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# newsletter subjectline compo
write on your keyboard
to stop the me bored
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:49, archived)
# I HAVE A SECRET DESIRE TO FART IN A SPABATH
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:50, archived)
# squeeze out a bit of yellow too
(I helped save b3ta! Frumbert has no sig, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:55, archived)
# nah can't say I'd want to piss in the spa
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:56, archived)
# HYBRID SOCK MAMBO
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:50, archived)
# DANDRUFF: THE POOR MAN'S PARMESAN
(Caustic Armadillo consists at least 30% out of custard, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:50, archived)
# HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm clicking that
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# hehehe
this!

sorry but XLVII should win it
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
# 100% of your Spam RDA
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Spluffing it's way into the history book, it's the newsletter.
Or

My other newsletter's a fanzine.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
#
fucking up your inbox with spunk from our fun cock
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Honey, i've hidden the kids
a month off I know
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# telling off nazi's since 1975
*still feels bad
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# THE PARKINSON'S-SUFFERING GRANNY THAT WANKS YOU OFF!
EDIT: When are we getting a new icon set Rob?
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# THE AUSTRALIAN SURF COMPETITION WAS WON BY A BURMISE MAN ON A WARDROBE...WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT IT?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE RIDE
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:56, archived)
# Balls deep in your letter box
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Don't be bored
I changed Shakespeare for you.

I have no idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:52, archived)
# like Bowlderising gone wrong
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:54, archived)
# You've lost me
and simultaneously reminded me of Nicholas from school.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:55, archived)
# Thomas Bowdler
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Bowdler
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:57, archived)
# Ah
I'm comfortable with RISing on that one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:58, archived)
# wouldn't get a simple thing like a bombing wrong
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:52, archived)
# Are you suggesting that I was the target?
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# :D
(i wasn't, but it would seem funnier if that was what i had meant, so let's retcon it that way plz)
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# I'm happy with that.
A copper, whilst I was asking a security guard to make sure our windows were locked (as I sent everyone home) had a go at me yesterday, and he actually told me to 'wind my fucking neck in'.

This amused me, since of course the bomb was in Giraffe.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# heh
what a nob
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Oh, I didn't back down.
He lent in to about 4" from my face, so I took my shades off and told him to go back and fetch the security guard 'RIGHT NOW!'.

He asked me 'who the hell do you think you are?'

So I made it clear that I was either the man who would be able to give a note to a security guard and we could both get on with our jobs, or the man who would be reporting 54321 (changed to protect the insolent) for verbal assault.

And then he got the security guard.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# Silly microfacist
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# Come to Exeter. It's the fucking bomb!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:52, archived)
# ^this
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
# This this this please.
(I helped save b3ta! We are the lemon irked your craw on, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:58, archived)
# You know, given that this was IN MY BUILDING
I find this most insensitive.

or not.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# you mean I didn't get you?
*makes new bomb*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:08, archived)
# are you upset that they let you off work early yesterday?
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# I was meant to be conducting interviews yesterday.
6 people turned up to a cordon and no Manley.

I feel sorry for them.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:12, archived)
# choose one randomly with a pin
or out of a hat.

or by which one has the largest shoe size. in the event of a tie the winner will be the person with the largest shin to ankle ratio.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# I don't believe it was a bomb at all
You were going for your dump record
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# You are not the first to suggest this
although I can assure you that I was right at the other end of the building at the time.

Honest Gov.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# awwww
*snuggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:13, archived)
# *LOL*
This one - definitely, this one!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# NO SPACK LEFT ON DEVICE
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
# STUMBLING INTO YOUR INBOX LIKE “GERIATRIC JONES”
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Read it fast, because by the time you finish, the oil price will have risen by another 5 percent.
(I helped save b3ta! xandmi, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Top of the toffs
Terribly solid crewe
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Now with fixed front page!
wtfht?

:O
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:54, archived)
# ^this
more than the last time i said "this"
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:56, archived)
# cough, julia! over the bender!
*shamelessly ripped off from lords and ladies, but meh.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:55, archived)
# fucky my willy hole!!
alternatively:

HASTINGS IN GINGER INVASION!!
(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:56, archived)
# Newsletter: marginally better than hayfever.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:56, archived)
# The tunnel that links goatse to your face
/arty tunnel between NY and London inspiration blog
(Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:56, archived)
# SCREENSHOTS FROM C64 VERSION
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:57, archived)
# hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# As a Spectrum owner, oh how I hated that phrase.. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:14, archived)
# The B3ta Newsletter: Now under Tory control
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:57, archived)
# Here's our note. Tied up with a shoelace.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:57, archived)
# SANDI TOKSVIG & JOHN SESSIONS LOVE CHILD
/Whose Line Is It Anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 23 May 2008, 11:58, archived)
# That's impossible, if it were to happen i would've killed it instantly.
(fuckchutney is wanking in your hair, nnngh nnngggh NNNGGGHGHGH, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:01, archived)
# A Happy tramp Makes More Money
It's true, you know
(I helped save b3ta! monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:58, archived)
# FREE GUN WITH EVERY PURCHASE!
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:58, archived)
# MORE MING THAN MING THE MERCILESS' MINGING MING BEANS
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:58, archived)
# You mong:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# ?
harsh.

