NEWSLETTER TIEBREAKER COMPO: Win a Sqweel 2This is one of the odder promos that's come up for B3ta. Normally it's T-shirts but we thought the er... curious nature of this product might amuse.
Lovehoney are a site that sells adult toys. They've just launched The Squeel 2 - which is a basically a wheel that's covered in 10 or so rubber tongues.
Anyway. We have 3 to give away. Complete the tiebreaker, 'I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...'
Or read about the Sqweel 2 on the Lovehoney site. (Page it links to is sort of safe for work, if rubber tongues are safe for work, there's no nudey stuff anyway)
(Lovehoney are a site that sells adult toys. They've just launched The Squeel 2 - which is a basically a wheel that's covered in 10 or so rubber tongues.
Anyway. We have 3 to give away. Complete the tiebreaker, 'I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...'
Or read about the Sqweel 2 on the Lovehoney site. (Page it links to is sort of safe for work, if rubber tongues are safe for work, there's no nudey stuff anyway)
rob,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:43,
archived)
is this for cleaning one's cat?
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:45,
archived)
what a bugger to keep clean if it is PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:46,
archived)
I'd like to sellotape it to David Cameron's face to slap him for eternityor if it's not powerful enough, strap it to my cat for automated stroking
(
HappyToast Groat froth,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:48,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."...keep the windows clean on The Variety Club Sunshine Bus.
(
Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:49,
archived)
I hope so!Would this be the wrong place to admit I've got an account at Lovehoney?
( Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:26,
archived)
I'd like to use my Squeel 2, to lick off all that stuck on poo.(so many fun rhymes going through my head right now)
( Chorizowagon Came wandering back on,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:49,
archived)
to clean between my toes without melting my own tongue off in the process
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:50,
archived)
I'd like to use a Sqweel 2 too.Unfortunately, as a single male I fear I lack the prerequisite anatomical parts.
(
Mu Dinofiddler,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:51,
archived)
power my model steamboat.
(
Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:51,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to constantly remind me of my childhood home
mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:52,
archived)
lick the dog's bollocks while he's licking mine
Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:52,
archived)
'Reacharound II -- wagging the dog' PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:55,
archived)
.. complete the job that Sqweel 1 could not finish due to battery issues. xandmi,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:53,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."... to anally 'invade' my pet hamster
( Ninj,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:53,
archived)
I don't want to run the risk of winning one and then having to explain the resultant eBay listing to any friends that spot it, sorry
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:53,
archived)
Condition: AcceptableThe item may have signs of wear and surface damage, but is still in working condition.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:09,
archived)
From a smoke-free home......although, for some reason, has a faint odour of kippers.
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:57,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to fan a haddock Wildyles is back to rimming chimps,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:00,
archived)
GEOFF MAN AYUM BLIND AYE CANNA SEE!sorry thought it was the newsletter
/ac
(/ac
prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:03,
archived)
Was this after getting Noddy's tongue in his eye in the cinema?
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:18,
archived)
also, to untangle those knotty arse-hairs Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:04,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to.. Sell on at a tidy profit!
( DanGleeballs Moist people don't notice spelling errors...,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:04,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to teach the world to sing (in perfect AHmoney).Failing that i'll just stick it up my arse.
( Victor Meldrew,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:05,
archived)
'd like to use a Squeel 2 to entertain my mumwhilst I'm blowing dad off
(
claptonista ,the idiot boy..........,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:06,
archived)
I would use this device to give little legless ducks the power to swim again
(
prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:06,
archived)
I know..bad pr don't listen to the lies
(
prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:12,
archived)
give my tongue a breakor to assist me to seal the envalopes for my extensive Christmas Card list.
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:13,
archived)
it's like an erotic hurdles event!/ac
(
Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:16,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to smear peanut butter onto every fin and then stick a jellybean onto each one of them and then go into the local supermarket and announce on the speaker system that CHRISTMAS HAS COME EARLY, MUHAHAHAHA mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:19,
archived)
*clicks "i like this" until the button breaks* Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:21,
archived)
I don't want one.But I think they should be distributed to leading bank execs so their arses can experience that David-Cameron-fresh feeling every morning.
