, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:14, archived)

And Oxford.
*points at profile for details*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:16, archived)

Oh, okay
I'd ask if I could come too, except that it'd inconvenience a young lady I'd rather not, if you get my meaning.
(Duke Flipside Bidet to you, sir, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:22, archived)

*doesn't get*
EXPLAIN!
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:35, archived)

Damn!
I nearly missed it this year.

Shazam for teh Midlands pirates.




/no sea or oceans here.
(sheppos, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:53, archived)

In a word
YARRRRRRRRR
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:35, archived)

i finished the (virtual) lego model i was making.
now i gotta wait while it renders... been 20 minutes already, and it's not even 1/4 done :(
isketch in the meantime ?
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:06, archived)

set it up

( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:07, archived)

done

( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:08, archived)

link?
i'm feeling particularily lazy tonight :P
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:08, archived)

pffft
www.isketch.net
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:09, archived)

room
?
Edit: duh me
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:12, archived)

im n00by mcn00b to isketch
what room?
(Heffer foiled, once again, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:17, archived)

jee-hee-sus Christ
anyone else watching the grid?

is it JUST me, or is this just one 1.30 hour long propaganda programme, or what?

bollocks to hell. it's fucking shit

shit shit shit.
(Heffer foiled, once again, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

tut
b3ta.com/board ;)
( connor, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:00, archived)

oh wow!
didnt know that existed!

bye!

fnar fnar fnar.
(Heffer foiled, once again, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:02, archived)

What's the grid about?

( magnum, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:02, archived)

'terrorists'
or, in their eyes: 'non-whites'
(Heffer foiled, once again, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:03, archived)

They are the worst sort
of terrorist.

/forgets about the IRA for the sake of argument.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:06, archived)

WTF
is the grid?
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:03, archived)

check bbc1

(Heffer foiled, once again, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:03, archived)

s'OK
I got enuff of a clue from your answer up there.

Never mind that shit. Soap is coming to Paramount Comedy Channel*

*May be old news to some.
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 22:06, archived)

Quote
"one of the major events of open-day will be the chance for the boys to show of their first major erection."

Channel 4's that'll teach 'em
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:32, archived)

My brain must die.
*pours bleach into ear*
(1, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:33, archived)

ahahahahaha!
maypole genius
( anythingbutthisactually, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:33, archived)

blimeh, mindshit 'r' us
have a definition
(not_real had his name thieved, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:34, archived)

put your mind
at rest, they were talking about a bench seat of bricks. Although the image of some 16 year olds showing their parents their boners is far more entertaining.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:37, archived)

*pours paint stripper into other ear*
(1, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:38, archived)

cheaper than
syringing.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:44, archived)

A real life baby!
By god, I never knew they existed.
( Smokey Bacon Crisps smell good, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:35, archived)

My Mum once asked the company
she bought her Garden Shed from if they offered 'an Erection Service'.

We've now got her in a home awaiting voluntary euthanasia. It's the only humane thing to do.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:38, archived)

hehe
the use of the words erection, and ejaculation should be in more common useage purely for comedic purposes.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:40, archived)

My point precisely.
It's a lesson she will carry to the grave.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:41, archived)

Does anyone remember Robs
post about Google the other day?
Well I took it and ran: i.1asphost.com/whaletech/search.html
EDIT: Soon to be www.spewgle.tk
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:25, archived)

that may
well be the most vile thing i've ever seen

well done.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:27, archived)

It took longer than it should have.
But it really works!
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:28, archived)

yeah
i didnt realise you have to remove the type bit at first :)
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:28, archived)

Hehe
I should really change that to "Type here", but I'm lazy.
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:29, archived)

i was just looking for a pitbull image
wtf?


oh apparently image searches for pitbulls are NSFW
(Alicat, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:18, archived)

YAY!
Nsfw.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:21, archived)

how did that happen?
porn.it always finds you....
(Alicat, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:23, archived)

i'm just
a gay porn magnet!
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:26, archived)

I've just realised
Spewgle has no "auto-fill" and therefore no embaressing reminders...
Happy searching!
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:29, archived)

hehe
i have that turned off anyway just in case anyone wanted to see what i'd been searching for.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:31, archived)

It's your destiny
No point trying to hide from it.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:26, archived)

you are so right
www.allali.com?
(Alicat, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:46, archived)

Hmmmm,
link doesn't seem to work, but I suspect it's probably not something my mother would approve of...

