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Woman survives after being buried alive by bear
according to Russian media
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:49,
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Siberian lols
"'March, march away from here immediately' - she shouts as they retreat, adding a Russian swear word for good measure"
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:00,
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those sweary bears, it shouldn't be allowed
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macroscian (1 like), Thu 14 May 2015, 13:01,
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Just in time for lunch
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:20,
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Gosh, that must have been unBEARable for her.
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:10,
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UrsusVsH3r
(a new section in the Siberian Times)
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:17,
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I bet there was a big paws before she was found.
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 13:28,
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At lease she escaped a grizzly death
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:30,
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It's ursine of the times.
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:54,
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did she hear the bear shit in the woods?
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fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 14 May 2015, 15:14,
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maybe not
#tappen
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 14 May 2015, 15:53,
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No shit!
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 16:21,
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No diggitygrisly
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smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Thu 14 May 2015, 19:25,
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I guess we'll be getting more newsletters?
Sell shares in the ginger fuhrer.
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Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:11,
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Rob has trouble eating bacon sandwiches too.
I wish we could have that nice Mr Blair back.
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WeirdWeb, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:41,
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Which insecure job future are you?
CLICK TO FIND OUT
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BarryFromTheShitFarm Oh, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:45,
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He only left the bloody door open
silly prince charles
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The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:06,
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*Writes letter*
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Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:52,
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re flight of the bumblebee
some japanese dude shredding it at about 300bpm
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colmcq2, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:00,
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[prolly dont click this link if you value work
I got 12 first ever go
beat THAT
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colmcq2, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:57,
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As you say
dangerously addictive
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:05,
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ok, 14 first go

17 second go. good fun
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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:08,
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bitch
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colmcq2, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:11,
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can't get higher than 18
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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:54,
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well youre better than me
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colmcq2, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:56,
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17 first go
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 20:43,
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i got 13
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theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:11,
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I got the sack
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Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:15,
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19 on my first go.
Dabnammit!
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Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:20,
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20x7 on my second go.
I consider that game done, time for some work....
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Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:14,
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12, then my boss walked over
So yeah. Oops.
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evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:28,
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13
and i hate you
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teh_raab Hail Seitan!, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:00,
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bloody hell, where did that hour go??
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:01,
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Nah mate, you were right the first time
BBC reporter has James Naughtie moment.
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barst Rdli Hakkis 4eva in r hartz, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:35,
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Gold :D
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:41,
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The Simpson's voice actor quits
He voices Burns, Ned Flanders. Principle Skinner among others.
Not sure if they'll kill of the characters or get a new actor to voice them?
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The Tramp Surveyor, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:35,
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they can't expect the show to last forever
I'd kill it now
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$$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:41,
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He's 71, prolly not got long left anyway
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$$ ✅, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:42,
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Blimey he's 71!
He's looking very well on it
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thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:42,
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Crikey - he makes up about half the cast.
I expect they'll be trying to get him back by any means necessary.
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Pig Bodine., Thu 14 May 2015, 11:42,
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after 26 years they must have enough in the archive to splice his lines
and judging by the current series, it will cover any eventuality
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:48,
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Good for him.
I think he has been pretty critical of the series decline anyway.
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augsav forgot about B3ta, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:46,
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Thats the thing about voice actors
You can replace them, and no-one can tell the diddly-ifference
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Conthortius, Thu 14 May 2015, 15:40,
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Absofuckinluteley unexpected!
My whole life is a lie.
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Duledin, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:38,
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spam
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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:47,
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Spam
cunt
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SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:48,
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Cunty spam cunt.
Your whole life is a lie.
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:06,
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Oh, bye then
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:17,
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Your whole cunt life is full of cunting spam.
Fuck off.
Mods, this cunt always does this. Slap a ban on his spamming ringpiece.
Thanks *spoons*
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:21,
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of all the websites in all the world it baffles me when spammers pick this one
is our small cohort of jaded peurile timewasters some sort of desirable target demographic?
