Professional poker player
I'm without a job now, playing poker online.

Could possibly say I did make it.
(David Fishwick Minibus Sales - notmad.co.uk, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:53, Reply)

fly me to new york
funnily enough, we were talking about this at work today...

the only two childhood dreams i had that i can actually remember was to fly on concorde to New York, and go to the restaurant at the top of the world trade centre.

if i remember any more of my childhood dreams, i'll be sure to warn you lot, and homeland security

cruelly shattered? more like up in a ball of flames!


edit: i also wanted to be a games programmer, but ended up as a client-side developer for the BBC, which is probably far more fun, as we get to spend your licence fee on hiring massive venues for our christmas parties, and getting hammered on mojitos all night for free
( lo, the Greebo Warrior - Est. 2002, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:47, Reply)

Adult hopes and expectations...
I wanted to be any of the following during my formative years (ages 5 - 21):
police officer like my dad, lawyer, martial arts expert, pop star, fine art expert on the Antiques Roadshow, world renowned academic (shame I forgot to do any work at Oxford, eh?), dancer, actress, Jeremy Clarkson's wife.

Oh wait a minute, that one's my current ambition. Either that or live on a farm. Sad I know.
(SpongyMonkey is an honorary East Anglian on, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:42, Reply)

i wanted to be
usefull. instead im a student....














wait i can still get medical tests done on me, and i keep seats warm really well.
(konigsred, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:38, Reply)

I always wanted to be a Librarian. Instead I'm stuck with being a fucking professional poker playing rockstar astronaut. Ho hum.
( PMGT -Bacon., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:18, Reply)

Madness, Madness they call it...
My childhood dream was to meet my all time favourite band, Madness. A fairly regular ambition, never thought it would happen.

Till I won a competition last before last Christmas, had to fly all the way to Dublin for the occasion and got a full five minutes with them.

They are no longer the young lads they were in their videos. It was like meeting a room full of my dad. They were drunk and smoking drugs (I was with my mum too) so my words to everyone, NEVER meet your idols - it will always be a disapointment. And it wasn't even a free bar.
( emmalina, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:15, Reply)

Oh Yes
There was a point in my life where I wanted to be in New Kids On The Block.

That is all.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:11, Reply)

Pigeon Street
is to blame for my childhood ambition. I wanted to be Long Distance Clara.

I then grew up to be a mighty 5'2 and there's no way my feet will reach the pedals of a dirty great artic lorry, nor would I be able to see over the steering wheel.

:(
( kasterz loitering within tent since, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 22:00, Reply)

I made it (sort of)
Do you remember doing a careers assessment exercise at school? When I did one, it came out as "Environmental Consultant." Being a green, and a monumental smartarse, this looked just up my street.

Fast forward eight years - I had finished my MSc course in Environmental Impact Assessment*, Auditing** and Management Systems*** and fell into freelancing. I developed a campaign for the student group People and Planet - see peopleandplanet.org/gogreen - and wrote a paper for an association. Things were looking up.

I then got myself a proper job as an environmental consultant - actually my job title was just "Environmentalist" - you can now find Chartered Environmentalists, so it does make sense. It was with a small firm in a beautiful place near Bath.

Fast forward three weeks after I started - I was in hospital, seriously ill: my skin was falling off [which prompted the username], I was bright red, not-quite-with-it for much of the time and my hair was falling out. Oh, and I'd lost my job.

I had developed a very nasty reaction to some medicine I had been taking for several months. It took me eight months to recover and to get myself a new job. I ended up temping for a further eight months before I found a proper job, which I'm still in. So, while one of my MSc mates is earning "six figures", I'm busy f-ing about with databases for a living, but at least it's at an environmental journal. Ho-hum.