But you're right, with a name like yours, you're asking for trouble.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:59, archived)

That's nearly fantastic!
But get rid of "type" - it's not obvious you have to delete it first, so I ended up with a search for "typecheese", which was annoying.

Do that, and I shall sneak in to the office early and replace everyone's Google bookmarks at work with that.

*applauds*
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:28, archived)

glad
it wasnt just me then.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:29, archived)

Better?

( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:32, archived)

fantastic
can you make it so you can press enter to search too?
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:33, archived)

I'll try...
But I'm not sure how I'd do it. Any suggestions?
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:34, archived)

sorry
havent got a clue about anything more complex than a flash movie.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:35, archived)

Ah well,
bookmark it. Then I'll let you know when I update it.
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:36, archived)

Hahahah !!!
That's errr vomit inducing, but very well done.

*types in Goatse*

*vomits*

I feel my point is made...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:30, archived)

I think the lesson is to never,
EVER, type the G word into any text box. EVER!
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:34, archived)

It's a fair point.
I'm old enough to better...

*types in 'Tubgirl'*

*vomits*

Gah...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:36, archived)

Well that was silly wasn't it!
Daft twat!
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:52, archived)

yay!!!
now register www.spewgle.com and i'll use it all the time :)
( Delete Me, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:36, archived)

www.spewgle.tk?
I just registered it, it'll take a while before it works.
www.spewgle.tk is now live!
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:40, archived)

wahey!
:D
( Delete Me, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:47, archived)

That's horrible
Shazzam!
( Deebster, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:56, archived)

Oh...
Sorry mate.
( Whippersnapper, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:03, archived)

argh! it works!
*cancels search for 'Minge'*
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 23:00, archived)

Is anybody there?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:02, archived)

Yes.
But now I'm going to the pub.

Ta-ra!
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:04, archived)

Bastard.
I want to go to the pub, but have work to do...
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:06, archived)

You don't need to work at being a Cunt.

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:12, archived)

You do.
You're still way too soft and fluffy.
I'd give you a B-
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:19, archived)

Bah,
I'm working on it - I swore at a Vicar the other day.

Although he was on the telly, so I suppose that doesn't count.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:23, archived)

If they can't hear you then
It does not count
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:25, archived)

Nope,
you've lost me now...


*wanders off to fridge for more Kronenbourg*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:28, archived)

That wasn't a vicar, it was a cup of coffee.
And it wasn't on telly, it was in the microwave.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:25, archived)

Does that make a difference, then?

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:27, archived)

I have an entire content focussed website to write by Monday.
I've had 3 months to do it, and I started on sunday night.

I'm still going to the pub.

RIGHT NOW.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:13, archived)

You am haaaaaaaaaaaaaardcore! (Or possibly speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedcore - I always get them confused)
I may just go to the pub too. Ten days left for me... Not a complex technology thing, neither.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:18, archived)

Five pounds might jog my memory

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:05, archived)

*pounds benny*

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:14, archived)

You could've at least let me lubed up first.

Still, not much longer until Bumrape Friday.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:15, archived)

By way of bisexual thursday?
or is that bumsexual?
( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:26, archived)

I'd prefer to see the introduction
of Lessexual Thursdays.
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:28, archived)

Very few girls post regularly enough for it to work

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:31, archived)

We could always bus some in.

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:32, archived)

Ach go google some porn

( Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:35, archived)

Bah...
*curses work network connection*

*Puts on Channel 5 instead*
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:38, archived)

Hahahahaha!
*points at the loser who's still at work*
*runs around like a spacktard*
*starts hitting things*
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:41, archived)

Calm down dear....
I work from home, hence the network connection.

Now, come here and take your Rittalin like a good girl...
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:47, archived)

"work from home" eh?
Do you, perchance, have to go to the high street once a fortnight to cash your giro "pay cheque" at the Post Office? To get your giro "pay cheque" do you have to queue up with scores of other unwashed scumbags "fellow employees" until one of the Jobcentre employees "HR department" finds your details and makes sure you aren't committing benefit fraud are being paid enough for all your hard work?
( TV's Nosemonkey, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:57, archived)

Pfffft..!
No!!! Hurrah!! (although I am now tempted - you make it sound so nice!)

Although as penenance, they do make me drive a BMW.