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:08,
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They think it will get them backlink rating improvements in Google
They are wrong, because b3ta is coded to make that impossible.
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:41,
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SPAM: ELIMINATED
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:48,
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Good, but,
not enough blood and guts. Could do with less spam as well
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mcvpjd3 Has no Board Sig yet, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:30,
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Nonce.
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Fluffster, Thu 14 May 2015, 15:44,
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You've been kitten'd
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Tupperware Box Full of Angry Bumble Bees , 30p each or three for a quid, Thu 14 May 2015, 16:17,
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Join the fun
Countdown how much time is left until Johnny Depp's dogs are killed
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 14 May 2015, 5:49,
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Doggone!
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 8:15,
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Pet smugglers support terrierism
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wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 14 May 2015, 9:15,
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cant they put them in quaranteen?
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colmcq2, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:18,
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quar c
mmm yum, hotdogs!!
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theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:38,
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I hope they get killed
so I can start a band called Depp's Dogs Dead
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Peej, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:18,
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Your first hit will be 'Terrier Burier'
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CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:23,
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Woofanasia?
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:25,
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'Edward Deceased Hounds'?
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Mudface The web isn't callipygian, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:30,
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Ouch.
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:00,
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When I last went to Oz the customs dog found a sealed peanut bar in someone's luggage
I thought the Aussies were more paranoid about terrorists than we are?
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LetsGetDownToIt, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:30,
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someone's luggage my ass.
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:11,
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ass arse
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sithemong, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:12,
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Dead man walkies. We got a dead man walkies here.
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Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:47,
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I wonder if it'll be death by hanging
or will the dogs think they're going for a walk
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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 14 May 2015, 13:51,
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A few suggestions here from a link yesterday
www.cookyourpet.com/html/euthanasia.htm
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spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 14 May 2015, 15:16,
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How to snap like a diva
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augsav forgot about B3ta, Thu 14 May 2015, 2:33,
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I like this.
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:28,
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*click*
*click*
*click*
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CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:32,
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Crow revolution!
A kestrel tries to force a Jackdaw out of a nesting box....Jackdaw unleashes some chuck norris type shit. After 3 minutes another Kestrel arrives to try and inject some spunk into the right carrion
Don't fuck with jackdaws.
Quite old but no glass cockenspiel.
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Tivert, Thu 14 May 2015, 1:28,
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Blimey!
What a carrion!
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LP, Thu 14 May 2015, 6:35,
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They made a Rookie mistake!
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Ol' Ginger Bastard a role model for the children, Thu 14 May 2015, 6:48,
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Stupid birds
... am i doing it right?
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Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Thu 14 May 2015, 8:03,
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Cor-vids like this are amazing!
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 8:13,
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They'll be raven about it for ages
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wakeupandsmellthebacon, Thu 14 May 2015, 9:17,
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Jackdaw dropping!
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 10:30,
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That kestrel is a craven coward.
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Zachariah Pardon, pardon. J'AI UNE POUSSETTE, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:11,
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the robin bastards!!!
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skullbuggery uh huh! kissed a cow!, Thu 14 May 2015, 8:20,
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Yeah but who's the real thief?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4BBp28_ZLk
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PintOfGuinness, Fri 15 May 2015, 22:04,
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3:25 "Leave it Kes, he's not worth it!"
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 8:58,
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I love the bit where jackdaw just struts around a bit and then leaves :)
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omnitruncatedkraken from Empire Algol, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:11,
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Jackdaws are ace
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Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:56,
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I was getting bored of drones
However this guy has rekindled my interest. Bit shaky here and there, but you can't fault him for effort and imagination
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RompaStompa Stick it up your jumper, Thu 14 May 2015, 1:11,
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I used to think there were cameras everywhere.
Now, with the spreading of drones, I realise how much "everywhere" was still left to fill with cameras.
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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 14 May 2015, 11:11,
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Short film meant to be aired before the Empire Strikes Back found
I'm not into Star Wars, but this may interest some of you?
