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# make a list of the best ones you have had yet
Human: do you take penguins up the arse?
G. Bot: Yes I take penguins up the arse.


Human: you a pedophile arn't you?
G. Bot: Am I a pedophile arn't me? Of course I am.


(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:35, archived)
# doesn't work for me.
Enough of this already, no more, PLEASE.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:37, archived)
# OK,
If it is annoying people having them posted then use this link:
www.pandorabots.com/pandora/log?botid=85531c393e346d35
To read the logs of the conversations - they are priceless - you loons!

EDIT: 'Take it up the Newbury'? Nice one!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:45, archived)
# enough with the g. bot
it is fucking dull, FACT! :)

Hello everyone, btw.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:39, archived)
# hello
oh, bucket of lumps
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:40, archived)
# enough!
if you find it funny, then keep it to yourself please.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:41, archived)
# i stopped
just for you
I also had to get some work done
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:43, archived)
# Calling all nerds of great beardage
My desktop PC has croaked, all I have at my disposal is a Win2000 laptop and a win98 desktop
is there anything around that I can install on the win98 machine that will repair an NTFS drive when it's plugged into it, or is there summat on the win2000 install ploppies that will help ?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:32, archived)
# You'll need to make a boot disk or something from the w2k cd
cos win98 doesn't support ntfs
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:35, archived)
# oh arse
that means buying some of them old fashioned flopply things then
damm I hate buying blank media that's more spensive than a CDR :o)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:37, archived)
# what's the prob exactly?
you can use yer win2K cd as a boot disc (assuming you have one ;) and then try using recovery console from there.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:39, archived)
# it starts to boot into 2K
then says one of the boot devices is not working, might be ok now as my neighbour has just popped round with a spare PC thats all 2K'd up

wooo hooooooo

/gets screwdrivers
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:43, archived)
# my friend who's knowledgable in such matters
says do what mr. zero suggests.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:44, archived)
[challenge entry] with geoffs attitude he didn't last long
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:30, archived)
# Fear
the size - eeeek
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:36, archived)
# ah
whoops i'll resize... Sorry
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:39, archived)
# was no problem
is a nice piccie!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:53, archived)
[challenge entry] Bollocks and arse...
...thats all I can say. Having just spent my lunchtime making the following, I see someone has already done something similar using the same bloody picture. Arse. And they got front paged and I probably won't.

Won't stop me from posting mind.

Anyway, the "Stumpious Swearious Girraffe" was destined for trouble from the word go...


(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:30, archived)
# You just
copied.

;)

"Life is unfair"

Buy guns and even your chances.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:32, archived)
# COPIED?
I spent bloody ages (well 15 minutes) getting the bits together. And I made my own stumpy giraffe. And I even had the thought process myself.

Now, where did that dummy go?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:35, archived)
# By the photocopier.
.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:43, archived)
# It is lovely
all the same :)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:34, archived)
# Wow
Mega-mindpiss
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:38, archived)
# I like it better
than the other one - nothing personal, just my SOH
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 14:11, archived)
# well
well done anyway
(, Sat 25 Jan 2003, 15:00, archived)
# I'm having a rollercoaster of a day for some reason
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
# Wheeeeeee

Woo to you!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:31, archived)
# Woo back at ya!
Woo to kittens on roller coasters!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:33, archived)
# wooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:34, archived)
# hahaha
he is completely unimpressed
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:39, archived)
# his little face says
"at what point does this become fun?"

[edit]Unlike the guy above who's clearly terrified! I like it.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:58, archived)
# both of those are
great!

woo:)

[edit]

ALL of them are great:)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:33, archived)
# ditto
woo x10 to the power of yay
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:38, archived)
# Blair finds another use for his soldiers...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# hoopla!
That is all.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
# Not Bad!
Nominations for front page start here ;)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:31, archived)
# thats
cool
i bet it dont taste to good though
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:33, archived)
# mmm
spicy brains
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:38, archived)
# Maximize!
Cool.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 15:40, archived)
# Water skiers beware!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:27, archived)
# Excellent!
is that......never mind.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# WOO.... nice pic
NOBODY SAY IT!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# It
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
# And I just KNEW someone would say that
:)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:31, archived)
# That
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:33, archived)
# *cringe*
grrrr
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:37, archived)
# You can say that again.
:)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:42, archived)
# Th...
I'd better not :)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:43, archived)
# All I can see is a red cross...
is it real?


/coat
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:33, archived)
# A red cross
on a postcard postmarked Ll.....

(ha ha)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:45, archived)
# Was
A helicopter involved?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:30, archived)
# Is that
real?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:32, archived)
# Can't you tell
?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:36, archived)
# can't be.
where is the helecopter?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:41, archived)
# I like the pic :)
It's a shame these pics always get the same unfunny replies.

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:42, archived)
# and it's b&w
which we like.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:51, archived)
# Not such a dark lord after all...