* part of the planning process for big developments
** looking for environmental nastiness and misbehaviour, basically
*** setting up internal systems to avoid creating environmental nastiness and misbehaviour
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:50, Reply)

Comedy Gold
I had all the usual ambitions as a child; footballer, astronaut, milkshake tester, professional strip poker player, being Mr. T, sex pest, etc. But once you get a little older your aims tend to move a smidge lower. Therefore by the age of about twelve all I really wanted was a job that made me laugh. Now this might seem a ludicrous aim but bugger me if I haven't managed it! I work for the NHS and can get my grubby little mitts on millions upon millions of prescriptions. Prescriptions aren't funny, I hear you say. Au contraire..... It started when I was asked to pull the history of a patient. Slight humour was derived from him being called Percival Clutterbuck, gigantic humour was derived from him being prescribed a drug called Human Mixtard. This got my childish little mind working; what I presumed was a dull as hell clerical job had suddenly opened up into the world of hilarious names. I therefore give you the list of my current favourites, all completely true.

Other than the aforementioned Mr. Clutterbuck, my favourite patients so far are Abdool Pooloo (parents were clearly enamoured with the letter 'o'), Albano Alfonso Bra's (I swear the apostrophe is part of his name, not added by me), suspected visitor to deedpoll Countess Magenta Devil, and winner of the award for most hopefully making their child sound cosmopolitan and failing, Sergio Guiseppe Smith.

But the true hilarity comes from the doctors themselves. Deep breath now. There are so many Dr. D'eath's it's got a little boring now, Dr. Killingback is much funnier although less worrying than Dr. Godbehere. Not as good as Dr. Doodoo but mildly better than Dr. Mycock. There are several Dr. Shipman's all cursing their luck now they can never apply for that promotion to the geriatric department they had their heart set on but at least they get taken more seriously than Dr. Pepper. Probably more than Dr. Kaz Fuks too. Dr. Bumbra must be used to barely covered sniggering as must Drs. Cakebread, Beaver, Hooker and the outstandingly named Dr. Craig-McFeely. I can only imagine the annoyance of standing in a crowd on fireworks night for Dr. Oo. All the nerds I know wish their name was as cool as Dr. Stawarz but I'm more jealous of Dr. Bigwood. There's definitely some sort of compulsion for people with penis related names to go into the medical profession too. Just ask. Dr. A. Dick. Or Dr. Acellam-O'Dong. Or Dr. C. Cocks. Or, my second ever favourite, Dr. Weadick. Sir, I salute you! You poor, poor sod. And I would ask everyone to join me in a quick prayer that there is never a boy born to the unfortunately monikered Dr. Cordelia Feuchtwang.

Ambition? Achieved.

Edit: God must read b3ta! Just today I walked into work to find a message waiting for me to call Accounts Officer Mr. Cock! Sadly I bottled it when the phone was answered and asked if Derek was there.

AND I forgot to mention Dr. Bottery!
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:43, Reply)

Flashdance!
As a young girl, I wanted to be an actress, as you do. Hence, I tried out for my school musical, as you do. I was cast in a revue as the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz. Directly after the bit from Wizard of Oz was the Grease bit, so I wore my Grease costume underneath the Wizard of Oz one.

When I was hit with the bucket of water, the flying monkeys surrounded me in a circle, I took off the witch costume and wig, and crawled under the curtain, leaving them onstage. Lo and behold: melted.

On opening night, I fell down the set of stairs backstage and twisted my ankle. I could stand, but I could not dance. Therefore, as I could not participate in the Grease segment, the following night, I did not wear my Grease costume under my witch costume. I did not realize the error inherent in this until I took off the witch costume.

In that moment, standing in my skimpy undergarments, surrounded by young men leaping about and grunting like monkeys, I knew that I was not meant to be an actress.

Now I am a stripper.*

*Not really.
(Alliath, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:36, Reply)

i have wanted to be a policeman, fireman, doctor, vet, christ even lawyer
but the one that lasted the longest was rescue helicopter pilor at the RLNI.

Which I think is quite nice.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:26, Reply)

I was a geek, even then.
I wanted to be one of the characters on "Star Trek"- either Spock or Scotty. (Scotty got to play around with all kinds of cool shit and rig up strange devices from scraps of this and that.)

