Do they still use that awful cartoon man? Its like it was drawn by a primary schooler with the paint program on the Acorn ArchimedesAlso, im surprised they still use 'for dummies' in this genteel, sensitive age. "Self confidence FOR DUMMIES"
(
taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:18,
archived)
They tried "fuckwits" but it failed the focus group
(
Ghoti Fingers,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:21,
archived)
"Confidence Boosting FOR CREEPY UGLY SISSIES".
Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 20:53,
archived)
Hahaha. Now do Crash Tests for Dummies
edjogs Collared doves are shit.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:28,
archived)
pretending to pass a rugby ball for dummies?
(
Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:30,
archived)
I've got a feeling he might just walk back into his old job as an insurance salesman...
greg_evigan is possibly deceased on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:15,
archived)
the one on the right is making my eyes hurt real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 20:00,
archived)
That'd be ol''Shovelface' Bob!
( greg_evigan is possibly deceased on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 22:33,
archived)
does this mean jonesy is the god particle?
(
alpaca muffalo bozzerella,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:37,
archived)
The waves of pure fuck are too much for the Flans.Get out of there, lads!
(
Captain Howdy,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:15,
archived)
if the gay shift comes through during daytimethe universe, could be in danger!
*sips some milk*
(*sips some milk*
discomeats This canoe,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:00,
archived)
OMG!The objective of this study is to signal analyze subsynchronous vibrations in
turbomachinery and distinguish benign subsynchronous vibration from the true potential
instabilities.
(Flan is fucked)
(turbomachinery and distinguish benign subsynchronous vibration from the true potential
instabilities.
(Flan is fucked)
atomic A-bomb-a-nation,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:25,
archived)
*Waits for them to meet...**waits...*
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:35,
archived)
Oh no, sexy Matlock has died!I guess my Larry Tate will have to suffice
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:48,
archived)
its like the bit at the end of Akira, but with added FUCK taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:56,
archived)
AT THE SPEED OF FUCK!
HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 20:27,
archived)
Searching for the smallest particles of FUCK
mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 20:45,
archived)
wee babby flans unt fuck
(
(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 21:02,
archived)
is it a turd? is it a plane? no, it's...POOPERMAN!
Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:47,
archived)
Are faeces the theme of the week or something?
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:52,
archived)
I dunno, I had a wee stab at my first scrolly, so I thought I'd just DUMP it here Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:57,
archived)
Cor! It's one of those special fences which doesn't cast a shadow, clever.
Shlvng,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:15,
archived)
The shadow of the fence is on the other side.Superman is so super he can cast a shadow in whatever direction he wants.
( Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:21,
archived)
Don't you have magic fencing?Get with the times, Grandad!
( Captain Howdy,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:23,
archived)
wow! imagine the hulks' shite, it would probably be green and act as kryptonite, but it would work on anyone Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:22,
archived)
did doodoo Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:25,
archived)
He likes a goodread on the toilet. He likes to read the same books as his heroes.
(
F5 F5 F5 Can't be arsed.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:57,
archived)
hahahaalso, he looks like tim nice but dim.
( alpaca muffalo bozzerella,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:38,
archived)
Andy Murray's poker face
brown-wings Made with three kinds of butter,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:20,
archived)
c'mon tim
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:24,
archived)
Nicely doneTwo of my favourite things, Jean Paul Goude design and Scottish gentlemen.
( joetotale blear-e'ed, wither'd spectre,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:44,
archived)
Does every British tennis player get one of those racquets?click point to brown-wings
( Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:34,
archived)
raeurgh, raeuughh, rarurgh
(
(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 21:07,
archived)
blaaaaaaaaaaaarb!
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega..,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:55,
archived)
:D"I've got a much bushier one but this has a wider hole so I can talk without getting too much fluff in my mouth."
(
hekim 66 ɐʇƐ𐐒 ʞɔnℲ uooW,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:16,
archived)
was it 20 shekels? did you haggle?
(
The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:21,
archived)
The old glue-on-a-window-pane gag, eh?
