Today is the actual proper day of sunand it's a belter outside
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 9:00,
archived)
Today is the day of sun.I get to use our new big paella pan calor gas thing to cook so I don't have to fiddle about with charcoal, already bought all my barbecue stuff, got a book to read and no work to do. Anyone got any real plans or just slobbing in gardens?
(, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 8:54, archived)
Managed to not get too drunk last night, now facing a Saturday without a hangover, I'm frightened of this strange new world(
broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 9:29,
archived)
A candle!enjoy your day of internet fame
(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 10:53,
archived)
thank youdo I get loyalty points or something?
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 11:04,
archived)
Today I'll be mostly loling at internet cowards who take themselves too seriouslye.g. Cheers has put me on ignore for calling out his pathetic bullying attempts and his pro-racism behaviour.
Who's next?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 14:11,
archived)
I'm not advocating for celebrating not being racist, or looking for plaudits for not being racist, if that was the point you were trying to make by posting a meme.Please don't lose sight of the fact that this started because a racist made a joke about killing n-words.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 19:59,
archived)
Your perception of what is going on here is flawed. As has been pointed out several times before, this was a joke on a forum where no-one takes anything seriously. It may not have been a particularly funny joke, it was possibly made in the vein of being shocking or edgy, in the same way people make jokes about Madeline McCann or Joseph Fritzl (for example). What it was not was some kind of Stormfront style call to arms. You created this situation by taking things incredibly seriously, then repeatedly and sincerely telling various people to commit suicide.
You're not being bullied, like it or not you've intrinsically linked yourself with sensitivity to racism, any time something broadly related comes up people are going to think of you. Some get told everyone hates them every time they pop up, some get jokes about people shitting on their lawn, some get 'huzzah' in their replies. Lots of people have got something similar, get over it. Probably not going away any time soon either. Everyone's still banging on about Jacob Dyer and I'm pretty sure that's over 10 years old now.
(, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 23:55, archived)
Your perception is flawed because you are trying to justify all the bullying that you and your friends indulge in, and you are taking what I say seriously.You're transparent.
What is victim blaming?
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 13:30,
archived)
That doesn't sound much like loling,it sounds an awful lot more like you taking yourself far too seriously.
(, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 22:40, archived)
So someone starts a joke about you, a joke about a sincere belief you might haveand that someone is joking with someone who ostensibly hates you, and makes jokes about killing n-words. You righteously call those cunts out, and what happens? They say you're taking the attack on your person too personally. That you're taking yourself too seriously.
It's fucking bullying. You should feel utterly shit about yourself.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 22:54,
archived)
This is such a strange place for you to do this.There are so many genuinely racist forums you could join, forums that only exist to celebrate and amplify racist ideas. You know perfectly well this isn’t one of them.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 17:01,
archived)
Strange argument, considering I don't claim this is a genuinely racist forum.I really wouldn't be here if I thought it was.
It contains a network of old men whose hobby is casual racism, and who like to antagonise and bully people. They don't like to admit this to themselves, hence the 'brb klaxon', and the obvious victim blaming above. If I am a troll, or an object of ridicule, then my uncomfortable ideas can be comfortably dismissed.
Calling out racism (e.g. jokes about killing n-words) is a higher moral duty than defending your cunty mate's joke about killing n-words. Defending your cunty mate's n-word killing jokes makes you at the very least a very stupid prat, especially after the situation has been so carefully explained to you.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 23:06,
archived)
No brb. The actual situation has been very carefully explained to you several times. You are either wilfully misunderstanding it or you genuinely don't understand. Either way you are continually visiting a section of a forum where you've made enough of a dick of yourself that you've become a running joke, then verbally attacking people who make the joke, then claiming to be the victim of bullying. Your lack of self awareness would be funny if it wasn't leading you to pop up on here having a go at people. No-ones buying what you're selling, just leave.
(, Mon 19 Jul 2021, 0:01, archived)
Honestly dude, I still don’t know if you’re serious or not. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jul 2021, 0:44,
archived)
Thinking about it - either way you’re an attention-seeking dullard who adds nothing. I think I need a little rest from you. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jul 2021, 4:59,
archived)
Not quite yet over here, but it’s a technicality, we’ve both ground to a halt, so it looks like being like a half-day and a early start to the weekend. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 18:49,
archived)
alright mofaha, no idea where you're at with the whole cursed gaz situationbut I haven't received anything, so if you're wondering why I haven't responded then that's why.
