Hello Fatsoes. JMG here.
I've been out with Of*l**e Gi**. Shocking.

What have I missed tonight. Undoubtedly somebody lost an ounce and celebrated by starting a thread. You guys.
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:35, archived)

Fuck off

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:35, archived)

Oh Esme :(
Why the hatred.

You've found me funny before.

Sad face.
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:36, archived)

lol cock pics?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:37, archived)

As yourself, not lolJMGparody
That's nearly as shit as the man himself.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:38, archived)

I wanted to see if people would notice

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:39, archived)

If it didn't say Friz at the bottom, it's basically a JMG post.
I'm sure he's funny or maybe he used up all of his wit on the memes he created for himself.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:40, archived)

I'm fucking bored of it, anyway,

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:42, archived)

So must all the people who popular paged cr3's posts about him.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:45, archived)

Tell me more.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:47, archived)

Like, did he have a car?

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:50, archived)

cr3 just posted about how he used to be funny.
Enough people clicked it.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:53, archived)

Oh. I thought there was scandal.
Gay.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:54, archived)

I'm going to have sex with you now

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:45, archived)

I'm the world's most polite rapist, you see

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:45, archived)

Oh, I see.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:51, archived)

GUESS WHAT

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:40, archived)

GO ON, GUESS

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:41, archived)

A GIANT PENIS?

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:41, archived)

YOU'RE REALLY A WOMAN

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:41, archived)

I'M TOTALLY NOT REALLY A WOMAN
I TOTALLY AM SMOKING A 100% GENUINE REAL CIGARETTE THOUGH

RIGHT NOW
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:45, archived)

INDOORS?
YOU DISGUST ME
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:46, archived)

lololol

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:46, archived)

oh man, I'm so cool
I unlocked the gold van upgrade

www.addictinggames.com/D78AQSAKQLQWI9/5173.swf
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:48, archived)

What kind of action can i do in touching mode and les mode?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:49, archived)

Fucking paedophiles.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:50, archived)

They're all fucking immature arseholes

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:51, archived)

smathels is a paedophile shitcunt

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:58, archived)

Yep.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:00, archived)

Why am I not getting any point on the second mission?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:02, archived)

Ahh I think I realise now.
I was just being a fat spastic.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:06, archived)

missile launchers dude
missile launchers paste the shit out of those ambulance bastards
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:07, archived)

You cunt.
I smoked all of mine. I hate you.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:46, archived)

DOES HE HAVE A MOUSTACHE?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:43, archived)

I just had lemon tart and spring rolls left over from the meeting before
the sweet taste of free finger food
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:36, archived)

whenever there's a table full of buffet crap for a client meeting
I endeavour to cough over it and wipe bogies across the biscuits

there's a good chance someone in your workplace does the same
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:40, archived)

and here I thought they were green sprinkles

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:47, archived)

It's 4am. What the fuck do you think you're doing?

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:58, archived)

Watching Jekyll
And fucking melting
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:59, archived)

Woah
photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs034.snc1/3264_179701355194_704390194_6719164_1557094_n.jpg
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:02, archived)

Fucking sick.

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:03, archived)

batman more like fatman

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:05, archived)

ZING.

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:07, archived)

1001 posts.
Well done me.
( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 4:07, archived)

So yer, I'm going to 'beachdown'
Has anyone ever heard of 'beachdown'? I've not heard anything about 'beachdown' but I'm going to 'beachdown'. I hope 'beachdown' is as good as it sounds. Any of you ever been to 'beachdown'? 'beachdown'
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:30, archived)

What the fuck is beachdown?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:33, archived)

I want more fags and booze,
Tonight is shit.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:34, archived)

'beachdown' is a music festival in brighton.
'beachdown'
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:34, archived)

Oh. Right.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:36, archived)

@Esme
let's not start this again
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:29, archived)

@mike
oh hai lol
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:28, archived)

Its my 1st b3ta birthday :)
how time flies
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:21, archived)

If it's your birthday where's the candle.
YOU BIG FAT LIAR.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:23, archived)

I can see a candle!
Oi I'm big and fat but not a liar !
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:29, archived)

no icon = no candle
no candle = NO CONGRATULATIONS, SKINFLINT BANDWIDTH WASTER
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:31, archived)

Why can only I
see the candle on my profile?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:33, archived)

because you haven't donated yet
you fucking money-grubbing jewprick
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:35, archived)

you fucking money-grubbing jewprick
aww bless you
Thats the nicest thing anyone has said to me in ages.