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:09,
archived)
haha, wtf? Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:55,
archived)
Only amongst the gravely mentally ill might my genius be understood 
(Sorry for bowling straight in with a picture, but I was a regular comp poster several years ago and have since lost my reg'ing email to penis pill spambots)
iron lion cyan*jams*
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:51,
archived)
Iron a LionWhile reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and infecting cows with BSE (caused by a prion).
Is that the pun?
(Is that the pun?
Willmot laid a scotch egg,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:53,
archived)
I imagine the Lion is called Ryan. Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:58,
archived)
And, as he's going to a posh do, he has a tie onbut you can't see that in the silhouette.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:04,
archived)
I hope it isn't very hot there.Otherwise he'll be a fryin' lion called Ryan O'Brian with a tie on.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:07,
archived)
HIS NAME IS RYAN
HE HAS A TIE ON
HE IS A LION
HAS HAS A IRON
(HE HAS A TIE ON
HE IS A LION
HAS HAS A IRON
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:07,
archived)
John Presscat cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:04,
archived)
The pope LOVES jam spongecakeEverybody knows that
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:51,
archived)
There's a total eclipse of the sun, and El Poperino is decked out like a cheesecake in a posh restaurantIf that's how trekwars goes, then yes
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:14,
archived)
I think it's something to do with that there football
(
Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:43,
archived)
Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the FaithEx-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
(Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Ex-Prefect of the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:12,
archived)
![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Alternate Inventors"){kind=small}
If Ferrari invented the C5
Where's Alberto Living the nightmare.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:32,
archived)
It looks so happy to be doing what it does!
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:26,
archived)
Glad I don't have to sharpen it. FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:30,
archived)
Vrrrrrrm vrrrrrrm
Hitler's Barber Soylent Green is high in saturated fat,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:54,
archived)
he's my idal Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:16,
archived)
You're having a gi- *dragged off stage with cane* Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:36,
archived)
This is ace, one of my fave pics. FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:38,
archived)
Why certainly...Do you accept AnyshopTM gift vouchers?
...or Martinian Doolars?
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:46,
archived)
...or Martinian Doolars?
Nicei never got to the end of portal, as the laptop i had it on died, is that what happens?
( Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:08,
archived)
I'm not giving away anything.Portal and its sequel are among the few games out there that really MUST be played.
( JollyJack - a stench from the past,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:11,
archived)
i wonder if i can remember my steam login?
(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:11,
archived)
"password"Oh, wait, it's 2012: "password01"?
( JollyJack - a stench from the past,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:20,
archived)
Worth it.The end of Portal 2 is a thing of beauty.
(
Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:21,
archived)
^This.Well, the entirety of Portal 2 is wonderful, and Stephen Merchant does a brilliant job as Wheatley.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:22,
archived)
Yep, wondeful stuff.Loved exploring the old, forgotten corners of Aperture. I love Valve, but I wish they would make Half Life 3 or just admit they can't be fucking arsed.
( Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:35,
archived)
I love the uncertainty of just what happened, how long you've been asleep, and the likeness to overgrown cities like Pripyat.It seems every E3 that passes, I'm like "Half Life 3 will DEFINITELY be there next year."
I shouldn't get my hopes up, but then again, Duke Nukem Forever came out... even though it was poo.
(I shouldn't get my hopes up, but then again, Duke Nukem Forever came out... even though it was poo.
Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:40,
archived)
It's good for publicity I suppose.I read somewhere that the policy at Valve means people get to work on stuff they're interested in at the time, which must be fun, but a fucking nightmare deadline wise. At the moment they seem to be happy just pimping Steam and adding new hats in TF2.
There was definitely some work done on Half Life 3, as there were a few concept paintings doing the rounds a few years ago.
(There was definitely some work done on Half Life 3, as there were a few concept paintings doing the rounds a few years ago.
Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:45,
archived)
Yeah, Steam and PR stuff seems to be in their best interests right now.I'm confident that HL3 (or HL2e3) is on the way, but it's just a case of if Valve are that bothered with getting it out or not. It's been YEARS since the last one, so if it is indeed in development, rather than just gathering dust, it's gotta be good.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:52,
archived)
STALKER series actually uses the photo images as a basis for the artwork.Pripyat especially.