(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 21:19, archived)
ffs I saw your other reply and promptly forgot, I’ll try again (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:29,
archived)
If you guys are dealing drugs it's ok to say it here, we're dark web shiz nowadays(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:38,
archived)
Fair enough. Do you know where I can get some aspirin on a Sunday afternoon? Without leaving the apartment?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 17:07,
archived)
Are you in the glorious country of CanadaOr that of our idiot neighbours to the south?
(
Lord Gnome, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 6:30,
archived)
Alright then have it your way. Idiot neighbor I’m afraid :((
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 17:15,
archived)
Hi. I noticed you making "brb alarm" jokes with the bigger boys earlier.You should grow a brain, you stupid cunt. Cheers.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 19:39,
archived)
Might I suggest you fuck off you inadequate waste of spaceCheers
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 19:47,
archived)
You might.You might also slip in the shower and bleed out while unconscious, cheers.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 21:44,
archived)
you seem to be taking this personally and you should, you’re a joke to all who have the misfortune to know you.
Feel free to reply, I won’t waste any more time acknowledging your existence you fucking jizzstain.
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 21:52,
archived)
Odd that I, brb, should take being the butt of your "brb alarm" jokes incredibly personally,you cretinous, culture warring wanker.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:56,
archived)
Stop taking yourself so seriously,I genuinely think you'll improve your quality of life.
(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 21:57, archived)
Quality of life is a lie Never let anyone else tell you what they they think you're worth
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:54,
archived)
You should stop assuming that I take myself seriouslyand/or stop insisting that I stop. It seems very needy.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 17 Jul 2021, 0:05,
archived)
You’re much nicer on /board, why is that?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 20:05,
archived)
I guess because I'm not so much the object of ridicule by a bunch of arseholes trying to convince each other that it's okay to joke about killing n-words.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 21:39,
archived)
What would you think of someone who hangs out with people like that? If it wasn’t yourself, I mean. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:32,
archived)
I'd think they were scum.Unless they were doing their best to uplift and enlighten those people by encouraging them a) not to be racist, or b) kill themselves.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:50,
archived)
And how would you feel if you found out that someone mentally ill and vulnerable had taken their own life after you’d encouraged them to do so?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jul 2021, 17:12,
archived)
this may be the first time you are correct today(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 19:07,
archived)
Even a stopped clock… is still a clock, despite the fact that it is no longer fulfilling the function of a clock and therefore merely resembles a clock.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 20:07,
archived)
Time is an abstract theory, the clock isn't. Can't blame the clock (
mongychops, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 20:11,
archived)
THIS IS MAMBO NUMBER 5 (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 23:51,
archived)
afternoondoing anything nice for the weekend?
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 13:43,
archived)
Everything I do is nice.Except your nan.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 14:33,
archived)
staying at home and watching the water rise(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 14:42,
archived)
yeah that is a proper fucking messstay safe m8
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:10,
archived)
am not in imminent danger but in the greater surrounding area, apart from the Rhine which I can see, things are not well(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:19,
archived)
Mostly hobbling, by the looks of it (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:13,
archived)
and binning those sandals, hopefully(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:17,
archived)
Definitely (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 16:08,
archived)
Some of my work colleagues have organised an aqua park thing tomorrow morning, should be fun. A bunA bunch of them are going out on the piss afterwards, and I probably won't join them because I'm lolold. Anyway, the ones going out are female and half my age so I'd just look like someone's pervy uncle.
(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:17, archived)
going swimming then going drinking sounds like a good way to get wasted extremely quickly(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:22,
archived)
Water parks are a Petri dish at the best of timesImagine going to one during a global pandemic. That is the height of insanity
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 15:44,
archived)
Swim at home, train to be a lifeguard, save lives(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 16:33,
archived)
That's exactly why I flooded the entire ground floor of my house(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 16:36,
archived)
To be fair, it's in the sea.If I see any covid coming towards me, I'll swim towards Denmark.