Hasnt a fecking clue how all this works ;)
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:37, archived)

Does this work?
[IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/51sm6e.jpg[/IMG]
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:35, archived)

face facts here, you're a born lurker
let's not battle genetics now
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:38, archived)

I love you
Gilgamesh have my babies, at least 8 if you can bear it :)


i43.tinypic.com/51sm6e.jpg
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:40, archived)

you know what, I bet someone clicks that link

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:41, archived)

if they do
they will see my...................



















candle
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:43, archived)

Fuck.

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:44, archived)

Fuck? what kind of girl do you think Iam?
buy me a drink first at least
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:47, archived)

I can't afford it - I'm scummy.

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:51, archived)

Damn
If you had said you were scrummy I'd have passed on the drink.

Guess I have to lie down for Gilgamesh now
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:54, archived)

oooh Gilgamesh has uniform
drools over dapper chap
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:58, archived)

really shouldn't have bothered

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:24, archived)

I want fags.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:28, archived)

wow, that's GREAT!
now who the fuck are you again?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:28, archived)

who am I?
an insignificant little low life piece of scum, thats me
and proud dammit
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:32, archived)

Just Harry needs to stop thinking of giant penises
It's just not healthy.

HOW ARE YOU ALL AT 2.20AM?
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:20, archived)

i am all at 2.20AM
you don't know what i'm thinking of! you bastard! on the internet!

i really need help if i'm going to flounce about this properly
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:22, archived)

All you can think of
Right now






are giant penises
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:24, archived)

did you ever work out
what you were thinking about?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:40, archived)

A giant penis

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:54, archived)

some people are so
single minded
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:12, archived)

I'm on call and bored shitless

( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:23, archived)

I'm sneezing an awful lot

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:24, archived)

Swine Flu!
you are going to die
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:24, archived)

Topical

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)

well yes
we have kits in the car for testing people
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)

Shit me
Come test me
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:29, archived)

could be a bit of a delay getting to you
very inconsiderate of me living in Ireland but there you go.
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:32, archived)

TIRED!

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:24, archived)

I passed out at 8pm
Woke up about 1am. Watched two episodes of Coupling.

My life's amazing.
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)

truly we all watch you with envious eyes

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:29, archived)

I need to get my fucking life together
/having a crisis ONLINE
(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:30, archived)

eat more crisps
that will help
( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:32, archived)

but only cheese and onion

( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:33, archived)

I'VE NO CRISPS

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:40, archived)

shave bits off yur big toe
and fry them
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:43, archived)

fantastic

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:24, archived)

EXCELLENT

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)

i know i am!
how're you?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)

I said fantastic, DRUNKARD

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:33, archived)

watching horror films that aren't really horror
bless the 50's
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:45, archived)

I have a box of haribo giant strawbs and a box of haribo giant cola bottles
life is good

nyom
( parttimedogfish, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:50, archived)

i remember when i was a kid in france having smurf haribo and that they were the best things ever

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:56, archived)

They were made from real smurfs
knowing the french.
( RedStar returneth, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:20, archived)

Hot, bothered
and now thinking of giant penises , penii?
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 3:22, archived)

20 questions
i'm thinking of an object...blah blah blah you probably get the idea
i shall only accept the first 20 replies as questions i will answer( yes or no or a bit of a clue if i'm feeling gerenous)

also: how are you and when was the last time you had some great fist pumping the air high fives awesome fun?


edit: should i mention it might be hard for me in a semi drunk state to keep track of all the replies in this thread so it might be best if you put guesses or questions as new replies to the thread
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:04, archived)

Is it a giant penis

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:06, archived)

no

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

QUESTION 2. Is it a Giant penis?

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:15, archived)

that's not question 2
silly friz
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)

Question 3. Is it a giant penis?

(__, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:19, archived)

is it a vegetable?

( masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:06, archived)

It must be a HUGE electronic carrot.
coz he never answered you.
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)

it isn't a vegetable or an electronic carrot
my reply has disappeared
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:18, archived)

Its a sky remote control
aicmfp
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

no
but it is something electronic
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

a video recorder

( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:08, archived)

Is it C3-PO?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:09, archived)

Would putting your dick on it be frowned upon?