or is that typo? :P
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# No
Just rhymed:D
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# Raiding your inbox
quicker than a copper at Harry Redknapps house.
(I helped save b3ta! Collatallie Sisters, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:59, archived)
# like a book in braille but without the funny dots and smelling slightly of dog dirt
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 May 2008, 11:59, archived)
# LIKE HAVING A MOIST GLANS, BUT BETTER
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:00, archived)
# impossible
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:04, archived)
# GIVING YOU AFTERSHOCK AFTER AFTERSHOCK OF FILTH
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:00, archived)
# I say.
Can I subscribe you your newsletter?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:02, archived)
# why, naturally.
It's rather like the b3ta one, but where it lacks filth, I add it in my mind.


(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# What you do mean 'where it lacks filth'?
Do I want this newsletter or not?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# enough of this pointless piffel,
exactly how dirty is this newsletter?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DISCOVER
piffle indeed. You utter arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# I need to know
so that I can make an informed decision...!

utter arse indeed...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Very dirty.
So dirty that I'm not sure it's suitable for public consumption.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# Good.
I'll take three.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:18, archived)
# ah, but
you are the public. Therefore, for Health and Safety reasons, I must make sure the pages are clean of all words and pictures before sending it to you. Otherwise your head will explode.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# Yes.
Probably.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# Eleventy times more interesting than an turkey-puppet at eurovision
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:00, archived)
# stuffing your box with our cock of fun
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:00, archived)
# Now available on Teletext page 666
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:00, archived)
# IF BRITAIN HAS TALENT, WHY IS EVERYONE SO SHIT?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:01, archived)
# Hahaha
^this!
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:04, archived)
# YOUR VERY OWN LICENCE TO PRINT MONEY
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:01, archived)
# FREE INSIDE: THE KHYRA ISHAQ EASY WEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAMME
IN 12 11 EASY-TO-FOLLOW STEPS
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:02, archived)
# hahahah
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:04, archived)
# I'm lonely - does anyone fancy a pizza tonight?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:02, archived)
# I feel like chicken tonight
LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:03, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# hahah
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# enough of your sexual proclivities madam, I'm milking my prostate.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# I know
and it's that fact that you are doing it with a roast turkey neck that is giving me the raging tentpole
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# I find the twitching of the turkey as it struggles for breath
exceedingly satisfying.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:12, archived)
#
*SINCE WHEN HAS SOMEONE MAKING AN EXPLOSION IN A TOILET BEEN NEWS?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:02, archived)
# IN UR EXETER BLOWIN UP UR RESTRUNTS
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 23 May 2008, 12:02, archived)
# APPROVED BY THE COLLECTED UNIONS OF NORTH TAIWAN (C.U.N.T.)
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:03, archived)
# COME TO THE TAJ RESTAURANT IN EXETER, OUR CURRY WILL HAVE YOU SHITTING BOMBS
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# rancid shit pumped down your throat (with free frisbee)
() do bears shit on the wooden pope?, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# I have had a thoroughly exciting week, what with a man drowning whilst I tried to save him on Tuesday
and a bomb in our building yesterday.

I favour 'Manley's having a giraffe'.

To be frank.

Of course, I am a narcissist.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# saving does not involve standing on ones head.

but jolly bad week with that happening, joking aside.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:14, archived)
# SUCKING THE PUS OUT OF THE BOIL OF THE INTERNET
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Blackwolf is sucking diesel on, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# coming at ya like an ill conceved bomb plot.

I IS IN UR MONTY DON, STROKING HIS BRAIN.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# *snorts*
I vote this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:08, archived)
# MISSED THE 24 WEEK DEADLINE?
FREE COATHANGER & GORDONS MINIATURE FOR EVERY FEMALE READER
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:08, archived)
# Everytime you kill a kitten
God masturbates.
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# ALL THE HUMOUR ON THE INTERNET CONDENSED INTO ONE CACK EMAIL
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# You win this round Exeter!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# [B3ta Newsletter -- Wet Lent Br3ast.]
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# Exeter: SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB!!
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# SO WHAT IS HER FUCKING NAME THEN?
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# A Crewe's missile right up the brown
Hmm...political.
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:13, archived)
# RARE TORY BY-ELECTION WIN: COMMEMORATIVE ISSUE
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:14, archived)
# big fucking whup - you got another email!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# I LIKE WANKING
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# THE LOST SPANDEX ISSUE OF THE GODS
(I helped save b3ta! Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# LOL PANDAGATE
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# Sending International AIDS to Burma
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Starving Children to Death since 1842

(I helped save b3ta! Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:44, archived)
# Pasting over the cracks of time with shit
(I helped save b3ta! Ysol ab abl blap, Fri 23 May 2008, 12:55, archived)
# Probably far too late, but
There be t'rubble in China, you know.
(ToMeToYou is bumming a Unicorn on, Fri 23 May 2008, 13:50, archived)