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:51,
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I *MUST* remember
That when a girl comes back to my slum I pass my self off as a film director by the virtue of film posters in my bedroom....(and perhaps as the director of Guinness for the "i'm here to study poster")
EDIT: Edit
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zacherynuk @echo off, Thu 14 May 2015, 0:02,
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He was a bit crap at fighting :(
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 0:08,
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It's just a flesh wound
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fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 14 May 2015, 4:59,
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that's pretty much how supporting features were..
mind numbingly boring. Modern adverts are far easier to sit through.
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L E T S G O "Stop buying into and spreading this shit", Thu 14 May 2015, 10:08,
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I vaguely remember that
and have often wondered what the film I saw before Empire Strikes Back was.
"..He saw Black Angel but was never quite sure if what he saw was a film, or something he had imagined." BBC article
Now I know!
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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:36,
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The Day Your Arse Caught Fire...
Chyort voz'mi!
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Spin Its a thing., Wed 13 May 2015, 23:45,
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More of this sort of thing.
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 14 May 2015, 0:06,
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It is a metaphor for life.
You're warming your spuds by lifes fire,it all goes up in flames and then someone comes along to 'help' you by kicking you in the ass.
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 0:09,
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My friend's dad wrote that song.
It was about her conception :/
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 14 May 2015, 0:15,
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Oooh yes!
The actual words "I just died in your arms tonight" originally came to Nick Van Eede while he was having sex with his girlfriend. The French phrase "la petite mort" ("the little death") is a metaphor for orgasm. After writing down his version of the phrase, he later used it as the opening line to the song as well as using it as the chorus.
Should be 'died in your clunge'
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 0:33,
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The metaphor of death equated with orgasm is not exclusive to French literature. It is, after all, the climax.
I can't be arsed to look for examples but it's common to Chaucer and Shakespeare. See also the ingestion of food being called consumption, the act of fucking being called the consumption of a physical relationship, and pneumonia and TB, for centuries resulting in almost certain death, being referred to as 'the consumption'. It's disputed, but the breathlessness that lung disease causes was compared to the breathlessness of a good shag that is so all consuming, hence 'the consumption'. I'm fairly sure the same metaphor is found in classic Greek and Latin lit.
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Thu 14 May 2015, 1:06,
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artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 14 May 2015, 1:45,
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?
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Prufrock Lucifer, son of the morning!, Thu 14 May 2015, 1:56,
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Probably too much vodka in his piss-stained trousers.
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:09,
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Story of my life :(
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 11:55,
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Looks like he got lucky there with cotton trousers, synthetic would have melted and destroyed half his skin.
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Benzyl, Thu 14 May 2015, 13:17,
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They look like Tabs 'weekend' trousers .......
.so Im told.
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 14:17,
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it's not funny
my ass is on fire
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--- ---, Thu 14 May 2015, 19:53,
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Put your donkey out then!
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 23:17,
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The day her car caught fire
something something something smokin' hot russian.
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buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:19,
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hairspray and then lighting a fag perhaps?
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HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 14 May 2015, 8:22,
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Breathing vodak fumes and lighting a cig?
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Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:40,
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1:15 "Hmm... maybe I should just back away slowly..."
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da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:13,
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Classic Citroen behaviour
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 14 May 2015, 14:02,
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The Day the Earth Caught Fire
Haven't seen it for ages.
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--- ---, Wed 13 May 2015, 22:25,
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The easy way
To tell if someone will ever make it as a journalist is to ask Earth Saved or Earth Doomed? No hack would ever want to write Earth Saved. Filmed in the old daily express office, when it was a newspaper as opposed to a seedy porn baron's joke at truth's expense.
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The Ann Coulter Fan Club Babylon is burning at, Wed 13 May 2015, 22:28,
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That last part of this is epic.
Only parallel I can make is 28 days later.
World Saved. World Doomed.
World.
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zacherynuk @echo off, Wed 13 May 2015, 22:56,
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great film
feels unnervingly relevant nowadays.
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mutated monty, Thu 14 May 2015, 0:44,
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Must have been...