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

yes

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

Is it the Queen Mother's forehead?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:08, archived)

DOING IT WRONG.

( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:15, archived)

hehe

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:08, archived)

Are you intangible?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:08, archived)

no
you can tang me any time you want
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:09, archived)

Is it inexplainable?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:10, archived)

no

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:10, archived)

Can it be percieved?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:10, archived)

or indeed conceived

( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:10, archived)

it's not called percy

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:10, archived)

you are 'guitar hero'

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:10, archived)

on a java equipped mobile phone
and therefore shit.
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:12, archived)

don't have a poncey phone
don't play stupid games

so i wouldn't know..
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:14, archived)

I have seen that abomination of a game on an iphone
I looked at the owner as you would look upon somebody who actually thought it was a cool thing to have on phone.
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:16, archived)

do blunts make you puke?
edit: clearly your 20 questions are far different than ours.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:13, archived)

I had a big tubo cigar that made me sick once.
True story.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:15, archived)

Taught me not eat cigars.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:15, archived)

i don't know if they do
as for the 20 questions it's something i carry around with me most days
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)

i.d.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:19, archived)

nope

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:26, archived)

1) do you want to stay alive?
2) DO YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE?
3) how long before he dies hanging upside down?
4) i'm going out for a coffee anybody want something (when i get back IT dies)?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)

TANKS! TANKS WITH FUCKING WINGS!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

hello
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:17, archived)

hello gilgamesh
i'm not scared of tanks with wings
i have submarines with lasers
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:19, archived)

Pretty sure I could design something that doesn't work.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:19, archived)

it takes true failgenius to put wings on a fucking tank

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:21, archived)

tankettes?
do they come with a mimsy and an astonishing rack?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:39, archived)

I dont have any hair to get cut
but, i do have an extraordinarily long penis**


What do you have right now?







**not really
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:02, archived)

Sweat.
The ability to think up amusing replies. This was one.
( Ttssattsr, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:03, archived)

I have The Sting on itv4
and a cup of tea.
( masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:03, archived)

it's long
but that's nothing extraordinary, after all we've all got long penises/peni/penis-ses/penix?
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:05, archived)

this may be true
but it also depends where that penis actually is.
( TBL I posted this on, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

the feeling i might vomit but i don't know why
my throat is a bit off right now
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:06, archived)

Should I get me hair cut?
It's sorta long like shoulder length. Should I get it cut short or stick to what i got? I'm worried I'd look like a twat.
(Meatfish BAH, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:02, archived)

You are a twat.
No need to worry.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:08, archived)

With Karl here.
Twat.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:10, archived)

I've got gorgeous locks of hair down to my shoulders :(

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:12, archived)

TBH
I think I'm gonna keep it fairly long, maybe trim it up a bit. If I was gonna go short I'd rather do it gradually than suddenly in one big go
(Meatfish BAH, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:14, archived)

Excellent, well you can delete this thread now.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:20, archived)

a friend of mine kept his hair long because he was soo worried about becoming bald
once he did become bald his doctor* blamed it on the added weight

*may have been into voodoo
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:33, archived)

whose are they?

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:01, archived)

@Karl
Can you believe how much of a twat Meatfish is?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:13, archived)

NO BODY ASKED YOUR OPINION
.
(Meatfish BAH, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:14, archived)

Except for that time some twat asked a message board for their opinions on his twat hair.
There was that time.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:16, archived)

@meatfish
to be fair
you are a twat
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:34, archived)

UNNECESSARY PERIOD IN THE MESSAGE BOX

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:20, archived)

can i misread this
as UNNECESSARY PERIOD IN A MESSY BOX
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:06, archived)

@JackAction
Seriously? No.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:14, archived)

buzz it all off

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:15, archived)

I had a hair cut once.
It was rubbish, never again.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:23, archived)

Which hair did they cut?