(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 17:37, archived)
They really aren't. We have some of the strictess water regulations in the world. (
mongychops, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 17:44,
archived)
Do you know what this park says to me? Aqua. Which is French for water. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint.(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 16:05, archived)
I love all these updates offered where a question hasn't even been asked.(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 8:53,
archived)
^ is that online internet harassment?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 8:54,
archived)
Yeah, come on BDP, at least enquire as to our favourite transneptunian object or something. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:17,
archived)
soz Tea, what's your favourite subfamily of Formica rufa?You can't say Martialinae.
(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:30, archived)
How you can have a "subfamily" of a single species?F-, see me after class.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 16 Jul 2021, 12:43,
archived)
Morning posse, morning all, fuck yeah Friday(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 9:00,
archived)
get in there son, have some of that etcmight go the Nero exhibition at the British Museum today but £20 a head seems a bit fucking steep, especially as my wife isn't very interested in it. Jimi's gaff was only a tenner yesterday and was excellent.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 9:06,
archived)
They've found him then?oh soz, thought you said Nemo
(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 9:27,
archived)
I love it that he lived in the same house where Handel had lived, what, 250 years earlier. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:18,
archived)
haha, you need to 'get a handle' on your level of excitement here!!!!!(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:31, archived)
Says here it means black, dirty and evilQueef just can't help himself
dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/italian-english/nero?q=Nero
(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 11:42, archived)
my it's hot out here (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:14,
archived)
Morning Just went arse over, in the middle of the road. Both knees are turning purple.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:20,
archived)
bruhis it icy out or something?
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 10:33,
archived)
No Sandals of doom
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 11:00,
archived)
Turning purple knees I think I'm turning purple knees I really think so(, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 11:08, archived)
Silly person (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jul 2021, 11:21,
archived)
Hi guy's! It's me. TH. From the internet!My neck hurts today. What is YOUR neck doing today? You can't say Boyce's Nan.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 14:55,
archived)
Sorry TH but it sounds like you got the neck cancer. :((
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:03,
archived)
That's good, nothing like a bit of exercise to help boost your endorphins and take your mind off your impending horrible death (, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:15, archived)
It's this sort of fear-mongering that is resulting in the NHS being overwhelmed by hypochondriacs.Two hats clearly doesn't have neck cancer, merely a mild case of syringomyelia which will result in progressive paralysis.
(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:13, archived)
PROGRESsive paralysiS = PROGRESS, maybe yours will catch on, before you asphyxicate (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 20:27,
archived)
And with a brain like yoursWell....do I need to finish that sentence? Because I don't want to
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:11,
archived)
Can't seem to find it on TripAdvisor.Was interested to see that the Bridge Road Public toilets are the 10th most highly rated thing to do in Yarmouth.
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g503893-d23463377-Reviews-Bridge_Road_Public_Toilets-Yarmouth_Isle_of_Wight_England.html
(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:22, archived)
Yeah, I don't know who started that, or whyI don't really get it, to be honest
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:32,
archived)
are you saying that there's an ongoing joke on b3ta which is both well past its sell by date, and has never been funny?Are you sure? Because that doesn't sound very likely.
(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:39, archived)
When you say it like that, it doesn't seem all that likelyIt must be me. I'm not terribly bright
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:41,
archived)
It's a bit stiff (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 15:56,
archived)
Tension headache (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 18:51,
archived)
mine is looking pasty white in between my tanned face and shoulders explain THAT jacob dyer
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 17:33,
archived)
I just built TWO 4'x7' ikea shelves in 2.5 hours without assistance, I demand respect.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 18:18,
archived)
I can throw a billy bookcase together in 10 minutes (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 19:56,
archived)
I've had better (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 13:21,
archived)
I love all these updates offered where a question hasn't even been asked.(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 14:01, archived)
I can't eat breakfast first thing without it making me feel sick, so I just have coffee until about 8:30 or so when I have something to eat.After that I need to have lunch at about noon on weekdays.
(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 14:29, archived)
can't wait to find out what time you eat dinner (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 14:34,
archived)
I love all these updates offered where a question hasn't even been asked.(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 14:40,
archived)
I've got a question for you.When was the last time someone told you to go fuck yourself?