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:49,
archived)
I believe so.Call of Duty 4 did the same thing with their Pripyat missions, but they *may* have taken some artistic license with the layout of the city.
But damn if it isn't eerie.
(But damn if it isn't eerie.
Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:56,
archived)
(I'm in danger of sounding like a fanboy).There is a lot of eeriness and emptiness in these games, wandering through empty houses, decaying buildings before it gets really weird.
The original is very buggy (pm me if you ever get the game as it can be a bastard to set up).
(The original is very buggy (pm me if you ever get the game as it can be a bastard to set up).
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:03,
archived)
It's almost like Fallout 3 in that sense, exploring ruins, uncovering abandoned tech and reading accounts left behind.I was a little disappointed New Vegas didn't do this as much, as I love games that allow you to do all that.
And this might break some peoples' hearts, but I've never played S.T.A.L.K.E.R, as good as it looks and sounds. ><
(And this might break some peoples' hearts, but I've never played S.T.A.L.K.E.R, as good as it looks and sounds. ><
Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:28,
archived)
I was thrilled when I played CoD 4 and recognized parts of the city from STALKER. It was chilling, kind of a "I remember this place, and the awful things that happened here" sort of feeling.
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:13,
archived)
Needs more "thousand yard stare of a dead fish" to be a true likeness of Chel
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:14,
archived)
TWO FOR PRICE OF ONEGood value.
Can we see the current Hilary in the same uniform at some point please.
Thanks.
(Can we see the current Hilary in the same uniform at some point please.
Thanks.
Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:23,
archived)
I'm having difficulties with tails since I saw this:(
FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:28,
archived)
The URL alone says clicking on it will be a bad idea, so I don't think I will. XDI'll just leave this shit here to play games with your mind.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:36,
archived)
I'm not clicking it either, but I'm guessing it's Sonic-related :(
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:40,
archived)
No, not Sonic,Real furry/yiffer women.
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:42,
archived)
Its' not that bad really, you will click eventually.Damn, foiled again
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:40,
archived)
I'll most likely get pissed and click it later on.And I'll only have myself to blame.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:47,
archived)
You're 'avin a yiff.sorry
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:52,
archived)
I'm glad I can't see the grin on the original. FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:06,
archived)
I imagine it'd be more of a horrifying scowl of painbut then again, I've never tried it, so I dunno. XD
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:21,
archived)
oh hai JJ who I haven't stolen any concepts from recently :D
( discomeats This canoe,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:58,
archived)
Afternoon /boardApologies for real photos and shiznit... thought some of you might be interested in seeing this though:
Graphic is from q4nobody.co.uk's fantastic animation.
21 months wait in the end, but I have to say I think it was worth it :)
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:38,
archived)
Graphic is from q4nobody.co.uk's fantastic animation.
21 months wait in the end, but I have to say I think it was worth it :)
'lo bloke.I've just seen your Tom Lee Jones picture on the Poplier Page - that's proper awesome, is that!
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:40,
archived)
It's a bit marmite...Personally I love it, which is I why I went for it - plus they hang really nicely on a strap for me :)
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:41,
archived)
Wow!Love it Prof - can't wait to see it in action.
( Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:41,
archived)
Skullfunk are in Shirley on the 27th, I shall send you an invite on that facepost thingummy
One day in Andy's Guitar WorkshopThis guy started up Smoke on the Water, the manager charged out of the office like a bat out of hell screaming "OUT OUT OUT" grabbed the guitar and bundled they poor kid out of the shop. Then wandered back mumbling and grumbling.
Nearly wet meself laughing
(Nearly wet meself laughing
simbosan is too tired,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:47,
archived)
WOO!splendid stuff!
( Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:08,
archived)
Aye, i am well thank you kindlyi trust you are enjoying not getting up for work.
( Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:59,
archived)
I am indeed!It's not sunk in yet.. I just feel like I'm skiving at the moment (although spending a couple of days fucking about online instead of doing anything meaningful might have something to do with that!)
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 17:14,
archived)
very nice - is that a Kellycaster?