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:23, archived)

The hair on my head.
I'm completely hairless everywhere else, smooth like JMG's head.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:25, archived)

Yes, but which one?
There's lots of hairs there.
( WHARRGARBL, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:27, archived)

what?!!
not shaved in stripes over a tattoo of 'i love mum'
above the legend 'we;ll win something.. one day'
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:42, archived)

shave it all off on one side
then you'll be able to compare it properly
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:28, archived)

use bobby pins
the ones with flowers.. you'll look great
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:30, archived)

aw

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:31, archived)

hey babes
how you? over here it's been high 20's and all the locals freak out
no idea of proper heat
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:38, archived)

cor blimey
I'm good, just submitted my first story to literotica, it's been around 35 here and can only get hottahhh

how are you?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 1:48, archived)

cor! good luck with that
i'm meeting up with dennis cooper tomorrow (a friend of popy z brite) he's a cool guy and writes amazing fiction
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:07, archived)

give him a swat on the bum from me

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:15, archived)

will do
just read 'The Show That Smells' interseting take on vampires
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 2:42, archived)

Goodnight!
FAKE ASS NIGGAS
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

Likewise,
SPURIOUSLY POSTERIORED WOOFTY.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

Goodnight you old bot botherer.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

Fine, don't be here for two and a half hours
and just pop your head round the door to say goodbye. Honestly, you treat this place like a hotel.
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

you should always get your niggas from a reputable retailer

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

:)

( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

GOODNIGHT SNAKE STUFFER
I have a sweaty neck. Who else has a sweaty neck?
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:46, archived)

I have sweaty eyes, if that helps.
NOW... TO BED...
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:48, archived)

what's this fake ass nigga thing?
What drama has unfolded this time?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

You need to listed to more Onyx.
Best. Song titles. Ever.
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:55, archived)

Do I need to listen to it or just read the song titles?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:58, archived)

Reading the song titles is enough.
There are some good songs there though. Blac Vagina Finda isn't great, but Nigga Bridges is super.
( Druid, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:04, archived)

I am massively against racism,
even when it is done by those who it is aimed at.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:08, archived)

Don't listen to Bichasniguz then.
Verily, it may be prudent to avoid Da Nex Niguz too.
( Druid, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:11, archived)

Although I believe it's one of only two rap songs with the word oesophagus in it.
Gangsta.
( Druid, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:23, archived)

I've only ever heard the word osteoporosis used in one rap song.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:36, archived)

I'm genuine innit.
Regulate.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

fo'real

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:05, archived)

which one are you?
www.cracked.com/article_17522_6-new-personality-disorders-caused-by-internet.html

i know which is jmc
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:06, archived)

omg lets judge each other omg so fun

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:08, archived)

whos's your favourite b3tan
*pukes*
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)

Gilgamesh.
Where is he? He and I are good chums now.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)

he sleeps in 4 hour cycles
i imagine he'll be around about 2
or as he likes to call it ' when most of the scum fuckoff '
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:26, archived)

I intend to still be here.
I'm really excited, he might call me dull or a cunt or something. It's going to be great banter.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:28, archived)

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
Shove a cunting pipe up your shit hole and plumb it directly into your mouth, nobody will be able to tell in which direction the shit is moving.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:12, archived)

just pass the pipe
numbnuts
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:14, archived)

Was that explosive enough?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:16, archived)

7/10
needs more random uncalled for condescending (see jmg for tips)
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:22, archived)

Cunt in training here.
Should I try and get more fatty comments in there?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:27, archived)

not really
it seems the only person to mention fat fatty and the like
is the geordie himself

i'm not saying she protests too much but it is curious
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:31, archived)

DOVESTON SMOKES CRACK

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:17, archived)

Probably,
I have noticably fewer teeth these days.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:20, archived)

you need to stop biting down soo hard on the pipe

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:24, archived)

SMOKES LICKS BUM
( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:27, archived)

Shut up brown tongue!

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:30, archived)

I'm number 3.
Bou, I would say is number 2.

In oh so many ways.

See what I did there?

No?

/coat.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:21, archived)

Are you STILL upset at JMG?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:26, archived)

no
why?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:36, archived)

You seem to mention him an awful lot.
Several times in this sub thread, in fact.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:38, archived)

really he hasn't come up since i guess
the sunday twitter thing

i could have typed gonz or ssg (peace be upon him) but as he's always here and such a popular figure i thought it
might entice people into clicking the link
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:43, archived)

I'm only half fake

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 1 Jul 2009, 0:19, archived)

have you followed through today?
I know I have. :(
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

NEVER

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

In public? Did you have to do the sly 'I'm just going to the toilet - I was going to go even before that fart followed by
horrible shit smell anyway' walk?
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

thankfully, I was at home
I was even sat on a towel as I'd just gotten out of the shower.