(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 14:47, archived)
Morning Feeling rather queasy this morning, serves me right for eating breakfast too fast
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 7:42,
archived)
d'ohI woke up this morning to find that I'd put the chili oil bottle down a bit too hard last night after putting it on my pizza, so the bottom cracked and it pissed chili oil all over my work surface
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 7:46,
archived)
That's a bugger You'll need to bleach it at least 3 times to get all the chilli out of it
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:00,
archived)
mehit's tiled and doesn't seem to have stained, but yes, I can tell I'm going to have to give the whole thing a re-clean later
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:03,
archived)
Lucky I've got crappy melamine that stains like a bastard
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:32,
archived)
hello m8yeah, it's lovely here too
hope you are enjoying not being at work
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:13,
archived)
so far so good tacheeky cycle, then bacon roll and off to town
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:14,
archived)
good morning gosh and what a glorious one it is too(
broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:14,
archived)
jolly hockey sticks eh what what what(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 8:16,
archived)
Not with infection rates going the way they are.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 15 Jul 2021, 9:20,
archived)
the football's over now so we can go back to concentrating on getting ill(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 9:23,
archived)
Blimey www.farfetch.com/uk/shopping/men/ambush-nobo-clip-earring-item-13633203.aspx?
(
mongychops, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 10:47,
archived)
ok, if you pay any money at all for that, let alone £534, you are a fucking moron(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 10:56,
archived)
straight where my mind went tooI mean, it was true at the time as well, but it's still true now
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 11:20,
archived)
"This is a single earring."Dammit, I wanted a pair, but I've only got £1050 to spend.
(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 11:21, archived)
Am I missing something here?Or are they actually charging £534 for a fucking peg?
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 11:28,
archived)
What better way to tell everyone how much you like being pegged?(, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 13:58, archived)
I've forgotten how to gaz people. It's a good tip for everyone thoIf you visit the hendrix museum. Walk round, see graffiti gorillas, then head south down bond St.( lots of watch shops, and bird clobber. Cross over Picaddily, go left then right past the Cavendish on Duke St James, and you'll be at a great juicer the chequers. Run by an old paddy lad, named after the game the coachmen played as they waited in the square out back. Was a music club on that square. Lenton has a plaque.
Tl;dr
Foods good about a tenner, pints 5.50
(
mongychops, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 21:49,
archived)
Dunno if you ever played monopoly but mayfair is expensive. 5.50 there isn't. (
mongychops, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 22:31,
archived)
I'm in a good mood Haven't had a fag in 2 weeks
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 22:37,
archived)
Hopefully the weather improves, bit blowy and cloudy in w1 (
mongychops, Thu 15 Jul 2021, 9:39,
archived)
is brb still an unreconstructed pro-apartheid white supremacist?(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:22, archived)
Dunno, why don't you ask him? He's just there ⬇️(
broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:24,
archived)
They do say that unreconstructed pro-apartheid white supremacy is in the eye of the beholder.Oh no wait, it's in the brain of the beholden. As you were.
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:26, archived)
what are any of us? really?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:48,
archived)
is that the same as being a cunt?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:55,
archived)
ah. thought so.(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 17:45,
archived)
Wouldn't know about that, sounds like a pretentious michelin star starter. He's certainly a smelly poo face though.
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 21:45, archived)
Who, if anyone, is uglier than Ed Gamble?(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 14:10,
archived)
the soul of someone who discriminates by appearance(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 14:27,
archived)
A distinction can be made between discrimination and judgement. Clear-eyed discrimination is a useful and desirable skill. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 17:47,
archived)
I don't discriminate by the appearance of letters so I have no idea what you said, whoever you are.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 18:34,
archived)
They do say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.In this case, I guess it means that your eyes are full of ugliness. You can probably get drops for that.