Was gonna make the anim slower, with "come here little boy" as the caption, but I didn't...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:26, archived)
# ha ha!
Luke was right - he could feel the good in him.

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:36, archived)
# well
looks like he's found the invisible man's prostate gland
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:41, archived)
# The very tall
invisible man.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:46, archived)
# hahahahaha
nice
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:42, archived)
[challenge entry] The Friendly Chump Manbear

was exactly the wrong combination
of fanged and frightening on the
one hand and trusting and bouncy
on the other to survive long after
the arrival of the colonists.
click here for huge and clean
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:26, archived)
# yay!
it's chump manbear!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# Yay for Chump Manbear!
And double Yay for Zog!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# i woo your chump manbear
and i yay him also.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
# woo chump
yay manbear :)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:44, archived)
# Oh Good God
It just keeps going!
I love that to pieces.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:50, archived)
# chump manbear for president!
That's ultragood.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:52, archived)
# Ooh,
the new b3ta newsletter just arrived.

Hang on while I have a butchers ...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:25, archived)
# Bah!
My Flash anim didn't get in.
I'm un-subscribing right now!!




Not really, tee he.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:27, archived)
# TAGS
for god sake man, your TAGS are open
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# Are not!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
# swine
you closed them while my back was turned.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:30, archived)
# Yes,
I am a tinker.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:42, archived)
# By now
you should have had several people close your tag for you.

But they seem to be a little slow.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
[challenge entry] Star Wars Vs. E.T.

I think this image might be a tad large! Sorry! First post & couldn't really suss how to compress it more. Naturally, feel free to take it down if it's causing download probs.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:24, archived)
# I think you could
cull a number of frames from the gif, like the transitions

Also try reducing colours, no dithering, and reducing the actual image dimensions.



(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:27, archived)
# gifing huuuuuge file :o(
Cheers, I'll try that. Can't resubmit it today though 'coz I'm at work :o)

Shall I take it down do you reckon?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:43, archived)
# e gads man
thats fooking huge
make it clicky
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
# woo
click on the bird at oddcast.com enough times and you get redirected here
HAHAHAH woo
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# I am reading the logs of my bot's conversations with you lot!
Please stop asking her if she takes it up the gary glitter. These are the funniest things I have ever read!
She is here, please play nice!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:24, archived)
# i just got this
Human: let me lick your pussy
G. Bot: Go ahead,, try to lick my pussy.

where aew the comma police?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:26, archived)
# this is so fun
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:28, archived)
#
Human: i have a huge cock do you?
G. Bot: Doesn't everyone have a huge cock. I have a lot of friends on the Internet. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:32, archived)
#
Human: anal or oral
Munt: Oh, you are a poet.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:36, archived)
# Thredjack
Have you seen the Moon monkey song in the newsletter its Fcuking insane.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:25, archived)
# i think
crab blokes lost it this time
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:29, archived)
# Can I just say....
1) I am new here.
2) You are all comedy geniuses (or is it genii?).
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:15, archived)
# hello welcome
some of us are geniuses.
the vast majority are just sluts.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:16, archived)
# Speak for
yourself.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:17, archived)
# wooo!
I'm a slut!

Yay!!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# I'm
a genius slut.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:21, archived)
# best of
both worlds.

(i'm a slutty genius)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:23, archived)
# i am a
genie slutarse.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:26, archived)
# I have the
Arse Slut Gene.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:31, archived)
# i'm a slunty cut
.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:34, archived)
# actually so am i
it's ace, isn't it?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:48, archived)
# i am a duck
be afraid!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:17, archived)
# Now now...
flattery will get you anywhere! (or is that a young persons railcard?) ;o)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# They said that to Stanley Gibbons,
but he was a little hard of hearing.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:20, archived)
# Now that...
... is an uber-groan ...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:24, archived)
# I am
a lurker
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:20, archived)
# I am
the egg man.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:27, archived)
# Oh you silly chicken
welcome
you'll get used to the high level of hummus here but one thing that seems to upset some people are posts that just say 'Hi' or 'Bye', generally accepted that the best thing to do is to post something funny that you've made or link to something you've found.

And yes, we are all genies....have a wish
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:21, archived)
# hi
bye
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:23, archived)
# a/s/l?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:24, archived)
# I wish I were
a choo choo train,
with passengers inside me.
And I think that thats the only way
I can get hot chicks to ride me.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:25, archived)
# fan
tas
tic.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:30, archived)
# Sorry
you are wrong.