I farted and then I thought 'hang on, that felt far too squishy and warm'.
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

Are you looking forward to norkyhugs next weekend?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

YES.
I am. I'm also hoping for pie and bacons and lovely beers please.
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

No but it was a close call
when I attempted to guffbeak some people in Tesco today.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

How would you deal with a followthrough in a social situation?`

( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

blame it on the boogie

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

I would remove my trousers
and wipe my arse with a small child.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Let's say you're with the Royal family, and there are no children about.
Who would you wipe your arse on?
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

The Queen or a passing corgi.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

It'd try to bite your bollocks.
And so would the corgi lololololololllolololol and then I got off the bus
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

Snappy little fuckers for sure.
A hard punch on the back of the neck renders them unconcious. Same as the corgis really.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

I reckon QE2 is filthy in bed. I bet she loves it up the Balmoral.

( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:52, archived)

I'm sure Phil is partial to the odd badly packed kebab.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:54, archived)

Prince Charles' Cock
Obviously
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

Anthony

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:41, archived)

what is this guffbeaking of which you speak?

(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:42, archived)

A sport invented by baldmonkey himself
whereby you attempt to break wind in public places and gain a point for each gurn you witness.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

You dirty, dirty bastard.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

:(

(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

i have remained quite continent

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

That is a shame :(
I haven't, but there's a first time for everything.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

*attention seeking new post*

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

@baldmonkey
How is that any different to the rest of us?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

A bit should fit your horse’s mouth so that the mouthpiece extends approximately 1/4 inch (0.6 cm) beyond the horse’s lips on either side, but not so tight that the horse might be pinched by any movable cheek pieces. You also don’t want a great length of bit hanging out of the horse’s mouth. The different parts of the mouthpieces on bits are made to sit on specific areas of the mouth. So for the bit to be effective, the bit needs to contact those areas properly. You also don’t want the bit pulling through the horse’s mouth when you pull on a rein.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

I'm that kid from Equus,
so you don't want to tell me what I should or shouldn't do to a horse.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

I'm going to have a smoke.
Cloudy lemonade is the best.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

Damn your Chlamydiade to hell, Sir
Ting is the master of fizz
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

I had TING the other day and felt they missed out on a JamaiCAN pun

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:49, archived)

Bass! how low can you go?
Death row. what a brother knows.
Once again, back is the incredible
The thyme animal
The incredible d, public enemy number one
Five-o said, freeze! and I got numb
Can I tell em that I really never had a gun?
But its the wax that the terminator x spun
Now they got me in a cell cause my records, they sell
cause a brother like me said, well...
...frarrakhans a prophet and I think you ought to listen to
What he can say to you, what you ought to do.
Follow for now, power of the people, say,
Make a miracle, d, pump the lyrical
Black is back, all in, were gonna win
Check it out, yeah yall, here we go again

When did you last turn it up and/or bring the noise?
( ArthurTheRat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Listening to Kids by MGMT on my ipod this morning

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

I'm going to reply because that song is awesome.

( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:50, archived)

Do you "post" regularly?
How's your fibre intake.

What do you eat? Are you unhealthy and thin or an obese healthy eater?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

You a FAKE ASS NIGGA.

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

I post daily.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

Who would you rather see post regularly?
Me or Carowallis?

Be honest now.
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

Who?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

Top five fart foods!

Eat these foods to guarantee the stinkiest guffs!

1. Cheese

2. Eggs

3. Curry

4. Sprouts

5. Cabbage!

Mix them up for some interesting smells!

Keep it TOXIC!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

slightly nearer the top.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

Yes, it's a status ailment because it makes you unable to eat untill the effect wares off. Just be happy hes healing you and kamakaze the monsters!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

If I masturbated every time you say something that doesn't make sense,
I'd have a withered stump where my penis should be.

Man, I never understand you/
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:22, archived)

I'm wacky,.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

I'd whack you

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

Near the top.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

I don't know many names off by heart.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:31, archived)

JMG must have posted 38 minutes ago.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

Obviously

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

i am very, very indifferent

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

THEN Y R U REPLYIN LOL
/pre-empting inevitable responses since 1986
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

Not really
Eastys response was entirely relevant
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

That's as maybe, but some tit with a room-temperature IQ would have failed to realise this and posted that knee-jerk response anyway.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

You sort of posted it
so nyer
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

i haven't seen different about in ages

( spacefish bong!, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

feels good man

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

It's the most exciting debate of our times

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:32, archived)