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:07, archived)
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Get it out with Optrex.” — Spike Milligan(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 17:51,
archived)
that cunt who owns wetherspoons(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:46,
archived)
Even if he shaved off the clown hair he’d still have a head that resembles a poorly drawn weeble. Might buy him a hat. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 20:34,
archived)
You, your inbred spastic parents, and the two misshapen simians that you think constitute your 'friend group' but who actually despise you as much as everyone else in the world.You fucking cunt.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 17:01,
archived)
Bit harsh Shouldn't call people spastics
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 21:30,
archived)
Right on, Shaftlol shaft
How's it going? Wishing the day away here
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 11:49,
archived)
alright, day off here, just been to Leeds for 1st time in ages, got a nice shirt lol(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 11:59, archived)
Nope, stuck because of security issues about the place being packed with priceless stuff (
mongychops, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 12:13,
archived)
Show them your watch collection and tell them to chill the fuck out. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 18:44,
archived)
fucked it off for the afternoon, it's dead quietmight do a horror marathon for the lols
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 12:08,
archived)
Nice and quiet Might make beef stew later, or maybe curry
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 13:47,
archived)
got the postie job so sacked off my other oneso got a week and a half off paid :)
going to tidy the house and probably do a lot of wanking
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 14:06, archived)
congratulationsmy brother always wanted to be a postie
I think the whole 'being in the pub by early afternoon every day' thing might have been the appeal, probably not like that any more
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 14:13,
archived)
congratulations!don't use meat-scented sun lotion on your legs
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 15:47,
archived)
unfortunatekeep your pockets full of aniseed balls to throw at dogs, then
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 16:35,
archived)
only the best tracks on Tony's Hithouse!(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 8:41,
archived)
Morning Coffee and a bagel, perfect way to start the day
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 8:41,
archived)
I leave it on the plate And pour the coffee into the middle, like a little brown swimming pool
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:04,
archived)
Nice.Do you use a straw, or just lap it up like a dog?
I apologise for the direction this sub-thread has taken, I didn't plan this
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:08, archived)
A straw, obviously (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:14,
archived)
yo manit's my 'Friday' today, houpla, panowie etc
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:01,
archived)
Owt exciting lined up?I'm planning a quiet one, might diddle a donkey though, just to keep my hand in.
(
broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:31,
archived)
I might get myself down the Hendrix/Handel museum in MayfairDefo doing some heavyweight bbqing, and there's a very strong chance I might masturbate a marmoset
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:32,
archived)
I think this must be the meanest thing I've ever said on the internet(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:14,
archived)
If you see a scruffy cunt, hungover and doing no work, do wave (
mongychops, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:28,
archived)
haha will dojust booked for 11:30 tomorrow morning
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:41,
archived)
Have a wander in the orlinski gallery round the corner (
mongychops, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:46,
archived)
I'll send my wife to the pub whilst I go in then(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:58,
archived)
Disgusting Revelation at FOX (scary)Something recently happened at FOX News that should terrify conservative Americans.
No, it had nothing to with the elections.
Nor did it have anything to do with Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, the Five, or anything like that.
Instead, this has to do with how FOX leadership betrayed Americans.
The details of this scheme involve some of the most powerful people in America... people Trump called the Deep State...
..secretly taking control of FOX so they can quietly change the direction of the company to turn America into a left-wing cesspool.
Sadly, what happened to FOX is a small sample of what’s going on behind closed doors in politics AND in major companies.
And that’s why best-selling author Damian Campbell is giving away Free copies of his new book “Rulers of Darkness” to the next 77 people who click here.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:27,
archived)
I tried to click there but it wouldn't let me :((((
broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:29,
archived)
that must mean it's already too late - the Deep State must have got to best-selling author Damian Campbell!(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:33,
archived)
morningjust ordered myself one of those Oculus VR thingies
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:34,
archived)
it's to go with my hearing AIDS(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 9:58,
archived)
I got one last year, it's pretty impressive.And very nearly achieved my aim of making me do exercise regularly.
I'd recommend "The thrill of the fight" for some exercise that leaves you as knackered after a couple of rounds as if you were doing it for real.
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 10:49, archived)
sounds good, taI'm planning on getting Beat Saber as well
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 11:08,
archived)
Well obviously.Worth getting the quest 2 just for that.
Couple of other recommendations:
If your PC is capable then Half Life Alyx via PC link is truly mind blowing.
Gun club VR is pretty good for blowing off steam and cured me of collecting Airsoft guns.