In truth, being Spock would have been great- he seemed to get almost as many space bimbos chasing him as Kirk did (although the silly bastard never did anything about any of them, other than that one Romulan chick), he was smarter than anyone else on board, inhumanly strong, and if anyone gave him shit- Nerve Pinch! Seriously- how cool would that be?!? Wife gets in your face and screams at you? Drunken bastard harassing you? Boss ragging on you? Just one quick grab and you can tell them to shut the fuck up and make it stick.

Hell, I still want to be Spock, even though my career has been more Scotty...

...although come to think of it, Scotty always did have an appreciation for drinking...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:22, Reply)

As a nipper
I always wanted to change my surname to 'Fiddler', become outrageously wealthy, and take over 'Kidde Thorne', the fire-safety company, and rename them in my own image.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 21:04, Reply)

Several ambitions...
mostly the usual childish stuff, but when i was 16/17 wanted to be a designer, product/automotive it didnt matter.

I got talked into going to business school and getting a business degree (i think my dad used to shudder everytime i mentioned Art Foundation Courses). I promptly dropped out of business school, got sweet job as a Cocktail Barman and part-time doorman, bought a flat and became independent (note correct spelling b3tans!).

I still want to be a designer though :'(
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:53, Reply)

This is captin niggy, im flying u's on holiday!
When I was little about 2-3 I wanted to be a pilot, Apparently (I was too young to remember this) We were about to depart on a family holiday, sat on the plane getting our seat belts sorted ect. My dad thought he’d wind me up and told me we hadn’t taken off yet because the pilot had to take the day off and the crew wondered if I would be the pilot and that because the co-pilot was there it would be fine…. My dad had to chase me down the aisle because I just got up and ran to the cock-pit.
I changed my mind about being a pilot though, I decided I was going to be a sports physio that was also a doctor and a whole lot of other things rolled into one, a bit like the legendary dr slone… with more sports and less murders! After being completely down trodden by the wonderful careers advisers that laughed!!! when I said I wanted to be a sports physio, and making me feel like I should just give up and go commit. Im just about to graduate my sports therapy BSc. Come this summer I will start some more courses and will eventually become a doctor… J I hate careers advisers.
(Also hate those school tests for careers as well, filled in 2 of them and I never got a result back.. one got lost, my second got stuck in the machine so only the people up to Co in the alphabet ever got a result that year. I always thought it was because fate had something special planned for my career… maybe a super hero!… wow…)
(micklemis, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:49, Reply)

Lame
Click "I like this" if you agree that this qotw is lame.
(mmm....beer, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:48, Reply)

As a wee kiddie
I had high aspirations indeed. When all the others were wanting the ridiculous and impossible jobs - astronaut, pop star, football player - I had my feet firmly on the ground. I knew where the good life would be for me when I grew up. I wanted to be a dog.
(Dromedary, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:26, Reply)

I wanted to be a garbage man...
Think about it, you're in the union, making $18/hour you get to be outside all day. You never actually touch the garbage because you would have thick work gloves on.

But best of all, you get a big fuck off steel crushing truck.

I'm now focusing on radio brodcasting...
(Human, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:24, Reply)

School Career Decisions
I remember filling in a rather annoying form in high school. It was basically multiple choice and you had to grade them yourself

e.g - are you good with old people
A) - yes B) No C) NO D) hell no

etc..

It was then put into a 'supercomputer' which evaluated a career for me. I ended up with..

Fence erector.

Needless to say, the next few times we had to do this shit, I changed my DESIRED occupation from Factory worker to Hitman, private assassin or Government black ops spy.

They never bothered me again.

* Incidentally, I'm on the dole.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:23, Reply)

I am still a child
therefore i can still have ambitions, my ambition right now is to actually see an answer from apeloverage worthy of the 'best of', and that isn't voted for by his nineteen hundred alts.

regulars, click 'i like this' and maybe it will actually happen.... we hope.