We are talking brown envelopes...
...discretion assured?
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

Is that Lincoln lard licker still here?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:33, archived)

I enjoyed that show mongy was on about.
Cheers, mongy.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

no worries, they are funny lads

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

What Show?
The Good Old Days?
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Carowallis used to make pictures, you do fuck all
i'd say her
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

squeeky13 should come back
and do something to get banned each week
( weaver., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:34, archived)

That chubby cunt?
From Kendal? Ryan Bury?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

He was funny.
Well, I say he was funny, I mean he made me laugh.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

His threat was best
The chubby GAY cunt
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

I don't like your profile.
So, carowatsits.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

I meant to update it, actually
how is it now?
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

It doesn't tell me much about you.
Needs more pipe smoking.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

I haven't read Robert Rankin in years
but I still occasionally get Sprout newsletters
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Not seen her name round here for a while

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Neither please.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

I have vague memories of her. She was nice.
I have no preference to be honest.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

what?????? this tedious little wanker knocked up a girl and run away from it, caro posted pictures of fruit with eyes

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Hmm. Except he didn't.
I am retaining my original opinion. It would be nice if they both posted. I don't like this idea that I have to choose.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

meh, it's not much of a choice, he did act the twat, that is good enough for me

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

either of you as long as there is variation in the content of your respective musings

(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

you're a wanker

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Make up your mind, sweetie

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

you're a wanker

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

you're a wanker

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

you're a wanker

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

you're a wanker
you're a wanker
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

Electric Light Orchestra.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

perhaps performing the final song from A New World Record
Shangri-La
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

im filling in a form for my duke of edinburgh award
"how did you review your progress and achievements?"

lolwut?
( weaver., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

tell them you kept a diary of how you improved as a person

(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

draw a pitcure of you
and then draw a picture of you with a beard

leave a foot note as "hair indicates experience"
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

pffft
:D
( weaver., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Also commonly you will see hairy chests adorned with gold medallions, GOLD AWARD

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

use feedback from ebay

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

who are you
?
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

Some wanker.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

MASSIVE WANKER
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

I like Carowallis. We had lots of chat in Huddersfield years ago.
I don't like you. You set fire to an ash tray and got thrown out of the pub before I arrived.

So not you.
( Druid, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Settled!
And without any tedious "but on the other hand, tits!" trumpery.

Astounding
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

Hello nerds. Internet success JMG is here.
Who's tonight's wound up user?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)

I would like to discuss augmented reality and it's implications on modern society.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)

No time for you right now SpottyGuy.
Please hold.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

The research is still pending.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

Go on then

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

you start

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Fucking conspiracy theorists.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:05, archived)

Apparently July is fun time.
i'm too busy to care
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:08, archived)

You do realise you're just meat, right?
spotify:track:6CaVciSYjRcIkikTjlEall

:)
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)

going now, sleep well

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

We had a clear winner over on board.
www.b3ta.com/board/9555466
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)

LORDY!
Larks and debate on the colouring in board!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

It's a shame I wasn't there.
I'd have been a welcome and correct viewpoint.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)

I bet he likes all the squirrels with tits and tracings of shit emo bands.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

Nah.
Probably more a fan of tracings of squirrel tits.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:09, archived)

Not me JMG
Work are having a sports day thing tomorrow. In the local mugging spot around shepherds bush (a park round there). I might have to bring a sick note in from mum, or at least get somebody to forge one for me.
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)

I'll be supervising the women's trampolining.
In Stetson.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)

There was an actual flood in the women's changing room at work today JMG.
Some fat lads turned up to clean it up BEFORE the call had been put out.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:06, archived)

I've got a key in my bum
does that count?
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)

I'm fuckin' riled.
RAWL! Bloody house, it'll never stay tidy.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)

there's an oxymoron in your post
"internet success"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:04, archived)

no you're an oxymoron!