/bears cross without complaint
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 21:01, archived)

i am here
i'm always here. not that anyone eve pays me a blind bit of notice. a brain the size of a planet...


/marvin
( The Incredible... accident free since, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:06, archived)

did
someone say something?
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:09, archived)

anyone know of
websites where you can post your arty photographs - other than deviantart?
( applehead herp derp, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:18, archived)

www.b3ta.com
(Marwood, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:19, archived)

oh well
if you insist...
( applehead herp derp, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:28, archived)

they are
lovely.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:36, archived)

forgive me for asking
but was there any sarcasm in there?
( applehead herp derp, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:03, archived)

no, i
really enjoyed looking at them.

(that sounds sarcastic, but it isnt meant to be)
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:18, archived)

hehe
the trouble is you can read sarcasm into most replies. sorry!

thanks for commenting on them :)
( applehead herp derp, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:26, archived)

www.deviantart.com/

And scroll down to the bit that says Partners =)
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:21, archived)

hmm
my best mate has a site for arty photos.

www.theforgottenpages.tk

you cant post your own though (yet).

edit: and it's still under construction

/spam
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:21, archived)

www.magnumkp.com/photos.html

Oh no, they are mine. Silly me.
( magnum, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:17, archived)

they're nice too.

( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:20, archived)

Work!
It's all poooooooooooooooooooork!
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:20, archived)

School!
it's fucking shiiiiiiitake mushrooms!
(not_real had his name thieved, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:22, archived)

I agree
:(
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:24, archived)

2nded

(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:28, archived)

I don't remember

( Hankster, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:34, archived)

We have the best geography teacher ever.
But apart from that, i agree.
( rabid peanut - s'fucking right, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:34, archived)

our geography teacher used to say
"studying geography A-level is the 1st prize in the lottery of life"

he was a twunt.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:42, archived)

whats the thunderball?
trigonometry?
(not_real had his name thieved, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:43, archived)

How old are you?
/curious.
(Rhythm pants, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:34, archived)

she told me she was sixteen!
honest!
(not_real had his name thieved, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:36, archived)

in retrospect
school was quite good.

but when i was there it was shitty.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:36, archived)

scho....
what?
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:57, archived)

Isn't it just.
Especially when you ignore a deadline for nearly 3 months, and then it LOOMS.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:23, archived)

I don't have deadlines,
I just have to serve the same people the same pints, night after night after night.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:25, archived)

I love barmaids
*hugs*
( Hankster, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:34, archived)

Are you spying on me?
Deadline=Monday
Realistic Finishing Time=October*

*may not be realistic
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:35, archived)

Except for the bits that are SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:24, archived)

Yes
Some bits are craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap also.
( Miss Behave - Delicate little flower, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:26, archived)

Yes.
Yes it is.
( valley, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:26, archived)

Although
actually I've had nine months off this last year, three months just now, half an hour yet to go...
( valley, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:28, archived)

'noon cunts
My first day of sixth form was somewhat shite. Although I did make a program in computing. It was a shit program, but it's one step closer* to me making my insult program for you all to enjoy.

And I don't have to go in till half eleven tomorrow. Joy!

*the first step, on a path that is many bajillion steps long

Edit: and on a side note, did I just hear an advert mention a man who lived in a sphincter?
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:59, archived)

6th form
has to be better than proper school. no? Two years of pissing around for me.

edit: i think the advert is a man lived in a slipper.
( asparagus time Is in Brazil., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:01, archived)

I prefer "sphincter*
it's a far better advertisement.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:16, archived)

*pictures goatse estate angents ltd*
*shudders*
(not_real had his name thieved, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:21, archived)

I didn't do sixth form,
but the college experience is much the same, I believe. That rocked.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:02, archived)

I would have also started Sixth form today
But the "Senior Management TEam decided that they don't want us there til friday for some reason...
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:02, archived)

insult programmes?
*ahem*
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:07, archived)

That is merely a website
I plan to create a program that interactively insults you. And continues to do so while you try and defend yourself. Like a tourettes talkbot.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:09, archived)

haha
yes, that'd be far better than my silly attempt.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:10, archived)

how does your
one come up with the same result each time? Are they stored in a database once created?
( anythingbutthisactually, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:17, archived)