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:21,
archived)
fool Megabus passengers into thinking I was a pervert terrorist Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:26,
archived)
you mean you're not?you disappoint me
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:27,
archived)
call me when your journey to perversion is complete Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:32,
archived)
He will join us - or die. joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:35,
archived)
if i get the chance, it'll probably be both Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:38,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to save me the bother of having to lick my wife's fanny
(
mictoboy shitting in your cunt since,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:37,
archived)
hahaha...I'm giggling like a little boy!
( DanGleeballs Moist people don't notice spelling errors...,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:17,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to make a little model erotic paddlesteamerand take it down to the boating lake.
...and that, kids, is how I met your mother.
(...and that, kids, is how I met your mother.
Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:44,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to fashion a moving mohican haircut for my robot
(
mictoboy shitting in your cunt since,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:56,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to whip' my wife's 'cream' *waggles eyebrows*
(
mictoboy shitting in your cunt since,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:58,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...spread jam all over a nice Victoria Sponge
(
SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it...,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:02,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to make a minature waterwheel on the most perverted train set in Britain
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega..,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:03,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."hypnotise an ocelot.
(
wheelybird mreee!,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:06,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...put against my pouting lips so I make a noise that sounds like "wurblybuuurrblywurblebrurbblly"
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it...,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:29,
archived)
I would use a squeel 2...... well, I have this saucer of milk I need to empty quickly.
(
0nyx,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:44,
archived)
Get lucrative contracts from direct mailing businessesin countries where you still have to lick the stamp.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:54,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to make my pussy purr said mrs slow cum...
pull off some mad licks Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:11,
archived)
Proper Dick Dale style!I thought that too, might actually work
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it...,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:02,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...stick notices up at work using my man glue."
(
Yoofaloof 'I like it here, wherever it is...',
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:18,
archived)
make a 'coptermouse to keep my 'coptercat entertained Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:21,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."Complete the 1800's era replica of a Steam Riverboat made completely out of wank aids.
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:17,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."pitch to Apple as an innovotive CPU cooling fan. Not only does it fit in with the aesthetic stylings of their products, it also carries on their company ethos of bringing pleasure to cunts.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:33,
archived)
A word of caution......I seem to recall an eye-watering story about someone who got their dangling 'lady parts' trapped in a device like that.
Best reserve it for sticking that huge mound of trading stamps, that you found at the back of your late Gran's cupboard, into their books - before throwing the whole kit and caboodle in the bin on the grounds that they're a shile o' pite!
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:35,
archived)
Best reserve it for sticking that huge mound of trading stamps, that you found at the back of your late Gran's cupboard, into their books - before throwing the whole kit and caboodle in the bin on the grounds that they're a shile o' pite!
Alternativly...to rapidly add sugar to a whole tray of tea at the canteen I work in.
I'd probably give it a rinse first though.
Yours,
Mrs. B Trellis.
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:39,
archived)
I'd probably give it a rinse first though.
Yours,
Mrs. B Trellis.
id like to use the sqweel 2 to...Give my dog and nutsack a break. Im sure he's allergic to peanut butter anyways.
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:58,
archived)
Make that bibbldey-bibbledey noise with my mouth without having to wibble the lower lip with my finger
(
lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 17:30,
archived)
I want to pit Sqweel 2's against each other.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 17:36,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...make a tiny water wheel to power my other sex toys
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 17:51,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 toTattoo a tango under my tutu, ta!
(
simbosan Hello you cunt,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:04,
archived)
I'd like to use a Skweel 2 toWear down that everlasting gobstopper that's been in my house since 1984
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it...,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:10,
archived)
![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Naughty Shop Challenge"){kind=small}
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."lick my eyebrows. My inability to do so being the reason she's leaving.