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:07, archived)

Someone was going to say it.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:07, archived)

10 o'clock bbc4 the chaser's war on everything
www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25682522-10229,00.html

very very funny

or it was, new series
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

that looks tedious
now i shall rape your son's mouth
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)

another tedious nonce on b3ta, what a suprise
why don't you fucking sick freaks just fuck off to another nonce site
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

your daughter has a sexy anus
spotify:track:0RAbniM9Lb1f0r7xmN9dpT
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

you honestly disgust me
i think i hate you nonces worse than jews, i'm putting you on ignore now
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

stillwanking over yor kiddsz\

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

that's unnecessary

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

im gonna spoil that nylon,..
oh fuuuuuuuckskks
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

i've just come over his daughter in that white t-shirt

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

that one of her in the ttshirtx

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

what would b3ta be without tedious nonces?
50% smaller. that's what.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)

probably, but the thing about dekion is he is just a proper rubbish nonce, he is dull and unfunny in all his posts

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)

cleaning up now

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

I've only seen brief clips of Chaser's war on Everything
But I love this cover of Cannibal Corpse's Rancid Amputation to bits - www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1LG_R9j2sw
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)

The new All Time Low album is shit.
Whoever told me I'd like it is a fucking cunt.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)

If I could find the freeview remote, I'd watch it.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

hmmmm
ca you stream bbc on iplayer or is it just per program?
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

PODCASTACULAR!
I finally have a piece of software that does podcasts in a non-shit fashion (amarok 2.1) but all I'm finding is podcasts of people talking shite. are there any with musics? Tell me, TELL ME NOW!
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

i'm guessing your mother was an albino spastic who fucked dogs

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

^made me laugh

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

it made me sad

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:27, archived)

with sexy results

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)

Dunno
Soz mate
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

I'm sorry too
but I forgive you
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)

No worries

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

Rock N Roll Jew is good
errrr
I don't listen to many else
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

back in my day we didn't have podcasts with music
we just, you know, turned on the radio, or listened to albums.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

or listen to the archers.
du da du da du da du da du daaa du da du da du daaa daaaa.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:26, archived)

The archers rocks
I listened to it the other day, somebody threw someone out of a car and someone lost a cow

I think so anyway, I wasn't really paying attention
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

are you going to the Rankin boat party?
If so I may say hello. getting tickets on fri.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:33, archived)

Yeah, I'm considering it.
I'm trying to convince a chum to go, but I may go by myself. Is there a b3ta contingent going?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)

should be
dunno tho. there are enough fans on here. either stick it on the calendar yerself or i'll do it in the morning. me n the missus are both b3tans, so you're welcome to come with.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)

Pirate dress very much recommended.
I need to buy a parrot.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)

It can be acquired.
Parrot too.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)

there used to be
before the man clamped down on that shit ... dawg.
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:25, archived)

what's the point in that then
?
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:28, archived)

I use it mainly for catching up with talk radio*
the rest of it tends to be bobbins.

*meaning radio 4 type stuff
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

I like a bit of radio4
particularly on a sunday

I like to listen to gardeners question time and pretend I have a garden
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

I'm in the garden now by the pond
it is lovely out here.

wesley the cat is circling around. He'll be hunting soon.....
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)

A fellow on here does some.
lastnightadjkilledmydog.libsyn.com/

He's got an eclectic taste in music too, so it's usually interesting.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:29, archived)

these are good, I have about seven on my ipod I think

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

I like the Solid Steel podcasts.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:31, archived)

THIS IS NOT THE LINKS BOARD
This film looks ace
www.youtube.com/watch?v=leGWB8Fc9A4
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

I'd rather discuss Charlie Kauffman's latest opus
it was shit
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Do you mean, 'Synecdoche, New York'?
Yes, twas raaaaaaaaaaaaather laboured, twasn't it?
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Twas.

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

i can't youtube on this relic
so anyway, fuck the links shit let's chat about chicks, man i love chicks, and bivvys, and fishing, great times
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Never mind that old shit, I want to hear about air con.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Great film

( mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

oh my shitty christ, con air is a play on air con

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

Consider my mind, blown

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

Here is my aircon, on my favorite setting at this time of the year.
I think it's an LG.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

that is a nice display, is it on the unit?