Probably based on some wacky formula doohicky
that takes first and last letters or length of name etc etc and correlates the results to a table - so same insult for the same name
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:38, archived)

take the md5 of the input name, then choose the insult parts according to characters 3, 6 and 12.
in hex, that gives 16*16*16 combinations. (=4096).
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 19:43, archived)

heh
well at least you enjoyed it.... *curses tomorrow's return to hell*
(Dinsdale v Spiny Norman, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:08, archived)

I think..
that the latte I just made contains bad milk. Not really bad, just a hint, because there are spots of white in the foam.. But I'm drinking it anyway! How do you like that, milk? Huh? I won!
(Sverre my password is "password", Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:45, archived)

your milk might take its revenge later

( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:46, archived)

..
Prollaby. I'm glad that teh fridge isn't in my bedroom..
(Sverre my password is "password", Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:50, archived)

If the latte is rejecting the milk
then maybe you should too.

Smallprint

Before your body also rejects the mile.
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 20:01, archived)

has anyone here got doom 3 installed on thier comp?
I am running a little 10 gig hard drive until i can afford a bigger one and have only 2.67gig of space left, will this be enough as im recieving a copy tommorow and fear i wont be able to install it.
I have another 60gig hd attached as well that wont take a os due to it being a bit fucked but i cant install it onto there or can i?
any help would be appreciated
thanks
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:30, archived)

I think the box said it wanted somewhat more than that.
edit: www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/videogames/B000067NYP/system-requirements/ref=ed_tec_dp/026-3848605-3807655
oooh.. maybe. just.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:31, archived)

You can take a custom install option I think
and trim some of the bells and whistles.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:32, archived)

that's less that I thought it was actually,
I remember looking at the box and feeling slightly sick.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:34, archived)

holy gaboly...
that game would eat my computer alive
(not_real had his name thieved, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 18:41, archived)

That should be enough.
What's the spec on the rest of your machine though?
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:31, archived)

my graphics card is small but it reasonably new
512mb ram
2.6ghz pentium 4
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:34, archived)

Should be fine then.
Prepare to shit yourself.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:37, archived)

*buys andrex*
is it as good as the hype suggests?
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:39, archived)

I'll say 'no',
then if it is, you'll be very happy indeed.
( Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:42, archived)

i like this line of thinking!

( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:47, archived)

Gameplay wise it's a pretty good first person shooter.
Some of the weapons are a bit gay for my taste, and it's quite repetitive, but it plays well enough.

Almosphere wise it's unsurpassed. I've never really been unsettled by a game before (possible exception of Silent Hill about 7 years ago or whenever it was), but I got the fear a couple of times playing Doom 3.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:42, archived)

i dont usually bother with games to be honest
but i got caught up in all the hype, i havent heard much bad about it so will look forward to giving it a shot.
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:45, archived)

you should be able to install to the 60gb no problem. read the installation programme steps carfully, it will (should) ask you where to install.
( sex and dougs and rock n roll, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:33, archived)

doesn't sound great
I think Doom 3 wants quite a nippy PC - surely a machine with such a small drive is a bit old?
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:33, archived)

no my machine is quite swanky
apart from the hd going kapput, the 10 gig is just a temp measure
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:35, archived)

*sticks fingers in ears*
la la la - I'm not listening - your computer is a gay
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:39, archived)

Actually,
why not just hook up the 60GB drive as a slave, and use it for data storage? That's pretty much a standard setup, and it wouldn't need an OS on it.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:33, archived)

i will look into this
cheers
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:35, archived)

If you're on a recent OS
all you have to do is plug the loose IDE cable from your 10GB drive into the 60GB drive, make sure the pin selection is set to slave, and you're rocking. Windows will autodetect the new drive, and probably label it appropiately. You may want to format it once it's in. Won't take long.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:38, archived)

formatting could be a problem, i have about 6 gig of pics and photos
and about 25 gig of music on there i dont want to loose and am too skint to back it all up at the minute, i will bookmark this thread though and try tomorrow.
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:41, archived)

Oh, formatting's by no means essential,
just thought it might be tidier that way.

It's a 2 minute job in that case.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:44, archived)

you again sir
have surpassed yourself, cheers
( harpski, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:46, archived)

I just bought some bananas and stawberries
and shoved them in the blender with some ice.

Lovely.
( rob, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:29, archived)

I hope your blender appreciates it.

( Comma, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:29, archived)

Also good
with margherita mix and ALL the tequila.

Oh, and crushed ice.
( supermoore: HUNG, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 17:31, archived)