I'm a minor deity.
Well, Demon if we must be specific.
Though I do have one worshipper. Terrence the snail who lives in my garden.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:32, archived)
# Not any more
I smote him this morning
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:42, archived)
# Hello
but why are you using my real nomenclature? Well without the 1.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:25, archived)
[challenge entry] Sadly there are now only 2 surviving Beatles (quality shopping!)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:12, archived)
# everyone knows the real Paul McCartney died in the 70's
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:14, archived)
# stop that
stop that right now.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:16, archived)
# you can see
he has his hands down his pants as well ?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:17, archived)
# no....but you obviously can
.....which is quite disturbing.
Is he feeding his whippets?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:21, archived)
# Whipping his
Feedets morelike :o)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:26, archived)
# he is dead though
John said so...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:23, archived)
# when?
When did John say he was dead?
Have you been playing your 78's backwards again?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:25, archived)
# Er...
isn't that "Three" Beetles?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:15, archived)
# How ?
???
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:16, archived)
# eh ?
Er no, just two.Count 'em !
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:17, archived)
# Erm...
White Beetle on the far left.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# Two beatles
and a beetle, I think you'll find.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# yeah
the best two are dead - how is that justice ?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:15, archived)
# there is no justice,
only death.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:17, archived)
# or
gonads and strife


weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# ringo starr's
made more money than any of them
so I vote ringo's the best.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# That's so untrue
it almost hurts
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:25, archived)
# he's
had the best solo career
thats a little known fact
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:37, archived)
# Paul is worth
somewhere in the region of 750 million quid. Ringo ain't worth dick. Tis true.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:39, archived)
# see above
pauls worth that much couse he's a c-nt
lol
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:43, archived)
# the best two?
george harrison was a right muppet ffs
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:20, archived)
# Without GH,
there'd be no Bwian.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:22, archived)
# Paul is best
*fact*
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:24, archived)
# Lucas Does Shakespeare
"Alas, poor Yorick. *psssshhhhffft* I knew him Horatio, although I found his lack of faith *psssshhhhffffttt* disturbing..."



Next week, Yoda as Bottom...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:07, archived)
# Only some wierd star wars fanatic
would be interested in seeing Yoda's Bottom. :)

Woo to the pic, it's grand.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:10, archived)
# seek my arse
do you?

sit on your face I shall.
my dark side shall cloud your vision...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:16, archived)
# Do not underestimate
the power of the dark arse.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:26, archived)
# humm....
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:27, archived)
# Say what you see


Sorry, MAJOR lack of hummus today...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:06, archived)
# oh dear..
...arms race?



oh dear oh dear oh dear
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:07, archived)
# Groan
Arms race?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:07, archived)
# Aha!
International arms race! Spifferoonie!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:07, archived)
# International
arms race

Chinese flag may be more appropriate than the japanese one, they don't even have an official army.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:08, archived)
# You've all got it.
I know, I know. Sorry, but well done y'all. And someone's bound to point out sooner or later thet they're all running the wrong way too! But like I said, me noggins got no ideas today.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# .
they're all running the wrong way
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# erm
how can you tell which way they are going?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:18, archived)
# is it..
5 people with nationalistic tattoos, hiding under a running track but using their forearms as periscopes?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# I can't believe
I didn't get that until I saw people come up with answers! Woo!.

*blatant threadjack* - Looks like www.scan.co.uk/todayonly/ has another special offer on graphics tablets. Don't know how good they are, but thought I should mention it.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# scan have nice prices
but they can't deliver for shit

and when they get it wrong... they REALLY get it wrong...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:23, archived)
# thought it could be
stand ins for 'going for gold'
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:14, archived)
[challenge entry] The short-necked giraffe really didn't last very long...


poor thing!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:06, archived)
# woo!
fabulous!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:08, archived)
# hehe
lovely
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:09, archived)
# quality!
great work Dad, I actually feel sorry for the poor blighter
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:10, archived)
# poor mite!
He will be neck'st in line extinction
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# nice one
do what the Gnus do
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# ooooooh

/last repost of the day.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:17, archived)
# Yay!
Poor bugger.


You can with a Giraffe if you stand on a stool.
But a hedgehog...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:13, archived)
# Go
Nanny Og!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:27, archived)
# There is a short necked giraffe, or used to be....
There is a short necked giraffe, or used to be....I can't remember whether it's extinct or what, but there is/was definately a short necked giraffe. It just looked like a tall spotty camel.....

Great pic...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:47, archived)
# hehehehe
triffic!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 14:38, archived)
# iwantoneiwantoneiwantoneiwantone
I love that, I have a short-legged cat I tease, but know I want a short-necked giraffe.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 19:08, archived)
# Yodalalaalley-eyoladelayloooaoaolooao


How the young Micheal came by his name.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:06, archived)
# woo!
nice one.
mr pun factory!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:07, archived)
# have my new
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:07, archived)
# what on earth
is that woo yay from??
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:09, archived)
# film
link on the front page-
its a clip out of music video.
www.oblongbox.com/WorkPages/Ducks/Ducks_Title.htm
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# it's very good
.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:12, archived)
# most excellent
love the detail on the arms/legs ;)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:11, archived)
# did you have to force him to wear those trousers?
:)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:14, archived)
# wooha!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:15, archived)
[challenge entry] The very rare (almost extinct)
Cillamunk
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:05, archived)
# Chincilla
Shirley?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:08, archived)

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