(
unclepills,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:17,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to save me the bother of having to lick mictoboy's wife's fanny
I'd like to use a sqweel2 to...Moisten the stamps in the local Post Office.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample.,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:34,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."take over when the painters are in
( Araucaria is such a tit,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 19:24,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."...beat my cat in a milk drinking race.
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 20:29,
archived)
I'd use the Squeal 2 to:replace the dead gerbil up my arse.
( hismastersvice cunting flange-jammer,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:20,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...... set up an automatic envelope-sealing machine and become a billionaire
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:21,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...add to the collection in my red room
(
Plomien is Polish for flame,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:30,
archived)
I'd like to use sqweel 2 to ..to to toe too toooh oh oooe oh eugh
(,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:40,
archived)
I'd like a Sqwwel 2 tofrig my missus silly.
I don't know if I'm getting this right
(I don't know if I'm getting this right
monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 22:29,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."lick the stamps for my spam mailing of Squeel 2 advertising leaflets...
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>,
Fri 6 Jul 2012, 22:34,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...terrorize my cat*. And put videos of it up the webternets.
*Not a euphemism for ladybits, a euphemism for "small furry animal with many sharp things sticking out at the long bits."
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 0:49,
archived)
*Not a euphemism for ladybits, a euphemism for "small furry animal with many sharp things sticking out at the long bits."
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."I'd attach a playing card to it like I used to do with my bike and walk around town making a motor sound. Ahhh childhood :D
( kitty minion Babies ate my dingo!,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 0:49,
archived)
id like a squeal 2 becauseMy husband tragically lost his tongue as a child in a horrific kenwood -chef mixer accident . With one of these he can lick envlopes and stamps to post letters again, lick his thumb to turn pages and go to town on my lady garden like a good un
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 1:06,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to......help me pronounce Welsh place names.
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 1:55,
archived)
. . . hit F5 while veiwing b3ta,and then to freak the hell out of my love's daughters when they spot it in the computer station.
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 3:06,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."put in front of my mouth so I can make make peculiar noises to amuse strangers babies on public transport.
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 10:37,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."help me get through the 200 Chupa Chups I recently won on Facebook.
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 10:38,
archived)
I'd like to use the Sqweel 2 to..Perform experiments on Ice lollies and ice creams.
These experiments would include:
average amount of licks required to finish 1) a Twister, 2) a magnum, 3) Cornetto, 4) Calipo.
The control will be me eating a Mr Whippy because it's warm outside and I like them.
Other experiments may include:
removing the chug nuts from the horrible looking bum of my old aged cat.
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 10:54,
archived)
These experiments would include:
average amount of licks required to finish 1) a Twister, 2) a magnum, 3) Cornetto, 4) Calipo.
The control will be me eating a Mr Whippy because it's warm outside and I like them.
Other experiments may include:
removing the chug nuts from the horrible looking bum of my old aged cat.
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...... go boldly where my rather small tongue has been unable to go before.
(,
Sat 7 Jul 2012, 17:20,
archived)
I'd like to use a Sqweel 2 to...fuck with my dyslexic friends while playing Scrabble.
(,
Sun 8 Jul 2012, 0:13,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."Apprehend perpverts. No really. And that one is a truncheon because i'm police innit.
(,
Sun 8 Jul 2012, 8:44,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..."Find out how many b3tards want a sex toy by holding a contest to win one.
(,
Mon 9 Jul 2012, 23:33,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2to avoid having to read 40 Shades of Grey
(,
Tue 10 Jul 2012, 3:09,
archived)
"I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to..arm my Latherator on RobotWars"
(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations,
Tue 10 Jul 2012, 17:00,
archived)
I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to... ... pass the time till the release of its sequel, “Squeel '3D'”, when surely everybody will want to have one, and I can be a cunt about being a long time supporter and about the original quality being far superior to the new design.
( BringYourOwnParachute Meet me here on,
Tue 10 Jul 2012, 19:01,
archived)