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# Wonga.com may be the USAs only hope


Click for bigger (192 kb)
(darthblingbling, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:40, archived)
# i dun geddit, sorry probably just me being dim
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:42, archived)
#
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14430598
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:46, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:46, archived)
# Hahaha
photoshopped images only pls etc
(Grey Area has been lurking under your kitchen cupboards, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:52, archived)
# Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:59, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! Kung-fu Womble The pope is smelly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:30, archived)
# snoochie
boochies
(cheebatv, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:34, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! Kung-fu Womble The pope is smelly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 14:07, archived)
# I've not passed the bar, but I know a little bit...
Why does it take four of them when one copper can reasonably drag a cuffed person along the street?

That cuts police man-hours by three-quarters. There's your performance and efficiency review, right there.
(xaer0mancer, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 19:22, archived)
# Can I put this here? (I didn't post it last night)
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:12, archived)
# Ouch
Perspective hurts my eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:14, archived)
# can I just say that this one on photoshopalooter.com is genius
s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lprhdnRq521r1qajlo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1313152119&Signature=9tptMWBNHmNarDjoZWedpLe0UNg%3D

I lol'd lots
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:31, archived)
# hahaha :)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:33, archived)
# wow that's good
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:38, archived)
# Just heard on the news that a 12-yr old kid has been charged for stealing a bottle of wine.
The rozzers are reading b3ta?
(Meagrom, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:17, archived)
# hahah yay for subtle henry
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:18, archived)
# ^this
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:37, archived)
# Is that buckfast he's got?
(I helped save b3ta! boff FL OZ, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:18, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:19, archived)
# Casual fingernail cutting method.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:40, archived)
# escher does photoshopping?
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:26, archived)
# pffft
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:38, archived)
# have a cheeky pearoast from last night
(I helped save b3ta! thiswasmyclone, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:50, archived)
# hamtoucher!
in other news - i like this a lot :)
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:57, archived)
# Said Bill to Monica
(TitanLX, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:07, archived)
# If you're going to do that
I'm going to pimp my new story.



Free for a while (basically until I go and upload it onto Amazon). Use EB75K as a coupon when you go to buy it and it should be free. (If it's not, gaz me an angry complaint and I'll just send you the thing.)

Ever wanted to read a story about an old man who smells of iron filings and claims to have been on the Marie Celeste? YOUR PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED.

Yes.

Edit: click on the pic btw. That link was always there. Honest.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:14, archived)
# I'll go for that.
Also, could you attach a rendition of "Elephant Stone" as that's my fave, please?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:17, archived)
# If you wish
Did you want the original version (collected on "Turns into Stone") or the remix (collected on "The Complete Stone Roses")?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:18, archived)
# The remix.
I bet you'd never heard that joke until I made it, had you?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:21, archived)
# never
growing up in the 90s, no-one had *ever* heard of the stone roses or make jokes about the "sometimes i fantasise" line in 'made of stone'
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:24, archived)
# Good thing I got it out there, then - I'm generally ahead of the pack - just look at how I single-handedly invented Film Noir!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:26, archived)
# I'm very impressed
the only thing i invented was farting in the office
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:26, archived)
# /obligatory
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:18, archived)
# I do think we need something of a return to old-school board nazism.
When even regulars start to think it's OK to repost into new threads then the very fabric of society is beginning to unravel.

With two consecutive posts FFS.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:19, archived)
# I like these threads
They're an excuse for a repost fest or to pimp something that probably shouldn't start a new thread when the board's busy.

(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:21, archived)
# Repost fest you say?
*cracks knuckles*
























(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:23, archived)
# hahaha epic
i want the one for the cobra mk iii

this probably needs another outing:
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:25, archived)
# you mean we need a riposte to the reposts
(I helped save b3ta! boff FL OZ, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:27, archived)
[challenge entry] The best way to deal with rioters is to arm the police

Crap, but you get the idea.
(TitanLX, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:50, archived)
# Yay
Send the highest hindu gods after these cuntbags!
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:51, archived)
# Cameron knows how to hit those rioters where it hurts


Click for bigger (389 kb)
(badly drunk boy, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:41, archived)
# I can't believe Cameron has been slating the police over this.
Ian Tomlinson, Mark Duggan or no, they have done a bloody superb job over the riots, and we owe them our gratitude. They're being hit from every single angle - both physically and politically, and Cameron cuts his Tuscan holiday short, pokes a burnt car a bit, and says "You done it rong lol".

If I were a copper I'd punch him in the face.

