
This is one of the odder promos that's come up for B3ta. Normally it's T-shirts but we thought the er... curious nature of this product might amuse.
Lovehoney are a site that sells adult toys. They've just launched The Squeel 2 - which is a basically a wheel that's covered in 10 or so rubber tongues.

Anyway. We have 3 to give away. Complete the tiebreaker, 'I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...'
Or read about the Sqweel 2 on the Lovehoney site. (Page it links to is sort of safe for work, if rubber tongues are safe for work, there's no nudey stuff anyway)
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:43,
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Lovehoney are a site that sells adult toys. They've just launched The Squeel 2 - which is a basically a wheel that's covered in 10 or so rubber tongues.

Anyway. We have 3 to give away. Complete the tiebreaker, 'I'd like to use a Squeel 2 to...'
Or read about the Sqweel 2 on the Lovehoney site. (Page it links to is sort of safe for work, if rubber tongues are safe for work, there's no nudey stuff anyway)

or if it's not powerful enough, strap it to my cat for automated stroking
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:48,
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...keep the windows clean on The Variety Club Sunshine Bus.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:49,
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Would this be the wrong place to admit I've got an account at Lovehoney?
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:26,
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(so many fun rhymes going through my head right now)
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:49,
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Unfortunately, as a single male I fear I lack the prerequisite anatomical parts.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:51,
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... to anally 'invade' my pet hamster
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:53,
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:53,
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The item may have signs of wear and surface damage, but is still in working condition.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:09,
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...although, for some reason, has a faint odour of kippers.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:57,
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sorry thought it was the newsletter
/ac
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:03,
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/ac

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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:18,
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Failing that i'll just stick it up my arse.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:05,
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whilst I'm blowing dad off
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:06,
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:06,
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or to assist me to seal the envalopes for my extensive Christmas Card list.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:13,
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But I think they should be distributed to leading bank execs so their arses can experience that David-Cameron-fresh feeling every morning.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:21,
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:37,
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and take it down to the boating lake.
...and that, kids, is how I met your mother.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:44,
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...and that, kids, is how I met your mother.

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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:56,
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:58,
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spread jam all over a nice Victoria Sponge
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:02,
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to make a minature waterwheel on the most perverted train set in Britain
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 13:03,
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put against my pouting lips so I make a noise that sounds like "wurblybuuurrblywurblebrurbblly"
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:29,
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... well, I have this saucer of milk I need to empty quickly.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:44,
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in countries where you still have to lick the stamp.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 14:54,
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I thought that too, might actually work
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:02,
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stick notices up at work using my man glue."
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 15:18,
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Complete the 1800's era replica of a Steam Riverboat made completely out of wank aids.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:17,
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pitch to Apple as an innovotive CPU cooling fan. Not only does it fit in with the aesthetic stylings of their products, it also carries on their company ethos of bringing pleasure to cunts.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:33,
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...I seem to recall an eye-watering story about someone who got their dangling 'lady parts' trapped in a device like that.
Best reserve it for sticking that huge mound of trading stamps, that you found at the back of your late Gran's cupboard, into their books - before throwing the whole kit and caboodle in the bin on the grounds that they're a shile o' pite!
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:35,
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Best reserve it for sticking that huge mound of trading stamps, that you found at the back of your late Gran's cupboard, into their books - before throwing the whole kit and caboodle in the bin on the grounds that they're a shile o' pite!

to rapidly add sugar to a whole tray of tea at the canteen I work in.
I'd probably give it a rinse first though.
Yours,
Mrs. B Trellis.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:39,
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I'd probably give it a rinse first though.
Yours,
Mrs. B Trellis.

Give my dog and nutsack a break. Im sure he's allergic to peanut butter anyways.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 16:58,
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 17:30,
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make a tiny water wheel to power my other sex toys
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 17:51,
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Tattoo a tango under my tutu, ta!
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:04,
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Wear down that everlasting gobstopper that's been in my house since 1984
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:10,
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![Challenge Entry: Naughty Shop Challenge [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)
lick my eyebrows. My inability to do so being the reason she's leaving.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:17,
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Moisten the stamps in the local Post Office.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 18:34,
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take over when the painters are in
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 19:24,
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...beat my cat in a milk drinking race.
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 20:29,
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... set up an automatic envelope-sealing machine and become a billionaire
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:21,
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add to the collection in my red room
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:30,
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to to toe too toooh oh oooe oh eugh
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 21:40,
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frig my missus silly.
I don't know if I'm getting this right
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 22:29,
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I don't know if I'm getting this right

lick the stamps for my spam mailing of Squeel 2 advertising leaflets...
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Fri 6 Jul 2012, 22:34,
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terrorize my cat*. And put videos of it up the webternets.
*Not a euphemism for ladybits, a euphemism for "small furry animal with many sharp things sticking out at the long bits."
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 0:49,
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*Not a euphemism for ladybits, a euphemism for "small furry animal with many sharp things sticking out at the long bits."

I'd attach a playing card to it like I used to do with my bike and walk around town making a motor sound. Ahhh childhood :D
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 0:49,
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My husband tragically lost his tongue as a child in a horrific kenwood -chef mixer accident . With one of these he can lick envlopes and stamps to post letters again, lick his thumb to turn pages and go to town on my lady garden like a good un
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 1:06,
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...help me pronounce Welsh place names.
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 1:55,
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and then to freak the hell out of my love's daughters when they spot it in the computer station.
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 3:06,
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put in front of my mouth so I can make make peculiar noises to amuse strangers babies on public transport.
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 10:37,
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help me get through the 200 Chupa Chups I recently won on Facebook.
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 10:38,
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Perform experiments on Ice lollies and ice creams.
These experiments would include:
average amount of licks required to finish 1) a Twister, 2) a magnum, 3) Cornetto, 4) Calipo.
The control will be me eating a Mr Whippy because it's warm outside and I like them.
Other experiments may include:
removing the chug nuts from the horrible looking bum of my old aged cat.
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 10:54,
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These experiments would include:
average amount of licks required to finish 1) a Twister, 2) a magnum, 3) Cornetto, 4) Calipo.
The control will be me eating a Mr Whippy because it's warm outside and I like them.
Other experiments may include:
removing the chug nuts from the horrible looking bum of my old aged cat.

... go boldly where my rather small tongue has been unable to go before.
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Sat 7 Jul 2012, 17:20,
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fuck with my dyslexic friends while playing Scrabble.
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Sun 8 Jul 2012, 0:13,
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Apprehend perpverts. No really. And that one is a truncheon because i'm police innit.
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Sun 8 Jul 2012, 8:44,
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Find out how many b3tards want a sex toy by holding a contest to win one.
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Mon 9 Jul 2012, 23:33,
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to avoid having to read 40 Shades of Grey
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Tue 10 Jul 2012, 3:09,
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arm my Latherator on RobotWars"
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Tue 10 Jul 2012, 17:00,
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... pass the time till the release of its sequel, “Squeel '3D'”, when surely everybody will want to have one, and I can be a cunt about being a long time supporter and about the original quality being far superior to the new design.
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Tue 10 Jul 2012, 19:01,
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