(
The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:18,
archived)
Lovely guitar Kerry. I'm sure Nina would have loved it *Hoooge Hugs*
(
maiden is filmed before a live studio audience,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:27,
archived)
...with a generous side order of "mortified that she was on my guitar";)
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:51,
archived)
most woo :-)Noice, sir.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:39,
archived)
lovely stuffnice one Kerry
(
mictoboy shitting in your cunt since,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 19:53,
archived)
Diamond geezer.Oi oi! You're 'avin a laugh, aint'cha!
"Bobby Diamond" always sounded like a small-time East End loan shark, or a nightclub compére from Bolton to me.
("Bobby Diamond" always sounded like a small-time East End loan shark, or a nightclub compére from Bolton to me.
Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:28,
archived)
hahahahahaha*Cleeko*
Cleeko is a new brand of cleek with 50% more Cleek! Accept no substitutes, accept only cleeko!
(Cleeko is a new brand of cleek with 50% more Cleek! Accept no substitutes, accept only cleeko!
discomeats This canoe,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:27,
archived)
Brilliant! Worthy of Private Eye, that one.
*click*
(*click*
Skotzmun Blah blah secret passage blah blah diamonds.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:39,
archived)
Wot these two said^The next one's out next Wednesday (11/7) and they tend to print quite late - you'd probably have to redo it as a line/no tints pic as well. And if I see anything vaguely similar in there next week that's not yours, I'll threaten to cancel my subscription. That'll show 'em...
(
sponge monkey is knitting himself,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 18:55,
archived)
You have GOT to send that into the Eye. I'm sure they'll pay you a reasonable £ for it.
That is ace.
(,
Wed 4 Jul 2012, 13:53,
archived)
That is ace.
You should send it in to them, they do sometimes run cartoons from randomersAlthough you might have to do something different with the fuzzy background if you wanted to make it more printable - do it sharp + lined, or drop it, or something.
Nice work on another FP, BTW.
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 22:28,
archived)
Nice work on another FP, BTW.
Now it's on the FP andon Twitter, I probably won't submit this one but may do some other gags and see if I get anywhere with Private Eye.
Cheers
(Cheers
beaubodor blogless,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 23:51,
archived)
HAAAAAAAI work for a bank, and even I think this is funy!!!!!
( discobunnywalker,
Wed 4 Jul 2012, 20:43,
archived)
Peter Lorre would have made a great Igor, on the other hand
(
Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:59,
archived)
Bloody hell Ninj,that's proper creepy! Woo!
Or should I say: Woooooooooooooooooo !
(Or should I say: Woooooooooooooooooo !
Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:59,
archived)
The acceptable face of banking
Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:46,
archived)
nae probs, Ninj.Yours is giving me the fear though.
( Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:50,
archived)
"I want to speak to barclay""well give the mainwaring"
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:57,
archived)
the no.2 ronnies
Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 13:59,
archived)
Ha ha ha ha!I wonder if it's one of those European toilets. with the inspection platform. I expect the two Ronnies don't need an inspection platform to know if it's a good shite.
( Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:03,
archived)
"one of those European toilets. with the inspection platform"?!Is this a new thing they've added since I was last in Europe?
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:10,
archived)
There are mainly in Germany, I think.
The French just have a hole in the floor.
(,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:11,
archived)
The French just have a hole in the floor.
I stayed at a place on Gotland once that was an old school buildingThere were three toilet cubicles, one with one seat, one with two seats and one with three seats. However the two-seater had had one seat boarded up and the three-seater had had two boarded up, making each cubicle a one-person institution. Obviously the owners had moral concerns about people performing their bodily functions side by side.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:16,
archived)
I once had the misfortuneof being forced to use the facilities of a remote bus station in China. It had been a long ride, and Mr Tortoise's head was touching cloth
as I ran to the public conveniences. I was greeted at the door by a person of indeterminate gender, having both bewbs AND a beard.
Hurling some loose change at the creature, I hurriedly made my way inside, only to be confronted with a shallow trough on the floor, separated into several compartments by extremely low walls, a tap on the wall, and a bucket.