/Internet ragehorn
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:47, archived)
# Not so much the rank and file,
but the leadership. They deserve a spot of bother over how they handled it.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:17, archived)
# Not from a man who took three whole days to do anything at all all about it.
(Other than have his picture taken with attractive waitresses, obviously.)
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:23, archived)
# I like how his tie changes colors
and the people behind him change genders.
(Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:53, archived)
#
You have eyes like a hawk! :) I swore NOBODY would notice :)
(badly drunk boy, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:00, archived)
# I also like
William Hague's seat-swapping antics
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:07, archived)
# Hahahahaa the little scamp!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:08, archived)
# in the third frame
osbourne was caught in the act of diving into hague's seat
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:30, archived)
# and his tie
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:49, archived)
# Fake HDR FTW!

Click for bigger

(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:24, archived)
# Argh! The TLHC has gone all 3D!
This is quite surreal and lovely, though personally I feel that HDR is best used minimally and subtley.

But that said, I'm a bit of a cock, so I'll shut up and go away now.

/blog
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:26, archived)
# it was gagging for it!
- i fuckin love HDR! lol
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:28, archived)
# High Dynamic Rain?
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:40, archived)
# High Dynamic SEXY TIME!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:41, archived)
# I think you can have a bit of both
I like subtle HDR if it's used to bring out the best in a photo, but I rather like more HDR if it makes something more artistic of the photo, like the one above your good self.

Stuff like this however is shit:

data.motor-talk.de/data/galleries/974048/1463737/a4-hdr-23733.jpg

(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:42, archived)
# Yes I agree. I think the OP is rather lovely.
What you have linked to, however, needs to be shot.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:49, archived)
[challenge entry] This is how you do it

www.b3ta.com/board/10506017
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:10, archived)
# nice :D

(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:12, archived)
# hahahaha
great hat stealing action
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:18, archived)
# its hot out there
(version, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:56, archived)
# so loot all your clothes
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:09, archived)
# gettin my cork off
(version, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:52, archived)
# hehehe
what background have you put him in?
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:54, archived)
# a grape orchard, in mexico
(version, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:54, archived)
# I thought it might have been a cork farm in Spain or Portugal
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:12, archived)
# He sure does love his wolf blass.
Sort of reminds me of this
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:54, archived)
# Fake
chavs would never be found in an orchard with migrant workers
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:55, archived)
# Too much like work
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:58, archived)
[challenge entry] The future of policing. No photoshop required.
(seaofnames, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:15, archived)
# are they all sex dolls?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:17, archived)
# Near enough for me!
*unzips*
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:34, archived)
# Hello new person please read the FAQ
www.b3ta.com/features/faq/
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:17, archived)
# ^What she said^
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:20, archived)
[challenge entry] wahey!
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:19, archived)
# That.
That is awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:21, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:24, archived)
# hahahahah! this needs to happen!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:24, archived)
# yes
and it made me think about Streets of Rage for some reason - so it wins a double awesome prize!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:26, archived)
# Aye, level 2 on SOR2 :)
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:29, archived)
# I FUCKING LOVE ROBODOMO!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:48, archived)
# SHIT, YES!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:08, archived)
# wonderful!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 14:52, archived)
# woosome beyond belief
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 16:36, archived)
# Roight,
Is he in the North East or Austramalasia?
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 19:56, archived)
# Needs more
"pew pew"
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Aug 2011, 10:06, archived)
# actually, photoshopping is required....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:24, archived)
# I thought it was just strongly encouraged
like the national speed limit...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:27, archived)
# if there is a sign that says "30" in a red circle, you have to divide that by the number of roads that lead off of the street, multipy by the number of houses, then find the square root. The number you get is the correct speed you should be at.
hello prof!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:31, archived)
# ^ What he said
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:11, archived)
# still though - you might have photoshopped it
... perhaps made it humorous in some way...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:25, archived)
# brilliant
- very subtle
(dirk speedrift Sit doon, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:30, archived)
# seamless
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:33, archived)
# I can't spot the gurning diver
I give up!
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:45, archived)
# Help us choose the new Question of the Week
Greetings, fleshy ones! Please vote for the new QOTW

First rude thing I ever saw - After my first visit to a public swimming pool and seeing ladies in bikinis, I hatched a plan to kidnap local MILFs and tie them up in the underground car park of our apartment complex. I was five.

Jim'll Fix It - What would Jim fix for you (apart from something dodgy with corpses?)