(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 14:03, archived)
is that like for playing Steam games and stuff?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 11:09,
archived)
Some people are trying to call them 'bearded reedlings' now, but they'll always be tits to me.(, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 11:13, archived)
There are plenty of people here who would have no trouble at all believing V was a dramatized documentary. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 14 Jul 2021, 3:28,
archived)
I just had to pinch myself to see if it's really happening(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 13:34,
archived)
Of course, the important thing is the friends we made along the way(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 13:54,
archived)
I didn't make any 😢(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 13:57,
archived)
OhWe must have buddied up when you weren't here. And by 'buddied up', I mean 'anally penetrated'
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 14:09,
archived)
The installation of this device is forbidden by your organisation. (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 13:34,
archived)
Hello One side of my nose is blocked up. It's very annoying.
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 14:11,
archived)
So you’re more of a nose-half-full kind of person?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 17:39,
archived)
we should have taken all this to Zoom by now(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 14:48,
archived)
Teams, Zoom, Skype...'s all goodyesterday I saw some new outfit called "mmhmm" has managed to screw $50 million out of investors for a videoconf solution that also lets you show PPT slides
can't imagine giving $50 million to a company called "mmhmm"
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 15:17,
archived)
I lost all my life savings when I invested in MNEEEURGH(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 15:21,
archived)
investments can go Down's as well as up(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 15:30,
archived)
might need to do a gofundme for some beefier servers(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 15:31,
archived)
Alterous attraction is a form of emotional attraction. It describes a feeling that is not necessarily platonic,
but also is not romantic in nature. For some it may be in between romantic and platonic attraction,
and for others it may be completely separate from the romantic/platonic distinction.
An alterous crush is known as a mesh or a hush, although the terms are not widely used. Alterous
attraction is most commonly associated with the color light blue. One who does not experience
alterous attraction may identify as a-alterous, analterous, or nonalterous.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 19:38,
archived)
MorningThis coffee isn't doing its job. May need another.
(
Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 7:43,
archived)
DONKEY COCK'Smorning, I mean
Decided to take Thursday, Friday and Monday off work to use up some leave. Thought you would like to know.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 8:39,
archived)
planning a five-day bender?lol bender
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 8:51,
archived)
nah but I do want to smoke a shoulder of pork which will be an 8-10 hour affair involving lots of beer(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 9:33,
archived)
exactly, you can have it all to yourself, no need to share with yr kid(, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 9:46, archived)
I'm 48 you dick, I'm not going to spend my time pretending to be a fucking elf(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 9:54,
archived)
This is the most sense you’ve ever made. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 17:44,
archived)
He's not an elf, he's a Hylian (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 10:33,
archived)
you are on form this morning(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 10:55,
archived)
Shame I find killing things in games to be very therapeutic
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 10:44,
archived)
Don’t let that other dull fuck take over your account again, he’s making you look bad. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 17:46,
archived)
Feeling a little dicky this morning, actually*Kenneth Williams noises*
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Jul 2021, 9:49,
archived)
How little are we talking, here?*finger paused above third '9'*
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 13 Jul 2021, 9:52,
archived)
Evenin' all Tonight for dinner I had a Sunday dinner as I didn't have one yesterday due to the fact I was not at home.
Microwave re-heated one day later Sunday dinners are pretty much the work of Satan.
What did YOU have?
(
TBL I posted this on, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 18:20,
archived)
I only wish I had a FUCKING businessto mind
(
TBL I posted this on, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 22:11,
archived)
to mind a fucking business would make you a pimp(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 22:29,
archived)
Oh, it's easySpeak to your local FUCKING bank manager and apply for a FUCKING business loan. You'll be set up in no fucking time!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 23:08,
archived)
I knew I shouldn't have gone for business FUCKING pitch, fucking soros (
mongychops, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 23:18,
archived)
day two of a hangoverso a tin of soup and some toast,
getting old sucks ass
(, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 18:48, archived)
A tug off a toothless crone called Mabel(
broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 21:17,
archived)
send her over here will you when your finished.