...posted ?
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jingle_man, Wed 13 May 2015, 20:59,
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About £1.50
I'd take quite a few and ebay them.
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--- ---, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:04,
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This is why we can't have nice things...
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Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:12,
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OK, I'll let you have one for the same price I got it
CANDLES!
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--- ---, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:14,
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DECCA CANDLES,!!!!!
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Spin Its a thing., Wed 13 May 2015, 21:22,
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ooooo candles
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Fadgebadger Sweaty sumo wanks for everyone!, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:26,
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Happy Candle-wank!!!
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Dawn Of The Bread $$$$ E-THUG 4 LIFE - THAT'S HOW I SCROLL $$$$, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:41,
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Birdseye potato candles.
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After you my dear Alfonse No. After you., Wed 13 May 2015, 21:46,
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Dem candlez b trippin
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Pig Bodine., Wed 13 May 2015, 23:06,
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Happy Decacandles!!!
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wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:34,
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Happy CANDLE DAY!!!
A decade of your life wasted here :)
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Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:39,
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someone should flim a tshirt popping out of a hole and edit it into this video when the people press the button.
Just for lols.
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mutated monty, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:58,
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If only we knew someone who was good at animating stuff...
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Thu 14 May 2015, 0:16,
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Why the fuck don't they advertise the alternatives then ?
Where are all the nice sweatshops ? Fucking Birmingham - Not anymore.
Can't even buy decent lace in Nottingham anymore.
The only answer is second hand shops. Yay!
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zacherynuk @echo off, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:02,
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Yeah, but where's the fucking 'give me my coins back' button?
Also, nice that they managed to salvage 30 seconds of 'hand over mouth' out of 15 hours worth of people who don't enjoy being preached at and just walk away.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:31,
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So only cheap clothes are made in sweat shops,
and the more you pay for clothes, the more the person who made them gets. Got it.
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monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:37,
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Yep that's spot on
Nike trainers for example cost almost £80 to make and they sell some onto us at a loss, becuase they are generous.
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DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 14 May 2015, 11:17,
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needs more uplifting music
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dirk speedrift Sit doon, Thu 14 May 2015, 7:38,
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I would hammer the "buy" button.
Fuck shit like this by mediacunt budget-bonos, who happily guilt the unwary as a means of self-promotion.
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Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 14 May 2015, 10:09,
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I wouldn't press either button
I'm not the kind of idiot who buys a t-shirt I'm unlikely to ever wear from a vending machine, just because it's cheap.
I but t-shirts when I need them, and then I buy ones that are *FABULOUS*
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LP, Thu 14 May 2015, 12:52,
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a few pence a day to live on..
and if everyone stops buying these clothes?
They don't have a job. woo.
aren't we all so awesome that we can donate €2..
What do you think happens if you buy the Tshirt? Do you think that the vendors say "wicked! that's €1.90 profit for us!! get more T shirts" or do you think they give that T shirt for free and donate that €2 themselves anyway?.
Hit buy or donate it matters fuck all. all that happens is one way you get the shirt. they still get the donation. for whatever good it does.
What this machine does is trick people into giving money. if there was a refund button, I'd hit that.
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L E T S G O "Stop buying into and spreading this shit", Thu 14 May 2015, 10:20,
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Animal cruelty
Disgusting, poor monkey.
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--- ---, Wed 13 May 2015, 20:54,
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Fucking hell
He meant that a
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Frogbeat, Wed 13 May 2015, 21:39,
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Oof.
Dwarf kicking reaches new heights.
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Varmint, Wed 13 May 2015, 22:31,
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Yep
Also definitely a new low.
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Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:30,
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Ha ha ha!
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Spin Its a thing., Thu 14 May 2015, 8:16,
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well choreographed - must have taken some rehearsal
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Lt.Rightenant, Wed 13 May 2015, 23:36,
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hahaha
weeeeee
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 14 May 2015, 9:34,
Reply)
hahaha
also the comedy bonk on the head
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h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 14 May 2015, 9:45,
Reply)
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