Competitive Streaks - Funniest thing I ever saw was a yummy mummy face-planting in a desperate attempt to win the parents race at the school sports day. Can't say anybody else saw the funny side

Near Death Experiences II - We first ran this one back in 2004, and we dare say that you have somehow failed to kill yourselves entirely TO DEATH since then

Performance - Have you ever - voluntarily or otherwise - appeared in front of an audience? How badly did it go?

My most treasured possessions - My camera, my overly-ostentatious wristwatch and several USB drives containing a metric shitload of pornography

Mini poll bar
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Mini poll bar

Vote closes lunch-time-ish
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:10, archived)
# Hahhahaha
"I like this"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:17, archived)
# Personality Horse
Personality Horse
Mini poll bar
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Mini poll bar
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(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:21, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
WHAT?!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:29, archived)
# You missed out Personality Horse!
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:30, archived)
# but it's so hard to choose!

edit/ who the hell is voting for Personality Horse for fuck sake?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:34, archived)
# Don't blame me
I voted for Personality Horse
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:50, archived)
# What do you do in the event of a tie?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:38, archived)
# It'd go to a Personality Horse off.
In which the most Personality Horse becomes the Personality Horse.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:44, archived)
# It's a 3 Personality Horse race at the minute
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:47, archived)
# I see
That does sound like the most reasonable solution.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:58, archived)
# Is that using the original Chipping Membury technique?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:24, archived)
# Nope.
It's the Personality Horse method.
Duh!
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:49, archived)
# D'oh!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:59, archived)
# needs more "Charisma Llama", but I'll just vote for Personality Horse instead
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:47, archived)
# *writes in Karma Chameleon vote*
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:52, archived)
# *Vocational Guidance Counsellor*
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:01, archived)
# I voted for Personality Horse
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:11, archived)
# It's way out ahead.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:18, archived)
# Personality Horse
for the win!
(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:34, archived)
# Sarah Jessica Parker
(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 12:58, archived)
# simply because I quite like doing Noo Yoik accents when I'm drunk
I decided to waste an hour of my precious life doing this movie poster lol



I did learn though that if you search for a movie poster in different languages that you can find different letters for your movie font, but I didn't do that here.




MOAR RIOT PICZ!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:57, archived)
# TOP TIP!
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:05, archived)
# 'Sirinler' * is Turkish for Smurfs
which bizarrely, I already knew

* actually the S should have a cedilla (making it 'Sh') but no extended characters are allowed in the racist subject box and it won't display in the message box!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:06, archived)
# I wonder why
I think -ler is the plural, and they've got no dipthongs, but what was wrong with smufler? Is it rude? Did they already have a small mythological blue creature called a sirin? Apparently it's equivalent to the name "Sherine".
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:14, archived)
# The standard word for cucumber
in Turkish 'hiyar' is no longer used since it became slang for 'cock'. Now people have to say 'salatalik' which simply means 'something you put in a salad'
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:16, archived)
# This will soon become the new Turkish slang for cock
leading to a situation where any mention of salad is risqué.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:22, archived)
# ^This^
Recursive ephemisms FTW.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:31, archived)
# Crudely Drawn Salataliks
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:42, archived)
# I understand there is already a new Turkish word for tossed salad...
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:48, archived)
# Blame da yoof
innit
(Vonpip http://www.thevpme.com, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:57, archived)
# This is rather good.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Kronos Go Team Pachyderm, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:37, archived)
[challenge entry]


Click for bigger (113 kb)
(grotpig, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:33, archived)
# HA!
I'm always a sucker for shopped in AT AT's and the like...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:38, archived)
# You may fire when ready

:)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:55, archived)
# but it was from long long ago!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:56, archived)
# Nice
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:57, archived)
# hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:59, archived)
# Good Shooting Wedge!
(MrKane 01234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:13, archived)
# *AT-AT falls over*
*sound of car striking trash cans*
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:51, archived)
[challenge entry] Best TV theme ever
(I helped save b3ta! Kung-fu Womble The pope is smelly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:25, archived)
# "Bugger that I'm staying on holiday the authorities can handle it!"
:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:26, archived)
# wood wood wood wood
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:29, archived)
# EWAR WOO WAR!!
:DDDD!!!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:50, archived)
# This always reminded me of the Equalizer theme tune
www.youtube.com/watch?v=C45RAKUXD9I
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:54, archived)
[challenge entry]
(I helped save b3ta! Kung-fu Womble The pope is smelly, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:11, archived)
# "Stop that looting
or we'll charge you $300 for a blowjob."
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:54, archived)
# *pays*
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:31, archived)
# are we still mocking the intellectually challenged?
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:03, archived)
# Yup!
Everyone need a hobby...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:09, archived)
# Yeah I don't see it as embrassing
I'd expect half of them would love to loot Anna Summers - whether she was willing would be another matter ;)
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:29, archived)
# One chav down my street was yelling at his mate a few doors down once thru his skylight (they sort of used them like free phones)
all about his latest STD and how he thought he might have got it from his lasses dildo as him and his bum chum were playing with it last week whilst she was out.