The object of the exercise involved squatting over the trough, snapping one off, and then flushing it away with a bucketful of water. Timing and position was everything.
It's extremely unnerving to be looking at the back of someone's head whilst curling one down, but even more frightening knowing that the person behind is doing the same. The worst bit was when the chap behind finished first, and
chucked his bucket of water into the trough, thereby creating a logjam of turds (mine and his) directly under my arse.
French toilets? Luxury!
(as I ran to the public conveniences. I was greeted at the door by a person of indeterminate gender, having both bewbs AND a beard.
Hurling some loose change at the creature, I hurriedly made my way inside, only to be confronted with a shallow trough on the floor, separated into several compartments by extremely low walls, a tap on the wall, and a bucket.
The object of the exercise involved squatting over the trough, snapping one off, and then flushing it away with a bucketful of water. Timing and position was everything.
It's extremely unnerving to be looking at the back of someone's head whilst curling one down, but even more frightening knowing that the person behind is doing the same. The worst bit was when the chap behind finished first, and
chucked his bucket of water into the trough, thereby creating a logjam of turds (mine and his) directly under my arse.
French toilets? Luxury!
Chumps 👀,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:34,
archived)
Thanks for sharing!!I shall not be eating for the rest of the week
(
spazzcaptain Misses Valin @,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:14,
archived)
they had them when I was last in the damthat was years ago, mind
( Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:11,
archived)
I ended up having to sit on them backwards and aim straight down the hole,because the flush was never strong enough to shift my logs off the platform.
Exasperating. No wonder Europe is on it's knees.
(Exasperating. No wonder Europe is on it's knees.
Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:42,
archived)
fucking hell! well, at least you could skin up on the cistern :D Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:45,
archived)
{:-)"Everywhere men are in chains, smash the cistern"
( FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector.,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:14,
archived)
Oh right... so the inspection platform is for you to inspect your doings?I thought you meant an overhead platform for others to inspect YOU. Or is that just Soviet Russia?
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:26,
archived)
It's like a little shelf built into the porcelain.When I was a student, my diet was lacking in fibre, so my sturdy British turds used to push me off the seat. A most uncomfortable circumstance, hence the need to aim straight down the hole.
e.g. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flush_toilet#Washout_toilet
(e.g. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flush_toilet#Washout_toilet
Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:42,
archived)
Ah yes, I think I *have* used one of thoseI don't like the look of those Anglo-Indian ones. I'm not against the idea of squatting, it's just that I can't even look at a picture of one without getting an urge to go and wash my feet.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:56,
archived)
"Hansh, Hansh! You must come and shee thish"."Und bring your calipersh".
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:45,
archived)
Yep, in the Netherlands I found it was about 50:50normal bogs vs. the shit-shelf.
I saw an Italian workplace that had three cubicles - two normal bogs and a hole-in-the-floor type. Though I understand that may be the fashion for certain strict orthodox religious types that forego bare arse/seat contact. Probably some ancient warning about dead legs or bog-skiving that now requires your whole family to be put to death.
(I saw an Italian workplace that had three cubicles - two normal bogs and a hole-in-the-floor type. Though I understand that may be the fashion for certain strict orthodox religious types that forego bare arse/seat contact. Probably some ancient warning about dead legs or bog-skiving that now requires your whole family to be put to death.
joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:47,
archived)
at least it's not like a Japanese toilet(
Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:17,
archived)
haha, fraught with danger Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:22,
archived)
Fuck, those things scared me out there.Almost as much as my boss constantly insisting that I try the full range of buttons.
(
Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...",
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:39,
archived)
I have a mate who lives in Japan.He has a good working knowledge of the location of western style toilets in central Tokyo, in case he gets caught short.
( Smallbrainfield,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:44,
archived)
the sit down techno toilets with the water spray and hot air are the shinnizlei would like one for my shitter here in the UK.
( Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 16:05,
archived)
Seriously?Adds that to my list of countries never to visit.
I say list. It was just three letters.
(I say list. It was just three letters.
joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 15:54,
archived)
ta :) Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Tue 3 Jul 2012, 14:24,
archived)
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