Length? smaller than some, larger than apeloverage's.. true for this message too.
(Justforyou love., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:15, Reply)

Porn Star
Sorry for the lack of length.
It was my downfall.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Thu 29 Mar 2007, 20:07, Reply)

An astronaut.

Because im fucking normal.
(abignumber, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:59, Reply)

ice cream
when I was 3 years old, apparently when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I responded with "an ice cream man" (sounds like a top idea for a 3 year old as obviously you can gorge your self on free ice cream all day long and get paid)

However being 3 and quite new to speaking I pronounced 'man' as 'van'.

Since this time I have been reminded of wanting to be 'an ice cream van' at every family party and at least 3 times a year in the privacy of my parents house...
(neildeal, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:58, Reply)

Rock star!
I didn't see why I couldn't be a rock star like Billy Squier or David Lee Roth, etc.

However, I am all thumbs on the guitar, I have some from-birth hearing loss that resulted in my not being able to hear or pronounce vowels correctly or recognize keys, I'm butt-crack ugly and my dance moves can only be described as "epileptic."

So I sit on the internet and degrade my artistic abilities in front of millions (okay, thousands (hundreds?))
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:57, Reply)

My earliest childhood ambition
Ive just remembered my earliest childhood ambition; I wanted to be a shopkeeper and sell trolls!

My boyfriend wanted to be a policeman, so his parents bought him a policeman set, he handcuffed his little sister to the bed and left her.

This reminds me of that advert for the wahing up powder last year with the little girl who wanted to be a penguin!
(purplefairy, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:56, Reply)

Kangaroos and sluts
My sister, like no win no fee, also wanted to grow up to be a kangaroo. She used to practice hopping about the kitchen daily until she didn't grow a tail.

As for me, I was destined for better things! I decided that when I got old I wanted to be a stripper. This meant I could have baths, which I enjoyed, and it was a good way to meet lots of men.

I'm now studying animation with my clothes on.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:54, Reply)

Ballet dancer, Vet, Fighter Pilot, Writer
First of all when I was about 5 I wanted to be a ballet dancer, but I grew too tall (and I was crap at dancing too).

Then when I got a bit older I wanted to be a vet but I wasn’t much good at chemistry – however, funnily enough I did spent the last few years living on a farm and discovered I am actually very good with farm animals, and would have made a good vet….
Sort of a shame that I left the farmer I suppose….


Then I wanted to fly fighter planes for either the RAF or the USAF – I even applied to both but the RAF wouldn’t take me for flying due to the fact I’m short-sighted and no good at physics….

It took me until I was well into my twenties to give up on the idea….
or was it just the uniform I was into….?


Then I thought I’d like to be a journalist as I loved writing stories at school, but someone told me I’d have to do Latin and I gave that up after a year so my dreams of journalism went up in smoke…sort of…
I now get paid to write a column in a magazine and I’m writing my first novel….it just took me a hell of a round about way to get here…..
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:38, Reply)

Fear of death hindered my plans as a child...
First of all I wanted to be a fighter pilot on an aircraft carrier until I realised that sometimes the plane overran the landing strip and ended up in the water along with the fresh corpse of it's pilot.

Next, I decided that I wanted to be an astronaut until I saw footage of the Challenger disaster and realised that exploding into a ball of flames wasn't how I wanted to go either.

I then decided I wanted to be flithy rich and alive, I stuck by that statement until about two years ago when I fancied trying my hand at Journalism. Now i'm nearing the end of my first year of a three year course in said subject and i'm seriously intrested in being a war reporter. That means i'll not be flithy rich or alive...fine by me.

*Insert crude joke about size of penis here*
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 19:28, Reply)

shattered dreams.
i wanted to be a Jedi.


Lucas you cunt!
( Gerbilinafishtank Gerbil in a fish tank...TURTLE POWER!, Thu 29 Mar 2007, 18:56, Reply)