You learn a lot of TMI that way, and the funny part is if you say owt at the time they look at you askance and say 'This is a PRIVATE conversation!'

Erm, no, it really isn't...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:47, archived)
# Biting political satire!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:50, archived)
# yeah cunt your life support in the fuck !!
LOL excellent :D
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:52, archived)
# Aye just trying to make a point, none too subtle but meh.
Tho so far half the ones they've already processed in the courts don't even seem to be real chavs, tho that might be because the genuine article have done enough petty crime to know not to show their faces to CCTV when looting?

We have an oddly high and visible police presence in my estate today, BTW folks, camera van and foot patrol, doing the rounds, wondering what's happened, or maybe about to... ?
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:03, archived)
# I'm getting a bit annoyed by the court coverage
the media only seem to want to name and shame the 'surprising' looters, rather than all the scum that will probably be back on the rob within minutes of being out of prison
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:05, archived)
# Do you think that's it?
Just focussing on the ones we wouldn't expect? Wonder why?

Maybe they're worried we'll get vigilante paedo-hysteria style mobs burning down the chav hives?
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:09, archived)
# they come from hives :O
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:11, archived)
# It's what me and my friends call them
it's always the lass who's the head of the council house y'see, 'cos all the benefits from all the kids she's popping out to finance her many habits go to her, and all the daddy drones come and go doing her bidding bringing her many offerings in the hope she'll let them stay a night and maybe get some of her taxpayer financed scag n booze, and minge, often lamenting their inability to get in at 4am, while all the little maggots forage and play in the local habitat scavenging for food and camera phones.
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:19, archived)
# Ah ok I can see the logic
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:23, archived)
# We don't currently have any in our street
one got moved on after 2 years of her little maggots twatting the fuck out of everyones shit all day every day (yes it took 2 fucking years to get them moved even tho they destroyed entire fucking houses on an almost daily basis!) and the other left 'cos her main squeeze spent all day every day with his stereo playing speed gabba, standing outside with a beer in his hand waiting for anyone to come over and tell him to turn it down so he could have a fight with them, till the retired lass at the end of the road got the Noise Pollution folks out who eventually took his stereo off him (YAY!) and he left in a huff to find a less up-market council estate.

So right now we got all 3 houses opposite me empty and most of the rest filled with working class folk with a job to go to in the morning, so it's actually pretty quiet!

Ya never know what you're gonna get each time a removal van turns up tho, and the street adjacent to me is proper chocker with chavscum at the mo, so you get distant noise and the residual run-off of pissed/drugged up wankers from there, esp in summer, but it's sufferable.

Still seeing coppers passing by at the mo, tho, might have to stop one n ask why...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:37, archived)
# I'd say it's just a 'better' story
Personally I couldn't give a monkeys what school they went to, what job they've got, or how much their parents house is worth (oh, yes, the Fail went down that route with one)

I just want to know names, where they are from, and perhaps most importantly, what sentences they are getting.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:13, archived)
# I am curious too
I assume a few examples will have to be made to deter future similar events, and some people DID die!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:43, archived)
# Oh but no
We can't do anything to the poor devils. It's not their fault that society has alienated them and left them so bored that they can't even raise the motivation to find a job or not run around twatting people, throwing bricks and petrol bombs at the police, and stealing televisions! We should be patting their hands gently, giving them free Irish coffee (except that might be a bit poofy for them, in which case we should be giving them free Stella), and perhaps rehouse them in rich people's houses. All this talk of "punishment" is wrong. How can we punish people who only looted and assaulted and arsoned and (in a few cases) murdered because society hasn't given them anything more than free money and accommodation and healthcare, and warmth and clean water and food?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:53, archived)
# Aye quite
plenty more free accom, health care, food and water awaiting them inside prison tho, hopefully with a side order of forced man-sex! ;)

I had for a while a mate of a mate in Hull prison who told me they loved it when a young chavscum came in from twatting a granny or somesuch, 'cos they would be the big I-am, strutting about like a monkey carrying 2 invisible carpets gobbing at everyone and expecting all to cower, or at least to take instant Big Daddy position in the prison, and how amusing it was seeing the change to whimpering frightened child after all the REAL hard bastards in there put them in their place, often on the first night.