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

Yup.
It's quite fancy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:30, archived)

it's air con tastic at the moment in london
when will people realise comfort cooling is not aircon, honestly, it's a fancoil unit, it's 30 degrees out there, it can't cope, get a split unit if you want aircon, a nice vrv
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

How's the fishing going?
I went to a lake the other day, saw some people fishing, good times.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

so far this season has been a bit poor, i'm after the big old girl of 42lbs
she hasn't been out for 2 years and the lake only has about 16-18 carp in it and is weedy as hell, had a couple of twenties out from another lake but the chase continues this weekend
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

I saw the man who bought a load of lakes the other day
He said business is going so well he needn't work for the rest of the year if he doesn't want to. I think he will though.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

Best of luck.
I caught some fish once. The biggest one was 6lbs...shame on me.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:24, archived)

nothing wrong with small fish
think my biggest was 11lb or so. I liked catching roach the best, and tench.
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)

all good fish, a lovely 2lb roach is a treat

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)

I just had a chick here
she's gone now, but she left walking as if she was trying to hold a beer barrel between her knees.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

ricketts eh? sad times

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

this looks better.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=51kFPa6DUDk

GC, whatever.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

PREPARE TO DIE, BASTAD

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

How can a sword make a shotgun explode?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

Ah, young Russell San
You are unwise in the ways of the ninja
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:22, archived)

Awwww.
caucasian girl wants to be samurai with Hanzo sword.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)

I saw this on You tube today and I liked it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtGQgSY9Nn4
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

how do you politely tell people in the flat above you
to stop shagging at 11pm-6am with the headboard banging against the wall and her screaming?

The other residents here are pissed off and have bought earplugs, but we want to be diplomatic.

Go up to their door, leave a letter asking to keep the human noise down, what would YOU do?
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

You just have.
Sorry
( mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

Wait outside their door and hod up scorecards in the manner of figure skating judges when they emerge.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

Knock on the door and diplomatically ask them to turn it down a bit.
Obviously not while they're shagging, or else the response may well be less than civilised.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

but,
It's the sound of them shagging that's disturbing him.
( mnb098mnb used to be here, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Have a shag-off.
Scream louder, bang harder.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

This method gets results

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

Drill a hole in the floor and poke your cock through it

( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Or when they finish shout "can I have a go now?"

( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

And learn to levitate?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

scream and moan in time with them

( weaver., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

I'd probably leave a note under the door
'Hi, could you please keep the noise down between 11pm and 6am, as it keeps us awake. Sorry for any offence.'
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

I put "could you keep the 'human' noise down a little,
the walls aren't as thick as you may think. Cheers'

I dunno, maybe people on here had to put up with it. If it was drum and bass, fair enough but I dunno.
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

People in the house next door in Pompey seemed to be auditioning for the Noisy Shagging Olympics
Then complained to us when a housemate had a noisy whatever-psychotic-condition-she-had attack at 7pm. Probably because they were missing Eastenders.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

The couple next door to me are occasionally noisy.
I just listen to the radio for 10-15 minutes. If I complained it'd mean I couldn't have sex without being a hypocrit.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

to the radio for
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

It doesn't bother me normally, sometimes it's quite funny if I have friends over
I thought this too. Maybe if it bothers me more at 5am I'll do something about it.
Or stand outside clappping, wearing a tuxedo and throwing roses.`
( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

I'd probably be more annoyed at that time.
The latest I've been woken up is about 1ish. Just knock on the door during their next session, oiled up and wearing a loin cloth.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

10-15 minutes?
Sucks to be them.
(AyeMe, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

There is always a point when something like that gets really annoying
Try with a polite note under the door, the longer you leave it the more difficult it will be.
( magnum, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

Go upstairs and tell them that someone is having really loud sex in their bed, and that they should probably call the police.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

Say things like 'heard them coming'

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Go and ask to borrow their copy of 'When Harry Met Sally', you know, the one you guys keep playing every night?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

ha! I like this

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

have a wank

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

pretend it's bumming

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:18, archived)

Wank on their door and leave a sincere apologetic note blue-tacked just above the stain

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

Just tell them
suggest they move the head board away from the wall. I did this with my next door neighbours. It was fun because the both blushed :oD
( jenpots, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

Play the grandstand theme full pelt when they are making the most noise
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qf9qi8Q1tg&feature=related
( MrA, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

merciful allah, this is an excellent idea

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

When I complained about my neighbours noise she retorted with a note saying she didn't look forward to when my girlfriend visitted
I made the mistake of telling her
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:15, archived)

Confront the guy on his own and tell him
that you heard sex noises coming from their flat during the day. You wouldn't want to be crass, but you were concerned because you usually only hear it at night between 11pm and 6pm and you only remember because it keeps you awake, so it really stood out when you heard orgasmic screaming on the kitchen floor at lunchtime. You know, because you're a concerned neighbour and everything.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:21, archived)

pffft

( moohalaa, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

A scottish ninja?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)