(
TBL I posted this on, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 22:12,
archived)
Surely a blowjob would be preferable, especially in those circumstances? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 13 Jul 2021, 8:04,
archived)
hullo wanker'sy'araight?
going to make a chilli in a bit. what are you going to make in a bit? you can't say sweet love to my nan
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 12:22,
archived)
another coffee, because legal highs are great(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 12:32,
archived)
Gonna make tracks to the nearest electrical shop Need a different scart lead for the new DVD player
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 12:37,
archived)
my DVD player only plays sound on the downstairs TV and I can't work out whythis is a problem as my daughter wants to watch films in the loft
baffled
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 12:39,
archived)
Is the lead in firmly?If it's even a bit loose, it won't show the picture
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 12:58,
archived)
picture's fine, it's the audio that doesn't worktried 3 different hdmi ports, all nowt
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 13:28,
archived)
Tried a different HDMI cable?(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 14:36,
archived)
it's the same one that works fine downstairs and on jr's switch(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 14:37,
archived)
May be that the pins on the cable are a bit wonkynot an issue on one machine but the other is a bit more worn or wasn't made as well? Get a cable from Amazon and if that doesn't fix it send it back.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 15:45,
archived)
Or you could try covering it in jam and spunking in its hdmi(
broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 17:01,
archived)
chilli contains carolina reaper, ancho, chile d'arbol and chipotleit's a feisty one
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 14:37,
archived)
Sounds good (
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 17:10,
archived)
the loft insulation is absorbing all the sound(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 14:42,
archived)
Andrew Bone's been firedlulz
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 13:14,
archived)
Poos and weesand maybe guffs but the way my guts are I'll probably do them as safety farts - over the toilet bowl in case of it being a trick trump.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 14:39,
archived)
I bet he's a man who has soiled himself in a meeting with one other personand berated them for shitting themselves. He's that kind of person.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 15:46,
archived)
Need to go to the local yeoman and buy some copper contacts for my fucken wax cylinder playerWonder if Benjamin Franklin is about
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 17:17,
archived)
morningcracking party for my mother's 70th yesterday, must have nodded off during the sport and missed the disappointment, kind of relieved really
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 8:28,
archived)
morningsausage butties for breakfast this morning
beat that, the internet
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 8:32,
archived)
black coffee that I haven't drunk any of yet because it's still too hota shit is sure to follow
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 8:36,
archived)
Mary, a girl at a party
Pretty face, fantasy body
On the strength girl was fine
Mission: make her mine
So I stepped to her shyly
Before I could speak she walked right by me
Frozen, lost my cool
Out of the groove, what's my next move
Should I chill, should I follow
Heart is pounding, I feel hollow
Paused, thought for a minute
If she was a pool I'd jump right in it
So in her path I did step
Nervous but I still had pep
It didn't matter where she went to
I would be there too
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:08,
archived)
Mary had a little lambShe tied it to a pylon
One thousand volts went up its bum
And turned its wool to nylon
/primary school
(, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:34, archived)
bit sleepy this morning, a lad at the pub got a flare out at around 9.30 so i went home
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 12 Jul 2021, 9:33,
archived)
you predicted the right score but the wrong teams :*((
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 9:46,
archived)
Yeah , fucking typical. It's like London is in mourning today, nobody is chatting , everyone heads down (
mongychops, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 9:56,
archived)
Nah, it's normally a right old knees up on a Monday morning (
mongychops, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:14,
archived)
You Londoners and your fancy ways*adjusts flat cap*
(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:23,
archived)
at the end of the day it's a game of two halves (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:05,
archived)
Morning I'd rather be in Rome myself
(
Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:25,
archived)
Il calcio sta tornando a casa(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 10:40,
archived)
I think they jinxed the matchhow could fate resist showing that person up for wazzock they are?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 11:08,
archived)
I think England lost for the same reason they always lose, i.e. they couldn't hack the pressureINGERLAND
(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 12 Jul 2021, 11:12,
archived)
I love ball footIt brings out the hypocrites over her in Norn Ireland. You know, the ones that spend a small fortune every year kitting themselves and their kids in Liverpool or Man Utd kits (or any other team) and then decide they don't like the English anymore.
Wankers
(
TBL I posted this on, Sun 11 Jul 2021, 22:53,
archived)
the real victory is the friends you make along the way(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 11 Jul 2021, 23:10,
archived)
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