There might be back on the streets within a few months but they might also be a tad less sure of their position of absolute power an'all...

There's always someone bigger and harder than you out there, and in prison it might be locked in a cell with you!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:08, archived)
# Maybe we should ship them over to the States
I hear that non-consensual man-love is a bit more common in the State penitentiaries than it is in British prisons.

However, I like the idea of these scrotes going into jail thinking they're big and hard and it'll be a breeze of a 15 or 20 weeks, and then having the shittiest time of their lives.

I also like pictures of the police tracking down at least a few people from pictures that have been spread over the internet. "Can you tell me where you got all these new, boxed televisions and Blu-Ray players, sir?" "I were given them! Honest!"
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:35, archived)
# This seems like an apt moment for this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExWfh6sGyso
(I helped save b3ta! Tusk knows where you live, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:32, archived)
# :)
Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:35, archived)
# Ha!
Quite so!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:12, archived)
# This about sums it up, nice one Wil :D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:27, archived)
# I Fank U!
*bows*
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:49, archived)
# hahaha
this is excellent.

Damn machine!
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:50, archived)
[challenge entry] in the future, psychological profiling will weed out the bad 'uns early
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:38, archived)
# Damn the statics for Chavitist are higher than first thought 1 in 2 have it
and there are no girls in the foochar!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:43, archived)
# in the foochar
baby clothes colour will be gender neutral...and think of it in terms of after the profiling process exactly 0% won't have Chavitis ;D
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:49, archived)
# Didn't know they did turquoise SCAR-Ls now :P
But seriously, this is good :) *clicks hard*
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:44, archived)
# it's the foochar silly
and ta :D
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:49, archived)
# Then all is well :)
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:51, archived)
# Phew!
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:56, archived)
# Is it Friday yet?
No?

:(

(I helped save b3ta! dogbomb, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:21, archived)
# Pffft
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:22, archived)
# Hahah!
nings everyone!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:58, archived)
# exhausted cycled to work nings!
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:11, archived)
# Hello boys!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:18, archived)
# Mornin' Medi'!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:37, archived)
# Sorry...bit of a busy day
I'll be on and off here I suppose. Last day before my house moving holiday
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:56, archived)
# howdy, freebs - the theme for my commute this morning was "Migraine the Underground" :P
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:37, archived)
# Hooray for pedal power!
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:20, archived)
#
S P A N G !

ö¿ö
` O
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:16, archived)
[challenge entry] Dear lord...
Mind if I take the opportunity to slide in a P4theC?

(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:36, archived)
# did you see you got 'trolled' on twitter by the same person who had a go at me the other day?
she followed me again, then replied to you (and me by association) regarding your peter andre/jordan comment.

after an hour or so, she deleted it and has 'unfollowed' again

made me chuckle :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:40, archived)
# I saw that she'd started following me but didn't catch any of the discussion.
Not been on That There Twitter for a bit - might just pop on and bin her.

I don't know if it was her doing, but I also got some monster twitter spam yesterday as well!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:42, archived)
# haha, her exact wording (including typo) before deletion was
@me @you Re: Only tweeing Peter Andre and Jordan? FUCK OFF

sandwich short of a picnic
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:43, archived)
# I think she's unfollowed me.
I take offence at that!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:46, archived)
# saved you the bother of blocking her, she'd only make a point about it :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:52, archived)
# double groan !!
and ningles
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:39, archived)
# Safety!
Both Johnny Carson and David Letterman have been known to use pencils with two erasers as stage props, to avoid poking anyone with the sharpened end.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pencil#Notable_pencil_users
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:21, archived)
# Not entirely seamless, but that would defeat the purpose

minimally NSFW
he shaves underarms, apparently
(I helped save b3ta! LS18, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:17, archived)
# that's pretty clever.
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:23, archived)
# he looks like a right arse
: )
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 8:39, archived)
# oooh took a while
but well done :D
(I helped save b3ta! cakeburglar still bored with Freebase, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 9:40, archived)
# Clevar stuff!
Took me a minute...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:10, archived)
# WOW
This is great
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:51, archived)
# well, he's clearly an ass man
WOO!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:17, archived)
# thats brilliant!
*clicks & slaps*
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:53, archived)

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